Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Rumia's Party Games => Topic started by: Stuffman on February 22, 2012, 04:49:58 AM
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[Due to time constraints, I will not be spending more than ten minutes per picture. Brace yourself for QUALITY.]
Now you've done it.
(http://i.imgur.com/F8um6.png)
After all the years of constant vigilance, after all the sinister machinations you've plotted to ensure your own place as mastermind of Gensokyo, after all the harsh lessons you've taught in order to get youkai to not use their power recklessly, all it took was one oni drinking game to make you slip up and cause an incident of unprecedented scale and leave you powerless and a few feet away from having your head gapped up your own ass.
> Yukari: Evaluate situation.
(http://i.imgur.com/V1YBw.png)
Your booze-addled mind attempts to piece together the sequence of events that just occured. In a foolhardy display of the absolutely ridiculous capacity of your ABILITY TO MANIPULATE BOUNDARIES, you stuffed what you believe to be a large chunk of Gensokyo into one of your gaps. However, due to COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL and the complex interactions of the FRANKLY ABSURD ABILITIES possessed by the other youkai you were interfering with, your powers did not function as expected, and you were pulled into your own gap when you attempted to encapsulate everyone around you. This is what happens when you try to show off.
By the way, "pulled into your own gap" is in the literal sense. You are currently trapped between the BORDER of SOME OF YOURSELF and THE REST OF YOURSELF.
(http://i.imgur.com/HrGII.png)
You aren't entirely clear on how this works, but because you are between your body rather than inside it, you cannot take any physical action and you have no access to your abilities. You're in quite a pickle!
You are too drunk and frustrated to make any further sense of the situation, or to come up with a way to right yourself. You are very tired, and you decide to deal with this later.
> Yukari: Black out.
(http://i.imgur.com/AYoOO.png)
You do what you do best. It's Ran's problem now.
~
(http://i.imgur.com/w4YWd.png)
> Examine surroundings.
You are currently inside an immeasurably large void lit only by the eerie, glowing gaze of a countless number of floating eyes. Chunks of familiar landmarks of the underground (and a few less familiar places) appear to be floating about, but there is no sign of the huge number of rambunctious partygoers that had occupied it just moments ago.
(http://i.imgur.com/gv0Hs.png)
You aren't sure what to make of this.
However, even if all of you weren't there to witness it yourselves, it should be obvious that the gap hag was involved.
(http://i.imgur.com/w5aqO.png)
As a matter of fact, she's floating right over there. Whatever she did, the old witch seems to have blown a fuse, because she isn't doing anything besides drooling and standing there like a zombie. Doesn't look like she's going to be much help.
You decide to discuss what you were doing and what you saw before THE VAST GAP engulfed everything in the underground. Maybe your combined viewpoints can piece together the sequence of events that led to this mess.
Who will go first?
(http://i.imgur.com/JDbJk.png)
> SELECT PLAYER: _
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Science! baby!
Proff. Asakura to the Morning Rescue.
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> Ichirin & Unzan
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> Ichirin & Unzan
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Uh, are the pictures' links broken?
>Ichirin and Unzan
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Wait a tic... if Rika (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Rika) is actually Rikako (as is speculated) that would open the possibilty of Evil Eye Sigma....
Sorry Unz-Man, but crazy eyeball death machines is much too tempting.
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Uh, are the pictures' links broken?
Are they? Can anyone else not see them? I've been trying to get away from Imageshack lately D:
Updates after work.
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> Ichirin/Unzan
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>Rikako
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Are they? Can anyone else not see them? I've been trying to get away from Imageshack lately D:
Updates after work.
I'm seeing them fine.
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>Player Pick: Rikako!
Science is the name of the game! Plus, I want a PC-98 main character! XD
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> Rikako.
There are very few people I would still trust to pull off a decent MSPA. Do us proud, Stuffs.
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>unzan :justasplanned:
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>Rikako
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>Ichirin & Unzan
you certainly lightened up my day, manstuff.
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>Ichirin & Unzan
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looking at that image again I'm getting much less MSPA vibes and much more NES TMNT
the only question now is
who is donatello
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> Patchouli
:3
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> Ichirin & Unzan
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>Satori
Hipster powers activate.
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> Patchy, but I'm pro-Rikako in case of a tie vote with Ichirin.
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Patchouli is my favorite, but I like Rikako a lot too. It would be interesting to have a viewpoint we wouldn't normally get from a Touhou adventure.
Cut by ninja: Actually, I am in perfect agreement.
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>Satorin!
Her pose in that picture is just amazing~
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Man, this is quite the vote battle.
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Let's actually give some characterisation to the hitbox.
I mean, Ichirin and Unzan.
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> Satori!
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>Unzan. And, to a much lesser extent, Ichirin.
PC98 are ungames.
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FUCK YEAH PC-98
>Rikako
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People that haven't posted in chess in ages don't get a vote.
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o shit!
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vote count please
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Ichirin wins, even counting the partial support for Rikako. Writing/drawing up the intro now.
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Rikako: 7. (9 when counting the 2 votes from Patchouli.)
Patchouli: 3. (Two votes to be used on Rikako if Patchy doesn't catch up.)
Satori: 3.
Ichirin w/ Unzan: 10.
Rikako is a vote behind~
[Cut by unseen Edit. DAMN IT! >< ]
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Less silly fanboying for favourites and more attention for the underappreciated characters. Also
People that haven't posted in chess in ages don't get a vote.
Agreed
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(http://i.imgur.com/WQ4LJ.png)
You are ICHIRIN KUMOI, THE BIG WHEEL THAT GUARDS AND IS GUARDED. You are one of the oldest and most devout followers of BYAKUREN HIJIRI, and you train as a warrior monk at the MYOUREN TEMPLE with your partner UNZAN.
Despite appearances, you are actually VERY STYLISH. You have a strong interest in fashion and modern music, and designing clothes is one of your hobbies. You have a closet full of dresses you never get a chance to wear, because your STYLE is exceeded only by your PIETY. You are mad pious. You bring the Dharma to the table like Barkley brought the b-ball to the hoop. Nobody here is more devoted to the teachings of the Buddha except for Byakuren herself. If that means you have to set aside your worldly interests (like the TOTALLY AWESOME new spring catalogue) to keep your eyes on the prize, then in your eyes it's well worth it.
Unfortunately, your rigid discipline means you are NOT VERY POPULAR. You have made an effort to show more personality through various outlets, such as coming up with a catchphrase, but these efforts have thus far been in vain.
(http://i.imgur.com/tGrNU.png)
Oh well, at least Unzan thought it was good. The Buddha appreciates humility, anyway.
(http://i.imgur.com/5Bmg8.png)
Speaking of which, you are also UNZAN. You aren't big on titles, or even talking, for that matter. You are Ichirin's partner and have been for ages. Ichirin has the ability to control you, but she hasn't actually needed to use it since shortly after you first met. You would follow her to the ends of the earth. At least YOU THINK you think that, anyway. It could just be her controlling you and causing you to feel that way, but that doesn't seem like something she would do, but maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it, but YOU KNOW WHAT, WHO CARES. You don't like to dwell on this sort of thing.
You are eternally grateful to BYAKUREN HIJIRI for providing a home for both you and Ichirin, and you figure some GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BUDDHISM is just what these damn rebellious youkai kids need nowadays. Darn kids, running around with their spellcards and thinking they have all the answers to everything. They need some DISCIPLINE, and you are bringing discipline to the table like Mike Tyson brought the knockouts to the ring. As an active member of the MYOUREN TEMPLE, you provide the muscle for this outfit.
(http://i.imgur.com/mbj99.png)
Today is a special day! YUUGI HOSHIGUMA of the oni has sent out mass invitations to a GIGANTIC PARTY IN FORMER HELL as a gesture of FRIENDSHIP between the youkai of the surface and the underground, partially to ease tensions after RECENT EVENTS (of which you were a part). Although it doesn't feel like it's been all that long since you and your comrades were trapped down there, you are still TOTALLY PSYCHED for this SWEET SHINDIG. This is just the excuse you need to get out there and socialize. Apparently, even the pop idol Yamame Kurodani will be performing, and you love a good concert.
It is early morning in the MYOUREN TEMPLE. Byakuren has said everyone can leave for the party as soon as all the daily chores are done, so everyone is up early and hard at work. (Except Nazrin, you haven't seen her all day.) You just finished hanging the laundry and you're looking for something else to do.
> _
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>Retrieve arms from cloud!
>What's that echo doing over there?
>Pester Greet the 'potentially loud' youkai.
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> Consider what chores we usually do.
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> Ichirin: Retrieve arms from cloud.
(http://i.imgur.com/KbQsP.png)
You have arms and he doesn't. If anything, he should be retrieving arms from you.
> Ichirin: Examine Kyouko.
(http://i.imgur.com/iSK1y.png)
This is KYOUKO KASODANI, a recent but enthusiastic addition to the Myouren Temple's ranks. This girl has quite a mouth on her. You can hear her from a mile away and she can recite sutras like nobody's business. She was quickly given a position as temple greeter, but she pitches in with the cooking and cleaning as well. She appears to be hard at work sweeping the temple grounds, probably hoping to get finished quickly so she can go to the party.
> Ichirin: Greet Kyouko.
(http://i.imgur.com/mzPe0.png)
You already saw her this morning, but she gives her usual hearty "GOOD MORNING" all the same. You think she just likes doing that.
> Ichirin: Go over mental chore checklist.
You are normally in charge of laundry because you are the only one who pays proper attention to separating loads correctly. You don't even want to get into how many of Shou's furs have been wrecked because somebody couldn't read "DRY CLEAN ONLY". While this is normally a time-consuming task, you were already caught up on it in anticipation of being ready for today, so you were done ahead of everyone else.
Unzan is pretty good at the whole "beating dirt out of rugs" thing but you're not sure how thorough Byakuren is expecting you to be, here.
> _
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>Inventory
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> Check self for stylish clothing for the party
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"OHIO (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIE5quVkGlY)!"
YES!
>Have the dusted mats been put back?
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> Wonder what is up with all the sports metaphors.
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Apparently, even the pop idol Yamame Kurodani will be performing, and you love a good concert.
... OK, interesting choice :V
> Mental note of visitors so far today, and anyone who usually visits
> Where might Nazrin have gone?
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Yamame being a pop idol is actually not uncommon in fan works.
> When Kyouko is no longer looking, check chest for usual growths.
> Are all commands to be entered from Ichirin's perspective, or is there a way to differentiate between her and Unzan?
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Use purple for Ichirin if you want to differentiate, I guess.
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> Unzan: Resist urge to laugh at Kyouko's :D
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Naturally Unzan's words are in pink.
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I had considered purple and pink, yes, but I wanted to check first.
> Make a mental note to eat Nazrin for not liking out totally awesome catchphrase.
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Just use "Ichirin:" or "Unzan:" if you want to specify who a command is for. If you don't, I'll assume it's for Ichirin.
> Ichirin: Check inventory.
- 1 x Golden Ring
- 5 x Spellcard
The Golden Ring is a weapon you use to help direct Unzan in battle by pointing its energy at certain targets; it does so by conducting electricity in the air, which a cloud like Unzan is sensitive to. The ring is also solid enough to be used for striking an enemy directly, so you use it as your primary melee weapon as well. Wielding it makes you somewhat weak to electric attacks, though. Don't tell anyone!!
The spellcards are your usual set: Unarguable Youkai Punch, Heavenly Net Sandbag, Fist Smash, A Scolding From a Traditional Old Man, and you've also started carrying Nyuudou Nyoki as a trump card.
You are currently not carrying any actual supplies. You'll have a chance to stock up when you return to your room to change for the party.
Oh, there is one more thing.
(http://i.imgur.com/oDqMn.png)
You reach into your hood and pull out your BACKUP CANDY, two GRAPE JOLLY RANCHERS. Only a fool would leave the house without their BACKUP CANDY.
> Ichirin: Check clothes.
You are currently wearing your usual monk getup. You wouldn't want to do chores in your party dress, would you? Besides, you haven't actually decided what you're going to wear yet. You're itching to dive into your warddrobe to pick something out!
> Ichirin: Consider the mats again.
You guess they could use a good dust-busting, but that's something you'd rather not get into today because there are a lot of mats in the temple and you'd be busy with it for quite a while. Byakuren just wants the daily chores done, so you file it away as something to do later.
> Ichirin: Wonder about the sports metaphors.
(http://i.imgur.com/Tb8zu.png)
Unzan reminds you that those are similes, not metaphors. You're just curious who Charles Barkley is.
> Ichirin: Think about visitors to the temple.
You wonder if anyone will even show up today. This party's a pretty big deal! You guess you might still get a few human patrons; Byakuren wants the temple to be presentable, just in case. Minamitsu doesn't want to go with the rest of you for some reason, so she'll be staying behind to take care of anyone that drops by.
The Myouren Temple gets a wide range of visitors, both human and youkai. To name some names:
- AKYU NO HIEDA has been by a few times to gather information about both the temple and the youkai living here.
- KEINE KAMISHIRASAWA comes by frequently to make sure the temple is safe for humans, as she is concerned about it being so close to the human village. Apparently, she is aware of the UNFORTUNATE MISHAPS that occured last time Byakuren tried this. Although that was a disaster, she seems pretty distrustful for being half-youkai herself!
- MARISA KIRISAME drops by occasionally, usually to harass Byakuren about something magic-related.
- KOGASA TATARA hunts this area for easy scares since humans pass by frequently. You try to shoo her away whenever you see her.
- SUWAKO MORIYA and SANAE KOCHIYA visit every once in a while. Suwako seems to have become friends with Byakuren pretty quickly. You're confused as to why Suwako is supporting a rival temple, and Sanae seems to be too. If anything you've heard about the frog god is true, then shenanigans are surely afoot.
- THOSE PESKY TAOISTS pop up from time to time, usually to pull minor stunts like defacing the temple or stealing statues. They don't have enough manpower to do any real damage, though.
(http://i.imgur.com/tTV0J.png)
> Ichirin: Wonder where Nazrin is.
You have no idea! She's pretty secretive. You all woke up pretty early, so she must have deliberately slipped out before anyone else was awake. Even though you've been her friend for a long time, you feel like you don't really know her that well. You just hope she's not planning to skip out on the party. She doesn't like crowds.
> Ichirin: Check chest for usual growths.
(http://i.imgur.com/xliz2.png)
They're alright. Could be better, could be worse.
> Unzan: Resist urge to laugh at Kyouko.
This is an easy task because you never laugh. When somebody tells a good joke you simply nod approvingly.
> _
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> Make a mental note to eat Nazrin for not liking our totally awesome catchphrase.
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> Head for our room and the wardrobe. Best to pick something out before hand to prevent last-minute panicking.
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>Juggle some danmaku!
[What? If we're going to *honk* for stuff, we must do this!]
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> Ichirin: Contemplate catchphrase incident.
You can't hold it against Nazrin. Her brutal honesty is something you all count on. If it wasn't for her, Byakuren would still be doing the cooking.
(http://i.imgur.com/ITone.png)
> Ichirin: Return to room.
Well, you DID keep on top of your chores specifically for this purpose and finish ahead of time. Maybe you've earned a head start. It's not like you can find anything else to help out with, anyway. You'd help Kyouko finish sweeping, but the other broom (and a wall) was destroyed when Minamitsu used it to swat a fly last week.
You turn back towards the living quarters, when SUDDENLY!
(http://i.imgur.com/1CZeD.png)
OH HELL NO. You see a small group of fairies fly over the wall and towards the temple. The last thing you need right now is to have the cleaning held up by a bunch of fairy pranks.
You go after them with EXTREME PREJUDICE TOLERANCE.
> SET SPELL CARD!!
(http://i.imgur.com/wqPCi.png)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C7xIWxC-Ao) ]
Kyouko wants in on the excitement and joins in too.
It is your turn! You look over your COMMAND LIST and contemplate exactly what manner of EXTREME OVERKILL you should employ. Or you can do something not on the list, whatever. It's Gensokyo, you play it fast and loose here.
> _
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>Are we quite good at punching and pulverizing without Unzan's help? If we think we are good enough to pulverize A fairy, then go for the first hit!
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> Prayer, whatshisname style, that regenerating priest guy from Hellsing.
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>ENOUGH THINKING START PUNCHING THEM IN THE FACE
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Path, Noble Eightfold!
We shall make Byakuren proud by beating some learnings into these faeries!
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> Laser/spiralling bullet based nonspell. Take your pick of which one.
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Path, Noble Eightfold!
> Seconded. Whatever it does.
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Path, Noble Eightfold!
> Thirded if not just to see what happens.
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> Path, Noble Eightfold!
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>Unzan: Pulverize!
>Ichirin: Path, Noble Eightfold!
>Kyouko: ECHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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>Ichirin: Pop 'em.
>Unzan: Present Musculature.
>Kyouko: Pipes.
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> Ichirin: Path, Noble Eightfold
> Kyouko: Practice Sutras
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> Ichirin AND Unzan: Do our Budddhist teaching really permit violent denial of access to our temple just because the intruders are fairies?
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> Path, Noble Eightfold.
> Consider upgrading Punch to Pummel.
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> Ichirin: Question morality of greeting fairies with EXTREME TOLERANCE.
(http://i.imgur.com/bIna7.png)
Good question. Should you really come down on them like the hammer of the gods just for commiting the crime of being fairies on a sunny day? You decide to use your DETECT ALIGNMENT class feature to determine their intent.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZqTZS.png)
The fairies are on the deep end of the TOMFOOLERY AXIS of the ALIGNMENT GRID. They are almost certainly up to no good. Yeah, you think you're in the clear.
> Ichirin: Use BUDDHATECH - PATH, NOBLE EIGHTFOLD.
You randomly tap into one of the EIGHT ASPECTS that will guide you down the path to ending suffering. Yours, not the fairy's.
(http://i.imgur.com/kLFLW.gif)
Wheel of Dharma, turn turn turn. Teach us the lesson that we should learn!
(http://i.imgur.com/PFBWR.png)
You land on the FIRST ASPECT, RIGHT VIEW.
Right view is placed first because right view is the eye that guides and directs all the other factors. In the practice of the path, we need the vision and understanding supplied by right views, in order to see the way to travel along the path. Then we need the other factors, conduct or practice, in order to bring us to our destination.
Right view is placed at the beginning of the path to show that before we can set foot on the actual practice, we need the understanding provided by right view, as our guide, our inner director, to show us where we are starting from, where we are heading, and what are the successive stages to be passed through in practice.
Usually the Buddha defines right view as the understanding of the Four Noble Truths: suffering, the origin, its cessation and the way to its cessation. To follow the path right from the start we need a correct perspective on the human condition. We have to see that our lives are not fully satisfactory, that life is impermanent, that it is subject to suffering, and we have to understand that suffering is something that we have to penetrate by means of knowledge, something that we have to conquer, and not something we should escape from by pain removers, entertainment, distractions or dull forgetfulness.
At the deepest level we have to see that all things that make up our being, the five aggregates, are impermanent, constantly changing, and therefore cannot be held to as a basis for security or unchanging happiness. Then we have to see that the cause of Dukkha lies in our own mind. Nobody is imposing it on us. We cannot put the blame outside ourselves. It is through our own craving and clinging that we produce suffering and pain for ourselves. Then when we see that the cause of the Dukkha lies in our own mind, we understand that the key to liberation too lies in our own mind. That key is the overcoming of ignorance and craving by means of wisdom. Then, to enter the path, we need the confidence that by following the Noble Eightfold Path we can reach the goal, the cessation of suffering.
The Buddha defines right view as the understanding of the Four Noble Truths for a very important reason, namely, that he does not want his disciples to practice his teaching merely out of feelings of devotion. Rather, he wants them to follow the path on the basis of their own understanding. Their own insight into the nature of human life.
(http://i.imgur.com/UK2lu.png)
O, the world of Dharma is filled with light. The Right View fills your eyes with DIVINE POWER.
BEHOLD! OPTIC BLAST!
(http://i.imgur.com/Hh23N.png)
Unzan's DUAL DUEL ability procs! You score a 2x BUDDHATECH COMBO! On top of that, you roll a CRITICAL HIT for MAXIMUM DAMAGE!!
(http://i.imgur.com/yThPg.png)
FAIRY A'S Focus Sash breaks. It survives with 1 HP.
(http://i.imgur.com/K4P7R.png)
FAIRY A'S turn! It uses FLOWER SCOUR to fire petal bullets at you, but you use NYUUDOU-PARRY to block it.
> Kyouko: Do something loud.
You cannot give commands to Kyouko! She does not have PURPLE HAIR. You need a GREEN COMMAND INTERPRETER for that. Your PURPLE COMMAND INTERPRETER only works on characters with PURPLE HAIR or that are otherwise strongly associated with the CONCEPT OF PURPLE.
(http://i.imgur.com/9rX2S.png)
Fortunately, she had the same idea anyway. Kyouko attempts to finish FAIRY A off with ECHO CHAMBER, trapping the fairy in one of her signature ECHO BARRIERS and firing bullets into it!
(http://i.imgur.com/ou0AT.png)
FAIRY A uses AUTO-FAIRY to block the attack, using her friend as a shield! FAIRY B takes the hit instead! FAIRY B is defeated!
(http://i.imgur.com/2YI2x.png)
Witnessing this CASUAL ACT OF TREACHERY is heartbreaking! Kyouko is DEMORALIZED!
It's your turn again.
> _
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VEEEEENGEANCE. (wait why are we avenging an enemy)
>Pulverize.
oh god idol yamame I love you stuffman
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> Consider that one reason we may be NOT VERY POPULAR because we went into this battle all srsmode while all the other non-Unzan participants had giant :Ds on their faces. This might need to be rectified in the future.
> The detect alignment table reminds us of something important! What is our opinion of Nue Houjuu?
> Such treachery and cruelty to both Fairy B and Kyouko must not go unscolded! PULVERIZE Fairy A until she learns her lesson of not throwing friends away for her own safety.
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>Pulverize.
>Brush your teeth after every meal.
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> Inform the fairy of why she must be punished and then administer pulverizings.
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>
Unzan Ichirin: Pulverize.
> Ichirin Unzan: Support Kyouko.
EDIT: on second thought yeah Muffin and Anthy have the right idea
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> Unzan: hug Kyouko.
I lost it at the introduction of the BACKUP CANDY. But the auto-parries are just splendid~
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>Unzan: Hug Kyouko
>Ichirin: Punch a Fairy
Fun looking so far Stuffman, gonna keep up on this one o7
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> Consider that one reason we may be NOT VERY POPULAR because we went into this battle all srsmode while all the other non-Unzan participants had giant :Ds on their faces.
> That is because they do not comprehend the stakes here, nor the forces at work behind them!
> Pummel remaining fairy.
> Commence Taskmaster learning of Auto-Fairy technique.
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>We don't care much about popularity, as our Buddhist teachings would inform us that living simply and humbly is much better!
>...Right?
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> We can still offer a prayer for the poor sods we've pummeled.
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> Ichirin: PULVERIZE.
(http://i.imgur.com/YdbqY.png)
You inform the fairy that the pain it is about to receive is the work of the KARMA it has brought upon itself.
(http://i.imgur.com/8BQa0.png)
> Unzan: Iron Fist 「 An Unarguable Youkai Punch 」.
(http://i.imgur.com/qlBst.png)
You send the fairy to its respawn room for the rest of the day to think about what it's done.
You have won the battle!
- You get 2x FAIRYBUCKS. You keep a stack of these in your room, but you have no idea what you can even use these to buy. You've never seen a fairy actually use them.
- You get 1x FOCUS SASH. Equipping this UNFASHIONABLE ACCESSORY will prevent you from being knocked out in one hit. This will let you survive one additional round against an opponent you have no chance of defeating!
> Ichirin: Comfort Kyouko.
(http://i.imgur.com/jByl2.png)
You hug Kyouko until she works her sniffles out. This poor girl is simply not suited to the HORRORS OF WAR.
> Ichirin: Compose post-battle thoughts.
For some reason ALL SORTS OF STRANGE QUESTIONS tend to pop into your head during a fight. You should really work on your focus.
> Ichirin: Consider personal combat skill.
You've been training with Shou and Minamitsu, but you're still not quite as good as either of them, much less Unzan. You need more practice, but you could beat a low-level youkai with your martial arts alone.
> Ichirin: Consider demeanor in battle and popularity implications.
You used to walk into battle with a GOOFY SMILE much like EVERYONE ELSE IN GENSOKYO, but then you read a book on the subject of PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE during competitions. Your current no-nonsense scowl is what is known as a GAME FACE, designed to intimidate your opponent. You're not really sure if it works, though.
Your popularity isn't so much an issue as much as trying to get others to respect you, and by extension, the Myouren Temple.
> Ichirin: Think about Nue.
(http://i.imgur.com/5djXE.png)
NUE HOUJUU is almost more trouble than she is worth. Her INCORRIGIBLE PRANKSTERISM is distressing for both you and the visitors to the temple. It is clear that she has NO INTEREST IN BUDDHISM but at least she is sincere about helping Byakuren because she has been a VICTIM OF YOUKAI OPPRESSION in the past. She did also bring Mamizou aboard, who has been considerably more helpful, so there's that.
This train of thought causes you to
> Ichirin: Think about Mamizou.
(http://i.imgur.com/OtsyC.png)
MAMIZOU FUTATSUIWA is a SHAMELESS FREELOADER. She conveniently disappears whenever there are chores to be done (today, for instance) and goes through a significant amount of the temple's good alcohol, much to Minamitsu's chagrin. She does make up for it by bringing home dinner once or twice a week, and her presence has SIGNIFICANTLY BOLSTERED the temple's defensive capabilities. She's at least as strong as Shou, and her danmaku is downright trippy. She's also pretty friendly with the human clientele and good at verbally disarming the hakutaku. Overall, you'd rather have her around than not.
> Ichirin: Consider learning AUTO-FAIRY.
That would be INCREDIBLY SILLY. You already have NYUUDOU-PARRY, one of the best AUTO-PARRIES in the game! AUTO-FAIRY is awfully situational, by comparison.
Wait, what were you doing again?
> _
-
> Remember that we were about to head to our room to pick clothes.
-
> Has Nue ever fought in the Temple's defense like Mamizou apparently has?
-
>Get Unzan to help Kyouko out with the sweeping whilst you obtain change of clothes.
-
> Ichirin: Evaluate Nue's tactical value.
Nue usually helps the rest of you drive away THOSE PESKY TAOISTS if she's around, but she's not much of a fighter. You and Unzan could beat her, to be honest. Mamizou, on the other hand, was able to get rid of Marisa by herself.
(http://i.imgur.com/I089n.png)
What Nue really contributes is her ability to shapeshift and spy on the other youkai factions. She regularly reports to Byakuren about rumors she's seen or heard. You're not sure how valuable or reliable this information is, though, since those reports are private.
> Ichirin: Have Unzan help Kyouko and go back inside.
Unless you want him to sweep with his beard, there isn't much he can do, but he agrees to stay and keep her company while you get ready.
You go back to the living area of the temple. Shou is in the foyer, fretting over something, as usual.
(http://i.imgur.com/9ZTS1.png)
> _
-
> Ask Shou what she's fretting over.
-
>Wonder if we know where the pagoda is, since Shou never seems to.
-
> Contemplate why we're the only one in the temple that's actually in color.
-
>Obviously it's our purple-ness!
-
> Wonder if we can give Bykauren half-commands.
-
> Ichirin: Question color-blindness.
For some reason you get the sense that you're not seeing colors correctly. You step outside and fire some danmaku to check.
(http://i.imgur.com/oHI59.png)
Nope, there's a green, blue, and purple laser there. Everything looks normal. You get the strangest ideas sometimes! Next you'll be wondering whether you have a nose or not.
> Ichirin: Be Byakuren.
(http://i.imgur.com/JITBH.png)
The type of COMMAND INTERPRETER required goes by volume, so you need a BRUNETTE COMMAND INTERPRETER to play as Byakuren. The only command you can give Byakuren with your PURPLE COMMAND INTERPRETER is "Namusan".
At least this system is an improvement over the last version, in which you would have needed both a PURPLE COMMAND INTERPRETER and a BRUNETTE COMMAND INTERPRETER to do anything. Keine was practically unplayable.
> Ichirin: Ask Shou what she lost this time.
(http://i.imgur.com/EAj63.png)
Shou tells you that she can't the other one of her favorite JEWELED PAGODA EARRINGS that she wants to wear to the party and that she CAN'T FIND NAZRIN ANYWHERE and that THIS IS JUST TERRIBLE!
You tell her that it is perfectly fashionable to wear just one earring.
Shou tells you that she can't remember which side implies that the wearer is gay, and worries that she will get it wrong and that people will think she is straight!!
> _
-
> Tell her it's the right ear that implies homosexuality. If she questions why we know, remind her that we are FASHION EXTRAORDINAIRE and thus an expert on the general subject.
> ...Wait, why is this even a thing?
> Whatever. Ask Shou where she saw it last, and how thoroughly she's scoured her room in an attempt to find it.
> What is Buddhism's stance on sexual intimacy?
-
>I guess it's good that we know which ear it is... But do we know whether that even applies to women or not? :V
>Recall if there are any special lovely ladies or gentlemen in our heart.
-
> Ask Shou why she can't use her ABILITY TO GATHER TREASURES to find the earring.
Also,
(http://i.imgur.com/S4Vda.gif)
-
(http://i.imgur.com/S4Vda.gif)
pffffffffahahaha
> Bykauren: Namusan
-
>Recall if there are any special lovely ladies or gentlemen in our heart.
> Then veer quickly away from this topic.
> :|
-
> Then veer quickly away from this topic.
> :|
Really?
>Then veer back towards this topic. It's important information.
-
I don't have a problem with checking in on relationship status, but if there's nothing established I don't feel any particular need to try to get in someone's pants.
-
She's a nun. Only the Great Buddha and Byakuren should be in our hearts.
-
Should get unzan in our pants
-
Only when we need to pop and lock. Instant parachute pants.
-
Wait, if we need a purple command interpreter, then that means we can probably be any character mainly being purple, which unless we're missing the tengu command interpreter...
>Become Hatate
-
Wait, if we need a purple command interpreter, then that means we can probably be any character mainly being purple, which unless we're missing the tengu command interpreter...
>Become Hatate
We will not be devolving the game into random crap like this.
-
Nuns or gtfo :V
-
> Ichirin: Tell Shou it's the right ear.
(http://i.imgur.com/LsE6d.png)
For now, Shou decides to put on the one earring she does have so she doesn't lose it as well.
(http://i.imgur.com/f0Kqi.png)
Shou is EXCEPTIONALLY EMBARRASSED to remember that she ALREADY HAD THIS IDEA.
(http://i.imgur.com/r3mBB.png)
Shou ESCAPES TO THE SIDE.
> Ichirin: Wonder why this is even a thing.
Buddhism generally does not make a THING out of intimate relationships. Monastic orders STRICTLY FORBID that kind of contact, but the typical Buddhist obviously needs to procreate and the Myouren Temple isn't particularly strict. You're not sure how Byakuren feels about it because frankly it would be EXCEPTIONALLY EMBARRASSING to ask her about it. It doesn't really matter anyway because the issue hasn't come up yet for you. You'll cross that bridge when you come to it!
This train of thought causes you to
> Ichirin: Recall past relationships.
A very, very long time ago, you and Minimitsu were together for a brief period. It didn't work out because in the end you were just too different. Any awkwardness has long since passed and you are JUST FRIENDS now. However, you are the only one besides Byakuren that can get away with calling her "Minamitsu" instead of "Murasa".
You aren't looking for a relationship nowadays. You have your SPIRITUAL TRAINING to focus on, and besides, you wouldn't want to make Unzan feel like a third wheel.
> Byakuren: Namusan.
(http://i.imgur.com/CmVJp.png)
> Be Hatate.
(http://i.imgur.com/J55xv.png)
You can't be HATATE HIMEKAIDOU because she is too busy having a BITCH FIGHT with AYA SHAMEIMARU.
Also, she is a BRUNETTE, dummy! Wearing purple clothes isn't enough. It needs to be something more concrete, like HAVING YOUR NAME BE PURPLE.
> Ichirin: Head down the hall.
BYAKUREN, SHOU, and YOU have your bedrooms on the left side, while MINAMITSU and KYOUKO have their bedrooms on the right. You have quite a few OPEN ROOMS on either side for future recruits as well.
NAZRIN has the entrance to her room hidden in the basement, near where the mice are nesting. Only she and Nue can reach it without it being a big hassle. According to Nue, Nazrin has the place set up like a war room.
NUE simply crashes under the KOTATSU. According to her, holding onto any personal property would only leave her vulnerable to COUNTERPRANKING. Her PRANKSTERISM is almost ascetic.
MAMIZOU sleeps outside in the trees, at least for now. You're not sure if she'll want to move in when it gets cold again.
> Ichirin: Enter Room.
You wait patiently while the author draws a room full of THINGS OF INTEREST.
> _
-
You wait patiently while the author draws a room full of THINGS OF INTEREST.
>Patiencetech: I Khanti Wait, Or Maybe I Can
-
> How often does REIMU HAKUREI come by?
-
Name being Purple?
> Be Yukari Yakumo
> Gap into the temple to check up on party-going status
-
You realize Yukari's asleep, right?
-
How could I forget she'd be asleep?
Oh well worth a try.
> Wonder what the odds are that Nue's responsible for Shou's missing earring.
-
How could I forget she'd be asleep?
Oh well worth a try.
> Wonder what the odds are that Nue's responsible for Shou's missing earring.
...she has the earring. She already had it on.
Try reading everything again.
-
...she has the earring. She already had it on.
Try reading everything again.
...
Oh, now I get it, Shou had the 'missing' earring on already.
I didn't notice.
You know what I'll just be quiet until my head gets put on the right way around again.
-
One Earring is missing, hence why Shou was looking for it. Plus it specifically says 'For now, Shou decides to put on the one earring she does have so she doesn't lose it as well.'
(http://i.imgur.com/f0Kqi.png)
-
In fairness, I missed that the first time around as well. I thought the spotlighted earring was the one she was putting on.
-
very funny so far
> Udongein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> Kill Reisen (II) so she won't be able to use purple commands
(edit)
-
Such is the pitfall of MSPaint :ohdear:
Unfortunately I do not have access to the color yellow to make the one in her other hand more obvious!
Also at this point in the story Yukari is not trapped in her own gap yet, but we'll get to her in a bit.
Edit: Actually we will eventually get to every other character that can use the purple command interpreter so just be patient :V
-
I don't have a problem with checking in on relationship status, but if there's nothing established I don't feel any particular need to try to get in someone's pants.
This, with Stuffman's answer, should be enough for now. I didn't expect anyone to react with such opposition though.
Edit: Actually we will eventually get to every other character that can use the purple command interpreter so just be patient :V
ooh neato
-
>Udonge: Kill Reisen (II) so she won't be able to use purple commands
Or that rifle... or anything for that matter! [Doki-Doki can GTFO!]
In all seriousness...
>What do we have that we could wear?
>Which ones have we worn recently, if any?
-
> Ichirin: Finish entering room.
You finally complete the HARROWING TASK of entering your bedroom.
(http://i.imgur.com/SgpcM.png)
Your room is quite busy but very tidy, showing off your RESPECTABLE INTERIOR DESIGN SENSIBILITIES. Among your various other knick-knacks, you have a WESTERN-STYLED BED that you are quite fond of, a KAPPATECH PHONOGRAPH and MINIFRIDGE in the corner, and your current goal, your WARDROBE, is on the back wall.
A PACKAGE WITH A NOTE appears to have been placed on your bed.
> Ichirin: Examine Yukkuri.
(http://i.imgur.com/3Cd5e.png)
What yukkuri?
Now that's you're finally alone, you can pick out what to wear and figure out what else to bring on your trip to the underground!
> _
-
>There had better be a bunny in that box! :3
>What do we have that we could wear for this event?
>Which one of those have we worn recently, if any?
-
> Check out IDOL POSTERS.
> Is that Shou's pagoda?
> Carpet, Noble Eightfold.
-
>Read note
>Where did we get that spiffy Unzan statue?
-
> Raid the fridge
-
> Put on some tunes.
> FASHION MONTAGE!
-
> Practice 'Kumoi is Sugoi' pose
-
>Examine your bust very closely.
-
>Package first! What if it's something pertaining to the party tonight, like a new hat or something?!
>We usually wear a hood. What is our stance on hats anyway, though?
-
> Wonder why the Jewled Pagoda of Bishimoten or however it's spelt is on your desk. Isn't that Shou's? Or is it just a pagoda-shaped desklamp?
-
>The box! The box!
>Wait, first let's rub the Buddha's belly for good luck, then the box!
-
> WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
-
You don't need to repost your questions if I skip over them, I'm just saving them for a more appropriate moment. :V
Since PURPLEQUEST is now being posted to Tumblr (http://purplequest.tumblr.com/tagged/purplequest/chrono) as well (although I'm still only taking commands from you guys) I'm going to work on having a more consistent train of thought in terms of commands while still answering all your questions, since your posts can't be seen there.
> Ichirin: Examine package.
(http://i.imgur.com/KkHXe.png)
You read the note attached to it.
(http://i.imgur.com/Qfld2.png)
What an unusually thoughtful gesture! It must be a rum cake. You don't think Minamitsu has ever baked a cake before, though. She eats almost nothing except rice and fish. Maybe she bought it.
> Ichirin: Examine Wheel of Dharma rug.
(http://i.imgur.com/wo3a4.png)
You love your rug! You bought it at an oni flea market while you were sealed underground. You've had it for ages. You can't imagine getting out of bed without your comfy rug under your feet to start the day.
> Ichirin: Examine Buddha figurine.
A common misconception! It's inaccurate to call this guy "Buddha", since this is actually not the Guatama Buddha that founded Buddhism. This jovial fellow is known as Hotei, a well-known incarnation of the Maitreya Buddha, who will come some day in the future to teach the true Dharma. He is sometimes called the "Laughing Buddha" but this tends to cause confusion with the original.
(http://i.imgur.com/qoiZY.png)
Look how happy he is! You hope that someday everybody will be able to benefit from the Buddha's wisdom and take it as easy as he does.
Minamitsu made this with her MAD WHITTLING SKILLS. This was just a small practice piece, but she let you have it since you liked it so much. She later made a much bigger one to put outside the temple.
> Ichirin: Rub Hotei's belly.
Couldn't hurt! You rub his belly and wish for the peace and prosperity of the Myouren Temple for years to come.
> Ichirin: Examine Unzan bust.
(http://i.imgur.com/EjUbi.png)
This piece is titled "The Nyuudou". It was made by a sculptor in the Human Village after he witnessed a tussle in the courtyard that you and Unzan were involved in; he was so inspired by the sight of Unzan in battle that he went right home and started work on this.
Unzan thinks it's too embarrassing to have a statue of himself on public display, so you keep it in your room. You know he likes it a lot, though!
> Ichirin: Examine Jeweled Pagoda.
(http://i.imgur.com/xLDA9.png)
Another one of your treasured possessions, this Jeweled Pagoda lamp is a REPLICA of SUPERB QUALITY. After Byakuren was sealed, there was a discussion about how to distribute the temple's relics; it was decided that the most prized one, the JEWELED PAGODA, would be given to Shou (in retrospect, this may not have been the best decision). Shou was so grateful that she commissioned these replicas and gave one to each of you, so that "everyone could have one".
At a glance, it's indistinguishable from the real thing - it's gold-plated and made with crystal glass, with a magical glowing light within. However, the lamps would later prove to be the bane of Shou's existence when she kept losing the Pagoda and confusing it with these; as a countermeasure, Nazrin gathered them all up and inscribed "NOT THE PAGODA" on the bottom of each one.
It's pretty valuable, so you keep it well-polished.
> Ichirin: Raid the fridge.
Does it count as raiding if everything inside is yours?
This is a KAPPATECH MINIFRIDGE, powered by CUCUMBER BIO-FUEL. In addition to keeping your drinks frosty, it also has a HOT setting that allows you to open it up and use it as a space heater in the winter.
Your fridge is full of TRENDY BEVERAGES from the outside world. Kourindou get a pretty wide variety of these. You check its CURRENT CONTENTS.
- 3x KAPPA-COLA. This is a cucumber-flavored soft drink produced by the kappa. They're much less sugary than the sodas from the outside world. You like to knock one back after a hard day of training.
- 2x NEW COKE. You like these colas, but they're awfully strong and they tend to leave a sticky taste in your mouth. You only have one every once in a great while. The "NEW" label makes you wonder what CLASSIC COKE tastes like, but you guess they wouldn't have changed it if the new one wasn't better. Nobody probably drinks CLASSIC COKE in the outside world anymore, which causes you to wonder why NEW COKE showed up in Gensokyo before CLASSIC COKE did.
- 1x CRYSTAL PEPSI. This is some kind of super-rare invisible cola. You dare not try it until you can get a second one!
- 2x SURGE. This is a fully loaded CITRUS SODA with CARBOS. You don't know what carbos are, but apparently they make you feel UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC!
> Ichirin: Examine idol posters.
(http://i.imgur.com/SbkVb.png)
The one on the left is one of your niche favorites, MYSTIA LORELEI. She's just so spunky! But people give you a hard time for liking her, and she even lost a few of her fans after she entered her goth phase and put out her latest album BROKEN WINGS, which is PRETTY EMO compared to her usual stuff. Mystia said she wanted to sing something more meaningful, which you have MAD RESPECT for. You ignore the haters, they're probably just Prismrivers fangirls anyway.
The one on the right is YAMAME KURODANI, and she's more popular than ever after her latest album, LOVE DISEASE. Yamame started underground (both literally and figuratively) and built up a wide fanbase while experimenting with a lot of different music styles. Her popularity exploded when she burst on the stage with her new idol routine, and you are SUPER PUMPED to see her perform later today!
> _
-
- 2x SURGE. This is a fully loaded CITRUS SODA with CARBOS. You don't know what carbos are, but apparently they make you feel UNCOMFORTABLY ENERGETIC!
>FEED THE RUSH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KfB93dSl90) POSTHASTE
>While imbibing beverage, contemplate the majesty of Idol Yamame and retrieve a spare habit and scapular.
-
Since PURPLEQUEST is now being posted to Tumblr (http://purplequest.tumblr.com/tagged/purplequest/chrono) as well (although I'm still only taking commands from you guys) I'm going to work on having a more consistent train of thought in terms of commands while still answering all your questions, since your posts can't be seen there.
>Compliment parser on his choice of layout.
>Examine books and scrolls above the two desks!
-
> Confirm that our REPLICA JEWELED PAGODA is, actually, a REPLICA. You never know with these things.
-
> List songs available for requesting during Yamame's show
-
> Examine Phonograph.
> Check wardrobe selection.
-
> Confirm that our REPLICA JEWELED PAGODA is, actually, a REPLICA. You never know with these things.
> More specifically, you never know if Nue's swapped them to cause Shou greif, or Shou's misplaced them... again.
-
>Do a small dance of excitement before kissing Yamame!
>How in the world does Shou lose the pagoda so often?
-
> Ichirin: Examine bookshelves.
(http://i.imgur.com/FF8iJ.png)
These are your BUDDHIST TEXTS. Although they look EXCEPTIONALLY UNWIELDY, you had plenty of time to read them underground. You'd actually like to peruse them again from time to time, but these books are VERY OLD and you really don't want to manhandle them too much, lest they start falling apart. They need to be scribed into new books sometime soon, but apparently TENGU PRINTING TECHNOLOGY is advancing quickly and they're on the verge of being able to REPRODUCE TEXT simply by taking pictures of it. That'd save a lot of time!
> Ichirin: Double-check Jeweled Pagoda Lamp.
(http://i.imgur.com/5G8Nx.png)
Everything seems to be in order here.
You wonder how Shou can lose hers so often. It glows pretty bright!
> Ichirin: Wonder what Yamame will sing at her concert.
(http://i.imgur.com/lIqia.png)
You look over the titles from her latest CD. Of course, she could sing anything from her previous albums as well, or maybe even a new song altogether! Yamame is always full of surprises. Whatever it is, you're sure it'll be exciting!
> Ichirin: FEED THE RUSH, POSTHASTE.
Sure, why not? You're going to be running all over former hell today. You could use the energy!
You pop open a SURGE and chug it with gusto!
(http://i.imgur.com/zpCJn.png)
You feel SO ENERGETIC. You have GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!
ENOUGH PUSSYFOOTING AROUND, it's FASHION TIME!
(Now everyone be patient while I prepare the next sequence :V )
-
>Unzan: Punch the 4th wall to make Stuffman write quicker!
>Stuffman: Be on shroooooooms~ :3
-
> Rock out to some Love Disease.
-
>Examine the fashion cabinet forthwith!
-
> Ichirin: Open wardrobe.
(http://i.imgur.com/3Glm6.png)
You throw open the doors to your MAGICAL WARDROBE. Due to the TRULY EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF CLOTHING in your possession, Byakuren gifted you with this magical wardrobe that leads into a SPACIOUS EXTRADIMENSIONAL WALK-IN CLOSET.
The author would make a Narnia reference if he had ever read or seen any of the material related to it, but he has not, so you'll have to do without.
(http://i.imgur.com/WcfdP.png)
You have SO MANY CLOTHES, you don't even know where to begin. You're just going to start trying stuff on until you find something that suits your fancy!
You put on some of Yamame's MUSICAL STYLINGS and GET THIS PARTY STARTED.
[Ѕ] > Ichirin: FASHION MONTAGE. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEUZWi_vuIE)
[Put in your votes for what Ichirin should wear!]
-
#8
Gensokyo needs more wild west
-
Go for #8, Gensokyo definitely needs more-wait what Nazrin what are you doing there?
-
> #8 and use Nazrin as an accessory
-
Hm ... I can't decide between #9 and #11. ... I'll go with #9.
-
> #4, and my god, Stuffman, you are GLORIOUS.
> AUGHNAZRINWHAT
-
#4
and
> iosadhvfaosjhndf
-
> Choose $8 for massive stylin'.
-
> 11.
-
I must fight for #4
-
I personally really like #2, but it may send the wrong message... I'll put my vote in for #10.
-
>#9
>Give a 'kyahhh' at Sudden-Nazrin.
-
>Go with 3
>Nazrin: "It's terrible. Sorry."
-
>#8 and use Nazrin for SOMETHING.
-
>Deal with Nazrin.
>This has the fortunate side effect of staying in your current selected garb so everyone else sees how appropriate it is!
-
>Deal with Nazrin.
>This has the fortunate side effect of staying in your current selected garb so everyone else sees how appropriate it is!
I would be totally okay with 13 as well.
-
>Numba eiiiiiight
-
> #8 8)
>Numba eiiiiiight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSGWKsJCjzY&t=3s
-
> Combine #5 and #6.
> Alternatively, combine #8 and #11.
> If neither is possible, vote for second-most popular.
-
>The only correct choice is #9 with the hat from #8. #4 with the hat from #8 is an acceptable runner up.
>Ask Nazrin why she isn't knocking, but instead walking in on people while they're changing clothes.
-
>#8, but with modifications that make you look like Hazama.
>The other half of Purvis' statement.
-
> Number 11
-
I'll put my vote in for #10.
-
Hmm, I do like #9.
#8 is also good; so too is #13.
>Boot Nazrin out; added slap/brofist for simply walking in during changing.
>Stay in #13 for a bit, before changing to #9.
[I'm fine with either #9 or #13. #8 would be my 3rd option.]
-
>#13, although #8 is good too.
-
> 4. 4 always wins.
12 was tempting, though.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/S4Vda.gif)
I figured out why this is!
It's because SHE'S JUU-ISH
:moogy: ahahahahahaha
...
:colonveeplusalpha:
-
> Ask Nazrin for her opinion. She is BRUTALLY HONEST
-
Friends, Buddhists, countrywomen, lend me your ears! We must be mindful of who we are! We are the quintessential example of Buddhism in our temple! Other followers may be captains, tacticians, defensive forces, or spies, but none are the beacon of piety that we are! We are a constant reflection of Byakuren's leadership and teachings - others need only look at us to see what they could be, should they decide they wish to follow our path.
The cowgirl outfit is a lot of fun, yes! Good stuff around friends, certainly. But does it send the right message? Is that what we want all of Gensokyo to see when they gaze upon Hijiri's premiere student, one who normally dresses in a very conservative fashion? We wish to impress, not to confuse! Our position is best suited for a quiet elegance and dignity! One where people will stop to look at us and think 'wow'! This opportunity is being handed to us with outfit #4! We have a chance to look prideful yet stunning, a chance to reflect incredibly well on the Myouren ways! We must not lose sight of what is truly important! Vote for #4, an outfit that will bowl them all over with a one-two punch of tolerance and beauty!
-
I need to rewatch the catalogue to see what #4 was. After my downloads finish.
Edit: Sure #4 looks nice but chances are Iku will wear something similar and it will be better. It also seems rather impractical to dance in that.
-
I'd be up for anything in that same vein (though I'd need to watch the video again to list all of 'em and that's not an option right now), I'm mostly pushing for #4 because 4 always wins. Just ask Edible.
-
Isnt 4 and 11 too formal for a pop concert?
-
Friends, Buddhists, countrywomen, lend me your ears! We must be mindful of who we are! We are the quintessential example of Buddhism in our temple! Other followers may be captains, tacticians, defensive forces, or spies, but none are the beacon of piety that we are! We are a constant reflection of Byakuren's leadership and teachings - others need only look at us to see what they could be, should they decide they wish to follow our path.
The cowgirl outfit is a lot of fun, yes! Good stuff around friends, certainly. But does it send the right message? Is that what we want all of Gensokyo to see when they gaze upon Hijiri's premiere student, one who normally dresses in a very conservative fashion? We wish to impress, not to confuse! Our position is best suited for a quiet elegance and dignity! One where people will stop to look at us and think 'wow'! This opportunity is being handed to us with outfit #4! We have a chance to look prideful yet stunning, a chance to reflect incredibly well on the Myouren ways! We must not lose sight of what is truly important! Vote for #4, an outfit that will bowl them all over with a one-two punch of tolerance and beauty!
Only if the cowboy hat is involved. We're gonna be a trendsetter!
-
>#8. For the greater good.
>Alternatively, equip Nazrin.
There's a sweet coat, and a sweet hat in #8. 'Nuff said.
-
> Ponder what would Byakuren wear
-
Voting #13
-
>#6
-
>Just make sure you're not wearing the same thing as Unzan again; that was embarrassing.
>Alternately pick the one that's easiest to draw consistently.
-
>13
-
> #8
-
>#13 (just fits), #12 (would make sense for a concert), or #11 (formal, but relaxed). Alternatively ask Naz (who was apparently in your closet the entire time). Also doesnt purple mean we could possess Hieda at some point (Extra Stage :V)?
-
#8 wins by a wide margin, even with tumblr votes :V
> Ichirin: Deal with Nazrin.
(http://i.imgur.com/kXoLi.png)
Nazrin says hey.
She asks if she can borrow some of your CUCUMBER BIO-FUEL. You ask her what it's for. She says she needs it to power some KAPPATECH SPELUNKING EQUIPMENT for the trip to the underground today.
You tell her fine, just let you finish changing first.
Nazrin leaves your EXTRADIMENSIONAL WALK-IN CLOSET.
(http://i.imgur.com/vVFyp.png)
> Ichirin: Try outfit #8 again.
(http://i.imgur.com/JSTps.png)
You equip the TEXAS BELLE'S FINERIES. You feel yourself shift a few ticks towards RUGGED on the SOPHISTICATION AXIS of the ALIGNMENT GRID.
This tough-looking but stylish ensemble should be perfect for an oni party! You feel ready to RUSTLE UP SOME VITTLES and ROUND UP A POSSE and TELL SOME YELLOW-BELLIED VARMINTS TO REACH FOR THE SKY. You have no idea what you just said.
After getting dressed, you take a few moments to look around your closet and make sure everything is where it should be.
> Ichirin: Examine hat rack.
(http://i.imgur.com/wfJlb.png)
Like any respectable FASHION ENTHUSIAST, you have a decent collection of hats to go with your various outfits, but you wouldn't wear one just because you can. OVER-ACCESSORIZING is a common mistake! You don't see why everyone in Gensokyo is so crazy about hats. It seems like just about everyone has some kind of hat or ribbon or animal ears or whatever sitting on top of their head. It seems SILLY AND EXCESSIVE, really.
> Ichirin: Examine buddhist miko outfit.
(http://i.imgur.com/dazik.png)
Byakuren asked you to try putting this together a while ago. It's coming along nicely, but you think it still needs some work.
You hope this will help REIMU HAKUREI feel more welcome at the temple once Byakuren finally gets around to converting her. For a temple dedicated to peace between humans and youkai, it's only natural that the Hakurei Shrine Maiden should be a part of it! Reimu seems hostile now, but Byakuren is sure she'll come around eventually, since the already limited patronage at her shrine has been dwindling ever since the Myouren Temple was built.
Everything looks like it's in its place. You exit your closet.
> Ichirin: Ask Nazrin her opinion on your outfit.
(http://i.imgur.com/04BW0.png)
Nazrin looks you over for a moment.
(http://i.imgur.com/x2OHj.png)
> _
-
> Get us some Cucumber Bio-Fuel.
-
>Practice danmaku sharpshooting skills.
-
> Acknowledge that Nazrin is the best.
-
> Lead Nazrin to fuel. Grab cake. Continue about your business.
> Retrieve Unzan on the way out.
-
>Give thumbs-up Nazrin a hug for being cute and awesome.
-
> Get Approve-Narin her cucumber Bio-Fuel.
> Leave the Closet [NOT THAT WAY], being sure to lock it on the way out. We know Nazrin got in somehow, last thing we need is Nue getting in.
> Rendevous with Unzan
> Head to party, being sure to say goodbye to Murasa before you go.
-
> Don't forget Yuugi's cake.
-
> Ichirin: Give Nazrin the fuel.
(http://i.imgur.com/lHr3k.png)
You retrieve your tank of CUCUMBER BIO-FUEL from behind your bed chest, which is full of your SHAMEFULLY IMMATURE FASHION MAGAZINES. You ask Nazrin how much she'll need, and she replies that she'll probably need the whole tank, but she'll pay you back later. Whatever, she's good for it.
You mention that Former Hell is easy to get to and that she won't need to do any spelunking, but she tells you that she left something underground and that's she's using the party as an opportunity to go get it.
Nazrin adds the CUCUMBER BIO-FUEL TANK to her inventory, easily stashing the large object using her PACKRAT PERK. You don't think she even has a maximum weight limit. One time she grinded on trash mobs for a full week before she returned to town to sell the loot!
She thanks you and leaves.
> Ichirin: Grab the cake.
Oops, can't forget this! You update your inventory as well.
- 1x Golden Ring
- 5x Spellcard
- 1x Monk Outfit
- 1x Focus Sash
- 1x ??? Cake
- 2x Grape Jolly Rancher
?: 0
F$: 2
> Ichirin: Leave room.
(http://i.imgur.com/64uC3.png)
You head back into the foyer, where Shou and Nue have changed into their outfits for the party as well.
Shou says she thinks your outfit is SUPER COOL. You return the compliment, since nobody can pull off a LEOPARD PRINT SHIRT like Shou can. You think it might be a little better if she ditched the scarf, but you keep that to yourself.
Nue is dressed as SCANDALOUSLY AS USUAL. If her hemline was any higher it'd be over her neck. When you make an issue of this, Nue claims that if anyone tries to look up her skirt, her MAGICAL PANTIES will show them naught but a TWISTED REFLECTION OF THEIR DARKEST FEARS. You dare not test this claim.
You tell them you'll be back in a minute.
> Ichirin: Get Unzan.
You return to find Kyouko putting the finishing touches on her sweeping. You tell her that's good enough and that she should go get ready.
(http://i.imgur.com/jPSAi.png)
Since she's a mountain youkai, you wonder if she has anything to wear and if you should ask her if she wants to borrow some of your clothes, but she's already off before you get the chance.
Despite your RELATIVELY CONSERVATIVE CHOICE OF OUTFIT, Unzan still gives you a hard time.
(http://i.imgur.com/C2ZWM.png)
DO UP THAT TOP BUTTON ON YOUR SHIRT MISSY NO PARTNER OF MINE IS LEAVING THE TEMPLE DRESSED LIKE THAT
(http://i.imgur.com/93C14.png)
OH MY GOD UNZAN YOU'RE NOT MY DAD I'M A GROWN WOMAN I CAN DRESS HOWEVER I WANT
(http://i.imgur.com/C2ZWM.png)
I THINK YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT TOO MUCH WITH THAT NUE HOUJUU SHE'S A BAD INFLUENCE ON YOU
(http://i.imgur.com/93C14.png)
SHE'S NOT A BAD INFLUENCE well okay I guess she is BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT
(http://i.imgur.com/4qeZ5.png)
You eventually cave, like you always do. There's just no arguing with a traditional old man like Unzan.
> Ichirin: Visit Minamitsu.
You decide to say hi to her before you leave, and maybe try to convince her to go, although you doubt she will.
(http://i.imgur.com/7HNP8.png)
You head over to Minamitsu's shed, where she spends most of her time lately working on her shipbuilding project. Minamitsu hasn't really been the same ever since you disassembled the palanquin to build the temple; in retrospect, it might not have been such a good idea to take away a ship ghost's ship. Although she claimed it didn't bother her, she was pretty moody for a few weeks afterward. Byakuren even started wondering if she had made a mistake.
Then all of a sudden Minamitsu started work on this! She's pretty obsessive about it and won't let anyone help her with it. She insists everything has to be "done right". Unzan says not to worry about it, because there comes a time in every man's life when he must create something for himself (dismissing the fact that she is neither a man nor alive).
(http://i.imgur.com/wbpKz.png)
You greet Minamitsu, and she responds to both you and Unzan in kind. She says nice hat.
> _
-
>Attempt to convince the ghost to join us.
-
>Reminisce fondly upon Shou's bellybutton.
>Edible: Post shitty mspaint recolor of cute thumbsup nazrin. (http://i.imgur.com/XKPJH.gif)
-
>Ask how the work is going.
-
>Caution her that smoking is bad for.... Never mind, ghost.
-
her MAGICAL PANTIES will show them naught but a TWISTED REFLECTION OF THEIR DARKEST FEARS. You dare not test this claim.
Oh Ichirin, how could you forget Nue's power of Unknown? She can make herself appear like anything, based on the minds of other people, so I'm sure a short skirt is no problem for her.
> Check that everything is OK. She might not want help, but I'm sure if there's something she needs underground she'll be happy for us to get it on the way back.
> Ask if she has seen Byakuren around, because the most profilic temple member is the one you've not even seen today yet.
> Might as well ask about Mamizou too, although Nue might have been better for that.
-
> Compliment her jauntily-angled hat in return.
-
> Ask if she'll have room for 2 of every animal.
-
> Wonder where Nue got such a piece if she's so adamant about not having prankable personal possessions.
> Why didn't we tell Shou where Nazrin was?
-
> Wonder where Nue got such a piece if she's so adamant about not having prankable personal possessions.
> Shapechanging, no doubt.
-
>If acquiring ghost fails, thank her for the cake.
-
> Ichirin: Compliment Minamitsu's hat in return.
Nah, you know her better than that. She'd just say "this is the hat I wear everyday" and you'd have to say "well it's still a good hat" and that would be saying something pointless to be nice, and Minamitsu hates it when people say pointless things to be nice.
She won't tell anyone how her hat stays on her head like that. It's one of her many secrets. Everyone in the temple has their own theories on it; you suspect it is some kind of ghost hat, but you're not sure how a hat could die in order to become a ghost.
> Ichirin: Ask Minamitsu why she's not going to the party.
(http://i.imgur.com/y9xAs.png)
She says she'd rather use the day off to work on her boat, and besides, if she went, then somebody else would have to stay behind to watch the temple (which is true).
You get the sense that what she's telling you isn't the real reason, but you think you know why. Minamitsu probably doesn't want to go to the underground again anytime soon. Out of all of Byakuren's followers, she hated being trapped down there the most.
You decide not to press the issue.
> Ichirin: Ask about the boat.
(http://i.imgur.com/P59Ph.png)
She says the hardest part is already done and that it'll start going a lot faster now that the beams are set. It's really impressive that she's doing this all by herself, when you think about it.
It's pretty big, too! Nowhere near as big as the palanquin was, of course, but this is definitely more than a one-person ship. Minamitsu won't settle for a boat she can't properly call herself the captain of.
> Ichirin: Thank Minamitsu for the cake.
(http://i.imgur.com/BFoiU.png)
Cake?
She has no idea what you're talking about.
> Ichirin: Check cake.
You cautiously open the box and taste the suspicious cake.
(http://i.imgur.com/elcjF.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/zle5b.png)
This is a BOILED SOYBEAN CAKE! Oni hate this stuff! It would've been terrible if you handed this off to Yuugi!
NICE TRY, NUE.
> Ichirin: Remember you didn't tell Shou about Nazrin.
Oh, right! Well, it's okay, since now you know Nazrin is going to the party with you (even if she'll be occupied doing something else). No worries.
> Ichirin: Wonder if Byakuren and Mamizou are ready.
Byakuren is taking care of her temple-related duties and should be done shortly. She shouldn't need any extra time to get ready since she's going to the party in her usual outfit; she wants to represent the temple and possibly talk some youkai from the underground into visiting.
You haven't seen Mamizou yet today, so you ask Minamitsu about her. She says Mamizou stopped by this morning to ask if there were any good bottles of sake to bring to the party, and that Minamitsu reminded her that there were, until Mamizou drank them.
Mamizou said something about having to go get some more and left.
You'll see her when you see her, you guess.
> Ichirin: Return to living area.
You'd better check back in case they're waiting for you. Minamitsu tells you to have fun, and you tell her not to work too hard.
> _
-
> Wave farewell to Murasa and head to the living area.
-
>Look out for any visitors... or intruders.
-
>Two-frame bluh animation loop!
-
> Ponder the possibility of your RIVAL IN STYLE also coming to the party
-
> If Nue is in room, have Unzan scold her for attempting to make Oni mad at Ichirin, and how dangerous mad, drunken Oni could be to EVERYONE, includeing her.
-
> Find sake of our own to take to the party
-
Byakuren is taking care of her temple-related duties and should be done shortly.
> Byakuren: Namusan.
-
> When you get to Shou and Nue, glare at Nue until she feels guilty of herself.
-
> Hold up on the glaring. How counter to our teachings would it be to counterprank Nue? Say, perhaps, by getting Yuugi to along with a loud and obvious proclamation of the wonder of the cake and how Minamitsu simply must be thanked for making it?
-
> Hold up on the glaring. How counter to our teachings would it be to counterprank Nue? Say, perhaps, by getting Yuugi to along with a loud and obvious proclamation of the wonder of the cake and how Minamitsu simply must be thanked for making it?
> When you get to Shou and Nue, glare at Nue until she feels guilty of herself.
> Hatch some extremley convoluted plan to get back at Nue that involves Kyouko in some way. And do it in a way that won't get you in trouble.
-
> When you get to Shou and Nue, glare at Nue until she feels guilty of herself.
> Hatch some extremley convoluted plan to get back at Nue that involves Kyouko in some way. And do it in a way that won't get you in trouble.
Stop with the stupid ideas that will get us killed.
-
Stop with the stupid ideas that will get us killed.
Ichirin and Unzan are above Nue in the Myouren power rateing chart.
-
Follow Kilga's hypothetical plan and not Elephant's because counter-prank is most amusing move considering Nue's measures against direct counterpranking.
> Go get an actual cake suitable for oni-kind. That is, a sake cake.
-
Agreeing with Kilga/Drake's plan.
-
> Byakuren: Namusan.
(http://i.imgur.com/fKQ6Z.png)
> Ichirin: Wonder if you have any FASHION RIVALS.
While there's an outside chance you won't be the best-dressed at the party, you won't worry about it too much. Fashion is not a good field for competition; trying too hard to outdo everybody else only winds up with you wearing the most OUTLANDISH OUTFITS IMAGINABLE. You learned this lesson the hard way when you first wore your experimental RING DRESS.
(http://i.imgur.com/arhyQ.png)
Never again.
> Unzan: Get ready to give Nue an earful.
You are going to give that Nue Houjuu SUCH A SCOLDING. You are going to SCOLD HER so bad! She better pack up her wagon and grab her mining helmet because she's headed straight for a CALIFORNIA SCOLD RUSH.
(http://i.imgur.com/YLdqz.png)
Yes. You definitely won't chicken out this time. Sure, you hate attention, and the idea of making a scene makes your mustache curl, but by golly does that girl need it. You will definitely, definitely scold her.
...Eventually. You know. When the time is right.
> Ichirin: Hatch devious counterprank plan.
As long as there's no harm done, it wouldn't hurt to mess with Nue's head a bit. Why not give Yuugi a real cake in the same box and get her to say how good it is?
(http://i.imgur.com/xpjS6.png)
If only you could acquire some sort of DELICIOUS BOOZECAKE to give to Yuugi instead of the VILE SOYCAKE. But where will you acquire such a thing on short notice?
(http://i.imgur.com/C5OKw.png)
On the way back to the temple, you cross Mamizou's path. Looks like she's back, with a whole crate of sake no less! Probably as much for herself as for the party.
> _
-
> Ask Mamizou if she knows where we can acquire a Sake Cake.
-
> What is Mamizou's position on ear scritches?
-
> Ask Mamizou if she knows where we can acquire a Sake Cake.
>If no then evaluate own baking skills (as well as those of anyone you can trust/owes you a favor), and if you may have time to prepare one.
-
> How likely is Mamizou to spill the beans to Nue if she even begins suspecting we're trying to mess with Nue's head?
-
> Maybe a quick trip to one of the neighbours could produce a sake cake. Who lives nearby?
-
>Resist urge to make Sake Cake rhyme by pronouncing "sake" as in "for her sake", or cake as "cah-kay".
-
>Resist urge to make Sake Cake rhyme by pronouncing "sake" as in "for her sake", or cake as "cah-kay".
> It's obviously called a Sa-cake.
-
> See if anybody would appreciate the fake sa-cake.
-
> See if anybody would appreciate the fake sa-cake.
> Don't do this, Nue will surely get wind of what we're up to that way!
-
> Jeeze just borrow some sake and bake our own sa-cake.
-
> Wonder how Nue even managed to make something resembling a decent cake.
-
>Maybe it's not even cake, but something else entirely that she just disguised.
>Shudder.
-
>Maybe it's not even cake, but something else entirely that she just disguised.
>Shudder.
> What if Unzan is Nue in disguise? That'd explain how she's so on top of our every move!
> Put on tinfoil hat.
-
Baking a cake is just playing into Nue's hands. It means we spent extra money and/or effort due to her pranks.
The correct answer is to find a way to saddle her with it.
-
Maybe Nue's real prank all along is to make us think too hard about how to counterprank her. If we're assuming she's truly a master prankster then all plans to counterprank have to account for her accounting for a counterprank, and therefore impossible to predict.
goddamn it's like i'm playing mafia
EDIT: i'm joking by the way
-
It's Nue we're dealing with, not Tewi. She's not that good.
-
Baking a cake is just playing into Nue's hands. It means we spent extra money and/or effort due to her pranks.
Effort is effort, and hard work is rewarded. If we're all the more popular through cake-baking, then I'm sure Nue would be as annoyed as she would have been through a well-executed counterprank that nobody seems to be able to come up with anyway.
-
> Do we even have time to make a cake?
-
It's Nue we're dealing with, not Tewi. She's not that good.
Tewi digs holes and drops washbins on heads. Nue was about to kill a Deva with a cake.
-
> Ichirin: Resist urge to scritch Mamizou's ears.
Mamizou doesn't like that! She is totally okay with having her tail be mofumofu'd, though. But you won't do that right now since she's carrying a crate that looks pretty heavy.
> Ichirin: Consider establishing counterprank conspiracy with Mamizou.
Too risky!! While Mamizou and Nue certainly aren't above pranking each other, she could just as easily play you right into Nue's hands, or maybe even throw both of you under the bus to score a 2x PRANK COMBO.
(http://i.imgur.com/iUzde.png)
Mamizou asks you if everyone's getting ready to leave. You tell her that you'll probably be leaving within the hour. Mamizou says good, she's not running late then.
Mamizou says she likes your outfit and that you should get a matching hat for Unzan.
(http://i.imgur.com/qVrW4.png)
YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. But this is the only cowboy hat you have. How unfortunate! You'll have to keep this in mind next time you go hat shopping.
You tell Mamizou that you just need to take care of something real quick and that you'll be along in a minute. She nods and heads inside.
> Ichirin: Try to figure out how to get a sake cake.
There's not enough time to bake one. Even if there was, you're not a good enough cook to make it delicious enough that you're certain it will please Yuugi.
The temple is near the human village, so you could buy a cake from the bakery there. But they're not likely to have something like a sake cake onhand, and it's not like you can just dump the sake in the cake.
(http://i.imgur.com/Jdo4k.png)
You can't think of anywhere you could get an object as unusual as a sake cake on short notice! It was a good idea, but it looks like you'll have to just let this one go.
(http://i.imgur.com/MiyLG.png)
SUDDENLY!
(http://i.imgur.com/dMFb1.png)
A girl in a strange dress appears in a puff of smoke! She informs you that she is PASTEL KUCHEN GATEAU, a whisk tsukumogami with the ABILITY TO MANIPULATE CAKE. She says that she has been summoned here by your HEARTFELT WISH for a DELICIOUS CAKE!
(http://i.imgur.com/zVMCg.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Gya1i.png)
She uses her magic wand on the BOILED SOYBEAN CAKE, transforming it into a SAKE CAKE fit for a Deva! It even has one of those neat little cocktail umbrellas.
(http://i.imgur.com/eUs1U.png)
You try to find the words to thank Pastel, but before you get the chance, she tells you that she must be off, and flies into the sunset (despite the fact that it is 10 AM). "Remember, always save the biggest piece for last!" Her words echo in your heart.
Farewell, whisk tsukumogami - we'll never forget your kindness. You add the SAKE CAKE to your inventory.
> _
-
> Hooray for convenience!
> Finish any last-minute preparations.
-
Oh hell yes.
Now what else did we need to do before leaving?
-
>Hope that Pastel will visit the temple someday.
-
ilu stuffman
-
> Praise Byakuren for the miracle of the fortunate meeting with Pastel.
-
Not to be ungrateful to Pastel but...
>Check cake again, that's right up Nue's alley for tricks to pull...
>See if you have any other possible hat options for unzan
Also: intros go till the party goes awry, then switches to next characters intro?
-
>Check cake again, that's right up Nue's alley for tricks to pull...
> Good point.
[edit] > Oh and start moseying.
-
> Firmly establish Pastel in Stuffcanon.
-
> Firmly establish Pastel in touhou canon.
I'm calling ZUN right now.
;_; The majesty...
-
> Ichirin: Test the cake.
That was convenient. A little too convenient. You better test this cake too.
(http://i.imgur.com/JXDeB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/s0mjP.png)
Oh my goodness it is JUST WONDERFUL. Today you have truly been touched by an angel. A cake angel.
> Stuffman: Firmly establish Pastel in Stuffcanon.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vtpm6.png)
Sure, why not? She's no less ridiculous than the rest of these clowns. I'll put her right at the top of the list.
> Ichirin: Go back inside.
Convinced that your good-natured prank is now foolproof, you head back into the temple living area.
(http://i.imgur.com/7BUFu.png)
You show up just in time to see Kyouko come out of her room. Looks like she's going with a yukata, and she's somehow managed to do up her INCREDIBLY MESSY HAIR in curls. She looks just darling!
(http://i.imgur.com/rjw3Z.png)
Oh no! Kyouko's moe is too strong! Shou feels compelled to ruffle her hair!
(http://i.imgur.com/VT1BX.png)
Shou fails to resist the urge! She's going to ruin Kyouko's curls!!
(http://i.imgur.com/1ky9c.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/GwYU4.png)
Mamizou arrives in the nick of time, and disarms Shou by allowing her to mofumofu her tail. That was close!
> _
[ Next update we'll leave for the party, I need to get to bed though :V ]
-
I just died reading this update. I am slain.
>Register MOFUMOFU BARRIER in list of summon abilities.
-
>Give Mamizou a thumbs up.
-
>Direct Unzan to perform a tag-team MOFUMOFU-ING with Shou on Mamizou's nice fluffy tail.
-
>Direct Unzan to perform a tag-team MOFUMOFU-ING with Shou on Mamizou's nice fluffy tail.
> Unzan is too cool to mofu.
> Give Shou a judgmental stare. A good buddhist can keep their mofurges in check.
-
> Time to party it up~
So far everything that's happening is post-Yukariderp, right?
-
So far everything that's happening is post-Yukariderp, right?
This has been quite clearly stated to be the leadup the the derp.
-
So we went back in time to try and prevent it from happening? OMG TEH MINDSCREW! :V
-
So we went back in time to try and prevent it from happening? OMG TEH MINDSCREW! :V
No.
No, we didn't, this is a flashback.
How could you even think that?
-
A flashback just means there's massive railroading up to the event of the derping. And since what we do now won't change a major future event, the minor actions we take such as the soy/sake cake have implications that my head isn't thinking too much about.
-
Actually, there's all kinds of way pre-event actions can influence post event things quite a bit. Don't worry about it too much, things will happen as they do.
-
The derp will likely happen at a certain point, regardless of what we do. What we do now will influence what we can do after.
I mean, look at our outift in the first post and look at it now! :D
-
The derp will likely happen at a certain point, regardless of what we do. What we do now will influence what we can do after.
I mean, look at our outift in the first post and look at it now! :D
Yeah, the derp is probobly inevitable.
> Recall how often Shou's Mofumofu tendancies show up.
> Recall what she used to Mofumofu before Mamizou was around.
-
Yukari's derp is indeed inevitable.
Our four purple-haired heroines (+Unzan) have wound up together for reasons currently unexplained, and are discussing what they saw prior to the derp (along with the rest of the day leading up to it).
The purpose of this prologue is to characterize each girl and build up their backstory, to establish a few subplot threads, and for me to get a feel for the format in a casual atmosphere before diving into the adventure proper.
-
Can't wait to see this develop :V
So are we switching over, or do we get moar traditional old man action?
-
Guessing we'll be switching once Yukari gets epic drunk (hopefully not from the sacake, otherwise we screwed up nicely almost immediately there) and delete's Gensokyo's system32 file (if you don't understand, this means that she severely screws everything up). Assuming this because this flashback is supposed to be our heroes describing what they remember leading up to the events. Also I'd assume Shou mofu'd Nazrin's hair until Mamizou popped up. Back to story though...
>Get moving (talking to shou about mofumofu can be a good conversation to start your noble quest for booze, music, and party).
-
and delete's Gensokyo's system32 file (if you don't understand, this means that she severely screws everything up).
Thanks for explaining your joke, it was pretty funny before that, and we can't have that, can we? :V
> Last-minute prank check, has Nue moved at all during the mofu-affair?
-
> Ichirin: Consider learning MOFUMOFU BARRIER.
The MOFUMOFUTECH SKILL TREE is very expensive to buy without the appropriate RACIAL SYNERGIES, even if it's only for TEAM BRANCHES. It's really only viable for BEAST YOUKAI; you'd have to significantly rework your SKILL THICKET to plant a MOFUMOFUTECH SKILL TREE in it, and you don't want to mess up the solid patch of EXPERIENCE MOSS you have growing.
> Ichirin: Give Shou a judgmental stare.
Nazrin's on it.
(http://i.imgur.com/O84KD.png)
Shou is a tiger youkai, and as such, she tends to fall easily to her PREDATORY INSTINCTS. Whenever she wants something, she cannot resist the urge to take it by force! Paradoxically, the TEACHINGS OF BISHAMONTEN also drive her towards GENEROSITY, meaning she often gives away the things she takes. Shou sure is weird!
> Ichirin: Keep an eye on Nue.
She hasn't budged. Don't worry about it, anyway! The cake is stashed safe in your INVENTORY where Nue cannot see or access it. At least you're pretty sure she can't. She could have some kind of CLASS FEATURE that lets her do that, who knows.
All this pranking business sure is making you paranoid! You wonder how Nue can handle this on a day-to-day basis.
(http://i.imgur.com/FBHPb.png)
Suddenly, Byakuren appears! She apologizes for keeping everyone waiting.
Byakuren tells you that she'll be representing the Myouren Temple and for the rest of you to just have fun at the party, but that you should keep in mind that people will judge the temple by its members. Most of you have plenty of experience with the oni, so it shouldn't be a problem.
Everyone confirms that they're ready to leave, so you all take to the air together and make your way towards the entrance to the underground!
~
It'll take a little time to get there, so why don't we kill some time with somebody else?
> Be Yukari.
(http://i.imgur.com/Z2IYN.png)
You are YUKARI YAKUMO, MASTERMIND BEHIND THE SPIRITING AWAY. You are a very old beautiful and powerful youkai that has been around since Gensokyo was sealed off by the HAKUREI BORDER. You make it your business to see that the STATUS QUO in your beloved Gensokyo is kept, keeping it safe from outside forces, although this task has become SIGNIFICANTLY MORE COMPLICATED in recent years.
You enjoy fine alcohol, Machiavellian plots, and hassling Hakurei shrine maidens. You are disliked by JUST ABOUT EVERYONE, which in your mind only serves to indicate that you are doing your job properly.
You possess what is arguably the most powerful ability in Gensokyo, the ABILITY TO MANIPULATE BOUNDARIES. Your control over this NEBULOUS CONCEPT not only allows you to pass through the tiniest of cracks in the fabric of space with ease, but to do anything as long as you can think of its opposite. However, in truth your ability is just gravy; your real strength is your exceptional cunning. You get most of your work done by manipulating others into doing it for you. You just happen to back it up with some of the most TERRIFYING DANMAKU IN GENSOKYO. You're sort of like Superman and Batman rolled together. You're just that awesome.
(http://i.imgur.com/t2CTb.png)
Well, usually, anyway. A youkai of your age status needs her beauty sleep!
(http://i.imgur.com/UO3Ch.png)
Your shikigami RAN YAKUMO tries to wake you up. You tell her to go away. Ran tells you that you told her to wake you up early for the party today!
(http://i.imgur.com/afOQD.png)
You tell her you meant like ten minutes early, not two hours early. Waking up at 10 AM? What the hell is this, boot camp?
The nudgings do not cease.
> _
-
> Edible: Quick MSpaint color of youareadisgrace.png, Shou optional.
> Yukari: Gap to another bed. You've got to have another bed or five, right?
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>Bordertech: Shikigami's Shikigami atop Shikigami
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> Gap Ran's tails to be pillows for the new bed.
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> Hit Ran's snooze button
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> Shock option!
> Be responsible for once and WAKE UP!
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> Consider the possibility of calling Chen over to dispel her.
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>Retrieve boundaries from... wait.
>Break the fourth wall and figure out the plot.
>Tell Ran to stop nudging us and go sort out Chen; we'll get up once she leaves.
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>Sleepily threaten to gap Ran into a hair remover plant.
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>We are our own person!! WE decide when we wake up!!
>So open two gaps so Ran's nudges go through a portal and end up poking her own head. Problemsolved.png
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>So open two gaps so Ran's nudges go through a portal and end up poking her own head. Problemsolved.png
>This.
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> Gap her ears onto your head
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Well we do need to make sure that the story keeps moving so we'll have to get up (still agree with Orin on making her poke her own head)...
>Gap yourself into an upright position, and estimate how long it would take you to get ready for the party (since traveling would likely take about 5 seconds, it hardly matters).
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>Besides, isn't turning up "fashionably late" for a party considered... well... fashionable?
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>Besides, isn't turning up "fashionably late" for a party considered... well... fashionable?
> No it is called lazy you lazy bum now get up :|
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Fight For Everlasting Peace, PurpleQuest.
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You fools! As long as Yukari's purple eyes are closed, we cannot
command guide her.
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> Byakuren: Namusan.
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> Yukari: Consider options.
A variety of countermeasures cross your mind, but Ran has been putting up with your bullshit for a very long time and it is difficult to judge if any of them will be effective.
You choose to employ all of the above.
> Yukari: BORDERTECH - KITCHEN SINK.
(http://i.imgur.com/UGitK.png)
You gap the broom into the back of Ran's head, providing a CEASE IN NUDGINGS.
(http://i.imgur.com/9mmRf.png)
Ran attempts to retrieve the broom. You complicate this matter by attaching her SHIKIGAMI, CHEN to it.
(http://i.imgur.com/82ZSu.png)
While Ran tries to release Chen from the gap, you knock her hat off her head.
(http://i.imgur.com/mnJE9.png)
Ran moves to replace her PRECIOUS HEADGEAR, but you steal her ears to prevent it from standing up properly.
(http://i.imgur.com/MylyK.png)
Your shikigami points out that over the course of this exchange, you have removed yourself from your bed.
> Yukari: Throw down your pillow in disgust.
(http://i.imgur.com/Fda44.png)
Damnit! Why did you have to pick the WORLD'S SMARTEST BEAST YOUKAI to be your shikigami!?
(http://i.imgur.com/sh0Nk.gif)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhgjGCtzu6U) ]
You guess you might as well get up now. Your best friend YUYUKO SAIGYOUJI will be expecting you to take her to the party, so you'll need to be ready before her, anyway.
> _
-
>Request breakfast (?) from smug-ass shikigami whilst you gap into something more appropriate.
-
Anyone else think Yukari had an InuYasha vibe going when she had Ran's ears?
>Vow a comedic revenge on Ran for foiling our plans for laziness yet again.
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> Ask Ran to make a needlessly large and complicated breakfast
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>Give Ran a treat. She won this round fair and square. There will be others.
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> Yukari: Demand breakfast.
You tell Ran to make breakfast, and that it better be the best damn breakfast you've ever had in your life.
(http://i.imgur.com/TYJjg.png)
She returns to her usual business-like manner and acknowledges your order.
In the meantime, you suppose you should wash up and get dressed.
> Yukari: FASHION MONTAGE.
(http://i.imgur.com/i3sZn.png)
Left or right?
> Yukari: Left.
You decide to go with your SEXY PURPLE COCKTAIL DRESS, the obvious best choice for a party.
(http://i.imgur.com/Dqrva.png)
The COMMAND INTERPRETER throws a TIME PARADOX ERROR! The COMMAND INTERPRETER will not allow you to enter commands that would cause a conflict with known future events. Looks like you're forced to pick the other one.
> Yukari: Right.
You choose your BALLROOM CHEONGSAM for some reason.
But first, you need to take a bath. You head over to your bathroom for a LONG AND LOVINGLY DETAILED UNDRESSING SCENE.
> Be Ichirin again.
(http://i.imgur.com/682m5.png)
Nearing your goal of FORMER HELL, your group has run afoul of a BRIDGE TROLL!
She informs you that this is HER BRIDGE and that she's not letting A SINGLE PERSON ACROSS without a fight! Judging by the apparent number of VERY RECENT BEATINGS she has suffered, she seems prepared to make good on her (questionable) threat.
(http://i.imgur.com/cqSLB.png)
You may select up to THREE PARTY MEMBERS to assist you in the INCOMING BOSS BATTLE (although you could probably win by yourself).
> _
-
Not really bothered about who gets picked...
>Vote Mamizou.
>Vote Byakuren.
But I'd love to see Mamizou involved~ <3
And Byakuren because... well, because NAMUSAN! :V
EDIT: Ignore this; see latest post~]
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> Nazarin, because she's Nazarin.
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We can get Byakyuren to assist? Isn't she still back at the shrine? ??? and ichirin comes for free?
>Voting Shou, Mamizou, and Nue (Shou, and Mamizou are powerful, while Nue is good for mindf**k). Maybe Nazrin instead of Nue because I wouldn't really trust Nue having my back (not unless it was strapped with c4 before she kicked me into the enemy and pushed the trigger). See the alignment chart on page 3 if you're wondering why...
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>Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
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>Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
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>Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
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> Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
(> If that doesn't work, select Shou, Mamizou, and Nue. Don't select Byakuren, she's here on business and it would not do for her to get involved in such a ruckus.)
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> For the sake of being strategically awesome. Have Nue do Unidentified Darkness while Shou fires as many curvy lasers as possible. And while the bridge troll is overwhelmed, Fist Smash that girl like there is no tomorrow. Pray you land on the Sixth Aspect, no lest.
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> Byakuren, Nue, and Mamizou.
-
You guys are sissies.
> Go solo.
-
> go solo
touhou rules dictate that when we smack her down there will be tea afterward
ichirin does not share tea
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> Nay we shall share tea like Byakuren's graceful teachings
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>Ask Byakuren to pacify her, then invite to party. If that fails, we show her the depths of her folly by taking her on solo.
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>Ask Byakuren to pacify her, then invite to party.
>If that fails, party with Nazrin and Kyouko in order to balance XP levels across your playable characters.
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>If that fails, party with Nazrin and Kyouko in order to balance XP levels across your playable characters.
if this happens
>fourth-slot shou for insurance
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>Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
> Alternatively, have Nazrin run interference to avoid the boss battle.
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> Byakuren, pacify, etc.
> Failing that: Nue, Nazrin, Byakuren.
> Byakuren: Namusan.
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> Byakuren: Nnnnnaaaaaa- nah.
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>Shou Nazrin Byakuren
I thought we hated Nue?
-
We must hate Byakuren more if we're picking her to get involved in a fight when she's here on business for the Temple. Her actions more than ours will reflect on the ways of Myouren. Why do we think it's a good idea to get our leader involved in pointless violence?
-
But the point is to get Byakuren to pacify Parsee, not attack her.
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>Byakuren: Attack her.
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>It looks like a stiff wind could knock over this bridge troll. Let's just talk her down - preferably with benevolence, but using Nazrin's judgmental glare as an emergency option, with actual combat as a distant third.
-
Yeah, thinking about it more... ignore my previous actions.
>Assist Byakuren in talking her down.
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> Prove your worth by soloing
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> SOLOMID ELSE I FEED!
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> SOLOMID ELSE I FEED!
>This
-
oh hey we're a warrior monk
> Inspect other party member's classes
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> go in with kyouko, nue, mamizou, feed parsee mad kills
>Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
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>See who is more likely to be an item of jealousy and team up with them. Taking the aggravation tactic!!
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>Ask Mamizou to transform into Parsee herself. Have Unzan throw Nue at Parsee while she's confused. VICTOLY!
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> Ichirin: Check everyone's classes.
(http://i.imgur.com/ft2uF.png)
Kyouko changed class from Mountaineer to Priestess when she joined the temple and doesn't have many abilities yet.
Byakuren has a PRESTIGE CLASS. These classes have unique, hidden SKILL TREES that cannot be accessed manually. The prerequisites are mysterious, but you suspect them to be something like "BE LIKE BYAKUREN".
Everyone else is pretty straightforward. Except Mamizou. You don't know what the hell is going on with her build.
> Ichirin: Get Byakuren to pacify the bridge troll, and invite her to the party.
(http://i.imgur.com/MCyhS.png)
You tell Shou to hold her fire. You've got a better idea.
You ask Byakuren what she wants to do. She knows exactly what you're getting at.
> Byakuren: Namusan.
(http://i.imgur.com/WyHPs.png)
> Ichirin: Watch.
(http://i.imgur.com/IAsH9.png)
Byakuren takes the job, and approaches the troll.
(http://i.imgur.com/JKSi6.png)
Byakuren uses a healing spell.
(http://i.imgur.com/WJ2jx.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/6cslZ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/7uei3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/UEhvS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/X39cr.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/4Pesn.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/xIfq0.png)
The troll GTFOs.
> _
( For anyone who has not had the benefit of reading Chirei De (http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/946256/2girls-absurdres-anger_vein-blonde_hair-bridge-com) )
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> Onwards!
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>Thank Byakuren for trying. Truly, she is a saint amongst mere mortals.
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>Whilst proceeding, make sure Parsee didn't drop anything in her mad dash.
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> Tend to Byakuren's nosebleed
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> Tell Byakuren to heal her nose.
> Check everyone's skills.
> Wonder how to obtain Shapeshifter Class without being Nue. Maybe changeing Unzan's shape?
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> Wonder how to obtain Shapeshifter Class without being Nue. Maybe changeing Unzan's shape?
why would you want to change your class when Warrior Monk is best class?
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> Ichirin: Be like Byakuren.
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> Saint? Isn't Fgsfds Taoface technically one of those too?
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Yeah, but she's a phony, while Byakuren's the real deal.
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> Hug Byakuren. :D
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> Tend to Byakuren's nosebleed
>Whilst proceeding, make sure Parsee didn't drop anything in her mad dash.
Both of these.
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>Group hug with Byakuren!
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>Group hug with Byakuren!
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>Group hug with Byakuren!
>Add this to my command post.
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> Ichirin: Tell Mamizou to tell Byakuren to "Pop it, Lock it, instant Jules Winnfield (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulp_Fiction)."
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> Ichirin: Check everyone's skills.
That would take forever, so you just take a quick look at your own SKILL THICKET.
(http://i.imgur.com/hsT6N.png)
Your SKILL THICKET is pretty straightforward and nicely organized.
The RACE STONES in one's SKILL THICKET alter the cost of various SKILL TREES. Some SKILL TREES, such as Nue's SHAPETECH, are basically unaffordable without a relevant RACE STONE. You can't do anything to these stones, but they will automatically update if you somehow change your race. Being a normal human-shaped YOUKAI, you don't have many particular racial specializations.
EXPERIENCE MOSS grows when you don't fiddle around with your build by MULCHING BRANCHES from your SKILL TREES for a while. You've been very diligent with planning your build, so you have FULL MOSS, granting you a modest EXPERIENCE RATE BOOST.
BUDDHATECH is your main SKILL TREE, naturally, although it's not your oldest one. You're as advanced as Shou in it! Won't be long before you unlock the THREE JEWELS skillset, now.
DUOTECH is the SKILL TREE involved with having two party members function as one. It costs a lot of points and both members need to have it, but it makes you more powerful than a normal character of your level, although it does mean you and Unzan can't take individual turns. This is fine, since you usually have enough allies to fill the party anyway.
A neat feature of DUOTECH is that if you and Unzan get separated, you can join with anyone else that has DUOTECH, not just each other.
The two of you can split up and act on your own turns if you choose, but you're stronger together since you've both invested so heavily in this tree. In fact, you fully intend to put even more points into it, but before you can go any higher you need to have some more SKILL TREES besides DUOTECH in common. That's why Unzan has started on BUDDHATECH, while you're working on FISTTECH. When you master this, you'll be able to use all your skills twice per turn!
Your FISTTECH SKILL TREE has a long way to go, but Shou and Minamitsu have been helping you train your physical skills, so it should start becoming more robust shortly. You've gotten a nice HP boost, at least.
The last SKILL TREE you have is a FASHIONTECH SAPLING. You don't have any points in it, but it was much cheaper to plant than most SKILL SAPLINGS, so you did it to gain the FASHION SENSE and INSTANT OUTFIT CHANGE passives that come with it.
Investing further in FASHIONTECH would grant you abilities such as using your clothes as a weapon or gaining powers based on your current outfit. This sounds INCREDIBLY FUN, but Nazrin looked the tree over and did the numbers and insisted that it is a suboptimal choice.
(http://i.imgur.com/nSYsX.png)
Oh well. Maybe they'll buff it in a later patch.
> Ichirin: Wonder if Miko is a Saint too.
You're pretty sure her sainthood is just a historical thing, and not even an accurate one, since she was actually a Taoist all along! You don't know what her class is, and you don't really care.
(http://i.imgur.com/vxZzR.png)
> Ichirin: Be like Byakuren.
That's pretty much what you're already trying to do 24/7.
> Ichirin: Group hug.
(http://i.imgur.com/mqTra.png)
You all gather round to comfort Byakuren, although a wound like this will heal pretty much instantly for her. Her magic-enhanced body is very sturdy.
Byakuren tells you that she is glad you gave peace a chance. You feel happy to receive Byakuren's praise, which is far more valuable than any amount of EXPERIENCE POINTS.
> Unzan: See if the troll dropped anything.
(http://i.imgur.com/zqAxb.png)
While the girls are busy TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS and whatnot, you notice what appears to be a note scribbled on a cocktail napkin.
> Unzan: Read.
(http://i.imgur.com/wzF9S.png)
According to this NAPKIN-SCRAWLED FRIENDLY THREATENING LETTER, the troll, PARSEE, is an acquaintance of YUUGI HOSHIGUMA herself. However, she seems to have gone against Yuugi's request and elected to FIGHT OFF every visitor she encountered instead. What an ungracious friend! She needs a THOROUGH SCOLDING.
Maybe you'll see her at the party if Yuugi intends to make good on her threat (HINT: Oni always make good on their threats).
> Ichirin: Get to the party!
It doesn't take long to reach Former Hell from the bridge.
(http://i.imgur.com/0QnFr.png)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_5qYH903Y4) ]
You've finally arrived, and BOY HOWDY, is that a huge party! With the number of people that have come and all the stands set up in the street, it's really more like a big festival. You can even see the stage they've set up for Yamame to perform on!
You are TOTALLY PSYCHED. What to do first!?
> _
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> YamaMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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>Seek out the fried foods. Oni practically live on those, right?
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> Ichirin: Ask a party member if they can backtrack to find the bridge troll to inform her about the letter. If it's Unzan, it wouldn't matter as:
A neat feature of DUOTECH is that if you and Unzan get separated, you can join with anyone else that has DUOTECH, not just each other.
(in unrelated matters, i am surprised seiga didn't get the dreamcast joke.)
-
> Abrupt character switch
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>Go forth and purchase takoyaki for our merry group.
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> Don't forget our manners when greeting oni and youkai.
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> Who else has Duotech?
> Wonder why you never recive freindly threatening letters.
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>Nazrin needs an outfit for the party. Make it so.
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>Seek out the fried foods. Oni practically live on those, right?
> And gorge ourselves, in as much of an ascetic manner as possible.
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> Be on the lookout for other invitees, such as That Hakurei Lady.
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>Nazrin needs an outfit for the party. Make it so.
Nazrin's not here and not partying.
> Briefly wonder where Yuugi picked up "meister" from.
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> Ichirin: Group hug.
(http://i.imgur.com/mqTra.png)
my heart ;_;
> We should probably find either the owner of the paper napkin note, or the original sender. Whichever comes first, really.
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> Shou your way to the party Mamizou'd as a bunch of hobo youkai and Kyouko everyone upon arrival
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> Rikako: Interrupt.
(http://i.imgur.com/NTccR.png)
You ask Ichirin why she had to tell you about her entire day if it wasn't relevant to what she saw leading up to the incident. She apologizes and says she'll be getting to the important part soon.
Satori tells you to be quiet and asks Ichirin to continue.
Well FINE. When it's your turn, you're going to make everyone listen to you blather on about how your day was, too!
> Ichirin: Seek out fried foods.
The aroma of many DELICIOUS GREASY MORSELS wafts through the air. It's about lunchtime, and after the flight here you could really go for some chow. Better eat before Yamame's concert!
You offer to buy everyone some TAKOYAKI. Mamizou in particular is delighted to hear this.
You head down the street and into the crowd.
> Ichirin: Scout partygoers.
(http://i.imgur.com/Hv5dO.png)
The turnout is as big as the Hakurei Shrine Festival! You recognize a few youkai that you've seen before, although you don't really know their names. Everyone seems to be having a good time. You'll make it a point to make some new friends today!
You don't see any humans though, not even the ones that would usually be seen among youkai. You wonder why.
> Ichirin: Keep a lookout for Parsee.
You're not exactly itching for another encounter with her, but you guess you'll try to approach her again if you see her. Wouldn't want Byakuren to have gotten slugged in the face for nothing.
> Ichirin: Ask Nazrin about her errand.
(http://i.imgur.com/1qpoO.png)
Too late, she's already gone. Oh well. You hope she won't shy away from the party entirely.
> Ichirin: Get some takoyaki.
(http://i.imgur.com/fqzEN.png)
It doesn't take you long to find a takoyaki stand run by a friendly-looking red oni.
You order one for everyone, including Nazrin, planning to stash it in your inventory until she comes back.
(http://i.imgur.com/JEUXf.png)
When you reach into your coat for your wallet, you realize that all you have is TWO MEASLY FAIRY DOLLARS. You forgot to grab your money from your room, stupid!
(http://i.imgur.com/f1KW6.gif)
> _
-
WHOOPS
-
>How often do we go down here? Perhaps we can convince the oni we're good for it, via pinky promise?
>Alternately, is Unzan fast enough to go fetch our cash and come back?
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>Forgo getting food for yourself. Self-sacrifice and charity will enlighten us (if not teach us to not forget our wallet).
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> Retroactively have picked up the money from our room.
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> Ask if they accept Fairy Dollars, the underground is a different world after all
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> Unzan: Pay for everything and chide her later.
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>Alternately, is Unzan fast enough to go fetch our cash and come back?
> Failing this, agree to run an errand for the oni in return for the food.
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>Try and think of someone who might owe you some money who would be attending. Might be able to grab some food for the other's if not yourself.
>Once done with the food issue, seek out Yuugi to deliver the cake (make sure to have it tested once more before handing it off though, Nue can be pretty sneaky).
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> Ichirin: Retroactively have picked up the money from your room.
Sure, why not? You scroll up back to the part where you were in your room and attempt to get the money.
(http://i.imgur.com/ULfgt.png)
Well, you should have expected that. While you can enter commands in the past, the COMMAND INTERPRETER will not allow you to perform actions that would contradict information or events you have seen further down the line. You can't change anything; you can only fill in the gaps.
Furthermore, although the reason is obvious in this case, when the COMMAND INTERPRETER throws a TIME PARADOX ERROR, it will not tell you the reason for the error. This is an intentional design flaw to limit the power of NONLINEAR COMMAND INTERPRETER TECHNOLOGY.
> Ichirin: Consider sending Unzan to get your money.
No good. It took you about an hour to get here, so he wouldn't be back for at least two.
> Ichirin: Consult with nearby fairy.
You ask a fairy if she would be willing to trade any YEN for your FAIRY DOLLARS.
(http://i.imgur.com/C3bTF.png)
She says that she doesn't have any, but that she would be willing to sell you a SHINY STONE she found in exchange for your TWO FAIRY DOLLARS. While her offer is intriguing, it doesn't really help your current situation.
> Ichirin: Ask the oni how much Fairy Dollars are worth.
(http://i.imgur.com/Jgues.png)
Looks like FAIRY DOLLARS are only useful in dealing with FAIRIES.
> Ichirin: Explain situation.
(http://i.imgur.com/w6H9G.png)
You tell the oni that you forgot your money at home and that you'll have to cancel your order, unless you can come to some kind of agreement.
(http://i.imgur.com/iIW6e.png)
The oni looks strangely pleased at this, and offers to SETTLE THE MATTER WITH A BET. He says you can challenge him at anything you please. If you win, you get your takoyaki for free! But if you lose...
(http://i.imgur.com/mkN0K.png)
...HE GETS TO TAKE YOU HOME.
(http://i.imgur.com/Pupss.png)
Then he recalls that Yuugi said no abductions today, so he says that if you lose you have to give him your hat instead.
Will you give it a try? If you do, what will you challenge him at? You recall that oni are pretty good at A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS.
> _
-
> A display of DUOTECH
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> Fried bean eating contest
-
>100 Meter Namusan
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> It seems like a fair bet, no? You can use Unzan as a replacement, if so. (if he doesn't feel too obliged)
Unzan's true form is a mystery. He can multiply, expand, and change form as he wishes
He can multiply, expand, and change form as he wishes
change form as he wishes
-
Bringing canon into a text adventure is not always the slam dunk the canon-obsessed may think it is.
-
Suggestion:
Contest to determine which one is the more Purple?
-
I dunno, who knows how many tattoos that guy has on his back? It may be a sea of purple back there.
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> Challenge him to Byakuren-following.
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> Challenge him to Buddhist-sutra recital.
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>Have him arm wrestle with Unzan! Not sure about how good of an idea that is, Unzan is strong but often Oni are too. He'd accept it in a heart beat and it would be fun though.
>Trade the fairy dollars for the shiny stone. You can at least use the shiny stone as a distraction if you get into a fight with something stupid (possibly other fairies).
-
Bringing canon into a text adventure is not always the slam dunk the canon-obsessed may think it is.
Are you saying the idea of Unzan turning into a replacement hat isn't a slam-dunk?
-
>Trade the fairy dollars for the shiny stone. You can at least use the shiny stone as a distraction if you get into a fight with something stupid (possibly other fairies).
bad idea alert bad idea alert abort abort
On the note of Unzan though, I'm sure there's a possible way to win with the use of Unzan being a nyuudou. However, note that oni severely dislike tricks and lies. Not sure whether that means he'll get angry if we abuse Unzan or do some other tomfoolery to win, or if it just means he won't expect it; but to get MAXIMUM RESPECT POINTS we'd probably have to beat the guy ourselves in something completely straightforward. The principle of oni challenges is that they let you pick whatever you want, but they expect you to be upfront and honest about it.
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>Challenge the oni to go back to earlier in our conversation and say "two fairy dollars are enough to pay for your order of takoyaki" instead of "less than the paper they're printed on".
8)
-
Drake has it.
Resuggesting the 100 Meter Namusan.
-
People also forgetting that Unzan has a mind of his own and most certainly won't like being made into a hat.
-
> Staring contest.
-
You're telling me that two worthless fairy dollars would be better then a stone? (they may, I've played too many rpg's where stones tend to be worth more then they seem). Never know what'll happen!
Nice point out on the oni thing though. Only idea out of Ichirins Tech trees is dynamic costume change (which we have). Fist tech seems like it'd be a bad idea unless he'd take on Unzan (this oni looks like he might have more investments in it then you), buddha-tech I have no ideas, and he'd need a friend for duo-tech. So I advise we challenge this oni to DYNAMIC COSTUME CHANGING (it'll be fun at least, that or end horribly)!
-
>Fold the Fairy Dollars into a little paper hat and offer that instead.
What? It might work.. or is Paper Folding not on our available skillsets? :V
-
> Duotech matchup. Or 100-meter Namusan. Either works.
-
> Ichirin: Consider challenges.
You try to think of things you could beat an oni at. A number of things that you could pretty much win by default immediately spring to mind, such as a soybean eating contest, a DUOTECH contest, a being-purple contest, and so on.
(http://i.imgur.com/WMNUw.png)
However, you realize that choices along these lines would be unsportsmanlike and not a good way to make friends underground. You might as well challenge him at being Kumoi Ichirin.
Think of a real challenge!
> Ichirin: Challenge oni to the 100-Meter Namusan.
(http://i.imgur.com/nq5uU.png)
You challenge the oni to the 100-Meter Namusan.
What the hell is the 100-Meter Namusan?
(http://i.imgur.com/WnV2b.png)
Kyouko overhears your exchange with the oni and steps in to explain the rules of the event! You are shocked to learn that the 100-Meter Namusan is an actual thing.
(http://i.imgur.com/PAQmV.png)
According to Kyouko, the 100-Meter Namusan is conducted on an illusionary road with countless twists and turns. It is for all intents and purposes a normal foot race, with one exception - unless your mind is at peace and free of desires, each step forward will in fact put you one step back. This challenge is fairly difficult. Between two ordinary competitors, it is likely that neither of them would be able to win!
She also mentions that, no, stepping backwards won't move you forward, so no being a cheatyface.
(http://i.imgur.com/EVXWr.png)
The oni asserts confidence in his victory, because the oni are well-disciplined in Zen Buddhism. Of course, this event plays to one of your greatest strengths as well. This should be a good match.
(http://i.imgur.com/cWxnU.png)
Kyouko begins to conjure the road using her RITUALTECH. Looks like her training is coming along better than you thought.
> Ichirin: Prepare self.
(http://i.imgur.com/yMzA6.png)
You do a quick change back into your NUN'S GARB, which feels more appropriate for the task at hand, and take a relaxing breath.
(http://i.imgur.com/XosfH.jpg)
Countless paths begin to form in front of you. Only a clear mind will lead you down the correct one.
It's time to begin. A journey of a hundred meters beings with a single step.
> Stuffman: Determine outcome of race.
(http://i.imgur.com/zPvwB.png)
Let's see. In addition to her racial levels, Ichirin probably has about 10 levels in Monk, so that's a +30 ft enhancement bonus to her move speed, and she'd have strong Will saves as well.
I guess I'll have to look in Oriental Adventures for the oni's stats. That was never updated for 3.5, though...wait, it doesn't even distinguish between red oni and blue oni. God damnit, Wizards. The one time you choose NOT to make a different statblock for a creature of every color of the rainbow, it had to be this one.
Screw it. I'll decide it with a 1d2.
Er, a coin flip.
> Stuffman: Flip coin.
(http://i.imgur.com/1jHqb.png)
Call it.
> _
-
>There is only good heads.
-
>Good heads
-
> We'd all want some good head if you know what I mean :V
-
> We'd all want some good head if you know what I mean :V
> We don't know what you mean and would like you to spell it out in exhaustive detail, with figures and examples, providing references where necessary.
> Also good heads.
-
'Good head' is a derived term from the idiomatic expression of 'give head'. Idiomatic expressions of the category that have a stem with give, get and got are typically colloquial in connotation or something you won't find in academic writing (Halpert C. 2012; personal communication).
-
>Tails
-
> The coin gets caught in a groove in the table, forcing the race to play out normally.
> Good heads.
-
> The coin lands on it's side
-
> The coin gets sucked into a wormhole.
> And lands on its side in another dimension.
-
> Good heads
-
>Good heads
-
Medium heads!
-
> Good heads.
(http://i.imgur.com/2Znkh.png)
> Ichirin: Proceed.
(http://i.imgur.com/MJwrg.png)
In order to finish the race, you need to clear your mind of all desires.
That means you'll have to set aside your desire for some delicious takoyaki, as well as your desire to not lose your stylish hat, and your desire to not embarrass yourself in front of your friends.
But how can you win a race without the desire to win?
(http://i.imgur.com/63Zhk.png)
The answer is that it doesn't matter.
(http://i.imgur.com/uHo6v.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oWnmg.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/paVag.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/7c5NP.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/K9W7h.png)
FUN FACT: An average oni can clear 100 meters in three bounds, and despite their rambunctious nature, they are actually very good at keeping a calm mind.
(http://i.imgur.com/Wdq8Q.png)
What the oni are very bad at, however, is not getting overconfident when they're about to win.
(http://i.imgur.com/MPgFf.png)
> Ichirin: Claim victory.
You emerge from the misty path, and it disappears, releasing your oni opponent as well.
(http://i.imgur.com/dHZtM.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/KYZkj.png)
The oni appears MOMENTARILY DISGRUNTLED, but takes his loss in stride.
(http://i.imgur.com/oE0pt.png)
You exchange a FRIENDLY HANDSHAKE, and he upholds his end of the bet by giving you the takoyaki.
(http://i.imgur.com/sDNAR.png)
You have scored TAKOYAKI FOR THE WHOLE PARTY! GREAT SUCCESS! Mamizou in particular is delighted to receive it. You have gained a few MAMIZOU AFFECTION POINTS, although you're not really sure you want to wind up on her route.
(http://i.imgur.com/2BnL6.png)
Yuugi pats you on the back and tells you you put on a good show.
> _
-
> "Yuugi, did you leave your party unattended?"
> strive to avert eyes from chest area
-
> Owwww
-
>Don't fall!
-
> Oh, hello Yuugi. Great party!
-
> Scream like a little girl for a split second, then recover as if nothing happened.
-
> strive to avert eyes from chest area
> Yeah, seriously. Cough politely and make a subtle nod to make her aware of her moderate state of undress.
-
>Make sure hat remains on head.
>Compliment Yuugi's wardrobe.
>Ask her about that note we found.
-
>Unzan: stern-old-man-face at Yuugi
-
> Yeah, seriously. Cough politely and make a subtle nod to make her aware of her moderate state of undress.
> Belay that. Knowing Yuugi, she'll nod in understanding and then tweak it open further. We'd never be able to face Byakuren.
> Is it cake time? I think it's cake time.
-
ilustuffman.jpg
MAMIZOU AFFECTION POINTS
Yesssssss.
> Is it cake time? I think it's cake time.
-
> Belay that. Knowing Yuugi, she'll nod in understanding and then tweak it open further. We'd never be able to face Byakuren.
> Which leads to the obvious question: Do we know Yuugi well enough to predict this?
-
> Should we pay the oni merchant back at a later date? Even though we won the contest, we were only in that situation in the first place through our own stupidity.
-
> Should we pay the oni merchant back at a later date? Even though we won the contest, we were only in that situation in the first place through our own stupidity.
>Eightfold Path #4! It would be morally just to reimburse the oni in this situation.
-
> Unzan: Rescue Ichirin's takoyaki.
(http://i.imgur.com/6fy8s.png)
The shock of Yuugi's greeting causes Ichirin to drop her hard-earned takoyaki! You leap into action to save it.
> Ichirin: Examine Yuugi.
(http://i.imgur.com/ktBY9.png)
This is YUUGI HOSHIGUMA, easily the most well-known and influential oni in FORMER HELL. Though you have never spoken with her personally, you've seen her before and heard countless stories of her antics over the many years you've spent underground.
She apparently planned this entire party herself, sending out written invitations to well-known youkai all over Gensokyo (including Byakuren) and asking them to bring along any other youkai they wanted. She seems to be quite pleased with the turnout of the event, as her current mood appears to be OVERWHELMINGLY FRIENDLY.
> Ichirin: Avoid examining Yuugi's boobs.
You fail miserably. Her MODESTY THRESHOLD is obviously miles below yours. You do your best to ignore her MONUMENTAL JUBBLIES, but this effort is soon rendered moot.
(http://i.imgur.com/nxsq1.png)
Yuugi puts you in a FRIENDLY HEADLOCK, informing you that you're JUST THE KIND OF PEOPLE she was hoping would show up. Byakuren, sensing your distress, introduces herself and thanks Yuugi for inviting her, and when asked, confirms that you are one of her followers. Yuugi responds that Byakuren has GOOD TASTE IN MINIONS.
> Unzan: Rescue Ichirin's hat.
(http://i.imgur.com/qG2fY.png)
The only time a man's hat should touch the ground is to express his disgust.
> Ichirin: Give Yuugi the cake.
Time to give Houjuu a taste of her own medicine.
You produce the DELICIOUS BOOZECAKE you received from Pastel, telling Yuugi that it is a gift baked by CAPTAIN MURASA, who sends her BEST WISHES. Yuugi is more than pleased, saying that she had just now been wandering over here to find something to satisfy her sweet tooth!
You hand Yuugi the cake and quietly make note of Nue, who has pre-emptively retreated to the shadows to watch.
(http://i.imgur.com/xYEcz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/iP3D0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Qb8WB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/GXwIB.png)
Yuugi decides that this is objectively THE BEST SAKE CAKE EVER MADE, and that Murasa should promptly be crowned as KING OF BAKERS.
You turn to see Nue's reaction.
(http://i.imgur.com/iBBsd.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/omRAA.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/riOo5.png)
Slowly, it dawns on her. She has been counterpranked. Counterpranked by the most unassuming person on the team. The fact that you did it in such a subtle and harmless manner entirely fitting your personality only twists the knife further.
It's too bad you don't have access to the BLACK COMMAND INTERPRETER, or you could watch the entertaining [Ѕ] Nue: Mental breakdown. You'll have to settle for the still image above.
Nue retreats for now, so you turn your attention back to Yuugi.
(http://i.imgur.com/3BWMY.png)
Yuugi tells Byakuren that she has a seat for her at the VIP TABLE, and asks Byakuren to come with her to meet the other bigwigs in Gensokyo. Byakuren says she doesn't think she deserves the special attention, but that she'd be delighted to meet them.
Yuugi gives her profuse thanks for the cake, and Byakuren asks if you need anything from her before she goes.
> Ichirin: Consider Parsee.
You wonder if you should bring up your encounter with the bridge troll with Yuugi. While this person is obviously someone Yuugi cares about, you might actually be getting her in more trouble by mentioning what she'd been doing.
What do you do?
> _
-
> Casually mention that Parsee wasn't at the bridge when you crossed, and that someone should go get her so she can have some fun with us.
(note: not lie)
-
> Check out some of the other attractions of the party.
-
>Thank you Pastel.
>Thastel.
-
> Hope Aya's camera didn't go off, at a certain afor-warned area when she dropped it. Knowing Aya...
> Casually mention that Parsee wasn't at the bridge when you crossed, and that someone should go get her so she can have some fun with us.
(note: not lie)
Unless Yuugi is drunk enough to belive you would know who this Parsee is without meeting her... this is probobly a bad idea.
-
But she has met Parsee; she gave Parsee a note.
-
But she has met Parsee; she gave Parsee a note.
Which you wouldn't know if you didn't meet her...
-
> Ichirin: "Did you... invite the bridgekeeper? We saw her briefly there, but she doesn't appear to be here?"
-
> Stop taking pleasure in Nue's distress. Schadenfreude is not befitting someone of our place in our temple. Turning a prank into a genuine gift while teaching Nue a lesson is rewarding enough.
-
Unless Yuugi is drunk enough to belive you would know who this Parsee is without meeting her... this is probobly a bad idea.
My bad, I thought we had been to the underground before and had thus established who Parsee was. While you could technically get away with faking that you knew Parsee usually guards the bridge (which isn't really a leap in logic to begin with), I retract that suggestion.
> Simply mention that the bridge troll skedaddled when you crossed the bridge, but you don't seem to see her amongst the crowd.
-
>High-five Unzan for his excellent catching skills.
-
> Gently push Aya over.
-
> Gently push Aya over.
^ Seconded.
-
> Gently push Aya over.
> Consider if you prefer Mamizou Affection Points over Byakuren Affection Points.
> Hand Aya her camera and politely ask her to leave.
-
> Ichirin: Check Affection Points.
AFFECTION POINTS are not a visible stat. You can tell when you're gaining them, but they are affected over time by a multitude of invisible factors. You're never sure which route you're headed for!
Maybe you should decide who you'll focus on, in order to try to get the route you want. Would you prefer:
- The cute, lighthearted Kyouko Route?
- The deep, introspective Nazrin Route?
- The dramatic, emotional Mamizou Route?
- The wacky, sexy Nue Route?
- The cliche, poorly-written Shou Route?
- A replay of Minamitsu Route? (You got the NEUTRAL END last time.)
- The secret Pastel Route?
There is no Byakuren Route. The best girl never has a route.
You think on it for a while, and decide that this train of thought is INCREDIBLY STUPID.
> Ichirin: Stop gloating over successful counterprank.
Right. It wouldn't be proper to give Nue a hard time about it, or to get too cocky, since the success of your plan can mostly be attributed to Miss Gateau, and also because it's just not very nice to begin with.
Plus, getting into a prank war with Nue might be starting something you can't finish. You got lucky this time.
You'll try to have a good laugh about it with Nue later.
> Ichirin: Show Yuugi the note.
You show Yuugi the FRIENDLY THREATENING LETTER and tell her that a bridge troll dropped it when she saw you, and fled. Yuugi skeptically asks you if YOU'RE SURE the troll didn't say anything. You nervously tell her she didn't.
(http://i.imgur.com/LyhHm.png)
Yuugi gives you another HEARTY PAT ON THE BACK and tells you not to worry about it. She says she'll get Byakuren to her seat and then go find Parsee.
They head off, and most of your group scatters towards various attractions as well. You're free to roam the party now.
> Ichirin: Thank Unzan.
You get your takoyaki from Unzan and promptly enjoy a bite of it. Good stuff, very spicy though. You wonder if it's made with some kind of HELL OCTOPUS.
(http://i.imgur.com/hXWJc.png)
You thank Unzan, and he simply nods. This is business as usual for him; you can't remember the last time you dropped something that Unzan did not recover with a SWEET CATCH.
> Ichirin: Check on Aya.
Isn't this that tengu reporter/voyeur everybody's always complaining about?
(http://i.imgur.com/X2zCK.png)
Looks like Nue wasn't joking about the mind-destroying properties of her panties. You give her a nudge to see if she's okay.
(http://i.imgur.com/t32vt.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/JW2Dq.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Uc2HZ.png)
Looks like she'll live.
(http://i.imgur.com/AiZCs.png)
Suddenly, you see the stage in the back starting to light up! Could Yamame's concert be starting already!?
> _
-
> HOLY FUCK GET OVER THERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW
-
>
Acquire some of Nue's panties
> HOLY FUCK GET OVER THERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW
> (despair because there's no way you're getting a good spot)
-
> You can fly, silly.
-
> You can fly, silly.
>Rooftop seat, ho!
-
> You can fly, silly.
> So can the rest of these clowns.
> See if there is someone we know and wedge ourselves in with them.
-
This thread is amazing.
>Scout for good seats, including rooftop seats, before making a decision.
-
> Might as well take Aya with us. We gotta make sure she's OK after all, it wouldn't be nice to leave her there like that.
-
> Stick Aya in our bag of holding.
-
> Unzan: When Yamame starts singing, stroke beard and contemplate her lyrics.
-
>Try not to fangirl scream too hard, it would be unseemly. Be elegant about it!
-
> Ichirin: Add Aya to inventory.
You guess you better do something about this. You decide to take Aya with you until she comes to her senses. Unzan's expression seems to indicate he'd prefer to leave her to suffer her well-deserved punishment, but he doesn't voice any complaint.
However, you can't add a person to your inventory, silly! Not unless they have the passive ability that lets you do that, like Nazrin.
(http://i.imgur.com/o0B0a.png)
You EQUIP Aya instead. Doing so grants you a modest speed boost.
> Ichirin: Get to the concert!!
It's too late to grab a spot next to the stage, but you should be able to get a good view by flying. Hurry!
(http://i.imgur.com/yzlJz.png)
You manage to grab a PRIME SPOT on a nearby roof. It's not very close, but you have a clear, comfortable view.
> Unzan: Complain about modern music.
(http://i.imgur.com/Vl5Jo.png)
All flash, no substance. All a REAL musician needs is a shamisen and a good singing voice. None of these silly light shows. Didn't need speakers either, because everyone was polite and kept their damn mouth shut so they could hear the damn song.
Back in your day, performers traveled uphill in the snow to villages all over Kyushu to play for tips, and most of them were blind to boot! You'd like to see this Kurodani girl try to sing without her newfangled fancy AUTOTUNES and DUBSTEPS and LATTES (you don't actually know what any of these things are).
Bah, forget it, Ichirin's not listening. Can't find anyone who appreciates proper music nowadays. Makes you wish there were some koto tsukumogami running around or something.
> Ichirin: GET HYPE.
(http://i.imgur.com/DD2wT.png)
The lights are dimming! The show's about to start!!
(http://i.imgur.com/mTyYv.png)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsc1Me5B4Ec) ]
(http://i.imgur.com/a1NkS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/qDuLC.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/WM2Ls.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Jqbm1.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/MpGRz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ExKQ3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/WbAgR.png)
> Patchouli: 2x Facepalm Combo.
(http://i.imgur.com/cRmVh.png)
You knew something like this would happen, but still.
> Ichirin: Go elsewhere.
You guess Yamame isn't performing until later. Nothing to see here. Well, except for two of Gensokyo's biggest names slugging it out, but you're not too interested in things like that.
(http://i.imgur.com/zeT7G.png)
Aya senses the POTENTIAL HEADLINE and awakens. She unequips herself from you and goes to take pictures, without a word of thanks to you. Oh well.
You head back towards the square, where there is plenty of socialization going on.
(http://i.imgur.com/XYbWI.png)
You manage to get a look at the VIP Table. Byakuren's over there, along with a whole bunch of other important people. They're getting pretty rowdy over there, and obviously very drunk. It looks like a bunch of them are playing around with their ABILITIES.
You look around for another of your fellow Buddhists, but first you spot someone else who catches your attention.
(http://i.imgur.com/7oTN0.png)
It's Keine! Making friends with her might be a good way to get her to trust the temple more. She looks pretty depressed about something, though. Is she here by herself?
> _
-
> Go up and say hi. Us Stage 3 bosses need to stick together!
-
>Complement Ms. Kamishirasawa on her superb headwear.
-
> In an attempt to make idle talk (after our other lovely MoTK members figure out how to start a conversation) try asking about how her work is. Everyone loves down-to-earth talk in fantasy settings!
-
(after our other lovely MoTK members figure out how to start a conversation)
>Comment on the lovely weather we're having.
-
(after our other lovely MoTK members figure out how to start a conversation)
>Comment on the lovely weather we're having.
> Add a disparaging remark about that unfortunate event that happened the other day.
> Diverge from current topic on basis of self-admitted meaningless hearsay.
> Basically, shame ourselves by engaging in talk so small that one would need equipment not invented in this day and age to actually see it.
> Or, alternatively, encourage her to voice her worries to us.
-
>Byakuren: Namusan
>Unzan: Flex
-
>Patchouli: Mukyuu
-
>Ask the poor dear what's troubling her.
>Complement Ms. Kamishirasawa on her superb headwear.
>And this.
-
>Patchouli: Mukyuu
> This
> Say hi to Keine. And try to cheer her up/find out what's wrong.
> Were the crowd angry simply because it wasn't Yamane, or was Remillia actually bad?
> Remeber to never ressucitate Aya by bringing her to a potential scoop again.
-
>Patchouli: Mukyuu
>Ask the poor dear what's troubling her.
>Ichirin: Wonder if Mokou had anything to do with this.
>Stuffman in a purple wig: Hide bonus Pastel route on tumblr
-
>See if purple interpreter works on Patchouli.
-
A small bit of bonus content because I realized that, sadly, it is impossible to work this joke into the story.
(http://i.imgur.com/UfdrG.png)
Update maybe later tonight, let's see how fast I can draw.
>See if purple interpreter works on Patchouli.
Of course it does silly, she's in the very first post.
-
> Patchouli: Assist Remilia.
The crowd is none too pleased that Remi has attempted to upstage their beloved Yamame. Looks like you'll need to save Remi's bacon.
(http://i.imgur.com/3DOdz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/KSwjX.png)
Your throwing arm is MORE THAN A LITTLE RUSTY. So much for PLAN A.
> Ichirin: Approach Keine.
You approach the Hakutaku and prepare to engage in DIPLOMANCY.
(http://i.imgur.com/nunVv.png)
You bring up the most ubiquitous of all conversation starters, the weather. Keine appears confused because you're underground.
(http://i.imgur.com/Jp8kT.png)
Little does Keine know that this was a calculated response on your part, in order to make yourself appear knowledgable and interesting!
You explain to Keine that FORMER HELL experiences weather changes from time to time, including hot humid days, foggy conditions, or even snow in the winter! It's a relatively mild day underground today, and therefore the weather is indeed quite nice.
Keine says "oh".
(http://i.imgur.com/F5cIT.png)
She then confirms that your name is Ichirin Kumoi. She says she didn't recognize you at first because of your new outfit.
You reply that you just wanted to dress up for the party for fun. You add that Keine doesn't really need to do the same, since her outfit is already one of the BEST IN GENSOKYO. (This isn't even an empty compliment, because it actually is.)
Keine looks a bit embarassed at the flattery.
(http://i.imgur.com/5TRdN.png)
You apologize and say you're sorry for bothering her, and that you'll leave her alone now.
Keine interjects and apologizes for her own behavior. Little does she know that this is ALSO a calculated maneuver on your part! It's not very nice to guilt her like that, but you do want to help, and this will get her to talk about what's actually bothering her.
She explains that she convinced a friend of hers to come to the party with her, but that the friend never showed up. Being stood up is one thing, but she adds that she wonders if she shouldn't have pushed her friend to come in the first place and that it's her own fault.
(http://i.imgur.com/d6L03.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Hfxn5.png)
Furthermore, Keine adds, it seems the fact that NO HUMANS WERE INVITED was a deliberate move, as the oni don't seem to be too happy about her being here. She feels like she shouldn't have come at all and that she should just go home.
(http://i.imgur.com/zu7AE.png)
You tell Keine to cheer up. It isn't her fault if her friend didn't want to come, some people are just too shy to enjoy being around strangers. One of your own friends seems to have run off too, so she's not alone there.
You ask her to hang out with you, since most of your fellow followers will probably be busy getting hammered and you need someone to explore the party with.
Keine quietly nods and says okay.
(http://i.imgur.com/2RuZV.png)
Ichirin, you sly devil! You've made Keine play right into your hands! You're going to give her so much FRIENDSHIP and SUPPORT and CHERISHED MEMORIES, she won't even know what hit her.
Ichirin: Explore party with new companion.
You wonder if they have that ring toss game. You're awesome at those!
(http://i.imgur.com/BpUb0.png)
However, after walking down the street a short way, you realize Keine has stopped behind you. You ask her what's wrong.
(http://i.imgur.com/3bZEm.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Se38f.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/eEAKy.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/1vxIX.png)
Keine hurriedly unfurls her scroll, and orders everyone to hold still!
~
(http://i.imgur.com/mx2mv.png)
What happened next is a blur. Keine's power seemed to wrap around everyone and cause them to vanish, just as THE VAST GAP descended upon you.
The next thing you knew, you woke up here. Satori was the first person you found, and the rest of you met up shortly after.
> Patchouli: Explain.
(http://i.imgur.com/Kl8qh.png)
You explain that Keine has the ABILITY TO EAT HISTORY. The exact mechanics of this are rather vague, but basically she is able to temporarily (or permanently?) "eat" the history of a person or place, causing it to vanish.
Keine was probably trying to save everyone from IMPENDING GAP-RELATED DOOM. During the IMPERISHABLE NIGHT INCIDENT, she was able to use her ability to hide the entire HUMAN VILLAGE, so it isn't a stretch to say she could have hidden everyone at the party, as well as everyone for a few miles around. That would explain why almost everybody is gone.
This does raise a few more questions though. Keine apparently hid herself as well, so how did she plan to release everyone afterwards? She's not stupid, so she must have had some kind of plan. Also, why were each of you left behind? You don't seem to have anything in common (besides the obvious superficial similarity). Ichirin was even standing right next to Keine. Did something go wrong?
You suggest that you all continue with your stories so that you can piece together more information.
> END OF ACT 1 PART 1
Who will go next?
(http://i.imgur.com/iY9R7.png)
> SELECT PLAYER: _
-
>What time is it? Satori time!
-
I echo Purvis' sentiments! It is time for Satori!
-
> Now it is Satori Time.
edit:
FUCK, PURVIS, NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I'M BEING UNORIGINAL
-
rofl oh god this update
Stuffman you are some sort of hero.
>Anyway, PATCHOULI votes are go.
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>Patchouli.
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RIKAKO BECAUSE I'M SPECIAL
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>Patchouli time! We already did like 1 thing as her anyway. :p
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>Rikako because Raikaria is special (and because I want some mad science moments)!
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> Patchouli.
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> Patchoulli now so that Satori gets the better action in part3
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>Satoriiiii
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>Patchouli
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> Satorikakouli. If not possible, Satori.
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> Satori
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>Satori
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Rikako because reasons
-
>Satori
AAAAAH MANSTUFF NO IDOL YAMAME PICTURE WAI
-
AAAAAH MANSTUFF NO IDOL YAMAME PICTURE WAI
Voting for Patchouli will inevitably get us backstage with Remi, allowing us an early glance at Yamame.
8) Just sayin'.
-
>Patchouli
-
Patchouli so we create less time paradoxes.
-
> Patchy because
-
As much as I'd like to vote Patchouli for obvious reasons... I'd like to see Satori's take on the events. (Rikako as well. I like all of the characters, dammit)
>Satori
-
> Patchy for ultimate bean-toss skill :p
-
Someday Rikako, someday.
-
Rikako, but if not now, then make her the last.
(as much as I don't participate, I lurk this like all get out)
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> Satori, so we can have even more excellent times with Patchy/Rikako.
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I VOTE SATORI.
I hope that you'll notice that I made the text bigger in some hope that it'll count for more than one vote.
-
Current total:
SATORI - 11
PATCHOULI - 10
RIKAKO - 4
-
Rikako if more PC98 chars are involved
Patchy if it gives an explanation for Remilia's little upstage
Satori if... er... uh... :derp:
so yeah im leaning a little on the rikako side
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>Patchouloli.
I cannot sit back and watch idly when the votes are so close.
-
(as much as I don't participate, I lurk this like all get out)
Same here, but I'mma vote Satori. :3
-
Ok time to stop lurking.
>Patchouli
-
ffs
Sudden death, someone break the tie. :colbert:
-
> Ichirin: Satori
> Unzan: Satori
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Patchouri
edit: /me looks at the last two posts.
Pfffft
-
Okay, Patch it is.
Time to prepare!
-
A VICTORY FOR THE FORCES OF MUKYU
-
> ACT 1 PART 2
> Be Patchouli.
(http://i.imgur.com/1M5Nm.png)
That is not Patchouli.
(http://i.imgur.com/IZBhh.png)
Remilia insists that she should be the star of this chapter, as she is the master of the mansion in which Patchouli resides, and also has PURPLE HAIR.
Unluckily for her, Remilia has failed to realize that her NAME and STRONG VISUAL THEME puts her squarely within the domain of the RED COMMAND INTERPRETER. The only command you can give Remilia with the PURPLE COMMAND INTERPRETER is "Charisma break".
(http://i.imgur.com/rkVCe.png)
> Actually be Patchouli.
(http://i.imgur.com/IzsWV.png)
You are PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE, THE UNMOVING GREAT LIBRARY. You are REMILIA SCARLET'S oldest friend, and you reside in the library of her gigantic estate, the SCARLET DEVIL MANSION.
You are a HIGHLY ACCOMPLISHED ELEMENTAL MAGICIAN. You have full command of the FIVE-PHASE ELEMENTAL CYCLE, plus the POSITIVE and NEGATIVE forces of SUN and MOON. Your repertoire is so well-rounded that you can use a different element for each day of the week and still have spells to spare. And you often do!
(http://i.imgur.com/c2DE6.png)
You have succeeded in creating the PHILOSOPHER'S STONE, the ultimate alchemical creation. As such, you have obtained ETERNAL YOUTH. Unfortunately, you later discovered that the stone does not provide ETERNAL HEALTH, and so your COMPLETE LACK OF EXERCISE over the past few decades has rendered you terribly weak, anemic, and asthmatic. You won't die, but you really need to start getting in shape, because your condition is so bad that you're not able to perform more than a few spells in a row.
The gatekeeper has offered to be your PERSONAL TRAINER, and you'll probably take her up on it. Eventually. You know, maybe next year.
Your hands have been pretty full lately, in no small part due to REMILIA'S SHENANIGANS. Thanks to your wealth of knowledge on matters both magical and academic, you serve as her advisor on whatever crackpot scheme she has cooked up at any given time. Last year, you succeeded at building a rocketship to send Remi to the moon, and although her plan for LUNAR DOMINATION failed miserably, the spacecraft did work nicely, so you count it as a personal victory.
Things have been pretty interesting in general ever since Remi decided to move the SDM to Gensokyo. A little noisy for your tastes, but interesting.
Today is a special day! YUUGI HOSHIGUMA of the oni has sent out mass invitations to a GIGANTIC PARTY IN FORMER HELL as a gesture of FRIENDSHIP between the youkai of the surface and the underground, partially to ease tensions after RECENT EVENTS (of which you were a part). To be honest, you'd rather not go, as you find partying with oni to be a PRETTY UNAPPEALING PROSPECT. You don't trust those oni one bit. However, Remi has insisted that she wants to bring a large entourage to the party so that she can make a DYNAMIC DEBUT. You're not sure what she's planning, but you figure you'd better go along to see what she's up to (if only to simplify cleaning up the mess afterward).
If nothing else, it might give you a chance to test that bean danmaku you've been working on.
(http://i.imgur.com/xucOO.png)
But right now, you have more pressing issues to deal with; you have a recurring problem with Black-White rats in your library.
She sure is moving fast today. How will you proceed?
> _
-
>Can we presume that today is Saturday?
>Track the Black-White and trap her using well-placed walls of earth!
-
>Lure out the Black-White by placing one of our less irreplacable books in an empty spot, then trap her in the walls.
>Where is that no-good familiar of ours, anyways?
-
> Call Koakuma. It's unlikly we'll be able to trap her ourselves.
-
>Remilia: Charisma Break
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>Put "Glare at mansion's cats for incompetence," on to do list.
>Calculate the if the black-white rat's thefts today warrant starting a fairy riot among the fairy maids in order to catch her.
>No seriously, where is that familiar of ours. She's got four wings so she should be able to fly faster.
-
>We're going to a party later. We don't have time to deal with this nonsense, there's studying to be done. Pull out the big guns.
-
> Inquire if Sakuya-san can assist us, for the two hundred thirty fourth consecutive instance of Marisa Being Here.
-
>Earth walls? Emerald Megalopolis it is!
-
>Are we -sure- it isn't Aya? That's pretty fast, after all. Wouldn't be terribly surprising, as Aya is quite the snoop.
-
^^
> Mentally compare the charisma, thievery, and appearance stats between Aya and Marisa.
-
> Patiently inform the offender that there. Is. No. Running. In. The. Library.
-
>Use earth powers to Disregard friction, acquire rats.
-
> Quest purplesfully
-
>Hope that your current ailments will not become an obstacle. If so, then trap the theif with Silent Selene.
-
> Patchouli: Call Koakuma.
(http://i.imgur.com/IiqK8.png)
Better call in the maid fairies while you're at it. They might buy you some precious seconds to stop the Black-White.
(http://i.imgur.com/jtYJo.png)
================================================================
TOWEROFBABBLE.EXE
-- sideshowSorceress [SS] started babbling at devilsAdvocate [DA] at 9:32 --
SS: Hi Koa, sorry I took so long to get back to you.
DA: np
DA: and i told u 2 stop callin me koa
DA: i have a name nao
SS: I keep telling you, you don't get to pick your own name. You have to wait until mom gives you one.
SS: Besides, "Persephone" is a terrible choice anyway. It's so pretentious. :*|
DA: no i came up with a different 1
SS: I certainly hope it's better.
DA: i decided on
DA: "destiny"
SS: That might be even worse.
DA: ur face is even worse
DA: so what's goin on in makai
SS: Actually, it's pretty busy today. I don't really know what's going on, but apparently there was supposed to be some kind of big transfer today and there hasn't been any word from the Yama. Seems like she dropped the ball.
SS: I hope nothing bad happened. That's really weird of her.
DA: nah genso's yama is a chump
DA: she's a wuss and she never stops complainin
DA: just liek some1 else i know
SS: Haha. Still not getting along with your master, huh?
DA: f no
DA: shes lazy and cranky and she smells
DA: its like takin care of a baby who hates u
DA: y o y did i take that 100 year contract
DA: 50 years left just shoot me nao
SS: Most wizards are old perverts. You've got it better than you think. :*)
DA: ugh i cant stand her tho
DA: she thinks shes sooo great but she cant even stop some human from stealin her crap
DA: speakin of which
DA: bbl
================================================================
(http://i.imgur.com/bYfMB.png)
Koakuma arrives on the scene. Fortunately, a CODE BLACK is just about the only thing you can count on this lazy familiar to respond to in a timely manner. You order her to pursue the target and attempt to drive her back towards the center of the library.
You don't have time to play around with the Black-White today. You decide to put one of your many ambush plans into motion so you can take her out in one shot.
(http://i.imgur.com/Oz1ba.png)
Fairy maids start flooding the library. Trying to get them to follow any kind of battle plan is pretty useless, but they'll engage enemies on sight, making them useful as speedbumps.
If Sakuya was in earshot, she'll be on the way (or more likely, already in action), but you're not counting on it. The Scarlet Devil Mansion is a big place.
(http://i.imgur.com/Z0lKH.png)
Koakuma attacks the Black-White, but the thief does not return fire and instead focuses purely on escaping. She must have something valuable!
(http://i.imgur.com/y5ZC1.png)
The Black-White dives between a pair of high shelves for cover, but this will be her undoing.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zorls.png)
Your magical tomes leap to the attack, covering the area with danmaku!
(http://i.imgur.com/qu5nw.png)
The thief is forced to slow down. Taking advantage of this, you jump out of a SECRET DOOR to cut her off!
(http://i.imgur.com/jeyvy.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/5wyF3.png)
OPERATION YELLOW BRICK ROAD is a smashing success.
You have Koakuma pull the Black-White rat out of the rubble.
(http://i.imgur.com/PdL5W.png)
That is not the Black-White rat you were expecting.
(http://i.imgur.com/EHyOm.png)
She asks if she can check out a book from the library.
> _
-
>Facepalm.
-
> Is that normally permissible?
> What book is it?
-
> Remind the mouse that this is not a public library.
> It isn't a public library, is it?
-
> What book is it?
"How to Excavate Rock Tunnels" (If I'm reading right).
>Just let her take it. You're busy and don't have time to deal with such nonsense (plus it's not a spell tome and you've probably read it)!
>Attempt to acquire her name, place of residence, and reason for wanting to take the book.
-
>Note that you just assumed she was stealing the book and fired a slew of danmaku at her.
>Just give her the book anyways, it's not like you need it.
>You already know why she wants the book, given your HIGH INTELLECT and your awareness of the Oni's party.
>Grade Koakuma's catness.
-
> Gauge value of book.
>Grade Koakuma's catness.
Koacatma.
-
猫悪魔
-
>Make sure she has a library card first.
>Should she not have one, offer her one in exchange for a Faustian Bargain: Clean up this mess.
>Also make sure Black-White's not actually in here.
-
> Smile
> Remind her that appearing as if you are stealing books from the SDM is expressly outlawed and that next time she should just ask you directly
> Check her out the book on account of some unexplained background between Byakuren and Remilia.
-
> Tell her you don't actually need Flash to get through Rock Tunnel, that book is full of lies.
-
Koakuma the Teenage Familiar has slain me. ilustuffman.jpg
> Work out a deal with the mouse.
-
> Be unsurprised. The 'rat' did not respond with a Master Spark at the first sign of danger after all, like Marisa usually does.
> Enquire why if the mouse wanted to borrow a book, she tried to steal it, and make clear that you do not tolerarte this.
-
> Be unsurprised. The 'rat' did not respond with a Master Spark at the first sign of danger after all, like Marisa usually does.
> Enquire why if the mouse wanted to borrow a book, she tried to steal it, and make clear that you do not tolerarte this.
>Note that you just assumed she was stealing the book and fired a slew of danmaku at her.
-
>Ask why.
-
>Note that you just assumed she was stealing the book and fired a slew of danmaku at her.
> You run in the library, you get what's coming to you.
-
>Note that you just assumed she was stealing the book and fired a slew of danmaku at her.
>Note that she should have just asked us in the first place.
-
Note that she should have just asked us in the first place.
And by us we mean Koakuma.
-
Also there's the question that this isn't a public library to start with.
-
> Patchouli: Assess catness ratings.
(http://i.imgur.com/MBNSd.png)
Your useless familiar could never stop a dedicated rat by herself, but you guess you can spare a few points for the assist.
The gate guard's statistics have been pathetic to date, but have shown a marked improvement lately. Motivation via reduced meals for every successful theft seems to be having a positive effect on her performance. Speaking of which, you'll be sure to let Sakuya know there won't be any dessert for her today either.
The maid chief is effective at stopping threats but woefully inconsistent in finding them in the first place. She has no business being called a "Perfect Maid" with her currently lax security.
With your extensive planning and elaborate traps, you have the right to claim the highest catness rating in the SDM, and your statistic for most rats caught backs up the claim. However, even someone of your catness cannot compare to the extreme ratness of Kirisame (which you have currently assigned the maximum value of 96, until you discover an even bigger rat).
You might be able to squelch any further rat infestations by putting the little sister on the job, but not without some UNDESIRABLE CONSEQUENCES.
> Patchouli: Check title.
(http://i.imgur.com/dCS1N.png)
A surprisingly mundane choice.
> Patchouli: Ask her why she needs it.
(http://i.imgur.com/jOq2c.png)
The rat explains that some possessions of hers that she was keeping underground were blocked off by RECENT EARTHQUAKES, shortly before she was sent aboveground. She plans to retrieve them today, but needs INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIAL in order to assure she doesn't cause any cave-ins while clearing the passage.
> Patchouli: Consider.
In truth, you are already familiar with this rat. Remi had you investigate the Myouren faction shortly after they established their temple near the Human Village.
Nazrin's ability might be something you could find useful at some point. This isn't a particularly valuable book, so maybe you can turn this into an opportunity.
> Patchouli: Smile.
(http://i.imgur.com/CI1zF.png)
Yeah, no. You're not a big fan of PASSIVE AGGRESSION. You get the job done just fine with your REGULAR AGGRESSION.
(http://i.imgur.com/CyWDp.png)
You inform the rat that you will lend her the book, but that she will OWE YOU A FAVOR. You also warn her that she had better be prepared to make good on it, because you KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES.
The rat resentfully agrees, and you send her on her way with the mining manual.
> Patchouli: Return to your desk.
You dismiss Koakuma and return to your main desk, which is where you spend most of your day.
(http://i.imgur.com/LyDz7.png)
> _
-
"How to Excavate Rock Tunnels" (If I'm reading right).
As a side note, I'm surprised you were able to make this out, though in retrospect I'm not sure why I obscured it in the first place.
-
awwww no smile
> Relax for the next x seconds of silence before Sakuya shows up and informs us of the oni party
> Consider various favors that Nazrin might be capable of doing that may or may not involve Marisa and her house
-
> Did we thank Koakuma?
-
> Admire your
phonograph fine selection of wines. well okay then
> Just what in sam hill is under the footrest?
-
(http://i.imgur.com/AOJMd.png)
...
Edit:
>Appreciate gramophone wine rack.
-
>Check whiteboard, photos, and drawers of desk.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/AOJMd.png)
That Patchy's heart is two sizes too small as of last measuring.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/AOJMd.png)
That Patchy's heart is two sizes too small as of last measuring.
Maybe so, but that expression is glorious.
> Examine pictures on bookshelf.
> Use gramophone.
-
> Remember to stock up on personal cash
-
>Put on our Yamame record on the grammophone.
>Sit back on couch and put feet up.
>Send Koakuma to fetch refreshments.
-
it's ok guys if patchouli had to force a smile it would probably be something like this
(http://i.imgur.com/tf2IL.png)
> Look at the photos on the bookshelf because they're drawn suspiciously obvious cough cough
> Look over the map(?) on your desk
-
> Inspect everything, damn it.
-
> Do we know any magic that will make ourselves taller?
-
>Check whiteboard, photos, and drawers of desk.
> Remember to stock up on personal cash
This, this, and what's on the graphed paper (also in regards to the book, I've just got luck skill). I still get the feeling Nazrin is up to something though...
-
> Inspect everything, damn it.
INSPECT ALL THE THINGS!
-
Oh, wait, we forgot something.
> Put Emerald Megalopolis back into our days-of-the-week medicine container
> Pocket the spell card on tap for tomorrow
-
INSPECT ALL THE THINGS!
> This, but with moreany class.
-
INSPECT ALL THE THINGS!
> This, but with moreany class.
I specifically refrained from making the reference. :colbert:
-
> What's written on the white/chalkboard?
-
(http://i.imgur.com/tf2IL.png)
I think I need some brain bleach.
-
> Patchouli: Thank Koakuma.
Pfft. You'll thank her when she starts doing the rest of her job properly, which will be never.
Koakuma endlessly procrastinates on any task you give her, with no intention of doing it at all if she can get away with it.
You can force Koakuma to do anything you say by using a FAMILIAR CONTROL SPELL on her, but the spell is INCONVENIENTLY VERBOSE. She seems to take it as a personal victory whenever you have to resort to using it. Fortunately, there are much easier spells you can use as motivation.
(http://i.imgur.com/1jDn7.png)
To be honest, you wish you could just get rid of her and get a proper familiar rather than dealing with this demon contract labor, but for that you'd need to invest in the SUMMONTECH tree.
> Patchouli: Realize Koakuma would be more helpful if you would just treat her better.
Sorry, you don't have enough EMPATHY to complete this action.
(http://i.imgur.com/B0GpQ.png)
What, do you think you're still playing Ichirin or something? Sorry, but you're in PATCHYTOWN now, where it's ALL SURLY, ALL THE TIME. Maybe things would change if you went on some kind of JOURNEY OF FRIENDSHIP AND SELF-DISCOVERY, but that's not happening anytime soon, and certainly not today.
> Patchouli: Examine chalkboard.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zc65I.png)
Curses! The MAID FAIRIES have recklessly doodled all over your blackboard again. You had a perfectly good batch of notes here on how to use the Water/Wood interaction to accelerate the growth of magic mushrooms, too.
You could've sworn you hid the colored chalk. They must have gotten ahold of some of their own, somehow.
> Patchouli: Examine footrest.
(http://i.imgur.com/CiJsO.png)
This GARGOYLE FOOTREST Remi bought is in such bad taste, yet so comfortable. SO COMFORTABLE.
> Patchouli: Examine wine rack.
(http://i.imgur.com/x02Aq.png)
This is not a wine rack. It's a scroll rack.
Well, okay, it is technically a wine rack. And, okay, it currently has as much wine in it as it does scrolls. But the point is that you use it as a scroll rack.
> Patchouli: Examine phonograph.
(http://i.imgur.com/n5MHk.png)
You bought this phonograph in the 1940s, back when the SDM was still in France. It ceased to function eventually, but a few years ago you hired a kappa to fix it, and it is currently back in working form. Furthermore, the kappa upgraded it to make it capable of playing modern formats such as COMPACT DISCS, much like the KAPPATECH MODELS. However, this phonograph is powered by your magic instead of CUCUMBER BIOFUEL.
> Patchouli: Examine CD.
(http://i.imgur.com/KYgdF.png)
This is a fairly recent EXPERIMENTAL ALBUM in which Kurodani tried her hand at DROPPING SOME SICK RHYMES.
Since your ability to cast spells is tied directly to the speed at which you can recite incantations, you have taken an interest in RAP MUSIC due to the VERBAL AGILITY it promotes. At first, you didn't care much for the actual songs at all, but they've been growing on you as of late.
FOR SOME REASON, as soon as Margatroid caught wind of this, she took up rapping as well. She is currently your RAP RIVAL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HlgDj-dQpY&fmt=22).
> _
(getting to the rest of the stuff, just breaking up the update)
-
(http://i.imgur.com/KYgdF.png)
pfhahaha
> Sometime in the future, consider farming EMPATHY POINTS from Byakuren.
-
>Down a bottle of parchment.
>You mean a scroll of alcohol.
>That is, some wine.
-
> Practice our rap. Let's lay down some rhymes! Don't want to get owned by that Margatroid hussy.
-
Holy shit Busta Rhymes is the ultimate magic caster in Gensokyo
> Place something distracting to the side of chalkboard as a means to deter fairy maids, such as a bust of Remi that has been enchanted to shout expletives.
-
> Practice our rap. Let's lay down some rhymes! Don't want to get owned by that Margatroid hussy.
>Also practice laying down spells while keeping our rhymes as sick burns.
-
>Also practice laying down spells while keeping our rhymes as sick burns.
> How about we change our spellcard names to rap-tastic versions so we can llay down sick burns as we use our Fire Sign.
-
> Patchouli: Examine chalkboard.
And I thought for sure that it was plans to nuke Marisa's house (or maybe Alice's house)...
Thanks for examining the footrest too. I wasn't sure if there was some 'pet' hiding under it.
Sorry, you don't have enough EMPATHY to complete this action.
So no taking Pachi down the LOVETECH (HEARTTECH?) tree?
-
>Contemplate mixing sick rhymes with metal magic to create a Rap/Metal fusion. We'll see what the puppeteer has to say about this!
-
>Consider if there's anything useful underground that might make this trip down worthwhile.
> Check to see if you have any spells that'll get you through an oni party without dying of alcohol poisoning.
>Hey wait, what about the pics? Oh hey maybe I should put more points in the paying attention tree....
-
>Examine skill tree. Consider pros and cons of Empathy and HEARTTECH.
>Consider Power Metal as an alternative to rap.
-
Or she could just study Zatsuza's theme :getdown:
-
Zatsuza
At the risk of sounding stupid, who?
-
Some horrible bastard from a DoDonPachi game.
Well, uh, that's the name of the song, anyway. (http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=C6APUJYxw1Q)
-
> Patchouli: Consider investing in HEARTTECH for additional EMPATHY.
(http://i.imgur.com/TP6yZ.png)
Ugh no. Who on earth would buy into HEARTTECH? If you plant any new SKILL SAPLINGS at all, it'll only be to increase your health, not for trash like that.
> Patchouli: Check Skill Thicket.
(http://i.imgur.com/zqQCy.png)
Your SKILL THICKET contains exactly one SKILL TREE, the only one you'll ever need. You'll never run out of places to keep putting points here.
> Patchouli: Examine map.
(http://i.imgur.com/sMBiD.png)
Up until a few years ago, it was widely believed that making an accurate map of Gensokyo was not feasible due to the FLUCTUATING DIMENSIONS of several of its features. For instance, the VILLAGE OF MAYOHIGA can somehow be encountered ANYWHERE ON THE BORDER, although it does not surround the entirety of Gensokyo.
However, a major breakthrough was made when RAN YAKUMO discovered an algorithm for determining the width of the SANZU RIVER. This leads you to believe it should be perfectly possible to create an accurate map, as long as it provides sufficient notation.
Regardless, you are a magician, not a cartographer, so this project is little more than a curiousity.
The author cannot be assed to actually draw the map at this time. He may do so when it becomes relevant.
> Patchouli: Examine photos.
(http://i.imgur.com/8xrFc.png)
Dear old Great Granny Knowledge. Never did a finer witch walk this earth.
Whenever you look at this, you feel a little guilty for pursuing elemental magic instead of traditional witchcraft. Unfortunately, the growing magical energy needs of the 21st century can't be solved with eye of newt. Oh well, you'll learn how to turn somebody into a frog one of these days.
(http://i.imgur.com/IkB9y.png)
Here's a relatively recent one, from the day of the rocket launch. That was a fun project.
(http://i.imgur.com/PVgAJ.png)
This is a picture of you and ELLEN "FLUFFYHEAD" AUREUS, taken at WITCHCON '04.
Ellen's a pretty interesting person. Tragically, her use of magic caused her memory to start eroding; although she doesn't age, she forgets huge chunks of her life every few years. To combat this, she decided to live a life experiencing as many new things as possible. She visits Gensokyo once every five to ten years or so, bringing with her all sorts of stories to tell. Unfortunately, you need to go out and find her whenever she arrives because she doesn't always remember who you are.
(http://i.imgur.com/qXiPW.png)
Your wedding photo. Long story.
> Patchouli: Rap.
Sure, why not? You're feeling pretty active today. You just need a little drink to get yourself started.
(http://i.imgur.com/YlBW2.png)
You put on a generic beatbox track on your PHONOGRAPH, and proceed to DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT.
(http://i.imgur.com/z0wP9.png)
================================================================
DA: omg shes rappin again looooool
SS: You know, I bet you could get her respect if you beat her in a rap battle. ;*)
DA: f no
DA: rap is dumb
SS: So what you really mean to say is...
SS: ...That you have no flow.
DA: stfu
DA: i have a metric fton of flow
SS: Oh, really? Well don't leave your sister hanging!
SS: Come on, let's hear your freestyle!
SS: ~leans in and listens intently~ :*)
DA: ok fine
DA: ...
DA: listen real close cuz tehy call me koakuma
DA: im straight outta makai and
DA: uhhhhhh
DA: what rhymes with koakuma
SS: Puma?
DA: whats a puma
================================================================
(http://i.imgur.com/j1M7g.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/rFjhi.png)
Damn. You were really feeling it that time, too.
You sit down for a moment to catch a breather.
> _
(very special thanks to theshim for composing these delightful lyrics!)
-
> Check for budges in skill tree. Did that exercise proliferate our magic skills?
-
(http://i.imgur.com/PVgAJ.png)
> explain dracula
-
> explain dracula
I think that's Dr. Strange, actually
-
> Are we still married to Remi?
-
I think that's Dr. Strange, actually
That does indeed seem to be the Sorcerer Supreme
>Get required materials for bean danmaku.
-
>Throat... dry... need... more scrollcohol.
-
We're really going to need filled in on who Pachi married, because at first I was thinking that Patchouli was Remi's mom (or step-sister or step-cousin) :o. I'm so confused now. Nice rap though. I'm not much of a fan myself but I rather enjoyed that
>Investigate healing section in magitech tree. Might be something to assist with your breath (so you can both rap and use spells more)!
-
> Reminisce on the long story behind the wedding photo.
I'm kind of curious.
Also, who is SS?
-
> Purple Command Interpreter: Find Patchouli's Husband.
-
It's Remi in a tux, guys. It's drawn kind of badly so you can't tell, but Patch is shorter in that photo because it was when she was really young.
Also, who is SS?
It should be obvious if you know your touhous. Think about what her emoticon represents :V
-
...
Star Sapphire?
-
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Mystic_Square/Characters
"SideshowSorceress", a Makai character associated with the symbol *...
Well, the Stage 5 Midboss has stars on her skirt. I don't remember whether any of them has star bullets.
-
I had figured it was Luize.
Might be Kurumi, though. For all that she wasn't in MS.
-
Ominously, it's the Star Nosed Mole youkai.
-
...Star Sapphire?
What the emoticon represe- oh. Yeah, definitely that.
>Challenge Koakuma to a rap battle.
-
re: SideshowSorceress
It's Elis. (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Elis) The star on her face matches up with the emoticon, and she's encountered in Makai.
-
But HRtP isn't a Touhou game.
-
But HRtP isn't a Touhou game.
Neither is Purplequest!
-
Ah, but the lack of canonicity of PurpleQuest does nothing to validate the out-of-game GM assertion that the answer is obvious if you 'know your Touhous'. As HRtP is not a Touhou game, its characters are not Touhous, thereby rendering knowledge of Touhous useless for determining this mysterious individual.
-
The hint is exactly which Touhou would have known what a puma is.
-
Ah, but the lack of canonicity of PurpleQuest does nothing to validate the out-of-game GM assertion that the answer is obvious if you 'know your Touhous'. As HRtP is not a Touhou game, its characters are not Touhous, thereby rendering knowledge of Touhous useless for determining this mysterious individual.
I'm not reading all of that. Here is an owl.
(http://i.imgur.com/9M5yY.jpg)
-
>Throat... dry... need... more scrollcohol.
> Consider our stocks of PAPYRUM and TOMEQUILA.
-
Um... is it really Elis? Even with another person explicitly pointing out the connection, it's not all that clear to me.
The hint is exactly which Touhou would have known what a puma is.
And who the heck would that be?
-
And who the heck would that be?
Kilgamayan.
-
Ah, but the lack of canonicity of PurpleQuest does nothing to validate the out-of-game GM assertion that the answer is obvious if you 'know your Touhous'. As HRtP is not a Touhou game, its characters are not Touhous, thereby rendering knowledge of Touhous useless for determining this mysterious individual.
Given that I've dropped references to shitty OCs from a dead fangame and snuck Marvel superheroes in the backgrounds of my pictures, I think considering HRtP as canon is on the tame end of the spectrum.
And yeah it's Elis. In STUFFCANON she's Koakuma's sister. Although technically everyone in Makai would be her sister since they're all made by Shinki?? I better halfass some kind of explanation for that.
-
And yeah it's Elis.
Oh.
-
Don't take that post too seriously. <_<
This one, on the other hand...
> Why is empathy a factor in deciding not to give a damn about our underling? The situation has nothing to do with caring or kindness or ~*~feelings~*~, it's about getting shit done. We treat her a certain way, she is incredibly unhelpful. We treat her a different way, she may very well be a lot more helpful than she is now. Why are we actively hindering the maintenance of our library? What logical benefit, what tactical advantage, what power gain is there in treating our underling like dirt, that we would lose if we stopped?
> Or do we have heaps of empirical evidence that improved treatment did not see a boost in efficiency? Because if that's the case, then yeah, she can sod off.
-
STUFFCANON
PoSR features pl0x
-
As HRtP is not a Touhou game
Is this some in-joke I don't get :ohdear:
-
Not really. Just one of those things that people refuse to accept because they don't like it.
-
^ Trufax. I wish people would stop carrying on about how HRtP is a Touhou game, because they're starting to get super-irritating.
-
^ Trufax. I wish people would stop carrying on about how HRtP is a Touhou game, because they're starting to get super-irritating.
I count it because Reimu and Mima and the fact otherwise SoEW is Thouhou Project 2 for no apparent reason.
-
No one likes the originals.
-
I think we should get back on topic. <_<
>Celebrate theshim's well-crafted punnery by analyzing our alcohol tolerance, considering our otherwise frail constitution.
-
> Consider recording your debut album and starting a career as a professional rapper
-
> Identify spell to increase alcohol tolerance.
-
Wha-- uhh--
screw me for confining my search to the EoSD cast and affiliations thereof ugh
> Make a rapping spellcard, and make it so that you don't run out of breath in the middle.
-
> Suddenly, distractions
-
Can't believe this didn't occur to me until just now.
Yomama Kurodani's fat beatz (http://i45.tinypic.com/6oq3qe.png)
-
Can't believe this didn't occur to me until just now.
Yomama Kurodani's fat beatz (http://i45.tinypic.com/6oq3qe.png)
:colonveeplusalpha:
-
:colonveeplusalpha:
Seconded.
-
:colonveeplusalpha:
Seconded.
I think I need some brain bleach.
-
:colonveeplusalpha:
-
I think shes Cute!
Our own little (big) Nargle-chan!
-
> Patchouli: Notice Sakuya.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZEv0Z.png)
Hiding behind a bookshelf, you notice the HEAD MAID of the SCARLET DEVIL MANSION, SAKUYA IZAYOI. GOD DAMNIT. She must've been there the whole time.
> Patchouli: POKER FACE.
(http://i.imgur.com/JqhEt.png)
You greet Sakuya and calmly tell her that you were practicing your vocal exercises.
You ask her if she would like to give it a try. Shockingly, she agrees.
(http://i.imgur.com/fHt1C.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/26VwD.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/sDYN9.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ZpeNM.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/j2D7q.png)
Sakuya apologizes and says she will practice her flow for next time.
She proceeds to change the subject and asks about the apparent CODE BLACK that was called. You explain that you had an intruder, but that you dealt with it personally. Sakuya apologizes once more for not being there to handle it herself.
She changes the subject once again, and tells you that Remilia wanted to know what you will be WEARING TO THE PARTY today.
(http://i.imgur.com/yfAZo.png)
You inform her that you have no intention of dressing up for it.
Sakuya says that Remilia has ordered everyone to look their best for the party. While she doubts the order includes a high-standing resident of the mansion such as you, she says that Remilia would likely appreciate it very much if you were to wear something stylish to help the SDM look its best.
You say you'll consider it (and maybe you will). Sakuya curtseys and takes her exit.
> Patchouli: Check scroll rack again.
(http://i.imgur.com/xXoIy.png)
You grab some more READING MATERIAL to help yourself relax.
> Patchouli: Consider professional rap career.
Oh hell no. Even if you had the skill to make it happen, you'd hate being up on a stage in front of a screaming crowd.
You'd prefer to keep it UNDERGROUND. You would have yourself become a RAPMASTER only spoken of in hushed tones, crushing the errant fools who dare seek you out to challenge you in RAP BATTLES. You would become a symbol of fear in the MERCILESS BATTLEFIELD of PHAT BEATS.
But not yet. You have a long way to go.
> Patchouli: Consider just pretending to be nice to Koakuma to make her get more work done.
(http://i.imgur.com/4Lqeb.png)
There's a simple reason you won't do this, and it's a reason that's important to just about everyone in the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
That reason is PRIDE.
If you have to lower yourself to the point of sucking up to your own familiar, then what does that say about you as a magician? If she won't respect your commands as her master, then there's no need to waste words on her when a fireball will do. This is how it will be until she learns her place.
> Patchouli: Look at the wedding picture again.
(http://i.imgur.com/yH5qp.png)
You begin to recall a LONG STORY...
-
Time to stay a while and listen, eh?
Koakuma's research is, by the way, the cherry on top of this Pastel quality cake.
-
Sakuya for BEST RAPPER
-
Time to stay a while and listen, eh?
Koakuma's research is, by the way, the cherry on top of this Pastel quality cake.
Agreed.
-
> Stuffman: Commission Edible to write better Sakuya raps.
-
> continue recalling long story.
-
http://i.imgur.com/xXoIy.png
OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FEEL YOU IN THIS IMAGE PATCHBRO
>Reminisce with slightly more fondness than usual.
-
>Cue Bob Seger's Night Moves for flashback.
-
>Continue recalling long story
Yomama Kurodani's fat beatz (http://i45.tinypic.com/6oq3qe.png)
I really should have seen this coming.
-
This is probably gonna take at least another week to make. Please watch warmly.
-
>MotK and other viewers: Watch warmly.
-
>Edible: Watch REALLY warmly.
(Edit: just keeping the thread from autolock)
-
This is probably gonna take at least another week to make. Please watch warmly.
:(
-
Edible u dum. RPG only autolocks at 2 months.
-
Edible u dum. RPG only autolocks at 2 months.
:derp:
-
[Ѕ] > Patchouli: Reminisce. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcODdhzpTj8)
[ followup tomorrow, too tired ]
-
...Well then :V
-
[Ѕ] > Patchouli: Reminisce. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcODdhzpTj8)
[ followup tomorrow, too tired ]
o_o
-
Speechless.
-
Must post to say that that was great.
-
That was very nice I must say, though the fact that mostly everyone had silloutte-eyes made them seem strange with their facial expressions.
-
Wow. Just...Wow. This was worth the wait...It tells so much. I knew Remi was devious, but this...You did a good job, Stuffman. ^_^ I wish you could do more of these, but I enjoy the short videos too.
EDIT: Moved the commands into a seperate post.
-
Th ... that was .. too awesome @.@ *falls over*
-
Well done, Stuffmangen.
-
Amazing Stuffman. Simply amazing. Remilia was almost humourously similar to Dio Brando there, quite funny considering Sakuya. Though we really shouldn't derail this too much now should we? On with the show!
-
I'd love to see more of Grandma Knowledge.
-
Oh mai gawd baby patchy
> How much do we know of our Sister-in-law [Flandre], and when did we first meet her... and how many things did she break when we became aware of her?
> Is our ill health a result of chain-through the gut and slamming into the mansion? Or did we have it before?
-
Well worth the wait. Nice job, Stuffman.
-
That was incredible. Really awesome!
The marriage bit was funny :3
-
Little late to the party...
But wow; that was... just wow! That just shot Patchy up in my likes again.
Not sure the same could be said about Remilia. :derp:
Awesome job, Stuffman; worth the wait, indeed. XD
-
I'd love to see more of Grandma Knowledge.
Indeed. The wait was well worth it; I just hope you're recovering from it well, Stuffman.
> Rikako: Complain that the reminiscing isn't at all relevant, and that the witches got what was coming to them.
> Patchouli: If we were to dress up for the party, what other outfits would we have?
> Patchouli: Examine current spellcards.
-
That was definitely worth the wait. :3
-
> That was awesome. All the waiting was worth it.
-
Ah, this must be what it's like to bathe in pure awesome.
-
> I didn't get all of that. Text summary, please.
(http://i.imgur.com/oOgNO.png)
You never knew your parents; as far back as you can remember, you were living with your Great Granny Knowledge. Granny was the oldest and most respected witch of her coven. You had a traditional witch's upbringing, learning how to brew potions and lay curses, and how to work the cauldron while unironically using the phrase "bubble, bubble, toil and trouble". Granny took good care of you; you were about as happy as a little girl that was up to her teeth in the occult could be.
You were at least somewhat familiar with the rest of the witches. Granny's coven had taken ownership of a forest in northern France, stepping out every once in a while to hassle the nearby villagers and make sure they kept their distance. The mountain you lived on was also in the shadow of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, home of the dread vampire Remilia Scarlet, which nobody dared approach; the coven was able to live in peace.
Unfortunately, that all ended one night when an army of torches and pitchforks marched in. You were woken up in the middle of the night by Granny, entrusted to one of her fellow witches, and ordered to run. An ordinary witch is a charmer, a fortune teller, a medicine woman, or something of the like - no match for an angry mob. So, the coven fled their homes, leaving only Granny to stay behind. You only remember hearing that she was going to "buy some time". Except for catching sight of her cottage set aflame (an image that will forever be burned into your mind), that was the last time you ever saw her. Neither you nor any of the other witches would ever know what became of her.
The witches decided to run to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, to beseech Remilia Scarlet for sanctuary against their hunters. Remilia agreed, but only on the condition that all of you became her servants...and her slaves. With nowhere to run, the witches hesitantly agreed.
Remilia was a cruel master. She would assign overwhelming amounts of work or otherwise ridiculous tasks, sometimes ordering them to be redone over and over if she discovered some imperceptible flaw in the work done. All of this was apparently for her own amusement, as she would cackle with delight after leaving you to toil away. Woe became any who invoked her temper; she would often deal out harsh beatings, leaving the witches crumpled in pain. Ever fearful, you always worked around Remilia with the utmost care, and avoided the worst of it yourself.
Eventually, the witches decided they had had enough, and plotted to murder the mistress in her sleep, claiming the Scarlet Devil Mansion for themselves.
It didn't work out.
After that night, you were the only one left. As you were the most "loyal" of her servants, Remilia had taken a liking to you, and decided to promote you from being her slave to her pet.
The months that followed were intensely stressful. Although you had Remilia's favor, you were terrified of her, and dared not defy anything she said. You were dragged along with whatever whims Remilia had at the time, whether it was terrorizing the townsfolk or indulging in whatever the night life had to offer (often both at the same time).
Apparently sensing your discomfort, Remilia shocked you with a marriage proposal, seeming to think that the commitment would put you at ease. Of course, to you it was nothing more than a life sentence. But you didn't dare to say no. In front of a congregation of demons, you are Remilia were joined in unholy matrimony. It was not a marriage of equals; rather than becoming Remilia's wife, you became her concubine - her property.
Your tempestuous life with Remilia didn't change much thereafter. She was always dragging you around, causing trouble, making you listen to her arrogant musings. It was almost too much for you to bear. And eventually, she caught on.
Once Remilia realized that you were not simply shy, but that you genuinely disliked her, she put you out of sight and out of mind (just as she had done with her own sister, though you didn't know of her at the time). You were sealed inside the Scarlet Devil Mansion's immense library in complete solitude, with the sole exception of the Servant Fliers that brought you your food. You were a prisoner; a locked girl.
However, after some time inside the library you began to realize that immense power was at your fingertips. With your background in witchcraft, you were able to quickly make sense of the countless tomes at your disposal and begin learning the art of the magician.
You don't know how long you were in the library. Ten years, at least, doing nothing but amassing as much arcane power as possible. After the first few years, you could have escaped the library if you wanted, but you stayed, biding your time.
Maybe you wanted to get revenge on Remilia for killing your grandmother's coven. Maybe you thought she was a blight on the world that needed to be destroyed. Maybe you just wanted to finish her so that you could be sure she would never come after you. It didn't matter what the motive you came up with; the way you saw it, the only way your life could move forward was to defeat Remilia Scarlet. After years of exhausting study that had left you damaged, physically and emotionally, you completed the Philosopher's Stone, attaining eternal youth and great power for yourself. It was time.
After making preparations, on a full moon's night, you obliterated the seal on the library, marched up to Remilia's throne room, and challenged her to a duel. Her reaction could only be described as sheer amusement, as she mocked your newfound abilities. You responded by attacking her with everything you had.
It didn't work out.
Some time later, you awoke in your old bed in Remilia's room, your body battered but recovering thanks to the power of the Philosopher's Stone, and surprisingly, Remilia's aid. She told you that you were the first person that had ever managed to wound her, and that she had decided you were too valuable to dispose of. You couldn't find any words to say, and merely drifted back into unconsciousness. You were tired. So tired.
You were bedridden as you healed over the next few weeks. With the way she spoke to you, it seemed Remilia had begun to see you as a peer, and your will to fight against her melted away, leaving only the fatigue that the last decade of magical study had left on your body and mind.
You had been in your prison so long that you no longer knew how to live outside of it. And so, you retired back to the library, not to study magic anymore, but just to live among the books in solitude and reflect on what had become of you. Remilia left you to your own devices. She never quite said she was sorry, but many years later she admitted that what she did was wrong. That's probably the closest thing to an apology that anyone will ever get out of her.
Since that time, Remilia has changed quite a bit, but you suppose you've mostly stayed the same...
~
That was some pretty heavy reminiscing. You better put down your READING MATERIAL for a while.
> Patchouli: Consider marriage.
(http://i.imgur.com/bDnf9.png)
Most people have no idea that you and Remilia are married, and the two of you never acknowledge it nowadays. You keep your ring in your room with various other irreplacables.
You are still technically Remilia's CONCUBINE, which under DEMON COMMONLAW makes you her property. This sounds PRETTY CREEPY, but it does offer some fringe benefits.
To begin with, nobody can steal your soul, since technically it belongs to her. When working with the dark arts and magical artifacts, this is actually a pretty nice perk. Furthermore, you can make use of Remilia's INCREDIBLY HIGH DEMON RANK in all matters of FIENDISH LAW, which, for instance, allowed you to competitively negotiate Koakuma's contract (although in retrospect this has turned out to be NOT SUCH A GREAT DEAL). Also, if you die and are sent to hell, you will automatically acquire a DEMON RANK of your own right from the get-go, so when the Yama lectures you about sending you there you can just tell her to SIT ON IT.
You can't get a divorce without Remilia's approval. She has to release you. She would probably - PROBABLY - let you go if you asked, but there really isn't any reason to do it. You're already closer with Remilia than anyone else in the world, and you trust her with your life.
In the hundred years you've spent together, you've come to love her. Not really in a romantic sense, though, but not quite in a family sense either. It's difficult to describe.
If only there was a SPECIFIC WORD for this kind of relationship.
> Stuffman: Draw shipping grid.
(http://i.imgur.com/w2kbp.png)
> NOT THE QUADRANTS. ANYTHING BUT THE QUADRANTS.
(http://i.imgur.com/QT7qe.png)
Ohhh yesss, the quadrants!
Hussie, you magnificent bastard! You've changed the face of shipping forever! Now we can ship four times as much! FOUR TIMES!
Wait, shit. What was all that crap I wanted to draw? Never mind, enter some commands.
> _
[ I already have tons of material to work with that I'll get to in a bit, but go ahead anyway ]
-
:o :o :o :o :o :o :V
Best. Update. Ever.
-
>If we're from northern France, why is our name English? >=|
>Make a mental note to kick Koakuma for having to recollect all that.
-
>Make a mental note to kick Koakuma for having to recollect all that.
>Twice.
-
>Twice.
>Why not just light her on fire again? (http://i.imgur.com/1jDn7.png) It'll probably hurt more!
>Think of what else we have to wear to the party. Do we even have other clothes stashed somewhere?
-
> Patchouli: Contemplate how Remi managed to get this massive collection of books, and wonder why the heck she would lock you in there if it's just going to screw her over later.
> Patchouli: Wonder what it would take to replace your chalkboard with some kind of anti-smudge version, or at least put up a fairy repellant spell.
> Furthermore, where was Flan during all this? Was she still under banishment during the wedding?
> Also, contemplate the strength of the seal on Flan's room if she's still staying there. We don't want her busting out...
-
> Enough screwing around. Let's get ready to party. And by ready you mean armed. And by party you mean discourage partygoers from bothering you.
-
And by ready you mean armed
>And by armed you mean >retrieve arms fr(ry
-
> Remilia: Charisma Break.
(http://i.imgur.com/FiU83.png)
> Patchouli: Think about old wounds.
Despite having been IMPALED and having nearly EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY broken all those years ago, you are perfectly fine. Not only have you created the Philosopher's Stone, you have also become a FULL YOUKAI. You can eventually recover from even the most disastrous of physical wounds. That said, the Philosopher's Stone is no Hourai Elixir, so NOT GETTING KILLED is still very much a concern.
Your terrible health can be owed entirely to your sedentary lifestyle. You have nobody to blame but yourself!
> Patchouli: Use magic to make yourself better. Stronger. Faster.
(http://i.imgur.com/qQLAK.png)
If only solving your health problems was that easy!
Unfortunately, for the time being you think it'd be a good idea to avoid PERSONAL TRANSMUTATION MAGIC. Your difficulty in keeping up with the recitations of your spells, especially ones you're not accustomed to, makes MISCASTS a significant concern. You have enough mastery over your ELEMENTAL MAGIC that you can safely have them fizzle out, but miscasting spells that change your own body can have SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES (as anyone who has watched a significant number of cartoons can tell you).
You can get around this by BREWING POTIONS instead, but this is not often worth it due to the generally short durations relative to the time and effort it takes to make them, not to mention the complications presented in gathering the ingredients. Regardless, they are an option if you find yourself needing SUPER STRENGTH, or something of the sort, for whatever reason.
> Patchouli: Check spell cards.
You have ALL THE SPELLCARDS. ALL OF THEM. Well, all of yours. As far as you know, Kirisame is the only person with more spellcards than you, but a bunch of them are jokes anyway so whatever.
But unlike her, you have all your spellcards on you at any given time. You store them inside your SPELLBOOK, which you always carry with you. Your versatility in danmaku is unsurpassed!
(http://i.imgur.com/oujLB.png)
While you're at it, you examine your SPELLBOOK. This book, created by you, offers a wide variety of features for the busy magician:
- It can instantly flip to any page with the contents you're looking for.
- It can automatically organize any spells you write into it, so that they are always in alphabetical order.
- It can temporarily copy long passages of text from other books and store them inside itself for later perusal.
- It contains a partial catalogue of the books in the SDM's library, and where to find them (not always accurate, due to your LAZY FAMILIAR'S POOR ORGANIZATION and a CHRONIC PROBLEM WITH KIRISAME-RELATED THEFTS).
- It is, for all practical purposes, indestructible; furthermore, it can be imbued with magic to propel it at high speeds, making it suitable as a PHYSICAL WEAPON.
- It smells nice.
As you can see, there is basically no reason not to carry this thing everywhere.
> Patchouli: Think about Flandre.
(http://i.imgur.com/2k948.png)
Your first encounter with FLANDRE (which occured when she was let out by Remilia for the Centennial Festival in 1900) nearly resulted in you being obliterated by her EAGERNESS TO PLAY. Thankfully, she seems to have settled down quite a bit since moving to Gensokyo. Hopefully she'll be able to function as normally as any of the other SDM's residents someday, although unfortunately you have your doubts. She just has way too much power for her own good.
Remilia decided to allow Flandre out of the basement shortly after the SCARLET MIST INCIDENT. Kirisame had broken into the mansion again, and ran afoul of Flan, who had broken out; Remi was so shocked at Marisa's survival in the following firefight that she decided Gensokyo might be a rough enough place that it could handle Flan being on the prowl.
Flandre is still forbidden from leaving the mansion, an edict she has thankfully been happy to follow (so far). However, she still breaks things (and sometimes people) with ALARMING FREQUENCY. Flan-related maintenance accounts for more than two-thirds of the SDM's monthly budget. While you do lend MORAL SUPPORT for eventually introducing Flandre to society, you personally prefer to avoid her; you only see her once every few weeks. Having her around makes you nervous.
She's just a sticky subject in general. From a pragmatic standpoint, you can't say it was a bad idea to seal her in the basement in the first place, but you know Remilia had other reasons for doing it...
> Patchouli: Go get ready for the party.
Sigh. You guess you'd better go to your room to get dressed and get your stuff.
(http://i.imgur.com/R7Fx1.png)
You attempt to stand up, but you are hampered by all that READING you did. You flop back down in your chair and call for a fairy maid to go get you some coffee.
You relax and pick up one of the books at your desk, when SUDDENLY!
(http://i.imgur.com/m5lhB.png)
Everything goes dark!
(http://i.imgur.com/QWAOF.png)
Oh, it's just her again.
This is RUMIA, a darkness youkai that lives in the general area of the Misty Lake. She is probably the LEAST ANNOYING of your regular trespassers. But still a trespasser. She usually bothers you because she wants to KNOW THINGS. Her darkness aura feels kind of nice, though.
The other members of the SDM are familiar with her as well. She's played with Flandre a few times and has not once left without GRIEVOUS INJURIES, but she keeps coming back so you guess she doesn't care.
Rumia asks you if you have any books about DIGGING TUNNELS. You inform her that you are fresh out.
She responds in a very predictable manner.
> _
-
> Patchouli: "That is so."
> Patchouli: Offer her a book on digging holes instead.
-
> Tell her who borrowed the last book.
> Consider feeding Koakuma to Rumia. Dem teef look chompy enough to do the job.
-
> Say "that is so~" and politely ask her to leave.
> Figure out how to make glasses that can pierce through the darkness Rumia creates.
-
> We have shit to do, sorry; Sun Sign: Bright-Ass Flashlight.
-
> Ask if she's hungry.
> If yes, feed Koakuma to her.
-
> Wonder if Rumia's lack of BEING TOTALLY BROKEN from playing with Flan is due to Vampires and their affinity to DARKNESS, so she dosen't kill the DARKNESS MAKER.
[Fixed from Grevious Injuries to Death, because Kyu~
Also I'm a derp, but WHAT'S NEW THERE]
-
> Wonder if Rumia's lack of GRIEVOUS INJURIES from playing with Flan is due to Vampires and their affinity to DARKNESS, so she dosen't hurt the DARKNESS MAKER.
> Reread the part where it talks about GRIEVOUS INJURIES.
-
>Ask why she wants to learn how to dig tunnels.
>If the answer indicates the possibility of one big comedic pileup underground set a scrying spell to record.
-
> Give her a book on filling up tunnels and tell her to read it backwards.
-
> Ask if she's hungry.
> If yes, feed Koakuma to her.
> If not, feed Koakuma to her anyway.
> Sigh. "And why do you want a book on DIGGING TUNNELS?"
-
>"That is so."
>Feed Koakuma to her. Maybe she'll become a Darkness Demon Youkai.
-
> Wonder just what good digging anything would be for a youkai like her.
-
Sorry if this has been asked before, I've been following from tumblr
>Are black and brown both covered in the BRUNETTE Command Interpreter?
>Similar query for white and yellow a la BLONDE
-
>Is That Souplex
-
> Use the fact that Rumia visits us and no one else when she desires to KNOW THINGS as a small EGO BOOST.
-
> Hair of the dog. Try the GINOIRE this time.
-
> Hair of the dog. Try the GINOIRE this time.
> If available, mix with TOMEIC.
-
Sorry if this has been asked before, I've been following from tumblr
>Are black and brown both covered in the BRUNETTE Command Interpreter?
>Similar query for white and yellow a la BLONDE
I'll go into more detail on the Command Interpreter at a relevant point in the story, but the types are: SILVER, BLACK, BRUNETTE, PINK, RED, ORANGE, BLONDE, GREEN, BLUE, and PURPLE.
SILVER encompasses both white and grey.
ORANGE is the least populated, as Sunny Milk is the only character with orange hair. Chen and Orange are the only other members.
BLONDE is by far the most populated.
EDIT: Forgot pink, sorry. Pink occupies a different part of the moe personality spectrum than red, so it has its own division :V
-
>so RED includes pink?
-
O4rfish's avatar brings up an interesting question...Does Iku fall under the PURPLE command interpreter because of her hair?
-
Iku is blue.
-
Iku is blue.
Really? It doesn't look that blue to me...It's purple with a touch of blue.
I even ran the color hex codes of Iku's hair from her official portrait from SWR, and compared them to these (http://www.color-hex.com/color/4c47af) tints. They're pretty close to the color of the original Game Boy Advance's (solid) indigo color, which as far as I can tell is definitely purple.
-
She's blue enough that the only command we can give her is Play that Funky Music and similar.
-
She's blue enough that the only command we can give her is Play that Funky Music and similar.
And let's not forget Ride The Lightning, Call Down The Thunder, and numerous electrical attacks from other non-Touhou sources. :V
-
Here's a hint: Iku has already appeared in the story.
Find her, and you will find your answer.
-
> Hair of the dog. Try the GINOIRE this time.
> If available, mix with TOMEIC.
>Pff you so silly, the obvious choice would be SANGRIARCANUM.
-
Here's a hint: Iku has already appeared in the story.
Find her, and you will find your answer.
She's ... not in any of your posts so far. I am guessing you mean she is in the game world somewhere, and we have yet to encounter her. Same with Udonge, really.
-
You guys are silly. She took like a minute to find.
-
You guys are silly. She took like a minute to find.
I'mma kick you now, and steal your hawk-like eyes in the process.
Still, that was a pretty damn clever hiding spot. I only just now found her. :V
-
I find it humerous that redheads and gingers have different command interpreters.
> Skip the booze puns and find some COFFEE.
> Contemplate getting a STARBUCKS for the LIBRARY.
-
Gensokyo doesn't have STARBUCKS. It has FAIRYBUCKS.
-
> Patchouli: Feed Koakuma to Rumia.
Sure, okay.
(http://i.imgur.com/oiiW7.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/DAdfU.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/3J8s4.png)
What's the matter?
(http://i.imgur.com/4ydve.png)
Isn't this what you wanted?
(http://i.imgur.com/97mHI.png)
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
But no, you don't actually do this.
(http://i.imgur.com/eTmUd.png)
> Patchouli: Ask Rumia what she wants the book for.
Rumia says that her friend WRIGGLE told her that she heard there is a party UNDERGROUND today, but they don't know how to DIG THEIR WAY DOWN TO IT.
(http://i.imgur.com/4zo5d.png)
You inform her that she can reach the UNDERGROUND simply by travelling through the DARK BLOWHOLE.
She asks what that is. Choosing the SIMPLEST EXPLANATION POSSIBLE, you tell her it's a cave.
She asks how to get to it. The entrance is KIND OF FAR AWAY and you're not really sure how to explain to her how to get there in a way she'll understand, and you are currently too WELL-READ to draw her a map.
You tell Rumia to hang out for a little while until Sakuya comes around again, and that she can give her directions. May as well enjoy that DARKNESS AURA for a while.
> Patchouli: Take pride in being recognized for your KNOWLEDGE.
You guess it does feel nice to be helpful, but in Rumia's case pretty much anyone could answer her questions.
(http://i.imgur.com/nsOQ0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/quVMZ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/9AP3T.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/VezNq.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/doli7.png)
You're still not sure if she actually understood your answer to that one.
Regardless, you don't really mind Rumia that much since she claims that she considers you a FRIEND, although her definition of "friend" is not particularly heartwarming.
(http://i.imgur.com/1v0uW.png)
The only point of contention between you is that you refuse to remove her RIBBON, even though she knows you are capable of doing so. Good thing anyone who knows how to take it off can recognize how dangerous that would be.
> Patchouli: Go get dressed.
(http://i.imgur.com/yLs2k.png)
It'll be a while before any of those fairies makes their way back here with some coffee, and you need to get to your room and get ready pretty soon. You read ONE MORE ARTICLE to prepare yourself to float over there.
(http://i.imgur.com/dIdGd.png)
Rumia hangs around your desk as you suggested. She elects to entertain herself by deliberately activating your TRAPPED BOOKS.
> Patchouli: Hassle Koakuma.
All that READING and REMINISCING has left you with some pent-up frustration. You decide to take it out on your familiar with some BRUTAL PHYSICAL ABUSE.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZbnWV.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/yOGLs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nhiRz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/viUwi.png)
If Remilia insists on you going to this shindig to bolster her numbers, she'll probably want your familiar too.
Koakuma runs off to her chambers to get ready.
> Patchouli: Enter room.
You head to a SEEMINGLY ARBITRARY PART OF THE LIBRARY (since it's Saturday, a small section of not-particularly-valuable books on earth magic) and think your secret password SEVEN TIMES.
(http://i.imgur.com/20Oal.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/IjQIl.png)
You are magically whisked away to your PRIVATE CHAMBERS. This secret room is small, but is basically impenetrable, and contains your most VALUABLE AND/OR EMBARRASSING POSSESSIONS.
-
Pffffffffft hahahaha. This was great. So many good pix. :3c
> Why do you have your UNFORGIVABLE PRON in such an obvious spot?! What if Seiga phased through the wall?
> Check the safe to see if everything inside it is...Safe.
> Summon Wardrobe...And make sure it doesn't have any passages to Narnia. Just because we don't change outfits doesn't mean we can't swap into a fresh pair of PJs.
-
>Do not, under any circumstances, look in the box of UNFORGIVABLE PORN.
>Instead, get dressed for the party.
-
> Examine surroundings. Skip UNFORGIVEABLE PORN, you know what's in there. Make sure to include the POSTER.
> Koakuma outfit choices, since Patchy won't.
-
> Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?
-
> Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?
> That'll just be disappointingly predictable.
> Take a powernap.
-
> How does Rumia react when you tell her you won't remove the ribbon?
> What's in the Vault?
> What's the figurine on the desk?
> Also, make sure Koakuma doesn't enjoy the party by putting her on 'Don't let Rumia eat anyone' duty.
Also:
Rumia: Why am I so flat?
Patchy: Because ZUN can't draw curves.
-
> Is that a swanky poster we see? Or not?
(EDIT: you have no fucking idea how close i was to making a Life of Maid refrence when i saw the pr0n.)
-
> Turn on the lights.
> Or have we accidentally brought Rumia along?
-
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
> No. Do a dance! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoqubSvqAS8)
> Examine safe.
-
> Examine safe.
> Quickly retrieve arms from it.
-
> Quickly retrieve arms from it.
> Afterwards come up with a new joke, this one's so shabby it qualifies as a health hazard.
-
>Retrieve HANDFUL OF FRIED BEANS and MONEY
-
>Search bed mattress for SECRET ITEMS.
>Check self out in mirror.
>Examine the UNFORGIVABLE PORN chest to ensure that YOUR COLLECTION IS INTACT.
-
> Examine trophy on the bookshelf and recall any secret words related to it.
> Byakuren + Remilia: Charisma Namusan.
-
> Byakuren + Remilia: Charisma Namusan.
>Charismusan.
>Namubreak.
-
>Has Patchouli ever considered Patchouli<3<Koakuma?
-
> Byakuren + Remilia: Charisma Namusan.
this
-
>Edible: Stop your eyes from wandering back to the Rumia dating sim image (http://i.imgur.com/1v0uW.png).
-
> Contemplate ways of forgiving self.
-
> Patchouli: Examine bookshelf.
This shelf is filled with JUVENILE SHOUNEN MANGA, most of which you have acquired from Kourindou; it is a guilty pleasure of yours that you must keep secret AT ALL COSTS. You are proud to possess the full run of DRAGON BALL Z, and are working on completing various other series as well.
(http://i.imgur.com/fYQR9.png)
This is a PRIZED FIGURINE of your favorite villain, FRIEZA. He is a fine case study on how to be a SURLY ASSHOLE and do it with class. He reminds you of Remi in some ways.
You wish there was somebody in Gensokyo that you could accuse of MILITARY INSURRECTION. You'd be quoting him SO HARD.
(http://i.imgur.com/2l5kZ.png)
Next to it is your GOKU LAMP. Goku is the strongest! His power level is MAXIMUM. You bet he could even beat up the MOONBITCHES.
While you are not too keen on exposing your eyes to bright light because of how much READING you just did, you'd better turn it on so you can get dressed. You activate the lamp by raising its arms.
(http://i.imgur.com/Raz2a.png)
It used to play a VOICE CLIP when activated, but you disabled it because it GOT OLD FAST.
> Patchouli: Examine poster.
(http://i.imgur.com/KOABt.png)
This is an authentic STAR WARS movie poster. You were lucky enough to see this in theaters with Remi shortly before the SDM moved to Gensokyo. It was a great movie, but you think a PREQUEL would be even better. Just imagine how incredible it would be with the filmmaking technology the outside world has by now!
> Patchouli: Examine mirror.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
(http://i.imgur.com/usQJx.png)
Okay then.
Your MAGIC MIRROR is kind of a smartass. You have a far more useful CRYSTAL BALL back out in the library that you use for scrying purposes.
> Patchouli: Do not, under any circumstances, open the box of Unforgivable Porn.
(http://i.imgur.com/2ding.png)
Of course not. It's got enough EXPLOSIVE RUNES inside to blow a man's head clean off. This tempting trap is a last defense against anyone clever enough to get inside your room, and will hopefully destroy all the evidence of what they've seen here, except for the stuff in the safe.
Your real UNFORGIVABLE PORN is hidden somewhere far more secure!
> Patchouli: Check under mattress.
(http://i.imgur.com/bOfSr.png)
You decide to pull it out and take a quick peek.
(http://i.imgur.com/NFSFJ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/6MU9i.png)
Yes, you're seeing that right. You paid the tengu TOP DOLLAR for these. It's a picture of Alice Margatroid in the bath. And it's got a perfect shot of her pair of smooth, silky, voluptuous...
(http://i.imgur.com/CCpOC.png)
...HANDS. Margatroid has the BEST HANDS IN GENSOKYO. Her dolls do all the work, so they're incredibly soft. Each nail is a work of art, flawlessly manicured at all times. And to top it all off, they blend form and function with the legendary dexterity of her fingers. Margatroid has hands that work miracles. Hands that anyone, or anything, would yearn to be felt by.
You're getting a little hot and bothered here. Better put these away!
> Patchouli: Examine safe.
(http://i.imgur.com/LIdZE.png)
You open your VAULT-TEC EXTRA-SAFE SAFE, which was somehow manufactured to be fully immune to both physical and magical tampering; every important member of the SDM has one just for themselves. Remi refuses to disclose where she got these.
Inside is the following:
- Some old pictures and other knickknacks you managed to recover from the charred ruins of Granny Knowledge's cottage.
- Your wedding ring.
- Your contract with your familiar.
- An unbelievably valuable bottle of wine from the same year you were born. This is to be saved for an END OF THE WORLD SCENARIO.
- A first-run Obi-Wan Kenobi action figure. IN THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING, HOLY SHIT.
- Your MONEY. This is actually the least valuable thing in here, but you don't want Kirisame constantly running off with it and needing Remi to replace it. You have a sum of about 50,000 YEN in here. How much do you want to bring?
> _
[ Outfits tomorrow. Also, while drawing that poster I realized how much I'd like to see a Star Wars anime with Luke as a reverse trap. ]
-
>TAKE ALL THE MONEY.
-
> Remilia: Charismusan.
> Byakuren: Namubreak.
> Patchouli: Take about 7500; that should cover enough.
> Patchouli: Examine old knickknacks.
-
>TAKE ALL THE MONEY.
>Yes, all of it. What could possibly go wrong?
-
>Fantasize about stealing the Mona Lisa.
-
> Why are we keeping Koakuma's contract in a safe place? If something unfortunate happened to it, wouldn't that be a good thing?
-
> Lob spiteful magics at mirror.
> Consider taking roughly 14813 yen.
-
> Take more yen than you actually have.
-
> Lem: Feel immense guilt that you missed the update going up. ;_;
> Patchy: Recall the last time it was when you changed your vault combo, you never know when someone might decipher your secret password or something. Also, take half the yen. No sense in spending all of it if you don't have to.
EDIT:
> Also, did Patchy ever watch DBZ Abridged? If so, how does she feel about it?
-
> Remember that it is not wine, it's READING MATERIAL.
> Ask the Mirror who's the least fairest. Proceed to smash it with an Earth/Metal sign spellcard if it answers you.
-
>Take precisely 6,900 yen.
>Mukyuu.
>Consider retrieving Crystal Ball after changing clothes.
>Contract the Tengu to take more pictures of Alice using more SKILLFUL FINGERING POSITIONS.
-
Oh right, I forgot to mention:
> How long has the SDM been in Gensokyo? Had to be before 1999-ish, didn't it?
-
> How long has the SDM been in Gensokyo? Had to be before 1999-ish, didn't it?
> Judging by the STAR WARS poster, it was still in the real world in the 1980s.
-
> Fawn over Obi-Wan Kenobi action figure.
-
> Judging by the STAR WARS poster, it was still in the real world in the 1980s.
I meant 1999 was when the first prequel came out :P
-
> Consider Remilia's hands
-
EoSD came out in 2002, right?
seconding
> Remi: Charismusan
> Byakuren: Namubreak
-
> Take ALL YO YENS
-
> How long has the SDM been in Gensokyo? Had to be before 1999-ish, didn't it?
I'm going to avoid naming specific dates for things since I think that'll turn into a quagmire pretty fast.
Partial update, since I ran out of time tonight.
> Byakuren / Remilia: Namubreak / Charismusan.
(http://i.imgur.com/3dDF4.png)
> Patchouli: Take all of it.
You take ALL THE YENS. ALL OF THEM.
The oni happen to be in possession of quite a few quaint, old-timey magical artifacts. Most of them are booze-related, but that doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't want them. You grab all 50,000 yen in case you see something valuable you want! At least that way you won't have to beg Remi for it.
You update your inventory.
WEAPON: Spellbook
ARMOR: Cat's Pajamas
HAT: Patchouli Potpourri Cap
?: 50,000
F$: 0
You don't really carry much around. Your abysmal VIM stat gives you a minimal weight capacity anyway.
Oh, but you do have your BACKUP CANDY. You pull it out of your cap to check on it.
(http://i.imgur.com/GSJZe.png)
You confirm the safety of the two pieces of GOOD & PLENTY, the delicious chewy licorice candy. You're not sure which one is the GOOD and which one is the PLENTY, though.
> Patchouli: Fawn over Obi-Wan.
(http://i.imgur.com/LjFL0.png)
No need to cry for Old Ben. He's more powerful than we can possibly imagine now.
> Patchouli: Destroy contract.
Nope, that won't do any good. Her agency has a copy too.
Not even the mutual agreement of you and your familiar can cancel your contract. Your creditors are dead set on collecting their payment.
> Patchouli: Ask magic mirror who the least fairest is.
(http://i.imgur.com/YjZ0P.png)
The mirror replies that it is BACON GREASE, THE FATTEST FAIRY IN GENSOKYO.
> Patchouli: Evaluate quality of various hands.
(http://i.imgur.com/SQBg7.png)
Look at the way she parades her hands around. What a little exhibitionist. You will admit that Remilia's hands are of exceptional quality, but they're not really your type. You like long, sexy fingers, and Remi's hands are quite small.
You go over a quick list of all the HANDS you are familiar with.
KOAKUMA: Wears cheap fake nails, uses tacky nail polish colors, sometimes uses stickers or glitter on them. Incredibly trashy.
SAKUYA: Her nails are kept very trim and her hands are a little rough from all the housework she does, which is a shame since they have a nice shape to them.
MEILING: Her hands were probably long and gorgeous at one point, but they've been utterly battered by her martial arts training. A tragedy.
FLANDRE: Same as Remilia, but often has smudges. You hope that's not blood.
REIMU: Although she can't afford good soap and her palms are a bit rough from all the sweeping she does, you must say you're a bit taken by the skill and grace of her fingers. Her handwriting in particular is startlingly beautiful. Must be all those seals she writes.
MARISA: Grubby thief paws.
NITORI: Small little hands, always dirty and perpetually injured from her handiwork. Ugly.
Your own hands aren't that great. Very soft, but somewhat withered and bony. It's hereditary for witches. At least you made the Philosopher's Stone before you started getting into the warts.
> Patchouli: Change outfits.
Right, better get this over with.
You slip out of your pajamas and put on your SEXIEST PARTY DRESS.
(http://i.imgur.com/Yflkx.png)
This should satisfy Remilia, yes? Good thing you're such a knockout under that musty robe.
HAHA JUST KIDDING. You actually look like this.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ya9iG.png)
You dig into your dresser for something that will make this trainwreck presentable.
-
> Note: The purple is the GOOD and the white is the PLENTY.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/3dDF4.png)
megusta.jpg
(http://i.imgur.com/Yflkx.png)
This should satisfy Remilia, yes? Good thing you're such a knockout under that musty robe.
!!!
HAHA JUST KIDDING. You actually look like this.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ya9iG.png)
... :getdown:
You dig into your dresser for something that will make this trainwreck presentable.
>Water + Fire Sign: "Royal Steam-Cleaning" on default outfit. Can't beat practicality.
-
MARISA: Grubby thief paws.
(http://puu.sh/ZQH6)
>Make sure your crescent moon head accessory is properly shiny and spotless.
-
> Conjure up the selective vision properties of an excess of self-confidence in regards to our figure.
> YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY MATTERS.
-
>Wear the SEXY PARTY DRESS anyway. Screw gravity!
-
>Something that's a bit loose and/or frilly would do to conceal things.
-
> Put on this outfit. (http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/1185705/1girl-alternate_costume-blush-bow-hair_bow-hamira-) (WARNING: Danbooru link, pic is safe but ads may be NSFW)
-
(http://i.imgur.com/3DOdz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/KSwjX.png)
I don't see a choice for outfits since it'll just get a TIME PARADOX.
-
>Wear the phillosopher's stones as a gem-dress
-
I don't see a choice for outfits since it'll just get a TIME PARADOX.
>We brought the usual outfit as a backup, for whatever reason. PROBLEM SOLVED.
-
> Patchouli: Ask magic mirror who the least fairest is.
(http://i.imgur.com/YjZ0P.png)
The mirror replies that it is BACON GREASE, THE FATTEST FAIRY IN GENSOKYO.
Bacon Cirno ftw
> And that last Patchoulli's costume is good to sleep, so go to Patchoulli's bed
-
I don't see a choice for outfits since it'll just get a TIME PARADOX.
> Wear something nice anyway.
> A little thing like CAUSALITY is no excuse for not dressing up.
-
> Blow our own mind with the realization that, when we were reminiscing about the story behind our wedding photo, we were having a flashback within a flashback.
-
> Use ILLUSIONARY MAGIC to make your party dress look like your kidding version.
-
> Mental image of Marisa with literal paws.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/YjZ0P.png)
BACON GREASE, THE FATTEST FAIRY IN GENSOKYO.
i exploded
You slip out of your pajamas and put on your SEXIEST PARTY DRESS.
(http://i.imgur.com/Yflkx.png)
HOLY SHIT YES
HAHA JUST KIDDING.
NOOOOO
>Wear dress related to earth/crystal because it's Saturday. Philosopher Stone touches sound like a good idea.
-
> Yeah, okay, have you seen us? We couldn't pull off a dress if our life depended on it. Just wear a suit, like the scrawny nerd we are.
-
> Yeah, okay, have you seen us? We couldn't pull off a dress if our life depended on it. Just wear a suit, like the scrawny nerd we are.
Looking back upon the wedding photo pic, I disagree. Patchi may have not aged with the most grace, but she probably wouldn't be too bad off in a dress. Even so a good robe might be more befitting of a mage (in other words go dressed as a purple jedi)
-
Looking back upon the wedding photo pic, I disagree. Patchi may have not aged with the most grace, but she probably wouldn't be too bad off in a dress. Even so a good robe might be more befitting of a mage (in other words go dressed as a purple jedi)
> How about we meet in the middle and go as this:
>(http://i46.tinypic.com/xmv7eg.jpg)
-
... Is that some kind of evil J. Jonah Jameson?
-
... Is that some kind of evil J. Jonah Jameson?
Same universe, different comic book. That's Dr. Strange, the Marvel sorcerer supreme.
>Seconded.
-
Been keeping up, but not commenting, however:
Patchouli Strange
By Odin's Bearded Nipples!
Stuffman, this Text Adventure is a wonderous thing.
-
> Patchouli: FASHION MONTAGE.
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfQvffDEFQg) ]
You try putting on some poppy dance music to try to get yourself into the mood for FASHION. It doesn't help. You can't even work up the will to bounce on your heels, otherwise we could've made a video out of this.
(http://i.imgur.com/MT7Mt.png)
This basic black miniskirt is simple in appearance, meant to draw attention to the wearer's ASSETS instead of the outfit itself. In your case, it makes it so that there is NOTHING TO LOOK AT, AT ALL.
(http://i.imgur.com/1xjPe.png)
This dress, on the other hand, is quite frilly and disorienting to look at it, drawing attention away from your UNDERWHELMING PHYSIQUE. However, it LOOKS RIDICULOUS.
(http://i.imgur.com/wDAUV.png)
Here's a BUSINESS CASUAL combination, not unlike what your familiar wears. It's modest and looks fairly sharp, but it also makes you look UNIMPORTANT, which Remi might not like.
(http://i.imgur.com/v0edj.png)
An actual attempt at fashion. This dress is decorated with crystals, modeled after your PHILOSOPHER'S STONE. It would go very well with Flandre, but she isn't coming along.
The author notes that he has made a ONE-TIME EXCEPTION to his color scheme rules in order to show the colors of the crystals.
(http://i.imgur.com/q5YtY.png)
Since it's Saturday, maybe you could try out some EARTH-THEMED outfits. Here's a desert dress you think is pretty comfortable. It kind of makes you look like a DIRTY HIPPIE, though.
(http://i.imgur.com/5Pznn.png)
Following that same line of thought, this simple tree branch patterned dress isn't too bad. Although, it's kind of a bright shade of green, which doesn't suit your disposition much.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZIq8t.png)
Oh man. You don't know what you were thinking, trying to ape Stephen's look. Unfortunately, your WIMPY SHOULDERS just don't work with the cowl.
(http://i.imgur.com/ZYDCU.png)
This is the ZERO EFFORT option. But for some reason, plain black t-shirts with jeans are currently considered stylish in the outside world right now?? Good enough excuse for you.
(http://i.imgur.com/KGXVd.png)
Here's your incredibly stupid GOTHLOLI dress, which Remi got for you. She eats this stuff up and thinks you look perfect in it. The upshot is that you can claim you're wearing it IRONICALLY, since no sane person would choose to dress themselves in this.
(http://i.imgur.com/rjOeA.png)
This is a more modest, respectable wizard outfit. But you're going to a party, not off to slay dragons.
(http://i.imgur.com/jtwYp.png)
Oh, you had forgotten about this. This is a heavier version of your usual outfit that you like to wear when you go travelling. It's a little different, you guess?
(http://i.imgur.com/mYW58.png)
Or you could just say FUCK IT and wear your pajamas like you always do.
> _
-
>IRONIC GOTHLOLI
>IRONIC GOTHLOLI
>IRONIC GOTHLOLI
>But pack the Cloak of Levitation just in case.
-
>Seconded, but bring along our usual just in case we need something more comfortable.
-
>7 is totally badass.
-
>Number 4. 4 always wins.
-
>Fuck it, 4.
-
>I like number 5~
-
> Number 10. You never know when a dragon might attack.
-
> #7, create a time paradox.
-
>IRONIC GOTHLOLI
>IRONIC GOTHLOLI
>IRONIC GOTHLOLI
What is wrong with the rest of you people and why are you not choosing #9?
-
>#5 x2 wild west combo
-
>Number 4.
-
> Why is Flandre not coming along?
-
> I say 11. It looks neat, and you can always pull the hood over your head when things get messy/embarassing.
> But just in case (and to keep the timeline stable), bring along a set of PJs in...A bag of holding or a hypercube or something. :V
-
(9)
-
Either Option #12 or Option #10, WITHOUT THE HAT
-
4 or 9 (even if 9 makes me think American McGee's Alice).
-
> You're absolutely right, Patchy. Fuck it. Go for 12. But sigh inwardly at our wimpy shoulders.
-
>#11, with it we will be able to find a tavern corner in which to blend perfectly.
-
>9 for a FLAWLESS VICTORY!!!
-
9, elegant gothic loli ftw \o/
-
11
-
>9
-
> I'm gonna have to go 9.
-
>Only answers that are evenly divisible by 5 are acceptable.
-
HOLY SHIT YES
>11 or 2
-
> 4.
-
> Throw 3 and 5 into a spin cycle and wear the result.
-
>
Go topless
>Pick #3 and find a nice pair of glasses to wear with it. :3
-
> 11
Because characters need to be in their Touhouvania outfits more often
-
>11
(although if 11 doesn't win, it has to be 9)
I do think 7 would look great -without- the ridiculous cowl, though.
-
> Changing my vote to 11 to vote against 9.
-
Presuming I didn't count incorrectly, #9 is at 8-10 votes, #11 is at 5-7 votes, and #4 is at 4-5. If 11 doesn't win I vote we keep it's cowl in our inventory. Never know when you'll need (want) to hide your face .
-
>#11
-
>I change my vote from 4 to 11 then! Anything but that monstrosity under number 9.
...nine...
-
>First First past the post, today we vote like a civilized nation: #5, then #10, then #11
-
(http://i.imgur.com/jtwYp.png)
I just noticed this, but why is patchouli's hair sticking out behind her despite the fact that she's wearing a hood
-
It comes out the bottom.
-
I just noticed this, but why is patchouli's hair sticking out behind her despite the fact that she's wearing a hood
Lazy developers forgot to implement physics for the hair.
-
Lazy developers forgot to implement physics for the hair.
Kinda reminds me of Maplestory, some hairstyles poke out of some helmets and stuff.
-
Lazy developers forgot to implement physics for the hair.
Guess we'll have to wait for the bugfix in the goty edition.
-
1
2
3 i
4 ii
5 iiii
6 i
7 ii
8
9 iiiiiiii
10 i
11 iiiiiiii
12 i
Need a tiebreaker.
All multivotes are ignored, though note that 9 and 11 would still have a half-vote each if they weren't.
-
>I'll break the tie =D! Voting...
...
...
...
...
?9
-
>I'll break the tie =D! Voting...
...
...
...
...
?9
Gdi kitten >:C
-
I'm gonna vote 11.
-
Gonna change my vote from 11 to 9 because 9 is still hilarious and I can't help it.
-
>I'll break the tie =D!
HAMMER SHUT UP
-
HAMMER SHUT UP
Outfit #9 was lynched. It was Town Bulletproof Vigilante Watcher Cop Doctor Vanilla, Mafia Goon.
-
>Wear ALL OF THE ABOVE
>9
-
> Patchouli: Pick outfit #9.
You grudgingly decide to don the gothloli dress, intending to use this as leverage against Remilia later.
(http://i.imgur.com/YGzA1.png)
You equip the STOCKING EXCHANGE, increasing your MELEE DAMAGE and reducing your SUGAR RESISTANCE.
You are surprised to not receive a TIME PARADOX ERROR. That probably means this outfit is going to be destroyed in the near future, much to Patchouli's delight. Thinking ahead, you add your CAT'S PAJAMAS to your inventory.
> Patchouli: Take Cloak of Levitation.
(http://i.imgur.com/R7zLE.png)
You grab the CLOAK OF LEVITATION from outfit #7, because REASONS.
This piece of magical equipment is fully functional and allows the wearer to fly, an ability that is STAGGERINGLY REDUNDANT in Gensokyo. Creating this was pretty trivial for you.
> Patchouli: Exit room.
That's about as dressed-up as you're willing to get. It took you a while to try on all those outfits, so everyone else is probably just about ready by now.
(http://i.imgur.com/K8GWm.png)
You leave your room and head back towards your desk.
(http://i.imgur.com/D94oq.png)
On the way, you encounter a FAIRY MAID who was looking for you. She offers you a CUP OF COFFEE, as you requested.
(http://i.imgur.com/alFKA.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/osc5n.png)
You promptly take a sip of it and determine that it BARELY QUALIFIES AS COFFEE. Using your POWERS OF DEDUCTION, you attempt to figure out what went wrong here.
(http://i.imgur.com/iLidc.png)
It appears that the fairy maid does not know how to operate a coffee machine, and elected to jury-rig a teabag by wrapping a TEABAG STRING around a COFFEE FILTER filled with COFFEE GROUNDS. The smudge of FAIRY LIP GLOSS on the side indicates that the fairy taste-tested it herself, and determining it to be horribly bitter, added a heap of SUGAR, CREAM, MILK, and...is that HOT CHOCOLATE? You think it's HOT CHOCOLATE.
This is pretty terrible. Fortunately, you don't drink coffee for the taste.
(http://i.imgur.com/EcZ3T.png)
> Patchouli: Return to desk.
When you make your way back to your desk, you see that Sakuya has returned. She's currently chatting with Rumia about the party.
(http://i.imgur.com/CUPqB.png)
> Patchouli: Consider bringing Flandre to the party.
(http://i.imgur.com/f4Sxh.png)
What are you, nuts?
Flandre isn't ready for busy social situations like that. Somebody is bound to get their shit wrecked with her on the loose. Flan isn't even allowed to participate in the parties Remilia throws at the SDM.
She was let out of the basement just recently; she's not ready for public interaction yet. Maybe in another hundred years or so.
> Patchouli: Examine crystal ball.
Before you step in on Sakuya, you notice your CRYSTAL BALL on a nearby table. In order to use your limited* divination capabilities, you need to have this on hand.
(http://i.imgur.com/xQkLP.png)
* It takes about 20 minutes to set up your crystal ball and get it going. You can use it to watch any person you are at least mildly familiar with for a few minutes, although at your SKILL LEVEL there is a fair chance of you giving yourself away or having your scrying scrambled, especially if the target is PARTICULARLY MAGICALLY INCLINED.
You feel like adding your CRYSTAL BALL to your inventory, also because REASONS. However, it is KIND OF HEAVY (for you) and will max out your WEIGHT LIMIT. Do you want to take this?
> _
-
> Do it. You never know when you need to scry, scry hard.
-
> Frown disapprovingly at Sakuya for her flagrant display of sweatercows.
-
>Maxing out our carrying capacity for any reason seems like something we'd hate doing on principle.
>Do not make pad comment. That would be distasteful.
>STOCKING EXCHANGE
A+.
This piece of magical equipment is fully functional and allows the wearer to fly, an ability that is STAGGERINGLY REDUNDANT in Gensokyo.
Ahahaha ;_;
-
> Be sure to NOT point out that Sakuya is more endowed than before, and possible Padding.
> Especially as you told Rumia to ask Sakuya why she was so flat.
-
Crystal ball is author self-insert/GMPC in disguise. Leave it behind.
-
>What possible use could scrying be at an oni bash? Leave the overweight piece of junk behind.
>...Or better yet, make Koakuma carry it. Yes, that's the ticket.
-
> Make Koakuma carry it like a good housecarl.
-
If we take the CB, we're going to want to carry it (or request Sakuya keep it with her for now). Koakuma will probably end up getting it broken (or something). Actually if we have a bit of time till we get going we could use the thing to kill some time (staring at hands). :3
-
>Have Sakuya replace one of her PADS with the Crystal Ball so that she can carry it for you. Problem solved.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/f4Sxh.png)
What are you, nuts?
Are we sure we didn't accidentally channel Bernkastel instead of Stocking?
>Obtain ye CRYSTALL BALL. Then give it to someone else to hold.
-
> We don't need a crystal ball when we can predict everything everyone is going to do to a shocking degree of accuracy. Everyone in Gensokyo is a freaking monomaniac.
-
> Give it to Koakuma, make her say "I am sworn to carry your burdens".
-
> Give it to Koakuma, make her say "I am sworn to carry your burdens".
(http://i.imgur.com/3vGG3.png)
-
> Patchouli: Get crystal ball and hand it off to someone else.
(http://i.imgur.com/7B5nF.png)
You temporarily undo the SEAL on your CRYSTAL BALL that stops Kirisame from running off with it, and add it to your inventory.
Conveniently, your familiar comes along at just the right moment for you to hoist it off on her.
(http://i.imgur.com/uOKhS.png)
She easily adds the CRYSTAL BALL, which is not heavy at all for an ordinary person, to her inventory.
(http://i.imgur.com/LhrRp.png)
Upon noticing your GARISH ATTIRE, she elects to have a chuckle at your expense.
(http://i.imgur.com/1bwtT.png)
You decide to show mercy, since Remi will probably be along any minute. There'll be plenty of time to set your familiar on fire after the party.
> Patchouli: Approach Sakuya.
(http://i.imgur.com/PYmlq.png)
Sakuya has just finished drawing Rumia a MAP. She even did it on the paper she carries around herself instead of on your nice parchment. So thoughtful!
(http://i.imgur.com/iLsod.gif)
Not about to miss out on a another opportunity to get herself destroyed, your familiar gives Sakuya a THOROUGH RIBBING about her ARTIFICIAL ENDOWMENTS. Sakuya insists that it is no different than wearing COSMETICS, or for that matter, FAKE JEWELRY. Your familiar quickly concedes.
Sakuya greets you and says that although she knows you didn't pick out the outfit for yourself, it suits you better than you think.
You tell her that that REALLY ISN'T A COMPLIMENT.
Sakuya notes that you are a bit tipsy and asks if you've been into your SCROLL RACK again. You reply that you had one of the fairies make you something that could TECHNICALLY BE CLASSIFIED AS COFFEE, and that you will be fine.
Sakuya performs one of her EXPERT SUBJECT CHANGES and mentions that Remilia will be meeting up with you down here shortly.
(http://i.imgur.com/fj7fp.png)
Speak of the Scarlet Devil.
(http://i.imgur.com/2qx2p.png)
Remilia notes the lack of applause from the LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE, and wonders if they found out about that TERRIBLE THING SHE DID. And if so, WHICH ONE.
Regardless, she makes her way towards your desk, where you immediately catch her eye.
(http://i.imgur.com/pM6X1.png)
You have earned some REMILIA AFFECTION POINTS.
Remilia next addresses the VERY DARK ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.
(http://i.imgur.com/f8IJ2.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/AMyU9.png)
Remilia wonders out loud if Rumia could be dressed up and added to her entourage.
Rumia replies that she will only go if her friend Wriggle can go as well.
(http://i.imgur.com/NZ9so.png)
Remilia retracts the offer.
Apparently satisfied with this resolution, Rumia proceeds to thank you and Sakuya for the map, and says that she will see you at the party. She takes her leave, which means I don't have to draw with that dark background anymore. Thank god.
Remilia says it's about time for all of you to get going as well, because you have a PARTY TO CRASH (even though you cannot actually crash it because you are explicitly invited).
Do you have anything TERRIBLY IMPORTANT (or alternately, marginally important) that you wish to do before leaving for the party?
> _
-
> Is the gate guard going?
> If so, who is making sure Flandre doesn't wreck everything's everything while we're out?
-
> Is the gate guard going?
> If so, who is making sure Flandre doesn't wreck everything's everything while we're out?
> On this note, see if you can't convince Flan to use her "four of a kind" spellcard to split China Hong into four, so she can guard the house more effectively.
-
Sakuya notes that you are a bit tipsy and asks if you've been into your SCROLL RACK again. You reply that you had one of the fairies make you something that could TECHNICALLY BE CLASSIFIED AS COFFEE, and that you will be fine.
this does not work, from experience
-
I don't drink so I wouldn't know :V
-
Who's to say that Patchouli would be in any condition to know this, either? She was "reading" a lot, after all ... ;)
Or maybe "coffee is antidote to drunkenness" is the kind of myth that ended up being literally true in Gensokyo, at least for a magician-youkai like Patchy.
-
>Don't forget the beans!
-
>Let's get this show on the road.
-
>Don't forget the beans!
> Surely they're located inside an "in case of stupid vampire plots, break glass" case.
-
>Wonder how we're not collapsing under the weight of our clothes.
-
Assuming Patchy has a Str of at least 3, she can carry 10 lbs as a light load, and 30 lbs as a heavy load. Clothing plus spellbook is unlikely to make her collapse.
-
Assuming Patchy has a Str of at least 3, she can carry 10 lbs as a light load, and 30 lbs as a heavy load. Clothing plus spellbook is unlikely to make her collapse.
Patchy does not play D&D.
She plays oWoD Mage.
-
Patchy does not play D&D.
Stuffmangen does. The poor misguided bastard.
-
Assuming Patchy has a Str of at least 3, she can carry 10 lbs as a light load, and 30 lbs as a heavy load. Clothing plus spellbook is unlikely to make her collapse.
Ah, but that is only under the assumption of D&D mechanics reigning over the game. Looking at the general comic on its own, it would be more plausible that everyone operates on a Vim gauge - which is canonically capable of disappearing.
...then again, there was the 100-meter Namusan bit...
...well, does Patchy have a Str of at least 3? Is that a bare minimum in D&D games?
Wait, I think I can make something up on the grounds of the crystal ball being a heavy load. Assuming it's not a rock crystal (see-through), it probably weighs a good deal less than 30 lbs...
I risk riding off on my trusty steed named Tangent again. MOVING ON!
-
I CAN SMELL YOU STUFFMAN
I CAN SMELL YOUR UPDATES
-
What the fuck Edible, I started drawing a few panels yesterday at almost exactly the time you posted
Do you camp this thread 24/7 or something?
-
Can you smell what the five magic rocks are cooking?
-
Edible compulsively bumps when it's almost 2 weeks to keep the thread alive.
-
> Patchouli: Suddenly worry about how Rumia knows about Flandre when you try and keep her a secret and lock her in a basement all the time.
-
What the fuck Edible, I started drawing a few panels yesterday at almost exactly the time you posted
The planets were aligned, foretelling the approaching update!
-
> Patchouli: Don't forget the beans!
Of course. Wouldn't want to leave without these!
(http://i.imgur.com/pbPMr.png)
These BOILED SOYBEANS have been magically enhanced for FRESHNESS and EFFECTIVENESS. Any oni that messes with you will be getting a face full of these!
> Patchouli: Depart.
You inform Remilia that you're ready to go. The two of you, along with Sakuya and your familiar, head upstairs.
(http://i.imgur.com/58r5z.png)
You find Flandre talking with Meiling. Seeing how everyone is going except her (she makes a point of the fact that EVEN YOU have dressed up for it), Flandre complains to Remi and insists that she should get to go as well.
(http://i.imgur.com/jcGXQ.png)
Serving up a heaping helping of her USUAL BULLSHIT, Remilia tells Flandre that this party is not for fun, and that it is instead an IMPORTANT DIPLOMATIC MEETING.
Remilia goes on to tell Flandre that she is IN CHARGE while everyone is gone, and that she can deal with any intruders as she sees fit. This seems to pacify her. You just hope Remilia has figured this into the monthly budget.
Next, Remi inspects the gate guard's chosen PARTY ATTIRE.
(http://i.imgur.com/VWYRx.png)
Good thing she's so average-looking despite her dedication to her personal fitness, otherwise she'd be putting the rest of you to shame.
HAHA JUST KIDDING. She actually looks like this.
(http://i.imgur.com/lcYJG.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ApCMy.png)
> Patchouli: Examine Meiling.
This is the Scarlet Devil Mansion's head gate guard and groundskeeper, HONG MEILING. Her overall performance could be described as ACCEPTABLE. At the very least, she has a PLEASANT DISPOSITION that makes her a good face for the SDM. However, as discussed earlier, her CATNESS LEVELS are sorely lacking.
She is a MARTIAL ARTS EXPERT, and continues to insist that it is powerful enough to match any magic. Her track record is awfully shaky when attempting to prove this.
Meiling is a fairly old youkai, older than you. You actually first met her back in Europe, a few years before the move to Gensokyo. Remilia had been planning it for some time, and sent out word that she was looking for non-human employees to bolster her forces, since she anticipated hostile resistance upon the SDM's appearance (and, as a side note, she was VERY RIGHT). Meiling answered the call; apparently she had traveled to Europe from her homeland China on foot over all those years, and wanted a quick trip home. After things settled down, Remi allowed Meiling to quit and return to the Outside World, but she returned in barely over a year, insisting that her home was no longer how she remembered it. PRETTY SAD STUFF. Anyway, the SDM is her home now, much as it is yours.
A SECRET ROMANCE blossoming between Sakuya and Meiling is the subject of much of the fairy maid gossip. It is vehemently denied by Sakuya and will earn anyone who brings it up within earshot a STERN LECTURE laced with SUBTLE STABBING THREATS.
Anyway, after the gate guard falls in, Remilia calls for her three MOST TRUSTED FAIRY MAIDS.
(http://i.imgur.com/kpgbh.png)
She explains that since her head servants have dressed up as her entourage to show how STYLISH she is, she will also need to bring some regular servants to show how RICH she is. That's what these three are for.
You have no idea what their names are. However, they are ostensibly the three most competent FAIRY MAIDS in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, each with a UNIQUE SPECIAL SKILL that sets her apart from the useless masses. The short-haired one can make the bed WITHOUT A LOT OF WRINKLES, the long-haired one can make some PRETTY DECENT BLUEBERRY MUFFINS, and the one with the glasses is capable of BASIC MATH.
All three of them seem to have PERSISTENT NERVOUS MOE, which you think is the real reason Remilia likes them.
(http://i.imgur.com/PcNxB.png)
With this, the SCARLET DEVIL MANSION GLAMOUR SQUAD is ready. Remilia orders you to MOVE OUT, and you all fly off towards the entrance to the UNDERGROUND.
You also make sure to magic up some rainclouds around the SDM to keep Flandre inside.
It'll be some time before you arrive, so looks like it's time to BE SOMEONE ELSE to pass the time!
> Be Cirno.
You can't be Cirno. She is obviously filed under the BLUE COMMAND INTERPRETER.
(http://i.imgur.com/ecDO8.png)
What? Cirno. No.
(http://i.imgur.com/ueesv.png)
Cirno. If you want to start a quest you need to make your own thread.
(http://i.imgur.com/if9nQ.png)
Cirno. That joke is completely played out.
(http://i.imgur.com/AiNz4.png)
Cirno, no. Yukari is a lazy plot device. Any story that has Yukari on the first page should be ignored by everybody.
(http://i.imgur.com/NwSQW.png)
Cirno, stop that. That is terrible writing. You are being a mary sue.
(http://i.imgur.com/d7kVk.png)
Okay, whatever.
> Be Yukari again.
You are now YUKARI YAKUMO. When we last left off, you were about to get dressed for the party, and had just finished making VAGUE THREATS towards your shikigami RAN if she did not produce the best breakfast you've ever had.
(http://i.imgur.com/8vy1m.png)
She made pancakes with butterscotch syrup.
She got lucky.
> _
-
A wild UPDATE appears! :D Thank you, Santa Stuffs!
> Whom else is living with Yukari?
> Check your parasol, see if it needs to be repaired or cleaned.
-
Cirno seems well endowed in terms of both artistic talent and literary knowledge. Truly befitting of the strongest.
-
You have no idea what their names are. However, they are ostensibly the three most competent FAIRY MAIDS in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, each with a UNIQUE SPECIAL SKILL that sets her apart from the useless masses. The short-haired one can make the bed WITHOUT A LOT OF WRINKLES, the long-haired one can make some PRETTY DECENT BLUEBERRY MUFFINS, and the one with the glasses is capable of BASIC MATH.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love your sense of humor :3
-
Touhou's fairies are one of my favorite things about it, no joke.
-
CirnoQuest must become a thing.
> Yukari: Steal Dai-chan
> See what meaningful idle chat we can squelch out of Chen. Sniff for Chekhov's Guns.
-
This update is great. Meiling fills out that dress nicely. Together, the maids can make the right number of non-wrinkly blueberry muffins? Hooray Cirno! I like how she drew the quest in crayon. Yukari likes pamcakes.
One question: We're doing flashbacks because the four PCs are sharing their backstories with each other, but how are we flashing back to Yukari?
-
The SCARLET DEVIL MANSION GLAMOUR SQUAD is perfect.
>1d9
>Grab Tail.
-
One question: We're doing flashbacks because the four PCs are sharing their backstories with each other, but how are we flashing back to Yukari?
As the audience, we're seeing the full story. The stories that the characters are telling each other are somewhat edited for content, and obviously doesn't include viewpoints outside their own. For instance, I sincerely doubt that Patch would tell the other three about her hand fetish porn stash.
-
> Marvel at how much the bed-making fairy resembles the harvest goddess.
-
I had a laugh at the Glamour Squad.
> Have Ran pack some pancakes to go. You never know when you'll need some Chekhov's pancakes.
-
> Yukari: Manipulate the border of cuteness to make Chen even cuter and then see Ran's reaction.
-
> Arrive at party with style.
-
>Yukari: Contemplate the day's duties, and how they can be fobbed off on other peoples.
-
>Peep on Reimu, Yuyuko, and Kaguya.
-
>Edible is presently unable to offer command suggestions as Meiling's legs have rendered him inert.
-
> Yukari: Fondly regard shenanigans. If none currently exist, fix that.
-
> Yukari: Fondly regard Chenanigans. If none currently exist, fix that.
Fixed. :V
-
> Yukari: Fondly regard shenanigans. If none currently exist, fix that.
^This.
>And get more pancakes yo.
-
What if it's actually the butterscotch syrup that makes this breakfast the best?
On that note, how would maple syrup marinated barbequed chicken turn out?
-
Time to bypass those damn command interpreter restrictions.
> Manipulate border between purple and every other color.
-
>Be Reisen.
-
>Be Reisen. Purple Command Interpreter Go!
-
>Be Sara.
>Be past Reimu.
>Be that stage four midboss from SoEW.
>Be that stage four midboss from LLS.
>Be Reisen.
...can't think of any other ones, but I know I must be missing someone.
-
As I mentioned earlier, we will get to be everyone at some point.
However, a short Reisen segment now would actually be convenient for things later. I'll work one in.
-
>Wardrobe check
>Eh... I dunno... Should we just go to it as we are but with a hat?
-
>Be Sara.
>Be past Reimu.
>Be that stage four midboss from SoEW.
>Be that stage four midboss from LLS.
>Be Reisen.
...can't think of any other ones, but I know I must be missing someone.
Forgot Meira. And Letty, and Reisen II, and Akyuu.
And is Sara really purple? She looks more pink to me.
What about Yorihime?
>Document Ran's pancake recipe for later times.
>Come up with a witty scheme of how you'll make the party more 'interesting'
-
>Wardrobe check
>Eh... I dunno... Should we just go to it as we are but with a hat?
Sadly (due to time paradox) Yukari's outfit won't change I guess (page 10, mid way down). Can always check with Ran and Chen though.
>Yukari/Chen: Om nom nom.
-
> How basic of BASIC MATH are we talking?
> Yukari: Is there anything Yuyuko wanted to talk to us about before we went places? Best to come up with something to say in that event.
-
> Yukari: Examine Chen.
(http://i.imgur.com/nXAG8.png)
This is your SHIKIGAMI'S SHIKIGAMI, CHEN. Thankfully she hasn't been able to acquire a shikigami of her own, or this cycle of redundancy could go on forever.
You do not have direct control over her, but since you can order Ran to give her orders, she's essentially your subordinate as well. Unfortunately, she is not even remotely as disciplined as Ran, so it is rare that both Ran and Chen are following your orders perfectly enough for Chen to benefit from your powers. When she does, though, she's a tiny fuzzy wrecking ball.
What you like about Chen the most is how rambunctious she is. It was too quiet around here before she showed up. Being a troublemaker is the sign of a healthy youkai!
You would tell her to use a fork, but you're pretty sure it's cleaner when she eats with her hands, somehow.
> Yukari: Manipulate border of cuteness and make Chen cuter.
She's already pretty cute. Your ability revolves around changing things into their opposites; if you were to manipulate the border of cuteness on Chen, you'd be making her less cute.
> Yukari: Manipulate border of purple, hijack purple command interpreter.
(http://i.imgur.com/xQ3Ne.png)
Nope! Even your MANIPULATION OF BORDERS is no match for my MANIPULATION OF PLOT.
> Yukari: Engage in morning voyeurism.
Let's see what Reimu is up to.
(http://i.imgur.com/D90Wk.png)
Yup, there's Reimu, Reimuing it up. You swear she spends at least half her time sweeping and/or drinking tea. So much tea. You wouldn't be surprised if her blood was green by now.
Reimu doesn't know anything about the party going on today. If she knew there was a huge bash going on and she hadn't been invited to it, she'd be furious, so you'll be sure to tell her all about it tomorrow.
How about that moon princess? Apparently she'll actually be leaving Eientei to attend the party today.
(http://i.imgur.com/qINqQ.png)
Knowing her, she'd probably be waking up about now. You wonder if she's decent.
(http://i.imgur.com/zRgTk.png)
She's not.
You consider checking on Yuyuko, but you'll be seeing her in a few minutes anyway, and it's more fun to just crash in on whatever she's doing at the moment anyway.
> Yukari: Acquire additional pancakes.
(http://i.imgur.com/7cgo9.png)
You ask Ran to make some more pancakes to give to Yuyuko. She has to try these.
Ran complies. Meanwhile, you go through the house to pick up the rest of what you need for the party.
> Yukari: Acquire parasol.
(http://i.imgur.com/lGius.png)
You grab your PARASOLENOID. This parasol is specially designed for channeling and emitting danmaku. It doesn't make you any stronger, it just looks cool when you do it.
In case you can't tell by how you've decorated the fuck out of this thing, you love your parasol dearly. It makes you look so classy and mysterious! Well, it would if everyone in Gensokyo didn't already know what a pain in the ass you are.
> Yukari: Examine Chekhov's Gun.
You open your gun cabinet to have a quick look at CHEKHOV'S GUN.
(http://i.imgur.com/HO0pk.png)
Yep. Still there.
WAIT. NO. SHIT.
WHY?
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
(http://i.imgur.com/RCoFP.png)
The magic of the gun kicks in. It is now ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for this gun to become relevant to the plot somewhere down the line. You disdainfully add it to your inventory. This fucking thing is worse than a monkey's paw, you can't get rid of it.
Better get a move on before you pick up any more of the HORRIBLE CURSED ARTIFACTS you keep laying around.
> Yukari: Get a move on.
You ask Ran if the pancakes are ready yet. She says of course not, she only started them two minutes ago. She tells you to head off to HAKUGYOKUROU, and that she'll be right behind you. Works for you.
You head off into GAPSPACE. Chen goes with you, as she is always happy to see "Aunt Yuyuko".
(http://i.imgur.com/YONlw.png)
> Yukari: Examine gapspace.
(http://i.imgur.com/2dYzA.png)
A lot of people wonder about the CREEPY EYES that are always staring from inside your gaps. In reality, there aren't actually any eyes there. It's just a trick you devised to allow others to see the EDGES OF GAPSPACE. Since the average viewer cannot see through the edge, but also cannot perceive borders from the inside (not even as a black void), the edges simply reflect what is being used to view them: eyes. You try to keep the NON-EUCLIDEAN BULLSHIT to a minimum, it actually gets old fast.
You're content to let people believe it's the eyes of countless GAP HORRORS staring back at them. Nope, it's just window dressing! If they were actual GAP HORRORS you'd have to be pretty lucky to see them coming. Speaking of which, you should really cut their population down again. You've been putting that off for a while.
As long as you're thinking about PUBLIC MISCONCEPTIONS about your gaps, why not go over the GAPSPACE'S true purpose?
Although you like to maintain the public perception of how UNFATHOMABLY VAST your gaps are, the truth is that this BORDER SPACE that you use to get around (and for SHENANIGANS) is kept at a very exact and finite size. That's because this is actually the space that seperates the GREAT HAKUREI BORDER from the OUTSIDE WORLD. If it was TOO SMALL, it wouldn't be able to contain Gensokyo and the border between it and the outside world would become DANGEROUSLY THIN, but if it got TOO BIG, it could easily suck big chunks of Gensokyo into it. You are pretty diligent about maintaining this balance. Usually.
Well, whatever! You're sure none of this will be relevant today.
> Yukari: Enter the Netherworld.
You enter HAKUGYOKUROU, the home of your best friend, the GHOST PRINCESS YUYUKO SAIGYOUJI. The grounds are meticulously clean, as always. The yama pays her pretty well to look after the spirits of the departed that pass through here. You consider yourself lucky that you're able to just waltz in here whenever you want. All the other chumps have to take the stairs. Seriously, FUCK THOSE STAIRS. There should be a warning posted outside about the stairs.
(http://i.imgur.com/np2JF.png)
Yuyuko's groundskeeper and bodyguard, YOUMU KONPAKU, sees you come in, and waves to greet you. Yuyuko pops out from inside the house and waves as well, telling you she'll be out in JUST A MINUTE. She tells Youmu to entertain you for a bit.
(http://i.imgur.com/A0xh9.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/aXBXU.png)
On a level imperceptible to all but the most careful observers, Youmu breaks into a cold sweat.
(http://i.imgur.com/fYRgA.png)
It's because she knows. She knows what's coming.
(http://i.imgur.com/mNYyO.png)
It's because she knows she is about to be teased.
> _
-
> Challenge Youmu to a "stuff she cannot cut" contest.
-
>Troll her by being completely nice to her. And caring.
-
> Yukari: Make sure that Chen hasn't been using Occam's Razor to file her claws.
> Stuffman: Make nonfunctioning pink command interpreter to through Yukari off next time.
> Yukari: Tease Youmu by not teasing her, thus confusing her with mind games.
-
>Treat Youmu with the utmost courtesy. Be sure to throw in a wink to Yuyuko within eyesight of her retainer.
-
You consider yourself lucky that you're able to just waltz in here whenever you want. All the other chumps have to take the stairs. Seriously, FUCK THOSE STAIRS. There should be a warning posted outside about the stairs.
YES GOOD
i mean, i know this isn't actually funny, it's just A Reference which my mind is tribally recognizing as a thing and causing me to laugh by association. BUT STILL~
>Treat Youmu with the utmost courtesy. Be sure to throw in a wink to Yuyuko within eyesight of her retainer.
> Completely change position every time you are ouside of Youmu's eyesight.
-
> Yukari: Tease Youmu by not teasing her, thus confusing her with mind games.
> Boring, Youmu is mind-game resistant. Tease the shit out of her.
> Use border manipulation to stretch and squeeze Youmu into a variety of shapes.
> PARASOLENOID
> You just took the first word that popped into your head to make that portmanteau, didn't you? It doesn't even make any sense!
-
> Make balloon animals out of Myon for Chen to play with.
-
>Troll her by being completely nice to her. And caring.
>Seconded.
-
>Troll her by being completely nice to her. And caring.
>Thirded.
-
>Troll her by being completely nice to her. And caring.
Fourth'd.
-
> Completely change position every time you are ouside of Youmu's eyesight.
This, but keep your current pose (just stare, smile down at her, fan slightly raised), and always keep the same distance from her you are now (only moving while she isn't looking). If it doesn't work (she doesn't have a panic attack) within 30 seconds, get bored and proceed to>Troll her by being completely nice to her. And caring.
-
> You just took the first word that popped into your head to make that portmanteau, didn't you? It doesn't even make any sense!
B-but a solenoid is a coil that you run a current through to create a magnetic field, Yukari could run her danmaku through the pole of the parasol and...
Okay, guilty as charged. They can't all be winners :ohdear:
-
This, but keep your current pose (just stare, smile down at her, fan slightly raised), and always keep the same distance from her you are now (only moving while she isn't looking).
Actually, just make copies of yourself during this.
> SEA OF YUKARIS
-
> What sort of things do we tends to do to Youmu, and do we consider anything off limits?
I want to know what standards we've set for ourselves before deciding if doing nothing is a viable strategy instead of the playerbase either feeling bad for Youmu or being uncreative.
-
I want to know what standards we've set for ourselves before deciding if doing nothing is a viable strategy instead of the playerbase either feeling bad for Youmu or being uncreative.
If I know my game-mastering, I suspect the reason Stuffs cut it off there is to let the players decide what the standard for Youmu-teasing is, such that what we vote for is what Yukari has been doing all the time.
-
> What sort of things do we tends to do to Youmu, and do we consider anything off limits?
I want to know what standards we've set for ourselves before deciding if doing nothing is a viable strategy instead of the playerbase either feeling bad for Youmu or being uncreative.
Ah, but we are Gensokyo's leading expert on harassment. We are not so kind as to absolve Youmu from the true tease when it comes, but allowing the anticipation to build up will either slowly chip away at her sanity or lower her guard.
-
If I know my game-mastering, I suspect the reason Stuffs cut it off there is to let the players decide what the standard for Youmu-teasing is, such that what we vote for is what Yukari has been doing all the time.
I'm thinking similarly; I just want to be sure. The off-limits question is still important to me, though, because I don't want to give Youmu a make-over that genuinely upsets her or irritates Yuyuko. There's teasing and there's bullying.
Ah, but we are Gensokyo's leading expert on harassment.
I wonder if the Lunarian doctor would agree with this.
-
>Troll her by being completely nice to her. And caring.
You cannot complete this command because you are too busy being a TERRIBLE PERSON.
> What sort of things do we tends to do to Youmu, and do we consider anything off limits?
I would say the general limit is to not do anything that would make Youmu think you actually dislike her.
-
My command still stands. No reason we can't make her think we're also doing other things behind her back.
> Completely change position every time you are ouside of Youmu's eyesight field of vision
-
Nope! Even your MANIPULATION OF BORDERS is no match for my MANIPULATION OF PLOT.
CURSES! FOILED! <_<
Anyway.
> Fob the Chekov's Gun off to Youmu.
-
No, I think the Gun is headed towards a different stage 5 boss.
Actually, yes we should give it to Youmu, and she can give it to her girlfriend.
-
That gives me an idea.
>Smile and exchange a brief, polite word with Youmu. Then gap her into Reisen's waiting arms. Or Yuyuko's bed. Whichever comes first.
-
That gives me an idea.
>Smile and exchange a brief, polite word with Youmu. Then gap her into Reisen's waiting arms. Or Yuyuko's bed. Whichever comes first.
> Or we can do something that isn't creepy.
-
> Or we can do something that isn't creepy.
> Leave common sense at the door when we're piloting a character that doesn't care.
-
> Show faux concern for the state of Youmu's hair while manipulating the border between (neat and trim) and (unkempt and overgrown) in regards to her hair so we mess it all up.
> While we have her attention focused on her hair, manipulate the border between (neat and trim) and (unkempt and overgrown) in regards to a large chunk of her garden. Not the entire thing, but enough that some serious work would be required to clean it up if we didn't just reverse everything back to normal.
> Remark with more faux concern that she needs to take better care of unkempt and overgrown things in such a fashion that she assumes we're referring to her hair.
> Or we can do something that isn't creepy.
Oh man, you have no idea what was running around in my head until the "don't make Youmu think you don't like her" thing came back.
-
>Manipulate the border of normal and tiny; turn Youmu into tiny-Youmu for a bit.
-
> Clearly we should mess with Youmu by making a Sea of Yukaris that then proceed to be nice to her.
That would mess with her more than messing with her directly.
-
If we are busy being a terrible person:
>Ask her about the garden.
>Regarrange Everything she isn't looking at.
-
> Show faux concern for the state of Youmu's hair while manipulating the border between (neat and trim) and (unkempt and overgrown) in regards to her hair so we mess it all up.
> While we have her attention focused on her hair, manipulate the border between (neat and trim) and (unkempt and overgrown) in regards to a large chunk of her garden. Not the entire thing, but enough that some serious work would be required to clean it up if we didn't just reverse everything back to normal.
> Remark with more faux concern that she needs to take better care of unkempt and overgrown things in such a fashion that she assumes we're referring to her hair.
Oh, so that's where her 10D hair came from! :B
>Regarrange Everything she isn't looking at.
This suggestion is superior to mine.
-
> Yukari: Tease Youmu.
(http://i.imgur.com/ap05V.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/kdUMh.png)
Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone here.
However, Youmu insists that the SMUG MOON DOCTOR'S APPRENTICE is not her girlfriend.
(http://i.imgur.com/8u18l.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/GdAeO.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/uqKK1.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/iT65b.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/2BMrI.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/LNcQh.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/gSZOT.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/66FPu.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/InunS.png)
Nicely done. You send the rabbit packing with CHEKHOV'S GUN, absolving yourself of any responsibility to use it in the near future. It'll be back, though.
Yuyuko arrives just in time to see the tail end of your prank.
(http://i.imgur.com/m4oVj.png)
To tell the truth, you were actually trying to pull off an AFRO, but the BORDER OF KEMPT AND UNKEMPT just wasn't working the way you wanted it to. Youmu shuffles off into the house, presumably to fix her IMPROVISED PUNK HAIRDO, mumbling something about how she's glad she's half-dead because her life is a joke.
Yuyuko asks what you were up to, and you simply remark that you were helping out with her LOVE LIFE. Kids these days, they need a little extra push to get going, you know? Yuyuko comments that you are TOO KIND.
> Yukari: Examine Yuyuko.
This is YUYUKO SAIGYOUJI, your best and oldest friend (Ran doesn't count because she is not your friend). She is the GHOST PRINCESS OF THE NETHERWORLD, possessing the ghastly ABILITY TO MANIPULATE DEATH. She answers directly to the Yama, guiding the spirits of the departed to a peaceful rest while they await REINCARNATION. Despite holding such a grim position, she is the most fun person you know. She's an EXPERT GOURMET, she can drink like a champ, she's got a great sense of humor, she's as unpredictable as you, and she's always up for a good CONVOLUTED SCHEME.
The two of you have a VERY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP. You feel perfectly comfortable saying that you LOVE HER DEARLY. Not in a romantic sense, but not quite in a family sense either. It's difficult to describe.
If only there was a SPECIFIC WORD for this kind of relationship.
> Stuffman: Draw shipping grid.
(http://i.imgur.com/M0zk1.png)
> Yukari: Talk to Yuyuko.
You tell Yuyuko that right now Ran is preparing the BEST PANCAKES YOU'VE EVER HAD, and that she SIMPLY MUST TRY THEM. Yuyuko appears excited at the prospect.
(http://i.imgur.com/9GEw9.png)
Right on cue, Ran appears. She explains that she only made as many as she had syrup for, and hopes that's enough. Yuyuko says it's fine, since she just had her first breakfast anyway. When asked what she had, she replies that she had REESE'S FOR BREAKFAST.
(http://i.imgur.com/B5pGX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/wh4jp.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/AUKwl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/shI6B.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/C4ylj.png)
Oh Yuyuko, you card.
Yuyuko tries the pancakes and gives them a EIGHT OUT OF TEN, since they lack variety of flavor. Ran admits that there really isn't much to the recipe, and that she figured SOMEONE AS IMMATURE AS YUKARI would be satisfied just by adding something like butterscotch to it.
(http://i.imgur.com/yw24R.png)
Damn. Her CRANIUM DEFENSE RATING is getting pretty strong lately. Maybe it's time to start working the shins.
Anyway, you have fun bullshitting with Yuyuko for a while before leaving for the party.
MEANWHILE...
> Be Reisen.
(http://i.imgur.com/crzYX.png)
> _
-
http://i.imgur.com/shI6B.png
This...This is glorious. :3 You da man, Stuffman.
Anyways!
> Examine Gun.
> Have Medicine put it in your room for later use.
> Check in on Kaguya, make sure she's not wasting her time gaming or picking fights with Mokou.
> Check in on Tewi, make sure she's not wasting her time pulling pranks on people.
> Check in on Eirin, make sure she's not wasting her time making useless drugs.
-
>Be Reis--
Damn you're good.
-
> Get away from poisonous doll.
-
> Is Youmu actually our girlfriend?
-
> Consider firing the gun at Tewi.
-
>Do we even like blunderbussen? If not, perhaps we could fob it off on Rinnosuke?
-
>Do what you're going to do on the bed with Medicine on the bed.
-
We were talking about Purplequest elsewhere, and the topic came to Rikako.
My problem with your Rikako shown at the beginning is, you made her lab coat too fit and emphasized her curves, rather than overly large and loosely hanging like it is in the game - exactly how a true nerd with no concern for good loooks should dress. This appears to be a conscious decision on your part.
Does this indicate some ideas you have regarding her personality in Purplequest?
-
We were talking about Purplequest elsewhere, and the topic came to Rikako.
My problem with your Rikako shown at the beginning is, you made her lab coat too fit and emphasized her curves, rather than overly large and loosely hanging like it is in the game - exactly how a true nerd with no concern for good loooks should dress. This appears to be a conscious decision on your part.
Does this indicate some ideas you have regarding her personality in Purplequest?
Rikako is supposed to appear smart, confident, and sexy. How she is on the inside is another matter entirely. I'll leave this as a matter of "you'll see".
EDIT: While I'm at it, the person I actually have a problem with in her depiction is Satori because I'm having second thoughts about writing her as deadpan when we already have Patch for that. I'll need to make that decision soon.
-
Exceedingly hilarious. Just perfect. Stuffman, you the man ... stuff.
>Examine skill thicket.
-
>Do what you're going to do on the bed with Medicine on the bed.
^This
-
>Straighten out ears.
>Take Medicine to Eirin for more experimentation.
>Go find Mokou to put in an order for more coal.
-
Try Satori as depicted in Warugaki's Yellow (Part 1) (http://danbooru.donmai.us/pool/show/5533)
-
> Forget everything that happened in the past two minutes.
-
>Stare deeply into the barrel of the blunderbuss.
-
Satori could be somewhat deadpan, but also sarcastic and semi-trollish. Ala Joseph Joestar.
With the whole "Your next line will be [insert dialogue here]." thing. Y'know, playing with her mindreading ability.
See, Patchy's the standoffish and somewhat antisocial deadpan, while Satori could be the snarky and sarcastic sort.
-
Satori seems to be a shoe-in for the meek and trod-over cat lady.
Then again, that's hard to RP via crowd...
-
Why must everyone be cool and snarky? Voting for "Truth, Justice and the American Way" for Satori.
-
Why must everyone be cool and snarky?
Probably because basically every touhou is cool and snarky.
-
Stuffmangen: Shipping grid for Eientei
-
Why must everyone be cool and snarky?
I can name five.
Cirno. [Cool... but not that way]
Yuuka [She;'s scary and snarky]
Kogasa
Yoshika
Byakuren
Also voting on God-Complex Satori because I AM OMNISCIENT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.
-
Excessively Creepy Satori works too~
-
Excessively Creepy Satori works too~
PLEEEASE
PLEEEASE
-
In the end, stripping Satori works for everyone.
Metaphorically .
-
I vote for whatever personality Stuffman decides fits the group dynamic the best.
-
I vote for whatever personality Stuffman decides fits the group dynamic the best.
Your utterly reasonable answer has NO PLACE HERE, mister. Get out of my laboratory! (I'm not really sure why we were discussing Satori's personality in the first place?)
>Stare DEEEEEEPER into the blunderbuss.
-
> Make Satori as bland and unmentionable as possible, just to spite all the stupid people who just want the same four or five archetypes over and over and bloody over
> Use ROSE-TINTED RETINAS to find a positive side to what just happened.
-
Rikako is supposed to appear smart, confident, and sexy. How she is on the inside is another matter entirely. I'll leave this as a matter of "you'll see".
EDIT: While I'm at it, the person I actually have a problem with in her depiction is Satori because I'm having second thoughts about writing her as deadpan when we already have Patch for that. I'll need to make that decision soon.
Because of this quote, Edible.
-
Obvious answer is canon personality.
Whatever that is. Uhhh.
-
Obvious answer is canon personality.
Whatever that is. Uhhh.
Which is a snarky know-it-all, a little too close to Patchy in this.
Which is the problem.
-
Well, it's been shown that Patchy's more the anti-social kind of snarky know-it-all.
Satori's more the semi-troll/unintentional troll breed. Finishing someone else's sentences before they do, using her ability to be boss at chess and card games, that sort of thing.
-
Because of this quote, Edible.
Psh, I don't need your ~*~reading comprehension~*~. :|
-
Yes. Canon Satori and Patch are both deadpan. (Although Satori is merely assertive while Patch is outright surly).
I despise trolls and there will not be a single "troll" in this story that does not receive some form of comeuppance, so I won't be writing Satori as a troll.
I'll probably be writing her as gentle-natured but standoffish.
Actually, does anyone remember that borderline ecchi doujin where Yuugi and Yuyuko go diving for fish in former hell and wind up barging in on Satori to prepare them for dinner there, and as "revenge" Satori serves them a full course banquet but leaves out a small piece of their silverware, thinking this was an incredibly cruel thing to do? Because that would basically be perfect since we'd get a kind-hearted Satori who still has a chance to use her SATORIN SMIRK?.
-
Well, I was thinking of it as less an offensive 'troll', ala yukari, and more the passive, '...Is what you were going to say?" sort.
Basically, they don't quite know they're being messed with, and that's the beauty of it. Basically, the good-natured sort who just prods a little every now and again. (Making the best of her lot as it were.)
As opposed to Yukari, who does it for the hell of it. Since Satori can't really turn off her ability.
-
In case you haven't noticed, Satori won't have her ability at the start of the story.
-
Actually, does anyone remember that borderline ecchi doujin where Yuugi and Yuyuko go diving for fish in former hell and wind up barging in on Satori to prepare them for dinner there, and as "revenge" Satori serves them a full course banquet but leaves out a small piece of their silverware, thinking this was an incredibly cruel thing to do? Because that would basically be perfect since we'd get a kind-hearted Satori who still has a chance to use her SATORIN SMIRK?.
Yeah, what I was going to say is kind of a unskilled-in-socialities Satori, due to her kind of isolation. But she's an sophisicated woman, so it's kind of... she has the knowledge, just not the experience? So she can say things that are kind of deadpan or bad without realizing it's kind of horrible. Like, in Genius of Sappheiros, many times she'd say bad things people had in their minds, and then seemed completely unexpecting of the bad reaction from them. As well, she seemed to lose all of her sophistication when flustered/in a heated conversation, as she probably is almost never in such a sitatuation due to her mostly-isolated life with her strange often-absent sister, and mostly mute and/or simpleminded pets. (The exception would be, like... Orin)
-
Actually, does anyone remember that borderline ecchi doujin where Yuugi and Yuyuko go diving for fish in former hell and wind up barging in on Satori to prepare them for dinner there, and as "revenge" Satori serves them a full course banquet but leaves out a small piece of their silverware, thinking this was an incredibly cruel thing to do? Because that would basically be perfect since we'd get a kind-hearted Satori who still has a chance to use her SATORIN SMIRK?.
I like a Satori like that.
Also, don't suppose you recall the name of that one?
-
> (Continue.)
(http://i.imgur.com/K7GQ0.png)
You are now RAISINS THE RABBIT.
Er, no. Wait.
(http://i.imgur.com/PayvB.png)
You are now REISEN UDONGEIN INABA, THE LUNATIC MOON RABBIT. You are both a SERVANT and a PET of the genius doctor EIRIN YAGOKORO and the Lunarian princess KAGUYA HOURAISAN. You live with your masters in EIENTEI, the magnificent mansion hidden within the BAMBOO FOREST OF THE LOST. Like your masters, you are a REFUGEE from the LUNAR CAPITOL. Fearing the outbreak of war after the humans invaded the moon, you went AWOL and fled to the earth, coming under Eirin's protection. The war turned out to be NOT A BIG DEAL, but you can't ever go back, regardless.
You are a TRAINED SOLDIER, one of the better ones among the lunar rabbits. Despite the popularity of danmaku battles in Gensokyo, you are one of very few people there familiar with the use of FIREARMS, which you hoard in an almost FETISHISTIC FASHION.
Nowadays, you work as Eirin's assistant and are responsible for running most of Eientei's errands.
> Reisen: Examine gun.
What is this weird-looking gun Youmu gave you? It looks pretty obsolete. Although, for an antique, it is in very nice condition. W-wait a minute...
(http://i.imgur.com/0KCDy.png)
HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THOSE STATS. Is this for real!? Where did Youmu get this!? With this gun, you could put a SERIOUS DENT in even the heaviest hitters in Gensokyo. You could easily one-shot anybody else, for that matter. It only has 1 ammo though, and you don't recognize the type. "Plot Armor Piercing"? What does that even mean?
Although this is the kind of thing that should be hidden and saved for SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES, for some reason looking at it makes you feel STRANGELY COMPELLED to keep it on you at all times. You add it to your inventory.
> Reisen: Examine Medicine.
You examine one of the bottles of medicine in your inventory.
(http://i.imgur.com/dAa8B.png)
What about it? It's just a regular STATUS AILMENT-curing medicine made by Eirin. Nothing special.
> Reisen: No, the other Medicine. Medicine Melancholy.
Oh, sorry. The COMMAND INTERPRETERS aren't case-sensitive.
(http://i.imgur.com/1XS9R.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/tFvxw.png)
This is MEDICINE MELANCHOLY, a human-sized doll that became a youkai. She has the loathesome ABILITY TO MANIPULATE POISON, which attracted the attention of your master and caused you to bring Medicine to Eientei a year or two ago. In exchange for participating in Eirin's experiments, she gets fed all the sweets she wants and is allowed to visit and roam the mansion freely.
Frankly, Medicine is pretty dangerous. Aside from the fact that she hates seeing dolls kept by humans and FLIPS HER SHIT whenever she sees one, her body is RIDICULOUSLY POISONOUS. However, nobody in Eientei keeps any dolls, and Eirin is around to fortify everybody against her poison; by pure coincidence it's safe for Medicine to be on the loose here. In any other household she'd be a DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN.
Tewi managed to befriend Medicine pretty quickly, which is unfortunate because that means she's usually party to Tewi's SHENANIGANS.
No, you don't know what the deal with the LITTLE DOLL is. As far as you know, they are BOTH MEDICINE.
> Reisen: Consider relationship with Youmu.
It would take an idiot to not notice how flustered Youmu gets around you. As for you though, you're not sure how you feel about her. You like her, but you don't know if you LIKE HER like her.
But let's face it, Gensokyo is full of TERRIBLE PEOPLE and Youmu is pretty decent by comparison. You could do a lot worse, so you feel like you should at least give her a chance. You're just not particularly attracted to her. Maybe if she grew up a bit?
(http://i.imgur.com/oFao9.png)
Yeah, something like that would be pretty good...
> Reisen: Straighten out ears.
Why? You get much better reception this way.
> Reisen: Check skills.
You examine your SKILL THICKET.
(http://i.imgur.com/bQheN.png)
Unlike the earth rabbits, who are stuck with the BEAST YOUKAI RACE STONE (which does not play well to their stats at all, leading to a lot of gimped builds), you and others of your kind have the uniquely specialized MOON RABBIT RACE STONE. You imagine the main reason for this is that it grants the moon rabbits their PSYCHOTECH proficiency.
PSYCHOTECH is the catch-all SKILL TREE for generic psychic powers. In particular, you are skilled at attacking your opponent's mind, as well as altering their visual perception. Continuing to develop this tree could give you skills such as TELEKINESIS or even MIND READING, but these are very very expensive to develop.
GUNTECH is your primary combat SKILL TREE. Your build is focused on attack speed and status procs, and you've also gained a strong evasion rating (which, in combination with PSYCHOTECH, makes you very hard to hit). You suddenly wish you didn't rely entirely on attack speed for damage, or otherwise you could blow pretty much anything in half with your CHEKHOV'S GUN.
PHARMATECH, which your master has trained you in, provides you with the ability to use high-level medicines and improves the effectiveness of basic ones. You can create some of them, too, but at the moment your SUCCESS RATE is pretty lousy.
> Reisen: Get back to what you were doing.
(http://i.imgur.com/l3yVl.png)
What WERE you doing? Oh, right.
Today is a special day! YUUGI HOSHIGUMA of the oni has sent out mass invitations to a GIGANTIC PARTY IN FORMER HELL as a gesture of FRIENDSHIP between the youkai of the surface and the underground, partially to ease tensions after RECENT EVENTS. Now, it should be noted that the invitation actually went to TEWI. In addition to the form invitation letter, there was a scrawled note indicating that THOSE MOON GUYS could come as well, but warned that they might have a ROUGH TIME since the party was almost exclusively for youkai. The princess insisted that she wanted to attend, so you'll all be leaving for the party in a short while.
You checked in on Kaguya a few minutes ago. She was in the middle of a frenzied FASHION MONTAGE, so you have a short while to do anything you want before meeting up with everyone else before you leave.
MEDICINE tells you that she was supposed to TELL YOU A THING but that she can't remember what it was. Considering her duty fulfilled, she departs.
You are standing in one of Eientei's infamous long hallways. Obvious exits are WEST and EAST. Non-obvious exits are NORTH and UP.
> _
-
> Check own wardrobe for a party outfit.
-
>What did we mulch recently (82% ago)?
-
>Up.
-
> Check chest for usual growths.
-
>Scan vicinity for Tewi-traps. Or trap-Tewi. Or both.
-
> Check chest for usual growths.
Was this joke ever actually funny?
> ... Better reception of what?
-
In other games where I've delayed using it, I've had people ask me why I haven't done it yet.
If you have a serious issue with it, perhaps it could be taken up in private?
-
> Get more ammo for new gun.
-
> Create Medicine.
> How effective would that single bullet be in a danmaku battle?
-
>Fire Chekhov's Gun at Stuffman
-
>Skill List
-
What, reusing jokes? Okay! :V
> Quickly retrieve sidearms.
Seriously, though ...
> Practice creating medicine.
-
>Fire Chekhov's Gun at Stuffman
Reisen can't aim in that direction.
-
> Reisen: Shoot Stuffman with Chekhov's Gun.
(http://i.imgur.com/YFifW.png)
W-whoa...easy there, Reisen...you wouldn't shoot ol' Stuffman, would you? I haven't d-done anything to make you upset, have I? I mean, sure, I made all those naughty pictures of you, and gave your main character slot to Patch because I think Eientei is a boring faction, but that's just water under the bridge, r-right?
(http://i.imgur.com/1ILgw.png)
ASDFKJAF.
(http://i.imgur.com/B7XQa.png)
S...so that's it, huh...everything's...getting dark...
I...I just wish...I could've lived for another few years...just long enough to have...a real robot waifu...
...
...
...
(http://i.imgur.com/ZnRIG.png)
And Purplequest was never updated again.
BAD END
~
~
~
> Load Game.
(http://i.imgur.com/yPTzy.png)
-
Dammit, we should've traded the fairybux for that shiny stone to make Nazrin evolve. Too late now I guess.
-
Yeah. Kill the author, REAL SMART.
-
> Would a gun with maximum accuracy still hit it's target even if you fire in the opposite direction? Or if it moves out of the way?
> If anyone ever fires the gun without a target, would it hit themselves, or Stuffman?
-
>make backup save file
>install mods
-
>make backup save file
>install mods
This quest is new, so the only mod that has been written is the first one that gets written for any game. Aw heck, let's do it anyways.
>Install nude mod.
>Wait, no, that'll just get us killed faster.
-
> Make two hard saves, one for main gameplay, and one for mods.
> Install Chuuni mod.
> Watch the hilarity ensue.
-
> Install Chuuni mod.
Too late. (http://i.imgur.com/ecDO8.png)
-
Too late. (http://i.imgur.com/ecDO8.png)
gdi cirno stop hijacking the plot
-
>Start new game
-
>Start new game
NO. Don't.
-
>Start new game plus
Fixed.
It makes sense if you think about it, Ichirin's obviously played through before, so that implies the rest of the cast played through this story too.
-
save scum at one of tewi's minigames.
-
>Peek in at Kaguya's FASHION MONTAGE. Possibly make suggestions.
-
>Make a backup save first!
-
save scum at one of tewi's minigames.
From your signature, i don't think that would help.
-
> Load Game.
> Be Reisen.
(http://i.imgur.com/PayvB.png)
You are now REISEN UDONGEIN INABA, THE LUNATIC MOON RABBIT. You are etc etc etc
You quickly scroll through the stuff you've already read.
> Reisen: Save game.
You must find a SAVE AKYU to save your game! You're stuck with your AUTO-SAVE for now.
> Reisen: Go up.
(http://i.imgur.com/i4sFf.png)
You go up through a hidden ceiling hatch and wind up in one of Eientei's SECRET PASSAGES. Eientei is absolutely riddled with these. It would make a perfect NINJA MANSION, if there were actually any ninjas in Gensokyo. Seriously, what's up with that? Isn't Gensokyo supposed to be old-timey Japan? Where are all the goddamn ninjas?
You see some other RABBITS passing by. The rabbits much prefer using the SECRET PASSAGES to the actual halls, even though it doesn't actually save any time. You yourself like to indulge in them from time-to-time (as you're doing right now). It's just more fun that way.
> Reisen: Acquire more ammo for Chekhov's Gun.
You open your menu and take a quick look at the CRAFTING REQUIREMENTS for PLOT ARMOR PIERCING AMMO.
- 1 x UNOBTAINIUM
- 1 x MEMENTO
- 1 x BATARANG
UNOBTAINIUM is a super-rare high-level metal that you've never even seen before, rumored to be PURELY THEORETICAL (except that it appears in the crafting requirements for all sorts of OBSCENELY POWERFUL EQUIPMENT). The MEMENTO refers to the kind of thing that you receive as a SENTIMENTAL GIFT from someone that you put in your front pocket, and it winds up stopping a bullet LATER IN THE STORY. You have no idea what a BATARANG is. It must be associated with something with RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF PLOT ARMOR.
There's no chance in hell you're going to be able to craft this.
> Reisen: Craft medicine.
You don't know the first thing about DOLLMAKING!
> Reisen: No, medicine, as in the drugs.
Oh. That, you CAN do.
(http://i.imgur.com/FJhk5.png)
Well, you COULD, if you had the ingredients on you. They're all stored in Eirin's lab.
There's really no need to make anything right now, anyway. You're already carrying some medicine that's as good as any of the junk you can make.
> Reisen: Check reception.
(http://i.imgur.com/9StZl.png)
Reception of what, you ask? WAVELENGTHS! You can detect things on all sorts of WAVELENGTHS, including light waves, sound waves, and brain waves. Your ears are bent in such a way as to improve their profile to catch such waves.
These extra senses of yours are directly linked to your ABILITY TO MANIPULATE WAVELENGTHS, but in order to actually influence them you require a FIRM VISUAL LOCK. The strongest implementation of this ability at your disposal is being able to scramble an enemy's brain waves to DRIVE THEM INSANE. This does not necessarily make them LESS DANGEROUS, so it must be used with planning and caution. A weaker but more practical application is to distort light waves, destroying the opponent's sense of spatial awareness, a particularly useful tactic in danmaku.
> Reisen: Check chest for usual growths.
(http://i.imgur.com/aU9zS.png)
Strictly average by HUMAN STANDARDS, but FREAKISHLY LARGE for a rabbit (you are also ABNORMALLY TALL by the same standards). You consider these a mark of shame. You ate WAY TOO MUCH when you were growing up during BASIC TRAINING.
You tried wearing a SARASHI for a while, but the other rabbits gave you even more crap about it than usual. Oh well.
> Reisen: Return to your room for a FASHION MONTAGE of your own.
The only clothes you own are BUSINESS CASUAL; they're all dress shirts, with a few different jackets and skirts. You do not like social gatherings and do not care to draw attention to yourself, ESPECIALLY at an oni party.
However, you do traverse the SECRET PASSAGES and return to your room, regardless.
(http://i.imgur.com/FJszN.png)
I cannot be assed to draw and describe another room full of useless crap for a non-main character, so you direct your attention to the one thing of particular interest in your room: the UNBELIEVABLY DEADLY PILE OF GUNS stocked in your closet. Boy howdy, do you love guns.
What will your loadout be today?
(http://i.imgur.com/zUxy6.png)
> _
[ Feel free to suggest any gun you can think of, not just the ones displayed. ]
-
> Load up a Piecemaker
-
>Grab this (http://borderlands.wikia.com/wiki/Bunny) (kidding).
>Take a dart-gun (we can make poison, we can shoot really well, let's put two and two together :3), and a .44 magnum.
Leaving my selection small for use in conjuntion with whatever BFG's people select.
-
>The golden gun of Fransico Scaramanga
>Cupid's Bazooka.
>A tranquilizer rifle
>Proton Pack.
>Laser Rifle of Optimus Prime.
>Stun Gun.
>Electro-magnetic Pulse Rifle.
-
>Wonder why we haven't upgraded our Polar Star.
-
> Check that we still have these babies:
> (http://i46.tinypic.com/122ospf.jpg)
-
>Abnormally tall compared to earth rabbits, but moon rabbits as well?
-
>Hecate. Hecate rifle, MP7, and a black beamsaber.
-
Where are all the goddamn ninjas?
Exactly.
-
> Equip ALL the weapons. We'll need as much Dakka as possible to fend off Oni if need be.
-
>Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Make it so.
>How much have we developed our Maintenance skill level (if applicable)? I'd really hate for these weapons to break after a single use..
-
>Craft some Ancient Tango of Essifation
-
>Load up the BFG 9000.
-
>Divine Rapier
I mean
>Divine Rapist
I mean
The Jam Packed Power Shot.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
-
The Zorg ZF-1.
(http://i.imgur.com/DyENW.jpg)
-
>There is but one weapon we need, and that is the almighty Barnyard Blaster.
Also there are no ninja because ninja are markedly less cool than the historical thing they're based on.
-
>Retrieve Gate of Babylon
-
Wait, are we actually...retrieving arms from safe?
> Grab FarSight XR-20.
-
> Do we care about causing unnecessary casualties in Oniland?
if statement = TRUE or YES, then do:equip GROOVITRON
else do:equip P90 HURRICANE && PYROBLASTER && LIQUID NITROGEN GUN && PLASMA STORM && HEAVY BOUNCER
-
> Equip the Nemesis.
-
Of course there are Ninja in Gensokyo.
You just don't see them.
-
1 x Caster
Ammo selection should include one each of #4, #9, and #13 rounds.
1xColt 45, original run
Ammo selection should include at least two bullets of every allergen we know. Don't forget the percussion caps.
1xNerf Dart gun
In case we need to show someone up in a hilarious fashion.
-
1 x Caster
Ammo selection should include one each of #4, #9, and #13 rounds.
1xColt 45, original run
Ammo selection should include at least two bullets of every allergen we know. Don't forget the percussion caps.
1xNerf Dart gun
In case we need to show someone up in a hilarious fashion.
This. So much.
-
>Obtain Monkeygun
>Trade in Polar Star for Machine Gun for added mobility
>Check requirements for Chicago Typewriter
>Steal De-Mat Gun from Eirin
-
>Make sure to pack our trusty Land Shark Gun (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHPvT8zVXT0). After all, what more appropriate to take on a trip to the Underground than a weapon that travels underground?
-
> We need a gun that shoots guns!
> ...That shoots swords?
-
> We need a gun that shoots guns!
> ...That shoots swords?
A gun that shoots gunswords. Or bayonetes. One of the two.
-
A gun that shoots gunswords. Or bayonetes. One of the two.
A rifle with a bayonet that shoots guns that shoot swords.
-
> Gun that shoots swords
> I've got just the thing:
> (http://i46.tinypic.com/s6ov12.jpg)
-
> Grab the one that shoots shuriken and lightning bolts.
-
> Fill grenade belt with HHGs of Aunty Ock.
-
@Fightest
I once drew a comic that was like that, back in like 2010. (https://docs.google.com/open?id=1fkeK2_64MmKy7LmDcM3m2GqmooYiIcPm5iu4D6crZ9eeuvjDL1sZXcsNvLxx)
> Stuffman: Consider usefulness of exploding knife guns.
-
>How does Reisen feel about shotguns?
>AA-12, Makarov, PP-19, FA-MAS, G11, MP 40, Welrod. Or maybe a slingshot.
-
[ in this update, we pretend Stuffman can draw guns ]
> Reisen: Get MP7s.
(http://i.imgur.com/z6fbH.png)
This is a common human weapon from the OUTSIDE WORLD. It's an SMG that can penetrate light armor. Ammo for it is plentiful, and it does pretty alright in terms of damage. You use it in a lot of DANMAKU BATTLES.
And, of course, it's light enough to dual-wield, so you grab two (2). These will be your primary weapons.
> Reisen: Get Hecate II.
(http://i.imgur.com/xNdU7.png)
This is a bolt-action anti-material SNIPER RIFLE, and your preferred long-distance weapon of choice. As long as it isn't moving too fast, you can land a shot on any human-sized object at an incredible distance with excellent accuracy. It takes TWO ROUNDS TO FIRE, but the results can be devastating. You have a good supply of HE rounds for it, too!
Plus, let's face it. That huge muzzle brake on the end of it just makes it look awesome. It really sends the message that this gun is going to wreck somebody's shit.
> Reisen: Get .44 Magnum.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ubtf7.png)
I know what you're thinking. "Did she fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?"
Well, do ya, punk?
Unfortunately, you do not have a sufficient VIM rating to dual-wield this LUDICROUSLY POWERFUL SIDEARM, but the RIDICULOUS CRIT BONUS it carries makes it able to just edge out most of your handguns in short-term DPS.
> Reisen: Get Mk22.
(http://i.imgur.com/9H6j8.png)
This is a Mk22 Mod 0 "Hush Puppy". It is a silenced pistol modified to fire tranquilizer bullets. They take some time to work, but with your PHARMATECH skills you can produce toxins that should be able to take down most creatures in Gensokyo (provided they do not manage to locate and dismember you before you manage to put enough bullets into them).
This particular handgun is a well-maintained antique, said to have been used by the LEGENDARY HUMAN SOLDIER, UNCLOTHED SERPENT.
> Reisen: Get Force-A-Nature.
(http://i.imgur.com/pROpg.png)
This is a common but reliable double-barreled shotgun. It does excellent damage against soft targets at close range. It also has ONE HELL OF A KICK, which your VIM RATING is not sufficient to counteract. You are able to use this to your advantage somewhat, as the lightness of the gun combined with the kick provides a BACKWARDS BOOST that can be useful for EVASIVE PURPOSES.
BASICALLY, KIND OF A BIG DEAL.
> Reisen: Get Proton Pack.
(http://i.imgur.com/QWvCj.png)
Super-effective against ghosts! Unfortunately, much to your dismay, this weapon qualifies as a GADGET rather than a GUN; you need SCIENCETECH to gain proficiency with it. It isn't very effective in your hands at all. You leave it behind.
> Reisen: Get Golden Gun.
(http://i.imgur.com/adYyQ.png)
This is one of your favorites. This ASSASSINATION WEAPON breaks down into what appears to be a fancy set made up of a PEN, LIGHTER, CIGARETTE CASE, and CUFFLINK. It can only be loaded with a single bullet, but if equipped with 23-CARAT AMMO, it is the most powerful handgun you own! Unfortunately, you just can't afford to craft that kind of expensive ammunition; you instead load it with PYRITE AMMO as a substitute. Much weaker, but a weapon that an enemy can't find if you're captured tends to prove itself useful.
Since it can be broken down into useful common objects, it takes up space in your INVENTORY rather than your LOADOUT, so there's really no reason not to bring it.
> Reisen: Get Stungun.
(http://i.imgur.com/7aQpX.png)
Sort of worthless, it's not likely to incapacitate anything stronger than a fairy. Still, it barely takes up any space, so you might as well take it.
> Reisen: Get EM-1 Railgun.
(http://i.imgur.com/dOlDs.png)
Now we're cooking with gas. This is an incredibly powerful and accurate rifle; the things it cannot penetrate are close to none. The firing speed is on the slow side, but the damage potential is outstanding, especially against sturdy targets that would resist your handguns. You currently have six rounds for it. It's relatively inexpensive to craft the ALUMINUM SLUGS it uses for ammo, but it is very, very time consuming.
It has an X-Ray Scope as well, but it is currently broken. You cannot currently craft or repair this weapon because it operates using technology you DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL. Seriously, it makes no sense; why is it so strong if the bullets are made of aluminum? How does it generate enough power for a railgun using modern earth technology? It's almost like it's one of those pseudoscientific weapons that come out of SHITTY ACTION MOVIES or something. Oh well.
> Reisen: Get BFG9000.
(http://i.imgur.com/r08Ig.png)
There! The most beautiful sight any soldier can behold...THE GUN. THE BIG GUN!
But...you do not have enough VIM to wield this weapon!! You can't even fit it in your loadout. You'd have to be a BERSERKER PACKING RABBIT AND A HALF to use this PARAGON OF PLASMA WEAPONS. Still, it is a valuable part of your collection. Maybe, just maybe, you will be worthy to carry this glorious weapon someday.
> Reisen: Get Zorg ZF-1.
(http://i.imgur.com/Ea8tb.png)
Soon.
> Reisen: Get Barn Blaster.
(http://i.imgur.com/9Ty6y.png)
Never.
Some random kappa gave you this design to look over. Who makes a gun out of bricks!? While this monstrosity is certainly powerful, it explodes when you pull the trigger, so you're pretty sure there isn't any way to shoot this gun without killing yourself.
> Reisen: Get Nemesis.
(http://i.imgur.com/3kkEb.png)
Despite the IMPOSING NAME, this is a goofy little weapon that just fires unguided DUCKIE DRONES. It does basically no damage. The CRAFTING REQUIREMENTS for this gun are incredibly high, so it must be some kind of cruel joke weapon.
You bring it along for the party, might make a decent conversation piece.
> Reisen: Get Caster Gun.
(http://i.imgur.com/2HNM8.png)
This is a very interesting gun you've managed to get your paws on. It uses CASTER SHELLS as ammunition, which release powerful MAGIC SPELLS on impact. It's useful against targets that are vulnerable to MAGICAL DAMAGE, something a GUNTECH user is typically lacking in.
However, in order to make ammo for it, you need to be a MAGICIAN, and all the magicians you know are jerks. All you have left is a single #3 CASTER SHELL. You decide to bring it along; maybe you'll meet a magician who isn't a jerk.
> Reisen: Get Beam Saber.
(http://i.imgur.com/yOVhP.png)
You grab your standard issue LUNARIAN BEAM SABER to use with your BASIC MELEE ATTACK. It's a neat dark purple color. This is one of the handful of melee weapons that GUNTECH arbitrarily gives you proficiency with for some reason (most of the others are TOOLS, such as wrenches, hatchets, chainsaws, and the like).
It's a good weapon, you just don't have any melee-focused skills to use it with. Maybe you should get Youmu to teach you...but then again, maybe not. You don't really have the stomach to cut people up in close range. You'd much rather stand back and gun them down from a nice, safe distance where you won't get any blood on you.
> Reisen: Get Holy Hand Grenades.
(http://i.imgur.com/D0Zqy.png)
This a regular ol' grenade, except HOLY-ELEMENTAL. It does a really good job of blowing up demons and the like. Might be useful in FORMER HELL. You grab three (3).
You need the help of a PRIEST to craft these, a service Reimu is happily willing to provide (for a TIDY PROFIT, of course).
> Reisen: Return.
Having sufficiently equipped yourself for this FRIENDLY GET-TOGETHER with nothing short of APOCALYPTIC FIREPOWER, you return to the FOYER to check on the others.
> _
[ I have a bit more and I wanted to go farther, but I can't finish it tonight, so I'll post more tomorrow ]
-
Wow, I was expecting some sort of inventory-limit joke, but seems not to be.
-
> Lament that none of your guns shoot shuriken OR lightning bolts.
-
>Wear odd impractical bodysuit ensemble you once saw in a silly human light novel. Something like Blade Culture Atop A Vector.
>Acquire Tewi.
-
Wow, I was expecting some sort of inventory-limit joke, but seems not to be.
Reisen has both a LOADOUT and an INVENTORY. The LOADOUT is limited by weapon size, not weight, so her VIM RATING being a little below par doesn't matter.
> Lament that none of your guns shoot shuriken OR lightning bolts.
I didn't know what gun you were referencing :[
-
It's a gun from the game Painkiller, and the joke/reference was made by Yahtzee in this video (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/57-Painkiller).
-
> Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the VIMest of them all?
-
Ze weapon selection (and ze references) are glorious. Well done.
-
Firstly, good job on the references, I enjoyed them. :D
Also...Crap, I forgot about the Nemesis. Why is it at "shooting ducks" level though? Did Reisen trip over some force gems EXP crystals or something?
On that note...
> Do we have any GUNSMITHING skill since we use GUNTECH? Maybe we can turn that Nemesis into the Quack-O-Blitzer from Ratchet and Clank 3 (which is probably my favorite weapon from video games period, I just can't see anything that can top a gun that can turn enemies into exploding, flaming ducks that dive-bomb enemies and drop exploding eggs :3c).
> See if Eirin has any CROSSBOWS, and if we're able to use them (I'm not sure if they truly count as "GUN"TECH or not).
-
References Stuffman can't make are next to none.
-
I think I can be content with a Stuffmangen sketch of a Barnyard Blaster.
-
While I am hugely content by Huge Guts Reisen, I'll take any excuse to encourage Stuffs to draw Reisen as a million other characters. Therefore:
> See if we can fit in this one. We're fighting Magi after all.
>(http://i46.tinypic.com/qs31v7.jpg)
-
> Look for half a bunny. Need to get to work on that BERSERKER-PACKING BUNNY AND A HALF thing.
-
> Keep extra special attention on hammerspace inventory (read: inside shirt) to prevent tewiscapades
> Speaking of, where is she?
-
> Reisen: Get Force-A-Nature.
Learn to use scatter you noob
Pretty nice selection of guns. All we're missing now is an rpg, a shotgun, and assault rifle to have a standard shoot-em-up loadout. :V
I also forgot to say "> Get Gravity-gun." Guess that'd be a "Gadget/tool" like the proton pack though.
>After acquiring Tewi, check on Eiren.
-
While I am hugely content by Huge Guts Reisen, I'll take any excuse to encourage Stuffs to draw Reisen as a million other characters. Therefore:
> See if we can fit in this one. We're fighting Magi after all.
>(http://i46.tinypic.com/qs31v7.jpg)
Silly Fightest, we don't have the necessary bullets to fire that baby.
-
We could maybe ask Kaguya...then again those bullets would have the wrong 'origin'...but maybe wounds with an 'eternal' attribute would be fun.
Dangerous thoughts!
-
Bugger that noise, we have a Caster. Who needs a magic gun when you have a SPACE MAGIC GUN!
-
If I didn't know exactly where the face in the BFG9000 panel was from, I'd say she has some kind of "WHAT!? NINE THOUSAND!?" look going on. ;-)
-
If I didn't know exactly where the face in the BFG9000 panel was from, I'd say she has some kind of "WHAT!? NINE THOUSAND!?" look going on. ;-)
It's supposed to be the Doom Guy. (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/rip-and-tear-huge-guts)
-
It's supposed to be the Doom Guy. (http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/rip-and-tear-huge-guts)
If I didn't know exactly where the face in the BFG9000 panel was from,
:V
-
:| Forget inserting foot into mouth, I inserted my foot into my EYE. X_X
-
:| Forget inserting foot into mouth, I inserted my foot into my EYE. X_X
Guess you'll need a fourth eye patch :V
-
Guess you'll need a fourth eye patch :V
That would require glasses, and glasses are expensive :< I'm over it now though.
-
> Reisen: Enter foyer.
(http://i.imgur.com/hDno2.png)
You enter to find Eirin and Tewi having a discussion while Medicine looks on absentmindedly. Since none of the other rabbits are being brought to the party, primarily FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY, they are being permitted to throw a party here in Eientei for themselves while you are gone. It appears that Tewi had just finished going over the ground rules with her subordinates.
> Reisen: Examine Eirin.
(http://i.imgur.com/U4fqE.png)
This is your master, EIRIN YAGOKORO, a founding member of the LUNAR CIVILIZATION and one of the greatest geniuses it has ever seen. Although knowledgeable in nearly all matters of academia, her specialty is in the FIELD OF MEDICINE. It can be safely assumed that she has the most advanced PHARMATECH in the world, be it Gensokyo, the moon, or anywhere beyond the border. If it can be cured by modern medical technology, she can cure it. With the aid of the Princess, she even succeeded in creating the legendary HOURAI ELIXIR - which, in the end, wound up being her own undoing.
To keep the story short, after Kaguya imbibed the FORBIDDEN ELIXIR OF IMMORTALITY and was banished to the Earth, Eirin followed her there and joined her in exile out of her own guilt. Since then, they've lived quietly here in Eientei. After the hubbub of the IMPERISHABLE NIGHT INCIDENT, Eientei was opened up and began interacting with the humans and youkai again, and Eirin has been offering her services as a doctor to the public. You also travel out to the HUMAN VILLAGE to sell her medicines.
Your master is so intelligent that she can be hard to follow sometimes. Furthermore, she is very strict; the Princess is pretty much the only person she doesn't drill into around here. Regardless, you know that she does care for you, and you can't say that working under her hasn't been beneficial. Your skills are developing at an impressive rate.
> Reisen: Examine Tewi.
(http://i.imgur.com/BxJpP.png)
Here she is. The touhou that needs no introduction, as she is quite possibly the most hated character of all: TEWI INABA. Tewi is well known for her seemingly endless supply of lies, pranks, and scams. She does at least stop short of outright theft, claiming "that's the chump way to do it".
Tewi is the leader of all the Earth rabbits that live in Eientei. Eientei is built on what could be considered the RABBIT'S PROPERTY, so the Princess and Eirin are basically in a sort of partnership with Tewi (one that no doubt works very much to her advantage).
Although you are ostensibly in charge of the rabbits as well, they will always take Tewi's word over yours, so you are effectively the LOWEST-RANKING PERSON IN EIENTEI. This makes you Tewi's favorite target for her SHENANIGANS, which you are subjected to almost every day. Needless to say, you and Tewi DON'T REALLY GET ALONG.
You patiently wait for her conversation with Eirin to finish.
(http://i.imgur.com/dZ11m.png)
But before that happens, Kaguya walks in! Looks like the Princess fully intends to throw her weight around as THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN GENSOKYO. Eirin, Tewi, and Medicine offer their sincere praise for her OVERWHELMING PULCHRITUDE.
(http://i.imgur.com/92Hne.png)
You, on the other hand, warn Kaguya that the oni's party will be not so much of a BALLROOM AFFAIR and more akin to a DRUNKEN BAR FIGHT. However, she insists that this will be their first time meeting any Lunarians and that she needs to make a STRONG IMPRESSION. Besides, her MANIPULATION OF ETERNITY will keep her dress in perfect shape!
> Reisen: Depart.
With that settled, it's about time for all of you to get going. Eirin gives a few final instructions to a few of the rabbits, and the Eientei crew is out the door and on their way.
(http://i.imgur.com/wJAcr.png)
After a few minutes, your master turns to you and asks if you remembered to LOCK UP THE LAB. You reply that YOU DID NOT. This perplexes you, because you do not remember any such order and Eirin usually handles that responsibility herself. Seeing that you are confused, she explains that she TOLD MEDICINE to relay the order to you earlier this morning. You tell her that Medicine did not complete this duty, but Medicine protests and insists that she told you while you were in the FOREST OF MAGIC. Eirin asks, regardless, if you could run back and make sure it's secure.
(http://i.imgur.com/AuFq4.png)
Just before you turn to go, Tewi says she just remembered she ALSO FORGOT SOMETHING, and tells Eirin she'll BE RIGHT BACK. She hurries along with you, and brings Medicine too.
Your SHENANIGANS DETECTION is going wild, so you ask Tewi what she forgot. She tells you that she forgot to tell the rabbits where she stored the TIKI TORCHES. You ask why she's bringing Medicine along. She tells you that it's to add INSECT REPELLANT to the torches, duh!
For a normal person these would be perfectly valid excuses (hiding the tiki torches is part of your master's FIRE SAFETY PROTOCOLS), but Tewi can make up stuff like that on the spot, no problem. However, she does have a habit of breadcrumbing her pranks from time to time, and you're pretty sure she wouldn't do something as brutish as SETTING YOU ON FIRE, so your questions are DECIDEDLY FRUITLESS.
> Reisen: Go to the lab.
You arrive at your master's lab a few minutes later, only to discover a THIEF within!
(http://i.imgur.com/nPAwY.png)
You discover one of the rabbits, and scold her for trying to get into EIRIN'S DRUG SUPPLY.
(http://i.imgur.com/Bc3XE.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ugCUv.png)
Poor Parsnips. Addiction is a powerful thing. You tell her you'll have a talk with her after you get back from the party, and lock up the lab securely after seeing her out.
> Reisen: Catch up with Eirin.
You head back into the forest, hustling along to catch up to your masters. Along the way, you encounter some of the Princess's handiwork.
(http://i.imgur.com/3vaE5.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/6NFvw.png)
Before you catch up to Eirin and Kaguya, however, Tewi and Medicine catch up to you. Tewi calls out for you to wait.
(http://i.imgur.com/P8BK7.png)
Tewi says that she has made a cake to give to YUUGI HOSHIGUMA as a gift, but knows that oni don't trust pranksters and is concerned that Yuugi won't eat it if she is the one to give it to her. As such, she ASKS YOU TO GIVE YUUGI THE CAKE.
(http://i.imgur.com/wChZj.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/lIdzZ.png)
NICE TRY, you tell Tewi, but this one is too obvious!! She put soybeans in the cake, and wanted you to take it so that when Yuugi tried to eat it her anger would be misdirected towards you!
(http://i.imgur.com/GjEP1.png)
But...you don't taste any soybeans...
Suddenly, your body goes stiff, and you fall to the ground!
(http://i.imgur.com/hl2Nv.png)
WHAT A SHAME, says Tewi. That cake had Medicine's paralyzation poison in it! For flavor, of course. Not enough to affect an oni, but a rabbit like you will be paralyzed for hours. IF ONLY you had just given the cake to Yuugi, nothing bad would have happened! You should really trust her more, she says.
Medicine thinks this is hilarious.
You do not.
(http://i.imgur.com/kGima.png)
The two of them run away laughing, leaving you on the bamboo forest floor, stiff as a board. You swear MORTAL VENGEANCE against them, and prepare yourself for a EXCEPTIONALLY UNPLEASANT COUPLE OF HOURS.
[ This is a good breaking point, so this update will continue in a new thread! ]
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Courtesy lock.