> How long has the SDM been in Gensokyo? Had to be before 1999-ish, didn't it?
I'm going to avoid naming specific dates for things since I think that'll turn into a quagmire pretty fast.
Partial update, since I ran out of time tonight.
> Byakuren / Remilia: Namubreak / Charismusan.
> Patchouli: Take all of it.You take ALL THE YENS. ALL OF THEM.
The oni happen to be in possession of quite a few quaint, old-timey magical artifacts. Most of them are booze-related, but that doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't want them. You grab all 50,000 yen in case you see something valuable you want! At least that way you won't have to beg Remi for it.
You update your inventory.
WEAPON: Spellbook
ARMOR: Cat's Pajamas
HAT: Patchouli Potpourri Cap
?: 50,000
F$: 0
You don't really carry much around. Your abysmal VIM stat gives you a minimal weight capacity anyway.
Oh, but you do have your BACKUP CANDY. You pull it out of your cap to check on it.
You confirm the safety of the two pieces of GOOD & PLENTY, the delicious chewy licorice candy. You're not sure which one is the GOOD and which one is the PLENTY, though.
> Patchouli: Fawn over Obi-Wan.
No need to cry for Old Ben. He's more powerful than we can possibly imagine now.
> Patchouli: Destroy contract.Nope, that won't do any good. Her agency has a copy too.
Not even the mutual agreement of you and your familiar can cancel your contract. Your creditors are dead set on collecting their payment.
> Patchouli: Ask magic mirror who the least fairest is.
The mirror replies that it is BACON GREASE, THE FATTEST FAIRY IN GENSOKYO.
> Patchouli: Evaluate quality of various hands.
Look at the way she parades her hands around. What a little exhibitionist. You will admit that Remilia's hands are of exceptional quality, but they're not really your type. You like long, sexy fingers, and Remi's hands are quite small.
You go over a quick list of all the HANDS you are familiar with.
KOAKUMA: Wears cheap fake nails, uses tacky nail polish colors, sometimes uses stickers or glitter on them. Incredibly trashy.
SAKUYA: Her nails are kept very trim and her hands are a little rough from all the housework she does, which is a shame since they have a nice shape to them.
MEILING: Her hands were probably long and gorgeous at one point, but they've been utterly battered by her martial arts training. A tragedy.
FLANDRE: Same as Remilia, but often has smudges. You hope that's not blood.
REIMU: Although she can't afford good soap and her palms are a bit rough from all the sweeping she does, you must say you're a bit taken by the skill and grace of her fingers. Her handwriting in particular is startlingly beautiful. Must be all those seals she writes.
MARISA: Grubby thief paws.
NITORI: Small little hands, always dirty and perpetually injured from her handiwork. Ugly.
Your own hands aren't that great. Very soft, but somewhat withered and bony. It's hereditary for witches. At least you made the Philosopher's Stone before you started getting into the warts.
> Patchouli: Change outfits.Right, better get this over with.
You slip out of your pajamas and put on your SEXIEST PARTY DRESS.
This should satisfy Remilia, yes? Good thing you're such a knockout under that musty robe.
HAHA JUST KIDDING. You actually look like this.
You dig into your dresser for something that will make this trainwreck presentable.
