Shoot the Moon

[Smallfry]

Angry oni wants her gourd

Now see there, that's why the military can't be trusted to do anything right.

[capt. h]

Day 4, 6:00 AM

Report on yesterday?s events

Summary

10:00 ? Reimu Hakurei?s interrogation begins.

10:12 ? The horned prisoner woke up. We have confirmed the horned prisoner?s name to be Suika Ibuki. Ibuki immediately demands her gourd. Information concerning the gourd is classified.

10:14 ? Ibuki hurls a bed through the west wall of the medical wing. Code red status initiated. Hakurei escorted to her cell.

10:15 ? Ibuki disappears, and hundreds of smaller Ibukis appear. A strange fog forms throughout the compound, including within the buildings of the compound.

10:17 ? The medical ward is locked down, with all the small Ibukis in it.

10:21 ? Hakurei confirmed to be locked in her cell.

10:23 ? The small Ibukis hold a party, As a result, the medical ward sustained approximately 1.2 million dollars in damages.

10:24 ? The fog enters the prison.

10:32 ? The fog is sighted in the airplane hangar.

10:39 ? The fog is sighted in the research laboratories.

10:41 ? The gourd is stolen by the normal sized Ibuki, who punched her way out of the gourd?s containment area. The method she used to get into the research containment
area is currently unknown.

10:43 ? Ibuki reappears standing 50 feet tall above the prison, holding the gourd. She begins drinking heavily from it, complaining about how hard it is to get a drink. The small Ibukis have disappeared.

10:44 ? The prison block is destroyed by Ibuki. As a result 53 prisoners including Hakurei successfully escaped. Our soldiers open fire, to no apparent effect besides complaints of stinging from Ibuki.

10:46 ? Ibuki is wounded by a rocket. She complains that no one here knows how to relax, and commands the soldiers to have a party. Ibuki overturns her gourd. The compound is flooded with sake. Early approximations place the quantity of sake between 1 and 2 million gallons.

10:47 ? The sake flood ignited. Preliminary inspections indicate this was due to a short cause by the sake in the electrical wiring. A strange fog appeared, which when combined with the smoke from the fire, caused a loss of visual on Ibuki. There are no sightings of Hakurei nor Ibuki after this time so they are both currently considered missing.

11:04 ? A fuel storage tank was ruptured due to the fires and exploded.

11:13 ? By this time the fog has dissipated enough to be a non factor in operations

11:17 ? We were able to successfully contain the fires.

11:43 ? The first media helicopters arrive.

12:03 ? The last reported fires were extinguished. A complete list of the damaged equipment has yet to be completed.

13:06 ? The prison area was secured.

14:53 ? Three of the escaped prisoners were discovered and returned to base.

18:37 ? All areas of the base except the fuel depo are deemed safe by the fire marshal and our structural engineers. Cleanup operations are begun immediately. Red alert no longer in effect.


______________________

?Soldier, I want all the engineers and scientists we can spare figuring out how the two Gensokyo prisoners were able to pull off their escape. Naturally if they try to re-enter Gensokyo they are to be captured, but we won?t be able to capture this Ibuki until we can stop whatever technology she is using.?

?A lot of information is being released about the object that impacted the moon. Several amateur astronomers have been tracking the object, and reports are starting to enter the news. We expect the location of origin, the Hakurei shrine, to be calculated by civilian universities and released within a day.?

?We should release that information before any other organization does. Report that the object was launched by a terrorist cell, and that we are currently engaging hostiles in the region. Secure the area around the Hakurei forest; make sure no civilians enter the area.? The general continued, ?How have we progressed in our capture of the village??

?We are surrounding the village, the village should be completely cut off in a few days. Then we will launch a raid.?

?Good. Carry on soldier.?

?Yes sir.?

[capt. h]

Day 3, 8:20 PM

?Hey Reimu, is your arm alright??

?No.?

?What?s wrong??

?I lost my shrine, I can?t use my arm, I was locked in prison, now we?re lost, we have no food, and I?m sure those guys from before are searching for us. I?ve had a bad day Suika.?

?Yeah, I have those kinds of days all the time. You get used to it when you party like me.?

?That?s why I don?t party like you.?

?I?m sure everything will work out in the end.?

?Maybe for you, you can live forever on that gourd of yours. I need something a little more substantive than sake.?

?I?m sure we?ll find something for you to eat if we just keep going straight.?

?Or I?ll die of starvation.?

?Beats dying of thirst,? Suika taking a huge gulp from her gourd for emphasis, ?or being stuck in that prison.?

?They had muffins in the prison.?

?You got muffins and didn?t share them with me? Gimme!? Suika lunged for Reimu, searching the shrine maiden?s pockets.

?I don?t have any now!?

?Liar, you?re just hiding them really well.?

?If you want muffins so bad, why don?t you just gather them.?

?Good idea. Suika squad, assemble!?

Suika ripped out twenty of her hairs, and each hair became a smaller Suika.

?Suikas, count off!?

?Suika one, reporting!?

?Suika two, reporting!?

?Suika three, reporting!?

?You?re not Suika three, I?m Suika three.?

?No, you?re Suika seven.?

?No, I?m Suika seven.?

?Fine, we get it.? Reimu cut in. ?Now have them find the shrine.?

?That?s a good idea too! Suikas one through six, look for Reimu?s shrine. Suikas seven through twenty, gather us muffins!?

?Yay muffins!? all the little Suikas shouted.

?Can?t they all do both at the same time??

?Yep, but this way?s more fun.?

[capt. h]

Day 3, 2:05 PM

From a bunker deep in the bamboo forest of the lost, the residents of Eientei prepared for their usual war.

?Squad three, report.?

?All clear!?

?Squad four, report.?

?All clear!?

?Squad five, report.?

??Squad five??



?Udonge!?

?...?

?All squads, we have a possible Mokou sighting in the south east quadrant. Prepare your weapons and head out.?

?Yes ma?am!?

 ?Princess, this could be a prank by Tewi and the other rabbits, which means that responding leaves us open from the north.?

?Good point Eirin.? ?Tewi, report to the control room immediately!?

?Yes princess?? a short girl with rabbit ears popped in to the room.

?Why isn?t Reisen responding??

?It must be Mokou, ma?am.?

Kaguya continued to glare at the girl, and Tewi began shirking away.

?Are you sure it?s Mokou.?

?Yes ma?am.?

 

?I swear it wasn?t me this time. I was on patrol in the northern quadrant.?

Kaguya continued to glare.

?Fine, I was stealing carrots from the village gardens. Happy now??

?We?ll talk about that later. But for now, we?ll treat the southern threat as Mokou.?

?You shouldn?t.?

A white haired girl came bursting into the room, where outside two guards were out cold. Normally the burns would have killed them, but youkai guards are much hardier than human guards.

?Mokou, how did you find us??

?I followed that rabbit home. You know, when you decide to steal, you should really avoid doing it from Keine?s garden.?

?Tewi, we?re going to have a long talk after this.?

?Followed by extensive medical testing,? Eirin added, to Tewi?s terror.

?So, do I win??

?Not yet. Eirin, use the arrows!?

Erin shot Mokou through the chest several times, while Mokou began twisting Kaguya?s right arm.

?Say uncle.?

?Come on already, we went all out with the poison on the arrows. Even if the chest wounds don?t get you, you should be on the floor screaming from the poisons.?

Then, Kaguya?s arm sickeningly cracked, and blood began flowing out of the tear.

?Alright, alright I give. But why aren?t you writhing in agony??

?Eirin?s stuffed me full of embalming fluid and dissected me on two different occasions. Did you really think there exists a poison that hurts more than that??

?You?re no fun. At least pretend to look tortured.?

?You?re one to talk. I just twisted your arm off, and you?re already exchanging pleasantries.?

?Princess,? Eirin cut in, ?if Mokou and Tewi are both here, then there is probably a third party involved in the communication break with Udonge. Perhaps we should investigate??

?Exactly. We?re immortal, we can torture each other to death later. But Udonge isn?t.? Kaguya picked up the radio with her good arm, the other one lying limp and bloody by her side. ?Troops, what is the status on squad five??

?There appears to be several humans in the south east quadrant taking prisoners. Current objective unknown, but they are using some strange weapons. They shoot bullets like spell cards, but only a few bullets at a time, and the shots move way too fast to dodge.?

?Mokou, want to come along? I could use some extra protection.?

?Sure, I always wanted to use you as a meat shield.?

?And please rip those arrows out outside, the sound they make coming out is disgusting.?

?Well sorry for being shot, princess.?

[Smallfry]

Make Mokou fry them.

[capt. h]

Feel free to review this chapter. I do think the characters act like they would, but I think some of the dialogue is off.

Or the actions could also be a little off this time. Or it could be perfect, and I'm just overthinking.

Incidently, according to my notes we are on day 5 of the incident.

__________________________________


Day 4, 2:35 PM

?We have a package. Under heavy fire, requesting extraction.?

?Request noted, a chopper will be there within fifteen minutes. Get to the extraction point by 15:00.?

?Also requesting a napalm strike. Sending coordinates.?

?Confirmed. Napalm strike on the way. Get out of there.?

?Yes sir!?

The soldiers were very far over their heads. They were under heavy fire from a barrage of what could best be described as magic, but that was impossible because there is no such thing. The soldiers have subdued and captured several of the biologically engineered enemy soldiers, these ones with rabbit ears strangly enough, and were running for their lives to the extraction.

?Now where do you think you?re going with my servants?? asked the long haired woman in front of them.

?Yeah, take Kaguya instead.? Added the white haired woman that appeared behind them.

?No, don?t take me, you should take Mokou. She?s much more interesting.?

?You?ll get a much higher ransom taking Kaguya. She?s a princess.?

?Why are you taking Reisen anyway?? Eirin asked from some cover behind Kaguya.

?Research. We?re investigating the biological enhancements of the soldiers in the area.?

?There aren?t any biological enhancements in Reisen. Now, me and princess here used the Hourai elixir to become immortal, so I don?t see why you want Reisen.?

?Yes, please take Mokou instead.?

?No, take Kaguya.?

?Mokou enhanced herself twice, so she?d be much better for your research.?

?If you take Kaguya, you can leverage her for Eirin?s research and her money.?

?Mokou doesn?t have any family or friends, so no one will miss her.?

??I?d be more insulted, but that?s kind of true. Screw it, you die princess.?

The two women began fighting amongst eachother, which the team of soldiers used to continue to the extraction point. The distraction left the two to feel the air strike, while the soldiers reached their extraction point to find the third woman waiting.

?You will not take my apprentice or my princess?s servants.?

The soldiers raised their weapons to a puff of smoke that left them and their captives in tears and vomitting. Eirin sent some of Kaguya?s soldier rabbits to collect the hostages, and ran as the soldier?s helicopter came to pick them up.

?Where is the package??

?We lost the package.?

?I?ll go with you if you want.?

The soldiers looked up at the white haired girl from before through their tears.

?What??

?I?m bored, and I want to know how you torched Kaguya. You?ve got some really cool toys. Haven?t seen anything like this in Gensokyo.? Mokou said, gazing in awe at the helicopter.

The commander stared for a second, then asked,

??how did you survive??

?I told you, I?m immortal.?

The commander continued to stare, before slowly leaving his shock and reporting back ?package is in our custody.? Mokou entered the helicopter and the group took off.

[capt. h]

Day 4, 3:00 PM

Two lunarians were on the bright side of the moon, the scientific moon, before a large flaming ball of gas. Yorihime was using the power of the wind god Aether to keep the pair breathing, and Neptune to keep the two cool.

?Well Toyo, you go first. I?ve always wanted to see you use your fan.?

?Sure thing Yori.?

The girl raised her fan in the air, and swung it down. A massive crater was purified into existence before her and the flames were split. For about a second. Then the flames returned to where they stood before.

?Your turn.?

?Amaterasu, absorb these flames into yourself.?

??Amaterasu??

?Why are you ignoring me??

?Is everything alright Yori??

?It appears that the sun goddess consents to this fireball being here.?

?But why??

?I?m not sure, but I know it?s Yukari?s fault. It?s always Yukari?s fault with these things.?

?So what now??

?There isn?t a god to summon powerful enough to beat the sun goddess on his own, if she gave this her blessing. I?ll have to use several at once. Still, this is troubling.?

?It?s very strange that the sun goddess was on earth though. I can?t imagine that those earthlings took control of a god, but I don?t see any other reason the sun goddess would attack the moon, and do it from earth.?

?I?d like to ask the gods why the sun goddess is here.?

?We can do that after you?ve reduced the fires.?

?Can you tell the capital to give all the spare faith to Neptune and Poseidon? They?re going to need it.?

?On it Yori, do you think that will work??

?It won?t stop Amaterasu completely, but it should keep her flames from spreading. Also leave a hole open to the sea of tranquility. I?m going to need lots of water.?

[Smallfry]

Mokou is now a conscript. I love this story  :]

[capt. h]

Day 4, 8:55 PM

?Sun expansion far below normal rates. Danger of destabilization. Please stop pouring the ocean onto my hell fires.?

?Are you the one burning up the moon?? Yorihime inquired.

?Hi, I?m Utsuho Reiuji. My friends call me Okuu.?

?Hello Utsuho. Are you burning up the moon??

?Yep! I?m making it just like Hell.?

?I cannot believe you were granted the blessing of Amaterasu.?

?Oh she?s dead.?

?Raven who kills god, feel the wrath of the gods.?

?Unyu??

Yorihime stuck here sword in the ground and paralyzed the raven where she stood.

?That?s a pretty cool sword you got there. But I can?t leave the fires unattended too long, or the moon will blow up. Can you let me go now??

?An assassin of the gods has no rights. They taint everything they touch with their presence. Know your impurity, raven, and despair.?

?I?m from hell. I?m done despairing my impurity. Now can I get back to making this lifeless rock into a bright, vibrant sun??

?You will be tried before the lunar courts for your crimes against the gods and-?

A large nearby explosion cut Yorihime short.

?90 second until reaction destabilizes beyond point of no return. If I don?t keep the nuclear reactions from going haywire, they lose their form and start destabilizing rapidly. You might want to let me go fix it now.?

?I?ll never let- ?

Another explosion happened nearby, followed by caution banners and warning sirens blaring from Utsuho?s control rod.

?You are coming with me. You will receive justice for you crimes against-?

?60 seconds until loss of control. Immediate action required. I would go through that gap you?re using to douse the flames,? the raven interrupted. ?Pretty soon, even I-? Whatever the raven said was lost in the following explosion. Yorihime, not wanting to stick around, took the raven?s advice. After a great deal of swimming, she returned home to calculate her next move with Toyohime. Meanwhile, Utsuho managed to calm the instability Yorihime caused.

?Heh, lunar courts. Doesn?t she know the moon is dead??



_____________
Authors note: Is Okuu too direct here? I feel like the dialogue might be off. Or it might be spot-on. Feel free to review the chapters; it'll help me increase the quality.

[Smallfry]

Actually, she swallowed Yatagarasu.

[Serena]

According to the Touhou wiki, the Yatagarasu is either "thought to be [the Sun's] guardian beast or, more often, the manifestation of the Sun's deity", so "Yatagarasu as a God" works.

Anyway, I think Utsuho's dialogue here is fine. Technical where it needs to be and quite simple and blunt in normal conversation; seems like how she would act.

[capt. h]

Author's note: It's weird, but I didn't even realize there was a difference between yatagarasu and amaterasu when I wrote that. I was even confused when you pointed out the error because I thought we were talking about the same thing. Thanks, I'll be interpretting Yatagarasu as the manifistation of the sun deity Amaterasu for this story.

On with the story!



_________________________

Day 5, 10:00 AM


?Who are you employed by??

?I?m currently a vagrant. But those rabbits you were trying to take are employed by Kaguya.?

?And who is this Kaguya?? the interrogator demanded.

?She?s a lunarian princess who was banished to earth when she drank the hourai elixir. It?s an elixir of immortality. I drank it myself, and we?ve been killing eachother ever since.?

?What is this lunarian organization to which you refer??

?It?s not an organization. It?s a race of people who live on the moon. Kaguya is their princess. Her assistant, Eirin, was also banished to earth partially for creating the hourai elixir. She?s the best doctor on earth.?

?Tell us everything you know about the moon.?

?I don?t know anything about the moon, but Kaguya and Eirin live at Eientei. There?s also a lunar rabbit. You should invade the place. It?s fun.?
The interrogator was getting somewhat flustered, but he wasn?t sure how to respond to Mokou. She was either not taking the questions seriously, or was completely insane. Probably the latter.

?Three days ago, an object was launched from this area. Two days ago, it impacted the moon. What do you know about this object.?

?Nothing, but I would ask Yukari if you can find her. It?s usually her fault, although I doubt she would have sent anything to the moon like that.?

?Why not her??

?Because she can just open a hole in reality and warp to anywhere, as far as I know. She wouldn?t have a need or a reason to use the direct route.?

 ?What is your relationship with Reimu Hakurei??

?She?s a shrine maiden. Teamed up with about eight other people to beat me up a few years ago. She likes to pick fights with strangers for no reason. She also solves problems.?

?And Suika Ibuki??

?Never heard of her.?

?How do you know Yukari??

?I remember her. She and her shikigami Ran teamed up with Reimu to beat me up.?

?Ran??

?Ran Yakumo.?

?Who is this Ran, and what does being a shikigami entail??

?She?s a servant for Yukari, bound by magical contract. A master of the demon arts. She has her own shikigami Chen I?m told, but I?ve never met the little cat. You don?t seem to believe in magic though.?

?Stop treating this as a game, and tell us what?s going on with the moon.? The interrogator was getting very flustered by all the nonsensical answers.

?I?m not treating this as a game. But I?ve heard outerworlders don?t believe in magic. Maybe a demonstration.? Mokou aimed her finger at her face, her head blew up splattering blood and grey matter across the room, and she fell over.

Within ten seconds, she got up again.

?Are we done now??

The interrogator stood in shock, unmoving.

?I guess we?re done here then.?

[Smallfry]

I love Mokou <3

[capt. h]

Day 5, 1:00 PM

?So Mokou, how did you become immortal??

?About 1,300 years ago I drank the Hourai elixir ? it makes the drinker completely immortal. It was developed by the Lunarians, specifically Eirin, for Princess Kaguya. She left it on earth, and it would have been destroyed, but I got to it first.?

The psychiatrist wrote a note on his clipboard ?Delusional. Possibly schizophrenic.?

?Where is the Hourai Elixer now??

?If I told you that, you might be tempted to get it. While I wouldn?t mind more immortals to fight the crushing loneliness, it would drive you insane.?

?And how are you able to manipulate fire??

?Immortality is nice, but it has this stigma attached, where everyone wants to try to kill the immortal. I?m told Kaguya herself was executed a few times when she was on the moon, and the villages I went to seemed to have a fear of immortals. So I went to this phoenix god and let him possess me. Now we?re one and the same I think. It increases the healing rate, but it can burn something awful, you just get used to it after a while.?

The psychiatrist continued to take notes.

?I?m writing you a prescription for Antischizoframe.?

?No thanks, I don?t need it.?

?Are you sure??

?It?s not like I have to worry about my health.?

The doctor and Mokou sat in silence for a minute, before he continued, ?Are you completely immortal??

?Yes.?

?I don?t understand, complete immortality is impossible.?

?That?s why it?s called magic.?

?Once again, it should be impossible.?

?In Gensokyo, magic is real. The impossible happens every day. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be to understand that it is impossible to kill me.? Another pause filled the room.

?Maybe if I broke some fundamental physical law? I can do lots of fun things with entropy. It?s one of the up sides of the whole immortal phoenix thing.?

?I?ll have to ask my superiors. Can you explain how magic works??

?Sure.? And Mokou began a long, boring explanation into the mathematics behind magic.

[Marokuu]

?I?m not treating this as a game. But I?ve heard outerworlders don?t believe in magic. Maybe a demonstration.? Mokou aimed her finger at her face, her head blew up splattering blood and grey matter across the room, and she fell over.

Within ten seconds, she got up again.

?Are we done now??

If I ever became immortal this is exactly what I would do if I was ever asked to prove it.

Also "mathematics behind magic" pfff :]

[capt. h]

Day 4, 4:15 PM


The gatekeeper of the scarlet devil mansion was in what she called deep meditation. But instead of being brought out of her meditation by a knife to the forehead, she was jostled by 4 soldiers.

?It?s not sleeping! I mean, Halt, state your business with my mistress.?

?We are searching for targets of interest within the region.?

?Present your invitation, or I will remove you from the premises by force.?

?We have no invitation.?

?Then leave.?

?Look missy,? one of the guards said, reaching for Meiling?s shoulder.

It turns out that six years of learning hand to hand combat techniques within the military does not amount to much against decades of martial arts training. The resulting beat down resulted in a broken arm and six lost teeth before one of his comrades decided to shoot Meiling through the thigh.

 ?Don?t think that will stop me,? Meiling declared, hurling the first soldier into the second.

Another bang, and both legs were bleeding.

?I?m not through yet,? and Meiling?s arms began to glow.

With two more shots both arms were bleeding as well.

??What do you want??

?Hostile captured. Ready for pickup.?

?I don?t care if you injure our gate guard, but depressing as it is, she is the most reliable help we could find in the region. I can?t allow you to take her away.? A silver hair woman appeared wielding several knives.

?Fire at will.?

Sakuya stopped time and start hurling knives. Within seconds, the soldiers suffered dozens of stab wounds.

?All wounded, forced to retreat. Need an evac stat.?

?Confirmed. Evac incoming.?

?Let?s get you inside China.?

?It?s Meiling. May-Ling. Not China,? Meiling whispered before the blood loss got to her.

[Marokuu]

Meiling is awesome as always I see :3

[capt. h]

Day 6, 10:00 AM

?We are about to dissect you. Are you sure you accept??

?Sure, why not. Just use absolutely no embalming fluid. Last time kind of hurt.?

?You are going to die. You know that.?

?Yeah, but it doesn?t have to hurt as much as last time.?

Mokou was lying on an operating table deep within a military base, and the doctor found her behavior odd at best. He pitied her, she was clearly quite brainwashed. Or very delusional. Still, he was curious to know how Mokou managed that trick during the interrogation. After all, she couldn?t have really blown her own head off. It was interesting, but nobody?s immortal. So this time he would make sure there was no doubt.

?O.K., I?m going to kill you now.?

The doctor placed a mask over Mokou?s face, and the girl drifted slowly off to sleep. Once her heart stopped, the doctor began making cuts.

?Well, she seems normal. Some odd things in here though, like bits of dirt and splinters.?

?Heh, must not have finished resurrecting from last time.?

It was the doctor?s turn for his heart to stop, as the corpse before him started talking.

?Hey, watch where you put that knife. You want to examine my organs, not butcher them.?

?Oh, um, sorry.?

The doctor?s hands trembled as he made his cuts, not only from the patient talking, but from the organs healing themselves as quickly as he cut them. Though to be fair, this was the first time he dissected a still living body.

?You should back up now.?

?What? Aaahg!?

Mokou had exploded into flames before the doctor, her wound healing much more quickly than before. In a moment, she was as healthy as she entered the room.

?How did you??

?I?m an immortal phoenix, how many times do we have to go over this. Now are we done, or do you have to begin all over again.?

?For now,? the doctor paused, still trembling in an odd combination of fright, curiosity, and wonder. ?But would you mind if we performed additional tests later??

?You could do them now.?

?Normally perhaps, but right now I desperately need a new change of pants.?

[Sect]

Two things: even if you're treating Yatagarasu and Amaterasu as one and the same, Amaterasu is female. Second, I'm finding it REALLY hard to believe that any organization can be as idiotic as the "military" in this story, so I'm just going to chalk this story up as being absurdism and move on.

[capt. h]

Two things: even if you're treating Yatagarasu and Amaterasu as one and the same, Amaterasu is female. Second, I'm finding it REALLY hard to believe that any organization can be as idiotic as the "military" in this story, so I'm just going to chalk this story up as being absurdism and move on.

Right, I went back to revise the lines about Amaterasu.

I must have been making some pretty serious judgement errors for a long, long time though. While I do like absurdism (and that along with other things gives me trouble when I try to write serious stories), the military was supposed to be a relatively normal military, (which might be why they seem so idiotic). Could you point out what they did and where it parts from a normal military? I'd like to go back and revise all the sections where the army acts dumber than an army in this situation would.

Also would it help if I placed a day and time counter in my story? Since Reimu was captured fairly late on day three, and I've just finished day five of the incident. So between Reimu's interrogation and the current point in the story, about 48 hours have passed.

I placed a counter so you can tell how many days have passed in story. At the beginning of every post is the time the events happened.

[capt. h]

Day 4, 7:00 PM

A very angry Remilia stared down at an unconscious Meiling at the medical clinic in Eientei. Beside Meiling lay Kaguya, burned and annoyed.

?Kaguya??

?Yes??

?They all die.?

?Yes.?

?Shall we team up??

??No. Which do you think is stronger, Eientei or the Scarlet Devil Mansion??

?Why my mansion of course.?

?Really? I think Eientei is the more powerful house.?

?Well, I suppose you plan to settle the issue.?

?Yes. Using the heads of our enemies.?

?Trivializing war into a contest. I like it.?

?Bring all the heads you can next week.?

?Violence and brutality made into a game. Does immortality do that to everyone, or is it just you??

?I don?t see you complaining.?

?What can I say; vampires love the hunt.?

[Sect]

the military was supposed to be a relatively normal military, (which might be why they seem so idiotic).

And now I'm personally offended.

I'm not going to even argue about how you're depicting "Country A"'s military strategies, ability to deal with civilians and unknowns, and general sanity, since it would only result in me getting madder and pretty much ruining everybody's day, so I'm just going to talk about the obvious plot holes. You say that Gensokyo can only be accessed through the Hakurei Shrine: so how the hell did all of those soldiers get there? Rumia was encountered before Reimu and Suika, so obviously that one soldier got in somewhere else. Also, again, there's the issue of communication apparantly working through the barrier. For that matter, how the hell did the helicopters and the planes delivering payloads of napalm (and the mere issue of using napalm on Japanese soil is a whole 'nother can of worms) get there?

So, my advice: save face, and don't bother trying to pass this off as being a serious story. It works as an absurd humor story, but once you try to apply it to reality (with some willing suspension of disbelief, considering the whole nature of Touhou), it breaks down, hard.

[capt. h]

And now I'm personally offended.

I'm not going to even argue about how you're depicting "Country A"'s military strategies, ability to deal with civilians and unknowns, and general sanity, since it would only result in me getting madder and pretty much ruining everybody's day, so I'm just going to talk about the obvious plot holes. You say that Gensokyo can only be accessed through the Hakurei Shrine: so how the hell did all of those soldiers get there? Rumia was encountered before Reimu and Suika, so obviously that one soldier got in somewhere else. Also, again, there's the issue of communication apparantly working through the barrier. For that matter, how the hell did the helicopters and the planes delivering payloads of napalm (and the mere issue of using napalm on Japanese soil is a whole 'nother can of worms) get there?

So, my advice: save face, and don't bother trying to pass this off as being a serious story. It works as an absurd humor story, but once you try to apply it to reality (with some willing suspension of disbelief, considering the whole nature of Touhou), it breaks down, hard.

Wow, you're right, and I'm really sorry. I messed up big time. I could (and perhaps should) add some chapters to the beginning, and change when Rumia appears. Truthfully, I don't know anything about military strategies, but I knew that I had to include them since the real world would obviously take an interest in this incident. Heck, some of the strategies are (lovingly) ripped right from Call of Duty.

Now, the entrance to Gensokyo is the area around the Hakurei shrine. Enter any other way, and you won't get in, in fact there wouldn't be anything there. After a while, the military figured that out, and have been using that hole in the barrier to do just about everything, from sending helicopters and troops to communicating. They aren't actually communicating through the barrier, but are communicating through the hole in the barrier around the Hakurei shrine.

I have communicated the strategy rather poorly, and it might be a rather bad strategy, since I knew I needed the army, but didn't know much about it. Initially, they were gathering intelligence, the goal was to stay relatively undetected while finding what could have caused the incident. The soldiers didn't want to be detected by Reimu, and didn't know she was special at the time, which is why they found Rumia first (Once again, it's very open to revision). Once they realized the nature of the hostiles,

Spoiler:

they started with the Hakurei shrine, and decided to surround the major population center to cut off the terrorist escape routes before invading. It didn't work. They also wanted to capture as many enemy combatants as possible for research, rather than kill them. But I agree, the strategy is questionable at best.

I guess I should continue writing it as an absurd humor story though.

[GuyYouMetOnline]

Yes. Yes you should. This story is, to be perfectly honest, stupid, but sometimes a story is enjoyable precicely because it's stupid, and this is one of those times. The worst thing that could happen with this story is if it starts taking itself in any way seriously. So keep it screwy and stupid, because it simply wouldn't work any other way.

Also, Mokou's scenes are absolutely hillarious.

[Sect]

I do have to agree, though, that the Mokou scene was disturbingly funny.

[capt. h]

Thanks for letting me know. If you waited even a couple updates more, I would have gone serious, and that would've taken all the fun out.


___________________________________________________________



Day 4, 9:50 PM


“Patchouli!” an angry vampire huffed as she passed the mountains of books in the Viole library.

“Patchouli!”

“Don’t shout Remi. This is a library after all.”

“This is my library, and I’ll shout as loud as I want in it.”

“Whatever you wish,” Patchouli grumbled, glancing up from her books. “To what do I owe the interruption.”

“China was attacked. She’s recovering at Eientei.”

“Well, there goes my test subject.”

“Naturally, this can’t go unpunished. Princess Houraisan’s house was also attacked, and initiated a challenge to the Scarlets; collect the heads of those responsible. I accepted.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Patchouli grumbled, turning her attention back to her books.

“We’ll need some new spells.”

Now this had piqued Patchouli’s interest.

“What kind of spells?”

“The kind that remind the world just how dangerous the scarlet devil mansion is.”

“I’ve got just the thing.”

Patchouli picked out a binder from the bottom of the pile she was reading. She opened it, to reveal hundreds of spell cards.

“I only use these on special occasions.”

“Like when the witch comes to borrow books?”

“I don’t want to kill the witch.”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“Anyway,” the librarian continued, “These are the types of spells you want. This one blows up when you apply more than ten pounds of pressure on it, place a bunch of these wherever your opponent’s going to step and you end up with a bloody mess. You have to recite the incantation while holding it first, so it won’t go off accidentally. Now this one,” The library said, taking out a card, “likewise you have to hold it when you want to use it, but instead it blows up five seconds after you say the incantation. It’s good for throwing at your enemies.”

“hm,” Remilia said, picking up the card. “So what is the incantation?”

“The first one is ‘landmine’, and the second is ‘grenade’.”

“Landmine and grenade, huh?” Remi said, as Patchouli turned deathly pale.

“Throw it!”

“Wha?”

“Now!”

Remilia threw the spell card away just before it exploded, singing the vampire slightly.

“T-These seem rather crude for you. And dangerous.”

“That’s the beauty of them,” Patchouli, still shaken, explained in a tremble. “Complete amateurs, such as the fairy maids, can use or even make these cards. Give me ten fairy maids and the night and we could make a thousand of these.”

“You can have a hundred maids, we’ll need ten thousand of these at least.”

“You’re going to have a lot of fun with these, aren’t you?”

“Naturally. But I’m going to need more powerful cards for myself as well,” Remilia commented, passing Patchouli her spell cards. “Try to give Sakuya a boost too, if she lets you.”

“This is going to be a fun night.”

[Marokuu]

Grenade spellcards... this is getting sillier by the minute... and I love it

[Smallfry]

I thought it was your intention from the beginning for it to be absurd. Either way...FRAG OUT!

[Serena]

Personally I was just willing to go along with it, but yeah, it's better kept light   

Besides, Mokou is awesome in this, and Remilia looks set to be a lot of fun too ^^

[Whatthe]

I do love absurd humor.

Also, agreeing that Mokou's scenes were hilariously awesome and awesomely hilarious.