Keep in mind this is intentionally bad, i'm a pretty okay writer. (It helps that i have little knowledge about Touhou)
So wun day raymoo wus goin 2 murisahs hows so dey culd hang owt n stuf, but den da evil bad clown man frum Teh Durk Nite showd up an startid kilen teh 2hus!
"u wuna no how i got dese scars?" he askd surno
"nu" surno sed bak
"2 bad, my fathr wus a drinkr an a feend wun nite he wen crazr den ushal an den he put the nife in my mowf an sed "y so srs"" he sed 2 surno b4 stebin hur!
Raymoo was liek "o nu i mus help al da 2hus!" She floo towords him an shoot danmaku but he doj the danmaku an frow a nife at raymoo's nek but murisah frew herslf in teh way an get stebd!
"nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" raymoo cried out wif murisahs ded body in hur hends. she felt a hend on hur shuldur, an hurd a voys say
"lemme taek car uf hem wel u go halp ur frend"
it wus betmen! he arested jokr an frew him in jale. betmen den heeld murisah wif his betmen gajits.
"fank u" raymoo sed but betmen wus alredy gon
Teh end!
I think i lost a few brain cells writing that.