Time To Atone For Your Sins, MotK

[NekoNekoRex]

I tried to play Healer about twenty more times but then I realized that trying to get down to Minetown at level 1 is the absolutely most aggravating thing I could possibly do in Nethack. Even my pet had enough when it FUCKING SCUICIDED TWELVE TIMES IN A ROW

[pasu]

Lady Enma, I have sinned! Despite being a fan of the games, I've yet to score a no-continues non-easy clear in any touhou game! Well, except PoFV

[Oldmansour]

In my youth, I once believed the Go-Bots cartoon was superior to that of the Transformers.

[qMyon]

Okay, let's give this a shot.

I.....um.....let me see.........okay, how about this? I got distracted playing mahjong when I was supposed to be playing with my clan in MWO.

[Iryan]

How revolting. Clearly, your diet is lacking and in need of some serious improvement. For your penance, you are to make a salad and eat it, posting Before and After photos of the salad (yes, the second photo will clearly be of an empty bowl and not the salad itself.)

Hmmm...

Hmmmmmmm...

If it contains beans and cabbage it counts as a salad, right?


[attach=1]


Riiiiiiiiiiight?


[attach=2]

[Vyrien]

Iryan, what exactly is that? It looks rather appetising yet somehow faintly disturbing.

[FinnKaenbyou]

Fine, write a Ninja Gaiden fanfic.

Less whining, more penancing!

"Hey, Frank. Can I ask you something?"

Frank growled. He hated being shadowed by the new employees. They were walking piles of questions, and he was supposed to answer every little query they had with a smile on his face. His hands clung tighter to his rifle.

"What is it, Mike?"

"Well, I was wondering. Where does that go?" Mike pointed to one side of the open ledge they shared. The drop continued down deeper than either man could see, seemingly into nothingness.

"Not important." Frank checked his magazine on instinct. Full. Good. "What matters is that Hayabusa won't survive it."

Mike raised an eyebrow. "If he's some sort of super-ninja, what makes us think that he'll have trouble with one pit?"

"Dude, have you seen the guys over in 3-1? Apparently these ninjas can't handle little ponds of water."

"I guess." Mike looked away, with that pensive look that inevitably meant another question was coming. Frank braced himself in advance.

"So why is security here tougher than all those other places? I mean, most evil fortresses are well-guarded, but..." Mike pointed to the ledge, and the never-ending supply of bats emerging from the side. "Stuff like that just seems a little unfair. How is anyone supposed to get past that kinda defense?"

Frank felt his blood pressure quadruple. It took all his restraint not to grab the scrawny little kid and let him see just where that pit ended up. He clenched his teeth, feeling a decayed tooth shift beneath the pressure.

"What kind of fucking question is that? We don't want Hayabusa taking back the demon statues, so we're making sure he doesn't get in. That's what security does. It's not about being fair."

Mike pouted. "But I feel like we're being sort of mean to the guy. I mean, he's just one ninja, and we're a never-ending army of better-armed soldiers. Hell, didn't Hayabusa get knocked out by some random chick?"

"That was a cutscene. It doesn't count." Frank spoke bluntly and with a hint of aggression. He shifted the rifle barrel in Mike's direction just in case the newcomer didn't get the point.

"Jeez, alright. Just asking." Mike rolled his eyes, looking in the direction of the entrance before he stopped in place. "Wait, isn't that-"

Frank followed the newcomer's glance. A dot was making its way up the mountain, leaping from platform to platform and slicing through everything in its path.

Hayabusa!

"Alright, kid, remember the plan." Frank fell on one knee, pointing his rifle forward. "When Hayabusa's distracted from taking out the bats, you charge into him and make him fall into the pit."

"Eh? But won't I fall in too?"

"Who's the superior officer here, you or me?" Frank growled. "Just fucking do it!"

Mike gulped, grabbing his backpack for dear life. As the ninja leaped onto the ledge, sword twirling about in a beautiful arc, Mike charged into him with full force. The young soldier had just enough time to see the sword coming down before he exploded in a shower of points.

"Now!"

Frank made the most of the opening, firing at Hayabusa as he landed. The ninja had no chance to dodge, taking the bullet and falling backwards into the pit. A droning medley announced the ninja's passing.

"Yes!" Frank pumped his fist. "I am so getting promoted for that."

[Tengukami]

I did it, it only took a number of tries which I forgot didn't count. That said, it was a pretty cool looking memory game.

Congratulations, Molten! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

My greatest desire is to be punished mercilessly by Eiki-sama.

What a strange sin to confess. So be it - your penance is to draw the Punisher and the Yama having a picnic.

Well, it took a while but I managed to think of a great vegan recipe!

http://gyazo.com/74a011db9a15099674d1d23b6b321b2b

The Macguffin

Ingredients
- A potato
- 100 grams of imagination

Steps
1) Take a potato
2) Put it on the plate
3) Voil?!

Wow. That is one half-assed don't-care "attempt". Clearly, you are a person who wants to go to Hell. Wish granted! Away with you, to the howling depths of the abyss, where demons will tear your soul apart forever.

Yama-sama, you skipped me... :I Stop being so drunk

The Yama apologizes. A good penance idea was raised for you - making an arrange with those two songs. Bear in mind that it need not be mindblowing, Alstroemeria Records-level remixing; just so long as you try.

Congratulations, Dular! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

c-close enough right

Congratulations, kinoko! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Congratulations, Raikaria! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Can't win with this chick unless I find an altar to sacrifice for a decent artifact weapon...

Nonetheless, you did as asked. Congratulations, NekoNekoRex! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

+

=

Spoiler:

Uncanny!

Congratulations, MJP! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Judging by how much I like to tease my friends, I have come to the conclusion I am a slight sadist. What do

For your penance, you must draw a picture of Tenshi punishing you. Bonus points if a soup ladle is involved.

I still burst out laughing every time I read this.

Understandable, but very regrettable. For your penance, you must write an IRC conversation involving at least five members of #s-l wherein the actual Komachi shows up mid-conversation.

This, despite not being exactly what I asked for, amused the Yama enough to qualify. Congratulations! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

I play Touhou for the characters and the dialogue...I actually despise STGs! Please forgive me for this deception Yama-sama.

The sin of deception shall be treated with the virtue of honesty! For your penance, you are to make an honest attempt of a Lunatic pacifist run of UFO, going as far as you can without continues, and then upload your replay here.

It's becoming a habit to use the 10 hour loop of BrodyQuest x I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts as background working music.

This isn't a sin so much as a clear sign of something malfunctioning. You are in need of immediate medical attention.

OK, here's a real sin. Fuck nun-bludgeoning,

Spoiler:

I actually made one of these things.

Yeah, that's right. Feel that edge.

Oh, no. Not you, JT?! Very well - for your penance, you must compose, record, and upload a song using voice and acoustic guitar with lyrics that fawns over Mugi.

I think my sin is the opposite; I don't love enough to have a list full of animated ladies! doushio

Ah, the sin of being a casual. For your penance, you must watch both episodes of Eiken and write a review not exceeding 400 words that employs the words "nipple-bleedingly" at some point.

Congratulations, Beats! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Congratulations, Purvis! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Lady Enma, I have sinned! Despite being a fan of the games, I've yet to score a no-continues non-easy clear in any touhou game! Well, except PoFV

Wow, not even Imperishable Night - but you could with PoFV? How curious. For your penance, you must then attempt IN Normal, using Border Team, and upload the replay here.

In my youth, I once believed the Go-Bots cartoon was superior to that of the Transformers.

A hipster at such a tender age, eh? Let's see if you can identify your own kind. This website takes photos of people walking through Williamsburg, New York, one of the glowing meccas of hipsterdom. For your penance, you must find a photo of someone you consider a hipster, and explain what makes them one.

Okay, let's give this a shot.

I.....um.....let me see.........okay, how about this? I got distracted playing mahjong when I was supposed to be playing with my clan in MWO.

Ah, the sin of distraction. For your penance, you must play Concentration on Hard mode, and post results when you win more than $10,000.

That is indeed a salad! Congratulations, Iryan! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Spoiler:

As always, this exceeded my expectations.

Congratulations, Rou! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

[trancehime]

forgive me judge, for i have sinned

my soul has been burned by the foul flame of failure, tainted by the sordid stench of sorrow

may my penance for such transgressions be gradual; for i have fallen into incredibly tough times, and cannot make time to instantly perform my rites within such timely fashion.

[Error]

I have questions, but not confessions. or do i
Does the definition of sin vary?
If a person lives an unsavory lifestyle because they don't know of any others, will they be punished?
If a person lives an unsavory lifestyle because they preferred it over others, will they be punished?

[JT]

Oh, no. Not you, JT?! Very well - for your penance, you must compose, record, and upload a song using voice and acoustic guitar with lyrics that fawns over Mugi.

OH, GOD DAMN YOU! None of you better use this as blackmail material when it's finished.

[qMyon]

Okay, that was tough. Honestly though, I had more trouble getting all the prizes to add up to more than 10 000 and then solving the riddle at the end.
[attach=1]
[attach=2]

[Tengukami]

forgive me judge, for i have sinned

my soul has been burned by the foul flame of failure, tainted by the sordid stench of sorrow

may my penance for such transgressions be gradual; for i have fallen into incredibly tough times, and cannot make time to instantly perform my rites within such timely fashion.

The Yama understands - this mundane world unfortunately has its own rites and rituals which much be attended, too. But as failure and sorrow seem to go hand-in-hand, we shall confront both at once: for your penance, you will draw for us a figurative representation of the last time you were truly happy. You don't have to explain for us what it is, if it's something very personal, but it should convey happiness and success.

I have questions, but not confessions. or do i
Does the definition of sin vary?
If a person lives an unsavory lifestyle because they don't know of any others, will they be punished?
If a person lives an unsavory lifestyle because they preferred it over others, will they be punished?

The Yama enjoys philosowank as much as the next person, but let's not overthink this - as stated in the OP, this is more or less about something you said or did that made you feel guilt or shame; something that you believe is a personal sin.

OH, GOD DAMN YOU! None of you better use this as blackmail material when it's finished.

How could you possibly be blackmailed for singing an originally composed song of love and devotion for a moe anime character? Surely this should be a point of great pride!

:justasplanned:

Okay, that was tough. Honestly though, I had more trouble getting all the prizes to add up to more than 10 000 and then solving the riddle at the end.

Congratulations, Myon! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

[NekoNekoRex]

I have more sin  :ohdear:
I have a green-eyed jealousy for JT and his incredible aptitude for humor. Also, he can draw.

[fondue]

i ate a four-leafed clover once
:c

[Aba Matindesu!]

Oh, Miss Enma, your kindness is too much! For I have sinned. Yet. Again. "OTL

I swore in the presence of my crush's family. WHAT DO.

[I have no name]

I inadvertently caused someone to blow up (complete with a huge bevy of insults directed at me) and leave a Skype group  :ohdear:
At least I can take solace in knowing that I recognized my mistake and tried to correct it and never resorted to personal attacks.

[JT]

How could you possibly be blackmailed for singing an originally composed song of love and devotion for a moe anime character? Surely this should be a point of great pride!

:justasplanned:

OK, I decided to bend the Yama's request a bit and do a mostly improvised parody of a certain well-known pop song instead. It's not originally composed or acoustic, but hopefully this will cut the Yama's mustard regardless.

Lyrics:

Spoiler:

Okay. Let's get this over with.
Alright, I'm ready.
I WAS BORN READY! LET'S DO THIS!
MUGI! YEARH

Eating some cake
I don't know what
I'm to say I don't speak anime
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
Nothing happens in this show anyway
Cake on me, cake me on
Moogy-chon
In the Keionbu

Agh
How does he do that

This is...
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I hate all of you.

Oh the things that you say
Is it life or
Anime my worries away
What the fuck's the deal with
your eyebrows
You're shying away
If you were a dude I'd be gay

Hey Mugi, K me on
Moogy-chon
In the KeionBUUUUUUUUUUUUGHRH
UGH
ARHGBS

I'll be gone
In a DAAAAAAAAAAYYDSGJBS

Alright, I'm done.
Fuck you.

[Yatakarasu]

Me: "Oh, look free time!'
2 hours later
Well, that was fun.

FLAN! Why your song no have consistent tempo (or at the very least sound consistent)?!

[Jana]

Ah, the sin of being a casual. For your penance, you must watch both episodes of Eiken and write a review not exceeding 400 words that employs the words "nipple-bleedingly" at some point.

I never thought I'd say this, but it's a good thing I've already watched both episodes of Eiken!

A breast anime for breast fetishist of the most extreme kind, Eiken is an anime OVA series about a schoolboy and the breasts he touches. These walking breasts are attached to girls who might otherwise be likable anime caricatures of the usual personality types, including the shy girl, the smart girl, and the girl who'll kick your ass. The main schoolboy himself, named Densuke, is also a usual loser protagonist who can't seem to help being thrown into "wacky" situations that involve breasts and touching breasts and being crushed by breasts.

After a breast-touch of particularly bad fortune involving his shy, best-student-in-the-school crush, Densuke is drafted into the infamous Eiken club by the tomboy breasts in order to compete in a competition between all the other school clubs. The competition itself is filled with breasts and innuendo of the most vile sort, from eating chocolate bananas in a pool of perverted eels, bungee-jumping at nipple-bleedingly high speeds, to the memetic yogurt slide, complete with yogurt-splattered breasts. Of course, in the end, Densuke gets the breasts he's been after the whole time in a completely non-explicit way.

I have never seen an anime explore the concept of breasts in such a way. You might be better off watching an actual hentai film than this fanservice breast-fest. If you've ever complained about anime being misogynistic with its emphasis on the breasts of young women, or for any other reason, you should stay far and away from Eiken.

245 words, 15 breast(s), 1 nipple-bleedingly, 2 Vietnam-style flashbacks.

OK, I decided to bend the Yama's request a bit and do a mostly improvised parody of a certain well-known pop song instead. It's not originally composed or acoustic, but hopefully this will cut the Yama's mustard regardless.

I feel pride well within me and I do not know why.

[AnonymousPondScum]

Wait, how the Hell were there only FIFTEEN bre---

You know what? On second thought, I don't wanna know. :getdown:

[Fetch()tirade]

You must upload this to your YT channel so your glorious mastery of the lyrical arts may be known throughout the world.

[Menorah Jams, Pham]

Spoiler:

Uncanny!

Congratulations, MJP! You have successfully repented for your sin, and have been absolved. Go forth now, with a pure heart, into Paradise.

Except now I feel like a bad religio-Jew despite living the cultura-Jew lifestyle.  Plus there's no Paradise either in Judaism or an afterli-

* Meiling's Jumpspeed Plotter is shot

[HakureiSM]

OK, I decided to bend the Yama's request a bit and do a mostly improvised parody of a certain well-known pop song instead. It's not originally composed or acoustic, but hopefully this will cut the Yama's mustard regardless.

My fucking god if I were gay JT would be the stuff of wet dreams

Fuckit JT is already the stuff of wet dreams, no homo

[LadyScarlet]

Alright, here's my short fanfic:

Tewi hugged Aya. The tengu was just too adorable to resist. Seeing this as an opportunity for new feedback on the newspaper, Aya took a picture of Tewi's breasts.
"Flat chest tries to molest Aya?!" read the headline. The reaction was just as lukewarm as ever, except moon rabbits invaded Aya's house shortly afterwards out of rage. The end.

I have a new sin: I left my math homework at school.

[nintendonut888]

You are indeed. You know, Jack Black is said to have said that "YOLO is 'carpe diem' for stupid people." The phrase "carpe diem" first gained pop culture attention in the movie Dead Poet's Society, starring Robin Williams. While that was a great role and a great movie, he also played the eponymous main character of one of the worst movies ever made, Patch Adams. Your penance is to compose a 10-stanza kenning wherein Patch Adams tries to cheer up Gengetsu on her deathbed.

Oh wait I was actually supposed to do this?

Uhm...not to be all defiant miss Yama-dude, sir, lady, but I don't know anything about this Patch Adams. So I can't repent in this manner, sorry. :[

[Ikari]

OK, I decided to bend the Yama's request a bit and do a mostly improvised parody of a certain well-known pop song instead. It's not originally composed or acoustic, but hopefully this will cut the Yama's mustard regardless.

This is absolutely beautiful. Seriously, you go beyond heaven with that.

[Jam-Kiske]

OK, here's a real sin. Fuck nun-bludgeoning,

Spoiler:

I actually made one of these things.

Yeah, that's right. Feel that edge.

Oh I made one of those too. It has 2 Homestuck characters in it.
I feel like that's enough of a sin.

Also JT you're godlike.

[HakureiSM]

Okay let's do this shit


This is stupid.



This is fucking stupid.



This was plain stupid. Ammy, listen: you're stupid. And I hate you.

[Minch]

I consider my older Step-Brother as an enemy. Let's see if I can think of five good qualities from him.
- He is brutally honest.
- He trusts his intuition instead of other's opinion.
- He has great luck in finding sales.
- He is rather on time in returning favors and payment when it is due.
- Even though his sense of humor is questionable, he can be pretty funny.

God damn that was hard. There you go, oh great Yama of Paradise. Five great qualties of one of my enemies.