The pre-Keine portion seems a bit shabby. First of all, you drop a few point items (?), and seem to be rather unsure of the ASL-style. I'm not 100% sure how to copy him, but I think you need some more experimenting with this part. Watch ASL alongside your replay, and think what you did differently.
The first large fairies with familiars can be shot totally unfocused. And you should PoC faster after you kill the last one. You dropped some point-items.
How ASL deals with those fairies that shoot 6 familiars:
Stay on one side, wait for fairies to shoot their familiars
Move to the other side, wait for the right moment when the bullets themselves spawn where the familiars traveled
Time when you kill one of the fairies so that some of the familiars turn the bullets where your current position was into time orbs
Wait until the other fairies release their second round of familiars, then kill those
Try not to kill one of those fairies if there are no familiars on the screen.
In the beginning, when 4 fairies with familiars circling them appear, try to kill the 2nd one late, and the 3rd one asap, so that you get a higher bpv for more items. On the final familiar-circling fairy, whittle down its HP to as low as possible, and when the first wave of enemies that come out from both sides start shooting. Then, kill the enemies on the right side, so that you get power items to reach max power with a bunch of star items on the screen for more points.
If you can handle the supergraze of Mokou's first noncard, you probably should not end it right away.
You can circle around her just fine, but you're so far from the bullets that you're not really getting much graze out of it at all. Stay as close to one of the streams of bullets as you possibly can.
Also, be careful when you switch from Reimu to Yukari. At some parts, especially Flaw of Forgiving Shrine, your gauge goes above -80%, which means that it'll take a bit of time to get it back to that number, which means less point items for you.
You could try learning Honest Man's Death supergrazing. I have no idea how it's done, but you could ask Nereid or Random here. Probably something with timed taps, since the red shit is aimed at you and the laser shit is timed. Never gave a fuck about the tentacle shit, I don't know if it does something when supergrazing.
It's timed taps. The best place to do it is around the top part of 方 under Mokou, between the small slash and the horizontal line. Tentacles contribute to graze if you're going that close.
Supergrazing the second wave of Possessed by Phoenix wouldn't probably be a bad idea.
If you're going to be focused when you do it, then by all means do it. Stay at the bottom of the screen, then slowly tap up to get a shitton of graze and time orbs for score. I've heard of people doing it by tapping up with the music, but I always get hit or move too much when I do it :V
And what's left is the obvious stuff: Learn how to handle every attack and spell card, be confident with supergrazing, and pick up point items only at the PoC.