Author Topic: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First  (Read 530996 times)

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First
« on: February 15, 2010, 10:50:36 AM »
This post reserved for more sensible OP text later. I'm so insane right now it's not even funny :V

Welcome, dear Writers, to the Weekly Touhou Shorts Writing Challenge.

Here you shall take up your pens and quills,
your ink bottles and keyboards,
and compete with each other in a battle of words.

Every week, a short story idea will be presented here by one of you.
If you want to be that chosen one, you simply need to send your ideas to the master of this challenge, Ruro.
She will then decide which idea shall become this week's challenge.

Once a theme has been decided and posted, anyone is free to reply to it with their own short story.

Once the week ends, winners will be chosen by arbitrary standards a complex system of evaluation and judgement.
Let it be known that the winners shall receive prizes for their victory.
They will be the shiny things known as SM, the right to call yourself a Speshul Membuh.

So with this, let the Challenge begin.
Write with all you've got and most of all:
Have Fun!

Rules:
- Anyone is allowed to submit a response to a story prompt that shall be posted every week in this thread.
- Only one entry per person; however, you may submit more than one story and pick one or the other to be judged.
- Comments from observers are allowed and encouraged.
- I am open to receiving prompt suggestions, and people who send me suggestions will not be disqualified from the contest. (This is a tentative rule, since we'll see how this turns out. But eh, this should run on an honor system. Write something new every time.)
- You have a week to complete a challenge and submit it. In practice, this means "right up until the next challenge is posted".
- Winners get Speshul Membuh rank for a week. However, they will lose it after that week if they don't win the next contest. No getting complacent here, people!

The weekly deadline is Sunday midnight!

Judges are: Chaore, Rou, and Sakana, the Librarians. If any of them would like to post a fic, they are free to do so, but they won't be able to judge for that week. I'll step in and take any of their slots if/when that happens. And speaking of, I'm auto-DQ'd from winning at all, so you don't have to worry about me. This is for the rest of you wonderful writers, after all :3

I need something better for this >_>
<Sakana> Your will shall be done. ^^
Thanks, Sakana~



EDIT: From our loyal slave follower Sect comes this handy list of challenges. Thanks a lot~

Quote from: Sect
Contest 1: Nigerian Spam Email

?lice Bl?ckb?r[Z]
Sakura Rurouni
Iced Fairy *Winner*
Roukanken
Forte Blackadder

Contest 2: Doctor

Hideki
Roukanken
Forte Blackadder
Iced Fairy *Winner*
Amaterasu
Choja
Sakura Rurouni

Contest 3: Magical Girl

Forte Blackadder
Erebus *Winner*
Roukanken
Iced Fairy
homerun-chan
Sakura Rurouni

Contest 4: "Everything You Ever"

Esifex
Iced Fairy
Roukanken *Winner*
Choja

Contest 4.5: Spellcard Haiku

homerun-chan
Suikama
Sen
Iced Fairy
Kilgamayan
Polaris *Winner*
Roukanken

Contest 5: Contemporary

Amaterasu
Roukanken
Erebus
Odda C. *Winner*

Contest 6: Festival

Iced Fairy *Winner*
theshim
Roukanken

Contest 7: Animal Youkai

Iced Fairy
Roukanken *Winner*
homerun-chan

Contest 8: Self Insert

Iced Fairy
Purvis *Winner*
Roukanken
Erebus
Nobu
Esifex *Winner*

Contest 9: Mortality

Purvis *Wins Again*
Iced *Winner*
Sriggle

Contest 10: Sports

Purvis *Damn it stop winning*
Solf J. Undertaker
Iced Fairy
Erebus *Winner*

Contest 11: Mecha

Iced Fairy *Um... Winner?*

Contest 12: The Challenge That Should Have Never Been

Purvis *No seriously he's the winner for this one you don't want to read the others*
Roukanken *Loser*
Sakana *Loser*
Sriggle *Loser*
Erebus *Loser*
Santora Claws *Loser*
Amaterasu *Loser*
Ayuka *The Most Losiest Of Them All (Which somehow means Winner)*

Contest 13: Wild West

Amaterasu *Winner*
Iced Fairy
Esifex
Roukanken
rdj
Purvis *Actually didn't win this one, oddly enough*
Ayuka

Contest 14: Space

Esifex *Disqualified for plagarising Purvis*
Roukanken *Winner*
Azaa
Ayuka

Contest 15: School

Iced Fairy
Santora Claws
Roukanken
Sana
Erebus *Winner*

Contest 16: Spies

VIVI
Yagosteinro_Eirin
Santora Claws
Chibi-Reaper
Ryuu
Roukanken
Iced Fairy *Winner*
Luna Moth Child
Kirin

Contest 17: Essays

Chibi-Reaper
Amaterasu *Winner*
Santora Claws
Roukanken
Erebus
Team Brofist Ryuu and Esifex
nolrai2

Contest 18: Halloween

Santora Claws
Iced Fairy *Winner*

Contest 19: Christmas

VIVI en espa?ol! *Winner*
Santora Claws
Iced Fairy

Contest 20: Valentine's Day

MaxKnight
Sect
Iced Fairy *Winner*
Santora Claws
Ryuu
Erebus
Purvis *Won again after a long leave of absence but then disqualified due to death by bukkit*

Contest 21: Noir

MaxKnight
capt. h
Roukanken
Sect *Winner*
Iced Fairy
Kips
Ryuu

Contest 21.3: Mustaches

Santora Claws *Dinner*

Contest 22: Shakespeare

Roukanken*Winner*
SMS
Faithless Priest of Void

Contest 23: Dreams

Andrew
Squidtentacle
Himiko
Santora Claws
Iced Fairy
Faithless Priest of Void
Roukanken
Esifex
Guy You Met Online
capt. h
Sleepy/Humid
Donut*Winner*
Suikama
Conqueror
Affinity

Contest 24: Post-Apocalyptic Touhou

Andrew
T-A-C
Roukanken
Santora Claws
Iced Fairy *Winner*
Himiko
Azu-nyan
Guy You Met Online
Faithless Priest of Void
Squidtentacle

Contest 24.3: Esi's Challenge!: A Day in the Life of...

Faithless Priest of Void *Winner*
The Shim
Santora Claws
FallenAngel
Azu-nyan

Contest 24.7: Esi's Challenge!: Motivation to the Magic

Kips
Teruyo
Esifex *Disqualified due to being the person judging*

Contest 25: Lord of Maidens Plot Writing

Roukanken
Faithless Priest of Void *Winner*

Contest 26: Daily Life

Santora Claws
Spaztique
Roukanken
Iced Fairy *Winner*
Faithless Priest of Void

Contest 27: Myth

Santora Claws
Faithless Priest of Void
Iced Fairy *Winner*

Contest 28: Job Swap

Tai
VIVI
Santora Claws

Contest 28.5: Esi's Challenge!: The Feral Child

capt. h
Roukanken

Contest 29: Cripes, not again... Facebook Spam

Roukanken
nolrai2
capt. h
Scrittore
Santora Claws
Guy You Met Online
Conqueror *Winner*

Contest 30: Food

T-A-C
Unspoken Dyslexic
Sect
Ii Ii
capt. h
Kerigis *Winner*

Contest 31: Spice and Wolf Tengu
Gappy
capt. h
Sect *Winner*

Contest 32: Crossovers

capt. h
Zent
Tonomi *Winner*
Esifex

Contest 33: Origin Stories *Judging Ongoing*
=WARNING! WARNING! AN ICED FAIRY CHALLENGE APPROACHES!=

Zurocha
Guy You Met Online
Santora Claws
Squidtentacle
Himiko
triangles *Winner oh wait she fell over nevermind*
Iced Fairy *Extra Stage Boss*
capt. h
Yog-Sothoth
Nat Tea
Sect

Contest 34 : And that's the News from Lake Suwa

Contest 35 : Endings





This week's challenge exists because sometimes you just have this awesome idea at 2:40 AM that you just have to write.

[02:48] <Dragoshi> Ruro: That idea you mentioned earlier ago sounds glorious. du eet
[02:48] <Dragoshi> :V
[02:49] <Sakura-Rurouni> Touhou Nigerian Spam Email fanfiction?
[02:49] <Dragoshi> yes
[02:49] <Sakura-Rurouni> =D
[02:49] <Sakura-Rurouni> I already have a scenario in mind :3
[02:49] <LadyIlinaAty> ...
[02:49] <Dragoshi> yay
[02:49] <LadyIlinaAty> Touhou Nigerian Spam Email fanfiction, what.
[02:49] * Dragoshi ^5s Ruro
[02:49] <LadyIlinaAty> I don't even know anymore.
[02:49] <ItsPurvisHasLeftThisTimestream> *I want this to happen*
[02:51] <bofh> 04:56 < LadyIlinaAty> Touhou Nigerian Spam Email fanfiction, what.
[02:51] <bofh> Help I also have a scenario in mind
[02:51] <bofh> Let us write and then compare, Ruro!
[02:51] <Sakura-Rurouni> :D
[02:52] <Sakura-Rurouni> Right now?
[02:52] <bofh> Sure, why not?
[02:52] * Sakura-Rurouni opens up a new OpenOffice document
[02:52] <Sakura-Rurouni> Let's go!

February 15, 2010: Touhou Nigerian Spam Email fanfiction
The only requirement is that it contain the traditional Nigerian scam email format that we all know and love. Examples can be found here. Have fun!

First entries should be right below!

?lice Bl?ckb?rn

  • The real Alice Blackbarn!
  • *
  • "OH DESIRE"
Re: Weekly Short Writing Challenge Thread
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2010, 10:55:37 AM »
My (fairly mediocre) attempt at a 419-spam-scam fanfic (warning: CAPS LOCK):
DEAR FELLOW RESIDENT OF GENSOKYO,

I AM EMAILING YOU AS A RESULT OF A PROPOSAL THAT HAS SUDDENLY COME UP DUE TO RECENT OCCURENCES IN YOUKAI MOUNTAIN. I AM SUWAKO J. MORIYA, GODDESS AND LEGAL COUNSEL FOR ONE SANAE KOTIYA AND ONE KANAKO YASAKA, WHO ARE NORMALLY THE SHRINE MAIDEN AND THE GODDESS OF THE SHRINE ON YOUKAI MOUNTAIN, RESPECTIVELY. DUE TO AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT WITH A NUCLEAR-POWERED CROW, SOME GRILLED CHEESE AND A PLASTIC MODEL OF COLONEL SANDERS THAT YUKARI INAPPROPRIATELY GAPPED IN AT THE WRONG TIME, SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TEMPORARILY OUT OF COMMISION AT THE SHRINE AND HAVE GIVEN ME FULL CONTROL OVER IT.

I AM CONTACTING YOU AS A RESULT OF THIS BECAUSE AROUND THE SAME TIME YUKARI ACCIDENTALLY MANAGED TO GAP IN SEVERAL BILLION OF THESE ESOTERIC ITEMS KNOWN AS "CURRENCY" AT THE SAME TIME. HOWEVER, DUE TO THE COLONEL AND THE CHEESE EXPLOSION, THIS WAS LEFT UNNOTICED BY EVERYONE ELSE (EXCEPT POSSIBLY YUKARI. WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT PERSON KNOWS.). AT THE PRESENT MOMENT, HOWEVER, I HAVE OTHER DUTIES TO DO THAT WILL PREVENT ME FROM GETTING THE MONEY DIRECTLY TO YOU. HOWEVER, IT IS STORED IN A SAFE LOCATION IN THE FOREST OF MAGIC, THE EXACT LOCATION OF WHICH NOBODY BUT MYSELF IS CURRENTLY AWARE OF. (AGAIN, EXCEPT FOR YUKARI. WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT PERSON KNOWS.)

WHAT I SEEK FROM YOU IS THE ASSISTANCE IN BOTH TRANSPORTATION OF THIS "CURRENCY" AS WELL AS CONVERSION OF IT TO A VALUABLE FORMAT (LET'S FACE IT, UNLESS YOU'RE REIMU, MONEY IS KIND OF WORTHLESS IN THIS PLACE). FOR YOUR COOPERATION, YOU WILL BE GRANTED (3) THREE MIRACLES OF YOUR CHOOSING, SUBJECT TO MINOR CONSTRAINTS. HOWEVER, I AM EXTREMELY GENEROUS, AND IN GENERAL WILL HAVE NO QUALMS ABOUT ACCEPTING YOUR WISH. ALL I ASK IS YOUR TIME AND A MINIMUM OF TWO OF YOUR MOST POWERFUL SPELLCARDS THAT COULD BE BEST USED IN SOME WAY TO MAKE THIS "CURRENCY" USEFUL.

AFTER MANY HOURS OF CONTEMPLATION I HAVE DEEMED YOU THE PERSON MOST WORTHY OF RECIEVING THESE REWARDS. PLEASE KINDLY RESPOND TO THIS MAIL PROMPTLY SO WE MAY COMMENCE WORK ON THIS PLAN AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE. THE MORIYA SHRINE WILL ETERNALLY BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR COOPERATION IN THESE MATTERS.

THANKS,
SUWAKO J. MORIYA

P.S. PLEASE ATTACH THE LOCATION OF ANY PLACES WHERE YOU LIVE AT AS WELL AS YOUR SCHEDULE FOR THE NEXT WEEK TO THIS MAIL. THANKS.
"Oh, great. Another game where I get screwed by Kilga." ~ Carthrat

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Short Writing Challenge Thread
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2010, 10:57:46 AM »
Wheeeeeeee scenario



Kana Anaberal was the most bored person in the Anaberal Manor. A worthy accomplishment, for someone who wasn't even a person in the first place. She was a poltergeist.

After the events of PoDD, Kana had made Yumemi stick to her word, so she was no longer stuck with no one to haunt in the deserted manor. But as it turned out, being a wandering spirit was a lousy day-to-day existence, so she ended up hanging out with Reimu in the Hakurei Shrine. When that didn't work out either, she returned to Yumemi, where she was handed the chance of her life. Yumemi was going back to her world with Chiyuri, Rikako, Kotohime, Ellen, and Sokrates-- if it would please you, would you like to come along?

Of course, Yumemi was not motivated by some sort of desire to be nice. If the events of the tournament had taught the scientist anything, it was that neither she nor Chiyuri could not use true magic on their own, nor could they contain it and bring it back to their world. So they needed a subject, preferably willing, to come back to their world with them. Kana knew this, but she didn't mind. In exchange for a more interesting group of people to haunt, she signed the deal and returned with them.

She should have known it would have come with a catch.

The first problem was Rikako. She had neglected her magic in favor of science for so long that when she wanted to use it, she had lost the connection to it. Her magic was likely still within her; however, the connection to it had become atrophied in her mind. Kotohime did not have much magical ability in the first place, and what she had had, she had forgotten in favor of law enforcement. Ellen's form of magic was even stranger; it was all passive, manifesting itself only when someone around her was in danger. She held the 'Transistor' ability, meaning that no one around her could die. Useful, but not flashy enough to be unequivocally considered magic.

As for Kana: when crossing the border, none of them had taken into context its nature. Kana was the only one of the group who was a nonhuman; none of the others were affected when they'd crossed the border. She had been stripped of all her magical powers when she came to Yumemi's world, left with only a minimal amount of energy to stay 'alive'-- as well as a ghost could, in any case. She had just enough energy to rustle grass. However, inside her manor was another story; she could at least have a decent time, since the house was not alive, and so was not stripped of its latent magical energy when she came over.

Yumemi was disappointed, to say the least. All of her test subjects were denied the power of magic in one way or another, so she could not prove its existence. Still, she was not one to laze around, and she was not about to abandon them, either. They were valuable evidence. And over time, she did start to develop relationships with them, beyond those of a researcher and her mice. Rikako became Yumemi's colleague, working mostly with machines. Kotohime became a police officer, patrolling the city for crime to punish. Ellen became the housekeeper, along with her cat Sokrates. Chiyuri stayed on as Yumemi's assistant.

This left Kana with energy on her hands with nothing to do, confined to the Manor all day long. Japan's progress into the 21st Century had been kind to her; when she had come to Yumemi's world in the late 90's, she had immediately acquired a persocom and gotten internet.

And now, years later, subsisting on a diet of visual novels and imageboards, Kana lay around in the attic, finishing up a match of Melty Blood with someone overseas in Canada. As usual, she had nothing to do. She had just enough energy to muster up a feeble physical edge at the tips of her fingers, but she couldn't do much apart from type on keyboards. There was literally nothing to do, just as she didn't have anything to do for the past few decades...

So when the email arrived, Kana did not spare a second thought. Sure, it was a bit crazy, but really, what did a girl have to do to get some excitement around here?

-----

Three days later...

?Coffee is a marvelous drink. You really should try it.?

?Ugh, thanks, but no thanks. How can something that smells so good taste so bad??

Yumemi and Chiyuri were doing their early morning routine of arguing over tea and coffee. Yumemi preferred strawberry or raspberry tea; Chiyuri was a caffeine addict who had once taken hostages in Columbia in exchange for delicious coffee beans.

?It's 6:30,? Chiyuri noted. ?I'll go get the car started.?

?Nah, I'll take care of it,? Yumemi replied. She waved off her assistant's offer. ?Mind getting my water bottle out of the freezer, though? I'm teaching a class on advanced microbiology this semester, and you know how wordy that gets me.?

?Sure,? Chiyuri agreed, and Yumemi left the Anaberal Manor to go outside and start up the car.

Then she spied the short blue-haired girl with an umbrella waiting outside, in a horse-drawn chariot, in front of the car. She had various suitcases next to her. She was of regal bearing, despite her height, dressed in a pale pink shirt, and white slacks.

She also had bat wings.

Yumemi blinked.

?I should have drunk the coffee,? she muttered as she shuffled back inside.

She waited for a while, then opened the door again. The girl was still standing there. She closed the door again and waited for a while longer, then opened it again. Still no change.

The girl noted this, and walked towards her.

?I am Remilia Scarlet. I am honored to be invited to stay at your wonderful home.?

Yumemi nodded slowly, then walked back inside and closed the door behind her.

?What's going on? Did I drink too much strawberry vodka last night?? she asked as Kana floated down through the floorboards.

?Can I talk to you, Yumemi-san?? Kana asked.

?I can't talk right now,? Yumemi replied. ?I have some kinda weird guest--?

?Remilia Scarlet--? Kana cut her off.

?How did you--?  Yumemi began, her eyes narrowing. ?What did you do, Kana??

?Well,? Kana began, ?when I was online three nights ago, an interesting email came up... it read:

-----

?I AM A CITIZEN OF GENSOKYO ZAIRE, SISTER OF THE LATE FORMER LADY OF SCARLET PRESIDENT OF ZAIRE, FLANDRE SCARLET) SINCE THE DEATH OF MY SISTER SOME YEARS AGO I HAVE BEEN RESIDING IN NIGERIA ON TEMPORARY POLITICAL ASYLUM. ON MY ARRIVAL IN NIGERIA AFTER MY LATE SISTER'S BURIAL, I CAME INTO NIGERIA WITH A DIPLOMATIC PACKAGED CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE SUM $31,540,000.00 (THIRTY ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED AND FORTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) WHICH I GOT FROM PART OF THE MONEY MY LATE SISTER MADE THROUGH DIAMONDS SALES WHEN SHE WAS LADY OF SCARLET THE PRESIDENT OF ZAIRE FOR ABOUT 32 YEARS.

"PRECISELY, SINCE MY ARRIVAL WITH THE DIPLOMATIC PACKAGED CONSIGNMENT IT HAS BEEN SAFELY KEPT WITH A SECURITY COMPANY HERE IN NIGERIA MOREOVER,I DO NOT WANT TO INVEST THIS MONEY IN ANY PART OF AFRICA DUE TO THE CONSTANT POLITICAL INSTABILITY IN GENSOKYO AFRICA.MY PLAN IS TO USE THIS MONEY TO INVEST IN A PROFITABLE BUSINESS IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD APART FROM GENSOKYO AFRICA, ALSO TO PURCHASE A RESIDENTIAL ACCOMMODATION. I WILL COME OVER AND SETTLE THERE WITH MY FAMILY.

"HENCE,I AM SOLICITING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AS MY FOREIGNPARTNER TO RECEIVE THIS MONEY ON MY BEHALF ON ARRIVAL ABROAD AND TO KEEP IT IN A SAFE PLACE PENDING MY ARRIVAL TO JOIN YOU UP. UPON THE RECEIPT OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO MY PROPOSAL, I CAN IMMEDIATELY ARRANGE FOR THE MONEY TO LEAVE NIGERIA IN YOUR FAVOUR (i.e. AS THE BENEFICIARY) FOR ONWARD MOVEMENT TO WHERE I HAVE CONNECTION IN ASIA OR NOTHERN AMERICA WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF A SECURITY COMPANY , THEN YOU WILL ASSIST ME TO RECEIVE IT OVER THERE AS MY FOREIGN PARTNER.

"I SHALL INFORM YOU WITH NEXT LINE OF ACTION AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE. YOUR URGENT REPONSE THROUGH MY E-MAIL SHALL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED. YOU CAN ALSO REACH ME ON MY OTHER MAILBOX AT..."

?Hmm.? Koakuma, the SDM's best scribe tapped her pen against her chin. ?Is this really how letters are written in the other world, Patchouli-sama??

?All my sources tell me that's exactly the format,? Patchouli replied honestly.

?Well, then,? she said, handing the completed letter to Patchouli, who handed it to the maid. ?Type this up and send it with the Kappa, Sakuya-san. If Remilia really wants to wander around the other world, then if nothing else I can at least try to keep her comfortable.?

?At once,? Sakuya said, bowing and disappearing from sight.

-----

?Oh, Sakuya-san. Nice to see you.?

?You work here, Sanae??

?Yes. Nitori finds me useful around the office for tech support. Anyway, what do you need??

?Can you type this letter up for me and send it to all the email addresses you know??

?Uh... Sakuya, I don't think this is what... Uh...?

?Hm? What is it??

?Oh... never mind... it's just a paycheck, just a paycheck... No one who receives it will actually believe it, anyway...?

-----

?She has over Thirty-one million U.S.D!? Kana said with glee. ?And she wants to start a business! Imagine if she pumps that money into my Manor! I could become rich! Then I can buy all the VNs I want!?

?So why didn't you invite her to YOUR place!?? Yumemi hissed.

?This IS my place!? Kana shot back.

?Kana, we've got no guarantee she'll make a deal with us! And why should I help you, anyway?!?

?I'll give you half the take,? Kana said flatly. ?Even if she gives us a third of the money, that would still net you Five. Million. Dollars.?

?Say no more.? Dollar signs lit up in Yumemi's eyes. She spat in her hand and shook Kana's hand as best as she could. ?Done!?

♛ Apher-Forte

  • Am I to go home...or shall I stay alone?
  • *
  • Forever lost at sea, a distant bell rings for me
    • Himitsu's NSFW Blog ~ contains NSFW material
Re: Weekly Short Writing Challenge Thread
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2010, 11:36:42 AM »
I lol'd quite hard.

here's to the best scientist ever will have in or outside of Gensokyo, equivalent of having the brain of a certain sputlzy 2 headed galaxy president.
  <-- my artwork thread, click me!
[ Find my cosplay photos here. ] OMG I HAVE TUMBLR FOLLOW PLZX Will You Remember Me... ?

IcedFairy

Re: Weekly Short Writing Challenge Thread
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2010, 09:55:38 PM »
I like this plan!  I am excited to be a part of it!

My only worry is that the scam I'm working with might not be Nigerian in origin.  However it was too great to pass up.

-----

The young man hurried as fast as he could down the darkened path, the heavy backpack he was carrying slowing him down.

It was pure foolishness to be out here this late at night, but the opportunity was too good to pass up!  He was so lucky to have gotten the letter at his house.  He pulled out the printed note and looked it over once again, marveling at his good fortune.

"HELLO,

I AM A YOUKAI IN THE FOREST WITH BIG PROPOSITION FOR YOU.  ON A TRIP TO HUMAN VILLAGE I BOUGHT A LOTTERY TICKET AS A SUVINEER OF MY JOURNEY.  I THEN RETURNED TO MY HOME, IN THE FOREST.

RECENTLY I HEARD FROM MY FAMILY IN THE HUMAN VILLAGE THAT MY LOTTO TICKET WAS THE LUCKY WINNER FOR 20,000,000 YEN.  I TRIED TO COLLECT PRIZE, BUT THIS PRIZE REQUIRES TO BE COLLECTED IN PERSON AND BY HUMANS ONLY.  AS I AM A YOUKAI IN THE FOREST I AM PREVENTED FROM COLLECTING.

I NEED A HUMAN I CAN TRUST TO COLLECT THE PRIZE MONEY.  MY SOURCES TELL ME YOU ARE A VERY HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY INDIVIDUAL, SO I HAVE SENT YOU THIS LETTER IN THE HOPE YOU CAN HELP ME.  IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR HELP I WILL GIVE YOU 50% OF MY WINNINGS, PLUS ANOTHER 10 THOUSAND YEN COLLECTORS FEE.

ALL I NEED FOR YOU TO DO IS BRING 30 POUNDS MEAT AS A DOWNPAYMENT TO THE PATH NORTH OF HUMAN VILLAGE AFTER DARK ON TUESDAY AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE WINNING TICKET.  IF YOU CAN'T GET 30 POUNDS OF MEAT, 20 POUNDS OF MEET WITH SPICE WOULD ALSO BE GOOD.  I WILL MEET YOU THERE TO GIVE THE WINNING TICKET.

YOURS TRUELY,
RUMIA

PS IF POSSIBLE BRING BBQ SAUCE SO I KNOW THAT THE HUMAN IS YOU.  I WILL BRING FORK AND KNIFE SO YOU KNOW IT IS ME.

--

Two figures surveyed the path north of the human village from high in the air.

"I don't believe that idiot!" Reimu said in digust.  "How could anyone have fallen for that?  There's no lotto of that size in the human village, and even if there was no one would be stupid enough to refuse to give the winning prize to a youkai."  She turned to yell down at the distant figure, "Hey moron!  Didn't you notice every single house in the village had one of those notes?!  It was the talk of the town all day!"

Aya sighed deeply.  "It's not like Rumia's doing much better.  She's just sitting in her cloud of darkness in the middle of the road."  The reporter shook her head in disdain.  "Would it be that much harder to hide in the bushes and ambush the fool?"

Reimu snorted.  "Why would she need to?  The moron's going to run right into that cloud of darkness.  Just you watch."

Sure enough the young man went straight into the darkness cloud.

"Shouldn't you help that human out?" Aya asked the shrine maiden.

"If she eats him she'll be doing the village a favor."  Reimu briefly glanced up at the tengu.  "Why'd you let her use your printing press for those notes anyway?"

Aya shrugged.  "Slow news week."

"Oh look."  Reimu pointed.  "Looks like he managed to not die."

Sure enough the young man was fleeing from the darkness cloud.  Somewhere in there he'd gained a few bite marks, and his backpack was spilling meat behind him from a large tear in it, but he seemed mostly unharmed. 

The cloud of darkness however was in quick pursuit!  At least until it slammed into a tree and stopped moving.  The young man however didn't bother to look back.  He just kept running for the safety of the village.

Aya finished scribbling some notes.  "And so it ends.  Well maybe I can make a comedy piece out of it."

"Good luck with that.  Me?  I'm going to grab that meat."  Reimu began flying down.

"Hey!"  Aya gave Reimu a look.  "As much as I hate to admit it Rumia earned that meat fairly.  Well fairly for a youkai.  Has the Hakurei shrine maiden been forced to resort to stealing to make ends meet?"

Reimu sighed then shrugged.  "Fine fine.  You grab the kid, I'll grab the meat, and we'll split the proceeds three ways.  You can do a food column or something."

"Now you're talking."
« Last Edit: February 19, 2010, 05:53:37 AM by IcedFairy »

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2010, 09:40:17 PM »
This isn't getting the attention it deserves, so allow me to throw my hat in.

-----

"It looks like such a wonderful day outside..."

Hieda no Akyu had to be content with the warm rays making their way through her window, much to her disappointment. The chronicles of Gensokyo remained unwritten, and until she had finished this duty her life's work would never be done. Well, technically it was her lives' work, but that just sounded awkward.

She was currently working on the segment covering the varied sorts of youkai that filled Gensokyo. Anyone with a hint of sense would have told her that they were far too numerous to write about, but that didn't stop Akyu. Still, with the small amount of money she had there was only so far she could finance her goal; people were not as sympathetic to her plea as she would have liked, and only Miss Kamishirasawa would ever drop in and welcome her.

Knock, knock!

Though she recalled that Keine never hit the door that fiercely.

"Hm?"

Akyu rose to her feet, unused to guests at this time of day. She tiptoed across the room, avoiding the various volumes lying strewn around, and carely pulled open the screen-door.

The first thing she noticed about the man is that he was not a village resident. She concluded this solely from the fact she'd never seen him before, and no-one could argue with Akyu's memory for faces. His skin was several shades darker than that of anyone she'd ever met, and the suit he wore was far too sophisticated for these parts. He filled it easily, given the bulge of a stomach he had.

"Hieda of Akyu? It is my greatest pleasure to make your acquaintance, and I come to you with a proposal in context but actually an appeal for your unreserved assistance in consummating an urgent transaction requiring maximum confidence."

Akyu blinked twice as she processed exactly what the man had said to her. When was the last time anyone had spoken to her with such verbosity?

"U-Um. Come in, please...?"

Not sure how to respond, she allowed the man to enter, nervously ensuring he sat a good distance away from her. His eyes glanced around the room only momentarily before they turned back to her.

"My name is Mr Ngobe Ngayaka Chief Credit Officer (CCO), Standard Chartered Bank Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. On December 6, 1999, a Foreign consultant/contractor with the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission, Mr. Erich Kakutasu, made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at Fifteen Billion Japanese Yen in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, I sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Kakutasu Company, that Mr. Kakutasu died from a Saboten accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a Will, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further investigation
and discovered that Mr. Kakutasu did not declare any next of kin or relations in all his official ocuments,including his Bank Deposit paperwork in our Bank."

Akyu's eyes narrowed slightly. Zimbabwe? Had she ever heard of that place? It would explain his unusual skin tone. And Japanese Yen at least she'd heard of - it was the currency the world outside the border used, and it was still accepted as currency in Gensokyo today. The man started to twiddle his thumbs as he continued speaking.

"From past experiences, I know that no one will ever come forward to
claim the deceased funds. According to Zimbabwean Law, at the expiration
of 5 years, the funds will be unclaimable and revert to the
ownership of the Zimbabwe Government as contribution to the Defence
ministry if nobody applies to claim the fund. In order to avert this
development, I in conjunction with a colleague (the Chief Operating
Officer in the bank) now seek your permission to allow an attorney do a
backdated will in your name, so that the funds would be released to you
as the new owner (on behalf of me and my colleague). I am visiting you because, citizens resident to Zimbabwe we cannot operate a foreign account or
have an account that is more than Zw$500,000.Consequently, I will
present you as the owner of the funds so you can be able to claim it on
our behalf with the help of an attorney."

Akyu's mouth slowly started to open, her eyes widening. This man may not have been speaking his native language, but his message was clear. Fifteen billion yen...she'd never seen that much money across all her lifetimes. Was this too good to be true?

"This is simple. I will like you to provide immediately your full name, address and Gensokyo Bank Account details, so that an Attorney will
prepare the necessary documents which will put you in place as the
beneficiary of the funds. The money will then be released to your
custody by the bank,for us to share in the ratio of 70% for us and 30%
for you. There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this
transaction will be done by the Attorney and this will guarantee the
successful execution of this transaction."

The yen signs practically worked their way out of Akyu's brain and into her eyes. Four and a half billion yen!? She could finance herself with lifetimes with money like that!

"A-Are you serious? This isn't a joke, right?!"

He smiled, apparently expecting a response like this.

"No doubt this proposal will make you apprehensive. Please I imploy you
to observe utmost confidentiality and rest assured that this transaction
would be most profitable for both of us. Note also that we shall require
your assistance to invest our share in your country."

"Y-Yes, of course. I know enough about Gensokyo to help you there."

As he handed her a piece of paper to write her details on, Akyu was well aware her hand was shaking. The thought of all that money - the supplies she could buy, the food, the clothes - people wouldn't look at her as a hopeless dreamer anymore. Maybe she could even hire scribes with that sort of money! That would make everything so much easier...

Within a minute she'd written down everything the man needed. He smiled, tucking the piece of paper into his suit. He nodded to her once.

"Thanks and regards. I will have the money transferred to your account shortly."

Akyu nodded in return as she opened the door for him. She couldn't contain the excitement - the mind of a young girl couldn't absorb an event like this without its fair share of squeeing.

"Oh, this is fantastic! I knew this endeavour would pay off! I knew someone would appreciate my work!"

For now, the chronicles could wait. This was her chance to enjoy herself...

---

The man quickly made his way out of the Human Village's residential area, making his way into the financial section. This basically equated to a single bank which everyone used, its monopoly unrivalled. It looked almost as if he was about to enter, but he slipped into a back alley one block beforehand.

Thirty seconds later, a figure walked out. It was no elderly man with dark brown skin and a suit - it was a young girl with six wing-like objects emerging from her back; three red, three blue. Her dark black dress matched the long tights on her feet.

She smirked.

"Stupid kid. Targets like that are almost too easy."

She held aloft the paper she'd acquired earlier, listing all the details she would need to empty the account of Hieda no Akyu. It wasn't that much money, but it'd feed her for a week or so.

"Think I'll try that Scarlet Devil place tomorrow. Hear that vampire girl is pretty damn rich..."

And so began the career of Nue Houjuu, Gensokyo's first con artist...

TOUHOU 13
東方金信盗 - Subtle Supposed Scandal

-----

Spoiler:
I have no idea what the real meaning of the three kanji are - I got them as results for Gold, Trust and Theft. :V

Forte Blackadder

  • 雲龍九現
  • Thi?n Giả L?ng Y?u
    • FaceBook
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2010, 12:48:01 PM »
My greetings,

Pardon my rudeness as emailing you, a stranger.

My name is Houraisan Kaguya, believe it or not, I'm a princess. So, 'what would a princess want from me?' you must be thinking. Very well, let me be straight: I'm keeping many ancient treasures that are more valuable than your life, your job and your Walkers crisp pack. I would love to sell the stuffs and buy me a DS Lite. However, my guardian is so strict, she doesn't allow me to get rid of those stupid artifacts. What an old hag, you see?

Therefore, for the sake of my new DS Lite, I want you to help selling those good-for-nothing treasures. The plan is simple: I will  have a long conversation with my guardian, giving you enough time to sneak in and job should be done.

We are living in the shrine uphill, not very far from the Human Village, named Hakurei Shrine. I shall place the treasure into the donation box. When you arrive, quickly open it and grab the artifact. My guardian is a sharp person, she may discover you fast so run like you're gonna die.

I don't mind if you consider this mail a scam, since I sent this to many people, looking for help.
Such cruel people will ignore a little cute helpless princess... Oh how life goes.

Anyhow, if you find this interesting and willing to help me, please give me your full name and your bank account, so I will know if you really send me the money afterwards. See? There is no scam, you get the treasure, sell it and send me the money to buy a DS Lite. You can keep the rest. There is no risk, my plan is perfect, and since it's my belonging, you can't have any issue with the cops!

I'll be looking forward to your reply, may the Force be with you.

Gensokyo xx/xx/xxxx
Your Highness,
Teruyo

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2010, 03:13:12 AM »
All righty then! It's been a week, and it's time to pass judgment on the submissions!

Our judges for this week have been: Myself, Chaore, and Sakana. Through the power of majority vote, we have come to a decision!

This week's winner is...

:drumroll:

... ICED FAIRY! Your fic was hilarious, and in the words of one of our judges: There just happens to be something about Rumia, Reimu, and Aya splitting the spoils three ways down, and the 'I'll bring the fork and knife so you know its me' part is comedy gold. Enjoy your well-earned SM-- but not for too long >:D

Honorable mention goes to Alice Margatroid. According to one of the other judges: It stays very close to the original while still including a lot of Touhou references. 'Short and awesome' is a good way to describe it.

Thanks to all our contestants for entering! We hope to make this contest a fixture of PSL, and the more entries we get, the better! You are all free to enter as many contests as you want in succession, and you all have an equal shot at winning SM. Here's your writing challenge for this week, submitted by Roukanken:

February 22, 2010: Dr. Komeiji's Traveling Clinic
Despite the title, it doesn't actually have to be Dr. Komeiji. In this week's writing challenge, you must involve one of the Touhou characters setting up a "medical" "practice". It can be hypnoregressive therapy at Koishi's hands, THC-certified products sold in the SDM, you name it! (And because this is a question that's bound to pop up: Yes, Eirin's canon medical practice is fair game, so long as you do it well.)

Have fun writing, folks!

IcedFairy

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2010, 03:51:47 AM »
Horray!   :*  And here I thought I just had a chance to become an idiot!  I should pay more attention to edits.

I liked all the fics, so I'm really looking forward to this new challenge, and defending my title as well.

Oh and Ruro, you wanted more comedy from me?  This sort of challenge should do it.   ;)

Now to start writing....

Hideki

  • ~La, la, la~
  • Texas Chensaw Massacre
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2010, 10:31:43 AM »
Ruukoto paused nervously in front of the large steel door.  As Reimu?s maid, it was her duty to do the chores around the shrine.  Sure she wasn?t really all that good at it, but she did them happily nonetheless.  Recently however, she began to feel rather lethargic, even when she was cleaning.  Alarmed, she asked Reimu what to do about her symptoms. 

?You?re a robot aren?t you??  Reimu had replied.  ?Go visit Nitori and tell her what?s wrong.?

After a bit of clarification about who this Nitori was, she found herself in front of the door.  She looked at the name plate.  It read ?Nitori Kawashiro, ME, EE, RMD.?  She thought that it looked like the ?RMD? was recently scribbled on.  It wasn?t very reassuring.

Well here it goes, She thought as she  raised her hand.  Before she could knock on the door, it swung open.  A short blue haired girl with pigtails appeared before her. 

This must be Nitori.  She was wearing a blue dress with an unusual amount of pockets around the edge of her skirt.  On top of her head was a green cap with a white squiggle on it.  NItori smiled.

?Ah, you must be Ruukoto,? She said.  ?Reimu said you were coming.  Come on in.?

As Nitori led the way into the door, Ruukoto hesitantly followed.  They entered a short hallway with several rooms branching off.  Nitori led her to the farthest door on the left, marked ?Laboratory? and opened it.  Inside the room was a bare steel table with several attachments and tool racks.  Along the walls there were more tool racks and several machines whose purpose Ruukoto couldn?t ascertain.  NItori motioned her to sit on the table as she sat down on a nearby chair. 

As Ruukoto sat herself down, Nitori started asking her questions. 

?So, what are you, and why did you come??

?I am a nuclear-powered gynoid designed and built by Yumemi Okazaki for Reimu?s use.  Recently, I feel like I don?t have the energy for doing chores.?

?Short and to the point huh??  Nitori got up and went to one of her tool racks.  Once she got there, she started searching for something.  As she was searching, she continued questioning. 

?How long have you been active??

?Um, about ten years??

?When did you start feeling tired??

?Late last month.?

?Are there any other problems?  Stiffness in joints, blackouts, constricted movement range, that kind of thing.?

?Uh, a little stiffness I guess.  Why??As Ruukoto watched, she picked something up and walked to the table. 

?No reason.  Can you lay face-down on the table??  Nitori asked.  ?I want to see what your diagnostics are.?

Ruukoto laid herself flat on the table.  After she had finished adjusting herself, she felt a probe insert itself in the center of the hazard symbol on her back. 

?Hmm??  Nitori started talking to herself as she looked at some readout that Ruukoto couldn?t see.  ?Does that go??  Huh.  I don?t think I would have done it that way?  Oh, hey?  What?s this??  A long pause followed.  Ruukoto was staring to feel uncomfortable. 

?Uh, can I get up now??

?Oh no,? Nitori abruptly replied.  Ruukoto felt her lubricant drop several degrees.  She didn?t like that tone of voice.  ?There?s something wrong with you.  We?ll have to operate.?

?Uh, no thanks?  I think I feel better now,? She tried to get up, but at that moment, metal straps wrapped around her arms, legs, and torso and pinned her to the table.  She heard a loud whirring noise, and went into full-blown panic mode.  However at that moment, she suddenly felt tired.  The last thing she heard before everything went black was Nitori?s voice over the whirring. 

?Don?t worry, you won?t feel a thing.?

-----------

Reimu waited outside the door to Nitori?s place.  A day after Ruukoto left to see her, Nitori called to ask to come pick her up.  Reimu was waiting, wondering why she needed to pick her up, when the door opened.  First out the door was Ruukoto, and the way she was behaving answered her question.

Is she drunk?  Reimu looked incredulously as her maid wobbled unsteadily across the corridor, singing some kind of song she must have picked up from Suika.  How did Nitori do that? 

Nitori exited her door.  To Reimu, she looked like a mess.  Oil and grease stains splattered her clothes, and she looked like she hadn?t slept for days. 

?What did you do to her?? 

Nitori looked at Reimu with tired eyes.  ?Ran a bunch of tests.?  She yawned.  ?Also tried to figure out a delivery system for this.?  She held out a bottle. 

Reimu took the bottle and nearly dropped it.  It was heavy!  ?What did you make this out of, lead??

?Yeah,? Nitori pointed at the label.  ?You need it for the shielding.?

Reimu read the label.  ?Yatagarasu brand Nuclear Pills??  She stared at the bottle.  ?Take twice daily with oil.?

?Ruukoto was running low on fuel, so I had Utsuho make up a batch,? She stretched.  ?It took forever to try to get a method to refuel her.? 

?Uh huh.?  Reimu said as Ruukoto draped herself over her shoulders.  ?So why is she like this??

?You?re red!?  She babbled happily.  ?Red light, white light, kappa light??

Nitori shrugged.  ?She?s probably coming off the anesthetic program I used to open her up.  Now, normally this would cost a considerable sum, but this time I?ll waive the fee.?  Nitori waved them off.  ?Now if you?ll excuse me, I need to sleep.?  She closed the door behind her. 

Reimu looked at the door before glancing at Ruukoto.  ?How about we get you home??

?Cucumbers are fuzzy!?

-----------

Nitori listened to them leave before she trudged down her hallway.  She didn?t tell the whole truth to Reimu.  Ruukoto did need the pills, but opening her up was for a completely different reason. 

Most of my time was occupied with something different, she thought as she looked at the device sitting on her laboratory work bench.  She gave it a pat before leaving.  Lying in her bed, she smiled.  There?s so much research to be done now that I have a copy of Ruukoto?s reactor.

Yeah, you didn't specify that the medical practice needed to apply to organic beings.

Badass bookworms

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2010, 11:23:41 PM »
"Well, looks like this is the place."

Aya Shameimaru looked down into Gensokyo's bamboo forests, her eyes falling upon the hidden mansion of Eientei. She smirked to herself for a moment as she considered that the non-winged youkai would've found themselves lost in the maze-like bamboo surrounding the mansion, while tengu like her could simply cheat and fly over the whole thing.

"No wonder I'm so good at this whole paparazzi thing - no-one can keep me out!"

She swooped down cleanly, her stilt-like boots leaving tiny imprints on the ground as she landed. From here she could see the sign speedily hammered just above the entrance, reading 'DR. YAGOKORO'S MEDICAL CLINIC. YOUKAI OF ALL FORMS ACCEPTED'.

Aya was not here for that service. She was here to resolve an issue with the bulging and slightly quivering box in her hand. Occasionally it let off a light whine, but a little shake was usually enough to silence it.

Stepping inside, Aya found herself stuck making her way through Eientei's identikit, eternally-long corridors. There were still helpful signs put up here and there for Eirin's clinic, and for the most part Aya followed these signs. The occasional rabbit walked past her, eyeing up her box with a mixture of curiosity and an urge to stay the everloving Makai away from her. Finally she pulled up to one final junction, with the medical clinic stationed just to her right.

She slipped through the door to the left instead - labelled 'DR. INABA'S VETERINARY CLINIC. PETS OF ALL FORMS ACCEPTED'.

---

"Ah?!"

As the door let off a chime, Reisen flinched slightly in her seat. Whatever happened, she had to avoid making it obvious that this was her first customer. She started on her introduction before her customer had even come into view.

"G-Good morning, ma'am, and welcome to Dr. Inaba's veterinary clinic! Here to help you with all your- oh. It's...you, Aya."

She flinched again when she saw who exactly her first customer was. Aya waved her camera at her as she entered, holding some sort of heaving box in her other hand.

"Hiii, Udonge! Sorry to bother you, but I was sort of needing your expertise on a couple of things. I assume I can come in for free advice and all?"

The tengu strutted around the room, looking at the various pieces of equipment strewn around the room. They literally were designed for pets of all types, from birds to fish and everything inbetween. Reisen had learned there was no point in telling her she wasn't allowed to touch something, because it only made her curiosity stronger. She was actually less of a nuisance when she had free reign.

"Well, I'm afraid we do need to invoke some charges. This is a business, after all, and-"

"Maybe I didn't make that quite clear."

Instantly, Aya was leaning over Reisen's desk, almost poking her in the forehead with the lens of her camera. Reisen hated it when she did that.

"Either I get a free checkup, or I might have to publish that article about the time you walked into Tewi's updraft trap."

Reisen's ears perked up. Aya's threat came out with a far-too-cheery tone, which if anything made it even more frightening for her. The tengu had earned herself a reputation for blackmail, but this was the first time she'd used it to gain an upper hand in Eientei.

"I even have some nice photos of it, actually - your friend was nice enough to tip me off. Honestly, I never would have guessed that your panties were-"

"Alrightalrightit'sfreeit'sfreewhatdoyouwant!?"

Reisen almost left a hole in her desk with the impact she made with her fist, her face turning bright red. Aya simply responded by bowing to her with apparent respect.

"Thank you for your generosity. Now, I was wondering if you could give me any help with this?"

She laid the box on the table, and it shook again as its captive tried to free itself. A few airholes had been hastily poked into the top of the box, and another hole from behind had what seemed to be a silver tail sticking out of it. Reisen undid the latch on the front, and immediately-

"Uwaah!"

A head poked out from within, letting off a little cry as it emerged. Reisen stepped back, caught off guard, as the pet turned to her with tears in her eyes. It took Reisen's brain a few seconds to realise that the pet she was treating wasn't a pet at all.

"Wait a minute...Aya, isn't this one of your subordinates?!"

Aya shrugged, ruffling Momiji's hair slightly.

"Well, I guess that's the case, but Momi here lost a drinking game to me a while back, so she's been my pet ever since."

Reisen rubbed at her temples. One customer and already she'd gone through enough madness to consider quitting. Momiji reluctantly started to pull herself out of the box, wincing slightly as she pulled her arms and legs out.

"Wait, how did you even fit her in a box this small?"

"By pushing really really hard. Simple, huh?"

Reisen's attempt at a counter-argument was silenced by another wave of that damned camera. Momiji finally got herself out of the cage, panting slightly as she rubbed the multiple bruises running across her body.

"Uwaahn...Miss Aya, you're so mean..."

Aya clasped her hand over Momiji's mouth, waving a finger in her other hand.

"Now, now, Momiji. Dogs don't talk, and wolves are just dogs but a little bit bigger, got it?"

Momiji's eyes conveyed her reluctance with ease, and she let off another groan as Aya moved in to hug her. It was then Reisen noticed something strange in the youkai's pet's actions - her eyes started to water slightly, and she began to sniff.

"M-Miss Aya, that hu-ah...aah..."

Aya, aware of the warning signs, quickly pulled her hand away before Momiji could finish. Reisen followed suit, clearing room as the tengu gave in to a sudden urge to clear her nose.

"Aaachooo!"

She let off a heaving sneeze, sniffing rather pitifully as she rubbed her nose on her sleeve.

"See, doc, here's the problem. She just keeps on sneezing whenever I hug her. The hell is wrong with her?"

Aya pouted as she turned to Reisen, who was already examining Momiji with some intensity. Not out of curiosity, or even out of a sense of duty; simply because she wanted this pair out of here as soon as possible. Besides the obvious injuries her entrapment had brought around, Momiji didn't seem to be hurt in any way, so she decided to quickly run with her first instinct.

She plucked a feather from Aya's back.

"Ow! Hey, what are you-!?"

Aya took too long grabbing at her now slightly less impressive wings to stop Reisen from holding the feather in front of Momiji's nose. Immediately a familiar mistiness rose in the wolf's eyes.

"Ah...ah-CHOO!"

This time she sneezed with enough force to knock herself off the desk. She hit the floor with a painful-sounding slam.

"Oww..."

She rubbed at her head, tears hanging in her eyes as she got herself back up to her feet. Aya and Reisen were too busy talking to notice her plight, which admittedly was nothing new for Momiji.

"So, it seems that Momi- I mean, your pet has an allergy to feathers."

"I see, I see. Any sort of treatment you can offer?"

"Well, there is a brand of pills which should be able to help her, but they won't come cheap-"

"I'm sorry, what colour were your panties again?"

Reisen's ears stood on end for an instant in fear. She grit her teeth, facepalming as she forced her next words out.

"Then again, since you are a much-esteemed and trusted customer, I would be happy to offer you a free prescription."

Aya's face beamed.

"Oh, how generous of you! I might give your little place a nice mention in my next article, actually~"

Reisen rummaged around her desk, pulling out a bottle of pills labelled 'SNEEZAWAY'. She scribbled an indeceipherable signature on a leaflet as she handed it over to Aya.

"One every morning should do her fine."

"Alright, thanks for e-"

"M-Miss Aya!"

Neither of them had expected Momiji to interrupt the conversation, but the wolf was on her feet and speaking her mind.

"T-That wasn't very nice! Doctors need people to pay for their goods too! W-What if no-one paid for the Bunbunmaru?!"

Her rant, well reasoned and logical as it was, was more or less ignored by its target, who turned back to Reisen.

"She yaps too much. Don't suppose there's anything you can do 'bout that?"

"Well, we do offer muzzles, but they come for a small charge-"

"They were striped, weren't they? Purple and pink, if I recall."

"...I'll get one for you."

Reisen reluctantly walked over to the wall and brought down a leather muzzle designed for a dog. She handed it to Aya, who quickly proceeded to put it to use.

"...and that's why you're a mean, mean, per-mmph?!"

The muzzle stuck out from Momiji's face slightly, but it just about did its job. Momiji clawed at it briefly.

"Mmmh..."

Another muffled moan as she realised the muzzle was locked in place. Aya breathed a sigh of relief as she heard it.

"Ah, sweet silence. Thanks, doc, you're a lifesaver!"

She led her muffled-friend out the door, not having the patience to stuff her back into the box. The pills were in her other hand as she waved goodbye.

"Yeah, whatever. Come again, I guess."

Reisen didn't have it in her to give a heartful farewell as the pair stepped out the door. She sat back at her desk, slamming her head into the wood. The pain was surprisingly therapeutic.

"...I wonder if it's legal for me to fire myself."

Forte Blackadder

  • 雲龍九現
  • Thi?n Giả L?ng Y?u
    • FaceBook
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2010, 11:46:37 AM »
"So she is having a cold huh..." Eirin talks to the phone. "Well, since you're so worried why don't drop her by? I will take a look and see if she needs any medicine. Huh? Can't move? That's quite serious, how about I have my disciple visit you then? She's quite skillful with medicine already." Eirin quickly moves her hand to the shelf, take out some bottle and place them in a box. "Eh, you already have the medicine?" She stops for a moment. "Then why asking? Just let her drink it!"

Eirin jams the phone down. "What's with people nowadays, if you don't buy my medicine then how can I get money..." She seems a little upset.

*Knock knock*

Someone is knocking the door. Eirin instantly straightens up her clothes and elegantly asks them to come in.

"Good day, doc." A woman steps in the room. She is quite tall, wearing red plaid clothes, having a big parasol and a mysterious smile on her face.

"My, isn't it Kazami-san. Why a person like you would go to a clinic?" Eirin slowly stands up and grabs a chair for Yuka.

"Well, nothing special. I'm just feeling uncomfortable."

"Oh, that's news. Well then, let me hear what is your problem." Eirin eagerly talks, it's quite unusual for a powerful creature like Yuka to have a cold, isn't it? Anyhow, this can be a good experience, and money too.

"Yes... but, er... why are you asking me again?"

"Huh? Because I'm a doctor and I need to understand my patient's situation?" Eirin looks confused.

"Oh, you're the doctor?" Yuka looks even more confused.

"Of course, you just called me 'doc' when you came in."

"My, my, really so? Sorry, it must because your clinic is quite dark I didn't have a good look." Yuka shamefully giggles.

"Eh? Dark?" Eirin looks around the room. The lights are all on perfectly, she bought them from the kappa who promised to give a constant power supply. "Is it dark? I spend ?200 each month for the light you know... Ok miss, please take your parasol away." Eirin points at Yuka, who is holding her big, pink parasol like she's still outside. At the moment Yuka looks like a huge mushroom.

"Oh? Haha my bad. Now it's all bright and nice, thank you." Yuka blushes a bit more and places her parasol to the floor. "Eh... your floor is painted red? Looks nice."

"What? Oh that, no it's not painted." Eirin takes a quick look while arranging her messy table.

"It's not? Then why is it red?"

"It's my experience."

"Hah? What experience?"

"It's the patients' blood."

Yuka startles a bit, she pulls her legs and somehow shrugs on her chair. Eirin pleasantly continues "Oh, because the patients want their doc's experience the most you see, I just came to Gensokyo for months so whenever I had surgeons, I just leave the blood there and people can see."

"R-right. Evidence says the truth doesn't it..." Yuka looks troubled, but since there was no incident on the news, she ought to believe that all the surgeons were succeed. "Just a few months you managed to cover your floor with blood, pretty amazing doc."

"Thanks... but anyway, what are your problems?"

"Ah yes, I have..." Yuka takes a long pause. "What's my problem doc?"

Eirin looks at Yuka with her wide-opened eyes. "How do I know? That is your problem!"

"You're the doctor, if you don't know how am I supposed to know?" Yuka asks back.

"Eh? But I didn't know about that!"

"Eh? Does that mean it's serious?" Yuka seems panicked. She leans towards Eirin.

"What the hell... did your head get hit somewhere?"

"No no, I only hit people." The youkai moe honestly replies.

"Strange, let me ask, did you get drunk last night? They threw a party at the shrine didn't they." Eirin heard that Yuka is a care-free youkai and pretty air-head, but from the beginning she's been acting like a bird-brain.

"No, either. I drink time to time but I hardly pass out on it."

"Then, do you smoke?" Eirin starts her usual examination, as a doctor that is.

"No. I'm a flower youkai, naturally I hate fire and smoke."

"Do you gamble? Things like poker?"

"No, but what does it have to do with anything?"

"It has, look, some illness is created by stress, and some stress is created by gambling." Eirin speaks like a professor in her representation.

"It may be so, but I don't gamble, I don't even know poker."

"Then, are you, by any chance, sexually frustrated?"

"No, no! I'm not a kid." Yuka quickly denies, waving her hand before her face.

"Okay... so no drinking, no smoking, no gambling, no sex. You need a life." Eirin concludes.

"What?"

"It'd be common sense wouldn't it?" Eirin giggles.

"Please, doc. I concern of my health here."

"Yes yes, I believe you have an amnesia, a light case though."

"That-that's right! Amnesia! Lately I've been forgetting stuffs! Thanks doc you're amazing!" Yuka jumps, she looks very happy now she's holding Eirin's hands.

"No problem, I told you I have experience didn't I?" the silver haired doctor points down the floor.

"Yes, yes. So that's how it is. I have an... an..." Yuka tilts her head.

"An amnesia."

"Right, amnesia. How can I cure it doc?"

"First, we need to find the cause. Most case it's because of the stress. Do you have any trouble at work?" Eirin starts writing something on her file.

"Not really, but I do have stress lately, it's late spring now so the bugs start mating, they are all over my garden."Yuka sighs.

"Troublesome indeed. Why don't you try relaxing at work? Like for instance, singing? I believe singing in a garden is just lovely."

"Yes, sounds very nice, but... sometimes I forgot the lyrics."

"...Right. Maybe I'll give you some treatment first and see how it goes."

Eirin walks to the shelf full of bottles and pill tabs. She takes down some liquid-like bottles and put them in a paper bag. 

"Erm doc? How much is it?"

"Oh this, quite cheap you see. Only ?1000."

"1000! What a rip-off!"

"What are you shouting for, you have amnesia! 1-k is cheap already."

Eirin holds her arms steadily. As expected from a Moon sage, she is unmovably when it comes to pharmacy. Even if it's Kazami Yuka, she is still un-matched for the greatest doctor of all, who single-handledly took care of all illness Gensokyo has known of.
 
"But... but you just said I have a light case! It should be a little cheaper, pretty please? See, I'm just a youkai, I don't have that kind of money..."

"..." Eirin still stands mighty in front of her medicine. "...Very well, I'll give you a discount as being my first patient this year and having a light case. ?1500, no less."

"Thanks, that's more like it. See, it's good I'm having a light case, or else I'd have to pay you... er..." Yuka searchs her purse.

"?2000 for a serious amnesia." Eirin steadily replies.

"Yes, yes. Ok here is my check." The youkai signs her check and hands it to Eirin. She gladly accepts it.

"But, I'm unsure if I have anything left in my bank."

The happiness instantly disappears on Eirin's face. The Lunarian now has her jaw dropped to the floor and she shouts at Yuka. "What do you mean?"

"You see, I have an amnesia... How about I pay you back after the treatment?" she honestly replies.

"That won't do, if I treated you and you forget that I treated you then you will not pay me."

"No, if you treat me well I should remember what happened and pay you back."

"Of course I'll treat you well, but the amnesia only off after the treatment, not during the
process."

"How about this, you keep that check, after you cure my amnesia just give me back the check and I'll pay you in cash, alright?" Yuka winks.

"My... ok then... please lay down on this bed." Eirin sighs asshe's pulling down a high bed,
covered in a smooth, white sheet with a big light bulb above.

"For what?" Yuka looks confused.

"An Operation." Eirin coldly replies.

"A surgeon? But... is it nessessary?" The conversation about the clinic's floor flashes back in Yuka's head.

"It is, now, do you want to cure your amnesia or not?"

A little shivering, Yuka lays down to the bed. Eirin then digs her hands in a metal box, looking for something. The doctor then drink some liquid from her bottle, comes back to the bed and spits it onto Yuka's face.

"Wha- what is it?"

"Anaesthetic."

"What the hell, you gushes anaesthetic like that? It can't even anaesthetize you!" Yuka angrily shouts at Eirin.

"It's because I'm the doctor here. Damn you're so annoying, just sleep already." Eirin turns around, ignoring Yuka's complains and rubs a knife on her blouse.

"What are you doing?"

"Sterilizing, of course."

"Sterilizing my foot, you're just wiping it on your blouse!"

"Tch, you, you just don't know anything. Oh should I explain it to you in Biblical English, Lunarian and Ancient Chinese? Let it simple for you: I already sterilized my blouse yesterday!"

"What the- No no I don't need a surgeon anymore." Yuka quick stands up and steps away from the bed.

"Hah? You don't want to cure your amnesia?"

"It's fine, I can live with it, I'm outta here."

"It's bad you know. Don't worry, I'm confident in my skills, you will sense no pain." Eirin persuasively speaks to the youkai.

"Of course I won't sense anything when I'm dead! I'm out of here, give that back!" Yuka angrily demands.

"Give what back?"

"My ?1500 check."

"Eh? Sh-, and you said you had an amnesia..." Eirin bitterly mutters, handing the check to Yuka.

"Damn you, I maybe absent-minded but I'm not stupid!" The green hair beauty stomps out of the room, jams the door behind her. Eirin stands in the middle of the room, with a blank look on her face. Then she slowly lays on the bed, exhaustedly.

« Last Edit: February 26, 2010, 04:49:42 PM by Fortevn »

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2010, 03:39:18 PM »
What's the deadline? I have a piece outlined that I could post tonight.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2010, 04:33:07 PM »
The deadline is always sunday midnight, since it's a weekly challenge.

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2010, 05:01:49 PM »
The deadline is always sunday midnight, since it's a weekly challenge.

I realize it's a weekly challenge, as it's right there in the title and all, but it's not immediately obvious that Sunday at midnight is the deadline.  Might wanna put that in the OP.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2010, 05:07:27 PM »
Now that you mention it... ^^;
I blame Ruro for not putting it in the OP ;P
*runs off to edit OP

Edit: Though I should probably let Ruro clarify the deadline. It may be midnight at my place, but that's due to timezones...
« Last Edit: February 26, 2010, 05:09:34 PM by Moe Moe Sakana-Katana »

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2010, 05:34:18 PM »
That's a good point - midnight in what time zone? I hadn't thought of that.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2010, 06:18:44 PM »
I wanted to write down a specific deadline, by midnight at Mountain Standard Time or something, but I knew that I might be late every now and again, and I'm not the sort to disqualify someone if their submission is two minutes late or something. That's what I was trying to get at with "You have a week to complete a challenge and submit it. In practice, this means 'right up until the next challenge is posted'. "

Eh, I suppose I'll have to specify 12:00 AM Monday, MST in the opening post. :/

IcedFairy

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2010, 08:10:33 PM »
"What!?" Reisen found herself staring at her master in shock.

"Sorry, was I not clear?  I want you to run the clinic for today," Eirin said with a light smile.  "This is the next logical step in your apprenticeship."

"But today's when you go to the human village isn't it?  I've never done that with you, much less solo!  I was always out selling medicine while you did the doctor's work."  Reisen knew her pleading was futile, but she had to try.

"Exactly.  You have all the knowledge you need.  You just need experience.  And that is best gained in real world situations."  Eirin continued, "Having me as a security blanket would only cause you to second guess yourself.  Only practicing on your own can you perfect the medical arts."

Reisen's face fell.  She was stuck.

"Don't worry too much though.  I've sent Tewi to help you.  She'll be your nurse assistant."

Reisen buried her face in her hands and began to cry.
-----

Reisen had recovered most of her composure by the time she reached the building that housed Eientei's temporary clinic.  She unlocked the door and began setting up for the days work.

Tewi was nowhere to be seen.  She wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a very, very bad sign.

Still there wasn't much Reisen could do about that.  She made sure all the supplies were in their proper places, then grabbed the the doctors coat from the hanger.  After a moments hesitation she grabbed the glasses sitting there and put them on as well.  Eirin claimed they were to keep her from accidentally driving patients insane.  Reisen figured her master just had a meganekko fetish.  Still, she knew if she didn't wear them, that somehow Eirin would know.

Reisen was just finishing getting ready when someone knocked on the door.

"Just a second!"  Reisen quickly flipped the sign in the one window to 'Open' then opened the front door.

However instead of a patient there was a large doll in a nurses outfit instead.

"Hi!" Medicine exclaimed happily while skipping into the office.  "I'm here to fill in for the other rabbit!"

Reisen looked down at the poison doll youkai.  With Tewi involved she should have expected something along these lines.  "So how'd she'd rope you into this?"

"She promised to pay me ten times her salary!"

Reisen sighed and shook her head.  "We don't pay her."

Medicine's smile didn't waver.  "Yep!  I guessed that.  But I figured I could steal what was in the petty cash drawer while I was here!"

Reisen gave the doll youkai a long look.  They grew up so fast these days.  "All right, fair enough.  Just remember you can't poison any of the patients, okay."

"Okay!"  There was a pause.  "What am I supposed to be doing anyway?"

Reisen considered the matter for a moment.  "Do you have any medical training?"

"Nope!" the doll cheerily replied.

Reisen pointed to the front desk.  "Then stand there and look pretty."

"I'm good at that!  I did that all the time when I was a doll."  Medicine nodded and rushed over to her appointed spot.  "I didn't realize I had experience at this job.  This'll be great!"
-----

The early morning hours weren't that bad.  A couple of broken bones and a few colds.  Nothing that Reisen hadn't dealt with while selling medicine.  Medicine had acted cute, and barring the one recruitment incident, had been generally more helpful then Tewi.

Sadly the simple times were not to last.
-----
11:45 AM

"So these aches and pains seem purely random?" Reisen asked, trying to ignore the dark morass floating above the patient's head.  Most people couldn't see it, but Reisen's eyes could pick up the strange wavelengths of the grudge.

"Yeah.  They just seem to come outta nowhere."  The dark cloud snapped at an arm and the woman began rubbing the spot.

Reisen sighed internally.  This idiot had managed to get herself cursed.  The shrine maiden should be the one to deal with this, not her.  Still she had to go through the motions.  "Let me take your temperature."

As Reisen went through the motions of searching for the 'illness' the curse swirled around more and more.  It began to hiss laughter at her and strike just when it would be most inconvenient for the current test.

When it got to forming obscene imagery in the haze Reisen's patience snapped.  "After a careful examination I've decided you need laser eye surgery."

"What?  But there's nothing wrong with my eyes."

Reisen took off her glasses.  "I meant surgery with laser eyes."  A concentrated blast of raw power sent the curse slamming into a wall where it solidified into a proto youkai like morass.  "Medicine, that's not a patient."

Medicine waved her hands towards it.  "One dose of poison coming up!"  The black morass was enveloped in a purple mist and proceeded to wither away.

Reisen turned towards the stunned patient.  "That'll be 24 ryo please."

--

2:38

Reisen put down the stethoscope and finished a few notes.  "I'm afraid that we can't do anything for your condition sir."

The farmer started slightly in shock.  "What!  Why not?!"

Riesen sighed.  "Because you are dead.  You have no pulse, your temperature is negative 6 degrees and you lack a physical body.  You are a ghost.  No amount of medicine can help you there."

The man's face twisted into an inhuman mask of rage.  "How dare you say such things!  All I want is some stitches for this cut! "

Reisen took a deep breath before continuing.  "That's not a cut.  That's a hole.  Specifically the one the kama placed in your chest.  The one that killed you!"

"I'm not dead!"  The man stubbornly insisted.

"You aren't breathing!"

"It's just subtle."

"You have no feet!"

"It's a genetic condition."  The ghost swung his fist through the desk.  "I'm tired of this runaround.  I demand a second opinion!"

Reisen snarled.  She was very tempted to just blast him.  Fortunately the sight of Medicine giggling in the background at the mans stupidity kept her from giving into her violent impulses.

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.  After a bit she opened her eyes.  "Fine.  I'll refer you to a competitor."  Reisen grabbed a sheet of paper and scribbled down an address before handing it to the man.

"Hmph.  Serves you right."  The man peered at the note.  "Where is 'wherever that lazy bum decided to slack off today?'"

"By the Sanzu River I believe."

"Well we'll see what Dr Onozuka has to say."  The man floated off through the door.

"Goodbye forever!" Medicine called after him.

"And good riddance." Reisen muttered.

--

4:57

It had been all quiet for the past few hours.  Medicine had taken to drawing flower pictures with the crayons in the lobby.  Reisen had considered telling her it was unprofessional, but then decided the patients deserved the warning.

The quiet was disturbed by the sound of voices arguing outside the door.  The two youkai had just enough time to stand up and adjust their uniforms before the door opened, revealing a small family.  The young man in the middle seemed to be alternating between cringing in pain and telling his relatives he would be fine.

Reisen adjusted her glasses and waved them to the examining table.  "Help him here please."

"Thank you doctor," the lady of the family said before turning to rejoin the argument.  Reisen guessed from the way the woman kept getting distracted by her ears that she was originally an outsider.  That was probably for the best, since outsiders seemed to put more faith in modern medicine.

The lunar rabbit grabbed a few instruments from the wall and scribbled some quick notes before interrupting the conversation.  "So what seems to be the problem."

"I'm fine."  The man protested.  "I just have some stomach cramps, that's all.  It'll go away soon."

The woman frowned and turned to Reisen.  "He's been having serious abdominal pain for several days now."

Reisen nodded then poked the man in the side.  He crumpled before swearing violently at the pain.  "Hm...  I'll need to perform another test.  Could everyone in the room be silent for a little while?"

It took some doing but eventually the patient and all the various relatives quieted down.  Reisen took off her glasses and began to focus.  Her ears twitched as the ultrasound waves she was creating did their work.

"You were right to bring him to me.  He's suffering from advanced appendicitis.  I'll need to operate immediately."  Reisen opened up the doors to the operating room.  "Medicine, can you create Ether?"

Medicine jumped up and ran to escort the man into the room.  "You betcha!  Lemme guess, you want me to prove how good I am by just keeping the human unconscious right?"

"Exactly."  Reisen grabbed her gloves and a scalpel.  "Alright, begin administering anesthetic."

After a moment Reisen added, "That means poison him now."

"Right!"

Reisen didn't know exactly how many hours passed while she worked.  She'd never done this before, but the knowledge seemed to come to her easily.  Perhaps her master had been right, perhaps she needed this trial by fire.

Finally she put in the last stitches.  "Okay.  That's it."

Medicine nodded.  "Okay.  Should I leave him unconscious for a little longer?"

Reisen nodded.  "You've got it."  She then walked out to the family.  "He should be fine now.  He'll need to avoid strenuous work for two weeks, and take one of these each every morning."  Reisen placed two pill bottles on the front desk.  "The stitches will dissolve automatically when they're no longer needed."

"Thank you so much," the woman who had dragged the patient in said.  She looked at the bottles.  "So this one is for pain and this one is for antibiotic...  Wait this one says it can just heal the appendix without invasive surgery!"

Reisen nodded as she cleaned off her glasses.  "Yes, but I've never had the chance to perform surgery on a human before, so I figured I'd give it a shot anyway."

The woman looked at her with shock.  "Haven't you heard of the Hippocratic oath!?"

Reisen thought about it for a moment.  "Oh right.  That.  Eirin tried to have me take it once but she couldn't get past 'First do no harm' without bursting into laughter."  She shook her head.  "Anyway that'll be 35 Ryo please."

The family seemed to still be speechless.

At this point Medicine decided to carry in the patient in her bloodstained nurse outfit.  "Here you go.  He'll be awake in an hour."

The woman looked at the two youkai, tossed the coins on the counter and with the help of her family grabbed the patient and the pills and left.

Reisen sighed and took off her coat.  "Well that's it for today.  Come on, let's finish up work."

Medicine tried to wipe the blood of her outfit with little success.  "Aren't we done?  What more is there to do?"

"The most important part.  Drinking after the job."
---

"Alcohol is the best poison ever!" Medicine said in a slurred voice as she placed her glass down.  "Well second best," she amended after a thought.

"Alright, I think you've had enough," Mystia stated, taking away the glass.  "And don't try pouting at me.  It loses all it's effectiveness when your covered in blood."

Reisen put her cup in front of the doll youkai.  "It's okay.  You can help me finish off mine."  As Medicine happily finished off the glass she stretched.  "You did real good today.  If you ever want to help out again just drop by.  I'll teach you how your actually supposed to do things."

Medicine thought about it a bit.  "Hm... So what did I do wrong?"

"Well the big one would be not getting a clean uniform.  You aren't supposed to be splattered with blood."

"Oh.  That makes sense."  Medicine began unbuttoning the nurse outfit.

Reisen blinked for a moment before moving to catch Medicines hands.  "Woah!  Hold on.  You aren't just a doll anymore, you can't change clothes in public!"

Then there was a bright flash of light, along with a terrifying click.  A sound feared throughout Gensoukyo.  The sound of a camera.

Reisen was chasing after the culprit within seconds.  She already knew who was responsible and where they were headed.  "TEWI!"

Medicine took a little longer to recover before chasing after herself.  "Hey, that looks like fun!"

Mystia sighed and recovered the dishes.  And people wondered why she demanded payment in advance.

--

?Master I'm telling you, that picture of Tewi's is completely out of context!?

?Don't worry.  I'm not here to talk about that.  I'm here to review your performance.?  Eirin's smile did little to assuage Reisen's worries.

?Can I take of the glasses for this??

?No."

"Anyway, let's review.? Eirin continued, picking up a notepad and checking off some items.  ?There were no critical mistakes in your medical performance.  However, you need to work on your personal interactions with the patients.  You get frustrated far too easily.?

Reisen's ears twitched.  ?I'll keep that in mind master.?

Eirin put down the notepad.  ?You made a few small mistakes during surgery that'll we'll go over later, but for now we'll concentrate on the training I forgot to give you.?

Reisen looked at her in confusion.  ?What training is that??

Eirin stood up slowly.  ?When seducing your assistant it's best to pick a secluded area and have a solid work excuse.  I personally tend to use 'performance evaluations....'?

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #19 on: February 27, 2010, 01:19:56 AM »
Mystia's Magic Sand

1.

Mystia sat by her grilled eel stand, leaning against it dejectedly one late summer night, looking up at the stars and trying to invent her own constellations. As usual around this time of night, Wriggle came by to visit her.

?Hey, Mystia,? Wriggle greeted her warmly, then paused, looking at her a moment. ?What's the matter? You seem down.?

?I am down,? grumbled Mystia. ?I blinded eight people tonight, so you'd think I'd be in a good mood. But you're the first person I've seen tonight.?

?Huh, that's weird. You think they might've gotten lost??

?Nah, they didn't. Normally when they do, you hear them get attacked by youkai, crying out in terror, at some point in the night. It's pretty hilarious. No, Alice and Marisa probably got to them before I did.?

?Marisa and Alice are killing people??

?What? No. They're curing their blindness. I've got no business. You think people would eat this stuff if it wasn't to cure blindness? Forget it. I'm going to have to close up shop.? Mystia sighed.

Wriggle thought about the situation a moment, hoping to offer a suggestion that could cheer her friend up. ?Well,? she thought out loud. ?You know how to do other things, right??

?You're right.? Mystia considered, nodding. ?There has to be another way to make money off of people by blinding them.?

?You could just rob them. They can't see you.? Wriggle shrugged.

Mystia looked appalled. ?Touch one of those things? Are you kidding me? Never.?

?Hm. Do you know any magic??

Mystia laughed wryly. ?Apart from blinding people, I can dance, and that's really about it.?

?Well, you also got pretty good merchant sense,? Wriggle offered. ?You could open up a shop somewhere. Of course you'd have to consider where, and what you'd sell, who would buy it. And you couldn't really blind people. Or, maybe you could, after they bought something. If you really wanted to.?

Mystia didn't appear to be listening. She was staring at a point a few yards behind Wriggle, an idea congealing.

?Wriggle ? I think I know what to do. OK. You have to swear not to tell anyone this, but the sand of the shores of the Misty Lake has magical properties.?

Wriggle started back a little, surprised. ?What? I never heard that.?

Mystia paused. ?Well, actually it's not true. But it doesn't matter. We can sell it as magic sand, tell people it's a secret where it's from.?

An owl hooted. ?What?? said Wriggle at last.

?We tell people it's magic sand, and that it can do all kinds of things like ? like cure headaches and stomach aches, and heartburn, and fevers and ? yeah. Anything.?

?Hang on a moment.? Wriggle cut in. ?How- Why magic sand? Won't people find out it's not magic??

Mystia chuckled. ?Are you kidding? You think what Marisa and Alice do is something special? I'll tell you what ? almost all magic is just making someone think you used magic on them.?

?Eh? Really?? Wriggled laughed. ?Wow. Anyone could do it.?

?You know it. And if one or two people say it doesn't work, we'll just tell 'em they didn't use it right. Ha!?

Mystia stood up, her eyes gleaming with joy. ?Alright, Wriggle. Guess we're going to the lake.

2.

Wriggle and Mystia spent the better part of the night on the shores of the Misty Lake, a half-moon lighting their work, as they scooped handfuls of sand, one by one, into little cloth swatches of brown cloth, which they'd bind up with string.

The following evening, Wriggle and Mystia covered the unused eel grill with a cloth and arranged the little pouches of sand on it. There were forty in all. While they waited for customers, Mystia practiced dancing, and Wriggle watched her.

About two hours later, Rinnosuke stopped by. Mystia was dancing, and Wriggle sat with her back to him. Mystia waved to him happily, and ended in a half-hearted split. Wriggle clapped gleefully.

?Well, what brings you by here?? Mystia asked. ?Eyeing up the competition??

Rinnosuke looked at the little cloth bags, then looked at her. ?No. I don't sell eel. I heard you're not selling it anymore, either. Or rather, that 'we ran that little squab out of business', as Marisa put it to me today. So I was just curious to see what you'd be-? He looked down at the cloth sacks. ?What are these things??

?Magic sand,? Mystia chirped.

?Magic sand.? Rinnosuke repeated. ?Is that right??

?That's right. And it can do anything,? said Wriggle, punctuating it with a nod.

Rinnosuke suppressed a smile. ?Anything??

?Well, not anything of course,? Mystia shrugged. ?But it can take care of, uh, headaches, and fever, and bad stomach. That kind of thing.?

Rinnosuke picked up a bag, weighing it in his hand. It was no bigger than his palm. He turned it over in his hand, and then put it down. ?And how did you get this magic sand??

Mystia cleared her throat. ?It's a trade secret. Sorry.?

?Hm. Of course.? Rinnosuke rubbed his chin. He saw an opportunity take shape. ?You know what? I'm going to help you out. I'll recommend people stop by here.?

Mystia's eyes widened. ?What? Really??

?Of course,? Rinnosuke smiled. ?It's not easy starting a new business. I admire your entrepreneurial spirit.? He picked up the same bag he'd inspected before. ?May I have one? How much??

Mystia and Wriggle froze. They hadn't actually thought of a price. Rinnosuke reached into his pocket, dropping a one yen coin onto the cloth over the grill. He turned, walking away. ?Good luck, you two,? he called back. This ought to be fun, he thought to himself.

3.

The next day, Rinnosuke paid a visit to the human village. He brought up Mystia's magic sand frequently in conversation. As outlandish as Mystia's claims of the sand's power were, Rinnosuke offered that at one yen a piece, it wouldn't hurt to try it. Worse thing that happens is, it doesn't work, he'd say. Which is what he imagined would happen, as one person after the next would invariably ask for their money back, teaching Mystia a little lesson in swindling people. At Rinnosuke's recommendation, dozens of people visited Mystia's stand.

Mystia couldn't believe how well business was doing. She and Wriggle spent the first few nights digging sand until dawn, busy making the little pouches of sand under the stars.

And then business began to really pick up.

Much to Rinnosuke's surprise, people began to claim that the sand worked. Headache gone, stomach calmed, dandruff cured ? all because of the sand. He couldn't believe it. Did it actually have magical properties? Did that stupid sparrow stumble upon it due to sheer luck? Stranger things have happened in Gensokyo, he had to admit. Still, he had to be sure.

4.

Marisa stood outside her home one afternoon, airing out a blanket, flapping it in the air with both hands. She'd had a lot of free time lately, and got bored enough to give her place a cleaning. She smiled, a bit relieved, to see Rinnosuke approaching.

?Hey there, Rinnosuke!? Marisa said, letting the blanket drop. ?What brings you by??

Rinnosuke took the bag of sand from his pocket, holding it out for Marisa. ?Mystia has been selling these. It's supposed to be magic sand.?

?Magic sand, eh?? Marisa smiled, snapping it up. ?Hm.? She smelled it, then opened it, looking inside. She shrugged. ?Looks like regular ol' sand.?

?Would you mind ? checking it??

?Check to see if it's magic? Sure, I've got nothing better to do. What's it supposed to do??

Rinnosuke sighed. ?It's supposed to be a type of medicine. Cures an array of symptoms.?

Marisa chuckled, looking into the bag. ?So Mystia's still a con artist.?

?Well, probably. But you know, I'd like to be sure.?

Marisa considered Rinnosuke a moment. He rubbed his nose.

?Why do you care, hm?? Marisa asked, smirking. ?People not buying your roots and berries??

He folded his arms across his chest. ?There has been a ? not insignificant drop in sales in that area, yes.?

Marisa nodded. ?Yeah, alright. I'll check it out. You head on back and do whatever it is you do all day.? With that, she turned, and went back in the house.

Rinnosuke watched the door close. Shaking his head, he turned and headed back to his shop.

5.

As Marisa had discovered, the sand had no magical properties whatsoever. It was just regular sand. She'd seen this happen before. When she was a girl, there was a man who claimed to have discovered a tree bark that could cure colds if you chewed it. One by one, more and more people began noticing that it worked, and soon they started looking for the trees themselves. When the miraculous healing trees were unfound, the man who sold the bark confessed that it had been a hoax.

Mystia was trying to do the same thing with her sand. It boggled Marisa's mind just how short-sighted the idea was, but she wasn't surprised by the source. Neither was Rinnosuke to hear it. Mystia's comeuppance is going to be sweet, he mused.

And yet as the week passed, the number of customers only built and built. At first, Mystia was delighted, but as demand grew, so did she and Wriggle lose more and more sleep, digging into the sand of the Misty Lake for hours on end. Her back ached from the work. Her nerves frayed from lack of rest. Their clandestine operations were starting to leave a dent in the sand about half a meter deep and a meter wide.

She knew it was only a matter of time before this had to end. And then what? When she was able to catch an hour or two of sleep, she dreamed of angry mobs of people, chasing her.

Mystia had to sneak out of this situation somehow. After giving the matter some thought, she decided she would again ask for Rinnosuke's help. Only this time, to tell people that the sand was all finished, and that was that. Mystia would lay low for a while, and try to come up with another idea. The matter decided, she made off for Rinnosuke's. Being human, Mystia reckoned he lived in the human village.

On the outskirts of the village, early in the evening, Mystia moved furtively behind the trees, eyeing up the houses and shops for any sign of Rinnosuke. She didn't see him, and couldn't read any of the signs. She made her way into the village center, looking around.

?There she is!? a voice called from behind her. She spun around, startled, and saw five men standing in front of a noodle stand.

?That's the youkai I was telling you about,? said one of the men to the others. ?The one who sold me that sand that got rid of my bad back.? They looked at her, impressed, and began to approach.

?Where's it come from?? asked one of the men.

Mystia laughed nervously. ?It's a trade secret, ha. Sorry.?

?Come on,? said another. ?Tell us. It's not fair. Why should you be the only one to know??

?Yeah,? the one with the bad back added, his tone hardening a little. ?Who are you to stand in the way? People get sick, you know.?

Mystia could feel her heart pounding. If she ran, she knew the whole village would be after her within minutes. Her eyes darted around.

?OK, a- alright!? she stammered. ?Listen, it's ? it's just regular sand.?

The men stopped. A stray dog barked somewhere.

?What do you mean?? asked the man with the bad back, his eyes cold. They began to approach her again. Mystia could feel her wings beginning to tense up for flight. Fear pounded in her veins.

Marisa stepped up from behind Mystia. ?She uses special youkai powers,? the magician said. Mystia turned, looking up at her with a pleading expression.

The men stopped. ?Youkai powers?? asked one.

?Yep,? confirmed Marisa with a nod. ?She takes ordinary sand, holds it, and shines her special magic youkai power light into it, and just like that ? it's magic sand.?

The men appeared incredulous for a moment. Marisa leaned against her broom, smiling. Mystia could feel her stomach trying to curl up into a tiny ball.

?Oh,? said one of the men at last, cautiously. ?I ? don't really know anything about youkai. But you know your stuff, so ?? Mystia could feel every nerve in her body relax. She looked at Marisa. The magician really did have a good heart after all. A smile grew across the sparrow's face. The man reached into his pocket, taking out an iron key, he held it out to Mystia. ?Show us.?

Mystia looked at the key, then looked at him. ?Excuse me??

?Make the key magic,? he said matter-of-factly. ?Make it do what the sand does.?

Marisa put a hand on Mystia's shoulder. ?Well, night sparrow, this bird's gotta fly.? She mounted her broom. ?You have a really, really good evening, hear? See ya!?

Mystia watched as Marisa zipped off into the sky. She turned back to the man with the key. Marisa Kirisame, Mystia thought, reaching for the key, I will get you for this. 

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Nat Tea

  • ★三 ☆三 ★三 ☆三 ★三
  • 三☆ 三★ 三☆ 三★ 三☆
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2010, 04:43:11 AM »
Spoiler:
Because Ragnarok Syndrome's Yamame is so lovely.
Spoiler:
my god i am so freaking terrible

--

"Hello there!"

Kisume bounced around while greeting the customer.

"Don't do that, you're going to scare the customer, you know." Yamame said. "Anyways, as she said, greetings."

"Are you really sure you're a professional?" The youkai looked on in doubt. The cabinets around the cave that Yamame lived in were wide open, the countertops were scattered with items, and the atmosphere itself was a bit dreary. You could hear the wind whistling around the place.  "Also, your friend seems a bit delusional."

"Not really, that's how she's like."

Kisume pouted at Yamame's remark. "Hey, that's not funny!"

"I know, I know, but she's right though, you are a bit hyper at times." Yamame clasped her hands together. "Well, shall we begin?"

The youkai rolled its eyes. "Are you going to do any funny business? I mean, I didn't want to go here but I had no choice, this pain is killing me!"

Yamame waved her hand around at the question. "It's the rumors, isn't it? I hope you're not crazy enough to believe everything."

"Who else am I to believe?"

A motion of a hand towards the youkai. "Yourself, of course."

The youkai crossed its arms. "Maybe those rumors are true..."

Yamame then stretched herself out and slid a chair into the area. "Here, have a seat."

Suddenly, the youkai groans in pain. "Owwww. Yeah, whatever!" Nonetheless, she sits down.

"I assume it's getting worse now then." Yamame snapped her fingers. "Kisume, lights!"

"Yes, Master!" The cable on the bucket moved around as Kisume positioned herself above the patient. She grabs a lantern and shows Yamame the youkai, brightly glowing and waiting to be cured.

"So," Yamame continued. "have you heard about my ability as a witch doctor yet?"

The youkai shook its head. "No, I've heard how much of a freak you are though."

"Typical of them. They just think that my ability would be used to cause people suffering." Yamame shrugged. "It can also be used to cure those as well. The stilted views of those who are pessimistic to living."

"Your ability is the manipulation of disease, is it not?"

"It is so." She got herself ready. "Now, enough talk, I just have to examine you closely."

"Alright then." The youkai sighed. "How are you so calm if everyone thinks you're a monster?"

"That's easy. You just have to know that they don't know the truth. The truth is that I know what I can do and nothing should stop me from helping people." Yamame continued meticulously. "Isn't that right, Kisume?"

Kisume smiled. "That's correct, master. You're a really lovely person to be around!"

A turn to the right. "Are you trying to make me feel guilty or something?"

"Not at all. It's the truth, that's all." Behind the youkai, Yamame patted its back. "By the way, I'm done with the examination." She walked to the back (in front of the youkai) and grabbed a glass jar out of one of the open cabinets.

"Alright, it's time for the treatment!" She announced.

Kisume puts the lantern back and hangs around Yamame's side. "Don't worry, it won't hurt a bit!"

The youkai still looked worried. "Yeah right, like it won't."

Yamame got the jar ready. "Too late, here I go!"

The wind flowed throughout the area, making a noise that blocked everything out, both in physical and mental sound. Immediately, Yamame closed the jar.

"Okay, you're done. Try moving now." Yamame grinned.

The youkai stood up and stretched itself. "...Wow. How is this... possible? I'm feeling a lot better."

Yamame placed her hand on her hip, the other hand holding the jar. "You could say it's magic."

"I guess the things people have said about you are wrong after all."

"You thought I was lying? Why would I? Anyways, you're feeling better now, right? You should get going."

Kisume moved left and right while waving. "Goodbye, mister!"

The customer walked out of the cave, happier when he left than when he entered.

...

Yamame put down the sealed glass jar, sat down and slumped over. Her eyes lost the excitement of being successful at yet another operation.

"What's wrong, master?" Kisume asked her.

"...Kisume. Do you know why diseases exist?"

"So you can have a job?"

Yamame got up and rubbed Kisume on the head. "No, silly! That's not exactly why." She once again sat down except she stayed up this time.

"Hehehe, that felt nice..." Kisume giggled. "But master, if it's not that, then what is the reason?"

Yamame skimmed across the solid jars, some standing upright and others toppled over. She keeps the sort of jar that's flat on all sides but the lid so that they don't roll over and break. "There's a pretty good reason, really..." She bowed her head down.

"...Master? What's wrong?"

"Disease is a necessary evil."

"Evil? I mean, it does destroy the people that others love, but why is it... necessary?"

"It's a regulator. It keeps the population in check. It's a cycle of life that I am tangling with. It has the ability to kill as well as protect."

"How can a disease protect someone if it is evil? Isn't that disagreeing with itself? That doesn't make sense!"

"I've heard that the human body can find the power to stand itself against the elements of any threat. The only problem is..." Yamame picked up the jar on her side. "preparation."

"That sounds like an amazing power!"

"It is, but only in theory. I've never seen it actually happen before, so I don't know it from experience." She put the jar down again. "I feel guilty..."

"Of what, master? I might be able to help!"

"...of myself."

"...huh?"

"Am I a necessary evil? Someone that everyone has to hate because they cannot face the unknown?"

Kisume was in tears at this point. "No, you're not, master! Don't think that way!"

Yamame stood up, grabbed the jar from the floor, and placed it in one of the numerous cabinets in the location. "...I guess you're right. I should feel more confident about myself." She then went over and gave Kisume a pat on the head.

Kisume rubbed her eyes. "Hey, Yamame!"

"Hmm? Is there something?"

"A letter!"

Yamame turned around and saw the white envelope sitting on her desk. "It doesn't look like it was from the customer."

She picked open the envelope and popped out the message.

"Hey..." Yamame read it intently. "It's from Koishi. She wants me to do something for her."

"That's interesting! She doesn't usually ask for favors at all!"

"She wants me to get ready. I'm going with her to visit a patient in the city."

"Awww, what? I want to go with you!"

"It's okay, Kisume." Another rubbing of Kisume's hair. "I think I should do this alone, for once."


...Besides,

we have to face our fears sometimes.
Horie dorie~
Pixiv: http://pixiv.me/choja / PSO2: Choja (Ship5) / 3DS: 3496-9942-9472 / PSVITA: choja206 (English) / chojahiragawajpn (Japanese) / Cosplays: Koishi Komeiji, Kogasa Tatara
Tumblr contains cooking and cosplay. Twitter contains me retweeting everything.
I draw but I do not use artist title. I also write, but I have been inactive lately. I want to get better at those things and more!

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #21 on: February 28, 2010, 11:58:47 AM »
In less than 24 hours, entries will be closed~ That said, I do like submitting my own just for the hell of it. What am I still doing awake at 4:57 AM asdf

Note: For some reason, I do not have my copies of the SSiB chapters handy, so the chapter sources Akyu uses are arbitrary at best.

-----

Patchouli, Remilia, and Flandre sat in the main living room of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, around a round table which had stacks of Bunbunmaru newspapers on it. Sakuya stood by her mistress' side, Koakuma by Patchouli's, and Meiling, who had been invited in for the evening while a fairy patrol took care of the gate outside, brought newspaper after newspaper to Flandre, who was having a great time reading off the headlines.

Flandre scanned another newspaper article, her grin widening as she looked it over. "Ah, yay, this one's about my sister and the rocket!"

"Ugh, it must be another review of that damnable SSiB book Akyu published," Remilia scowled. She propped her legs up on the tabletop, forcibly displacing a stack of articles. She smirked.

"SSiB Review: Scarlet moon project goes off with a bang, ends in a whimper," Flandre read, enunciating each word as she went through the complex syllables. "Brilliant idea to invade the moon ruined by last minute descent into Gensokyo pro... propa... Patchurry-sensei, what does this word mean?"

"Patchouli," the librarian corrected as Flandre handed her the newspaper. She pulled up her glasses from the collar of her nightrobe and put them on the bridge of her nose, and looked at the article. "Propagandizing, Flandre. Oh my, my, my my my..." She said with amusement as she read through it some more. "This is interesting."

Koakuma looked over Patchouli's shoulder as she read, her long red hair falling onto the librarian's shoulder.

"--while Watatsuki no Yorihime and Watatsuki no Toyohime were the two standout characters in SSiB, the others weren't quite so lucky, though not through lack of trying. While Chapters One through Three stood out well due to their ensemble casts, Chapter Four fell flat on its face due to an exaggerated focus on Remilia Scarlet, beginning the downward spiral of Silent Sinner in Blue..."

Remilia looked over at her friend. Behind her, Sakuya, who had been absorbed in the deep and studious contemplation of her own navel, suddenly looked up and took notice of what Patchouli was saying.

"... quite simply, Remilia Scarlet is a writer's nightmare... a black hole of personality, shining only when played off her opposite number, Flandre Scarlet..."

"What?!" Remilia exclaimed.

Patchouli snickered quietly as she continued to read. "Chapter eight was a fantastic failure because the writer, obviously aware that one of the main characters had no real persona of which to speak, took the desperate gamble of putting her in a strenuous situation by shutting her up inside the moon rocket. But one childish outburst and several amusing attempts at giving her personality quirks later, we can see that the experiment was a miserable failure--"

Remilia's eyes narrowed.

"--'the poor little rich vampire girl' schtick just isn't working for Remilia. Yorihime has a well-defined set of interests extrapolated from Lunarian society at large and a good deal of mystery behind her. Reimu has several quirks that make sense given her lazy persona as defined by the games. Toyohime has peach moe. Unfortunately, it seems the writer's plans blew up in his face when he decided to put Remilia in the moon rocket instead of Cirno. Her brand of elite nosewrinkling isn't going to play very well in later chapters, this reviewer can assure you. The author has tried to keep everyone close to their characters as he defined them in the original games, but doing so in Remilia's case would mean having to write '...' every time she opens her mouth--"

"I see," Remilia scowled. "This reviewer apparently fails to understand the depth of--"

"--my charisma," Koakuma, Patchouli, Sakuya, and Meiling intoned all at once.

"I am not predictable!" Remilia cried. "I'm a full, rich, complex, individual with feelings, needs and desires! They're just held deep beneath the surface!"

"By my estimation you'd need roughly three hundred years of deep regressive hypnotherapy to unearth anything in there that even remotely resembles a true persona," Patchouli observed.

"Oh?!" Remilia asked, indignant. "And what about you? Without your precious little quotations, or catness levels, or amused observances, or strange hikikomori-like tendencies, where whould you be?"

"Where you are. A void, a sad nullity." Patchouli chuckled as Remilia stewed.

"Face it, Remilia-sama," Koakuma said innocently, "all you do is suck blood, throw Spear the Gungnir, and fiddle with your hands a lot. That's it."

Remilia looked down at her hands and stopped fiddling with them. She sighed.

"... Patche, would that work?" she asked after a moment's pause.

Her contrary best friend blinked. "Hm?"

"Deep regressive hypnotherapy."

Patchouli looked stunned for a moment. "While I did mean that as a joke, I do agree that some therapy might be in order."

"The more I think about it..." Remilia sighed and looked at her cheery sister. "I really do play off of her a lot for my own personality. Maybe I do need to establish a separate identity..."

"Hypno... hmmm... Koa, what was the name of that one card in the Grimoire of Maris--"

"Recollection 'Terrifying Hypnotism'," Koakuma replied before Patchouli could even finish.

"Yes, exactly." The librarian nodded, pleased. "And where did she live, again?"

-----

And so it came to pass that Remilia Scarlet ended up in front of a door above which hung a sign with the words "Doctor Komeiji's Psychiatric Clinic of the Earth Spirits - No disembodied spirits please" written on it. She was somewhat embarrassed to be seen down here, but no one she knew up on the surface would come down here unless they absolutely needed to. So with that assurance, she gathered her courage and stepped in.

There was no one in the clinic except for a white-haired girl in a green-yellow ensemble that wasn't particularly appealing to the eyes, with a white lab coat thrown over her shoulders, sitting on a comfortable plush chair. She was wearing nothing on her head-- notable, when you came from a surface world with poofy hats everywhere. She must be a nurse, the doctor's assistant.

"Pardon me, is Doctor Komeiji in?" she asked, being as ladylike as she could.

The girl looked up.

"It's lupus," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Er... what?" Remilia asked.

"Ah, I guess that can wait. I'm Koishi Komeiji!" She sprang up onto her feet and went to shake Remilia's hand. "It's lupus!"

"What's lupus?" Remilia asked again.

"Come in, come in!" Koishi said, completely ignoring her. "Take a seat! It's lupus, Remilia!"

"Wh-- Remilia? I didn't tell you my name!" Remilia demanded, taking a seat on the low couch next to the chair Koishi was sitting in.

Koishi waved it off. "It's written all over your subconcious."

The vampire girl pondered this for a moment.

"Oh, and it's lupus."

"Eh?" Remilia asked.

"Aw, you don't get it," Koishi complained. "Oh well, I guess we can do this the normal way. Lie down for me, please," she said, getting up and straightening her labcoat as she went to a desk and grabbed a clipboard. Remilia lay down, noting the short length of Koishi's skirt. Those were some rather nice legs she had there.

She sighed and shook her head, clearing it of those thoughts. She was here for a psychological evaluation, first and foremost, and the famed Doctor Komeiji had treated untold numbers of patients in the past, helping them get over anxieties, traumas, and helping them move on with their lives. She wondered what deep, complex question Doctor Komeiji would ask first.

"Do you have money?" the white-haired girl asked.

"... what the hell kind of first question is THAT?" Remilia snapped.

"I guess not," Koishi sighed, putting her clipboard to her side.

Remilia rolled her eyes. "I practically roll in wealth up on the surface."

"Oh, great!" Koishi clicked open a pen and started writing with enthusiasm. "So, what would you like to know? Well, other than the lupus."

"It's not lupus," the vampire replied, trying to keep her cool. "I'm just unsure about my identity these days."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, let me explain. Up on the surface, I'm known for being very charismatic. A leader, if you will. But I don't have any of the defining traits, really. I'm not terribly sociable. Everyone just knows me through my sister these days. I'm sick of being transparent, doctor."

Koishi hmmed as she wrote something down. "And how does that make you feel?"

"Invisible," Remilia replied without hesitation. "I want to be seen for the real me, not as Flandre Scarlet's sister."

"Even if the real you has lupus?"

"What IS it with you and this lupus thing?!" The vampire snapped, baring her fangs.

But Koishi grinned. "It's my quirk!"

"Your... what?"

"You know, personality quirk. Something you just do. Your subconcious is in desperate need of a quirk, Remi!"

"It... is?" Remilia asked, not objecting to the nickname.

Koishi nodded excitedly and turned her clipboard around for Remilia to see it. "It's a list of personality quirks. I think you'd get a huge kick out of trying a few of them to distinguish yourself from your sister!"

"Let's see..." Remilia's eyes narrowed as she looked at the list. "Corrects people when they use colloquial speech... sings songs quietly to herself... Makes up random lies about unimportant things for no reason... Takes stupid bets/dares for small amounts of money... has come to terms with her Jewish heritage?"

"We put that in for the kasha around here." Koishi handwaved it.

"Writes with left hand, but does everything else right-handed... cannot stop talking about lupus... Is an incessant fidgeter and is always touching his or her face or head..." Remilia looked down at her fidgeting hands and kept them apart. "Is susceptible to malapropisms or spoonerisms?"

"Ah! Malaprops are fun!" Koishi giggled. "They're the very pineapple of hilarity!"

"Pinnacle?" Remilia corrected.

"Yes, exactly! Try your own!"

"Er..." The vampire racked her brain. "Uh... I dissolve to pick a quirk."

"Resolve! Good one!"

"I will reiterate my enemies," Remilia continued.

"Obliterate! Even better!"

"Love is a very splendid fling... Love falls when you trust a shrew!" Remilia said, butchering the quotes.

"I read those in a book once! Love is a many-splendoured thing, and Love all, trust a few! You're really getting the hang of this, Remi!"

"Hehehe, this is great! Things are gonna get spicy soon!" Remilia laughed, already feeling more confident in herself. "The car is die cast!"

"The die is indeed cast!" Koishi stood, clapping. "Well done, well done!"

"I'll get out of your flair for now," the vampire chuckled, accepting Koishi's clipboard. "You can send me for the hills later!"

"I'll send you my bills later!" Koishi interpreted correctly.

"Hahaha! No one will be able to reprehend what I say! My feminine wilds are greater than everyone else's COMBINED!" Remilia laughed aloud. "Thanks so much, Proctor Komeiji! I'll be on my way home, then!"

"All right, have a nice trip~" Koishi laughed and waved as Remilia left, and just in time-- Satori stormed in through the back to confront her sister.

"Koishi, stop walking in on my patients!" she complained.

"Aww, but it's so funny to make them do stuff like that~ All it needs is a constantly repeated phrase and a little bit of tweaking in the head and they walk away happier than ever~"

"Let me guess. The lupus line, over and over again."

Koishi grinned.

Satori ruffled her giggling sister's hair. "Oh, you silly little girl, how I love you so~"



And the judging should take place in a few hours~ Judges, take this as your cue to get reading!

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #22 on: March 01, 2010, 08:51:21 AM »
Once more, weekly judgment comes to pass! Our judges, who were Chaore, Sakana, and I, have come to majority decision. (They also learned that if they see that there will be more entries than usual, then they shouldn't delay reading them until the last minute. I'm not naming any names, but his initials are Sakana Katana.)

In any case! The winner of this week's contest is--

...

...

... I'm taking too long to get to the results?

... :suwakodwi:

Iced Fairy, for the second week in a row, and not through lack of competition! (I swear, at this rate, our judges are going to become predictable.) As one of the judges said, Iced's stories tend to have a good sense of humor and satisfying, comedic endings. Enjoy keeping your SM rank-- but again, don't get too comfortable >:D

Honorable mentions go to Ammy and Choja: in the words of another judge, your stories were both kind of like fables with a moral-- at least, that's the vibe they gave off.

Well done, everyone! Your submissions are all very much encouraged and appreciated; your hard work makes Patchouli's Scarlet Library more interesting by the day! Not winning SM any given week is no mark of shame when you all have an equal shot at it every week! Speaking of: here's this week's writing challenge, from the mind of yours truly:

March 1, 2010: Magical Girl Lyrical Prismriver
Again, Lyrica's name is just for flavor. In this week's writing challenge, you must involve at least one of the Touhou characters as a magical girl. This means: henshin transformation sequence, called attacks, magical rod, power-up music, *SPARKLES*, the works! Bonus points for a sentai!

Have fun writing, folks!

And on a related note: I've been throwing out nothing but comedic challenges so far, but depending on feedback, I'm more than willing to make next week's challenge a serious one. Will that suit you guys just fine?

Tengukami

  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2010, 01:11:59 PM »
Congratulations, IcedFairy! Well done and well deserved.

I'm down with going into other genres. Think it would be a fine challenge.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Forte Blackadder

  • 雲龍九現
  • Thi?n Giả L?ng Y?u
    • FaceBook
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #24 on: March 01, 2010, 04:47:44 PM »
Gz, Iced Fairy, wish you get a hat-trick !

====================================

"So, this is the third victim..." Aya bitterly looks at the paper, which happens to be an autopsy. It clearly states that Kirisame Marisa had died, her body was teared by half by an unknown reason. Standing beside her, none other than the sage of the Moon, Yagokoro Eirin is folding her arms, staring at the news reporter.

"The murder happened to be exactly the same as Kochiya Sanae and Kawashiro Nitori's cases. I guess the culprit is a wild beast youkai. Judge by their bodies, there is no other possibility, unless we have a cannibal in Gensokyo." Eirin says, she was the one who examined the bodies. Her skills are already recognized so her words speak the truth.

"No way, if there is I'd know." Aya denies. "The victims didn't have anything in common, their relationship wasn't any complex either. I tried to investigate but it seems no one had a grudge against Sanae and Nitori, Marisa can be annoying sometimes, but I don't think anyone would want to kill her like that."

"Not to mention she is quite powerful." Eirin adds. The murders first happened in the Youkai Forest, where Nitori got ripped. According to the examination, she was much terrified at the time, led to paralyzing and couldn't run or take any action. It was quite a scoop, and as the scene was in Youkai Forest, Kochiya Sanae did her best to find the culprit, and got herself killed in the same manner.

"The goddesses are now furious. They are literally turning the whole forest up to find the murderer. They demanded us to help also, not that I don't want it, but it's very scary to be with them at the moment. Just a careless move and they would destroy us all." Aya sighs. She knew the priestess was a close family of them, so she isn't surprised to see lady Kanako and lady Suwako in vain. She must be the same if Momiji dies...

"Please be careful, I know the Moriya's Goddesses are strong, but since the culprit is unknown, even them maybe in danger." Eirin tries to comfort Aya, and advise her. "I still stick with the theory that the culprit is a wild beast youkai. All of the murders happened outdoors, and in a forest. Let's review, Sanae and Nitori were killed in Youkai forest, whereas Marisa was killed in Magic forest. I believe it'd be best if you guys try to investigate those forests at night, in groups."

"Yes, that's wise, miss Eirin. I'll do tha..."

"MASTER!"

The moon rabbit, Inaba Udongein Reisen, rushes in the room. She looks panicked and her face is pale. "Master, I... I just found her... Tewi died!" She cries.

The two look at Reisen, and without a word they run out of Eientei. On the yard, surrounding by rabbits is Inaba Tewi. The little figure is ragged and covered in blood, as if she got chewed by a big tiger or something. Eirin quickly gets Tewi up and brings her inside, while Aya goes asking the rabbits about what they know.

"We found her in there." They talk in tears, pointing at the bamboo forest. "We were so scared, we screamed and told Reisen-sama."

The fourth victim right after the death of Marisa. Not to mention it is Tewi, the luckiest being in Gensokyo! What on earth is happening? Thinking it's pointless to wait for the new autopsy, Aya flies through the forest to investigate.
She then finds Fujiwara no Mokou, an immortal individual that's supposed to be living here. Mokou looks tired, and her clothes are teared out. Is there a chance she met the murderer?

"Excuse me, miss Fujiwara!" Aya lands in front of Mokou. "I think you already knew, Inaba Tewi just got killed. Here."

Mokou startled a bit, but then quickly stands up and looks at Aya. "Really? Is it the same as the others? You said we're having a serial killer around."

"Yes, so I'm wondering if you saw any..."

"No, I didn't see anything!" Mokou instantly replies.

Thinking it's a bit strange, Aya keeps pushing. "Is that so? You don't look good, though. Miss Fujiwara, this is quite serious. The Moriya Goddesses are very mad, and with Marisa, Tewi's deaths I believe the red-white miko and miss Yagokoro will jump in. If you know anything, please tell me before Gensokyo habitat get destroyed."

"...It can't be that bad..." Mokou mutters. She is looking down and sweating bullets.

"It can and it will. You know how close they all are, I believe they will definitely dig up the land to find the murderer, and they won't stop until they do."

"..."

"Please, miss Fujiwara."

"I... I tried to stop it, too." Mokou says so quietly it's like the sound of a wind.

"What? What is it?

"The snake... I found it sealed in a cave. I thought it'd be nice to scare Kaguya shitless, so I unsealed it... But... It is so strong..."

"What snake? Why do I not know about such a creature in Gensokyo?"

"It was in the bottom of the youkai mountain... It... it is Yamato no Orochi." Mokou turns her face, looks like she's crying.

"What? You unsealed Orochi?" Aya shouts. First, everyone knows about Yamato no Orochi. It is the strongest youkai that once waged war on Japan. After destroying most land, left behind hell everywhere it went, the Snake was defeated and sealed by god Susanoo. Secondly, such being cannot be sealed normally, so Susanoo decided to buried the snake deep down in a holy land, where none can reach. Aya had no idea that land was Gensokyo.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know, I thought it was just some youkai sealed by people..."

"I... I see, this is even worse than I expected. Please inform miss Yagokoro right away. I'll find the sage." Aya turns immediately and flies up to the sky. If Orochi is revived and lurking around, none can be safe. Even the Moriya's goddesses may not be its match. Therefore, the only person she can look for is the strongest, absolute being in the land.

"Miss Yakumo, are you home?" she shouts as soon as she sets foot on the Gensokyo outskirt. The house of Yakumo Yukari is quiet as always. Aya just came here once or twice, to interview the family for some trivial matter to fill in her news. But she will never forget the calm air covering this place.

"Yes? Oh, if it isn't miss reporter." A woman opens the door. She is tall, refined and beautiful with nine golden fox tails.

"Good afternoon, miss Ran. There is some serious problem, I need to meet miss Yukari as soon as possible."

"Sorry, miss reporter." Ran speaks calmly. "Lady Yukari is not home."

"What?"

"Yesterday, she brought a friend. After a joyful conversation they went to the outside world."

Yukari? Friend? Outside world? A picture of a dumb-looking ghost in pink flashes in Aya's head. It can't be helped, then. She let out a big sigh. "Very well... so miss Saijyougi and miss Yukari went to the outside world... maybe I'll go ask another one." The ghost is in the netherworld, so even if she's here she won't be able to help. If Yukari went away then the only person left that's powerful enough to defeat Orochi... must be the flower youkai.

"Ah, no, no, not miss Yuyuko. The friend I was talking about was miss Kazami Yuka." Ran happily says. "They were very close, I didn't know there is a person that can have such a good chat with lady Yukari."

"Ehhhhhhh!? Kazami Yuka? You mean... they both went outside?"

"Yes, that is the case." Ran nods.

Aya drops on her knees. Great, Yakumo Yukari, you went on a vacation in such a time, and you even took Kazami Yuka with you.

'What's it? You look terrible."

Aya tells Ran everything that's been happening. The fox's eyes lit up a burning fire. And she suddenly becomes much serious. "I understand. I'll help." She says "Even if now I'm not as strong as I was, nor as powerful as when lady Yukari is around, but protecting Gensokyo is always the Yakumo's duty. Not to mention... this is Orochi."

=========

The snake, Yamato no Orochi, which is now as big as a hill, is wrapping a golden fox and gushing toxic around. The rain god, Yasaka Kanako is covered in blood, tightly holding the frog god, Moriya Suwako, in her arms on a side. They are defeated.

The miko, Hakurei Reimu, is trying her best to enchant a purify spell, healing herself. But Orochi loosens its body and release Yakumo Ran, then twists and throw the fox at the miko. Reimu cannot move an inch, and take the impact. Her body flies up like a ragged doll, before the miko crash into the ground, Aya quickly catch her.

Is it over? The fate of Gensokyo... is this the end?

"What art thou doing?"

Aya turns around, up on the sky, are the hostess of the Scarlet Devil Mansion Remilia Scarlet, the hostess of Eientei Houraisan Kaguya, and the immortal Fujiwara no Mokou. And in front of them, highly, mighty looking down at the scene, the Judge of Hell Court, the sole being whom even gods need to listen to, Yamaxanadu Shiki Eiki.

"I heard from the princesses. And this girl hath confessed her sin." The Enma takes a glance at Mokou, who is closing her eyes, bowing down. "Very well, I shalt lend thou my power."

The Enma slowly takes a card from her pocket, then flips it into thin air. An light comes out, so bright that makes Orochi shrugs and back off a bit. Within the light, a magic circle is drawn, the circle is a big as an adult, with many Hebrew words on it. It then moves to in front of the Enma.

"Henshin." Shiki simply chants.

She then elegantly jumps through the magic circle. The light shines even brighter, yet less tense so everyone can see what's happening: As Shiki moving through, her clothes are changing, from the dark blue-ish sleeved judge blazer to bright pink, sleeveless, short skirt with thigh-highs stocks. She looks like a magician girl you can see from some anime, exposing her bare shoulders, arms and thighs, holding the Rod of the Death in her right hand when spinning slowly in the sparkling light. Shiki is no more Judge of Hell.

"Justice Magical Girl... appears!" she shouts, rises her rod into the sky. Quickly brings out another card, Shiki throws it into Orochi that is crawling confusedly on the ground.

"Judgement: Bar of the Ten Kings!"

The bullet rain pours down onto the snake, trapping it inside and helplessly struggles to escape. However, with ten kinds of danmaku shooting one after another without delay, the snake soon gives up and does nothing but receiving such power befalling upon.

"Thy punishment shalt be kept until the verdict is told." the magical girl points at the monster. Aya doesn't know if Orochi is shut up or its voice merely cannot be heard in the sound of danmaku. However, she knows for sure that it's being weakened fast. Most impressed, the reporter looks at the Enma, or the Magical girl. Well, even if she looks cute and all, but her face still bears the seriousness and her eyes cast a cold glance at the snake, which caused Gensokyo such fear in the last five days.

"I hast seen thy fate, and thy acts, Yamato no Orochi. It is unfortunate, yet thy crime cannot be unseen." Shiki speaks in a collected voice. "Thou hath sinned."

And thus, the sky is fast covered by darkness. The winds go wild and the clouds make an spiral above the snake.

Guilty, the word is spoken.
Orochi wails for mercy, yet verdicts are not to be lightly taken.
The lighting of judgment befalls, upon the monster that once feared.
As time pass by, it took lives of people's dears.
And now it cries, but can the stains be cleared?


=========

Aya is flying around in Gensokyo's sky. She heard that Yakumo Yukari got a scold from lady Shikieiki for not taking her duty seriously. Finally, thanks to Saigyouji Yuyuko and Shikieiki herself, the souls of everyone who died have returned, and Yagokoro Eirin is doing her best to recover their bodies. Fujiwara no Mokou also have to help in Eientei since everything can be considered her fault, but the Moon princess doesn't look like she's going to mock Mokou for this.

Aaaaanyway. The Bunbunmaru newspaper today is featuring the biggest scoop ever: Yamato no Orochi, the Evil Youkai revived? No, it's 2nd page's story... The front is covered with a huge picture of a cold, yet cute, magician girl in pink, labeled with Comic Sans MS size 36:
"The side job of lady Yamaxanadu Shiki Eiki: Magical Girl of Justice"

This will sell, Aya just knows it.

====================================

This is my first time trying to speak Biblical English, please tell me if anything's wrong :D
And it's not a comedy ~
//I had the feeling that MoTK loves Shiki, so yeah :D
« Last Edit: March 01, 2010, 05:33:38 PM by Fortevn »

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #25 on: March 01, 2010, 05:18:09 PM »
The side job of lady Yamaxanadu Shiki Eiki: Magical Girl of Justice

I hope no one seriously expects me to be impartial after seeing this. >:D

Chaore

  • Kai Ni Recipient Many Years Late
  • *
  • You Finally Did It, Kadokawa.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #26 on: March 01, 2010, 08:08:16 PM »
I hope no one seriously expects me to be impartial after seeing this. >:D

Well, luckily we have two other judges. :V

IcedFairy

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #27 on: March 02, 2010, 02:22:02 AM »
Well, luckily we have two other judges. :V
Well playing to the judges is a time honored tradition.

Not that I've got anything planned along those lines.   >:D

Though it's quite possible the time limit will kill me.  I've got too big an idea...  Ah well, best start writing now.

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #28 on: March 03, 2010, 07:58:48 PM »
No idea, why the fuck I'm doing this but...

=========

Utusho and Rin stood before a pit, the hell raven having discovered it whilst she was randomly digging through her underground home. Normally, the both of them would have overlooked this as any other pit that led deeper underground and left it alone, however the curious scenery that appeared to be ancient ruins surrounding the pit itself was what managed to rouse their interest. Rin, however, had this persistant feeling that the both of them should have never even considered stepping into these ruins, but Utusho insisted that nothing bad would happen and the two of them entered without incident, but now...staring down the near endless pit of darkness...Rin wasn't so sure that they should remain here. "Okuu..." The kasha spoke up, killing the silence that hung around them. "I really think we should leave before something happens...I have a bad feeling about this place..." Rin took another look around the dimly lit temple, the ghostly skulls of fire that hovered around her, granting some illumination in the otherwise pitch black crypt.

The walls surrounding the underground youkai were lined with glyphics that were in some other languge, one that surely was not japanese...or even looked earthly for that matter. On top of that, there was this...smell that lingered in the already musty cavity of earth they stood in. The scent reeked of something foul, and yet the exact source of the scent still remained drowned in the sea of unknown...

"What are you worried about, Orin?" Utusho replied, really finding no reason for the kasha to be afraid of something so trivial as a pit. "S'just a hole in the ground."

"Yeah, I know THAT." Rin rolled her eyes at her avian friend restating of the obvious. "It's what's in it that has me a little scared..."

"Ah, you worry too much," Utusho shook her head, spreading her raven wings and stepping forward over the pit, her curiosity was compelling her to venture into the dark depths and find out what was hiding out at the bottom. Rin can be reluctant and afraid all she wants, but for Utusho, she was going to move forward anyhow. "I'm going to go check it out, you wanna come along?"

"What, You're actually going down there?" Rin stared at the raven with her eyes swollen with surprise.

"Well...yeah," Utusho shrugged. "I mean...if we wanna know what's down there we gotta find out ourselves...it's not like-"

Those words would be last Rin would ever hear of Utusho. With blinding speed, something shot up from the pit below and grabbed the raven's throat, it's constricting hold killing the remainder of her sentance as it dragged her down into the darkness below. Rin yowled like any spooked cat would, the shock of what she saw sending her falling back on her bottom. The kasha's pupils dialated at what she just witnessed.

"Okuu!" Rin screamed running to the edge of the pit and frantically looking around to find any sign of her friend. "Okuu, are you alright, s-say something!" Rin yelled out into the pit, her calls being replied to with an echo followed by a discouraging silence. Rin's frantically scanned every inch of the hole, hoping to find some trace of Utusho. Unfortunately, all the kasha could find was the darkness ad infinitum that seemed so deep, so vast, that it even managed to stare right back at her. The fact that Rin could actually see something staring back into her eyes was enough to get her to jump back from the pit the moment she realized it.

The kasha remained in silence, her heart pounding in her chest and her body quivering with fear as her mind worked in overdrive with what to do to save Utusho. Suddenly, a scream pierced through the once silent temple. It was the scream of Utusho. A scream that oozed of unspeakable amounts of agony, the blood curdling resonance of flesh being rended rising from the pit combined with another sound that was just...inhuman. Rin's mind just couldn't comprehend what the other sound was, it was something so horrifying, so...eldritch, that it nearly caused her to lose control of her bodily fucntions just thinking about what it could actually belong to.

"O-Okuu, I'm going to get, Satori-sama!" Rin shouted down the pit, the screams of the hell raven still echoing from the black void below. "Hold on, I'll be right back!"

-------

"And you say something pulled Okuu down into the pit?" Satori inquired, trying to make sense of what had rowled up her pet. Of course, it's not like she didn't believe her, with Utusho in apparent danger there's no reason to dismiss this distress call from her kasha. The both of them now stood in the same spot that Utusho and Rin were before, Satori's sleepy eyes gazing forward into the lone pit in front of her. The temple was silent now, not a single sound rose from the pit, to let them know if Utusho was alive or dead...something that deeply worried Rin.

"Y-yes...I...I told her we shouldn't have entered but..." Rin gulped down a lump in her throat as she bit her lip, finding herself at fault for the possible death of her friend. It was happening again...just like before when Utusho got that strange power...she should have informed Satori to begin with. Maybe...just maybe none of this would have happened.

"Don't blame yourself, Orin." Satori reassured the kasha, her third eye reading the thoughts and feelings of the kasha. "We'll find Okuu, and I'm sure she's be okay." In reality, Satori wasn't sure that Utusho was really okay or not...if Rin claimed she was screaming in pain and now said screaming had ceased, then it was obvious that either she was dead or was unconcious and whatever it is that attacked her had left her alone.

"Utusho is dead."

Satori and Rin turned their gaze to the pit, the supposed source of the voice that suddenly rose from the abyss. Satori stepped forward, knowing who's voice that was...

"Koishi?" Satori said, as she edged closer to the pit. "Koishi is that you...?" Satori repeated, in an attempt to send a message to her younger sister to see what exactly was going on down in the depths of the pit...

The message Satori got back in response, however...

SPLAT

Satori's head suddenly burst in a spectacular fountain of gore and brain matter, her girlish form thrown back as if it had taken a shot from a loaded shotgun at point blank range. The satori's corpse landed in front of Rin, twitching with the last remaining sparks of life it had left that pulsed within it, her third eye practically following in the head's shadow by rupturing in a more petite explosion of blood after the pupil rolled around in hysteria for several seconds. Satori had made a grave mistake in even trying to communicate with something that destroys feeble minds such as hers...

Rin stared at the headless body of her former master, completely frozen in a state of disbelief of what just exploded all over the walls and on her dress. "S-Satori-sama..." Rin choked, as she took a single step toward the no motionless body. First Utusho...now Satori...who, no...WHAT would do such a thing? Why was it doing this? All Rin could do is ask questions, but none of them were satisfied with the answers she needed. The kasha ears twitched, suddenly picking up the wected 'sound' that she remebered from earlier one...it was surprising she could even remember it, the 'sound' itself being so unknown to her that her memory should have rejected it just because it wasn't supposed to exist. Yet, the kasha remembered it...something so nightmarish as this couldn't easily be forgotten. Rin slowly brought her head up, her tearful eyes catching a single glimpse of the horrific image that was rising from the pit in front of her.

A single glance is all it took...

Rin's body began to convulse, her mind working so fast in just trying to find a rational answer as to what it was that was slowly pulling itself from the vast well of darkness that it caused the kasha to lose focus in her eyes; one pupil going one way and the other rolling back into her head. Her mouth fell agape, tounge hanging out as saliva dribbled from the tip of the oral muscle. No words, neither mental or physical could begin to describe the unspeakable mass of nightmares that manifested before the kasha that was practically having a grand mal seizure trying to figure out what it is that just grazed her line of sight...

Rin dropped to her knees, her head thrown back as her maw began to froth and bubble. All functions through out her twitching body went haywire, everything losing control of itself all at once. Brain...heart...bowels...everything collapsed in a massive panic attack as the mental phallus of whatever was edging closer violated the kasha's mind and soul in ways that couldn't be described. Eventually...something snapped...Rin ceased to move, her mind shutting down completely, broken and utterly useless. After soiling herself in a mind-rape induced diarrhea, Rin fell face first on the ground blood slowly beginning to pool around her face...

------

Elsewhere in Gensokyo, preferably above ground, none of it's residents were aware of the horrific fate that befell Rin, Satori or Utusho. The lot of them oblivious to their untimely end and in turn ignorant and blind to the horror that was beginning to spread through out the underground. However, there was in fact one sign that had emerged to warn the residents that everything was about to go horribly wrong...

Unfortunately, this sign was shown to one of the...lesser intelligent denizens of Gensokyo...

Cirno, Wriggle and Mystia stared down to the darkness youkai, Rumia. Her body curled into a tight ball as she shivered with a mixture of fright and anguish. None of them could understand why Rumia was doing this or what was causing it; Cirno having asked her numerous times if anything ailed her and only got a shakey response in the form of, "August is coming...August is coming...August is coming..."

"Don't you think we should take her to the doctor." Wriggle suggested to the ice fairy who looked on with confusion at her whimpering friend of darkness. "I mean, she could be sick..."

"Wriggle has a point," Mystia agreed, "We should try and find that Eientei place...the doctor there can cure anything."

"But we can't move her..." Cirno spoke up as she kneeled down to pull up Rumia only to have her motions resisted with a nigh budging Rumia. It was as if her body was anchored to the ground, immoveable by any amount of strength lest it fall into the super category. "How're we supposed to help'er if she won't let us take her there?"

"I'll see if I can find the doctor then." Mystia volunteered. "That way, we don't have to move Rumia and you all can keep a watch on her in case she gets worse." Cirno and Wriggle nodded to each in agreement, giving the sparrow the go ahead to implement this plan of action. However just as she was rising from the ground to fly to the bamboo forest, a cacophony of hysteric screams echoed in the distance as it slowly began to gain volume.

Confused by this, the three youkai rose to the sky to see what was causing this. The moment they rose past the treetops of the forest that surrounded them, they saw hundreds, perhaps even thousands of youkai spewing from an open cavern and into the surrounding wilderness. This was the first time the three of them had seen such a , needless to say that it did a fine job of frightening them as well. Knowing that if others are running then something must be wrong, the three youkai returned to the ground and prepared to run along with the crowd. Oblivious to the true nightmare that was actually chasing them...

"We have to get out of here!" Wriggle shouted to her comrades, the two of them hesitating as their eyes panned over to Rumia, who was still convulsing and refusing to move from her spot.

"But, we can't just leave Rumia-!" Mystia said before Rumia let out a throaty gurgle, catching the attention of the three youkai. Rumia twisted and squirmed, flopping onto her underside as she pushed herself up and expelled black bile from her mouth. "August is coming...August is-" She vomited once more. "-coming...August is-" She vomited yet again, the black pool beneath her dribbling gullet beginning to squirm to life as small hand like appendages reached out and groped the air aimlessly. Cirno and her friends could only look on as Rumia slowly became erect whilst sitting on her knees, the darkness youkai still chanting "...August is coming...August is coming...August is coming..."

The screams of the underground youkai grew louder and louder still. Before the crowd was now rushing past the 4 lesser youkai as they looked up and saw them running as fast as they could from whatever menace warranted them to flee in such terror. Not a one of them stopped to warn Cirno and her friends of what was coming or even tell them to run along with them...they all just ran. Uncaring to whatever they passed and only concearned with themselves and their lives...as meaningless as they were to whatever horror was chasing them out of their home...

If one wanted to see a stampede in it's finest form, then this...was the pure epitome of the word...

Eventually, the stampede began to die, the remaining remnants of the underground dwellers passing by Cirno and company without a single back glance. One of these last remanant was Yamame and Kisume, the tsuchigumo running as she could while the bucket bound girl hopped behind her with as much speed as she could muster.

"Hey! What...What's going on?" Wriggle finally spoke up, the now slightly quiet atmosphere allowing the firefly's call to catch Kisume's attention.

The moment Kisume turned and opened her mouth, her eyes bulged as her sights went above the 3 youkai. Kisume let loose a long, bloodcurdling screech, her hands planted on her head as black ooze dripped from her mouth and eye sockets. Suddenly, the bucket youkai exploded from the breast up with a sickening SPLOSH. Kisume's 'blood' sprayed in all directions, letting Cirno, Wriggle and Mystia gaze upon how the crimson juice had been transformed into a disgusting jet black sludge that poured from the vacancy on the corpse and pooled in the bucket Kisume was bound to.

The 3 youkai stared wide eyed at the now deceased Kisume in silence...their mouths unable to give birth to any form of words that could even begin to describe their confusion...

"...August is here..."

Rumia whispered as her head turned 360 degrees around to gaze at her friends with solid black eyes that poured of blackened tears of ooze and a mouth that overflowed with the same black vomit she was expelling from her gullet not long ago.

Cirno looked to Mystia and saw her drop to the ground, her body losing it's solid form and melting into the same black ooze that erupted from Rumia's mouth. She turned to Wriggle only to see her staring, mouth agape, at something that had been standing behind both her and Cirno the entire time.

Cirno turned her head around to see what Wriggle was looking at, and at that very moment, Cirno learned of what it felt like to have one's brain melt in their skull and drain through from their nostrils...

---------

The horror spread across Gensokyo, the mountain cave it came out of now completely engulfed in it's filthy black sludge as the rest of it's essence continued to pollute the once peaceful atmosphere that Gensokyo held close. No one knew what this abomination was...and those who even gazed at it went mad by just looking at it. For once in a while now, Gensokyo was in a full state of panic...

Reimu Hakurei and Marisa Kirisame stepped forward to combat the menace, the witch falling victim to the maddening sight of the horror while Reimu remained unscathed and attempted to ward it off.

However...there was in fact someone who knew of what this monster was...

"Chen, don't look outside!" Ran scolded the nekomata who swiftly backed away from the window putting on an innocent smile in the light of disobeying her master, Ran Yakumo. The kitsune sighed, applying palm to forehead as she glanced back to her own master, Yukari Yakumo who simply lay on the couch reading a magazine and eating Ho-hums. "You're positive that there's nothing you can do to stop this?"

"I'm not even sure on what it is myself, all I know is that it's some form of evil force that descended onto the earth eons ago. It's very nature and form is incomprehensible to normal minds and they break from just trying to figure out what it was they were looking at." Yukari said, biting into another pastry only to realize it was the last one. "I'm guessing that it's an extension of Mikaboshi, the primordial darkness of the universe that split apart when chaos became time itself. I suppose one of those extensions landed here and went into hibernation ages ago, and now (thanks to some idiot disturbing it) is fully awakened and ready to wreck havoc on the earth."

"Then how do we stop it...we can't just let it run rampant!" Ran told her master, turning around to see Chen gazing back out the window once again. "Chen, I thought I told you to stop looking outside."

"Relax Ran, we're safe here. I may not know what it is that's attacking us, but I've already put up a barrier that protects us from the monster." Yukari replied "As for stopping it...well, let's say that Reimu isn't exactly the one to put an end to this incident."

Ran quirked an eyebrow, knowing the miko was known to put down just about any form of youkai and solve most of the incidents in Gensokyo no matter how dire they may have seemed. Who else but the Hakurei shrine maiden would be equipped to combat a monster such as the one that was plunging Gensokyo into an eternal night? "If not Reimu...then who?"

Yukari's lips curled in a whimsical smile...a smile that Ran usually never liked seeing. Or should it be the other way around in this case? "Oh, someone with enough radiance to counter balance the dark mass~"

"...And I'm guessing Reimu doesn't have enough of this 'radiance'?"

"Hell no, that son of a bitch will break her head in two in less than an hour."

------------

Yukari was indeed correct in her words. There was only one youkai that could combat this evil pudding, and she was now in the process of realizing her destiny as we speak...

Located near a mountain rive, Orange sat on a stone encircled with flowers looking to her baton that was emanating a radiant energy. It was by this strange energy that her seal that Reimu placed upon her long ago was finally broken which allowed her to move on her own once again. Even so, this was really the first time she's felt such an energy pulse through her...and yet, despite it being so unfamiliar, Orange knew what this meant and what must be done...

Orange hopped off of her rock and burst forward into the heavens, her baton gripped tightly in her palms as she flew toward ground zero of the disaster that threatened to swallow Gensokyo...

------------

Reimu clutched the side of her head, the headache she had gotten just from looking at the monster that stood before her having grown much worse than when she began. The black horror had taken on the form of a giant oozing Koishi, black legions pulsating all over her otherwise nude form. Her large red eyes glowing in the darkness of the ominous heavens as her mouth spread to inhuman lengths across her face, torrents of blood like spittle pouring from her smiling gullet. Why the monster had taken on such a form was beyond the miko's understanding...then again the very existance of this amorphous lifeform was beyond all normal understanding as it is...

Sanae, Kanako, Suwako  and even Yuugi were also fighting in this battle, although only about one out of the original four were still standing and she was viciously pounding the huge tendrils that wriggled from the eldritch Koishi's form. Sanae had already went mad from the sight of the monster transforming into it's current form, Kanako and Suwako had become one with it after the both of them executed a final double team, which left Yuugi who was going purely on sheer willpower alone. Reimu didn't even know if the blond oni was fully concious or not...a glance into her eyes a moment ago revealed that they were as empty as her donation box as was...

Even so...nothing seemed to be working and the monster knew this...having given up on attacking them and awaiting it's latent attribute to fully take hold. Even though, Yuugi had ripped off several tentacles, and eye balls from Koishi's body, the monster remained anchored where it was, staring at Reimu with it's huge red eyes and wide smile...

"Is this it...?" Reimu gasped her headache having grown so bad that her vision was beginning to suffer. "I...did all I could...nothing's...working..."

"Don't worry, Reimu!" A cheerful voice called out from behind the suffering miko. Reimu turning around to see Orange standing behind her, the red haired youkai's body dripping in a newfound power that, yet again, Reimu didn't quite understand. "Summer's here to brighten the days of Gensokyo in it's warmth and radiance!"

"What in the-!" Reimu stuttered, having known that she had sealed this youkai up long ago during her early days as a miko. "Orange, what the hell...ahh screw it...nothing makes sense anymore so it figures someone like you would show up..."

"I'm the only one who can combat this monster, I didn't know it before but I was chosen to be this land's savior in a time such as this!" Orange rose her baton to the blackened skies, the glowing rod's brightness growing by the minute. As Reimu continued to gaze upon the spectacle she noticed that her splitting headache was disappearing...and that her spirits were being lifted up. Whatever power Orange had gained control of...it was complete antithesis to the one that the vile creature behind her had...

"Transform!" Orange declared her body now completely engulfed in light, as her clothing seemed to melt off. Orange began to twirl in mid-air, the baton above her bathing her in a mystic veil that concealed her naked form from Reimu's eyes. glittering sparkles of various colors began to fall from Oranges body. There was a somewhat melodious tune playing within Reimu's ear, the entire time she witnessed this. The source of the music and who ever was playing it was...a mystery in and of it self. But by this point, the miko had long since given up on trying to make sense of anything at this point...it would seem that while she's close to going insane, reality itself was going along with her.

Eventually, the transformation was complete, the veiling dispersing from around Orange to reveal her new form. The youkai's old attire now being replaced with something entirely different, a brightly colored bikini top, adorned with yellow flower designs with a matching bottom that came in the form of a fundoshi albeit bearing the same flowery designs along it's exterior. This was all the clothing Orange was given...everything else, including shoes, were missing from the outfit entirely. The baton she once held was now transformed into poofy pom-poms that acted as makeshift weapons for the new and improved youkai or summer. "Magical Summer Idol - Orange!" Orange thrust her right pom-pom into the air bringing forth bright flash of rainbow colored light. It would come off as strange that such a transformation would only grant the user so little armor, but when you've already seen something that was meant to destroy your very sanity, everything else seems to fall to the wayside...

"Good god, that outfit is skimpy." Reimu pointed out with an odd look. "I can practically see where your legs connect."

"I-I didn't know it would be like this, get off my back!" Orange cried a furious blushing racing across her face. "Besides, it matters not how much skin my outfit covers, so long as I can rid this world of that horrible bane over there!"

"Uhm...sure." Reimu muttered turning back to the Koishi abomination, no longer seeing Yuugi beat on the monster's body, but catching glimpse of a rainbow blur that whizzed past her. It didn't take much for her to know that the thing that had blew past her was Orange, the powered up youkai abandoning all reason and challenging the monster directly.

- Just listen okay... -

The Koishi shaped horror, seeing it's only challenger coming at it, convulsed, letting loose an orgasmic moan as she expelled a pool of black ooze from it's nether regions, the tidle wave of black fluid transforming into a gurgling mass of tentacles, claws and mouths bursting from the palms to rend and tear the challenger apart.

Orange continued forward with no fear of the legion of appendages that shot toward her like a pack of starving beasts of hell. "Strike Summer Idol!" Orange shouted the fluffy pom poms putting on an aura that quickly burst with an intense amount of energy. The lake of sludge pooled around her and the tendrils, teeth and claws began their vicious assault, the youkai courageously combating the onslaught with equally fast punches and kicks all while still advancing forward. "July Star Warrior!" Orange yelled out as she relled back and threw her pom-pom forward a bright star of energy burst from the fluffy fighting glove and crashed into the mass of tendrils with a brilliant explosion of light that obliterated the black mass of murder.

With that beast felled, Orange whirled on her heels and gazed up at the spread legged Koishi horror, it's towering immensity utterly dwarfing her existance by a margin so large that even Ran couldn't calculate it's exact amount. Orange burst forward, the wilderness surrounding her coming alive at the eldritch moan of her prodigious opponent, the trees melted and twisted into vile serpents that struck at Orange like lightning. Orange leaped back from the bite of a black three eyed serpent, falling into the jaws of another that immedieatly clamped it's maw shut and swallowed.

Reimu, who sat by and watched this all transpire in front of her, gasped as she witnessed Oranges demise.

Or so she thought...

"Summer Festival Fireworks!"

The serpents head began to swell, as muffled explosions went off in it's head, eventually the head of the snake exploded sending forth a twirling Orange a series of sparkling fireworks dancing from her twisting form. The summer themed youkai flew straight toward the abominations smiling head seeing a red eye open up in betwixt her mouthed breasts. "You can open as many eyes as you want!" Orange yelled to the Koishi horror. "But your eyes of darkness can never handle the light of my Summer Sun!!"

The Koishi shaped nightmare leaned back the abdomen of the monstrous construct splitting down the middle as immense tentacles burst from her gut each one housing sharp talons, and mouths, the sounds they emitted being incomprehensible to human ears.

Orange weaved through the tentacles, landing on one of the appendages and running along it's surface her pom poms taking on an intense yellow light. With each tendril that sprouted to slice her in half, she reversed and destroyed with her glowing pom poms of light all the while keeping her speed and quickly advancing closer to the Koishi's body. However, an immense mouth opened below her, evoking a yelp of surprise from Orange as she landed on it's tounge and sprung herself into the air just moments before the dangerously pointed fangs could rend her exposed flesh.

Orange soared directly toward the Koishi's smiling face, a tentacle shooting from her left eye and wrapping around Oranges body and bringing her close to Koishi's face. The abomination giggled...or at least let out a sound that could be described as giggling, knowing that once the youkai got close enough it could destroy Orange just as it did everyone else...

Eventually Orange came face to face with the primordial chaos that was consuming Gensyoko, the wide smile of pure insanity staring down upon her like that of an angry god. Even though, Orange had gottent his far, she was still falling victim to the maddening attributes of the Koishi horror, so much so that she could practically feel her mind slipping into the depths of insanity the more she looked into the eyes of the eldritch horror.

Orange screwed her eyes shut, knowing that if she stared into it's gaze any longer, she'll fall just like the many others have before her. Even then, she could still feel it...the creeping sense of her immenent doom lurking closer to you with it's scythe raised high ready to cleave you right down the middle. "You're...you're a monster that feeds on the fear of others..." Orange whispered to her self, her eyes still shut tight, in a fleeting attempt to ward of the monster's terror inducing gaze. "...you're killing all of the innocent youkai that live here, you're destroying my home...and I'm the only one who can stop you..."

"I'm...I'm going to admit that...I was afraid at first...knowing that if I died...everyone else would follow with me too..." Orange glared into the eyes of the monster, her body taking on a golden light. "But it's my destiny to defeat you, and if I can't be afriad of what I'm fated to do!" Orange ripped from her bindings her golden aura syphoning into her pom poms, the fluffy ornaments glowing intenely from the sheer amount of energy that was put into their make up. The Koishi horror let out a throaty moan her entire body coming alive and spewing forth tendrils to restrain Orange in place.

"August..."

The tendrils locked onto her legs, thighs and feet...

"...Decoration..."

The tendrils wrapped around her waist, chest and throat...

"...ARTS!!"

As the tendrils wrapped completely around Orange's body, all fell silent, Reimu looking from below and seeing nothing but a giant ball of oozing darkness that had sprouted from Koishi's middle. Suddenly that same ball erupted with an immense beam of golden light that tore from it's interior and ripped right through the chest of the Koishi horror. An earth trembling quake rattled beneath Reimu's feat as the beam of light grew in size, the Koishi horror's mouth opened wide as it let loose a maddening screech that tore across the blackened heavens.

As the seconds ticked by, more and more of the land began to reliquish the darkness that had plauged it like a vile disease, Orange's light being it's life-saving medicine that was ridding it of it's scourage. Reimu sheilded her eyes, as the light began to grow too intense for her to look into, although she also wanted to use her hands to tear off her ears to shut off the screech of the dying horror...

Before long, the entire area erupted in a pillar of golden light, the tower of energy stretching well beyond the stratosphere and forming an astral flower for all the cosmos to see in it's full blooming glory...

=====

"Ah look, Toyohime!" Reisen shouted in awe as she pointed to the earth before them, a glowing flower slowly blooming.

"Ah, that's something you don't see everyday..." Yorihime remarked to her sister who nodded with an intrigued smile.

"Indeed, it must be quite the occasion for such a phenomenon to occur..."

=====

- Hours later -

Reimu awoke, her vision slowly giving way to the clear blue skies of Gensokyo. The miko's eyes shot open at this sight and brought her body upright and looked around seeing that everything around her was...just as it as before all hell broke loose several hours ago. There was no darkness, no corpses and best of all...no orgasming, nude satori spewing forth galleons of black pestilence across Gensokyo. "I don't believe it..." Reimu breathed as she pulled herself to her foot, and looked around to take in the tranquility she thought she would lose forever. "Orange actually did it..." A sudden thought clamped down onto Reimu's brain the moment she said that name.

...Orange was nowhere to be found...

"Orange...Orange where are you?"

"She's gone, Reimu." A familiar voice answered from behind the shrine maiden, turning around to meet it's source revealed that it was none other than Yukari Yakumo.

"Gone...what do you mean gone," Reimu replied, her voice a filled with confusion. One moment, she was preparing to die, the next everything's back to the way it was...and the youkai she beat on long ago being the one to save the world? "That...thing didn't swallow her up did it?"

"No, she did managed to rid us of the extension that was going to kill us," Yukari answered with a slight twirl of her open parasol. "In the process however, she destroyed her own body. The amount energy she used to completely obliterating her existance."

Reimu could only stare at the gap youkai, lost in a state of disbelief...the youkai she thought never mattered...actually saved Gensokyo and perhaps the entire world from an eternal night. Maybe if Orange were still here...Reimu would actually...apologize to the youkai for sealing her up for no reason all those years ago.

"I wouldn't worry though..." Yukari spoke up as she opened a gap behind her. "Gensokyo may have averted one catastrophe but something tells me we're going to need a back up for the others to come~"

"Huh, What's that supposed to mean?" Reimu inquired with a quirked eyebrow.

Yukari said nothing and simply disappeared in the gap, a mocking chuckle echoing from the now closing gap in mid-air.

=======

"Huh, there must have been some crazy stuff going down outside..." Came the voice of the red-haired shinigami, Komachi as she gazed down at her newest passanger. "And you're saying that you were the one who stopped it?"

"I...don't remember..." Orange mumbled, her attire now back to the way it was as if she had never transformed at all. "All I can remember is...my baton acting all weird and then it was like something else took over...I mean, I know Gensokyo was in danger at the time but I didn't even want to go near whatever was causing so much trouble..." Orange looked to her baton, sitting by her side like the faithful weapon it was. The youkai wanted to remember what happened...she truly did...but her mind just couldn't piece anything together...

"Ah, I wouldn't worry about it." Komachi shrugged as she glanced across the Sanzu River. "I'm sure Eiki-sama will fill you in once we reach Higan."

Orange nodded in silence as she looked on into the waters below her, the reflection of her youthful face staring back at her. It was odd...she honestly couldn't remember anything that had happened before her death, her main instinct wanting to tell her that she had died like many of the other nameless youkai did during the tragedy. However, despite her amnesia of the events past, Orange felt felt a soothing warmth fill her chest, the same warming sensation that fills your body when you know you've done something good. Orange may not have been able to remember what happened before she died...but at least she knew she did something good before her end...

=========

Ending sucks. Don't bother me about it, I'm tired...
« Last Edit: March 03, 2010, 08:03:05 PM by Holy Dragon Erebus »
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Thata no Guykoro

  • I ran out of good lines a while ago
  • It alllll makes sense now
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #29 on: March 04, 2010, 04:09:20 AM »
Just curious, why did Koishi become a cosmic horror? (Also, the monster reminds me of Aku. So yeah.)