Author Topic: What If... v 5.0 (Read 190155 times)

Cybeast710 · « **Reply #600 on:** October 23, 2015, 01:18:40 PM »

Quote from: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 22, 2015, 10:15:38 PM

What if Aya started hosting a gameshow in Gensokyo?

Then it'd be "Distraction", that absolutely raunchy British one.

What if they played baseball in Gensokyo?

Spotty Len · « **Reply #601 on:** October 23, 2015, 03:29:19 PM »

The Onis would decimate everybody. Though the Gappers might stand a chance.

What if ZUN suddenly didn't like beer anymore?

LawfulInsane · « **Reply #602 on:** October 23, 2015, 03:36:23 PM »

Quote from: Spotty Ren on October 23, 2015, 03:29:19 PM

The Onis would decimate everybody. Though the Gappers might stand a chance.

What if ZUN suddenly didn't like beer anymore?

Huge loss of creativity ensues.

Also, Suika finally manages to outdrink ZUN.

What if Nitori worked on the American nuclear project in WW2? I'm really sorry if this is a horrible question.

Evil_Nazgul0616 · « **Reply #603 on:** October 23, 2015, 08:30:09 PM »

Quote from: LawfulInsane on October 23, 2015, 03:36:23 PM

What if Nitori worked on the American nuclear project in WW2? I'm really sorry if this is a horrible question.

Aircraft would not be needed to deliver the A-bomb, because it would be delivered by SUPER YOUKAI WARHEAD!

And then after witnessing the devastation, Nitori then goes into a Heroic BSOD, turning to ~~ZUN-esque levels of~~ drinking and wondering My God, What Have I Done?

What if Chen went into heat?

Abraham Lincoln · « **Reply #604 on:** October 24, 2015, 09:47:49 AM »

Ran: Aww, look. She's all grown up.

Yukari: We'd better spay her soon.

What if the planet Uranus was a 2hu?

PK · « **Reply #605 on:** October 24, 2015, 09:59:29 AM »

Dirty jokes about her name incoming.

What if berserk touhou? Not the manga, the crazy northmen warriors.

Hannibal_Kills · « **Reply #606 on:** October 24, 2015, 01:03:21 PM »

Quote from: PK on October 24, 2015, 09:59:29 AM

What if berserk touhou? Not the manga, the crazy northmen warriors.

Then prepare to receive feathers, axes, arrows and bison Danmaku farther than the eye can see.

What if Erwin Rommel was a Touhou?

shoryusatsu999 · « **Reply #607 on:** October 25, 2015, 03:02:41 AM »

She'd probably join up with Rika in order to get her book on tank warfare finished. Possibly end up getting caught up in a Gensokyo-wide WW2 reenactment.

What if hallucinogens started sending people to Gensokyo when taken?

zero_breaker · « **Reply #608 on:** October 25, 2015, 03:21:10 AM »

People go missing all over the place because they're eaten by youkai.

What if, by some unknown means, spellcard rule is enforced over the entire world?

LawfulInsane · « **Reply #609 on:** October 25, 2015, 05:36:36 AM »

War would be so much more fun...and much less deadly.

What if Kentucky Fried Mystia?

Abraham Lincoln · « **Reply #610 on:** October 25, 2015, 05:38:31 AM »

Quote from: LawfulInsane on October 25, 2015, 05:36:36 AM

War would be so much more fun...and much less deadly.

What if Kentucky Fried Mystia?

Mystia: *dumb Kentuckian accent* What a hot day today, I'm so baked. Anyone got sunscreen?

What if Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra?

Evil_Nazgul0616 · « **Reply #611 on:** October 25, 2015, 06:22:10 AM »

Quote from: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 05:38:31 AM

What if Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra?

Lunasa: Today we are no longer just poltergeist musicians and tsukumogami. From now on, we shall be known as the Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra! Now let's play our first symphony, right here on the outskirts of the human village!

Benben: Uh... I'm sorry, but I don't think our instruments are part of any kind of orchestra...

Yatsuhashi: Yeah... Maybe this was a bad idea...

Lunasa: Oh, shut up! Do you hear Raiko or either of my sisters complaining?

Raiko: Well, technically my instrument isn't part of an orchesta either. If I was a timpani youkai on the otherhand, I think I'd fit in much be-

Lyrica: Nobody cares what you think! Now give us a percussion line!

Merlin: Uh guys, I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but Mystia's band just started a concert on the other side of the village just now...

Lunasa: WHAT!?! Are you friggin' kidding me!?! God damnit! We've been out-shined again! Curse that Night Sparrow... _{Okay.... Calm down... It's not the end of the world...} Alright! New plan: Screw the orchestra, let's just head on over there, and play obnoxiously. Maybe we can make them sound terrible!

And that's the story of how the Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra was born and disbanded on the same night.

What if Seija consistently gets Wakasagihime, Sekibanki, and Kagerou's names wrong?

Abraham Lincoln · « **Reply #612 on:** October 25, 2015, 09:41:51 AM »

That would be why they all joined in the race to trap her in ISC.

What if everyone on this thread apologized profusely in every post? I'm sorry if this question offends anyone.

LawfulInsane · « **Reply #613 on:** October 25, 2015, 10:24:36 AM »

Quote from: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 09:41:51 AM

That would be why they all joined in the race to trap her in ISC.

What if everyone on this thread apologized profusely in every post? I'm sorry if this question offends anyone.

Then I'd stop doing it.

What if Kaguya and Eirin came from Mars instead?

Abraham Lincoln · « **Reply #614 on:** October 25, 2015, 11:54:09 AM »

Then...explain LoLK???!?!?!?!?!?!?!1 @_@
Also, Kaguya and Eirin would be small, green and have three eyes.

What if Touhou x Steven Universe?

Lt Colonel Summers · « **Reply #615 on:** October 25, 2015, 01:36:21 PM »

That crossover is going to be insignificant because very few people knew what Steven Universe is.

What if the next Touhou game turned out to be an official crossover with Kantai Collection?

zero_breaker · « **Reply #616 on:** October 25, 2015, 03:02:01 PM »

Murasa is the Extra Boss.

What if Aya become a detective? (somewhat inspired by FS 32)

Abraham Lincoln · « **Reply #617 on:** October 25, 2015, 03:24:58 PM »

Quote from: Lt Colonel Summers on October 25, 2015, 01:36:21 PM

That crossover is going to be insignificant because very few people knew what Steven Universe is.

You have got to be kidding me. It's all over the Internet now! Even one of the storyboard artists working on it is a fan of Touhou! ;_;
That same storyboard artist drew a picture of the character Lapis Lazuli (not Hecatia) cosplaying as Cirno.

Quote from: zero_breaker on October 25, 2015, 03:02:01 PM

What if Aya become a detective? (somewhat inspired by FS 32)

She will also play the role of crime scene photographer. However, she will eventually get more occupied taking photographs than actually trying to solve the crime itself.

What if Hecatia Lapislazuli met Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe?

Hannibal_Kills · « **Reply #618 on:** October 25, 2015, 10:05:11 PM »

Quote from: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 03:24:58 PM

What if Hecatia Lapislazuli met Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe?

Given the fact that they have quite similar names, I'm thinking like this if they met.

SU Lapis Lazuli : Hecatia, I wanted to say something.
Hecatia : What is it?
Lapis Lazuli : I am your freakin' mother.
Hecatia : Uhh... Okay... *confused

What if Gensokyo had a Self-Defense Force?

PK · « **Reply #619 on:** October 26, 2015, 05:18:58 PM »

Its members must be the most bored guys ever. No one from outside ever tries to trespass the border.

What if The Elder Scrolls: Gensokyo?

Evil_Nazgul0616 · « **Reply #620 on:** October 26, 2015, 06:24:25 PM »

Quote from: PK on October 26, 2015, 05:18:58 PM

What if The Elder Scrolls: Gensokyo?

Then Gensokyo would be equivalent to Tamriel, Hisotensoku is the Numidium, Makai would be the equivalent to Dagon's Plane of Oblivion, Eiki and Komachi will be 100% psychic and will know every single time you break the law, Eiki's lectures will always start with "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!," or "STOP! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW!" and 200 years later Gensokyo will be full of dragons.

What if Papyrus from Undertale was hired as the Scarlet Devil Mansion's chef?

Hope ♦ Metal · « **Reply #621 on:** October 26, 2015, 06:35:12 PM »

Quote from: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 26, 2015, 06:24:25 PM

What if Papyrus from Undertale was hired as the Scarlet Devil Mansion's chef?

Spaghetti would be the only thing on the menu. Also, it would have to be made with MTT Brand Artificial Garlic Flavour For Vampires.

What if Orin was your pet?

Abraham Lincoln · « **Reply #622 on:** October 27, 2015, 01:43:08 AM »

I would have to deal with a lot of dead things appearing at my doorstep...wait

I would hear a lot of loud screechy cat noises in the unholy hours of the night...wait

I would have to make sure she doesn't try to claim the soul of the hamster...wait

--Actually, it'd be just like owning a normal cat, to a certain extent.

What if we had a valkyrie 2hu?

Suspicious person · « **Reply #623 on:** October 27, 2015, 02:11:17 PM »

Quote from: Abraham Lincoln on October 27, 2015, 01:43:08 AM

What if we had a valkyrie 2hu?

Her theme would be "The ride of the 2hu", composed by ZUN

What if Chen bought a shotgun ?

Hope ♦ Metal · « **Reply #624 on:** October 27, 2015, 05:58:14 PM »

Quote from: Suspicious person on October 27, 2015, 02:11:17 PM

What if Chen bought a shotgun ?

It would have been bought with money earned by working at a cat cafe.

What if someone asked what would happen when we reach reply #666.

Cybeast710 · « **Reply #625 on:** October 27, 2015, 09:32:07 PM »

Quote from: Abraham Lincoln on October 27, 2015, 01:43:08 AM

What if we had a valkyrie 2hu?

Alternate answer to this question. The Valkyrie from Legend of Valkyrie finally finds new life in a new game.

Quote from: Hope ♦ Metal on October 27, 2015, 05:58:14 PM

What if someone asked what would happen when we reach reply #666.

You just did and nothing seemed to happen, so...

What if there was a crossover between Touhou and The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth (I picked Afterbirth solely to disqualify the "Binding of Alice" mod.)

Evil_Nazgul0616 · « **Reply #626 on:** October 28, 2015, 08:12:15 PM »

Quote from: Cybeast710 on October 27, 2015, 09:32:07 PM

What if there was a crossover between Touhou and The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth (I picked Afterbirth solely to disqualify the "Binding of Alice" mod.)

Well, since Afterbirth isn't out yet (Only a few days till it's released though

), I can only speculate that it would be like "Binding of Alice" (Which I didn't even know existed until you brought it up.) with more bosses, items, room types, and alternate floors. Plus a new final boss. And will have the new ~~Reimu~~ Greed mode.

Also Sekibanki will be either the Headless Horseman, or the new Ragman boss. Because the latter has head-throwing as an attack, while the former should be obvious.

And Team ⑨ will be the harbingers.

What if Renko is secretly evil and is only friends with Maribel so she can use her to find a way into Gensokyo?

PK · « **Reply #627 on:** October 28, 2015, 08:38:08 PM »

Then "trying to get to Gensokyo and cause problems" is some serious hereditary issue in the Usami lineage.

What if Alice is actually the doll, and is getting manipulated by inchlings that just pretend to be dolls?

Evil_Nazgul0616 · « **Reply #628 on:** October 28, 2015, 10:24:49 PM »

Quote from: PK on October 28, 2015, 08:38:08 PM

Then "trying to get to Gensokyo and cause problems" is some serious hereditary issue in the Usami lineage.

What if Alice is actually the doll, and is getting manipulated by inchlings that just pretend to be dolls?

Then she must be a very lifelike doll, and the inchling dolls must be very convincing, since Medicine can't tell the difference.

What if Shinmyoumaru discovered stilts?

Uruwi · « **Reply #629 on:** October 28, 2015, 11:42:58 PM »

Quote from: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 28, 2015, 10:24:49 PM

What if Shinmyoumaru discovered stilts?

STILTS

(serious answer: she'd still be too small to use them)

What if stilts didn't exist?