What If... v 5.0

[Abraham Lincoln]

Shadow1176, you forgot to add your question.

Well, what if Winston Churchill was a Touhou?

[Kulgia]

To me, Danmaku is somewhat considered sports in Gensokyo but I'm not sure in real life.

[Uruwi]

Edit: Thanks Lincoln. What if Danmaku became a sport in real life?

There would be no Danmaku-related deaths. I hope.
Oh, and most of the players would be female.

What if I created Touhou?

[Abraham Lincoln]

What if I created Touhou?

Hello there ZUN! :3 *offers beer* Words cannot describe the admiration I have for you and your phenomenal work.

What if Cirno was actually Hitler?

[Uruwi]

What if Cirno was actually Hitler?

Then the Holocaust would have killed only 9 million people.

What if you created Touhou?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Then I would be a skinny, bespectacled Japanese man fond of hats and good beer.

Alternative answer: Touhou would be more Americanized, filled with more references to outside world history, and some character designs would be loosely inspired by Pacific USN Fleet Girls Collection.

What if ZUN ate Hitler?

[Uruwi]

What if ZUN ate Hitler?

ZUN would be dead by now (of age).

What if Hitler made Touhou?

[Hope ♦ Metal]

What if Hitler made Touhou?

There would be far more murder. (And the Yin-Yang Orbs would be Swastika Orbs instead.)

What if we stopped brining up Hitler in this thread?

[Uruwi]

What if we stopped brining up Hitler in this thread?

Someone would inevitably bring him up again.

What if the admins banned anyone who mentioned Hitler from now on?

[Kulgia]

Then nobody will mention it anymore.

What if non-flesh eating dinosaurs appears in Gensokyo?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Parsee Mizuhashi's Jealoussic Park.

What if Joseph Ducreux was a Touhou character?

[snowflake247]

Naturally, all of the dialogue and spell-card names of suh a boss would be written in naught but the most elegant of language. Those playing the game would thus be impelled to purchase a dictionary and/or a thesaurus, for the purposes of understanding such flowery and impenetrable diction.

What if Nitori built a weapon to surpass Metal Gear?

[Lt Colonel Summers]

Then we might have a crossover with the Metal Gear franchise, where Solid Snake and maybe Raiden will infiltrate Gensokyo in a Cardboard Box disguise and try to sabotage the new weapon, only to soon find themselves involved in a massive Moriya Shrine Conspiracy so mind-screwy that it will make the ones they've faced in the Metal Gear franchise look easy to understand.

What if everything that has ever happened in the Touhou games were all a conspiracy orchestrated by Zun? Not in the sense of him making the games, but in the sense of him being an actual character in-game.

[Uruwi]

What if everything that has ever happened in the Touhou games were all a conspiracy orchestrated by Zun? Not in the sense of him making the games, but in the sense of him being an actual character in-game.

It would be a Oota Shrine Conspiracy.

What if the making of the games were all a conspiracy?

[Abraham Lincoln]

The personification of the Illuminati will appear as a final boss (I wish).

What if Frederick the Great was a Touhou character?

[shoryusatsu999]

Would probably end up a stage 5 boss due to guilt by association with whoever caused the incident of the week. Could be a Hitler expy, could not be. Whatever happens, the BGM would probably contain a mix of horrific war noises and beautiful flute music.

What if there was a second Gensokyo over in the US?

[PK]

Then it would mean we no longer believe he existed. Also, genderswap.

What if Okuu ate Eirin instead of Yatagarasu?

[Hope ♦ Metal]

What if Okuu ate Eirin instead of Yatagarasu?

She would gain super-healing powers instead, and Moriya Shrine would get way more faith that way.

What if everyone was a yukkuri?

[Spotty Len]

What if everyone was a yukkuri?

Then everybody would be edible, meaning Yuyuko would stand victorious.

What if all characters hair color wasn't natural?

[PK]

This would explain the weird hair colors.

What if Ex-Rumia eventually became true because it was some sort of urban legend inside the fandom?

[Suspicious person]

What if Ex-Rumia eventually became true because it was some sort of urban legend inside the fandom?

We'll have to see who got the lunar capital orb in the fandom

What if Myourenji people were bald ?

[Shadow1176]

But... all the hairstyles...

What if Koishi was in your room?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Nobody would notice her anyway.

What if Koishi was actually hacking into my account and posting this question on my behalf?

[Uruwi]

What if Koishi was actually hacking into my account and posting this question on my behalf?

We'd still answer them.

What if Satori is reading your mind right now?

[Shadow1176]

I'm an open book. Although she may have trouble with keeping up with my hyperactive imagination. :3

What if Touhou Hyperdimension Neptunia crossover?

[Suspicious person]

I'm an open book. Although she may have trouble with keeping up with my hyperactive imagination. :3

What if Touhou Hyperdimension Neptunia crossover?

It'll be about how Red, the long forgotten CPU of the former Atari kingdom, ended up in Gensokyo and her plot on getting faith(?) and followers before trying to launch a reconquista of Gamindustri. The heroines, thinking that the sudden raise of interest on video games might be an incident,  start investigating ; and the CPU somehow hear about this and head to Gensokyo to deal with Red. The ending, of course, won't be very nice for Red, but everyone'll somehow end up doing a tea party. Also, Patchouli X Blanc fictions...

What if Touhou X Len'En crossover ?

[TresserT]

What if Touhou X Len'En crossover ?

FIRST GAME: Story of Evanescent Existence
PLOT: Reimu wakes up one day to find her clothes have been replaced with 2D cloth. She investigates.
BOSSES:

• Kotohime- Melanin Undercover ~ Gun Princess
  
• Rumia- Apparitions in the Ocean
• Marisa- Monochrome Magic- (Alternatively, Reimu- A Dream Battle through Time and Space)
• Yuki and Mai- Magical Dualism
• Sakuya- Night's End
• Mima- Record Sealing of an Entire Universe ~ Complete Power

EXTRA: Yukari - Eternal Dream Engine ~ Boundary of Dance!
CONCLUSION: Yukari's friend invited her on vacation. Yukari thought Reimu would be bored when she was gone, and was having none of it. She brings back a bunch of old people to keep Reimu company. Reimu never finds her clothes.

SECOND GAME: Embodiment of Malevolent Scarlet
PLOT: The sky turns red (again). Reimu investigates.
BOSSES:

• Eirin- Moon Boots
  
• Tewi- Slimy Inaba ~ You're a fool
• Kaguya- Luminous Lunatic Princess
• Flandre- UN Owen was in it for the Money?
• Alice- Haniwa Judgement ~ The Girl who Abandoned her Immolation
• Remilia- Beneath a Deep Scarlet Mist
• Gungnir- Beneath a Glimmering Belvedere

EXTRA: Patchouli- Locked FATE ~ The Girl's Forbidden Love
CONCLUSION: Remilia was bored, so she caused an incident again. Patchouli was having none of it this time.

THIRD GAME: Reimagine Mystic IOSYS
PLOT: Vengeful spirits have been popping up all over the place.
BOSSES:

• Orin- Nekoromancer ~ Voyage of an Empty Husk
  
• Cirno- Get Ready Mk.IX
• Reisen- Lunatic in the Gloomy Straits
• Reimu/Marisa- Double Black Cat Shrine Maidens
• Remilia/Sakuya- Only in Beige, Only in Scarlet
• Alice/Patchouli- Keep the Love
• Utsuho- Children of the Moon and Sun
• Yuyuko- A Name on the Edge of Life ~ Blooming in Ecstacy

EXTRA: Eiki- Judgement of the Present World
EXTRA+: Lily White- Even in Unreality
CONCLUSION: The Workers Union of the afterlife went on strike. Eiki was having none of it.


What if Chen were actually ZUN in disguise?

[Suspicious person]

What if Chen were actually ZUN in disguise?

Then everything in Touhou is real, ZUN just takes inspiration from Gensokyo and put everything in his games without telling the rest of the world of about Gensokyo existing, then shamelessly takes all the credit. How sly. Also, ZUN as an undercover cat girl... what am I thinking...

What if Layla Prismriver came back as a ghost ?

[Hope ♦ Metal]

What if Layla Prismriver came back as a ghost ?

She would attempt to create the ultimate instrument. And then get a piano.

What if Kung Fury was a 2hu?

[Kulgia]

What if Kung Fury was a 2hu?

Mei Ling got herself a new kung fu rival and he will kick the balls of the new trouble makers.

What if Doremy kicked Yuuka out of Mugenkan or Dream World because she didn't pay her rent?
 
Random person: Say Yuuka. What happened to Mugenkan?
Yuuka: Sorry. I really don't want to talk about it.
Doremy: YUUKA....YOUR RENT!!

Source is from my friend. He drew it.