People.
If there was anything Alice Margatroid couldn't stand, it was people.
Of course, people knew that. They had always written off Alice as a loner with a doll-building obsession who was too stubborn and proud to admit she had feelings for anyone.
What she hated was that they were half right on that count.
"Seriously, I don't understand what is with these people."
Alice muttered to herself, aware that only the wooden ears of her dolls would catch her voice. She sewed up a tear Shanghai had received after one of her more recent automaton experiments went awry. She had cut off her supply of magical energy (if Alice's concentration slipped for an instant she'd fidget, and that'd make everything harder) so Shanghai simply looked back at her with blank eyes.
"So caught up in their romanticism and all. Just because I like being by myself means I'm shy?"
As she worked, one of her unused pinkies wagged incessantly. A barely visible thread connected it to another doll, currently writing down Alice's monologue as she spoke. There was no real finesse in her finger movement, but her mind thought out the task plain and clear. The magic did the rest.
"Especially all the people who think I have a thing for Marisa. I mean, really? Just because we live close and we have similar interests we're immediately a pair?"
Even when she talked to herself, Alice managed to keep herself perfectly calm. One of the other rumours passing around about her was that she was thoroughly depressed and lonely, crafting dolls as an attempt to keep herself company.
If she ever found out who'd started that one, she'd show them exactly what her dolls were capable of. And it wasn't tea parties and puppet shows.
The needle finished its final journey, and pulling at it Alice smiled as Shanghai's dress slipped back together. She raised a finger towards the doll, and another thread started to pass through the air towards the contraption. As it made contact the doll's head rose, and emotion began to seep into her eyes. She stood up with her tiny little legs and bowed.
"Many thanks, master."
"Whatever. Just get ready to move, I want to talk to some people."
Shanghai had been the closest Alice had come to her goal of creating a doll that could move on its own. An automaton - It was the absolute pinnacle of her field, the result she'd been aiming for for years now, but even Shanghai was unable to act unless Alice maintained her with her own supply of magic. Her mind drifted to a rumour of a living doll in the suzuran fields, but that had only been at large during the flower-viewing incident some time ago. She'd visited several times afterwards with no success, so most days she simply sat around and tweaked Shanghai until she reached her dream.
That was all it was. Nothing more. No loneliness, no embarrassment, no nothing.
"And I'm sick of people trying to insist that's the case."
Taking a bag of spare dolls with her just in case, Alice let herself out and began to make her way out of the Forest of Magic, Shanghai following right behind her shoulder. She had already decided where to start - honestly, in terms of information in Gensokyo, there was only one place that made sense.
---
"Hey, if it isn't the hikki puppeteer herself!"
Aya's opening remark was, if nothing else, thoroughly predictable. She motioned to a seat across from her desk at the Bunbunmaru office (read: a shed on the Mountain of Youkai that someone had forgotten to demolish), and Alice accepted. A tiny plaque on the desk read 'Aya Shameimaru: Reporter, Editor, And Professional Photographer (Given Sufficient Funding)'.
"You must've brought me something pretty juicy if you managed to get past Momizi. I've told her not to let anyone past unless they've got something good to offer."
"Yeah, about that. I sorta lent her one of my dolls to toy around with while I talked to you. I'd suggest you find a guard with a longer attention span sometime soon."
"...Oh."
Aya's disappointment was apparent. Shanghai shook her head in disapproval, displaying Alice's inner thoughts without needing to say a word. She patched up her expression, though, and did her best to rebound.
"A-Anyway. Should I assume you're here to spill the truth about your feelings?"
"As a matter of fact, I am."
Aya's face beamed, though she seemed disappointed in the lack of nerves on Alice's part. She grabbed a piece of paper from the pile beneath her desk, pulling out a pen.
"Good to see you're coming clean, Alice! Don't need much from you, just a quote about your undying love for that black-white. The rumour mill's already given me plenty to work with."
"Actually, on that note. Any idea as to where this rumour mill started?"
Aya jerked her head away from the piece of paper, clearly irritated her scoop wasn't coming for free.
"Well, since you're not going to anyone else about it, I guess it's only fair I give you a little back."
She stopped for a minute, looking blankly into the distance. Alice could almost hear the cogs whirling in her head as she pulled her mind back to the start of this mess.
"...It's been around for a while, so I can't give anyone in particular...I remember that apparently the source is someone very close to you, but really that's all that got specified. It was in enough detail for me to believe it, too. Not enough for an article, though apparently that's about to change~."
Alice's eyes widened for a moment. Who out there would honestly call themselves close to her? She'd taken people in, but she'd never really paid any attention to them during their stay, and no-one ever visited her-
"...Ah."
Shanghai, as a servant of her master's intentions, slammed the palm of her hand into her face alongside Alice. The puppeteer groaned slightly.
"...Goddammit. Here I was thinking it was just people being over-romantic and making it up on a whim."
Alice pulled her hand aside, shaking her head and readjusting her hair. Shanghai fiddled with her dress in unison as the seven-coloured youkai got to her feet.
"Well, Miss Shameimaru, it's been interesting. Thanks for your help."
Alice moved towards the door, prompting a cry of shock from Aya.
"H-Hey, wait! What about this article?!"
Alice looked back with a demonic smirk.
"Oh, don't worry. I've never cared at all for Marisa in the slightest. Just thought you might want to know that."
She walked out the 'office' with a confident stride, looking out to the path down the mountain. Momizi was where Alice had left her, lying on the ground at her guard post toying with the doll. Her tail was wagging with childish satisfaction.
"Ehehe, it's cute...oh, Miss Margatroid. Do I have to give this back now...?"
Momizi pouted, her wolf ears drooping slightly. Alice turned to her, then back to the building she'd emerged from. Aya wasn't going to let her away with this for nothing, and if she didn't have any news to offer the tengu would probably settle for just handing down a beating. And even if she found Marisa, there was no way she could do anything about it alone.
With unsympathetic haste, a plan formed in Alice's head.
"Actually, you can hold onto it for doing such a good job, okay? Now go and show it to your boss, she'll love it."
Momizi's eyes glistened with joy. She nodded happily as Alice quickly started to make her way down the mountain. A few seconds later, Aya emerged, fan in hand as she dashed towards the puppeteer.
"That does it, you goddamn NEET! Nobody leaves me without spilling something news-worthy-"
"Hey, Miss Aya~! Look at this!"
Aya froze at Momizi's call, rubbing her temples. She always picked the worst times to do things like this. Not that it mattered - Aya was the fastest in Gensokyo, so there was no way Alice could run from her.
"...Okay, lemme see this thing."
Aya sat down next to Momizi, observing the doll. It was definitely well made, presumably one of Alice's standard models. It was nice seeing her fellow tengu enjoy herself so much with it, at least...
In the distance, Alice clicked her fingers.
"Eh? Miss Aya, do you hear a ticking sound coming from this doll? I don't know if it's supposed to be doing tha-"
---
Meanwhile, at the Hakurei shrine, Reimu found herself wondering why she couldn't get time to herself in her own damn home. Either it was Suika or it was the girl lying across her lap right now, her overgrown witch's hat lying a few inches from her head.
"You're an idiot, you know that?"
Marisa laughed in response. Reimu honestly wished that the girl had the capability to at least accept an insult - it defeated the point entirely if she just defused everything with laughter.
"Gee, y'think? Personally I think it's kinda funny."
"You went for easy targets. No ambition."
Reimu sipped at a cup of green tea, having grown used to Marisa's tendency to treat her friends like they were siblings. Although maybe 'friend' was the wrong word from Reimu's point of view. 'Stubborn acquaintance who mistakes coincidental meetings for signs of friendship' made more sense, but it was sort of a mouthful.
"Well, you gotta make it believable and all. Alice is sorta a jerk, but all you need to do is slant your view a little and BAM! She's as deredere as you get. Same with Patchy and Nitori - just give the tengu a rumour or two and the system runs itself!"
"...Deredere?"
"Some word your gap friend told me about. Never mind."
Marisa was looking up at the afternoon sky with an expression of contentment. Her arms were behind her head, and she smiled to herself as if in response to some hidden joke.
"Anyway, things are going pretty swell for me. Nothing to worry abou-"
"Here as usual, I see."
Marisa jerked to her feet with inhuman speed as her voice was cut off. A familiar face had walked in on the conversation. Familiar in a very uncomfortable way.
"U-Uh, hey, Alice. D-Didn't think you ever bothered visitin' Reimu, so, uh..."
Alice worn an expression that had transcended rage and gone all the way around back to calm. Shanghai, still fluttering over her shoulder, was somewhat less relaxed, turning to Marisa and running her finger across her throat.
"I suppose you thought it'd be pretty funny to try passing me off as some lonely love-sick loser, didn't you? Something that you thought would make a nice little joke, huh?"
Alice casually stepped forward, the smile on her face terrifyingly false. Marisa started adjusting her collar as she tried to shimmy to the side.
"Uh, well, y'see...this is all a crazy misunderstanding, right? Just some stupid jokes that got outta hand and, well, it wasn't my idea, and-"
That was as far as she got before she could see her opening. She burst into running speed instantly, trying to use her added momentum to burst past Alice and off to freedom-
"Hold it!"
Marisa stopped dead in her tracks as something grabbed her by the shoulder. Her head turned to the assailant, and it was only with mild surprise that she failed to see anyone holding her in place. The edge of her dress almost seemed trapped in midair. The voice that had called out was the second of the three Marisa really hadn't wanted to hear.
"What, you thought I'd confront you by myself? You really are an idiot, Marisa."
Alice let a tone of triumph slip into her voice. The invisible figure started to fade into view, and Marisa found herself face to face with her (now quite definitely ex-)kappa partner.
"I let you visit and promise to show you my new inventions...and this is what I get!? That's just plain mean, Marisa!"
Nitori was nowhere near as calm as Alice had been, tears rolling down her eyes. Marisa's mouth bobbed open and shut as she tried to produce some sort of excuse.
"Uh, w-well...y-you're not getting it...really-"
Before she could offer any more in her defense, a swarm of ropes emerged from the staircase in the distance, advancing on the captive witch and wrapping themselves around her. Nitori dropped her, allowing the now-bound Marisa to fall to the floor.
"...Haah...haah...I have yet...to understand...just why these humans...are so obsessed with...stairs."
Patchouli, the last of the trio, hauled herself up the stairway to the shrine with all the energy her body could spare. The ropes of wind were her doing, and as a superior magician they were more than enough to keep Marisa at bay.
Marisa was looking up at the sky again, but this time with no feelings of happiness whatsoever. Three faces loomed over her - two melancholic, one distraught, and all of them almost definitely coming up with ideas of bad things to do to her.
"Well, Marisa, I'm sure you're be aware of the threefold law?"
Alice smiled, motioning to Nitori to continue.
"Right. Whatever you give out to the world..."
"...You shall receive in return, threefold."
With that as a promise of what was in store, the trio put their united effort into lifting the flailing witch.
"H-Hey, guys! This isn't funny, really! Y-You can put me down now and all...aw, man, it was a joke! Don't get hard about i-gah!"
It was a strange occurance in that whenever Marisa's complaints became too loud, Alice would accidentally drop her head and send it slamming into a stair. What an amazing coincidence, especially since it lasted the whole several minute trip down the stairs, and there was yet more punishment to come after that.
Not that Reimu cared, though. She was back to sipping her tea, observing the entire affair as a spectator alone.
"...Heh. Looks like it all worked out in the end."
By offering the idea to Marisa all that time ago, she'd intended for everything to come to a head like this. Marisa passed out rumours, girls get pissed, girls beat up Marisa, Marisa ends up too distraught to bother her again. All for the sake of finally getting her own shrine to herself.
There was a new flavour in her tea today - that wonderful aftertaste of everything going just as planned.