MarisaStory: A Certain Magical Internet

[Third Eye Lem]

> Proceed.

> The parser assumes you mean through the door, and you try to open it. Your hand feels numb, like when you accidentally sleep on it, and it feels like your arm is being suspended by invisible cushions. You reach the door without harm, but your attempts to pull it open are fruitless; the door refuses to budge.

[capt. h]

> Do something helpful.

> Have difficulty thinking of anything.

> Have Alice do something helpful.

[Third Eye Lem]

> Do something helpful.

> Have difficulty thinking of anything.

> Have Alice do something helpful.

> You try to figure out how to open this door...
> ...But your limited knowledge of Kaguya's magic (and time magic in general) stumps you. Where's Sakuya or Yukari where you need them?...Not that you'd ask for their help of course, a person of your awesomeness doesn't just request Deus Ex Machinae like that.
> You turn to Alice as a new thought pops into your head, why not use that Grimoire she's had sitting around? Alice nervously objects, she wouldn't want to risk it. "This book is more powerful than you could possibly imagine, even my child self couldn't unlock its full power..."

> Footsteps divert your attention as Reisen and Eirin enter the hallway. They're carrying with them a cube-shaped device with glowing lines running over it. This, you guess, was the EMERGENCY TELEPORTER they talked about earlier.
> "It works!" Reisen says with a smile as she and Eirin put it down. "There's just one problem...It's meant to teleport the pilot towards the nearest planet in the case of an emergency ejection in space. Since we're already on a planet right now...Yeah, we're not sure how to reprogram it without taking it a part, and it's a total pain. Maybe you two have some ideas...?"

> _

[Hanzo K.]

>Taking stuff apart and putting it back together...Isn't Nitori good at that?

[Third Eye Lem]

>Taking stuff apart and putting it back together...Isn't Nitori good at that?

> You think of Nitori as you look at the device. She could potentially take it apart, but you're not sure how good she is with Lunarian technology.

[Hanzo K.]

>"Hmm...I don't really know how good she is with this sort of tech, but the first person I think of if it involves a gadget of some kind is usually Nitori."
>After all, for us, breaking things is easier than fixing them, right?
>Then look to Alice. "Unless you think you might be able to do the job with all those dolls of yours."

[Third Eye Lem]

>"Hmm...I don't really know how good she is with this sort of tech, but the first person I think of if it involves a gadget of some kind is usually Nitori."

> Reisen perks up at that. "Isn't she the head engineer behind those KappaTops?" You explain to her that you've gotten to know her better after the Mountain of Faith incident, and that she's pretty handy with tech. In fact, it was because of her that you and Alice got your laptops. "Wow, that's really nice of her! I wish we had someone like her on hand, the only one with any sort of mechanical skill is me, and I'm not that advanced." Reisen pauses for a second. "Besides...I wouldn't want to drag her away from her busy schedule just for this."

>After all, for us, breaking things is easier than fixing them, right?

> Totally! However, that's not to say you can't think of a more finesse-worthy solution to a problem. You just haven't found a good reason to. :V

>Then look to Alice. "Unless you think you might be able to do the job with all those dolls of yours."

> On the other hand...Alice might provide some insight, so you say the above to her. "Hmmm, we could try a beacon spell to direct the teleporter's destination...Didn't you study those in the past, Mari?"

> _

[capt. h]

> Did we study those in the past?

> "Well, I suppose if we knew how it identified planet locations, we could trick it's sensors. Make it believe the nearest planet is a couple miles overhead."

> "Or I could stick my Hakkero to the back of a hammer and hit her room at Mach 4."

> Make sure to "borrow" a hammer and some glue from Eientei.

[Third Eye Lem]

> Did we study those in the past?

> You started studying those after the IN incident. With so many youkai and humans working together, having something to direct the others to the "hot zone" would only help in the long run. Many types of beacons exist, though the one that comes to your mind for this situation is an ATTRACT BEACON, which can pull spells and other magical phenomena towards it.

> "Well, I suppose if we knew how it identified planet locations, we could trick it's sensors. Make it believe the nearest planet is a couple miles overhead."

> Reisen thinks for a moment. "Well, that's possible, but tricky. It won't transport you to a barren asteroid with no life on it. The target planet has to be able to sustain life, and the teleporter checks for that before committing to the teleport."

> "Or I could stick my Hakkero to the back of a hammer and hit her room at Mach 4."

> Reisen sweatdrops. "I-I'm not sure that's actually...Viable, but I guess it's an option?" Eirin doesn't seem pleased with the option; Medicine is doing her best not to laugh.

> Make sure to "borrow" a hammer and some glue from Eientei.

> So far, you haven't gotten a chance to pilfer anything. Security has tightened a bit since you last visited; you've spotted security cameras throughout the halls and in Eirin's Infirmary. You might be better off just  asking for the items...Aw, who're you kidding, you could totally swipe those goods right out of their noses! You saw a supply closet earlier, that'd be a good place to look for the glue...For the hammer, if you want something hefty to smash open that door, you may need to sneak downstairs and swipe one from the rabbits' workshop.

> Crafting Challenge Unlocked: Hammer Time -- Possibly inspired by Dedede from Super Smash Bros Brawl, you decided to try and affix your Hakkero to a large hammer and turn it into a weapon of rocket-powered destruction. DISCLAIMER: Crafting Challenges are completely optional and not required to finish the game, though they can help you finish it...Or completely screw it up. Think carefully before commiting to one!
     > REQUIRED ITEMS: Lunarian Super Glue x1, Any Heavy-class Hammer x1, Mini-Hakkero x1

[capt. h]

> "It knows this planet is viable. How does it know the exact coordinates? I think we could trick it into getting confused about the coordinates while keeping the same target."

> We need to make an excuse to collect things from the supply closet while we're still helping, then plan a route when we leave that takes us past the rabbit's workshop. Then run like hell.

> Or we could ask nicely. But where's the fun in that?

[Third Eye Lem]

> "It knows this planet is viable. How does it know the exact coordinates? I think we could trick it into getting confused about the coordinates while keeping the same target."

> Reisen explains how it works...In surprising detail. Basically, it uses existing starchart data to calculate the position of the planet, as well as its speed, orbit, distance from the sun...It's a lot to take in. At least you got an idea of how it works.

> We need to make an excuse to collect things from the supply closet while we're still helping, then plan a route when we leave that takes us past the rabbit's workshop. Then run like hell.

> Or we could ask nicely. But where's the fun in that?

> You could always go with the classic "I need to use the restroom" ruse. The problem is that you probably need an escort to get to one, given how labyrinthine Eientei is.

[capt. h]

> "Well, if it's using starchart data, I imagine it would need to compare the data to a clock to get the locations right. So it ought to calculate wrong if we slow down it's clock a second or two. Sound about right?"

> Expose device to door magic for a few seconds.

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Well, if it's using starchart data, I imagine it would need to compare the data to a clock to get the locations right. So it ought to calculate wrong if we slow down it's clock a second or two. Sound about right?"

> "Hmm, yes, time plays a large role in the calculations..." Eirin says. "What did you have in mind?"

> Expose device to door magic for a few seconds.

> You say that you have this cunning plan, and ask if you could borrow the teleporter for a second. At first, the two hesitate, but they allow you to take custody of the device briefly. You try moving it...It's about as heavy as a fully-packed storage chest. Alice assists you in the movement, and the two of you position the teleporter cube next to the door.
     > "Lunarian tech is heavy..." Alice moans once the device is in place.
     > "Well yeah, what did you expect?" Medicine says, though Eirin shoots a stern look at her for doing so.
     > "I have to say, this never crossed my mind," Eirin says. It seems she's pieced together what you were plotting. "Throwing off the teleporter's internal clock by using Kaguya-sama's own magic? That's pretty ingenious of you." You thank her for the comment, then wait for about five seconds before you and Alice move the teleporter away from the door. "I just hope it works." You assure her it will.

> With time thoroughly besmirched for the clueless teleporter, Reisen sets it to lock onto Kaguya, and hits the "go" switch. There's power up noise, then a flash of light, and a loud POP noise. As you recover from the brief loss of hearing and sight, you can see Eirin looking at some kind of handheld device. It looks similar to the walkie-talkie Reisen has, but it's bigger. You go in for a closer look.
     > "Kaguya-sama's vital signs haven't changed, but her position has. She's on the roof," Eirin says, trying to hold back a chuckle. "I can assume she won't be happy about us interrupting her gaming spree."

> _

[capt. h]

> "She's gonna have to pass by us to get back to her game, right?"

> "Let's get some super-glue on her doorknob. It oughta keep her still while we blast the tumor. Agreed?"

[Third Eye Lem]

> "She's gonna have to pass by us to get back to her game, right?"

> "Actually...I'm not sure if Kaguya-sama is well enough to move from her spot on the roof," Eirin says with concern on her face. "Perhaps we should go up and retrieve her."

> "Let's get some super-glue on her doorknob. It oughta keep her still while we blast the tumor. Agreed?"

> "We can worry about the tumor after we get her to safety!" Reisen says suddenly, but quickly shrinks back after her outburst. "Sorry. I'm just as worried as you all are."

> _

[capt. h]

> "I think a tumor is a bigger deal for a girl like Kaguya than falling off a roof, don't you?"

> "Time for a shortcut."

> Be stopped from blowing roof off of Eientei by Alice.

> Begrudgingly decide to take the long way.

[Third Eye Lem]

> "I think a tumor is a bigger deal for a girl like Kaguya than falling off a roof, don't you?"

> Reisen quietly nods in agreement.

> "Time for a shortcut."

> You start to raise your Hakkero to blast a hole in the ceiling. However...

> Be stopped from blowing roof off of Eientei by Alice.

> ...Alice promptly stops you, and suggests the less violent alternative of going through the window.

> Begrudgingly decide to take the long way.

> You decide to follow Alice's suggestion, and fly out the window to the rooftop.
> Upon arrival, you see Kaguya laying there on the rooftop. The position she's in is much like an action figure removed from its toy vehicle, and left on the floor unattended. Kaguya's fingers still twitch and move as if they were typing on an invisible keyboard, and she mumbles to herself all the while. Her face is gaunt and pale, her eyes bloodshot and surrounded by visible black rings. Kaguya also gives off some rather pungent BO, a result of neglecting her hygiene. You and the other girls can't help but wince in shock at this development...Will you suffer the same fate as her?

> _

[capt. h]

Will you suffer the same fate as her?

> "Haven't seen her this bad since Skyrim came out. Guildes must be amazing."

> Perform laser surgery on the tumor. With the master spark.

> "Hey Kaguya, can I join your guild?"

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Haven't seen her this bad since Skyrim came out. Guildes must be amazing."

> Reisen frowns. "You don't wanna know how much time she spent playing that game."

> Perform laser surgery on the tumor. With the master spark.

> You suggest that you just blast the tumor out of Kaguya's head. For once, Eirin doesn't immediately shoot you down. "If it comes to killing her, we can do that, but I'd rather get a sample of the tumor first. I've never seen a malignant specimen like this before."

> "Hey Kaguya, can I join your guild?"

> Kaguya pauses for a second, and stares at you with a blank expression. "Marisa...? When did you start playing?"

> _

[capt. h]

> "Still downloading. But in a couple hours, I'll be able to grow my own magical tumor."

> Turn to Eirin. "Give me a chainsaw, and I'll get you that sample in a heartbeat."

> "Eh, or we can do it the proper way. "

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Still downloading. But in a couple hours, I'll be able to grow my own magical tumor."

> Kaguya blinks at you. "Is that some kind of plant?"

> Turn to Eirin. "Give me a chainsaw, and I'll get you that sample in a heartbeat."

> Eirin shoots you a scolding look...

> "Eh, or we can do it the proper way. "

> ...Then goes to Kaguya. "Just relax, you'll be back on your feet in no time."
> "Do my feet have those +7 boots I just found?" Kaguya says suddenly, as Eirin picks her up. "They're so comfy..." Eirin doesn't give you so much as a second look as she floats back inside the mansion.
> "Sorry..." Reisen finally speaks up again. "She really cares about Kaguya-hime and doesn't want to hurt her more than she should...Even if she is immortal. I hope you'll understand."

> _

[capt. h]

> Follow Eirin.

> "So, can you tell me how the game gives people tumors? I want to know if wearing sunglasses would block it, if it affects animals, if it'll harm anyone in the room watching or if you have to play it, if it's the soundtrack..."

> "I need to know how it spreads before I accidentally give myself brain cancer."

[Third Eye Lem]

> Follow Eirin.

> "So, can you tell me how the game gives people tumors? I want to know if wearing sunglasses would block it, if it affects animals, if it'll harm anyone in the room watching or if you have to play it, if it's the soundtrack..."

> "I need to know how it spreads before I accidentally give myself brain cancer."

> You follow Eirin inside and ask her about the tumor.
> "...It seems to be affecting the victims on a telepathic level," Eirin says in a strict tone, she seems to be upset at you still. "It only seems to affect the person playing the game directly, so any bystanders aren't affected...Unless they're playing too, of course."
> Reisen chimes in. "We're trying to figure out a way to mentally shield ourselves from the game, but so far...No luck. Whatever technology they're using to affect the rabbits is overriding ours...Isn't that a scary thought!"
> "Hardly." Medicine rejoins you as you walk through the corridor. "I don't have a brain to begin with."

> _

[capt. h]

> "Medicine, have you played Guildes?"

[Third Eye Lem]

> "Medicine, have you played Guildes?"

> "Nope, and I don't plan to. Video games are a waste of time for me."

> _

[E-Nazrin]

>"Hey Alice, think it'd be botting if we had Shanghai play for us?"

[Third Eye Lem]

>"Hey Alice, think it'd be botting if we had Shanghai play for us?"

> "Um, I don't see a problem with it, but...I don't think her hands are big enough for the keyboard." Alice giggles.

[Hanzo K.]

>"Telepathic...Hey, isn't that how the moon rabbits communicate? Maybe there's something to that."

[Third Eye Lem]

>"Telepathic...Hey, isn't that how the moon rabbits communicate? Maybe there's something to that."

> Alice nods in confirmation, but oddly enough, Reisen doesn't speak up. As you try to figure out why, you come to a stop right outside Eirin's infirmary once again.
> "Thanks for your help," Eirin says in a begrudging tone. "I won't stop you from providing further aid, but...Don't try to go overboard, ok?" Her tone seems to soften up a bit, as she ponders for a moment before continuing. "As much as I would love to let Reisen assist you, I need her right now to take care of the princess. You are, however, free to take Medicine with you, as promised."
> "Wait, what?" Medicine exclaims. "You're seriously letting me go with these two? After all the crap the black-white witch pulled?"
> Eirin smiles and replies in a calmer tone. "Of course not. Alice-san needs you for her doll magic studies."
> Medicine pouts and crosses her arms, while her mini-self does the same. "Fine...But I'd better be compensated for this."
> "We'll work something out...Provided you return without poisoning them," Eirin adds.
> "Geeze, why not just throw me back in the fields, why don't you..." Medicine shoots back, muttering to herself. Eirin doesn't seem to offended in the slightest by this remark. You're not sure if Eirin's glad to be rid of her (and possibly you and Alice), or if she's glad that she can finally get to treating Kaguya's tumor. Regardless...Medicine reluctantly joins your party.
> "Stay safe, you three!" Reisen says as she joins Eirin in the lab. "If you feel unwell, let us know, ok?" You nod in acknowledgement as Reisen steps into the lab, and closes the door. The light above the door then turns on, with the word "OPERATING" in bright white letters. Unlike most operating room lights, this one is half red, half dark blue, a personal touch no doubt added by Eirin herself.

> Quest Completed! (Doll In The Shadows) -- Alice looks happier now that she has a new subject to study on...Perhaps a little too happy, but that's just your paranoia talking.

> _

[capt. h]

> Whisper to Alice, "I saw that, what are you planning? And don't say 'nothing', I know you too well."

> "Before we take her home, how do you think she'll react to the hundreds of dolls you have 'enslaved'?"