CPSS4: Live Free or Secret Hard! (OPEN THEM NOW!)

[Jq1790]

It really does seem like more people know who their sender was than don't, haha. 

So, when do we see the full chart of who sent to who?

[Rin Kagamine]

So, when do we see the full chart of who sent to who?

Probably after New Year's, hopefully everyone will have posted their results by then.

[HakureiSM]

Agent Hakurei reporting in, Operation Santa Retrieval was much harsher than expected, but ultimately successful.
The shit is now in possession of the Agency, and disclosal shall proceeded as normal.

Stage 1: Proof of Receipt

Portrayed is Agent Sol keeping watch of the shit.



Stage 2: Disclosal

Upon opening of the package, it is revealed to contain a set of peculiar assets. Disclosal procedure will now evaluate each individually.



Stage 3: Befuddlement

Well... this is surely an interesting coincidence. No worries, my heart is jumping with joy, this is hilarious.
DOUBLE HAKUREI POWER



Stage 4: Appreciation

A Cirno glass, and a very very awesome Samurai coaster to go with it.
The glass shall make a noble companion in my nights of ethanol-fueled amusement, the coaster I'm afraid will never see any use, as a means of preservation, as cardboard coasters last a total of 5 days before dissolving into worthlessness in the local humidity.


Closeup of the coaster.



Stage 5: Suspicion

What is this individually-wrapped container in a suspicious, non-protective fashion?



Stage 6: Confusion
[nsfw]http://i49.tinypic.com/1z4y6v9.jpg[/nsfw]
... I am not entirely sure what to think of this. My heart right now is undergoing a very strange mix of emotions.
Better put this away before my mother comes asking what did I get for christmas.



Stage 7: Normality

Last but in no way least, an incredibly awesome Touhou illustration book. I have never owned one of these, and am surprised by the quality of the print, and most of all the quality of the artwork, very very nice.


Hey look, Reimu has a Strato, much like mine!



Stage 8: Conclusion
The shit was posted directly from Japan. Via cross-referencing of classified data, it was concluded that the last remaining Forum members doing field-work in Glorious Nihon are N-Forza and Nietz.
N-Forza was already revealed to have forwarded his loot to user codename Jq1790. Furthermore, the shit came from Ibaraki, further asserting that the blame is on Nietz.

Final review of Sir Nietz:
- Got the address wrong
- Gave me the same thing Pesco gave me last year
- Gave me an artificial vagina.
- Gave me a whole bunch of awesome swag
Rating: Awesome.

Cacete, isso foi sensacional. Brigad?o cara, mesmo!

[Rin Kagamine]

Oh my god I love you Nietz.

[Drake]

Hahahaha holy shit man. GJ.

[Tengukami]

Stage 6: Confusion
[nsfw]http://i49.tinypic.com/1z4y6v9.jpg[/nsfw]
... I am not entirely sure what to think of this. My heart right now is undergoing a very strange mix of emotions.
Better put this away before my mother comes asking what did I get for christmas.

AHAHAhahaahahhahahhaaaha

[Rin Kagamine]

AHAHAhahaahahhahahhaaaha

Have you not picked yours up yet?

[Tengukami]

Have you not picked yours up yet?

It's the second of Christmas. The post office is not open until tomorrow. I have the notice, and will retrieve it tomorrow and post pics.

[Rin Kagamine]

It's the second of Christmas. The post office is not open until tomorrow. I have the notice, and will retrieve it tomorrow and post pics.

Christmas is more than one day there? Damn I'm in the wrong country

[Tengukami]

The Second of Christmas is a mixed blessing. Time off from work, but no one has a party and most places are still closed.

[Jq1790]

I have now had a chance to try the Toppo.  The chocolate one I can't judge, but I've been assured it's really good by those who did eat it.  The strawberry one?  Absolutely delicious, would eat again.  (And I WILL, since I've still got most of my first pouch left, plus the other one.)

[Imosa]

The shit was posted directly from Japan. Via cross-referencing of classified data, it was concluded that the last remaining Forum members doing field-work in Glorious Nihon are N-Forza and Nietz.
N-Forza was already revealed to have forwarded his loot to user codename Jq1790. Furthermore, the shit came from Ibaraki, further asserting that the blame is on Nietz.

With detective work like that I'll have to find a mailing proxy for next year.

[N-Forza]

If you're looking to sell one of those Reimu dolls, I know someone who will take it off your hands.

Assuming you can get the money/ship it out safely, etc.

[HakureiSM]

I'm not sure about that. Isn't it easier to get them straight from there, though?
The one Nietz got me was still neatly wrapped, so I'm assuming he just bought it.

[Nietz]

- Got the address wrong

Derp. :V I also got my cousin's address wrong when I sent him some stuff a while back. I must have selective dyslexia for addresses or something. Also, why do you have so many names, are you royalty or something? :p

- Gave me the same thing Pesco gave me last year

Gahh, major slip. I set out to Akiba looking for some Reimu figurine or similar, and decided on this one on the spot. Should've done some basic detective work previously. But I don't mind if you change or sell it like Forza suggested.

- Gave me an artificial vagina.

What, it's not a dildo, is it? In fact it's the very opposite of one. And now you can "like" Reimu in new and exciting ways! (Lubricant not included, sorry.)
FYI, they also had not-Sakuya, not-Remi and not-Cirno ones. Not to mention not-Miku, not-Madoka, not-K-On, etc, etc...

- Gave me a whole bunch of awesome swag
Rating: Awesome.

Cacete, isso foi sensacional. Brigad?o cara, mesmo!

Glad you liked. But seriously, fuck the Brazilian postal system. Took them 3x the posting time from Japan to process and deliver it from SP to RJ.

As an addendum, I initially planned to send you some local booze as well. A couple of Hitachino Nest microbrew ales (I already drank the other one), which is probably the best thing to ever come out of this sorry excuse for a prefecture. And a bottle of this weeabo umeshu that I found on the liquor store, because why not? Alas, I had even wrapped them in a fuckton of bubble wrap, but when I asked at the post office, they said I couldn't send liquor by mail to Brazil.

 
 

[[Y]oukai [J]esus]

Stage 6: Confusion
[nsfw]http://i49.tinypic.com/1z4y6v9.jpg[/nsfw]
... I am not entirely sure what to think of this. My heart right now is undergoing a very strange mix of emotions.
Better put this away before my mother comes asking what did I get for christmas.

hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHa
sogelly

[HakureiSM]

Derp. :V

Yeah was shite finding where the hell the package ended up, Correios didn't help at all either(they literally told me that they couldn't verify the address for me, and that anyone can sign the receipt and take the package, fuck you sir, nothing that can be done about it). Luckily the doorman of the neighbour address had it(you missed the number by 4 :V) and didn't doubt our story. :V

Also, why do you have so many names, are you royalty or something? :p

No, me dad's a dick. I just use my mother's name to sign things.

Gahh, major slip. I set out to Akiba looking for some Reimu figurine or similar, and decided on this one on the spot. Should've done some basic detective work previously. But I don't mind if you change or sell it like Forza suggested.

Nah it's cool, they look great together. I think I'm keeping them.

(Lubricant not included, sorry.)

... actually, it is.

addendum

Aw damn, that sounds great Weaboo liqueur looks hilarious
Yeah, most countries make it illegal to ship alcohol from and to them, but it's supposedly easy to make it not look like booze.

Also, your customs declaration is hilarious lol. Customs: "2 toys(no batteries)" Reality: "plushie doll and rubber vagina"

[pineyappled]

Started Mistborn! Pretty good so far.

[MatsuriSakuragi]

Gotta love how cavalier and deadpan that note was.

"Have fun."

[Helepolis]

I am not quite sure HakureiSM, but somehow you just entered my book of crazy bros.

Reimu *****hole? Seriously Nietz? I thought you were quite innocent when I ran into you at Tokyo.

[N-Forza]

Actually, where did you get that Reimu doll, Nietz? They're sold out on the Gift Online website.

[Nietz]

Reimu *****hole? Seriously Nietz? I thought you were quite innocent when I ran into you at Tokyo.

Well, I'm frequently described as "quiet" and "mild-mannered" which are adjectives that frequently come between "beware the" and "ones". 

Actually, where did you get that Reimu doll, Nietz? They're sold out on the Gift Online website.

I got it at the Toranoana in Akihabara, they had a couple left when I went there.
Also, is it just me or they did a complete remodeling of the doujin items floor? I remember they used to have way more Touhou stuff before.

[Nobu]

Wow, and here I thought that I sent the most perverted gift. P: Kudos, Nietz.

[Helepolis]

Well, I'm frequently described as "quiet" and "mild-mannered" which are adjectives that frequently come between "beware the" and "ones". 

I don't like sticking clich? labels to people in general (like indeed, beware of the quiet ones), but you leave me no choice!

[Edible]

Nietz rolled scum like five times in a row at some point <3

I opened my gifts and took pictures, but passed out last night before I could upload them.  I will attempt to do so at work today, else I will get to it this evening!

[Rin Kagamine]

I fully expect a trip report filled with shame and regret from you HakureiSM

[HakureiSM]

Yeah you wish

[Suikama]

remember to clean it afterwards :smug:

[Tengukami]

I hate to break up this fascinating conversation about rubber vaginas, but THIS JUST IN!

So, like I said, I got a delivery notice from the post office. I went, picked up the package, came home, and saw a letter for me from California.

"Who the fuck do I know in California?," I asked myself, assuming that this letter can't have anything to do with the package. After all, why wouldn't it just come with the package? Or be in the box itself (which came from Michigan). The only person I remember knowing from California was this cute waitress I used to date back in '94 who had a wicked jealous alcoholic ex-husband. But no, she was from Meth County (a.k.a. Riverside) and this letter is not.

Then I opened the envelope, and everything became clear.



I'm going to transcribe what's written inside, as it doesn't show up on my laptop camera:

Holidays. Holidays never change. What were once days of celebration to spread good cheer have become increasingly commercialized and stressful. But holidays never change.

In light of this season I would like to wish you and yours a very merry season's greetings and a Happy New Year.

Hopefully you'll get some time to brew some tasty cider.

On the back of the card was this adorable Santamaru in thigh-high tights and garters (someone knows me VERY well here). My daughter, by the by, also loves Aya. Her she is making her sign for "bird" as we show the card:



Ah, but the package. That's the main deal. Well, here it is:



A whole bunch of ingredients for making 5 gallons (that's about 19 litres to the rest of the world) of hard cider - just add apple juice! As I already brew cider - and the person who sent this is aware of this - I fortunately have the equipment I need to ferment, siphon and bottle this stuff. If I start brewing now, I'll have 25 wine bottles of hard cider by first thaw.

The theme for 2013 is going to be "fuck sobriety".

Thank you, Secret Santa, whoever you are. This was clearly a personalized gift with my interests at heart, from Fallout to Aya to booze. I'll be sure to toast you Monday night!

[Nobu]

THANK YOU PURVIS  :blush: