what...?
....
I don't know if the following will save us or kill us, but.....
> "...but I realize that a maiden such as yourself deserves proper honour and respect. As such, I shall arrange to have our unmarried state rectified swiftly. If you would have me, this humble traveller of the barren path...I know you deserve far more than the likes of me, but, as the deed is done...would you have me? I promise you, I shall make you the happiest, drunkest oni in existence. You, and all my other future brides, shall have nothing but the very best, that much I promise."