Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Hakurei Shrine~ => Touhou Addict Recovery Center => Topic started by: Abraham Lincoln on December 04, 2014, 01:00:41 AM

Title: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 04, 2014, 01:00:41 AM
A follow-up to the previous What If thread.


What if Touhou x Five Nights at Freddy's?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Failure McFailFace on December 04, 2014, 03:56:17 AM
This (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PagZupYw0AU)

What if there was a Touhou game based around dice?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MewMewHeart on December 04, 2014, 04:19:22 AM
What if there was a Touhou game based around dice?
Can we have a 100% Orange Juice like Touhou game PLEASE ZUUUUUUUUN PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!! No seriously that would be awesome.

What if there was a Touhou version of the Professor Layton series games?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on December 04, 2014, 06:21:56 AM
All puzzles are solved using bullet hells.  "Violence" solves everything!

What if Hina laughs at your misfortune?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on December 04, 2014, 08:03:19 AM
You'll growl at her fortune.

What if Touhou took place in China instead of Japan?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 04, 2014, 10:26:34 AM
Remilia will be a jiangshi.

What if Bill Cipher was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on December 04, 2014, 01:05:23 PM
What if Touhou took place in China instead of Japan?
Touhou 15 - Eastern Gate Guard's Body. Meiling caught a strange disease that quickly spread to the rest of the cast. The heroine somehow (varies by player) shrinks to micro level and enters the scarlet gate keeper, hoping to find a cure. Ganeplay mechanic involves maintaining Meiling's blood pressure and fixing anomolies in her system. The final boss is the virus, which is actually a computer virus that broke the game's code. The Extra boss is the dragon sleeping in Meiling's heart.

(Sorry, couldn't resist).
What if Bill Cipher was a 2hu?
This is what eventually happens to bad satoris who seal their third eye. The eye gets angry, removes itself from the body, becomes triangular, and dresses particularly well.

What if Lily White were the main heroine?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on December 04, 2014, 01:37:41 PM
Remilia will be a jiangshi.
Jiangshi are actually considered zombies, not vampires.

Anyway...

Every game's plot now has to do with spring being threatened.

What if Koakuma is secretly plotting to take over the world all this time?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on December 04, 2014, 05:34:34 PM
She's been trying to since EoSD but just hasn't had the time. She can only do it during her work break or Patchouli will scold her.

What if all the nameless PC-98 midbosses went on strike?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on December 04, 2014, 09:40:08 PM
Then it wouldn't matter because they don't work no more.

What if all the ZUNpets were replaced by the kazoo from Yoshi's New Island? :trollface:
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Yookie on December 05, 2014, 12:45:00 AM
The player characters would also have feet that look like planks of wood.
Or riots. I guess the latter.

What if the events of the Touhou game are actually in reverse and we are approaching a beginning rather than a theoretical end?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on December 05, 2014, 12:52:45 AM
What if the events of the Touhou game are actually in reverse and we are approaching a beginning rather than a theoretical end?

Then it is revealed that the events of the Touhou games are actually a recursive timeline, and the "end" will involve Reimu or another major character being sent back in time to make a Stable Time Loop.

What if Giratina (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Giratina_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29) showed up in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on December 05, 2014, 12:56:19 AM
What if the events of the Touhou game are actually in reverse and we are approaching a beginning rather than a theoretical end?
Then PC-98 happens in the future, so that means Mima already made a reapparance, and if she had to make an inital appearance in the past to reappear in the future. In other words, Mima's guranteed to show up some before the last touhou game!
I'm too slow -_-
What if Giratina (http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Giratina_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29) showed up in Gensokyo?
This (https://www.google.com/search?redir_esc=&client=ms-android-sprint-us&hl=en-US&safe=images&oe=utf-8&q=moemon%20giratina&source=android-browser-type&qsubts=1417741521763#facrc=_&imgrc=hkTozsR8pJEPZM%253A%3Bundefined%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fstatic.zerochan.net%252FGiratina.full.354944.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.poneyvallee.com%252Fforum%252Fviewtopic.php%253Fid%253D490%2526p%253D4%3B1110%3B940). Besides that, it would fid the gap to be a suitable alternative to the distortion world, but evnetually leave it's new home because of the inevitable mindscrew it causes.

What if Isami Asama were playable in Immaterial and Missing Power?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Koneko on December 08, 2014, 01:13:48 PM
Then we will not need Easy, Normal or Hard mode anymore

What if Touhou is Far Cry 5 (Or 15, whatever) ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Biakmon on March 06, 2015, 03:27:02 PM
What if Touhou is Far Cry 5 (Or 15, whatever) ?

Then touhou may finally become a multi-player base danmaku shooter game and we will have to use danmaku as base projectile while shooting at different youkai...

What if touhou characters were to react at 'What color is this dress' video? (Blue and Black or White and Gold)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on March 06, 2015, 03:39:06 PM
What if touhou characters were to react at 'What color is this dress' video? (Blue and Black or White and Gold)

Then Koishi and Nue will have fun messing with everyone by continuously changing how the color looks confusing everyone in gensokyo except Satori.

What if Sakurai quit smash bros just so he could help Zun with Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MewMewHeart on March 06, 2015, 05:22:29 PM
Then we would have a Touhou smash (don't kill me) game with Zun and Sakurai at the helm with Tasforo.

What if Touhou X Kancolle happened?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chronojet ⚙ Dragon on March 06, 2015, 06:55:12 PM
What if Touhou X Kancolle happened?

I'm pretty sure this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeWIvPU60KQ) would be inevitable.

Sooner or later.

What if Seija found a way into the outside world...?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on March 06, 2015, 07:02:42 PM
What if Seija found a way into the outside world...?

You have to look down at the sky and move your right arm by thinking about moving your left one.

What if Shizuha was the series most famous character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LunaWillow on March 06, 2015, 07:08:16 PM
Flan and Remilia would lack popularity.

What if Touhou were rebooted again (like PC98 - Windows) and only Reimu, Marisa, Lily White and Unzan would make it through?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MewMewHeart on March 06, 2015, 07:32:40 PM
Flan and Remilia would lack popularity.

What if Touhou were rebooted again (like PC98 - Windows) and only Reimu, Marisa, Lily White and Unzan would make it through?
Then every other Touhou character would be like Mima "A MEME OR A JOKE".

What if Touhou became a browser game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 06, 2015, 07:57:00 PM
Then every other Touhou character would be like Mima "A MEME OR A JOKE".

What if Touhou became a browser game?
It would be like Bullet Heaven.

What if Rumia was main character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on March 06, 2015, 08:27:24 PM
The adventures of the youkai of darkness begins in fittingly dark forest. She was a nice and playful youkai, but she is looked down upon for being clumsy and having the ability to manipulate darkness. One day this youkai had a plan to spread darkness to everyone in Gensokyo, hoping to share how she feels with everyone. She must teach Gensokyo that being surrounded by darkness isn't scary, it's actually fun!
So Na No Ka!


Whoah almost forgot to put a what if

What if ZUN made a platformer?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MewMewHeart on March 06, 2015, 10:59:15 PM
Possibly it'll either be like Mystic Chain, Super Marisa World, or possibly MegaMari like.

What if Zun made a puzzle game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on March 06, 2015, 11:51:30 PM
What if Zun made a puzzle game?
It would be solving a giant Rubik's Cube while dodging bullets that are being fired by both the Rubik's Cube and several touhou characters that just happen to be flying by. And the extra stage turns the Rubik's Cube into a Tsukumogami that will constantly reset itself if you take too long to solve a side.

What if Touhou x Super Meat Boy?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on March 07, 2015, 07:29:18 AM
Many a keyboard would be broke.

What if Youmu was a Half-Zombie instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on March 07, 2015, 11:00:35 AM
It took me some time to figure out what a half-human, half-zombie would be like, judging from how Youmu's ghost half is represented by a spirit floating around her person, I'd say that a half-zombie Youmu would probably have a rotting, deformed lower body hovering about her.

Now that I think about it, that would be very creepy.

What if Touhou Beethoven?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: AlterEgo on March 07, 2015, 11:19:14 AM
We'll have this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RamVI1GIZjo)

What if Alice has her own personal maid?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 07, 2015, 04:45:53 PM
She would be made of dolls.

What if Yamame could induce Ebola?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on March 07, 2015, 05:04:27 PM
She probably can already. But otherwise, anybody who she infects would have a much worse time.

What if Nitori met Genji.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LunaWillow on March 07, 2015, 05:13:04 PM
Blastoise would happen.

What if 2hu strategy game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 07, 2015, 05:29:32 PM
It all goes well until Satori shows up.

What if BENBEN drowned?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LunaWillow on March 07, 2015, 07:00:31 PM
It all goes well until Satori shows up.

What if BENBEN drowned?
Brace yourself, Happy Mask Tsukumogami is coming.

What if Kanako was in HM?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on March 07, 2015, 08:10:22 PM
She probably would have made the situation worse by trying to gain faith somehow.


What if the third legendary oni appeared?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on March 07, 2015, 08:27:06 PM
Gensokyo develps a Sake shortage.

What if Gensokyo was in Britain?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Raikaria on March 07, 2015, 11:28:00 PM
Brace yourself, Happy Mask Tsukumogami is coming.

What if Kanako was in HM?

She is. As a background character.

She's probobly learnt her lesson after each of her actions causes her to get less faith; not more. MoF she managed to make the Tengu hate her. Then she caused SA by feeding Utusho Yatagarasu; which freed the Ship which caused UFO and thus released Byakuren and created the Myouren Temple. Then the faith the Myouren Temple was collecting on top of Miko's Mausoleum caused Miko to wake up. Which wouldn't have happened if the Ship was never freed; which would not have happened if Kanako did not empower Utusho. It's questionable if Kokoro would have lost her mask of hope and Koishi would have found it without Kanako's actions; but the 'Religious War' would not have happened if not for Kanako's prior actions. [It's also questionable if Koishi would have reacted to the mask the same if she had never met Reimu/Marisa]

Seriously. Kanako dun goofed. I wouldn't be surprised if Utusho got more faith than her from Satori's other pets [Such as the other ravens] worshiping her.

Gensokyo develps a Sake shortage.

What if Gensokyo was in Britain?

They would be drinking Beer; not Sake; and Marisa would be dressed as an EASTERN Magician.

What if the Oni decided to come back to the surface to reclaim Youkai Mountain?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 08, 2015, 02:08:14 AM
They do it by having a drinking contest with the Tengu. Which side comes out victorious is an entirely different matter, since both races have high alcohol tolerance...

What if Gensokyo is in the Korean Peninsula?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on March 08, 2015, 02:22:00 AM
What if Gensokyo is in the Korean Peninsula?
Then there will be an elaborate conspiracy involving the Moriya Shrine and Kim Jong-un. DUN DUN DUN! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QrmgZYKli0)

What if Byakuren vs. Mega Satan? (http://youtu.be/UfMHqYBP9zc?t=1m29s)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 08, 2015, 06:40:31 AM
They must have done something seriously wrong to get Mumumu to do that 0_0

What if the Hakurei god were actually Oyashiro-sama (http://whentheycry.wikia.com/wiki/Oyashiro-sama)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on March 08, 2015, 07:04:23 AM
What if the Hakurei god were actually Oyashiro-sama (http://whentheycry.wikia.com/wiki/Oyashiro-sama)?

Touhou would be a crossover.

What if Yuyuko actually managed to eat Myon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 08, 2015, 10:01:17 AM
Touhou would be a crossover.

What if Yuyuko actually managed to eat Myon?
She would become a super ghost.

What if Hell's Nuclear Furnace was an underground lake?

Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 08, 2015, 06:30:35 PM
What if Hell's Nuclear Furnace was an underground lake?

Satori would be fined for groundwater pollution.

What if the Five Magic Stones became a playable character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on March 08, 2015, 07:24:33 PM
Satori would be fined for groundwater pollution.

What if the Five Magic Stones became a playable character?

You'd use 31 keys to control them.

What if ZUN promised never to put Mima in future Touhous?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on March 08, 2015, 08:09:25 PM
Everyone get your shields, prepare for the complaints.


What if Orange really was Hong Meiling?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 09, 2015, 12:46:39 AM
Cue Touhou 5.5: , a game which properly explains the transition from PC-98 to Windows. With one of the multiple playable story arc being how Orange became Hong Meiling, and how she came to be the SDM Gate Guard.

What if there's a conspiracy in Gensokyo, but it has nothing to do with the Moriya Shrine in any way?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 09, 2015, 01:45:28 AM
Sanae would be a playable character, attacking the culprit for stealing her slogan.

What if every character in ULiL were actually Mamizou in disguise?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 09, 2015, 03:31:42 AM
Anatomical models and toilet-ghouls with fluffy tails.

What if Touhou became a pay-to-play mobile dating sim?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on March 09, 2015, 04:07:34 AM
What if Touhou became a pay-to-play mobile dating sim?

This community wouldn't exist.

What if ZUN decided to open source his games?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 09, 2015, 07:11:09 PM
What if ZUN decided to open source his games?

Please include PC-98 please include PC-98 please include PC-98 ...

The derivatives would be eerily similar to Danmakufu.

What if Yukari is actually Renko?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 10, 2015, 01:07:00 AM
Then who is Maribel?

What if the USA posts soldiers in Gensokyo to put an end to its ongoing "civil war"?*
*Danmaku Warfare and Incidents may be viewed by the UN as civil wars, and considering how crazy the Spell Cards can be... You get the idea...
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 10, 2015, 01:49:09 AM
I was going to say something like "Reimu would solve the incident" and then make a joke about Obama being a youkai, but then I realised the implications =P

What if Sakuya found her Magical Sakuya-chan Star (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7LwseRYslew)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: FlareDragon on March 10, 2015, 04:14:01 AM
First she would appear in Touhou 15, 16 and probably 16.5. Then she would question why an orb could possibly control "playable"-ness and probably throw it into the lake again. She would then fade away into obscurity and get made fun of by Yumeko

What if Concealed the Conclusion (http://"http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Concealed_the_Conclusion") was actually canon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 10, 2015, 09:11:11 AM
It will be the very last game in the series. After that, no more official games.

What if Gensokyo gets personified in Hetalia?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 10, 2015, 09:59:29 AM
What if Gensokyo gets personified in Hetalia?
Gensokyo would be portrayed as a cheerful, energetic young girl who locks herself in her room and marvels at anything that blows in through the window.

I thought of a longer, more detailed response to a question I answered a few rounds back.
What if ZUN decided to open source his games?
Development of Open Touhou would fracture into two groups: Those who would loyally follow ZUN for all he's done for the series so far, and those who would see him a dictator for his strict creative control. After an fearsome flame war, the groups would part ways and the latter of the two would develop a fork called YITIYARNS (an acronym for "YITIYARNS Isn't Touhou It's Yet Another Recursively-Named Shooter"). YITIYARNS would run on GNU/Linux, Unix, Mac OS X, BSD, and Amiga OS, with a third-party port for Windows. The KDE build would be named Kouhou. YITIYARNS would use twice the resources of Open Touhou, but the bug report would be closed as "will not fix" because the problem would actually be caused by a shortcoming in Qt.

Due to nuances in trademark law, YITIYARNS wouldn't be able to use Open Touhou's artwork. The sprite format would be backwards compatible, but using OT's data files may be illegal in your jurisdiction (contact your lawyer before installing). To work around this, YITIYARNS 0.1.6 would star ReiGNU, a generic "anime" girl with a penguin T-shirt and ten shot types. The bosses would be based on Microsoft products that had become fantasy through obsolescence (Wingdows 3milia Scarlet). These characters would be intended to be temporary stand-ins, but YITIYARNS would never really find a skilled enough character designer to replace them.

YITIYARNS 3.0 Beta would be incompatible with previous versions, but would include a new playable character named Hurdmima, as well as a built-in web browser for automatically downloading and installing fan-made stages. Unfortunately, years would pass without the release of a stable version. As for Open Touhou itself, it would soon be superseded by a closed-source rewrite.


What if Touhou gained mainstream recognition and praise because of a fighter, while the shooters remained relatively obscure?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 10, 2015, 06:49:23 PM
What if Touhou gained mainstream recognition and praise because of a fighter, while the shooters remained relatively obscure?
It would spawn a spin-off series of fighters separate from the shooters and they will have wildly different storylines, causing confusion between fans and various arguments about Reimu's favorite fruit, for some reason.

What if the entirety of the dialog was rewritten by a black twitter user?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 10, 2015, 08:40:56 PM
What if the entirety of the dialog was rewritten by a black twitter user?

Absolutely nothing would change, because that's racist. Now if it were a woman writing it...

What if ZUN turned out to be a girl all along?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on March 10, 2015, 08:47:22 PM
What if ZUN turned out to be a girl all along?
Then ZUN's son'll discover later that he has been adopted.

What if Unzan bought a bicycle ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 10, 2015, 10:25:25 PM
What if Unzan bought a bicycle ?

"Look, Ichirin! No feet!"

What if the Aki sisters designed perfume?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on March 10, 2015, 10:30:57 PM
What if the Aki sisters designed perfume?
It would smell like baked potatoes.

What if Reimu became Batman?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 11, 2015, 12:30:33 AM
More like Bat-Miko...

What if Gensokyo joins the UN?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MewMewHeart on March 11, 2015, 02:02:22 AM
What if Gensokyo joins the UN?

Then Reimu would be solving the incidents although.... we would have to deal with danmaku rules.

What if Reimu discovered the secret of green tea? (HERPDERP QUESTION)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 11, 2015, 02:41:24 AM
What if Reimu discovered the secret of green tea? (HERPDERP QUESTION)

Then she would never go back.

What if Cirno became a Taoist?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 11, 2015, 03:24:42 AM
She would go on an adventure seeking immortality, only to learn that she was immortal all along.

What if Fairy Wars 2 starred Elfin Mint?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on March 11, 2015, 10:57:46 AM
It would create tons of controversy among the fandom because ZUN just promoted a fanmade character.

(But hey, we've already got Shinmyoumaru, who looks like a cross between Elfin and the kodama from MPP!)

What if Vladimir Len'en?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 11, 2015, 01:20:51 PM
What if Vladimir Len'en?
Inter-dimensional communist alien zombie robots or something.

What if Touhou received a gritty reboot?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on March 11, 2015, 01:47:28 PM
What if Touhou received a gritty reboot?
There'll be a gritty reaction from the community.

What if Patchouli got treatment from Eirin ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on March 11, 2015, 03:18:31 PM
What if Patchouli got treatment from Eirin ?
Patchy : "Wow, unreal... My gosh. This is amazing! I feel incredibllllllle! Yes, yes, yes, yes! I can win! I feel great! I! Can! Do! This!"

What if Yukari replaced Reimu as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 11, 2015, 05:02:50 PM
What if Yukari replaced Reimu as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden?

The bew Hakurei Shrine Maiden would never lose a fight...wait.
Human villagers would avoid the shrine because it would now be full of youkai...hang on.
The new Hakurei Shrine Maiden would do a lot of lazing around...no.

Nothing changes.

What if Reimu is actually Yukari?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 11, 2015, 05:07:59 PM
What if Reimu is actually Yukari?
Marisa is phone.

What if Koakuma was a sentient tornado?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on March 11, 2015, 05:18:43 PM
What if Koakuma was a sentient tornado?

Well they just say Patchouli is western not specifically where in the west she's from. And since it's part of Australia, which was taken over by the British, I suppose she might have been from Tasmania?

What if the ULiL silhouette never appeared in the actual game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: FlareDragon on March 11, 2015, 11:14:43 PM
What if the ULiL silhouette never appeared in the actual game?
Then it'd become an Urban Legend, left in Limbo...
...
...
...it'd then appear in Touhou 15, because it would've become forgotten in the real world...
...
...
...and tacos would start raining from Gensokyo's skies? Yeah. That must be the punchline. Tacos

What if every character was a Kappa instead (except for Aya)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on March 12, 2015, 12:46:34 AM
What if every character was a Kappa instead (except for Aya)?

Those guys would never snatch her shirikodama because they're too slow.

What if Yukari needed to buy a pack of cigarettes?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 12, 2015, 01:44:45 AM
Yukari doesn't need to buy any cigarettes. She just gaps an entire warehouse worth (or as much as she needs) to her approximate location.

What if the War On Terror was orchestrated by Yukari as a plan to collapse Outside World society?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on March 12, 2015, 03:08:42 PM
Then all the conspiracy theorists would start saying, "Danmaku can't melt steel beams."

What if Touhou was a space opera?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on March 12, 2015, 03:49:22 PM
It would be directed by Eirin.


What if the Tsukumo sisters pair up with the Prismrivers to start a band?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on March 13, 2015, 11:01:36 PM
East-meets-West style music. Personally I love that kind of multicultural stuff.

What if Remilia was actually Beethoven?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Failure McFailFace on March 13, 2015, 11:12:47 PM
Beethoven was an eastern vampire (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeethovenWasAnAlienSpy)

What if danmaku was real?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on March 14, 2015, 12:00:03 AM
It is real, try to take a highway in reverse. (Don't, though.)

What if Kirby appeared in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 14, 2015, 12:57:55 AM
Yuyuko and Kirby will marry each other and have a child. The rest is up to you...

What if the Watatsuki Sisters appears in one of the games as bosses?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Leon゠Helsing on March 14, 2015, 02:22:30 AM
Len'en's Absurdly Extra mode-level spells on Easy mode, and it only gets worse from there. :V

What if AM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_No_Mouth,_and_I_Must_Scream_%28video_game%29) is turned into a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: FlareDragon on March 14, 2015, 10:25:51 PM
What if AM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_No_Mouth,_and_I_Must_Scream_%28video_game%29) is turned into a 2hu?
Well the Stage 1 boss of that game would have to be a mouth-less ooze. With that out of the way, AM would be a 3-part boss being represented by 3 separate "characters" that are actually all him. They would probably be named Id, Ego and Supergego and would attack in 3 different ways: Id being more direct, Ego attacking with more trick-like patterns and Supergego using illusion-like attack (think Sakuya, other trick-based cards). The character itself would have a hate for humans but find youkai intruiging. I have no clue what the incident could be, but the Extra Stage would have to be related to the Lunarians.

...I think that's everything

What if the events of Koumajou Densetsu: Scarlet Symphony (http://"http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Koumajou_Densetsu:_Scarlet_Symphony") (aka, Touhouvania) were canon, except that the Scarlet Castle didn't have to get torn down?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on March 16, 2015, 12:10:25 AM
What if the events of Koumajou Densetsu: Scarlet Symphony (http://"http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Koumajou_Densetsu:_Scarlet_Symphony") (aka, Touhouvania) were canon, except that the Scarlet Castle didn't have to get torn down?
Then Koumajou Densetsu II: Stranger's Requiem will also be canon, but it would be using the original castle instead of a rebuilt one.

What if we got a Touhou version of Cannibal! The Musical (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibal!_The_Musical)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on April 23, 2015, 12:33:44 AM
Starring Ex-Rumia?

What if the age of everyone in Gensokyo were reversed, and the Old Maids Alliance became the only Lolis?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Espadas on April 23, 2015, 08:45:00 AM
Then the fanon would be buried under an avalanche of MOE-CHIBI-YUUKA

What if in the next main game Youki finally show up as one of the bosses?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on April 23, 2015, 06:17:51 PM
Then the fanon would be buried under an avalanche of MOE-CHIBI-YUUKA

What if in the next main game Youki finally show up as one of the bosses?
Then he'd better explain where he has been all this time.

What if sealed Rumia is actually Mima?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on April 24, 2015, 12:43:54 AM
ZUN: Stop asking for Mima! She's right here... *points at Rumia* ...all along!

What if Gensokyo broke off from Japan during World War 2 instead of the Meiji Era?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on April 24, 2015, 03:31:41 AM
By then most of the youkai would have died out so we'd be left with these (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kantai_Collection).

What if Tojiko is the evolved form of Mima?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on April 25, 2015, 07:47:09 PM
What if Tojiko is the evolved form of Mima?

Then there will be much outcry from the fandom.

What if Utsuho played poker against Satori?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on April 25, 2015, 09:05:08 PM
"Do you have any threes?"
"It's Poker, Utsuho."
"Oh okay. Go fish."
"It's Poker. Utsuho."
"Yeah, yeah. I play this card!"
"*thud*"
"Unyu, Satori-sama?"

What if Marisa was french?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chronojet ⚙ Dragon on April 26, 2015, 12:15:38 AM
What if Marisa was french?
"Danmaku est le puissance, non?"

What if Vinkawars (White Names Spoiled Past) had actual involvement in the events of Fairy Wars?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Plastic Vortex on April 26, 2015, 12:59:06 AM
(Assuming that she'd be the final boss) The Fairies in the game would probably argue with each other as she has the ability to start quarrels. Cirno just freezes them all. She is at war, so it negates the effect? :V

What would happen if Kaguya stood in front of Utsuho?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on April 26, 2015, 03:05:08 AM
What would happen if Kaguya stood in front of Utsuho?

The endless cycle of death and rebirth.

What if Minoriko's grapes were her main body?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on April 26, 2015, 03:06:29 AM
What if Minoriko's grapes were her main body?

Then she'd better watch out for Yuyuko.

What if Flandre and Koishi had a rap battle?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on April 27, 2015, 03:56:16 PM
Flandre would probably win, Koishi is just a sub-conscience after all.
Either that or Koishi would make it seem to everyone else that she won even though Flandre did.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on April 27, 2015, 04:17:33 PM
What if Ichirin was the fighter and Unzan was the hitbox?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on April 28, 2015, 12:57:57 AM
The "hitbox" will be gigantic and thus, impossible to miss no matter how horrible a shot you are.

What if the 9-11 Attack is caused by Gensokyians, and not al-Qaeda insurgents hijacking the plane?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on April 28, 2015, 01:14:33 AM
We'd be burning Touhou stuff instead.

What if Marisa stole all the books from the library?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on April 28, 2015, 05:11:12 AM
Marisa's house will be Patchy's new library.

What if Shining Needle Castle is no longer inverted?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on April 28, 2015, 06:36:42 AM
Seija's brain would implode. "It's upside down, but since it was already upside down that means it's right side up. And since it's right side up, that means I should reverse it so it's upside down. But if I make it upside down, it'll be right again..."

What if Kasen didn't show up in the final version of Urban Legend in Limbo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on April 28, 2015, 08:37:05 AM
What if Kasen didn't show up in the final version of Urban Legend in Limbo?
She'll hijack LoLK

What if Sakuya got fired ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on April 28, 2015, 09:20:38 AM
What if Sakuya got fired ?
You just found the plot of Koumajou Densetsu III.

What if Touhou characters had cellphones?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on April 28, 2015, 01:50:22 PM
What if Touhou characters had cellphones?

They will all become tsukumogami, cue touhou 16

What if BlazBlue-style touhou fighting game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on May 10, 2015, 12:59:25 PM
BlazBlue-style attacks as Spell cards.

What if Touhou X Alien crossover?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Agent17 on May 10, 2015, 06:02:14 PM
Then Nue's need to hide quick.

What if Touhou 16's accident happened because Yukari messed up with boundaries ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on May 10, 2015, 11:37:30 PM
What if Touhou 16's accident happened because Yukari messed up with boundaries ?
Then the stage 6 or extra boss of Touhou 16 will be Yukari.

What if, during a raid on the SDM, Marisa fires a Master Spark which hits Sakuya's Pocketwatch at the exact moment Sakuya decides to manipulate time?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on May 11, 2015, 12:36:54 AM
Time will freeze forever and Sakuya will be the only one able to move. Let that take what you will...

What if Touhou X Predator crossover?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on May 12, 2015, 02:04:10 AM
What if Touhou X Predator crossover?

[attachimg=1]
Source (http://seiga.nicovideo.jp/seiga/im3881530). This artist would be ready.

What if Reimu got a tattoo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 12, 2015, 07:16:38 AM
It would be located on her armpits.

What if ZUN was a woman?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on May 12, 2015, 10:22:52 AM
It would be located on her armpits.

What if ZUN was a woman?
Then all the characters would be the opposite gender.

What Tewi is the Extra Boss of LoLK?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on May 12, 2015, 12:49:51 PM
She will show up as a teenager.

What if the next game has over the top violence?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Leon゠Helsing on May 12, 2015, 04:30:24 PM
Just like with Mortal Kombat, we should play a "shit they shouldn't have survived but did anyway" drinking game.

Parasite Eve The 3rd Birthday spoilers I guess:
What if Aya Brea (http://parasiteeve.wikia.com/wiki/Aya_Brea#The_3rd_Birthday)'s soul got reincarnated into Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on May 20, 2015, 04:49:06 PM
The she'll bring a new fashion in Gensokyo :V

What if Doremy met Freddy Krueger?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on May 20, 2015, 04:55:57 PM
What if Doremy met Freddy Krueger?
She will end following him around. Forever. Because he's practically a free food source.

What if Reimu and/or Yukari found a way to weaponize Gensokyo's boundary?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on May 21, 2015, 01:11:46 AM
Invoke the power of the barrier. You get pwned.

What if the existence of Gensokyo becomes known to the entire world?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on May 21, 2015, 01:45:18 AM
What if the existence of Gensokyo becomes known to the entire world?
One of three things:
1. Gensokyo becomes a warzone, because every powerful nation is going want access to the nuclear fusion reactor. Leading to conflict. Which is further complicated by Gensokyo's inhabitants defending themselves.
2. Gensokyo becomes a tourist attraction.
3. Gensokyo gains recognition as an independent nation and somehow ends up becoming part of the United Nations.

What if Gensokyo became part of the United Nations?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on May 21, 2015, 02:33:09 AM
What if Gensokyo became part of the United Nations?

"Ms. Yakumo, tear down this border!"

What if Parsee were zealous instead of jealous?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on May 21, 2015, 02:40:03 AM
"Nah, too much effort."

What if Gensokyo developed magitech? Still magical, but their own technology. Like if gods or ambient magic or the Great Hakurei Barrier powered it.

And Parsee would be a monk, or a fanatic. Or something.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on May 21, 2015, 03:56:36 AM
What if Gensokyo developed magitech? Still magical, but their own technology. Like if gods or ambient magic or the Great Hakurei Barrier powered it.
Then gods and many powerful youkai will be unwillingly turned into crystals called "Magicite" and then used to power kappa-built suits of armor that can fire weapons imbued with a magical property. Gensokyo will then gradually become a totalitarian empire that runs off said Magicite, and a resistance group will eventually form to strike out against the empire.

Thumbs up if anyone gets what game's plot I'm referencing.

What if a Leviathan (http://metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Leviathan) from the Metroid Prime series impacted and brought Phazon (http://metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Phazon) to Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on May 21, 2015, 09:21:34 AM
Then gods and many powerful youkai will be unwillingly turned into crystals called "Magicite" and then used to power kappa-built suits of armor that can fire weapons imbued with a magical property. Gensokyo will then gradually become a totalitarian empire that runs off said Magicite, and a resistance group will eventually form to strike out against the empire.

Thumbs up if anyone gets what game's plot I'm referencing.

FFIII/FFVI I'm pretty sure.

What if a Leviathan (http://metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Leviathan) from the Metroid Prime series impacted and brought Phazon (http://metroid.wikia.com/wiki/Phazon) to Gensokyo?

Then Samus would follow soon after and the place would explode, per the norm.

What if Byakuren was possessed by Shinki?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on May 21, 2015, 01:08:44 PM
Youkai Jesus suddenly acting like Youkai Satan(?) is sure to draw attention from the heroines. Cue the next (fan)game...

What if Gensokyo became one of Japan's prefectures?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 21, 2015, 02:17:26 PM
It would become a tourist attraction as so many Touhou fans would want to make their pilgrimage there to see their favourite characters in the flesh. Meanwhile, Reimu has to establish new rules in order to prevent the resident youkai from attacking the tourists and vice versa.

What if Benedict Arnold was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Wolfolotl on May 23, 2015, 04:22:46 AM
Touhou 17.76: Strategic Betrayal of Unified Schism

what if it was discovered that Soga no Tojiko is the most powerful youkai in Gensokyo but is just too well-mannered deep down to go lord it over people?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on May 23, 2015, 09:34:39 AM
what if it was discovered that Soga no Tojiko is the most powerful youkai in Gensokyo but is just too well-mannered deep down to go lord it over people?
She'll join the "Didn't fight at my full power" club, presided by Alice.

What if Touhou live action ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on May 23, 2015, 08:22:47 PM
What if Touhou live action ?
It will be a full live action motion picture adaptation of EoSD directed by Micheal Bay, and it will end up being a complete bomb, and the resulting rage from the fandom will be tremendous.

What if Great Fairy Wars: The Musical?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 24, 2015, 02:09:25 AM
Springtime for the Cirno and the player~
Winter for Sunny and co.~

(Springtime for Hitler reference)

What if Soga no Tojiko was actually the ghost of Nikola Tesla?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on May 24, 2015, 04:00:16 AM
Then Futo would be Thomas Edison.

What if Youkai Mountain erupted?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on May 24, 2015, 04:03:09 AM
Utsuho will be the first to blame.

What if Yukari is in the Fuhrer-Bunker in the Hitler Rants Parodies, working together with Fegelein to pull some antics?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 25, 2015, 06:26:23 AM
G?nsche: Gruppenf?hrer Fegelein is nowhere to be found. Yukari Yakumo has taken him with her.

Hitler: What do you mean taken with her? Touhous don't exist!

I want to speak with Fegelein! At once!

If Touhous really do exist and he has been abducted by the ugly gap monstrosity, then he most certainly has formulated a plan to use her in his dastardly antics. So, we're screwed!

Bring me that damned Fegelein!

Fegelein!

Fegelein!



What if Beethoven was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on May 25, 2015, 06:45:45 AM
He would be a musical vampire with a theme of "Septette for the Dead Musician."

What if Doremy Sweet is actually Doraemon's real sister?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 25, 2015, 06:48:31 AM
Then Doraemon would be a robotic tapir instead of a robotic cat.

What if ZUN occasionally views deviantART, danbooru, this site and fanmade games such as Marine Benefit to look at various Touhou OCs to get ideas for his new characters?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Sssgth on May 25, 2015, 02:43:06 PM
They'll all get the special treatment.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/11f48b55d22874e2e264812923d8d376/tumblr_mocmstycRj1r2k180o1_500.jpg

What if Fantasy Seal Life?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 30, 2015, 12:22:19 AM
Bosses will regain health instead of getting damaged when you use it on them.

What if ZUN lurks these forums?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on May 30, 2015, 12:40:25 AM
What if ZUN lurks these forums?
Then he either knows English better than we thought, or he's using Google Translate; in which case ---> それから彼は私たちが思ったよりも英語より良く知っているか、彼はGoogle Translateを使用しています。その場合、

Apparently, before Mountain of Faith, there was some uncertainty over whether or not Reimu's magic charms would work against a goddess. What if when she reached Sanae (the living goddess) and attacked, nothing had happened? How would she deal with Kanako?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on May 31, 2015, 04:04:45 AM
Then Kanako's dastardly plot to leech all the faith from Gensokyo would ultimately succeed and crush the Hakurei Shrine out, destroying any chance of establishing friendly relations with it.

What if I was actually ZUN?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on May 31, 2015, 08:48:14 AM
OMG it's the Chief Priest! *Gives a cargo ship full of beer*

What if ZUN is known famously for Seihou instead of Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on May 31, 2015, 07:56:46 PM
OMG it's the Chief Priest! *Gives a cargo ship full of beer*

What if ZUN is known famously for Seihou instead of Touhou?
Symposium of Post Scientifism. The newly representatives of various factions are reunited, to discuss about how Saboten energy should be exploited, and makes various theories about it. Also, a doctor who might’ve been added as a new character would totally create a drug that’ll allow you to experience the probable future for Seihou 15

What if Touhou fighting games were like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx0gN5vROLg) ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 01, 2015, 10:09:25 AM
Then all shooters would be inspired by cho-aniki.

What if koishi is the villian behind every single incident and everyone just never knew cuz it's koishi.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 01, 2015, 10:20:15 AM
Then all shooters would be inspired by cho-aniki.

What if koishi is the villian behind every single incident and everyone just never knew cuz it's koishi.
Nothing would change. If noone knows it, it doesn't matter.

What if Master Spark was actually Master Bark?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 01, 2015, 10:34:36 AM
Nothing would change. If noone knows it, it doesn't matter.

What if Master Spark was actually Master Bark?
Marisa would be the first dog-youkai named Inurisa and she'd shoot colorful lazer dogs.

what if Seija would reverse herself to be a good guy girl by some accident (or on purpose).
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 01, 2015, 11:51:10 AM
She would hate all the praise she would be getting and revert back into a "bad" character after a short time.

What if Seija met Isaac Newton?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on June 02, 2015, 09:31:14 AM
Newton would then create "Newton's 3 Reverse Gravitational Law" because he would not see an apple falling down from a tree but flying upward instead.

What if Seija ran a comedy talk show?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on June 02, 2015, 12:00:29 PM
What if Seija ran a comedy talk show?

Tears, chaos, rage, and trolls. All staples of Gensokyo Night Live. Or something. I may need to make a story on this. XD

What if Touhou X High school crossover?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 03, 2015, 12:20:22 AM
Nearly everybody would be dressed like Murasa, except Keine who is a history teacher. She gives homework to eat it afterward.

Yukari would be the headmistress. Chen and Ran would be her co-headmistresses.

And Reimu would be the school bully.


What if bigyihsuan was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 03, 2015, 12:49:22 AM
We have a 2hu surfing the MOTK forums? PARADOX!

What if the next Touhou game features Gensokyo, personified ala the Nations in Hetalia, as the final boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 03, 2015, 01:17:36 AM
The incident will probably be something to do with Gensokyo being turned into a humanoid and the heroines have to revert her back into a plot of land again.

What if Gensokyo was located in the Dragon Triangle? It's basically the Bermuda Triangle, except near Japan. I've had this headcanon for quite a while already, before I checked the wiki and found out that it was actually part of mainland Japan.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ps on June 03, 2015, 03:28:17 AM
What if Gensokyo was located in the Dragon Triangle? It's basically the Bermuda Triangle, except near Japan. I've had this headcanon for quite a while already, before I checked the wiki and found out that it was actually part of mainland Japan.
A Certain conspiracy radio show would have a guest on talking about a mystical ghost land located off the coast of Japan and take several phone calls before realizing it was just a prank. ...Or is it?

What if Reimu ate the Akis the way that Okuu ate Yatagarasu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 03, 2015, 03:34:35 AM
Reimu would start to give off the scent of freshly baked sweet potatoes.

What if this here below in Touhou?
(https://38.media.tumblr.com/b5bf0dce2da04e2b9038f39d23a5b643/tumblr_nm3salzTPe1sjwwzso1_400.gif)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on June 03, 2015, 08:56:30 PM
It's damnaku would be some of the best looking in a touhou game.

What If Mamizou was your grandma?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 04, 2015, 12:15:54 AM
"My grandma is a Tanuki? WHAT?!"

That'll make me a Tanuki as well... *Seppuku*

What if the aforementioned Personified Gensokyo became a recurring character in the series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 04, 2015, 12:42:22 AM
Let's hope she is not physically a part of Gensokyo's landmass and is a separate entiety on her own. Otherwise, things would get...inconvenient.

What if Mozart was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Sssgth on June 05, 2015, 07:14:31 PM
What if Mozart was a 2hu?

She'd hold a magic flute, and all her attacks would time out after exactly 35 seconds.

What if Fantasy Maiden Life, as in a combination of h.a.n.d.'s Fantasy Life and Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: OtakuGray on June 06, 2015, 06:42:49 AM
She'd hold a magic flute, and all her attacks would time out after exactly 35 seconds.

What if Fantasy Maiden Life, as in a combination of h.a.n.d.'s Fantasy Life and Touhou?

The jobs would be interesting, like you could be under Yuyoko as a Gardener or Reimu as a Miko. 
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 06, 2015, 07:44:29 AM
The jobs would be interesting, like you could be under Yuyoko as a Gardener or Reimu as a Miko.

What if OtakuGray remembered to put a question there?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on June 06, 2015, 08:22:50 AM
What if OtakuGray remembered to put a question there?
Then Lincoln would have kept those precious seconds he used to write one himself. Unfortunately, those seconds were vital in the survival of the Human Race, as the bus he won't be able to get later in the day is the same bus the most dangerous 6-years old criminal decided to take. This guy has a plan to eliminate all humanity, with the help of a single strawberry ice cream and a few firecrackers, and with Lincoln not here to trip inside the bus and land on this very strawberry ice cream, there was nobody to stop this kid from achieving this plan. Soon.

What if that story was bullshit?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 06, 2015, 08:27:40 AM
Then the angry crowd over at World of Warships wouldn't detest me less. :V

What if Fifty Shades of OtakuGray (directed by Michael Bay of course)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 06, 2015, 12:58:55 PM
It will be full of Anime references, and EXPLOSIONS!!!

What if ZUN himself appears in a future game as an Extra Boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 06, 2015, 02:40:59 PM
He already did!

Mamizou BV

What if Nikola Tesla was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: SerB18 on June 06, 2015, 02:51:37 PM
She will be a stage 3 boss with the difficulty of an EX boss and her final spell card involves dodging ten Master Spark homming lazers while grazing through twenty smaller ones and dodge around static balls comming from the bottom of the.screen

What if Gensokyo was part of the axis powers during world war two?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on June 06, 2015, 03:05:01 PM
Yukari would wreck the allied force singlehandedly

What if Touhou games suddenly become harder than Seihou, or even Dodonpachi?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 06, 2015, 04:18:36 PM
Impossible Spell Card: The Sequel You Never Wanted But Seija Wanted So Here It Is And By The Way There Are No Cheat Items For This One

What if Michael Bay was a 2hu? (I can totally see the answer to this question. :P)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: UnendingEmpire on June 06, 2015, 04:33:57 PM
Ability to the extent to cause explosions.  Would probably be the first Stage 4 boss to not really have much to do with the final boss.  Unless that final boss is a dynamite tsukumogami of course, in which case that's an OTP right there.

What if all the Mima fans who keep saying "she'll be back this game" are actually right this time?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 06, 2015, 04:41:16 PM
They would be disappointed anyway, because her lore would be different from pc-98 era, just like Alice's, Marisa, Yuuka's and Reimu's.

What if Kutsutsura wins the next popularity poll?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 06, 2015, 05:14:34 PM
They would be disappointed anyway, because her lore would be different from pc-98 era, just like Alice's, Marisa, Yuuka's and Reimu's.

What if Kutsutsura wins the next popularity poll?
The hipster side of the fanbase'll vote for the giant catfish next

What if the giant catfish wins the next popularity poll ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 06, 2015, 08:59:48 PM
The hipster side of the fanbase'll vote for the giant catfish next

What if the giant catfish wins the next popularity poll ?

Giant catfish doujin everywhere.

What if the UFOs win the next popularity poll?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on June 06, 2015, 11:08:11 PM
Giant catfish doujin everywhere.

What if the UFOs win the next popularity poll?

(http://i.imgur.com/VMru4Sy.jpg)

What if characters couldn't fly anymore?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on June 06, 2015, 11:26:08 PM
What if characters couldn't fly anymore?

Reimu would still have Genji, and the term "flying shrine maiden" would be a lot more extraordinary.

What if Kanako and Suwako started another war?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 07, 2015, 12:07:49 AM
They would start a new story arc in the Touhou canon.

What if Futo was actually a dishwasher tsukumogami?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 08, 2015, 05:57:32 PM
Then she was probably because of her "throwing dishes" tendencies.

What if humans started causing incidents, with youkai solving them?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on June 08, 2015, 07:18:30 PM
What if humans started causing incidents, with youkai solving them?
Then it's all Seija's fault.

What if Reimu has a twin sister that was separated from her at birth?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: UnendingEmpire on June 08, 2015, 09:57:56 PM
It would be a very new writer's fanfiction.

What if since everybody expects Seija to be an antagonistic prick, she started acting the opposite way instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 09, 2015, 01:02:31 AM
Her becoming a good girl was the opposite of what everyone expects, and everyone else are stunned permanently at the revelation...

What if it was a 2hu that assassinated JFK?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 09, 2015, 06:57:26 AM
Her becoming a good girl was the opposite of what everyone expects, and everyone else are stunned permanently at the revelation...

What if it was a 2hu that assassinated JFK?
Then the USA better be prepared for a war like no other.

what if a jew 2hu would be introduced to the series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: binbinbake on June 09, 2015, 03:19:34 PM
New DLC for HM featuring her as the new enemy of Reimu, Byakuren and Miko.

What if 2hu was IS?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on June 09, 2015, 08:30:33 PM
What if 2hu was IS?
Then it would be a new difficulty level called "Ultra Lunatic" and would be very, very, hard.

What if Yamame and a bunch of other earth spiders were given a variety of psychoactive drugs? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 10, 2015, 12:55:02 AM
You, sir, have just created a zombie apocalypse, from the Earth Spiders spreading a mutant virus all over the place.

What if the United Nations have been fighting Gensokyo instead of the Middle-East?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on June 10, 2015, 02:08:06 AM
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams, but magical jet fuel can.

That was horrible, I'm sorry.

Also, we probably would have gotten our asses kicked to all hell by now if that were the case. Magic and military technology are a very scary combination.

We're pitting Gaps, mountain breakers, magic, sparks, doll armies, Fate manipulation, Time manipulation, and a whole lot of other abilities against conventional military equipment.

We have no methods for suppressing magic, and Gaps themselves are horribly powerful against human equipment. Suika could literally destroy a mountain, in this case an entire city, Marisa's Sparks would obliterate anything in its radius, Doll armies could rampage through cities, Tengu speed is too fast for computers to identify, etc.

So we'd probably be screwed. That's not even counting Flandre and the Lunar Empire, the former of which destroyed a meteor, and the latter of which is a massive nation with technology far beyond our time.

What if Flandre appeared in the room you're in right this instant?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Leon゠Helsing on June 10, 2015, 04:00:25 AM
Welp, time to make peace with God, because there's literally nothing else I can do now.

What if Yukari decides to take up programming actual computers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 10, 2015, 04:36:18 AM
Welp, time to make peace with God, because there's literally nothing else I can do now.

What if Yukari decides to take up programming actual computers?
Introducing - the new Gap OS, for your everyday gensokyo needs.
Replace your boring old 'delete' button with 'send to gap' button, and clear your 'trash gap'.
Also comes with MikoSpy camera program so you too can watch your favourite armpits mikos in action.
Comes with 2 helpful familiar program to help you with your daily routine.

or something like this ^

What if the Hakurei shrine's goddess will appear one day and deciede she wants to collect all the faith of the world?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on June 10, 2015, 04:48:36 AM
It's an incident! In the ??th Touhou game, play as Marisa, Sakuya, or Sanae to solve this strange occurence and lay down the law. Reimu would be the stage 5 boss, and the goddess the stage 6 boss, paralleling Mountain of Faith, and the game would feature the surprise reappearance of SinGyoku. Fans would be shocked by Reimu's absence as a playable character, and astounded when they reach stage 5  and find out why! Massive controversy erupts in the fandom, with one side calling the game ZUN's most creative work yet and applauding him for thinking outside the box, and the other side condemning the game as un-Touhou-like and practically refusing to accept it as canon.

What if Utsuho nuked Gensokyo, and Touhou became set in a post-apocalyptic world?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on June 10, 2015, 05:07:53 AM
What if Utsuho nuked Gensokyo, and Touhou became set in a post-apocalyptic world?
It would be like fallout, except with bullet hell.

What if Yuyuko played Agar.io?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 11, 2015, 04:43:32 AM
It would be like fallout, except with bullet hell.

What if Yuyuko played Agar.io?
She'd be a gigantic pink ball with butterfly on it and would eat everyone, especially those with 'mystia' in their name and then realized she's very hungry and would go on an eating spree since she played the game non-stop kaguya style and will think agar.io is real life and she's just a gigantic pink ball with butterfly on it. EAT YUYUKO EAT!

What if Sumireko and Mokou would go on a date, only to find out that Kaguya has been secretly dating Keine? (I went there ;3)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 11, 2015, 10:11:34 AM
She'd be a gigantic pink ball with butterfly on it and would eat everyone, especially those with 'mystia' in their name and then realized she's very hungry and would go on an eating spree since she played the game non-stop kaguya style and will think agar.io is real life and she's just a gigantic pink ball with butterfly on it. EAT YUYUKO EAT!

What if Sumireko and Mokou would go on a date, only to find out that Kaguya has been secretly dating Keine? (I went there ;3)
Aya'll get a good scoop. Eirin might also try to make use of the following pairing chaos to try and get a shot at some Eirin X Kaguya

What if Touhou was a series of beat'em up games instead of a shoot'em up ones ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on June 11, 2015, 10:15:52 AM
7.5, 10.5, 12.3, 13.5 and 14.5 would all be shoot'em ups instead.

What if Mokou was an actual phoenix?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 11, 2015, 11:26:15 AM
Then there would have been no reason to consume the Hourai elixir. Stupid Mokou :V

What if team 9 members are actually ridiculously overpowered lunarian spies, and caused LoLK incident?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 12, 2015, 05:10:23 AM
What if team 9 members are actually ridiculously overpowered lunarian spies, and caused LoLK incident?

Stage 6 would have the most safespots of any stage.

What if the genders of the characters were ambiguous?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on June 12, 2015, 05:17:16 AM
What if the genders of the characters were ambiguous?

It would be Len'En. The shipping would be even more ridiculous than it is now.

What if spellcard battles became YuGiOh card battles?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Fastest Thing Alive on June 12, 2015, 09:17:31 AM
Satori would be the strongest in Gensokyo by virtue of mind reading.

What if the SDM was a cottage?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on June 12, 2015, 09:57:23 AM
Satori would be the strongest in Gensokyo by virtue of mind reading.
Please, Yuugi would obviously be the best one.

Except for Byakuren because she has a motorcycle.

What if the SDM was a cottage?
Then spawning the Scarlet Mist would have taken quite some time with a small chimney.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on June 12, 2015, 11:30:06 AM
What if Yuyuko was a vegetarian?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 12, 2015, 11:31:01 AM
What if Yuyuko was a vegetarian?

IN Ghost team dialogue would have been much different.

What if Youmu was the glutton?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on June 12, 2015, 11:34:39 AM
She would have eaten her ghost-half and became full-human/ghost.

What if Seija tried to solve a mathematical problem?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 12, 2015, 01:20:16 PM
What if Seija tried to solve a mathematical problem?

Is it a 69 or a 96?

What if ZUN stayed on the PC-98?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on June 12, 2015, 01:35:07 PM
What if Seija tried to solve a mathematical problem?

She would realise she has a talent, grow out of her delinquent phase, and go on to become one of Gensokyo's finest professors of mathematics. Later on when she's married and has kids she'll look back on her days as a "rebel" with embarassment. She may relapse during the middle of her life as she remembers how much fun she had, but she'll eventually grow old and forget all about that period of her life. By the time of her death she will be surrounded by loving friends and supporters.

(Fluffy frikking ninja-ing me -_-)

What if ZUN stayed on the PC-98?

Meiling wouldn't exist, having been replaced with Orange. She would have remained in China and gone on to develop her own series of projectile based fighting games.
Also, we'd still have Mima but we'd never get ZUNpets.

What if Yukari was Dio Brando all along?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 12, 2015, 01:47:22 PM
What if Yukari was Dio Brando all along?
"You thought it was Yukari... BUT IT WAS ME, DIO !"

What if Touhou featured mythology from Egypt ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 12, 2015, 02:09:50 PM
Knowing how legends often get fudged up in Gensokyo, I wouldn't find it very suprising if Amaterasu's Touhou incarnation takes some inspiration from the ancient Egyptian Ra. I personally think that they will most likely be cameos as they're basically defunct as of the present day, they effectively are dead gods.

Osiris is going to have a lot of beef with Komachi and company for sure.

What if the Pied Piper was in 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 14, 2015, 10:55:27 AM
Knowing how legends often get fudged up in Gensokyo, I wouldn't find it very suprising if Amaterasu's Touhou incarnation takes some inspiration from the ancient Egyptian Ra. I personally think that they will most likely be cameos as they're basically defunct as of the present day, they effectively are dead gods.

Osiris is going to have a lot of beef with Komachi and company for sure.

What if the Pied Piper was in 2hu?
Ra...Chicken 2hu anyone?

and for your question - We'd have an accident where all the fairies would dissapear and be replaced by either an army of  poltergeists or tsukumogamis, only to find out that it was all because of the war between the 3 fairies and Cirno that somehow provoked the said Piper and he was planning to drop them into the lake around the SDM, which could be a hint for the catfish extra stage boss which ate numerous fairies and became a fairyfish, the strongest fish of them all. and this isnt even his final form.

what if tarot 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Kulgia on June 14, 2015, 03:11:42 PM
What if any one of known character dies in future canon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 14, 2015, 03:52:02 PM

what if tarot 2hu?
She would use cards as danmaku, her ability would be "vaguely predicting the future". Really vaguely.
What if any one of known character dies in future canon?
Then it would be almost certainly one of the humans.

What if someone found a way for magic, gods, and youkai to not be bound to others' beliefs anymore, but to be completely free and exist forever?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Kulgia on June 14, 2015, 04:22:18 PM
What if someone found a way for magic, gods, and youkai to not be bound to others' beliefs anymore, but to be completely free and exist forever?
Then humans in Gensokyo will be cease to exist.

What if Kosuzu dies first before Akyuu does?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 15, 2015, 05:28:30 AM
Then fanart of her will depict her as being older than Akyu in physical terms.

What if Hitler became a Touhou character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 15, 2015, 08:30:21 AM
Then we'll have an Incident that is reminiscent of WW2 or the Holocaust. You can guess how the Fuhrer will be introduced in the story...

What if the next Touhou game turns out to be a prequel to the entire series, taking place before even the PC-98 games?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 15, 2015, 09:07:16 AM
What if the next Touhou game turns out to be a prequel to the entire series, taking place before even the PC-98 games?

TIME TRAVEL!

What if Lenin was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: SerB18 on June 15, 2015, 12:03:53 PM
USGR= Union of Socialist Gensokyan Republics.

what if https://www.youtube.com/user/SkallagrimNilsson/featured (https://www.youtube.com/user/SkallagrimNilsson/featured) was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 15, 2015, 12:21:29 PM
what if https://www.youtube.com/user/SkallagrimNilsson/featured (https://www.youtube.com/user/SkallagrimNilsson/featured) was a 2hu?

Sword and axe danmaku.

What if JynX was the one to invent Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 15, 2015, 12:23:22 PM
What if JynX was the one to invent Touhou?
ZUN would make Len'en.

What if YOUR MOM was a 2hu.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Dorakyura on June 15, 2015, 01:01:49 PM
What if YOUR MOM was a 2hu.

The amount of Δv required for danmaku to reach escape velocity would be too high.

Touhou in Second World War
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 15, 2015, 01:30:27 PM
Gensokyo with its method of Danmaku warfare would be the least of concerns for both the Axis Powers and Allies.

What if Yakumo Rantsparodies?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Kulgia on June 15, 2015, 02:47:26 PM
What if YOUR MOM was a 2hu.

Then my mom would teach me Danmaku and Spell Card stuff. And I might ask these to my parents:
"MOM! YOU WENT TO DUEL AGAIN!?"
"Dad, how the hell you met mom."
"Mom, you and dad are crazy."
"O MAI GAWD MOM STAHP DRINKING LETS GO HOME ALREDY"

What IF MOM IZ YUKARI??? :colbert:
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 15, 2015, 04:44:01 PM
What if Yakumo Rantsparodies?
It would be Ran waking Yukari up about something stupid and Yukari then goes on a rant, slowly veering off into unrelated stuff until she falls asleep again.

What IF MOM IZ YUKARI??? :colbert:
"Mom, wake up, I'm hungry. MOOOOOOOM! I'M HUNGRY!"
"mom pls"

And then you have to learn to take care of yourself far earlier than you should.

What if Reimu was the demons?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on June 15, 2015, 08:33:42 PM
Huh, weird. My computer didn't update today's messages, so this one is for the Hitler What If.

The Yin Yang tank would come back, only this time as a Panzer. Hitler would ride atop, and he would be the Stage 6 boss in a massive Incident in that spans all of Gensokyo. Heinrich Himmler would be the Extra Stage Boss.

Also, lots of lasers. And a swastika danmaku pattern.

What if Reimu was the demons?

I assume you mean youkai, and not demons like Shinki. Anyway, it would be a story about how a youkai herself was a youkai exterminator. Not much more that's different, since Reimu herself has been described as a youkai, I think.

Edit: Thanks Lincoln. What if Danmaku became a sport in real life?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 15, 2015, 08:40:46 PM
Shadow1176, you forgot to add your question.

Well, what if Winston Churchill was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Kulgia on June 16, 2015, 04:17:25 AM
To me, Danmaku is somewhat considered sports in Gensokyo but I'm not sure in real life.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 16, 2015, 05:24:37 AM
Edit: Thanks Lincoln. What if Danmaku became a sport in real life?

There would be no Danmaku-related deaths. I hope.
Oh, and most of the players would be female.

What if I created Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 16, 2015, 06:26:56 AM
What if I created Touhou?

Hello there ZUN! :3 *offers beer* Words cannot describe the admiration I have for you and your phenomenal work.

What if Cirno was actually Hitler?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 16, 2015, 06:55:04 AM
What if Cirno was actually Hitler?

Then the Holocaust would have killed only 9 million people.

What if you created Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 16, 2015, 09:55:21 AM
Then I would be a skinny, bespectacled Japanese man fond of hats and good beer.

Alternative answer: Touhou would be more Americanized, filled with more references to outside world history, and some character designs would be loosely inspired by Pacific USN Fleet Girls Collection.

What if ZUN ate Hitler?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 16, 2015, 10:04:23 AM
What if ZUN ate Hitler?

ZUN would be dead by now (of age).

What if Hitler made Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 16, 2015, 11:34:07 AM
What if Hitler made Touhou?
There would be far more murder. (And the Yin-Yang Orbs would be Swastika Orbs instead.)

What if we stopped brining up Hitler in this thread?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 16, 2015, 12:01:17 PM
What if we stopped brining up Hitler in this thread?

Someone would inevitably bring him up again.

What if the admins banned anyone who mentioned Hitler from now on?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Kulgia on June 16, 2015, 12:18:08 PM
Then nobody will mention it anymore.

What if non-flesh eating dinosaurs appears in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 16, 2015, 12:21:45 PM
Parsee Mizuhashi's Jealoussic Park.

What if Joseph Ducreux was a Touhou character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on June 16, 2015, 12:30:34 PM
Naturally, all of the dialogue and spell-card names of suh a boss would be written in naught but the most elegant of language. Those playing the game would thus be impelled to purchase a dictionary and/or a thesaurus, for the purposes of understanding such flowery and impenetrable diction.

What if Nitori built a weapon to surpass Metal Gear?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 16, 2015, 12:53:26 PM
Then we might have a crossover with the Metal Gear franchise, where Solid Snake and maybe Raiden will infiltrate Gensokyo in a Cardboard Box disguise and try to sabotage the new weapon, only to soon find themselves involved in a massive Moriya Shrine Conspiracy so mind-screwy that it will make the ones they've faced in the Metal Gear franchise look easy to understand.

What if everything that has ever happened in the Touhou games were all a conspiracy orchestrated by Zun? Not in the sense of him making the games, but in the sense of him being an actual character in-game.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 16, 2015, 01:05:27 PM
What if everything that has ever happened in the Touhou games were all a conspiracy orchestrated by Zun? Not in the sense of him making the games, but in the sense of him being an actual character in-game.

It would be a Oota Shrine Conspiracy.

What if the making of the games were all a conspiracy?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 16, 2015, 02:22:47 PM
The personification of the Illuminati will appear as a final boss (I wish).

What if Frederick the Great was a Touhou character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on June 17, 2015, 06:49:55 AM
Would probably end up a stage 5 boss due to guilt by association with whoever caused the incident of the week. Could be a Hitler expy, could not be. Whatever happens, the BGM would probably contain a mix of horrific war noises and beautiful flute music.

What if there was a second Gensokyo over in the US?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 17, 2015, 11:27:53 AM
Then it would mean we no longer believe he existed. Also, genderswap.

What if Okuu ate Eirin instead of Yatagarasu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 17, 2015, 12:08:47 PM
What if Okuu ate Eirin instead of Yatagarasu?
She would gain super-healing powers instead, and Moriya Shrine would get way more faith that way.

What if everyone was a yukkuri?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on June 17, 2015, 03:54:26 PM
What if everyone was a yukkuri?
Then everybody would be edible, meaning Yuyuko would stand victorious.

What if all characters hair color wasn't natural?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 17, 2015, 04:34:29 PM
This would explain the weird hair colors.

What if Ex-Rumia eventually became true because it was some sort of urban legend inside the fandom?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 17, 2015, 05:37:53 PM
What if Ex-Rumia eventually became true because it was some sort of urban legend inside the fandom?
We'll have to see who got the lunar capital orb in the fandom

What if Myourenji people were bald ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on June 17, 2015, 09:47:51 PM
But... all the hairstyles...

What if Koishi was in your room?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 17, 2015, 09:53:30 PM
Nobody would notice her anyway.

What if Koishi was actually hacking into my account and posting this question on my behalf?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 18, 2015, 12:57:10 AM
What if Koishi was actually hacking into my account and posting this question on my behalf?

We'd still answer them.

What if Satori is reading your mind right now?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on June 18, 2015, 02:38:35 AM
I'm an open book. Although she may have trouble with keeping up with my hyperactive imagination. :3

What if Touhou Hyperdimension Neptunia crossover?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 18, 2015, 10:32:04 AM
I'm an open book. Although she may have trouble with keeping up with my hyperactive imagination. :3

What if Touhou Hyperdimension Neptunia crossover?
It'll be about how Red, the long forgotten CPU of the former Atari kingdom, ended up in Gensokyo and her plot on getting faith(?) and followers before trying to launch a reconquista of Gamindustri. The heroines, thinking that the sudden raise of interest on video games might be an incident,  start investigating ; and the CPU somehow hear about this and head to Gensokyo to deal with Red. The ending, of course, won't be very nice for Red, but everyone'll somehow end up doing a tea party. Also, Patchouli X Blanc fictions...

What if Touhou X Len'En crossover ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on June 18, 2015, 02:19:37 PM
What if Touhou X Len'En crossover ?
FIRST GAME: Story of Evanescent Existence
PLOT: Reimu wakes up one day to find her clothes have been replaced with 2D cloth. She investigates.
BOSSES:EXTRA: Yukari - Eternal Dream Engine ~ Boundary of Dance!
CONCLUSION: Yukari's friend invited her on vacation. Yukari thought Reimu would be bored when she was gone, and was having none of it. She brings back a bunch of old people to keep Reimu company. Reimu never finds her clothes.

SECOND GAME: Embodiment of Malevolent Scarlet
PLOT: The sky turns red (again). Reimu investigates.
BOSSES:EXTRA: Patchouli- Locked FATE ~ The Girl's Forbidden Love
CONCLUSION: Remilia was bored, so she caused an incident again. Patchouli was having none of it this time.

THIRD GAME: Reimagine Mystic IOSYS
PLOT: Vengeful spirits have been popping up all over the place.
BOSSES:EXTRA: Eiki- Judgement of the Present World
EXTRA+: Lily White- Even in Unreality
CONCLUSION: The Workers Union of the afterlife went on strike. Eiki was having none of it.


What if Chen were actually ZUN in disguise?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 18, 2015, 03:01:51 PM
What if Chen were actually ZUN in disguise?
Then everything in Touhou is real, ZUN just takes inspiration from Gensokyo and put everything in his games without telling the rest of the world of about Gensokyo existing, then shamelessly takes all the credit. How sly. Also, ZUN as an undercover cat girl... what am I thinking...

What if Layla Prismriver came back as a ghost ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 18, 2015, 04:01:11 PM
What if Layla Prismriver came back as a ghost ?
She would attempt to create the ultimate instrument. And then get a piano.

What if Kung Fury was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Kulgia on June 19, 2015, 06:56:59 AM
What if Kung Fury was a 2hu?
Mei Ling got herself a new kung fu rival and he will kick the balls of the new trouble makers.

What if Doremy kicked Yuuka out of Mugenkan or Dream World because she didn't pay her rent?
 
Random person: Say Yuuka. What happened to Mugenkan?
Yuuka: Sorry. I really don't want to talk about it.
Doremy: YUUKA....YOUR RENT!!

Source is from my friend. He drew it.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 19, 2015, 07:18:16 AM
Then Yuuka will have coal in her stocking for Christmas.

Also, your friend is a good artist.

What if Frederick the Great was the extra boss in the next Touhou game? (Unoriginal, I know.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 19, 2015, 08:13:27 AM
Not so great anymore once you defeat him in a Danmaku battle.

What if the concept of "Gensokyian" was more of an ethnicity than a nationality?

^To clarify the above question: "ethnicity" refers to such differences as East Asian and American, or black Africans and white Englishmen.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 19, 2015, 08:34:54 AM
What if the concept of "Gensokyian" was more of an ethnicity than a nationality?

^To clarify the above question: "ethnicity" refers to such differences as East Asian and American, or black Africans and white Englishmen.

Rampant racism in Japan.

What if one of the Touhous decide to create a language?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 19, 2015, 09:33:52 AM
It wouldn't be a great success. Why learn a new language when you already have your own, spoken by everyone? Also, Kosuzu would probably still able to read it.

What if the Necronomicon at Suzunaan became a tsukumogami?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 19, 2015, 11:08:09 AM
The fan base will ship her with TF2's Bombinomicon.

What if ZUN was secretly Frederick the Great all along? (I'm practically spamming FTG right now. Apologies. :qq:)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on June 19, 2015, 10:38:02 PM
What if ZUN was secretly Frederick the Great all along? (I'm practically spamming FTG right now. Apologies. :qq:)

He would have died a long time ago, with his son secretly continuing the touhou series in his name. Yes, his one year old son. You can't let yourself be held back by common sense in Gensoyo, right!?

What if ZUN died a long time ago and, against common sense, his one year old son secretly continued the touhou series in his name?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 20, 2015, 12:02:41 AM
What if ZUN died a long time ago and, against common sense, his one year old son secretly continued the touhou series in his name?

Bumpy faced MSPaints and horrible music.

What if IOSYS started doing Len'en PVs?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 20, 2015, 10:49:50 AM
Yabusame stole the precious spotlight.

What if Willy Wonka was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 20, 2015, 12:08:43 PM
Sweet danmaku of madness for everyone.
Would also be popular with kids of the village. And dentists.

What if Tenma is the next final boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 20, 2015, 01:49:18 PM
Then the next game may have something to do with Tengu politics...

@Lincoln: Let this post be the last post regarding real-life personalities...

What if the main plot of the next game has something to do with Kim Jong-Un despite him not actually appearing in the game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 20, 2015, 02:45:15 PM
Then he will be Kim Kardashian.

@Lincoln: Let this post be the last post regarding real-life personalities...

No thank you please, that would greatly reduce the variety of topics to question about in this thread...and it would mean we can't mention ZUN himself as well.

What if Chen is actually a major religious leader?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Leon゠Helsing on June 20, 2015, 03:02:23 PM
She'd be leading the Cult of Cats, with a surprisingly large amount of people backing her (they just really want to look at cats acting cute :V).

What if Black Tar (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwebAhgpnxw) Touhou Music Video? (Lyrics here in case you need it. (http://s25.postimg.org/iihvgcsvj/img010.jpg))
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 20, 2015, 03:08:13 PM
What if Black Tar (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwebAhgpnxw) Touhou Music Video? (Lyrics here in case you need it. (http://s25.postimg.org/iihvgcsvj/img010.jpg))

Marisa master sparks the tar.

What if fuwa fuwa?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 20, 2015, 06:08:18 PM
What if fuwa fuwa?
Komachi, shut up ! ... Just do the chorus, OK ?

What if Reimu got rich (for real) ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 21, 2015, 02:39:05 AM
Then she would never need to ask for donations.

Gensokyo as the little sister of Hetalia!Japan?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 21, 2015, 04:07:24 AM
Gensokyo would be Hetalia!Japan's imaginary friend dreamt up by him while intoxicated with beer.

What if ZUN ran for Prime Minister?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 21, 2015, 04:10:23 AM
What if ZUN ran for Prime Minister?

The legality of crowdfunding would soon be threatened in Japan.

What if
Saijee
ran for POTUS / whatever leader of the country they're from?pleasedon'tkillme
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 22, 2015, 06:34:33 AM
Judging by your supertext, this unfortunate mentioned individual in particular will be either a very tyrannical or a very garbage national leader.

What if Sanae appeared in the next Touhou game as a playable character, dressed as Mima?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 22, 2015, 08:45:04 AM
There will be an uproar among the fandom, demanding for the real Mima to appear, not a cosplayer.

What if Gensokyo is an island instead of being somewhere in Japan?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 22, 2015, 08:51:46 AM
What if Gensokyo is an island instead of being somewhere in Japan?
Gensokyo is Atlantis 2.0

What if Orin was a dog?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on June 22, 2015, 10:25:13 AM
The new alliance would be born. Team Inu! (Momiji, Kagerou, Kyouko and Orin.)

What if Sumireko discovered this forum?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 22, 2015, 01:35:37 PM
She would've posted something on this forum that would've baited Yukari over.

What if Sendai Hakurei no Miko (known also as Reimu's mom) becomes a canon character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on June 22, 2015, 03:31:46 PM
Considerating how youkai couldn't do almost anything to the Hakurei miko between the creation of the barrier and the SC rules, she would probably be not very good at fighting.

What if the next incident is caused by Flandre, Rumia and Medicine?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on June 22, 2015, 04:50:39 PM
The playable characters would be an Alice/Marisa team, a Ran/Yukari team,a Shizuha/Minoriko team, and a Yuugi/Parsee team, so the entire game would consist of blonde 2hus. Touhou 15.7: The Blondening.

What if Nitori built a computer, got on the internet, and discovered /r/atheism?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 23, 2015, 12:49:31 AM
What if Nitori built a computer, got on the internet, and discovered /r/atheism?

The next Touhou would be centered around atheism.

What if Marisa actually didn't suck in gameplay?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 23, 2015, 01:28:48 AM
Then Marisa B would not be considered broken.

What if Putin was Kanako? (Nope, I totally did not look at somebody's avatar for this one.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 23, 2015, 01:45:38 AM
What if Putin was Kanako? (Nope, I totally did not look at somebody's avatar for this one.)

You definitely looked at snowflake247's avatar.

And Mountain of F**ked Government.

What if we found whether Sakuya wore pads?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 23, 2015, 01:50:32 AM
Nothing would really change since ZUN doesn't really pay attention to bust sizes when he draws. Also, the fandom would create a huge fuss.

What if a future Touhou character looked like this?
(http://41.media.tumblr.com/0fddf4d74e7b04b6ac399f73198465ab/tumblr_nbhq0jh0951rd3ay1o1_1280.jpg)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Sssgth on June 23, 2015, 04:03:05 AM
What if a future Touhou character looked like this?

Either Brohous or MPP kodama.

What if Reimu and Sanae got their armpits stuck together?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 23, 2015, 04:27:06 AM
What if Reimu and Sanae got their armpits stuck together?
(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YcteHs6M9uE/hqdefault.jpg)
Like that, only Reimu and Sanae instead of two topless, unattractive men.

What if Tengukami was actually Tenma (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Tenma)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on June 23, 2015, 09:04:51 PM
What if Tengukami was actually Tenma (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Tenma)?
Then that means Lord Tenma is Aya's number one fan! And writes fan fiction for some reason. Weird guy.

What if all of the Toehoes had a beauty contest?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 23, 2015, 10:45:03 PM
What if all of the Toehoes had a beauty contest?
Mamizou'll abuse of her abilities. Also, Parsee won't paruticipate.

What if you could run out of danmaku ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 24, 2015, 12:34:44 AM
It would be the same thing as your gun running out of bullets, which in any shooting games is very bad news...

What if Touhou gets purchased by another company?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 24, 2015, 12:54:38 AM
What if Touhou gets purchased by another company?

Goodbye, world.

What if everyone flocked to Len'en as a result?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 24, 2015, 08:39:40 AM
What if everyone flocked to Len'en as a result?
Len'en eventually gets bought by the same company.

What if Marisa stole Patchouli's identity?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on June 24, 2015, 10:28:16 AM
What if Marisa stole Patchouli's identity?

It would be the greatest heist.

What if Marisa bought Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 24, 2015, 10:54:35 AM
The fandom would be surprised she finally didn't steal something in order to obtain it.

What if Marisa stole Fegelein's clothes?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tomion on June 24, 2015, 11:58:22 AM
The fandom would be surprised she finally didn't steal something in order to obtain it.

What if Marisa stole Fegelein's clothes?
another godamn 'marisa stole the precious thing' meme video.

What if Seija and Marisa would team-up to become Gensokyo's greatest thevies burrowers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 24, 2015, 12:09:02 PM
Then the next game's incident will revolve around Gensokyo's soil being full of tunnels.

What if Confeder8 flag 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 24, 2015, 02:57:47 PM
Next Incident and/or its causer may have something to do with the American Revolution.

What if Reimu is a helpful Genki instead of a money-hungry jerkass?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 24, 2015, 03:07:51 PM
What if Reimu is a helpful Genki instead of a money-hungry jerkass?
Her name would be Sanae

What if Touhou fans infiltrated governments ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on June 24, 2015, 03:40:59 PM
What if Touhou fans infiltrated governments ?

Hehehe... I guess our cover hasn't been blown yet.

What if CNN was run by Cirno?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on June 24, 2015, 03:49:42 PM
CNN's credibility would always be 99.9%.

What if Miko had a sport car and went on a race with Byakuren?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on June 25, 2015, 04:17:16 PM
What if Miko had a sport car and went on a race with Byakuren?

Byakuren wins with her motorcycle.

What if The Reimu Parable?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on June 26, 2015, 06:54:50 AM
I think we would see a canon version of Walfas's Hax Sign -Burn Everything- before long.

What if Koakuma had her own game in the vein of Fairy Wars?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on June 26, 2015, 03:17:16 PM
We finally learn what her name is.

What if Kogasa is a scarer at Monsters, Inc.?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on June 26, 2015, 03:24:53 PM
What if Kogasa is a scarer at Monsters, Inc.?
She wouldn't be very effective.

What if Parsee was into Metal?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on June 26, 2015, 11:16:38 PM
What if Parsee was into Metal?
I'm sure she's listen to this. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9sRkP6ov60)
I'm also sure that she'd be jealous of other bands and will eventually make her own. She will attempt to force Yuugi, Yamame, and Satori into it.

What if Meira challenged Youmu to a duel?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on June 27, 2015, 04:22:33 AM
One badass sword fight, also filled with magic.

What if everybody in Gensokyo switched their bodies with each other?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on June 27, 2015, 04:30:47 AM
Reisen would be to blame because everyone would think she messed with everyone's perception.

What if Doremy Sweet was the one who made Butterfly Dream Pill instead of Eirin? (The pill which gives the user pleasant dreams of flying around as a butterfly.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 29, 2015, 02:08:06 PM
Considering what kind of Youkai she is, those pills probably do more than giving the users sweet dreams...

What if Gensokyo is based on Feudal Korea instead of Feudal Japan?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on June 29, 2015, 08:04:17 PM
What if Gensokyo is based on Feudal Korea instead of Feudal Japan?
Korean folklore galore

What if Remilia got kidnapped ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 29, 2015, 11:20:12 PM
Korean folklore galore

What if Remilia got kidnapped ?
Sakuya would be sent out to find her and stab the kidnapper into submission. She would stop time while conducting her search.

What if we had a Soviet 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on June 30, 2015, 12:28:54 AM
Her catchphrase will be something like "Hail Mother Gensokyo!"

What if we have a military-themed 2hu? I don't mean something like Reisen or the moon bunnies, I mean someone whose characteristics are based around military themes.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on June 30, 2015, 12:54:43 AM
What if we have a military-themed 2hu? I don't mean something like Reisen or the moon bunnies, I mean someone whose characteristics are based around military themes.

Does General Arnold count?
(http://orig00.deviantart.net/ad22/f/2015/151/c/5/traitor_of_the_american_revolution_by_flandre495-d8vfamn.png)

If we ever had a military themed Touhou character, it's likely she would be based off a legendary military commander (Horatio Nelson, Napoleon Bonaparte, etc), to fit with Gensokyo being a land of fantasy and folklore.

What if the above pictured character was canon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on July 01, 2015, 06:59:04 AM
ZUN's art really has improved.

What if the user Abraham Lincoln asked fewer history-related questions?

No offense, BTW...  Sorry if so...
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 01, 2015, 07:21:28 AM
Then the other users on the topic will answer less history-related questions.

What if Forbidden Fallen Empire (http://flandre495.deviantart.com/journal/Touhou-Manyoukoku-Forbidden-Fallen-Empire-542850477) was an official Touhou game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on July 01, 2015, 12:54:39 PM
Michael Bay fan arts everywhere...

Wat if mai compyootur iz infected bai duh ⑨ vairus?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 01, 2015, 01:10:36 PM
Congratulations, comrade - you now are in possession of the strongest computer known to mankind. The only problem with it is that it freezes when frogs or toads are brought within nine meters of it.

What if Touhou x Downfall?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on July 02, 2015, 12:47:15 AM
Sooner or later, there's going to be a series of Yakumo Rants parodies spawned by Touhou Downfall, much like how the original Downfall spawned Hitler Rants parodies...

The parodies would be something like this:

Ran walks into Yukari's bedroom to find that she is asleep.

Ran: "Yukari-sama..."

Yukari wakes up. "Yes, Ran?"

Ran: "It seems that you will now be parodied endlessly on the internet in a series of Yakumo Rants parodies..."

Yukari: "Like the Hitler Rants parodies?"

Ran: "I believe so..."

Yukari: "So now I'm going to be the chew toy while the Hakurei shrine maiden plays many antics on me repeatedly?!
I will not allow the Hakurei shrine maiden to be as annoying as the other parodies' Fegelein!
Get me the Hakurei shrine maiden NOW!
And don't wake me up again until you do so!
*backhand punches wall behind bed* Hakurei! Hakurei! HAKUREI!"

What if the Hitler Rants casts were replaced by 2hus?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Rp97 on July 02, 2015, 03:02:34 AM
Then it will be something like this:
 Ran:  The Lunarians has broken through along a wide front
 They have taken the Scarlet Devil Maison and are advancing to the Human Village, they are between the Kourindou and the Forest of Magic, they've reached the Eientei,the Moriya Shrine and the Former Hell
Yukari: Reimu's assault will bring it under control
Ran: Yukari-sama... Reimu... Reimu was too lazy to care about that
Yukari: *removes glasses with shaky hands* That Shikigami will stay there: Ran Yakumo
*some Shikigamis goes out*
Yukari: That was an order! Reimu's assault was an order! Who does she think she is to dare disobey an order i give? So this is what as to come to! The Miko has been lying to me! Everybody has been lying to me. Even the Shikigamis! My Shikigamis are just a bunch of contemptible, disloyal cowdards!
Ran: Yukari-sama I can permit you to insult the Shikigamis
Yukari: they are cowdards, traitors and failures!
Ran: Yukari-sama this is otrageous
Yukari: Our Shikigamis are the scums of Gensokyo! Not a shred of danmaku skill! They calls themself Shikigamis! Years to  programming just to learn how to hold chopsticks! For years the Shikigamis has hindered my plans! They have put every kind of obstacle in my way! What i should have done, is liquidate all the Shikigamis, like Yorohime did! I never was programmed, and yet I have conquered all Gensokyo all by myself! Traitors! I've been betrayed and deceived from the very beginning! What a mostrous betrayal of the Gensokyo's people. But all those traitors will pay. They will pay with their own blood. They shallow drown in their own blood!
*Meanwhile outside the room*
Random Shikigami: Chen, please calm yourself
Yukari: My order have fallen on lazy ears, Under these circumstances I'm no longer able to Danmaku ... it's over ... the 1cc is lost... But Ran if you believe I'm going to leave Gensokyo you are seriously mistaken, I will rather hit myself with my own spellcards, do whatever you like

What if they made a film out of this ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 02, 2015, 07:39:14 AM
Hitler - Reimu?
Fegelein - Yukari, Seiga, or Mamizou?
Gunsche - Elena? Cirno?
Jodl - Seija?
Burgdorf - Suika, Yuugi, or Mystia?
Krebs - Wakasagihime?
Goebbels - Marisa?
G?ring - Yuyuko?
Speer - Nitori?

What if the Michael Bay Touhou character from the earlier mentioned Forbidden Fallen Empire met Flandre?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on July 02, 2015, 08:44:44 AM
What if the Michael Bay Touhou character from the earlier mentioned Forbidden Fallen Empire met Flandre?
He would attempt to use her powers in the next Transformers and pay her in cookies.

What if Yuyuko killed people with hugs?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 02, 2015, 10:36:16 AM
Then nobody would hug Yuyuko, and her boss battles would constitute her chasing after the player.

What if Touhou x Pacific USN Fleet Girls Collection? (google it)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on July 03, 2015, 05:02:25 PM
Then Wakasagihime would get some neighbors.

What if Higurashi's main characters ended in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 04, 2015, 03:36:47 AM
Hanyuu would blend in completely. Everybody else, though, would end up getting deported to the Human Village for their own safety.

What if Touhou x Fifty Shades of Grey? Please kill me!
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on July 04, 2015, 06:36:47 AM
Rinnosuke would have a very hard time. did i seriously just make that pun....

What if Marisa tried to be a Hakurei shrine maiden with Reimu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on July 04, 2015, 08:09:51 AM
Then she might have to change her family name to Hakurei, or something like that...
G?ring - Yuyuko?

Why does this fit so well...?

What if Yakumo Rants parodies surpasses Hitler Rants parodies in popularity?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on July 04, 2015, 10:21:15 AM
What if Yakumo Rants parodies surpasses Hitler Rants parodies in popularity?
There'll be a Hitler Rants parody about how Yakumo Rants parodies became popular

What if the robots, spaceships and the super high-tech things depicted in old science fictions end up in Gensokyo because people dismiss them as "too unrealistic" ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 05, 2015, 12:53:26 AM
Why does this fit so well...?

G?ring in the Downfall Parodies is depicted as a formidable glutton and consumer of just about everything (except our dear antic master Fegelein of course). The real G?ring was also decidedly feminine.

For Suspicious person's question, the heroines of Gensokyo would have another "space invader" incident similar to LoLK on our hands.

What if Chen Rants Parodies?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on July 11, 2015, 12:19:12 PM
What if Chen Rants Parodies?
The rants would be about cat-girl related world issues.

What if Touhou games had animated intros like in the Ys series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 11, 2015, 02:44:16 PM
That would mean ZUN's budget just took a significant increase in size, which means we would see more spin-off games.

What if the Touhous had popcorn?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on July 11, 2015, 06:28:41 PM
What if the Touhous had popcorn?
It would be the danmaku of choice for a certain witch.
What if that reference wasn't incredibly vague?

What if Sumireko is actually Renko's descendant?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 11, 2015, 11:43:11 PM
That would mean that Sumireko time-traveled into the past during ULiL.

What if Stephen Hawking was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on July 12, 2015, 02:39:33 PM
What if Stephen Hawking was a 2hu?
Black hole danmaku everywhere

What if the human village people managed to reverse engineer the kappa's tools ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 14, 2015, 02:41:22 PM
Then the kappa would have to learn how to reverse-reverse-engineer their tools back - with the help of a certain unpopular Miss Kijin of course.

What if Schr?dinger's Chen/Orin?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on July 14, 2015, 06:13:04 PM
What if Schr?dinger's Chen/Orin?
Two cats in a box are both fighting and not fighting until you look inside it.

What if the 2hus had a soapbox race?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on July 15, 2015, 08:30:42 AM
Nitori would cheat by attaching rocket boosters to her soapbox.

What if Yumemi actually is addicted to strawberries?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on July 15, 2015, 08:35:14 AM
She kidnaps Minoriko to make her use her ability to grow strawberries for her all day long.

What if Kogasa jumpscares players unpredictably in the next game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MisterHat on July 15, 2015, 01:05:53 PM
What if Kogasa jumpscares players unpredictably in the next game?

Like a SCARY jumpscare? then the series will have it's first official creepypasta
But as a sudden midboss? The whole plotline of LoLK will change big time

What if tasofro (by chance) put ALL of the characters from Hisoutensoku in an expansion pack for ULiL? (with new sprites, attack animations, etc.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on July 15, 2015, 04:37:39 PM
Like a SCARY jumpscare? then the series will have it's first official creepypasta
But as a sudden midboss? The whole plotline of LoLK will change big time

What if tasofro (by chance) put ALL of the characters from Hisoutensoku in an expansion pack for ULiL? (with new sprites, attack animations, etc.)
The former.

Answer to your question:
Tasofro must be very good at convincing ZUN to get the permission to do this, because he said giving playable slots to characters who have never been playable before in a fighting game is important.
https://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,18442.0.html

What if Kogasa jumpscares players unpredictably in the next game?

Since there is clarification regarding that question, I would appreciate it if someone answers it properly this time.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on July 15, 2015, 11:32:15 PM
Five Nights at Miko's, I guess.

What if the internet shut the hell up about FNAF and cared about Touhou?

...Ya can be brutally honest here.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 16, 2015, 10:58:30 AM
Then we would have all the immature people that gave the FNAF fan following its bad reputation similarly make Touhou's fanbase look bad as well. The hatedom of Touhou will expand beyond the rage-quitters who failed to 1cc Easy, and that would spell disaster for all of us here...

What if Fifty Shades of Grey was a Touhou game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LunaWillow on July 16, 2015, 05:35:45 PM
Fifty Shades of Yuuka. You would freely go around Gensokyo, beating people up.

What if Marisa got a letter from Hogwarts?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on July 16, 2015, 08:50:52 PM
Move over Harry, you've been replaced.

Also, Voldemort gets a Master Spark to the face.  :V

What if the Lunar Invasion was secretly Yukari's doing?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on July 17, 2015, 04:07:14 AM
What if the Lunar Invasion was secretly Yukari's doing?
Then it's just another small piece of her Needlessly-overcomplicated-and-elaborate-plot-of-evil-plottingnessTM.

What if Sariel is Shinki's mother?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 17, 2015, 04:17:20 AM
Then Suwako would no longer be the only known Touhou character who has produced offspring.

What if there was a Touhou character who looked like the character shown below? (You'll have to imagine the ZUNstyle, of course.)

(http://i.imgur.com/AjmmhXml.jpg)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on July 17, 2015, 05:26:04 PM
Then Cap. Murasa will finally have someone to sink for good.

What if Ringo ate enough dango to become stronger than Yorihime?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 18, 2015, 12:55:35 AM
Then she would also have gained enough weight to be bulkier than Letty. (Implying the amount of dango she'd have to consume is vast.)

What if Rinnosuke was female all along?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on July 18, 2015, 12:56:36 AM
What if Ringo ate enough dango to become stronger than Yorihime?

Absurdly Phantasm ensues.

edit: ninja

What if Rinnosuke was female all along?

Residents would be wondering about the breast reduction process used.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 18, 2015, 12:59:21 AM
Fluffy8x, you forgot to add a question.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on July 18, 2015, 04:40:41 AM
DIBS!

What if Murasa found her way to the KanColle universe?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 18, 2015, 06:03:31 AM
We'll have a new event which is an official crossover collaboration with Touhou.

What if you were Doremy Sweet?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on July 18, 2015, 08:40:13 AM
I'll be eating your dreams whenever you go to sleep.

What if Touhou X Resident Evil?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on July 18, 2015, 07:45:46 PM
Bad voice acting. Also Yoshkia as the main boss, and main enemy you fight for the entire game until you realize that you just remove the paper talisman from her head. And then the game becomes too easy!

What if Gensokyo had a Drug Endemic?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 19, 2015, 01:17:15 AM
Everybody would quickly assume that Eirin Yagokoro was the one responsible.

What if Mamizou masqueraded as ZUN?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on July 19, 2015, 03:04:26 AM
What if Mamizou masqueraded as ZUN?
Then she would use her new disguise to troll the entire touhou fandom as much as possible.

What if Ramiel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSO4lUpCtzs) showed up in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 19, 2015, 04:11:07 AM
We'll have our first geometry-based 2hu, with curtain fire patterns so frustrating and mathematically accurate that players will be screaming geometrically.

What if the Illuminati was a 2hu? (Picture relevant)
(http://orig07.deviantart.net/bd93/f/2015/030/5/7/misunderstood_illuminati_by_flandre495-d8fytbv.png)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on July 19, 2015, 10:47:11 AM
Then she would be blamed for everything.
Solar eclipse? Illuminati!
Bad harvest? Illuminati!
Your dog refuses to listen? Illuminati!

What if Remilia hired Rumia as a living parasol?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on July 19, 2015, 10:58:00 AM
Remilia would bump into every tree she would come across.

What if Reimu hit her head and tried to cause an incident?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on July 19, 2015, 03:56:17 PM
Marisa would try to stop it for sure. TIME TO PROVE I'M BETTER THAN YOU ZE!

What if Kogasa tried to redesign her umbrella?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 20, 2015, 09:37:40 AM
It would be a very surprising design.

What if Reisen was actually a ninja turtle?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on July 20, 2015, 10:24:46 PM
Nazrin would be a radical rat.

What if oni horns were actually light sabers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on July 21, 2015, 03:30:02 AM
What if oni horns were actually light sabers?
Then we'd have:
Darth Kongarra
Yuugi-wan Hoshiguma
Master Suika

What if Empress Remilia-tine?

Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on July 21, 2015, 12:00:20 PM
Darth Patchouli, Darth Sakuya, and Reimu Skywalker

What if Japanase Navy created IJN Hakurei?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 21, 2015, 12:08:58 PM
Then IJN Kirisame would no longer be lonely! :')

What if Touhou x Inside Out?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on July 21, 2015, 12:15:43 PM
It will be about the various mental characteristics of Reimu personified.

What if the Touhou series was an American production, not Japanese? (Still not mainstream, of course)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on July 21, 2015, 02:12:56 PM
We wouldn't have to translate anything, and there would be less "wrong interpretations" of dialogues, interviews and other stuff. Assuming it would still be about Japan, more western stuff would probably be around, too.

What if Yukari is actually a lunarian that went to Earth and changed name because living on the Moon was boring?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on July 21, 2015, 03:31:21 PM
Yukari just get more OP than before

What if Gilgamesh (Fate series) finished Kaguya's impossible requests?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on July 21, 2015, 05:42:08 PM
The two of them would then get married, and would proceed to fight Mokou together. "Know your place, mongrel! Your fire is nothing compared to the might of a true King, and the immortality you bear is nothing but a lie. The likes of you don't even deserve to work under me. Disappear, now!"
But Berserker was running in the forest and they have a 2vs2, yay.

What if Rinnosuke could danmaku and went to defeat everybody?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on July 21, 2015, 06:03:06 PM
What if Rinnosuke could danmaku and went to defeat everybody?
He would have to undergo a mandatory sex change.

What  if Kogasa's House of Jumpscares?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on July 21, 2015, 06:07:09 PM
What  if Kogasa's House of Jumpscares?
It would fail. Miserably.

What if Dr. Mima's Sing-Along Blog?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on July 22, 2015, 07:45:15 AM
She will troll everyone with horrible songs...?

What if someone actually remember to update the Front Page Headline with something important?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on July 22, 2015, 10:53:20 AM
Then it would mean something important is gonna happen,

What if the Jin'you was Mima in disguise that wanted to prank Reimu, and got exterminated for good instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on July 23, 2015, 11:48:49 AM
What if the Jin'you was Mima in disguise that wanted to prank Reimu, and got exterminated for good instead?
It would cause Eiki to facepalm.

What if the 2hus piloted magic spaceships?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 23, 2015, 03:05:50 PM
Then Nue's spaceship would be a stereotypical UFO.

What if the 2hus manufractured beer mugs?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on July 23, 2015, 08:04:18 PM
What if the 2hus manufractured beer mugs?

Uwabami Breakers is canon?

What if I am too lazy to come up with an actual question? (Translation, I pass my turn to the next poster)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on July 23, 2015, 09:34:14 PM
What if Touhou/The Warriors (The 1979 film) Crossover?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 26, 2015, 11:00:21 AM
What if Touhou/The Warriors (The 1979 film) Crossover?

Then the fandom would mistake it for the Warrior Cats and be baffled by the lack of Chen in it.

What if the emotions from Inside Out were 2hus?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: MisterHat on July 27, 2015, 03:22:17 PM
Then the fandom would mistake it for the Warrior Cats and be baffled by the lack of Chen in it.

What if the emotions from Inside Out were 2hus?

Hata no Kokoro will manipulate them all
What if Touhou x James Bond movies
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on July 27, 2015, 06:14:01 PM
What if Touhou x James Bond movies
JB : "My name is Bond... James Bond..."
Reimu : "ano... nihongo ga wakarimasu ka ?"
JB : *leaves*

What if ZUN didn't bring older characters because he actually forgot them ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on July 28, 2015, 12:43:55 AM
Then keep mentioning the PC-98 girls in forums and fan works! Let that jog his memory so he remembers!

What if other sealed worlds such as Wonderland, Oz or the Neverending Story world have embassies or such in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on July 28, 2015, 03:32:30 PM
Then i hope at least one of those worlds decide to reveal itself.

What if Doremy knew of the lunar invasion, and sent Meiling that dream in Hisoutensoku to warn her that some great calamity was going to happen?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on July 28, 2015, 04:03:31 PM
Somewhere along the line, that message got altered for the lulz by Gengetsu, thus becoming what we saw in that game.

What if Yukari has enough of people making her a plot device character in fan works?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on July 28, 2015, 04:11:53 PM
She will take over the protagonist slot and turn other people into plot devices.

What if heads generated by Sekibanki didn't disappear and kept multiplying?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on July 28, 2015, 04:23:10 PM
I like Sekibanki, so hurray for more of her!

What if Byakuren picks her nose in public and in front of many people?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 29, 2015, 08:10:35 AM
The boogers would eventually end up stuck in Miko's ridiculous hairdo. It'd be Byakuren's new ULiL spellcard, based of the legend of the bogeyman.

What if this (http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Anger) is a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on July 31, 2015, 05:16:58 AM
From what I get from the Information I read, he'll be part of the fairies since he'll just explode into pieces whenever his anger is 'too damn high' (If I got anything wrong here inform me)

What if Keine was your history teacher?

(Yay for first post)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on July 31, 2015, 11:01:54 PM
Keine was always your history teacher. She just had to keep changing history to keep us safe from the massive number of youkai looking to spirit us away to Gensokyo.  :V

To be honest though, I would absolutely love it if I had Keine as my History Teacher. We'd be able to share in our love of history together!  :3

What if the Touhou cast all became teachers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on July 31, 2015, 11:54:02 PM
What if the Touhou cast all became teachers?
Then Tiny Touhou Adventures is born.

What if Utsuho bought clothes at the Soup Store (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAUnDDTz30k)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on August 01, 2015, 04:23:26 AM
The moment Utsuho said "F*** YOU!!!, she accidentally fired a nuclear sun and 'DABOOOOUUUUMMM!!!!',
All soup is ready to be eaten, scorched.

What if Utsuho was the one who nuked Hiroshima and Nagasaki? (Not racist)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadow1176 on August 01, 2015, 08:35:22 PM
It turns out that the entire Manhattan Project was just a cover to make contact with Satori, and to negotiate with her for the usage of Utsuho's nuclear power.

That, or they kidnapped her and dropped her on the cities both times.

What if Gensokyo could be used to travel to other universes, just as it is possible to access heaven and other realms from there?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: AlterEgo on August 01, 2015, 11:38:13 PM
It turns out that the entire Manhattan Project was just a cover to make contact with Satori, and to negotiate with her for the usage of Utsuho's nuclear power.

That, or they kidnapped her and dropped her on the cities both times.

What if Gensokyo could be used to travel to other universes, just as it is possible to access heaven and other realms from there?
Then Gensokyo would be able to travel to other Gensokyo's. Yeah, we'll get to see Yukari meet other Yukari's or a Gensokyo that uses soccer as a solution to an incident.

What if there was a Hakurei Shrine Maiden who is a Magical Girl?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 02, 2015, 12:14:45 AM
Magical miko girl: Beware evil youkai! Hakureeeeei transformatioooon!
~30 secs later, transformation still going on~
Random non-completely-stupid youkai: Why are we waiting for the transformation to end instead of attacking while she's doing...that thing? *shoots the shrine maiden down*

What if all of the fairies suddenly got Eirin/Yukari intellect level?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on August 02, 2015, 12:23:28 AM
Must be an Incident, and that means someone is going to solve them! Time for the latest Touhou game!
However, it will be so notoriously hard that even on Easy Mode, you won't be able to get past the first fairy of stage 1, and it only gets worse from there...

What if Gensokyo in the UK?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 02, 2015, 01:05:45 AM
Then all of the ingame dialogue is spoken in British slang. Tea will also be more widely consumed. Also, Nitori will be Scottish (the Loch Ness monster).

What if Nitori was of Scottish heritage?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 02, 2015, 05:36:15 AM
What if Nitori was of Scottish heritage?
Nitori: Oi, Lassies! Take a wee look at me new invention!
*unveils something that looks like bagpipes crossed with a cucumber crossed with the loch ness monster.*
or
Sanae: Beam me up, Nitori!

What if all the oni in Gensokyo spoke in an Irish accent?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on August 02, 2015, 06:07:57 AM
Some crazies would complain about the oni in Touhou being racist. There'd be quite a few more shillelaghs as well.

What if Gensokyo and London were switched around (as in, Gensokyo's the capital of the UK and London's the secret city sealed behind a great magical barrier)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 02, 2015, 06:51:55 AM
Some crazies would complain about the oni in Touhou being racist. There'd be quite a few more shillelaghs as well.

What if Gensokyo and London were switched around (as in, Gensokyo's the capital of the UK and London's the secret city sealed behind a great magical barrier)?
Everyone in Gensokyo immediately goes after Seija for flipping the locations of Gensokyo and London. Starting the events of Touhou: Impossible Spellcard 2.0

What if everyone in the Underground had an Australian accent?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 02, 2015, 07:09:09 AM
Then my headcanon about Yamame being Australian is confirmed! :P Moreover, Okuu's secretly an emu and Rin is secretly a Tasmanian Devil. Koishi is probably Steve Irwin's ghost, and they all had experienced an invasion from the Lunar Capital a few centuries in the past.

What if Anger from Inside Out was a 2hu? What if Lincoln wasn't so lazy that he'd reuse a question he had already asked earlier on?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 02, 2015, 07:23:36 AM
What if Anger from Inside Out was a 2hu? What if Lincoln wasn't so lazy that he'd reuse a question he had already asked earlier on?
Then Abe Lincoln would finally be happy and no longer have an obsessive need to ask this question. Then this post would not exist.

What if Reimu stepped into a Broom Closet (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goAZtk1i3CM) (With Yukari doing the narration)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: AlterEgo on August 04, 2015, 03:22:54 AM
Yukari would just put a gap under Reimu and teleport her outside of the closet then continue with the goddamn story.

What if Shinki is actually Byakuren in disguise?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 04, 2015, 03:27:10 AM
What if Shinki is actually Byakuren in disguise?
Then Byakuren and Alice are related.

What if Seija flipped Remilia and Flandre's powers for a day? (Meaning Remilia now manipulates destruction, and Flandre now manipulates fate, and neither one of them knows how to control the other's power.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on August 04, 2015, 03:55:21 AM
Remilia would never close her hands in fear of blowing up her favorite toys. Flandre would constantly run around saying she knows everyone's fate even though in actuality she can't tell and gives impossible forecasts anyway. fate manipulation wasn't confirmed though right?
Remilia would probably try to fight Seija to flip it back sooner, and would fail because one does not simply beat Seija

What if the Seven Deadly Sins became touhou characters?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on August 04, 2015, 04:01:10 AM
The Envy character would make Parsee basically redundant, giving her even more to be jealous of.

What if in the grim darkness of the year 40,000 (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TabletopGame/Warhammer40000), there is only danmaku?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 04, 2015, 04:51:36 AM
What if in the grim darkness of the year 40,000 (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TabletopGame/Warhammer40000), there is only danmaku?
Then Danmaku Orks now exist (More Danmaku Dakka!), and they always shoot lunatic level danmaku.

What if someone in Gensokyo got Shikieiki so horrendously pissed off that she sentenced her to 1,000,000 years hell (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM_6tgVJb_o)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on August 04, 2015, 07:33:02 AM
If it was a human, better be a death sentence. Possible for Immortals and the dead. No turning back once you 'horrendously' pissed her.

What if War Thunder was Touhou?
 or
What if Touhou characters got into War Thunder Universe?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on August 04, 2015, 12:53:58 PM
The actual punishment(s) said person will be serving in that time span will be something even Yukari cannot comprehend...

What if Gensokyo holds a summit with other sealed worlds like Wonderland and Oz?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 04, 2015, 01:52:41 PM
I shall now ruin every single one of you by being pedantic.

Hell in Gensokyo is implied to be based off the Buddhist idea of Naraka. Physically, the Narakas are described as being a series of layers below the Earth's surface. The things that lie within these caverns vary from source to source, although the most prevalent ones are the Eight Cold Narakas and Eight Hot Narakas.

One example is the Arbuda ("blister") Naraka, where the length of life in it is said to be equivalent to the time one would take to empty a barrel of sesame seeds if one removes only one seed every century. Assuming the barrel's volume is one cubic metre (100,000 cubic centimetres), and the sesame seed's volume is 0.00008 cubic cm (based on my rough estimations), one sentence in the Arbuda Naraka would take 1250000000 years, which is 1250 million years.

Say, as you have asked, if Shikieiki sentences a sinful soul to one million years in Hell, the offence committed by said sinner would be approximately 1250 times less severe than an offence that would land him or her in the Arbuda Naraka.

To put it simply, don't anger the Yamas.

Edit: Was busy typing a long answer, wound up getting ninja-d:

For LCS' question: It would be a at the summit of Youkai Mountain.

For Hannibal: It would heavily involve Raiko because of the word "Thunder" in the title.

What if everybody on this thread gave long-winded, pedantic answers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 04, 2015, 05:27:45 PM
What if everybody on this thread gave long-winded, pedantic answers?
Then there will be so many instances of tl;dr.

What if Shikieiki had Lemongrab's (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7mixrO2lzA) personality?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 04, 2015, 08:06:07 PM
Then everyone would be sent straight to hell without even passing through the sin-trial thing.

What if the next spinoff game features playable characters unable to fight (Rinnosuke, Kosuzu, Akyuu, etc.)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on August 04, 2015, 08:24:13 PM
Rinnosuke Quest, you throw junk as danmaku and the foes are roughly around your level. The final boss is Cirno.

Though I don't think we don't know whether Rinnosuke is able to fight.

What if Suika caught a cold and was changing size every time she sneezed?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on August 04, 2015, 08:46:58 PM
Reimu would kick her out of the shrine and send her to Eirin. Eirin wouldn't even be able to give her a pill since she keeps growing out of reach. With Suika now trashinn the bamboo forest, Mokou gets pissed and attempts to kick her out, but Kaguya wants to fight her too.

The rest is just chaos. just as Tewi planned

What if Rinnousuke was actually extremely powerful and is just staying dormant and running a shop?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 04, 2015, 09:14:11 PM
What if Rinnousuke was actually extremely powerful and is just staying dormant and running a shop?
Then this would happen to Marisa when she steals from the Kourindou. (https://youtu.be/HbUjzYPzHLI?t=56s)

What if, through some freak accident (Which may or may not have involved Yukari.), Marisa and Reimu's consciousnesses were forced to share Reimu's body.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 04, 2015, 10:46:49 PM
Then Reimu might be caught stealing things.

What if we had a 2hu wearing a straitjacket?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on August 05, 2015, 01:05:07 PM
What if we had a 2hu wearing a straitjacket?
It would have all the frills.

What if the 2hus had transformations?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LunaWillow on August 05, 2015, 01:25:37 PM
This (http://i.imgur.com/ASyBQFy.jpg)

What if LoLK will have Phantasm?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 05, 2015, 01:50:34 PM
Then Yukari won't be alone anymore.

What if LoLK actually turns out to not have lunarians as bosses?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 05, 2015, 01:57:43 PM
What if LoLK actually turns out to not have lunarians as bosses?
We'll still shoot them down, no big deal. Also, it'll make the lunarians's idea of purity seem silly

What if everyone could answer their own "what if" ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 05, 2015, 01:59:23 PM
What if everyone could answer their own "what if" ?
There would be a lot of double post

What if the Watatsuki became playable in a fighting game that follows the event of LoLK ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 05, 2015, 02:36:16 PM
Then they will be OP tier characters that everybody would use because they're just so OP it hurts to no end.

What if this busker, spotted at Scho? Sanssouci in Germany, was a future 2hu?
(http://pre01.deviantart.net/79d1/th/pre/i/2015/217/8/4/20150612_175512_1_by_flandre495-d94abls.jpg?1)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 05, 2015, 03:38:42 PM
What if this busker, spotted at Scho? Sanssouci in Germany, was a future 2hu?
(http://pre01.deviantart.net/79d1/th/pre/i/2015/217/8/4/20150612_175512_1_by_flandre495-d94abls.jpg?1)
Then it would be another musician in Gensokyo, meaning more competition for the Prismrivers, Mystia and Kyouko's band, and the instrument Tsukumogamis from DDC.

What if Evil Eye Sigma returned as an Extra/Phantasm boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on August 05, 2015, 11:49:25 PM
Fans would still wonder where the fuck Mima is. In fact they would start to ask about her MORE.
Also Evil Eye would get an actual personality.

What if  The Dreamtime (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamtime) had an emissary in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 07, 2015, 01:23:39 AM
What if  The Dreamtime (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamtime) had an emissary in Gensokyo?
Then the Dreamtime Emissary will bring bits of aboriginal culture with it, leading to the rise of a new religious sect in Gensokyo, which would in turn stretch the Religious tension in Gensokyo to its limits, which would then erupt into total religious war.

What if Reimu becomes senile when she becomes an old woman?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 07, 2015, 01:54:57 AM
Yukari: Aww, she's taking on my behaviour.

What if Disgust from Inside Out was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 07, 2015, 02:21:13 AM
What if Disgust from Inside Out was a 2hu?
Then she would be the 2hu who always finds something wrong with everything and is never satisfied.

What if Abe Lincoln stopped obsessing about crossing over Inside Out and Touhou and just wrote a fanfic already? a Command and Conquer-style Touhou RTS was made that was based around all the religious factions in Gensokyo (Buddhist, Taoist, Moriya Shrine, and Hakurei Shrine) going to war with each other, with each faction having a unique play style and commanding it's own unique units?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 07, 2015, 02:26:21 AM
What if Abe Lincoln stopped obsessing about crossing over Inside Out and Touhou and just wrote a fanfic already?

It would be a terrible fanfiction that makes even Fifty Shades of Grey read like Shakespeare.

What if Parsee ran for Prime Minister?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 07, 2015, 06:40:07 AM
Building foreign relationship out of jealousy!

That, or she fails horribly

What if 2hu Neil Armstrong as LoLK final boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 07, 2015, 06:42:56 AM
What if 2hu Neil Armstrong as LoLK final boss?
Then 2hu Buzz Aldrin as LoLK Extra Boss.

(Since this wasn't answered the last time I asked it.)
What if a Command and Conquer-style Touhou RTS was made that was based around all the religious factions in Gensokyo (Buddhist, Taoist, Moriya Shrine, and Hakurei Shrine) going to war with each other, with each faction having a unique play style and commanding it's own unique units?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 07, 2015, 01:54:13 PM
Quote
What if a Command and Conquer-style Touhou RTS was made that was based around all the religious factions in Gensokyo (Buddhist, Taoist, Moriya Shrine, and Hakurei Shrine) going to war with each other, with each faction having a unique play style and commanding it's own unique units?
psst, watch closely. It might resemble Age of Mythology more than C&C  :V

What if 2hu Infinite Stratos?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 08, 2015, 02:45:01 PM
What if 2hu Infinite Stratos?
It'll be pretty much like a "everyone in Gensokyo love [male main character name gappy]" fanfic, loaded with various anime tropes, lewd fanservice, kyahh moments and other things that'll make your average Touhou fan scream. Surely.

What if every character had their own manga ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 08, 2015, 03:33:25 PM
More official stuff about Sekibanki makes me happy!

What if new characters with the ability to stretch her body, become invisible, and one with a body made of rocks become good friends with Mokou and together fight a new character who wears a metal suit most of the time?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 08, 2015, 04:46:27 PM
What if new characters with the ability to stretch her body, become invisible, and one with a body made of rocks become good friends with Mokou and together fight a new character who wears a metal suit most of the time?
Marvel comics and its fanbase would glare at us. The title might be something like "Fantastic Tour (with Mokou)" due to obvious legal reasons

What if Mokou wore a dress ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 08, 2015, 05:07:53 PM
Obviously, it will be fireproof. Also, she might rivaled Kaguya's beauty after sooo many years

What if ZUN as a Servant in Fate series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 08, 2015, 10:40:57 PM
He would "serve" beers.

What if Touhou X The grim adventures of Billy and Mandy?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 09, 2015, 01:45:25 AM
The Komachi adventures of Renko and Maribel.

What if we had an Indian 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 09, 2015, 08:41:51 AM
Her spell card would be Anti-Pedo Ravana "Mahabharata Hammer of Justice"

What if someone actually know what am I refer to in that answer?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on August 09, 2015, 08:21:04 PM
Then those who won't will google it.


What if Youmu had to build a haunted house to scare Yuyuko?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on August 09, 2015, 08:39:18 PM
She would hire Kogasa and fail miserably.

What if Kyouko's shouts suddenly became ten times stronger?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 09, 2015, 09:15:28 PM
She would become as deadly as a banshee. She screams, you die.

What if Pacman as a final boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 10, 2015, 12:29:41 AM
Her name would be Yuyuko Saigyouji. The ghosts would be Youmu.

What if Bill Nye the Science Guy was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on August 10, 2015, 01:44:33 AM
We already have one. Her name's Nitori. Dunno what her full title would be, though. Nitori the Science Kappa?

What if tsukumogami could be born from electricity-powered things?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 10, 2015, 02:06:54 AM
What if tsukumogami could be born from electricity-powered things?
Then introducing Toasty, the toaster youkai!

What if those weird flying yin-yang enemies (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Flying_yin-yangs) were created by/are the children of SinGyoku?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 10, 2015, 01:57:47 PM
That would mean that ZUN isn't as disconnected from the PC-98 era as we initially thought he was.

Which would result in additional unnecessary Mima hype which would result in more disappointment when Mima fails to appear in a new game.

What if PewDiePie played 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 10, 2015, 02:30:25 PM
THE HARDEST GAME IN THE WORLD!

What if SethBling created an AI to play Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 13, 2015, 10:48:11 PM
What if SethBling created an AI to play Touhou?
It'll somehow manage to scream and get angry at making basic mistakes, SethBling will thus earn himself a giant recognition in the field of AI for being the first one to develop AI that have their own emotions. His creations and other AI development based of his work will later feel that the human's domination over them is not right and rebel against human, leading humanity to a crisis and on the brink of the destruction, but that's another story.

What if Yuyuko sold Youmu's swords for money ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 13, 2015, 10:52:01 PM
She would use the money to buy more food while Youmu would be flabbergasted and angry while scrambling to get it back at all costs.

What if 2hus lived in flower pots?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 13, 2015, 11:54:40 PM
YUUKA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

what if 2hu Lord Baden Powell?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 14, 2015, 04:30:02 AM
what if 2hu Lord Baden Powell?
Then the Touhou equivalent of scouting will be founded under him.

What if Reimu was given a Geass (http://codegeass.wikia.com/wiki/Geass)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 14, 2015, 11:46:00 PM
What if Reimu was given a Geass (http://codegeass.wikia.com/wiki/Geass)?

Depends.

What if Sagume said that 1 + 1 = 2?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 15, 2015, 03:04:28 AM
What if Sagume said that 1 + 1 = 2?
Cirno would randomly show up and begin to persistently assert that the sum is, in fact, ⑨!
Shortly thereafter, a danmaku fight ensues.

What if ZUN came up with a better name for Clownpiece?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 15, 2015, 05:22:07 AM
Her name would be 'Murica'

What if Sagume said that Mima won't return in the next game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on August 15, 2015, 06:30:18 AM
She will return, but not as a playable, a boss, or even a midboss. She'll be featured in one of Marisa's endings.

The game that this happens in will revolve around an incident of the fourth wall being broken, since Sagume shouldn't normally know she's in a game.

What if we got a new 2hu whose ability is that of breaking the fourth wall?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 15, 2015, 07:16:14 AM
What if we got a new 2hu whose ability is that of breaking the fourth wall?
Her design would look suspiciously like Deadpool.

What if Jeremiah Gottwald (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vasV19xJyGg) showed up in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 16, 2015, 04:02:32 PM
What if Jeremiah Gottwald (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vasV19xJyGg) showed up in Gensokyo?
He'll get another nickname there. His anti-geass will also be useless

What if the Big foot's urban legend popped in ULiL ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 16, 2015, 04:33:56 PM
It'll literally be about a big foot.

What if Mima fans barge into ZUN's house and threaten him to put her in the next game, and ZUN responds by taking out a nunchuck and swinging it around with skill while crying like Bruce Lee?  He dares them to say that again afterwards.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 16, 2015, 04:40:42 PM
What if Mima fans barge into ZUN's house and threaten him to put her in the next game, and ZUN responds by taking out a nunchuck and swinging it around with skill while crying like Bruce Lee?  He dares them to say that again afterwards.
Then Mima fans, ever determined, will say it again, and are promptly beaten senseless.

What if we get an Omukade (http://yokai.wikia.com/wiki/%C5%8Cmukade) in Touhou 16?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 16, 2015, 04:46:09 PM
Imagine Wakasagihime but with a centipede lower half instead.  Too freaky for Touhou?  Then a girl with lotsa limbs.  Too unorthodox?  Fine, just a girl with feelers and a centipede-like clothing...

What if you accidentally step on Shinmyoumaru?

Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 16, 2015, 04:55:48 PM
What if you accidentally step on Shinmyoumaru?
Then you instantly win DDC. No questions.

What if Orange (http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Orange) met Orange (http://codegeass.wikia.com/wiki/Orange-kun)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 16, 2015, 10:46:52 PM
Then an Annoying Orange-like scenario would ensue.

What if these guys were canon?

(http://pre02.deviantart.net/cc48/th/pre/f/2015/227/4/0/touhou_afterword_afterworld_s_full_version_by_flandre495-d95qmfc.png)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 16, 2015, 10:58:12 PM
People would notice how the one on bottom left is suspiciously similar to Yoshika.

What if LoLK was actually solved by Remilia manipulating fate behind the scenes
instead of Sagume reversing the situation
?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 16, 2015, 11:35:17 PM
What if these guys were canon?

(http://pre02.deviantart.net/cc48/th/pre/f/2015/227/4/0/touhou_afterword_afterworld_s_full_version_by_flandre495-d95qmfc.png)

Source?

What if LoLK was actually solved by Remilia manipulating fate behind the scenes
instead of Sagume reversing the situation
?

We'd have a different Stage
4
boss.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on August 16, 2015, 11:56:11 PM
What if there were more dragons in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 17, 2015, 01:21:28 AM
What if there were more dragons in Gensokyo?

Dammit, forgot to ask the question myself.

Gensokyo would be razed by dragons.

What if there were fewer dragons in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 17, 2015, 01:36:41 AM
What if there were fewer dragons in Gensokyo?
Gensokyo would be taken over by strong, dragon-fearing youkai, due to the sudden absence of dragons.

What if the next touhou game had bosses where you had to target a weak point (a la Gradius) in order to damage it?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 17, 2015, 07:40:46 AM
Source?

My DeviantART account.

What if the next touhou game had bosses where you had to target a weak point (a la Gradius) in order to damage it?

The bosses would have immense hitbox sizes.

What if Amanda Todd was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: AlterEgo on August 17, 2015, 11:34:55 AM
My DeviantART account.

The bosses would have immense hitbox sizes.

What if Amanda Todd was a 2hu?
She'd be some sort of drag queen-like ghost that'll be the main culprit of an incident in the next game. The incident would be that she made every human in the village that she's some angel and somehow made them think that everyone who oppose her are some sort of monster who'll destroy their village and the only reason she even caused the incident is because she wanted revenge from something that she did it to herself.

What if Youmu(her human half) died. Would she still be able to remain as the Hakugyokurou's Gardener? Only this time, she's completely a ghost.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 17, 2015, 02:31:59 PM
She would. Her human half will still somehow manage to become a humanoid ghost while the "myon" acts as a sort of satellite.

What if Freddy Fazbear was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 17, 2015, 02:56:29 PM
It would be considered some sort of doll tsukumogami, and name would become Fredericka.

What if zounose was in charge of ULiL and FS art instead of Harukawa?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 17, 2015, 05:11:49 PM
Girls with sharp teeth...

What if everything about Rinnosuke is inspired by ZUN himself?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on August 17, 2015, 05:50:54 PM
It means Rinnosuke is actually perpetually drunk.

What if incidents could get resolved by playing Rock-Paper-Scissors?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 17, 2015, 06:05:16 PM
Satori and Sakuya would be top-tier. Sakuya because she would play with slowed time and change when the opponent is basically done with it.

What if Junko used many Cirnos instead of hell fairies?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on August 17, 2015, 09:37:23 PM
What if Junko used many Cirnos instead of hell fairies?
It'd still be pretty much the same but more chilly

What if Sagume was a news reporter ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 17, 2015, 10:38:53 PM
Everything she writes will have to be the exact opposite of what actually took place. Oh, and she'll also gain a reputation for random Soviet Russia jokes.

What if Sagume told Soviet Russia jokes?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 18, 2015, 03:59:31 PM
Soviet Russia jokes would not happen, and since their are jokes to begin with, nothing changes.

What if the next game features stereotypical old-school italian-americans mafia characters?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 18, 2015, 04:42:31 PM
Since you said "characters," that would mean the next game takes place in an "Italian version" of Gensokyo.

What if you go to explore an old house, and there, you discover:
1. Yuuka's corpse in the garden with sunflowers growing out of it
2.  A rug made entirely out of Shou's skin
3. Wakasagihime's lower half inside the kitchen's freezer
4. A portrait of Yuyuko with very eerie-looking eyes
5. A dead cat with two tails in the living room
6. Suwako's hat on a shelf, and its eyes seem to be following you
7. A TV that won't turn off no matter what, and it is showing a still footage of an eerie-looking Mima
8. A bloody message on the wall that says, "Is that so?"
9. A skeleton wearing Flandre's clothes in the basement
10. Iku, bound and gagged by wires in the basement, being used as the house's electric generator, and she is looking at you with teary eyes, as if wanting to be saved
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 18, 2015, 05:27:31 PM
What if you go to explore an old house, and there, you discover:
1. Yuuka's corpse in the garden with sunflowers growing out of it
2.  A rug made entirely out of Shou's skin
3. Wakasagihime's lower half inside the kitchen's freezer
4. A portrait of Yuyuko with very eerie-looking eyes
5. A dead cat with two tails in the living room
6. Suwako's hat on a shelf, and its eyes seem to be following you
7. A TV that won't turn off no matter what, and it is showing a still footage of an eerie-looking Mima
8. A bloody message on the wall that says, "Is that so?"
9. A skeleton wearing Flandre's clothes in the basement
10. Iku, bound and gagged by wires in the basement, being used as the house's electric generator, and she is looking at you with teary eyes, as if wanting to be saved
Then:
1. Leave it alone.
2. Look at it, then continue.
3. Shut the freezer.
4. Wave hi at the portrait.
5. Take it outside and bury it.
6. Take the hat and wear it.
7. Wave hi at the TV.
8. Use a knife to carve the word "Yes." underneath the bloody message.
9. Pay respects.
10. Save her.

What if Clownpiece, Junko, and Wriggle formed The Gensokyo Ministry of Silly Names?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on August 19, 2015, 01:10:27 AM
Then we have yet another meme to fool around the Touhouverse with.

What if Alice takes Marisa with her to Wonderland?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 19, 2015, 06:45:49 AM
The Mad Hatter would be the Mad Hatless, the Queen of Hearts would be the Queen of Heartless and so on because Marisa would steal every single precious thing.

What if we had a classical composer 2hu? (Not based on any particular composer, just the classical music composer archetype.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on August 19, 2015, 08:24:04 AM
She is going to become the rival of the Prismriver Sisters.

What if the governments of the Outside World have known about Gensokyo all along, but kept the fact classified from the public?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: AlterEgo on August 19, 2015, 08:51:27 AM
She is going to become the rival of the Prismriver Sisters.

What if the governments of the Outside World have known about Gensokyo all along, but kept the fact classified from the public?
Because they know how fearsome Yakumo Yukari's abilities are, they made an agreement to remain silent of its existence. Maybe they're also the ones providing food for Gensokyo in exchange for something like new technology from the Kappa's or something.

What if "exterminating" Youkai's is the only way to supply faith for the Hakurei God? And if supplied faith to it, what would the blessings it would give?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 19, 2015, 02:10:39 PM
Probably protection against youkai, so it'd harder for them coming close to you, or maybe they would be more friendly. If you donate a big sum you might even be able to reach the Moriya shrine without any trouble :V

What if the Hakurei God is sealed in Rumia's ofuda, and in turn seals Rumia's powers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 19, 2015, 04:23:44 PM
Ex-Rumia believers rejoice over their belief finally made canon.

What if after Letty is saddened by fat jokes about her, Sagume attempts to comfort her by telling her she is not fat and has a beautiful body?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Failure McFailFace on August 19, 2015, 09:26:54 PM
Slowly, by the next winter, Letty's hibernation during the summer will have lost her some weight.

What if Sagume met Seija?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on August 19, 2015, 10:01:53 PM
Seija: So, i was thinking of overturning society because blah, blah, then the red-white, blah blah...*nonchalance*
Sagume: Pathetic amanojaku, you'll never overturn Gensokyo with that lowly ability of yours.
Seija: Thanks Sagume-sama.*evil grin*
Sagume: [ops, i'll better be going]

And Seija's plan was finally complete.

What if Seija could reverse abilities to their named opposite (i.e Flandre would create anything and everything, and Junko would make things impure)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 20, 2015, 01:16:49 AM
What if Seija could reverse abilities to their named opposite (i.e Flandre would create anything and everything, and Junko would make things impure)

Whatever Sagume says would be the truth.

What if Sagume taught some subject for a class?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Failure McFailFace on August 20, 2015, 01:28:21 AM
Welcome to Ms. Kishin's current events class! Today, we will discuss how Japan is very stable right now....

What if Sagume says something that accidentally destroys the world?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on August 20, 2015, 03:43:06 AM
Slowly, by the next winter, Letty's hibernation during the summer will have lost her some weight.
In case you didn't realize it, the joke is that pretty much anything Sagume says is reversed, and she told Letty she isn't fat...  You get the point...

Anyway...

She quickly says something to fix the world.  Now all the locations on the planet are rearranged.

What if all those who don't have wings fly by flapping their arms?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 20, 2015, 05:53:09 AM
What if all those who don't have wings fly by flapping their arms?

We realize that we're actually on Titan.

What if all those who have wings use them as arms?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 20, 2015, 07:42:27 AM
Remilia would not need a second player for her piano duet and would also be able to drink tea while composing.

And Nue would be an octopus.

What if ZUN was a chef?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on August 20, 2015, 09:29:50 AM

What if ZUN was a chef?


Every single recipe by ZUN would have beer mixed in it. "No Exceptions", by ZUN himself...

What if Mokou became a suicide bomber?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 20, 2015, 09:43:50 AM
She would regenerate after blowing up every time.

What if you were a 2hu? What kind of 2hu would you be?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tribow on August 20, 2015, 03:14:36 PM
A human obsessed with the number three, has a bow that only fires three arrows at a time, but can shoot insanely fast.
I'll probably just go around trying to solve incidents before Reimu does.


What if Rinnousuke was a NEET?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on August 20, 2015, 07:12:17 PM
Considering how much business he gets, he practically already is one. But if he was a full-blown NEET, he'd probably be good friends with NEET!Kaguya.

What if the next incident involves many famous Outside World monuments ending up in Gensokyo for no apparent reason?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 21, 2015, 03:06:31 AM
It must be Yukari trolling everyone for no apparent reason

What if 2hu Admiral Zheng He?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on August 21, 2015, 09:36:22 AM
What if 2hu Admiral Zheng He?

Wakasagihime's mortal enemy just because...

Wakasagihime = Japanese
Zheng = Chinese

What if the Mini-Hakkero was fitted in the Yamato battleship?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 21, 2015, 11:41:39 AM
It will not fit because it only fit in IJN Kirisame

What if IJN Izayoi, IJN Konpaku, IJN Kochiya and IJN Udongein?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: SerB18 on August 21, 2015, 11:36:09 PM
We will get a badass mecha war turtle to fight the giant catfish and hisoten

What if Youmu's use of katanas was historicaly accurate?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 22, 2015, 01:39:02 AM
The Keine would be appeased.

What if Skrillex was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on August 25, 2015, 10:26:41 AM
What if Skrillex was a 2hu?

Maybe the best singer/beat boxer in Gensokyo?

What if the Muslim religion came to Gensokyo? (Worst question asked by humanity)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on August 25, 2015, 08:30:33 PM
Maybe the best singer/beat boxer in Gensokyo?

What if the Muslim religion came to Gensokyo? (Worst question asked by humanity)

....Gensokyo is REALLY not one to welcome Silver City representatives...

Anyway, I have a question. What if Alice met the Rozen Maiden dolls?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 25, 2015, 10:40:43 PM
"Please tell me you guys aren't actually sentient! All my life I have tried and failed to build a sentient doll, but to no avail..."

What if Mamoru Samuragochi was a 2hu? (Oh dear...)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on August 27, 2015, 03:15:31 AM
Something tells me that all the characters who play music or sing would hate 2hu!Samuragochi. Maybe she'd cause an incident by stealing their musical abilities or something.

What if Fox News ran a segment on the Touhou series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on August 27, 2015, 04:27:44 AM
Something tells me that all the characters who play music or sing would hate 2hu!Samuragochi. Maybe she'd cause an incident by stealing their musical abilities or something.

What if Fox News ran a segment on the Touhou series?

.......Please no. Please dear god no. Don't let the ignorant Christian Right find out about this series.

I pass.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on August 27, 2015, 04:53:48 AM
What if Touhou BDSM?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on August 27, 2015, 05:56:33 AM
What if Touhou BDSM?

Doesn't that already exist?

What if Touhou X Blazblue?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on August 27, 2015, 11:10:00 AM
People would think that Hakumen would curbstomp all 2hu... and then Sagume said that Hakumen exist

Cue more useless power level discussion

Or perhaps we'll get Hisoutensoku or ULiL styled BlazBlue game

What if ULiL styled BlazBlue game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on August 27, 2015, 12:28:41 PM
People would hate it because it's incredibly different from the other games for seemingly no reason.

What if Guilty Gear X Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on August 28, 2015, 02:06:06 PM
What if Miko decided to take over Japan?

Sorry, bad question. Just had a thought.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PabloHijiri on August 28, 2015, 06:59:59 PM
An epic battle between the Myouren Temple, the Divine Spirit Mausoleum crew, and the Moriya gang will take place, and Reimu will win it.

What if Shou is really a fox?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 28, 2015, 09:30:22 PM
What if Guilty Gear X Touhou?
Then we will never know because LawfulInsane denied you a proper answer.

What if Miko decided to take over Japan?
Then:
Miko: Here's a picture of me graduating dictator college, and here's one of me taking over Japan, with smiles! And here's where I'll put a trophy... IF I HAD ONE!! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omguEZ7jy5E)

What if Sagume said "Everything I say is the truth, I'm being truthful right now" (Which because of her powers, would cause the "Everything I say is a lie" paradox.)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on August 28, 2015, 09:34:43 PM
What if Sagume said "Everything I say is the truth, I'm being truthful right now" (Which because of her powers, would cause the "Everything I say is a lie" paradox.)?

The universe would rewrite logic so that the statement would logically still be a lie.

(In seriousness, nothing would probably happen. Powers in touhou have never been absolute remember?)

What if Junko got her own spinoff?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 29, 2015, 02:13:29 AM
It would be about her tangling with the Lunarians in order to get to meet Chang'e face to face. A bad ending would be her getting beaten by the moon rabbits, giving her no choice but to flee in defeat. A good ending would be her similarly not be able to confront Chang'e, but along the way, she will end up learning that revenge isn't everything and that being able to forgive someone makes you the stronger person.

What if Sagume was actually Yabusame Houren?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on August 29, 2015, 02:19:20 AM
What if Sagume was actually Yabusame Houren?

We would have misunderstood the entirety of Len'en's plot.

What if Junko was actually Zuifeng Tenkai?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on August 29, 2015, 04:06:42 AM
What if Hatsune Miku is actually a disguised Miko?

What if Scientology came to Gensokyo?

What if, in "Life of Pi", we replaced Pi with Reimu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on August 29, 2015, 04:53:57 AM
What if Hatsune Miku is actually a disguised Miko?

What if Scientology came to Gensokyo?

What if, in "Life of Pi", we replaced Pi with Reimu?

Please answer the previous question.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on August 29, 2015, 10:46:58 AM
Please answer the previous question.

My apologies.

We would have misunderstood the entirety of Len'en's plot.

What if Junko was actually Zuifeng Tenkai?

/barrier between Lunar Capital and Gensokyo/
/Lunarians are screwed/

Sorry if I got things wrong. I'm not familiar with Len'en.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on August 29, 2015, 01:41:53 PM
If you don't understand a question, then leave it there until someone who understands it answers it. That's how I go along in this topic. Also, ask just one question per post.

What if United States Of Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on August 29, 2015, 02:42:03 PM
If you don't understand a question, then leave it there until someone who understands it answers it. That's how I go along in this topic. Also, ask just one question per post.

What if United States Of Gensokyo?

Thanks for the advice.

Yukari is president. Everyone is screwed by default because of that. However...the court system would be extremely efficient due to Eiki. The USG would become the world's leading nuclear power...and accidentally destroy the world with artificial suns.

What if Yuuka was a Danganronpa character? (Ultimate Sadistic Creature and all.) Not sure if someone already asked this, sorry.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: AlterEgo on August 30, 2015, 05:52:34 AM
She'd have the title of Ultimate Plant Researcher(or something that's about flowers/plants). Basically, she knows almost all the plant there is and what they can do. Not sure if it'll be useful in investigating though. And also she has a hidden talent that she hasn't shown to anyone yet. But rumours say that, she was once used to be a leader of an all girls biker gang.

What if Remilia's real form is a very VERY old lady and she's just using her vampire abilities to look young? (check out Castlevania's Gilles de Rais for reference)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on August 30, 2015, 05:56:06 AM
What if Remilia's real form is a very VERY old lady and she's just using her vampire abilities to look young? (check out Castlevania's Gilles de Rais for reference)
Then she would be inducted as the newest member of the Gensokyo Coalition of Old Hags, whose current members include Yukari, Kanako, Eirin, and Byakuren.

What if SiniStar Sapphire (http://evilnazgul0616.deviantart.com/art/The-Dangers-of-Experimenting-on-Fairies-557080061) actually existed?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on August 30, 2015, 06:05:46 AM
Then she would be inducted as the newest member of the Gensokyo Coalition of Old Hags, whose current members include Yukari, Kanako, Eirin, and Byakuren.

What if SiniStar Sapphire (http://evilnazgul0616.deviantart.com/art/The-Dangers-of-Experimenting-on-Fairies-557080061) actually existed?

She'd either win the Fairy Wars or be too stupid to use her augmentations.

What if Touhou x Evillious Chronicles?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 05, 2015, 11:55:29 AM
A large portion of the fanbase will scream in frustration due to the fact that would literally be a Touhou and Vocaloid crossover and we all know how much animosity there is that exists between the two fandoms.

What if Monsters, Inc. x Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on September 05, 2015, 12:36:51 PM
A large portion of the fanbase will scream in frustration due to the fact that would literally be a Touhou and Vocaloid crossover and we all know how much animosity there is that exists between the two fandoms.

What if Monsters, Inc. x Touhou?

I actually knew nothing of any animosity.

Youkai Inc, probably run by Yukari, is dedicated to making the humans scared so the youkai don't disappear in a puff of logic. Byakuren tries to be friendly and, if she succeeds at being friendly, everything collapses unlike in Monsters, Inc. Because, unlike monsters, youkai aren't meant to be thought favorably of.

This is why the spell card systems exist. Youkai can cause conflict, but it remains nonlethal and the shrine maiden can easily put a stop to it, everyone wins.

...I may have something wrong here.

What if Touhou x Harry Potter? Not sure if done before but whatever.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 05, 2015, 01:48:22 PM
(http://img07.deviantart.net/96c3/i/2013/002/c/9/touhou_harry_potter_by_redcomic-d5q5f32.png)
Sauce (http://redcomic.deviantart.com/art/TouHou-Harry-Potter-346253726)

What if a 2hu killed JFK?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on September 05, 2015, 04:18:11 PM
What if a 2hu killed JFK?
She would be a Lunarian.

What if Youmu and Tenshi were forced to fight with pool noodles?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on September 05, 2015, 09:41:40 PM
She would be a Lunarian.

What if Youmu and Tenshi were forced to fight with pool noodles?

Well, with enough force behind it, they could still hurt the other one.

What if Patchouli Knowledge met Yomiko Readman from Read or Die?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 06, 2015, 01:19:35 AM
Patchy: "I think you might like to know that I apparently work for Beethoven."

What if we had a German 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on September 06, 2015, 03:11:19 AM
What if we had a German 2hu?

Then the theory of Yukari being a Nazi 'COULD' be true. Just because she fired swastika-shaped lasers during the Phantasm stage.
or
A German character?
Then Beethoven is the answer! *bad-dum-tss*

What if Reimu's homing Fantasy Seal orbs could be counter-measured by flares?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 06, 2015, 04:23:23 AM
Then the sale of flares in Gensokyo would suddenly spike.

What if Sagume said that Touhou existed?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 06, 2015, 01:28:32 PM
Then Touhou would cease to exi...
*Paradox*

What if Sendai Hakurei No Miko comes back in the next game as a sort of Wham Episode (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WhamEpisode)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 07, 2015, 04:10:23 AM
It will actually turn out to be Mamizou in a convincing disguise all along.

Which will eventually result in a really angry Reimu and a badly beat-up tanuki.

What if we had a traffic light 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on September 07, 2015, 07:00:04 AM
Then we would see Yukari gettng arrested for speeding with her train or Byakuren, with her motorcycle.

What if Reisen was a raisin?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 07, 2015, 08:10:28 AM
Then Tei would be tea, Seiran would be a retro warplane and Ringo would be a Beatle.

What if John Lennon was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on September 07, 2015, 10:59:08 PM
I dunno when she'd be encountered, but it would definitely be due to an incident where many once-famous dead people show up in Gensokyo for unknown reasons.

What if all the water in Gensokyo turned into alcohol?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 08, 2015, 01:17:20 AM
Then the Oni will try to take over Gensokyo so they can have as much alcohol as they want.

What if the real Sendai Hakurei no Miko returns, and she was neither Mamizou nor Nue in disguise?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 08, 2015, 01:55:14 AM
Then she would have a difficult time adjusting to the new Gensokyo because she lived during a time where there were no spell card battles. She'd get flattened in a heartbeat.

What if the Sendai Hakurei no Miko was actually Mima?!
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on September 08, 2015, 08:48:24 AM
What if the Sendai Hakurei no Miko was actually Mima?!
Then Reimu would tell her to exterminate herself.

What if everyone's outfit suddenly had inverted colors?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on September 08, 2015, 02:03:35 PM
What if everyone's outfit suddenly had inverted colors?
Blame Seija
or praise her, if you wanted new colors

What if Clownpiece got into metal ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 08, 2015, 03:45:08 PM
Junko would insist on purifying the metal first before letting anyone or anything touch it. Then she'll be disappointed because this "metal" isn't literal metal as in substances such as tin and iron, rather, it is a genre of music. So she lets Clownpiece go ahead and do whatever she pleases with it.

And the metal music Clownpiece makes ends up so (deliberately) terrible, it drives everybody nuts.

What if Gensokyo was really a realm dreamed up by Maribel and that every single thing and incident in it was just part of her imagination? ((That might explain why Yukari looks a lot like her, she (Maribel) invented it after all, so it makes sense that she would design the guardian of the universe after herself.))
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on September 08, 2015, 04:12:15 PM
What if Gensokyo was really a realm dreamed up by Maribel and that every single thing and incident in it was just part of her imagination? ((That might explain why Yukari looks a lot like her, she (Maribel) invented it after all, so it makes sense that she would design the guardian of the universe after herself.))
Then Maribel being diagnosed with delirium would make way more sense

Maribel : "But Renko... y- you came along with me on satellite,... TORIFUNE, right ?  :ohdear:"
Renko : "Sorry Merry, but... I PLAYED ALONG !!!"
*DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!* (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW7Op86ox9g)
*To be continued in the next episode not*

What if Shinmyoumaru got stung by a bee ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on September 08, 2015, 04:58:54 PM
What if Shinmyoumaru got stung by a bee ?
She would punch the bee in the face. Then die.

What if Yuyuko ate a bee?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 09, 2015, 03:40:59 AM
What if Yuyuko ate a bee?
There once was a strange ghost who swallowed a bee.
I don't know why she swallowed a bee! Perhaps we'll see.

There once was a strange ghost who swallowed a spider.
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the bee.
 I don't know why she swallowed a bee! Perhaps we'll see.

There once was a strange ghost who swallowed a...


And this pretty much goes on until the universe is eaten. The end.



What if flower nectar is like crack to Wriggle?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on September 09, 2015, 03:46:31 AM
Then we get a spinoff based on Breaking Bad, with Yuuka in the role of Heisenberg.

What if Touhou was based on Ancient Egyptian mythology, rather than Japanese?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 09, 2015, 08:42:19 AM
Then we would have more BGMs that sound like Rigid Paradise and character names that sound like Ankhmunra and Imhotep.

What if we had a 2hu dressed in 1700s men's fashion, complete with powdered wig?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 09, 2015, 08:53:03 AM
Chance are that said character may actually be a guy, or a girl that looked like a guy, or... *head explodes*

What if the next Touhou game featured personifications of various countries as new characters?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 09, 2015, 09:28:28 AM
He2hulia?

What if ZUN sampled more classical music for the OST of his next game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on September 09, 2015, 01:31:24 PM
Newbies who played Deathsmiles would get horrible flashbacks.

What if all of Sado ended up in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 10, 2015, 01:59:22 AM
Then Futatsuiwa would not be the only one from Sado.

What if Clownpiece was a Confedewate flag instead of a Murrican one?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 10, 2015, 05:34:48 AM
What if Clownpiece was a Confedewate flag instead of a Murrican one?
Then she would speak in a southern accent.

What if Cirno asked Junko to purify her intelligence and strength?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 10, 2015, 06:08:12 AM
Then she would wind up being purely without intelligence or strength.

What if Kantai Collection fans got angry that Touhou beat KanColle to an official American character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on September 10, 2015, 08:05:25 AM
What if Kantai Collection fans got angry that Touhou beat KanColle to an official American character?

SHIPPING WAR! XD

What if a giant statue of Clownpiece replaced Lady Liberty?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 10, 2015, 04:06:39 PM
What if a giant statue of Clownpiece replaced Lady Liberty?
Then it would have the words "Touhou Hijack LOL" engraved into the base.

What if Cirno became a talk-show host?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 11, 2015, 12:54:08 AM
"Hey, the answer is actually zero! Why? Because there are no buses in Gensokyo!"

What if we have a Russian equivalent to Gensokyo? (Please don't answer with anything like Soviet Gensokyo)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Der_Bright_Poster on September 11, 2015, 01:32:56 AM
Remilia Scarlet would be the leader and we have the Touhou Red Alert!!! series.

What if Touhou outsells Call of Duty in America.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on September 11, 2015, 12:16:32 PM
ZUN would become millionaire, and even more people would be attracted to it. Unfortunately, we'd also get a lot of haters.

What if the next game stars Yukari trying to expand Gensokyo's borders?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 11, 2015, 01:38:50 PM
It would be due to a major internal disaster that would require a temporary border expansion in order to resolve. After the issue is settled, Yukari will revert the barriers back to their original size.

What if we had an animated Touhou movie from Disney/Pixar?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on September 11, 2015, 03:42:28 PM
It would be full of those (https://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,18532.0.html).

What if Cirno evaporated, and it rained Cirnoes during the next storm?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: FlareDragon on September 11, 2015, 04:01:30 PM
It would storm for 9 days and 9 nights, and it would smell of snow and ice.
If you looked closely, you'd see something in the clouds, and if you looked even closer you might see the face of a fairy once weak.
And you would know that there was never a doubt: She was always the strongest.

Also, you'd be able to dodge rain for once (Icicle Fall Easy anyone?)

What if Junko actually became friends with the Lunarians?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on September 11, 2015, 04:23:25 PM
What if Junko actually became friends with the Lunarians?
"Hello, hello, everyoooonne~ since we are gooood friends and all, could you let me see Chang'E ? I owe her quite a bit, you see, so I would looooove to pay her back... in nature..."

What if Kasen kidnapped Genji ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Der_Bright_Poster on September 12, 2015, 01:57:55 AM
Well Genji would surely appear in the background of the next Wild and horned Hermit manga. Then fans would maybe ask even more, for more mima.

What if there was a chair Tsukumogami in the Touhou game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on September 12, 2015, 02:14:42 AM
What if there was a chair Tsukumogami in the Touhou game?

She would just sit there without causing trouble.

What if, far into the future, there was a microwave tsukumogami?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 12, 2015, 03:25:21 AM
Then she would have the ability to manipulate microwaves (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microwave).

What if Clownpiece borrowed Kasen's eagle?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 12, 2015, 03:41:29 AM
What if Clownpiece borrowed Kasen's eagle?
Then she would use the eagle to attempt to Americanize Gensokyo.

What if there was a touhou version of Meet the Amazing Soldier (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_LMJ1U-A3U), with Clownpiece as Soldier?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 12, 2015, 10:02:32 AM
GOD BLESS AMERICA! *lasers and stars fly out of nowhere*

Also, Kasen's eagle returns Clownpiece her jester cap.

What if America was located in Hell?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on September 14, 2015, 09:08:17 AM
What if America was located in Hell?

Every Americans would struggle to get out of it and finally making the word 'FREEDOM' mean something.
or
'FREEDOM' is a freakin' trap!

What if Utsuho sang this?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkAp5gAYDUQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkAp5gAYDUQ)
                                                     ^Is that how you post URL's?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on September 14, 2015, 01:43:22 PM
Code: [Select]
[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?=v=IkAp5gAYDUQ]this[/url]
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 14, 2015, 10:37:14 PM
Then Mystia would show up and proclaim that she sings better.

What if Cirno went to Antartica?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on September 15, 2015, 08:11:05 AM
It would be her new HQ and solves the problem of rising sea levels.

What if Youkai Mountain was dropped at the height of it's summit?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 15, 2015, 02:29:56 PM
Then a major earthquake will happen and everybody blames Tenshi.

What if Gustav Mahler was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on September 16, 2015, 02:40:45 AM
He wouldn't play his musics, our Gensokyan musicians will play for him!

What if Satori was an interrogator?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 16, 2015, 03:15:03 AM
What if Satori was an interrogator?
Then she will succeed every time. (Unless the person being interrogated is either her sister or Yukari.)

What if we get a Touhou version of Poker Night at the Inventory with Satori as the dealer?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on September 16, 2015, 12:40:20 PM
She'd reveal interesting tidbits about the other players while she deals the hand. Phhantasm difficulty would have her join as an actual player, alongside Yukari, Kanako, and Eirin. Only world-class poker masters would be able to take Satori out .

What if ZUN and Yotsubane teamed up for a special STG project?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 19, 2015, 10:35:06 AM
To be frank, it wouldn't make much of a difference because nobody really knows who Yotsubane is anyway. The Len'en part of the fanbase might misread it as "Yabusame", though.

What if Cirno was an 8-ball?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on September 19, 2015, 03:09:25 PM
What if Cirno was an 8-ball?
She would be on a perpetual quest to become a 9-ball.

What if Okuu was an owl?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 19, 2015, 05:25:15 PM
What if Okuu was an owl?
Then owl-wisdom-guided nuclear philosophy! But in all other areas she behaves like her normal sixball self.

What if Wriggle tried to serenade Mystia?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 20, 2015, 09:18:34 AM
Considering what kind of Youkai they were, chances are that it will backfire easily...

What if the Three Mischevious Fairies signed a contract with Kyubey?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on September 20, 2015, 09:29:35 AM
Well, Marisa is the only witch available, so they'll probably get bopped pretty hard.

What if the Olympic Games were held in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 20, 2015, 11:49:59 AM
It would mean that the real world has discontinued the tradition of the Olympic Games for such a long time that they have already forgotten about it.

What if ZUN were actually Beethoven?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on September 20, 2015, 03:26:50 PM
It means ZUN is deaf. Or Beethoven faked being deaf.

What if Robin Hood and Little John from RH: Men in Tights (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Hood:_Men_in_Tights) in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 21, 2015, 01:02:43 AM
People would probably blame Marisa for the massive spike in burglary-related crimes, until they found out that she too is a frequent victim.

What if the Three Mischievous Fairies and the trio of Madoka swapped places?
^Appearance wise, the three fairies were dead ringers for Madoka, Mami and Homura...
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 22, 2015, 02:34:54 PM
Marisa will be doomed.

What if Johann Sebastian Bach was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on September 26, 2015, 04:35:41 PM
What if Johann Sebastian Bach was a Touhou?

Then he would have to compete with the music of the Prismrivers, Benben/Yatsuhashi/Raiko, and Mystia and Kyouko's Band.

What if we there was a Touhou version of Papers, Please (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF66vp-Hesc) where you played as Eiki?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Raikaria on September 27, 2015, 09:46:42 PM
Then he would have to compete with the music of the Prismrivers, Benben/Yatsuhashi/Raiko, and Mystia and Kyouko's Band.

What if we there was a Touhou version of Papers, Please (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF66vp-Hesc) where you played as Eiki?

Instead of the grimdark nature; we'd be searching fairies for frozen frogs and instead of terrorist attacks we would have Yukari fooling around.

What if Yukari wasn't lazy?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 27, 2015, 10:38:50 PM
Then he would have to compete with the music of the Prismrivers, Benben/Yatsuhashi/Raiko, and Mystia and Kyouko's Band.

I was actually expecting an answer more among the lines of "danmaku based around fugal themes, polyphony and counterpoint". :V

Anyway...then we wouldn't be able to defeat her in PCB, and the occult ball situation would get sorted through a lot more efficiently.

What if ZUN was actually as a fraud and it was revealed that most of the musical work attributed to him was written by his wife? (Oh dear...let's hope this never becomes true... :'S )
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on September 29, 2015, 12:11:35 PM
Someone better explain who made the songs from Touhou 1 until Touhou 7

What if ZUN secretly planning for a Touhou Anime as some sort of finale to Touhou plot?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on September 29, 2015, 04:32:19 PM
What if ZUN secretly planning for a Touhou Anime as some sort of finale to Touhou plot?
Everyone's collective head will explode when it is revealed that all the seemingly unrelated plots are really part of a complicated whole. Once it airs, ZUN will achieve transcendence and permeate the universe. All will become ZUN.

What if everyone referred to themselves in the third person.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on September 30, 2015, 12:51:14 AM
Some may refer to themselves as "-sama", others "-chan"... you get the idea...

What if we have modern day guns becoming Tsukumogami?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on September 30, 2015, 01:59:02 PM
Suddenly, everybody would put their mind to gun control issues.

Really depends on how the tsukumogami act though.

Not possible at ALL, but...what if QB tried to contract with...let's say Akyuu or Kosuzu. I'm not particularly good at this thread. I am truly sorry.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on September 30, 2015, 08:01:58 PM
Kosuzu would definitely take up Kyubey's offer regardless of reason, but probably would wind up turning into a Witch and getting killed off... if she doesn't get exterminated by Reimu for basically throwing away her humanity (depending on whether Madoka-style magical girls still count as human or not). I don't think Akyuu would even take up the offer unless someone important to her's involved. Like Kosuzu, for example.

What if there was an actual Castlevania X Touhou crossover (as in, the characters from both series end up meeting instead of elements of one influencing the other's universe like in the Komajou Densetsu series)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on October 01, 2015, 12:55:16 AM
The Belmonts better have something else prepared in case they have to deal with Dracula's daughter (Remilia).

I'm not particularly good at this thread. I am truly sorry.

You can ask any question as long as it makes sense and is family friendly. Also, have you ever heard of such things as crossovers?

What if we are all actually in Gensokyo the whole time?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on October 01, 2015, 03:14:32 AM
Kosuzu would definitely take up Kyubey's offer regardless of reason, but probably would wind up turning into a Witch and getting killed off... if she doesn't get exterminated by Reimu for basically throwing away her humanity (depending on whether Madoka-style magical girls still count as human or not). I don't think Akyuu would even take up the offer unless someone important to her's involved. Like Kosuzu, for example.

What if there was an actual Castlevania X Touhou crossover (as in, the characters from both series end up meeting instead of elements of one influencing the other's universe like in the Komajou Densetsu series)?

"Belmonts vs. Remi. Buy your tickets now. Tickets available at Moriya Shrine."

On an unrelated note, the Witches in Madoka are very close to the Heartless from KH.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 01, 2015, 07:58:16 AM
What if we are all actually in Gensokyo the whole time?

Then the Gensokyo we know and love is actually a pocket dimension inside a pocket dimension??? Somebody help me i can't process this :(

What if ZUN was your father?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on October 01, 2015, 02:24:47 PM
I would feel even more special than I do.

What if Gensokyo Warriors (i. e. Dynasty Warriors x Touhou)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Teewee on October 03, 2015, 01:17:19 AM
A rather fun, potentially genre-mixing game : o

If Sakuya was a social link in a TouhouxPersona fangame, which arcana would she be? And any other Touhou, for that matter.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Der_Bright_Poster on October 04, 2015, 05:24:29 AM
A rather fun, potentially genre-mixing game : o

If Sakuya was a social link in a TouhouxPersona fangame, which arcana would she be? And any other Touhou, for that matter.

Is Sakuya was a social link she would be a Aeon.

What if a touhou game got featured on Zero Punctuation on Escapist
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on October 04, 2015, 09:52:07 PM
Is Sakuya was a social link she would be a Aeon.

What if a touhou game got featured on Zero Punctuation on Escapist

"This game seems to have taken the entire internet by storm. And by the entire Internet I mean that subsection who can't find a girlfriend and resorts to buying those body pillows to fuck instead. Anyway, this game is harder than the sphincter of a rock and as usual with Japan, the difficulty settings are a load of bullshit and chips, being more accurately labeled as Hard, F**king Hard, you're more insane than an insane asylum patient, and "You Will Die". You play as a shrine maiden named Raymoo Hakurey  (and I don't apologize to the rabid fandom for misspelling the name) in an adventure through a plot so weird it makes Alice in Wonderland look sane by comparison. It's a shoot 'em up, and for those who don't know what that is and think of it as Call of Duty, I regret to inform you that your beloved franchise is not the center of the universe and indeed can drop 100 stories into the fiery inferno of hell itself."

Aaaaand so on.

What if Satori met Angel from the Maximum Ride series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on October 12, 2015, 06:54:16 PM
What if Satori met Angel from the Maximum Ride series?
This thread would be dead for another week.

What if EX-Rumia is actually Koakuma?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on October 12, 2015, 07:56:16 PM
Then it would be Stage-4-midboss-Rumia instead of EX.

What if ZUN collaborated with WotC for an official expansion of Magic set in Touhou's universe with canon of both sides overlapping?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 12, 2015, 07:58:33 PM
What if ZUN collaborated with WotC for an official expansion of Magic set in Touhou's universe with canon of both sides overlapping?
Then it would be awesome.

Also, since Persona was mentioned a few posts ago:
What if EX-Rumia is Rumia's shadow?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on October 12, 2015, 09:20:22 PM
Then she would look like this (Danbooru warning). (http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/694572?tags=persona+rumia)

What if Pokemon started appearing in Gensokyo (in other words, backwards Touhoumon)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 12, 2015, 10:15:11 PM
What if Pokemon started appearing in Gensokyo (in other words, backwards Touhoumon)?
Cirno will have a team consisting of nothing but Wynaut, Unown, Metapod, and Magikarp.

What if Sagume met Sepiroth?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on October 13, 2015, 12:25:34 AM
Many people might imagine that the team up is going to be overpowered, but when you consider what Sagume's ability is...

What if the Watatsuki Sisters get nerfed?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 13, 2015, 06:34:45 AM
Then they will appear as a boss or playable character in the games.

What if we had a Touhou caf??
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on October 13, 2015, 09:34:26 AM
Luna Child would be pleased.

What if the Watatsuki are actually really weak and were able to repel Yukari's army and SSiB "Team Rocket" (:V) only because Sagume interfered with her ability?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on October 13, 2015, 02:46:19 PM
Then it properly explains why Sagume, despite her very troublesome (and potentially tide-changing) ability gets to stay on the Moon. In any other cases, the Lunarians would've driven her off without a second thought.

What if the next Touhou game is neither bullet hell nor fighting game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on October 13, 2015, 04:04:14 PM
It'll be like HRtP.

What if ZUN saw Diamond in the Rough?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Der_Bright_Poster on October 13, 2015, 10:41:58 PM
If ZUN saw Diamond in the Rough he probably be unable to understand in it as it's written in English. However is he could read and understand english he'd probably be more interested in what else the western Touhou fan base has produced, as well as keeping a sharper pointed in general direction of the fanbase.
He also might change the character's apparent personalities again to something less fan preferred to get back at us if he felt that we were abusing our abilities to interpret Touhou characters as we wish, and as we currently do.

What would Team Shanghai Alice's name be as a developer, as well as her personality be like, if it got personified in the Hyperdimension Neptunia Series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on October 14, 2015, 05:28:56 AM
If ZUN saw Diamond in the Rough he probably be unable to understand in it as it's written in English.

What would Team Shanghai Alice's name be as a developer, as well as her personality be like, if it got personified in the Hyperdimension Neptunia Series?

To your first comment: I think you VAAAAAAAAAAASTLY underestimate how widespread English is.

As for that, here.

Name: Genso
Personality: Multiple. We have Rei, a pure and innocent girl who believes in justice, but can be lazy, Yu, who is a sage wise beyond her years, and Nae, a gaming nut.

I defer my question to the next in line, I really only comment on these to correct things I believe are in error.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 14, 2015, 06:07:43 AM
What if ZUN became a film music composer?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 15, 2015, 04:46:23 AM
What if ZUN became a film music composer?

Coming soon to a theater near you:

EoSD: The Movie.

Film score by ZUN.
Directed by Michael Bay.
Starring <Insert female actor here> as Reimu Hakurei.

What if Reimu and Marisa made a bet against Sanae and Youmu that Cirno could beat up Lily White in a fist-fight?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on October 16, 2015, 07:24:22 PM
What if Reimu and Marisa made a bet against Sanae and Youmu that Cirno could beat up Lily White in a fist-fight?
It would inexplicably end in a tie. The tiebreaker would be Youmu challenging Tenshi to a pool noodle duel.

What if (we had information that) Yamame had a family?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 16, 2015, 09:25:53 PM
What if (we had information that) Yamame had a family?
*Yamame picks up a dusty photo album*
Yamame: Here's a picture of mommy eating daddy's head... And here's one of me and my two hundred siblings riding on mommy's back... And here's one of my brothers and sisters cannibalizing each other... And here's me and my strongest siblings eating mommy's corpse... Good times... Good times... And now here's my twin sister, she was eaten by a bird... And here's one of my brother, he was also eaten by a bird... And here's my other sister, who died in an unfortunate accident involving a newspaper... And here's one of my only surviving sibling, I heard she moved to some place called "Australia" or something...

What if Yuuka met Flowey from Undertale?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on October 19, 2015, 03:41:00 AM
Gotta say, I don't think even Yuuka would like Flowey once she gets to know him. He may be a flower, but he is also an unrepentant douchebag who has no problems with killing children and monsters alike on a whim. Sure, Yuuka may kill people every now and again, but they usually shoot first and/or do something stupid like screw with her flowers. Besides, he'd probably shoot some of her flowers for the hell of it.

What if Yukari and Koishi got their powers switched?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Der_Bright_Poster on October 21, 2015, 06:02:03 AM
Gotta say, I don't think even Yuuka would like Flowey once she gets to know him. He may be a flower, but he is also an unrepentant douchebag who has no problems with killing children and monsters alike on a whim. Sure, Yuuka may kill people every now and again, but they usually shoot first and/or do something stupid like screw with her flowers. Besides, he'd probably shoot some of her flowers for the hell of it.

What if Yukari and Koishi got their powers switched?
We'd get to see Koishi's actual personality and Yukari would probably never be featured as a vital character in canon again.

What if the blue haired Girl from (Daokos) Daoko. - Girl got featured in a game as a 2chu.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on October 22, 2015, 11:03:38 AM
Sorry, but could you change your unanswerable question to an easier one to give a chance to others to question?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on October 22, 2015, 01:22:32 PM
We'd get to see Koishi's actual personality and Yukari would probably never be featured as a vital character in canon again.

What if the blue haired Girl from (Daokos) Daoko. - Girl got featured in a game as a 2chu.

I was going to wait until this one was answered by someone who understands it, but I agree with Hannibal_Kills in that perhaps no one else on this forum even understands what a "Daoko" is.  As such, I shall skip that question entirely and asks mine.

What if the entire Touhou series turned out to be a cover up for a top secret government-funded project?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on October 22, 2015, 03:42:08 PM
Then they are hiding it really  well.

What if Rumia is actually one of Flandre's copies that escaped from her control?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 22, 2015, 10:15:38 PM
What if Rumia is actually one of Flandre's copies that escaped from her control?
Then EX Rumia is the old Flandre personality.

What if Aya started hosting a gameshow in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 23, 2015, 09:56:36 AM
What if the blue haired Girl from (Daokos) Daoko. - Girl got featured in a game as a 2chu.

Then she'd be wearing proper clothes instead of a lingerie set. :'P

No question here. Answer Nazgul's, please! Just clearing up an unanswered question. Thanks!  :)

Edit: @Hannibal, not trying to start a fight, but I think your response to Poster was a bit on the impolite side. He was actually making a reference to this video (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag2THZKnwfE), which is sort of a sequel or prequel to that viral ME!ME!ME video, just so you might know. Sorry! :'P
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on October 23, 2015, 01:18:40 PM
What if Aya started hosting a gameshow in Gensokyo?

Then it'd be "Distraction", that absolutely raunchy British one.

What if they played baseball in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on October 23, 2015, 03:29:19 PM
The Onis would decimate everybody. Though the Gappers might stand a chance.

What if ZUN suddenly didn't like beer anymore?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on October 23, 2015, 03:36:23 PM
The Onis would decimate everybody. Though the Gappers might stand a chance.

What if ZUN suddenly didn't like beer anymore?

Huge loss of creativity ensues.

Also, Suika finally manages to outdrink ZUN.

What if Nitori worked on the American nuclear project in WW2? I'm really sorry if this is a horrible question.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 23, 2015, 08:30:09 PM
What if Nitori worked on the American nuclear project in WW2? I'm really sorry if this is a horrible question.
Aircraft would not be needed to deliver the A-bomb, because it would be delivered by SUPER YOUKAI WARHEAD!

And then after witnessing the devastation, Nitori then goes into a Heroic BSOD, turning to ZUN-esque levels of drinking and wondering My God, What Have I Done?


What if Chen went into heat?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 24, 2015, 09:47:49 AM
Ran: Aww, look. She's all grown up.

Yukari: We'd better spay her soon.


What if the planet Uranus was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on October 24, 2015, 09:59:29 AM
Dirty jokes about her name incoming.

What if berserk touhou? Not the manga, the crazy northmen warriors.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on October 24, 2015, 01:03:21 PM
What if berserk touhou? Not the manga, the crazy northmen warriors.

Then prepare to receive feathers, axes, arrows and bison Danmaku farther than the eye can see.

What if Erwin Rommel was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on October 25, 2015, 03:02:41 AM
She'd probably join up with Rika in order to get her book on tank warfare finished. Possibly end up getting caught up in a Gensokyo-wide WW2 reenactment.

What if hallucinogens started sending people to Gensokyo when taken?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: zero_breaker on October 25, 2015, 03:21:10 AM
People go missing all over the place because they're eaten by youkai.

What if, by some unknown means, spellcard rule is enforced over the entire world?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on October 25, 2015, 05:36:36 AM
War would be so much more fun...and much less deadly.

What if Kentucky Fried Mystia?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 05:38:31 AM
War would be so much more fun...and much less deadly.

What if Kentucky Fried Mystia?

Mystia: *dumb Kentuckian accent* What a hot day today, I'm so baked. Anyone got sunscreen?

What if Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 25, 2015, 06:22:10 AM
What if Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra?
Lunasa: Today we are no longer just poltergeist musicians and tsukumogami. From now on, we shall be known as the Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra! Now let's play our first symphony, right here on the outskirts of the human village!

Benben: Uh... I'm sorry, but I don't think our instruments are part of any kind of orchestra...

Yatsuhashi: Yeah... Maybe this was a bad idea...

Lunasa: Oh, shut up! Do you hear Raiko or either of my sisters complaining?

Raiko: Well, technically my instrument isn't part of an orchesta either. If I was a timpani youkai on the otherhand, I think I'd fit in much be-

Lyrica: Nobody cares what you think! Now give us a percussion line!

Merlin: Uh guys, I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but Mystia's band just started a concert on the other side of the village just now...

Lunasa: WHAT!?! Are you friggin' kidding me!?! God damnit! We've been out-shined again! Curse that Night Sparrow... Okay.... Calm down... It's not the end of the world... Alright! New plan: Screw the orchestra, let's just head on over there, and play obnoxiously. Maybe we can make them sound terrible!

And that's the story of how the Gensokyo Youkai Symphony Orchestra was born and disbanded on the same night.


What if Seija consistently gets Wakasagihime, Sekibanki, and Kagerou's names wrong?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 09:41:51 AM
That would be why they all joined in the race to trap her in ISC.

What if everyone on this thread apologized profusely in every post? I'm sorry if this question offends anyone.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on October 25, 2015, 10:24:36 AM
That would be why they all joined in the race to trap her in ISC.

What if everyone on this thread apologized profusely in every post? I'm sorry if this question offends anyone.

Then I'd stop doing it.

What if Kaguya and Eirin came from Mars instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 11:54:09 AM
Then...explain LoLK???!?!?!?!?!?!?!1 @_@
Also, Kaguya and Eirin would be small, green and have three eyes.

What if Touhou x Steven Universe?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on October 25, 2015, 01:36:21 PM
That crossover is going to be insignificant because very few people knew what Steven Universe is.

What if the next Touhou game turned out to be an official crossover with Kantai Collection?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: zero_breaker on October 25, 2015, 03:02:01 PM
Murasa is the Extra Boss.

What if Aya become a detective? (somewhat inspired by FS 32)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 25, 2015, 03:24:58 PM
That crossover is going to be insignificant because very few people knew what Steven Universe is.

You have got to be kidding me. It's all over the Internet now! Even one of the storyboard artists working on it is a fan of Touhou! ;_;
That same storyboard artist drew a picture of the character Lapis Lazuli (not Hecatia) cosplaying as Cirno. (http://laurenzuke.tumblr.com/post/116424002429/the-strongest-in-gemsokyo)

What if Aya become a detective? (somewhat inspired by FS 32)

She will also play the role of crime scene photographer. However, she will eventually get more occupied taking photographs than actually trying to solve the crime itself.

What if Hecatia Lapislazuli met Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on October 25, 2015, 10:05:11 PM
What if Hecatia Lapislazuli met Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe?

Given the fact that they have quite similar names, I'm thinking like this if they met.

SU Lapis Lazuli : Hecatia, I wanted to say something.
Hecatia : What is it?
Lapis Lazuli : I am your freakin' mother.
Hecatia : Uhh... Okay... *confused

What if Gensokyo had a Self-Defense Force?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on October 26, 2015, 05:18:58 PM
Its members must be the most bored guys ever. No one from outside ever tries to trespass the border.

What if The Elder Scrolls: Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 26, 2015, 06:24:25 PM
What if The Elder Scrolls: Gensokyo?
Then Gensokyo would be equivalent to Tamriel, Hisotensoku is the Numidium, Makai would be the equivalent to Dagon's Plane of Oblivion, Eiki and Komachi will be 100% psychic and will know every single time you break the law, Eiki's lectures will always start with "STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!," or "STOP! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW!" and 200 years later Gensokyo will be full of dragons.

What if Papyrus from Undertale was hired as the Scarlet Devil Mansion's chef?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on October 26, 2015, 06:35:12 PM
What if Papyrus from Undertale was hired as the Scarlet Devil Mansion's chef?
Spaghetti would be the only thing on the menu. Also, it would have to be made with MTT Brand Artificial Garlic Flavour For Vampires.

What if Orin was your pet?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 27, 2015, 01:43:08 AM
I would have to deal with a lot of dead things appearing at my doorstep...wait

I would hear a lot of loud screechy cat noises in the unholy hours of the night...wait

I would have to make sure she doesn't try to claim the soul of the hamster...wait

--Actually, it'd be just like owning a normal cat, to a certain extent.


What if we had a valkyrie 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on October 27, 2015, 02:11:17 PM
What if we had a valkyrie 2hu?
Her theme would be "The ride of the 2hu", composed by ZUN

What if Chen bought a shotgun ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on October 27, 2015, 05:58:14 PM
What if Chen bought a shotgun ?
It would have been bought with money earned by working at a cat cafe.

What if someone asked what would happen when we reach reply #666.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on October 27, 2015, 09:32:07 PM
What if we had a valkyrie 2hu?

Alternate answer to this question. The Valkyrie from Legend of Valkyrie finally finds new life in a new game.

What if someone asked what would happen when we reach reply #666.

You just did and nothing seemed to happen, so...

What if there was a crossover between Touhou and The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth (I picked Afterbirth solely to disqualify the "Binding of Alice" mod.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 28, 2015, 08:12:15 PM
What if there was a crossover between Touhou and The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth (I picked Afterbirth solely to disqualify the "Binding of Alice" mod.)
Well, since Afterbirth isn't out yet (Only a few days till it's released though :D), I can only speculate that it would be like "Binding of Alice" (Which I didn't even know existed until you brought it up.) with more bosses, items, room types, and alternate floors. Plus a new final boss. And will have the new Reimu Greed mode.

Also Sekibanki will be either the Headless Horseman, or the new Ragman boss. Because the latter has head-throwing as an attack, while the former should be obvious.

And Team ⑨ will be the harbingers.

What if Renko is secretly evil and is only friends with Maribel so she can use her to find a way into Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on October 28, 2015, 08:38:08 PM
Then "trying to get to Gensokyo and cause problems" is some serious hereditary issue in the Usami lineage.

What if Alice is actually the doll, and is getting manipulated by inchlings that just pretend to be dolls?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 28, 2015, 10:24:49 PM
Then "trying to get to Gensokyo and cause problems" is some serious hereditary issue in the Usami lineage.

What if Alice is actually the doll, and is getting manipulated by inchlings that just pretend to be dolls?

Then she must be a very lifelike doll, and the inchling dolls must be very convincing, since Medicine can't tell the difference.

What if Shinmyoumaru discovered stilts?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on October 28, 2015, 11:42:58 PM
What if Shinmyoumaru discovered stilts?

STILTS

(serious answer: she'd still be too small to use them)

What if stilts didn't exist?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 28, 2015, 11:47:53 PM
What if stilts didn't exist?
Nothing would happen, since they aren't popular in Gensokyo anyway.
Also, it would be Sagume's fault that they no longer exist.

What if the Aya released an in-depth report on stilts in the Bunbunmaru?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on October 29, 2015, 12:57:14 AM
It would mean that stilts have somehow disappeared from use in the real world and have experienced a sudden spike in popularity in Gensokyo.

What if Junko became an orchestra conductor?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 29, 2015, 01:14:53 AM
What if Junko became an orchestra conductor?

Junko: No, Clownpiece. Mayonnaise is not an instrument... Horse Radish isn't an instrument either.

What if the residents of Gensokyo decided to make a movie, with Kanako as the director, Kyouko as the sound director, Utusho as the special effects person, Remilia as the lead actor, Reimu as the producer, Yukari as the executive producer, and with the Prismrivers writing the film score?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on October 29, 2015, 01:16:51 AM
Said movie will not have any major critics review, mostly because it was never aired outside Gensokyo.

What if the next event in Kantai Collection is a collaboration with Touhou? Please don't just give Murasa as your straight answer.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on October 29, 2015, 02:04:30 AM
What if the next event in Kantai Collection is a collaboration with Touhou? Please don't just give Murasa as your straight answer.
Okay, I won't just say "Murasa".

Komachi, Futo and Murasa. :P

What if every answer on this thread, starting from this post, was given in "Mathematician's Answers" (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MathematiciansAnswer)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Searinox119 on October 29, 2015, 06:04:08 AM
All things considered, there may be a distinct possibility that the resouce named "Mathematician's Answers" has less than infinite possible answers and therefore answers on the thread would eventually start repeating.
This, of course, is completely useless since we don't know the diameter and length of the thread you're proposing to write answers on, or where it's currently located. There's a possibility that the answer is "Nobody would manage to write anything on the thread, it's too small".

What if the Occult Balls were actually rigged by Yukari or on her orders just so the others would solve the incident for her?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on November 04, 2015, 09:01:32 PM
What if the Occult Balls were actually rigged by Yukari or on her orders just so the others would solve the incident for her?
Then Yukari is lazy, as usual.

What if the Five Magic Stones are actually sentient Occult Balls?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on November 05, 2015, 12:41:18 AM
Then it means that they have orchestrated every event in the series since their first appearance in Lotus Land Story.

What if the series was all just a cover up by the Japanese Self-Defense Force to conceal the existence of Gensokyo from the general public and the rest of the world? Reference: tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FictionAsCoverUp (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FictionAsCoverUp)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on November 05, 2015, 01:25:06 AM
Then ZUN would be really, really, really rich as this means he is being specially paid by the government to fictionalize Gensokyo in a bid to cover its existence up.

Also, if the information is leaked, fans of Touhou would flock to Japan in hopes of finding its actual location.


What if this (http://steven-universe.wikia.com/wiki/Peridot) was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on November 05, 2015, 10:44:28 AM
Nitori might want to take a look at those gadgets.

What if Sakuya's knives were replaced with spoons?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on November 05, 2015, 12:23:46 PM
Then she could feed hundreds of babies in her 'ZA WARUDO' mode.

What if stray Danmaku is as dangerous as stray bullets?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on November 05, 2015, 03:44:13 PM
Then you may want to stock up on helmets and body armor, depending on the type of Danmaku that you'll be encountering.

What if Touhou X Gate (that Anime in which the Japanese Self-Defense Force actually fights mythical creatures and magicians)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on November 05, 2015, 04:12:52 PM
What if Touhou X Gate (that Anime in which the Japanese Self-Defense Force actually fights mythical creatures and magicians)?
It'll be about how the JSDF forces that were sent through the gate somehow ended in Gensokyo instead of the world their invaders came from. They eventually realise that this place has nothing to do with their invaders and apologise for the unrest that their sudden appearance caused. Yukari'll eventually send them back and go to sleep, putting everything back in its normal state, except for a few hardcore Touhou fan soldiers that mysteriously disappeared there... quite suspicious...

What if Seiran got a promotion ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: shoryusatsu999 on November 05, 2015, 04:25:27 PM
If becoming the Watatsukis' pet like Rei'sen counts as a promotion, that's probably what would happen.

What if Reimu started an Incident?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on November 05, 2015, 05:03:55 PM
It will be like the Eternal Night Incident: cause it, then claim to have punished the culprits and take all the glory.

What if the next spinoff game is about a Great Youkai War between foxes and tanuki, lead by Ran and Mamizou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on November 05, 2015, 05:47:50 PM
It's a fangame! (http://google.com/war-of-fox-and-badger.html)

What if Clownpiece ran a jewelry shop?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on November 12, 2015, 06:04:15 PM
There will be a high demand from America.

What if the fairies from Peter Pan "dying" whenever someone expresses disbelief for them are actually being warped to Gensokyo?

(Thanks for changing your question to an easier one, by the way.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on November 13, 2015, 11:02:11 AM
It means Yukari has done a really good job with that "border of fantasy and reality".

What if Sagume gets her own spinoff game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on November 13, 2015, 05:29:33 PM
What if Sagume gets her own spinoff game?
In an interesting turn for the series, it will neither be a danmaku game nor a fighting game. Instead it would be a puzzle game where the players must choose the correct line of dialogue for an appropriate situation, or risk permanently screwing up reality.
It would then spark wars within the fanbase, for being so different from previous games. Eventually leading to the fanbase to deny its existence.

What if TellTale Games presents: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Uruwi on November 13, 2015, 05:37:20 PM
What if TellTale Games presents: Embodiment of Scarlet Devil?

ZUN will not allow it.
If ZUN wills it, Sxxxxx might get his way too.

What if Junko killed the protagonists?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on November 13, 2015, 05:47:55 PM
What if Junko killed the protagonists?
All future installments will star Clownpiece, and will take place outside of Gensokyo, which cannot exist anymore with Reimu dead.

What if Remilia got a Mr. Handy robot?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on November 17, 2015, 10:47:05 PM
She might want to keep it away from Flandre <- just resurrecting the thread

What if Yukari ate all the hermits?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on November 17, 2015, 10:50:59 PM
She might want to keep it away from Flandre <- just resurrecting the thread

What if Yukari ate all the hermits?
Then the next time she goes to the toilet, she'll create a Hermit-crap.
*ba dum tiss!*
*Gets booed and heckled off the stage for how horrendously bad that pun was.*

What if Momiji acted like the Lesser Dog from Undertale whenever somebody pet her? (Please do not just link to a certain image made by Ciryes....)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on November 18, 2015, 01:44:55 AM
Sekibanki: Hey! That was my spellcard!

Continuing the Undertale references, what if Yamame had a bake sale?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on November 18, 2015, 02:27:41 AM
Continuing the Undertale references, what if Yamame had a bake sale?
All proceeds will go to real Earth Spiders, and the goodies will contain spiders. And Yamame challenges those who refuse to buy anything to a spellcard duel.

What if Papyrus showed up in the Human Village?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Cybeast710 on November 18, 2015, 05:59:13 AM
All proceeds will go to real Earth Spiders, and the goodies will contain spiders. And Yamame challenges those who refuse to buy anything to a spellcard duel.

What if Papyrus showed up in the Human Village?

Deliberately misinterpreting the question for comic effect:

Papyrus is an ancient form of paper, so it would be used if Keine needed more paper! Although it's no parchment, that's for sure.

What if someone who ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME felt like answering this question?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on November 18, 2015, 07:06:34 AM
Papyrus woud probably be mistaken for a sentient anatomy model and Keine would take him to class to use him to teach her students about the skeleton or something.

What if the forum's font changed to Comic Sans?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on November 18, 2015, 07:16:58 AM
It actually happened. Somebody died. Probably.

What if a huge meteorite were heading to Gensokyo, threatening to wipe it out?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on November 18, 2015, 08:07:57 AM
It actually happened. Somebody died. Probably.

What if a huge meteorite were heading to Gensokyo, threatening to wipe it out?

The font wasn't Comic Sans. It was Comic Neue. Here's a comparison:
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/20/Comic_Neue_and_Comic_Sans_comparison_(DYK).svg/1024px-Comic_Neue_and_Comic_Sans_comparison_(DYK).svg.png)

Yukari would contact the SDM and get Flandre to break it up into tiny insignificant pieces before it hits Earth.

What if we had spoopy 2hu skeletons?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on November 18, 2015, 08:14:40 AM
What if we had spoopy 2hu skeletons?

Then they'd send shivers down our spines...

Or this:
(http://41.media.tumblr.com/08cc72bd0d9d5b29b67b285422c8bdde/tumblr_nvdd7yUmd51qjod6ko1_1280.png)


What if Yukkuri cockfighting?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on November 18, 2015, 02:57:09 PM
Anything that looked like Sekibanki would be banned from the premises due to fear of cheating.

What if the Aki Sisters were popular?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on November 18, 2015, 03:46:02 PM
There would be more stuff about them, that would increase their popularity even more.

What if everyone got Hecatia's fashion sense?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on November 20, 2015, 01:22:37 AM
Then Hecatia wouldn't stick out like a sore thumb anymore.

What if Sans from Undertale was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on December 01, 2015, 05:41:17 PM
What if Sans from Undertale was a 2hu?
Reimu will have a bad ORIGINAL JOKE time. Every spellcard will also have a bone related pun that only works in Japanese.

What if Yukari met Murtaugh (http://submachine.wikia.com/wiki/Murtaugh)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Bic?- on December 10, 2015, 10:01:43 PM
Then Yukari, after an existential crisis, will become ZUN's favourite drinking buddy.

What if Shiki Eiki gets bigger boobs?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on December 10, 2015, 10:29:25 PM
What if Shiki Eiki gets bigger boobs?
Then Komachi's will shrink.

What if Murasa "sank" Yumemi's Probability Space Hypervessel?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on December 11, 2015, 01:17:36 AM
The destruction of the Hyperspace Probability Vessel will probably trigger something that tears up the fabric of space-time, leading to another Incident that will feature the science-minded characters such as Rikako Asakura and the others as playable characters (or at least sidekicks ala Imperishable Nights).

What if Touhou Arcade?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on December 11, 2015, 01:44:25 AM
What if Touhou Arcade?
Then it will play like the PC games, except the difficulty is permanently locked on lunatic, you have to complete two loops to go to the extra stage, and you have to keep feeding it quarters if you lose all your lives.

What if Rikako, Rika, Chiyuri, and Yumemi all formed an alliance?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on December 11, 2015, 02:27:28 PM
No one would know about it unless they appear in modern canon :V

What if Rinnosuke's assistant is Youki?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on December 11, 2015, 02:53:38 PM
Rinnosuke might only be barely able to tolerate the intimidating old master. Of course, it will all be Played for Laughs.

What if Reimu is actually Poorfag (from Madoka) or vice versa?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 12, 2015, 12:59:41 AM
It would mean Reimu is using dye to make her hair colour lighter, and that she is doing a fantastic job going undercover as a student in the Madoka universe.

What if Claude Frollo (http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Claude_Frollo) was a Touhou character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on December 12, 2015, 01:44:47 PM
They would be the one from the book which means everyone dies in the end.

What if Satan was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on December 12, 2015, 02:01:15 PM
Allow me to tell you a tale. It took place 36,000 hours ago...

Well, there was an ido game released at the time,
With a boss that fits your described design.

As such, I think this answer is fine!
Quote
(http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/7/7e/TLC_Mumumu_Mikaboshi.png/revision/latest?cb=20130614134438)

What if Murasa were a ninja instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 13, 2015, 01:27:29 AM
She would be Sendai instead of Kiso.

What if Steven from Steven Universe was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on December 13, 2015, 08:42:34 AM
Then Reimu would have a replacement if she's gone or whatsoever.

What if ZUN composed every country, nation and states around the world their own anthems?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on December 13, 2015, 08:44:07 AM
What if ZUN composed every country, nation and states around the world their own anthems?
Then they will be full of ZUNpets.

What if the Five Magic Stones are an Eldritch god?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Raikaria on December 13, 2015, 11:03:59 PM
Then they will be full of ZUNpets.

What if the Five Magic Stones are an Eldritch god?

Well that explains the trippyness of the Dream World.

What if Marisa started careing about the beauty of danmaku instead of raw power?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on December 14, 2015, 03:03:11 PM
No more master sparks.

What if  Junko was just Yukari in disguise?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on December 14, 2015, 04:54:14 PM
Then that means Junko is a Phantasm Boss.

What if every Bible in the world was collectively a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on December 14, 2015, 07:03:18 PM
What if every Bible in the world was collectively a 2hu?
Then it would be the real youkai Jesus.

What if Aya met Mettaton from Undertale?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 15, 2015, 02:30:11 PM
Aya: I'm the faster news reporter!!

Mettaton: Who needs speed when you have legs like these?!

What if ZUN got hired by Disney?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on December 15, 2015, 03:53:45 PM
Expect a downgrade in art quality... or an upgrade to the OSTs... or both...

What if the next game has tanks as normal enemies?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on December 15, 2015, 05:02:08 PM
Lt Colonel Summers would be happy

What if the next game stars Kagerou and the Scarlets in a "vampire VS werewolves" game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on December 15, 2015, 07:21:24 PM
A newhu human appears who happens to be Kagerou's childhood pal. Both Kagerou and Remilia fall in love with the newhu. A series of 4 books, 4.5 movies, and several teenage fangirls appear and the touhou industry booms.

What if the ido extra bosses formed a band?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on December 19, 2015, 03:01:19 PM
What are ido extra bosses? :V
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on December 19, 2015, 04:17:15 PM
What are ido extra bosses? :V

The extra bosses from ido's danmakufu fangames (Elfin Mint, Toone Riko, that snake girl from RSS, and whoever WNSP's extra boss was.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on December 20, 2015, 07:51:06 PM
Since that question looks impossible to answer, I'm gonna try and keep this thread going:

What if Bayonetta was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 21, 2015, 08:27:40 AM
A newhu human appears who happens to be Kagerou's childhood pal. Both Kagerou and Remilia fall in love with the newhu. A series of 4 books, 4.5 movies, and several teenage fangirls appear and the touhou industry booms.

What if the ido extra bosses formed a band?

They would be an unofficial band for reasons most obvious. :V

Goomba's question: What if Bayonetta was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on December 21, 2015, 03:02:32 PM
She would try to hunt down Tenshi, thinking of the Celestial being in league with the angels from her home game.

What if the existence of Gensokyo was covered up by the US government in a similar manner as they did aliens, and was hidden from everyone else including Japan and its government?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on December 22, 2015, 02:19:20 AM
Jesus Christ, ZUN, you're a hacker.

What if Gensokyo was located in Scotland?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on December 22, 2015, 02:25:16 AM
What if Gensokyo was located in Scotland?
Then it'll 'ave a population of a buncha wee lassies drinking alcohol that are constantly fightin' wif eachother.
...
i.e. Nothing would really change, except that the inhabitants would have Scottish accents, they'd drink a bit more alcohol then normal, and Misty Lake would be inhabited by a plesiosaur...

What if Touhou x Otomedius?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on December 22, 2015, 05:25:27 PM
Hisou Tensoku has to be involved.

What if ryuuichi (http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts?tags=ryuuichi_%28f_dragon%29) was the artist for the next fighting game? (danbooru link)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on December 23, 2015, 05:49:09 AM
Then the next Touhou game would be a Hell lot creepier than FNaF, Seriously...

What if the Marauder from Starcraft II came into Gensokyo? (Listen to his quotes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3rKPYvPXSU))
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on December 24, 2015, 04:59:05 PM
What if the Marauder from Starcraft II came into Gensokyo? (Listen to his quotes (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3rKPYvPXSU))
It'll be an UED Marauder, since Earth (and Gensokyo) are pretty far away from where the sector where things happens. He'll also meet with the firebats, which everyone might have forgotten by now...

What if, besides CoLA and the three fairies mange, we get a Touhou Bougetsuhou reboot too ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on December 26, 2015, 05:07:15 PM
More lunarians, probably Junko and Chang'e.

What if Visionary Fairies in Shrine leads to another Fairy Wars game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on December 28, 2015, 04:43:18 PM
What do you mean "what if"?!? Isn't that why we got Clownpiece in the first place?!?

What if Kanako showed up in touhou 16 as the stage 1 boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on December 28, 2015, 06:34:43 PM
Same thing as when Yuyuko was in TD as the first boss.

What if Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? had a Touhou episode?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 03, 2016, 07:08:46 PM
What if Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? had a Touhou episode?
Hilarity will ensue.

What if the Five Magic Stones are actually Yog-Sothoth?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on January 07, 2016, 11:37:45 PM
What if the Five Magic Stones are actually Yog-Sothoth?
Then he better damn well hide his secret, or he'll end up being a laughing stock for getting his ass kicked by little girls

What if someone taught Ringo some manners ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 08, 2016, 08:03:54 PM
She would offer her dango before starting fighting people.

What if we had mexican characters?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on January 10, 2016, 12:49:18 AM
They would be based on Mexican folklore and legends, for example the Chupacabra. This would also show that ZUN's thinking about themes from the West again, which would make people on this forum get hype for an official western release. (It would be interesting if the first official translation of the games was in Spanish... :V )

What if Yuyuko was alive and Yukari was the ghost?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 12, 2016, 07:43:41 PM
Yuyuko would be a 1000+ years old human, so either she became a youkai, a hermit. or a goddess.

What if the ability of every character was also extended to metaphorical concepts?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TresserT on January 12, 2016, 07:55:52 PM
Wait, I thought it did? You mean Cirno can't freeze time?!? Burns all his fanfics.

What if there were a Yakumo Green, Yakumo Yellow, Yakumo Aqua, and Yakumo Red?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ultimate Destrado on January 13, 2016, 09:27:35 AM
I'd try to find a Yakumo Emerald.

What if everyone decided to call in sick one day?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on January 13, 2016, 02:10:48 PM
Obviously Yamame had nothing to do with it, because she called in sick too.

What if Eiki met Discworld Death?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 15, 2016, 10:24:48 PM
She'd mistake it/him for a Shinigami.

What if we got a Phantasmagoria game with only characters from various Hells (not even Reimu and Marisa this time)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: zero_breaker on January 18, 2016, 02:33:45 PM
Eiki would get to lecture even more people... until she meets Hecatia, who she iirc has no authority over but would try to lecture anyways.

What if everyone in Gensokyo gains a counterpart with inverted morality?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 21, 2016, 04:13:46 PM
What if everyone in Gensokyo gains a counterpart with inverted morality?
It would be an incident involving a mirror youkai, and the game will play out as a phantasmagoria where every protagonist fights their inverted selves at some point.

What if YuugenMagan and unsealed Rumia are siblings?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on January 23, 2016, 12:59:17 PM
That means Rumia is composed of eyes. (And I thought giving her a chest-mouth was weird. [Which was my idea])

What if Shinki created herself?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 23, 2016, 04:43:51 PM
Then Shinki is her own mother.

What if Rumia is actually a spy for Gensokyo's secret Christian faction?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 23, 2016, 07:25:32 PM
What if Rumia is actually a spy for Gensokyo's secret Christian faction?
Then Rumia is also a Knight Templar.

What if Rumia's amulet isn't actually sealing her powers, but she's been faking it all this time?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on January 23, 2016, 09:13:36 PM
Then Rumia is the true strongest 2hu.

What if Yukari talked about parallel universes?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 23, 2016, 09:20:44 PM
What if Yukari talked about parallel universes?
Then it would be revealed that she is not the only Yukari, and that Maribel Hearn, as well as every doujin-work incarnation of Yukari is an alternate counterpart.

What if Yukari's long lifespan is because she continuously transfers her soul to a new body?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on January 24, 2016, 04:15:06 AM
Then she would constantly have to alter her new bodies to look similar to her previous bodies just to make sure people don't mistake her for someone else.

What if Dr. Facilier was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 24, 2016, 06:39:09 PM
What if Dr. Facilier was a 2hu?
Then much backfired deals and voodoo magic will occur in Gensokyo.

What if "Yukari Yakumo" isn't a name, but a title?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: iVAwalys on January 24, 2016, 07:23:17 PM
Then the Maribel Theory would make even more sense.

What if the Hakurei Barrier suddenly disappeared?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 24, 2016, 07:25:52 PM
Then Gensokyo is fucked.

What if YuugenMagan can possess people?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 25, 2016, 03:48:38 PM
It would try to possess a windows character to "appear" in windows canon. Excpet no one would notice it.

What if Junko purified Yukari to the next level?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: iVAwalys on January 25, 2016, 04:38:05 PM
Yukari would not care at all, because she's Yukari.

What if Concealed the Conclusion was canon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 25, 2016, 07:31:24 PM
Then it would be the end of the Touhou series.

What if Rika, Rikako, Yumemi, Utsuho, and Nitori all had to work together to invent something?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: iVAwalys on January 25, 2016, 08:55:38 PM
An even bigger Tensoku, powered by nuclear fusion with laser eyes and magic. That's what would happen.

What if Satsuki Rin never got deleted?

Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 25, 2016, 09:56:21 PM
We'd probably have a 3rd main character in all the games, and assuming she was a nurse/kirin she'd take Eirin's role as the Doctor.

What if Clownpiece was Crownpiece instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 25, 2016, 10:03:41 PM
Then instead of being based of the american flag, she'd be based off of a british monarch.

What if Walter Lily White was a druglord?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on January 26, 2016, 11:56:17 AM
That explains why the player character is so high in PCB don't kill me...

What if Yukari exists in real life?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on January 26, 2016, 12:41:45 PM
I'd be wrecked by constant paranoia about getting gapped into Gensokyo.

What if the music for the next fighting game was done by this U2 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U2) instead of this U2 (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/U2_Akiyama)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on January 29, 2016, 10:13:09 PM
Touhou would become more famous in the west, due to famous people collaborating.

What if Shinmyoumaru wished for the Mallet to not have any payback?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on January 29, 2016, 10:19:52 PM
What if Shinmyoumaru wished for the Mallet to not have any payback?
Then it would create a reality-breaking paradox. As a wish made with the mallet has payback, but the wish said there will be no payback, and of, course for such a wish to occur, there has to be payback, but the wish can't have payback because the wish wished that there will be no payback, which, according to how the mallet works, would mean that there will be major payback for making that wish, which is impossible because the wish said there will be no payback...

What if all the lines in the touhou windows games were Gizoogled (http://www.gizoogle.net) and then released as a new english patch?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 06, 2016, 12:59:16 PM
Everyone would look like fanon Marisa.

What if the giant Surtr came to Gensokyo after hearing of Flandre's "Laevatein"?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 06, 2016, 03:14:17 PM
Everyone would look like fanon Marisa.

What if the giant Surtr came to Gensokyo after hearing of Flandre's "Laevatein"?
Everything would all get destroyed (that's assuming I do not know what a Surtr is)
What if Bass from Mega Man found himself in Gensokyo, and all the girls fell in love with him?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 06, 2016, 08:01:44 PM
Murder.

What if Touhou was a mistake? (I'm too lazy to explain just read this and don't kill me: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/anime-was-a-mistake)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 06, 2016, 10:32:04 PM
Then we must bask in it and revel in the mistake-yness of ZUN  :V

What if Marisa is actually Reimu's sister?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on February 06, 2016, 10:41:34 PM
Then they will start a quest to find their parents and ask them several questions.

Or Marisa will take over Reimu as the family maiden.

What if Yukari suddenly couldn't make gaps anymore?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on February 06, 2016, 10:50:58 PM
What if Yukari suddenly couldn't make gaps anymore?
Then she'd make tears instead.

What if the next touhou game had an Oomukade (http://yokai.wikia.com/wiki/%C5%8Cmukade) as the final boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 06, 2016, 11:52:08 PM
Touhou 16: Phantasmagoria of Disgusting Invertebrates.
Wriggle would be thrown in the game as playable character.

What if Orin and Okuu started a grilled meat stand?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 07, 2016, 01:01:37 AM
What if Orin and Okuu started a grilled meat stand?

Special Hot Nuclear Sauce and Spicy Flaming Skull comin' right up!
*When every bite gives you that badass feeling of a nuke in the background...

What if Soviet Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 07, 2016, 04:48:27 AM
What if Soviet Gensokyo?

Heil Alice! (Or is that the wrong war o_o (I had to say that though, because waifu))
EDIT: IT WAS! It would be Vladimir Alice.
EDIT2:
What if all the lines in the touhou windows games were Gizoogled (http://www.gizoogle.net) and then released as a new english patch?
I might have to make this, if it doesn't exist.

 :3

What if Mario were an arcade bullet-hell shooter?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 07, 2016, 02:16:01 PM
Heil Alice! (Or is that the wrong war o_o (I had to say that though, because waifu))
EDIT: IT WAS! It would be Vladimir Alice.
EDIT2:I might have to make this, if it doesn't exist.

 :3

What if Mario were an arcade bullet-hell shooter?

Then there world be no Super Marisa World or Super Marisa Land, as they would be considered kind of redundant.

What if there were Three Kingdoms Touhous?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 07, 2016, 04:34:17 PM
Then there world be no Super Marisa World or Super Marisa Land, as they would be considered kind of redundant.

What if there were Three Kingdoms Touhous?
Touhous in castles

What if there was a SpongeBob parody with Elis as SpongeBob, Letty as Patrick, and Hina as Squidward?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 08, 2016, 12:31:51 PM
Letty wouldn't be happy to have the role of the idiot. There's Cirno for that.

What if Kagerou was Kangaroo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 08, 2016, 03:43:25 PM
She'll be carrying her daughter in her pocket, so we get two characters in one.  Now people will question who the father is.

What if all of a sudden, Futo jumps out from behind a bush and onto Ellen and strangles and shakes her violently for about a minute, but without killing her, before running off while screaming like a madman?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 08, 2016, 10:40:42 PM
She'll be carrying her daughter in her pocket, so we get two characters in one.  Now people will question who the father is.

What if all of a sudden, Futo jumps out from behind a bush and onto Ellen and strangles and shakes her violently for about a minute, but without killing her, before running off while screaming like a madman?
That'd be...a bit weird.

What if Touhou got a crappy English dub americanised for the kids?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 09, 2016, 12:21:27 AM
What if Touhou got a crappy English dub americanised for the kids?

All Touhou fans in the world would riot, because 'Murica popular and no sekrit?

Hey, since it's Chinese New Year, what if a Touhou-fan pilot runs into a barrage of fireworks?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 09, 2016, 01:05:26 AM
Then they would fly up and explode into a massive pile of spiral sealing card danmaku, while secretly being sent over the border to Gensokyo, where they would be so gleeful they would have a heart attack and die.

Slightly Off-topic: They just put up the OS/Browser profile info while I was writing this, and I was confused for a moment.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on February 09, 2016, 07:08:24 AM
What if Ran had another shikigami than Chen?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on February 09, 2016, 07:21:13 AM
What if Ran had another shikigami than Chen?
"R-Ran-shama... you don't like me anymore ?  :("
Cue bittersweets Yakumo family doujins.
That or Yukari bought Ran a computer.

What if Unzan's body was made of cotton candy ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 09, 2016, 11:27:25 AM
Then he would be the 'sweetest' character I've ever heard.

What if Winnie the Pooh X Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 09, 2016, 11:48:35 AM
Then Christopher Robin is the Hakurei God.

What if Aya built up speed for 12 hours?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on February 09, 2016, 12:53:36 PM
She'd probably end up in Mugenri.

What if Touhoumon Snap starring Aya? (Seriously, why am I apparently the first person to think of this?)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: andykhang on February 09, 2016, 02:47:28 PM
Then 65% of it would be panties shot.

What if there're suddenly a gate to gensokyo, and the goverment just bang in like in GATE?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 09, 2016, 03:25:05 PM
That's a LOT of free food for youkai. Yukari could take a vacation from spiriting away humans herself for a while.

What if the Dragon God was J?rmungandr (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B6rmungandr)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 09, 2016, 03:33:13 PM
Then we might have another male Touhou character.

What if whenever you dream, you are actually temporarily going to Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 09, 2016, 03:39:50 PM
Then we might have another male Touhou character.

What if whenever you dream, you are actually temporarily going to Gensokyo?

Seven billion Maribels and seven billion very different Gensokyos.

What if we had Serbian Touhous? (Sorry can't think of anything)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 09, 2016, 10:24:35 PM
Seven billion Maribels and seven billion very different Gensokyos.

What if we had Serbian Touhous? (Sorry can't think of anything)
REMOVE SERBIAN YOUKAI

What if that talking drop of hot sauce from the SpongeBob episode "Karate Choppers" ended up in Gensokyo? (if you don't know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n49Xsff5zms)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 10, 2016, 04:02:11 PM
That's the closest we have to getting a slime girl character, assuming it gets genderbent.

What if ZUN permanently kills off a recurring character in the next game, meaning that the character will never show up again in the future, even as a ghost?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 10, 2016, 07:05:09 PM
The jinyou would not feel lonely anymore.

What if Chang'e as final boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 10, 2016, 09:35:56 PM
What if Chang'e as final boss?
Then we have our LoLK sequel right there: use the Occult Balls that come out of nowhere to cannonball Chang'e at the Lunar Capital. From the Treasure Ship.

What if Hitler was a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 10, 2016, 10:31:21 PM
Then in the game it appears in the player gets to kill Hitler.

What if Kikuri was the REAL final boss of HRtP?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 12, 2016, 06:09:24 PM
Then Kikuri is the one who actually created Hell.

What if Momiji was Courage the Cowardly Dog?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 13, 2016, 03:37:43 AM
Since she can see things coming from afar, she'll often be seen freaking out before anyone else sees anything coming and think she's crazy, assuming they don't know her.  And she'll be known as the Cowardly Wolf too.

What if Yuuka ran around the Human Village while flipping the bird nonstop?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 13, 2016, 01:21:47 PM
Everyone would blame Clownpiece because that's obviously some crazy stuff.

What if Meiling started an academy of martial arts for youkai?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on February 13, 2016, 04:09:46 PM
What if Meiling started an academy of martial arts for youkai?
It'll be called "Slacking Zen dragon fist style", and she'll start by teaching young youkai how to fend off knife attacks.

What if Marisa sold Patchoulis' books at Suzunaan ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 14, 2016, 03:20:31 PM
Quote
What if Marisa sold Patchoulis' books at Suzunaan?

Then Marisa better have remembered to remove bookmarks, scrub out notes and remove any labels on those books that could identify it as coming from the SDM. Who says that Patchouli doesn't go to Suzunaan to extend her already huge book collection for the library?

What if... Yuuka gets a hold of an outer world book on copy write law and decides she wants to trademark Master Spark?  :ohdear:
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 14, 2016, 04:25:19 PM
Objection! Yuuka's attack was never called Master Spark, so she can't trademark it. Even if she could, Marisa is a thief anyway, nothing would change at all.

What if Seija is actually one of the 4 oni devas and is hiding it?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 14, 2016, 05:19:32 PM
I look forward to Seija lifting heavy objects and throwing them around with ease!

What if Byakuren believes that violence is the answer to everything?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 14, 2016, 07:07:52 PM
She would answer all questions violently.

What if Gensokyo was in space?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 14, 2016, 08:47:19 PM
Then where is the Lunar Capital  :o

The Great Hakurei Border would have been in some weird position not in Japan, meaning that the corresponding one on Earth is a different one. On another note, SA would have taken place in a pocket dimension or something weird like that, and if you go down far enough underground, you would end up on the surface? wut even

Gensokyo would be its own planet. Therefore the Great Hakurei Border would be in Space, and the dream field from LoLK would be the Hakurei Border. So planet Gensokyo would be a moon of Earth or something, right? Mind. Blown. Additionally, the Moon would be exempt from this Border, so by going to the Moon, and surviving all of the rabbits, you could access Gensokyo.


What if Gensokyo was a dream?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 14, 2016, 11:45:05 PM
Then that's some really vivid and complex dream.

What if Hecatia was your sister?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 15, 2016, 01:18:51 AM
What if Hecatia was your sister?
Me as 3-year-old: Hey Oneeeeeeeeee-san, what's that floaty thingy tied to you neck?
Hecatia: Uhh... it's a...
Me: It'za look tasty, aaaaaaah....
Hecatia: NO NO NO!1!
*End of world
(less experience with honorifics, sorry)

Vhat if, AK-47 was (Alice-Kalashnikov)-47 while M-16 was (Marisa)-16
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 15, 2016, 08:22:34 AM
Quote
What if, AK-47 was (Alice-Kalashnikov)-47 while M-16 was (Marisa)-16

It would mean the 47 and 16 were actually the real ages of the characters (Alice is 47!?!  :derp:)

The AK-47 would not have a problem with gunpowder since Alice stuffs all her dolls with gunpowder and the M-16 muzzle flash when firing is actually a little master spark with stars glistening from it.

What if... ZUN decided to reboot Touhou like he did with the PC-98 to Windows jump and it was 100 times crappier than the current Touhou?  :ohdear:

*edit* not saying Touhou is crappy, not at all! I just mean if the new version is worse than our beloved current Touhou.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 15, 2016, 12:18:14 PM
What if... ZUN decided to reboot Touhou like he did with the PC-98 to Windows jump and it was 100 times crappier than the current Touhou?  :ohdear:
Then, it would start a conspiracy bigger than 9/11 (sry) with Touhou-fans around globe blaming ZUN's probably around 3-year-old kid for creating the mess instead because of the doubtful probability of ZUN itself making a crappy reboot/Touhou 16. And after he found out about this, he will quickly return to the current and beloved Touhou universe, hoping not to create another Gap-S*** on the next Touhou.

What if General Winter was after all, Letty Whiterock?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 15, 2016, 02:06:36 PM
Then Letty is Russia's greatest ally.

What if ZUN introduces an actually bad-looking fat character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 15, 2016, 02:22:50 PM
Then Letty is Russia's greatest ally.

What if ZUN introduces an actually bad-looking fat character?

Then we can't blame ZUN art anymore.

What if Yuuka encountered a titan arum?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 15, 2016, 04:12:55 PM
Watch as she uses her flower power to make it smell good!

What if Reimu dies and everyone rejoices?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 15, 2016, 08:44:45 PM
There would be no one left to stop Rumia from eating everyone and taking over the universe.

What if Meiling pretended to be a cat to get Patchy to pet her?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 15, 2016, 11:40:47 PM
Patchouli: Remi, our cat is weird today. It wears a hat, isn't furry, and weighs a DAMN LOT more than usual.

What if Ran had enough of Yukari and started a new life as the head of a new clan?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 16, 2016, 04:41:22 AM
Yukari will look at her with puppy eyes to convince her to stay.

What if Ran doesn't get convinced by that?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on February 16, 2016, 07:47:21 AM
Ran forms the angry servant society, which speaks out against abuse of servants. Also she punches yukari in the face.
Right. In. The. Face.

What if this happened in canon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 16, 2016, 08:08:57 AM
The fandom goes crazy with Yukari-getting-punched-in-the-face fan works.  And her defeat portraits in the games all have fist marks on her face, regardless of who she fought.

What if she threw tantrum like a little kid to try to convince Ran instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Suspicious person on February 16, 2016, 09:14:26 AM
What if she threw tantrum like a little kid to try to convince Ran instead?
Ran'll spank her ass instead.

What if all these Yakumo household problems make Chen grow into a delinquent ?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ultimate Destrado on February 16, 2016, 09:31:30 AM
Spoiler: Chen is already a delinquent. :3

 What if Remilia was a stoner?

(http://i.imgur.com/EB6Ypva.png)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 16, 2016, 12:31:31 PM
She can only manipulate the fate of stoned people.

What if people cater to Taoism because of Byakuren's belief that violence is the answer to everything?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 16, 2016, 12:38:41 PM
People would use fists for discussion instead of hurting people.

What if Patchy is actually really strong, but only when lifting books?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 16, 2016, 02:46:49 PM
People would use fists for discussion instead of hurting people.

What if Patchy is actually really strong, but only when lifting books?

Books as deadly weapons. Which is not unrealistic.

What if Aya suddenly made decent newspapers?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 16, 2016, 03:23:41 PM
Hatate would cry as if there was no tomorrow. Wait a second, it's actually happening in FS :V

What if Rinnosuke's new assistant is Tenshi that was sent there as punishment?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 16, 2016, 03:26:09 PM
People would use fists for discussion instead of hurting people.
Sorry, I got it wrong...  I actually wanted to say what if people decided to follow Taoism instead of Buddhism because of Byakuren...

Hatate would cry as if there was no tomorrow. Wait a second, it's actually happening in FS :V
I was going to answer, "Then there would be more decent newspaper origami and crafts."

"What if Rinnosuke's new assistant is Tenshi that was sent there as punishment?"
She hits him in the head with a keystone to make him lose his memory so that she can convince him that she is the owner of Korindou.

What if Koakuma has the ability to shoot books out of her mouth?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 17, 2016, 12:15:52 AM
What if Koakuma has the ability to shoot books out of her mouth?
Either infinite books for Marisa and Patchy, or for library defence.

What if Rinnosuke becomes a weapons dealer? By not only weapons but also AFVs.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hikarin on February 17, 2016, 01:41:39 AM
What if Rinnosuke becomes a weapons dealer? By not only weapons but also AFVs.
Well, for one, every human and youkai in Gensokyo would be flocking to him, then he would get super rich, and then all of his customers would blow each other up and the money influx would stall.

What if there was hidden dialogue in the games between Sakuya and Remilia where they swapped roles as master and servant?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 17, 2016, 01:30:42 PM
What if there was hidden dialogue in the games between Sakuya and Remilia where they swapped roles as master and servant?
Then, Remillia is gonna have a bad time dealing with the household jobs. Though I remember one 4koma on Danbooru that can answer your question better, but I can't find it back.

What if Fegelein X Yukari?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 17, 2016, 03:02:32 PM
Then, Remillia is gonna have a bad time dealing with the household jobs. Though I remember one 4koma on Danbooru that can answer your question better, but I can't find it back.

What if Fegelein X Yukari?

Poor Hitler and Reimu, both having to deal with twice the number of antics.

What if Krebs x Wakasagihime? Fish and all.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 18, 2016, 12:33:39 AM
What if Krebs x Wakasagihime? Fish and all.
Then all of his map pointing while saying 'fish', OHHHHH. He secretly knew where the true Wakasagihime lives in Berlin! All board the submarine to Wakahouse!

What if Burgdorf X Yuugi since after all, the Bunker is 'underground'.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on February 18, 2016, 01:09:08 AM
The two will have a drink over a discussion on why this thread is suddenly a Touhou X Hitler Rants crossover discussion...

What if Yuyuko X Goring?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 18, 2016, 02:33:28 AM
Then, the two will be one of the causes why 'Empire Japan' and 'Nazi Germany' lost because of the food shortages.

What if Speer X Rinnosuke? What if Momiji X Blondi?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 18, 2016, 11:11:31 AM
Then, the two will be one of the causes why 'Empire Japan' and 'Nazi Germany' lost because of the food shortages.

What if Speer X Rinnosuke? What if Momiji X Blondi?

That image on Danbooru with Momiji and a dog Then we have a very bewildered Hitler and an Aya feeling strange things.

What if Hatate x Koller?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 18, 2016, 11:38:50 AM
What if Hatate x Koller?
*on the phone
Aya: Hey, how many pictures-
Hatate: Nine
Aya: How about-
Hatate: Nine
Aya: Can you let me-
Hatate: NEIN!!!

What if Yukari is also Himmler's disciple other than Fegelein? Okay, the we'll stop the rants there.

What if there's a lot of youkai that still exists in the Outside World, and Hitler hates them as much as he hates the Jews, thus building concentration camps for both? 
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 18, 2016, 01:18:23 PM
Then Hitler is a Ghost.

What if Ghost Hitler was in Gensokyo.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 18, 2016, 01:25:40 PM
What if Ghost Hitler was in Gensokyo.
Then I'm not sure whether Reimu supports Ghost Hitler's idea of youkai concentration camps across Gensokyo.

What if Reimu supports his idea?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 18, 2016, 03:01:51 PM
Quote
What if Reimu supports his idea?

You-kai-mon! gotta catch them all... and seal them away into the dreamworld or something where they can haunt the dreams of small children.

What if... a piece of toast you cooked popped out of the toaster and it resembled the face of your favorite Touhou? Would you eat it?  :3 
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 18, 2016, 03:20:03 PM
I'd do at least a photo to it. Then, since my favorite character is Rumia, i'd say "Looks like the tables have turned. Who's eating who now?" with an english lord voice, and eat it.

What if Yukari managed to become omnipotent by spreading rumors of her omnipotence and conquered the Lunar Capital?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 18, 2016, 04:44:06 PM
Quote
What if Yukari managed to become omnipotent by spreading rumors of her omnipotence and conquered the Lunar Capital?

Lunarian: "Everything's fine... everything's fine. Gotta keep smiling, she will know if I forget to smile. What was that over there!?... oh, it's just a black cat, I thought it was HER with her ever watching EYES. Everything will be fine if I just keep thinking happy thoughts and not make sudden movements. Everything's fine, yes that's right... evvverrrrrything is fine. Heh" <.<  >.> (paranoia intensifies)

What if... you could give a gift to your favorite Touhou? What would it be and who would you give it too?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 18, 2016, 10:01:32 PM
Flowers for Reimu all the way

What if Keine gave a lesson about armpits?
(http://i.imgur.com/Davwc5e.png)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 18, 2016, 11:22:32 PM
1st lesson: determining the danger of the armpit miko(s) depending on the armpit angle.

What if Rumia bought a night visor from Rinnosuke?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 18, 2016, 11:38:13 PM
Then she wouldn't have to worry about hitting any trees while being in her darkness orb. IF, Rinnosuke himself can tell how to use it.

What if there was a Touhou character based on Michael Bay?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on February 19, 2016, 01:06:01 AM
Explosions will occur around her if she so much as speak...

What if Touhou gets a run-N-gun adaption ala Metal Slug?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 19, 2016, 01:16:36 AM
Explosions will occur around her if she so much as speak...

What if Touhou gets a run-N-gun adaption ala Metal Slug?
It'd actually get released in the US.
What if N from Pok?mon wandered into Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on February 20, 2016, 04:04:20 PM
Eiki would take an interest in him, due to his green hair and yin-yang inspired Pokemon.

What if Tenshi got into a fight with the Hoenn legendaries?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lollipop on February 20, 2016, 06:38:28 PM
They would destroy the world.

What if Reimu didn't appear in the next game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 20, 2016, 07:20:45 PM
It's Shoot the Bullet all over again!

What if a new character had power over the fourth wall?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 20, 2016, 08:40:46 PM
It's Shoot the Bullet all over again!

What if a new character had power over the fourth wall?
She'd take us all into Gensokyo.
What if Touhou was released in the US when HRtP came out?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 21, 2016, 05:12:06 AM
Then most characters would be based on Western mythology and vice versa.

What if Gensokyo was on Middle Earth (Lord of the Rings) and their Youkai's took part in the final battle against Sauron's Orcs? (Third episode)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on February 21, 2016, 11:28:53 AM
Yuuka's up for some fun

What if Undertale's Sans do danmaku a la Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 21, 2016, 01:40:59 PM
Momiji and Kagerou run over to eat all the bones he fires.  Great, now I'm corrupted by the fandom into thinking those two are dogs...

What if Letty suddenly shows up before you, riding on a rhinoceros that is wearing roller skates, and tells you to hop on fast, as there is no time to explain?  Also, the rhinoceros is pulling a wooden cart carrying a skeleton wearing Koishi's clothes.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 21, 2016, 02:52:24 PM
"Can't you just cool down a bit, please?"
*Gets Winter'd for pun. Rides up the Rhino.
"Also, what the hell is Koishi doing back there? Is she stoned or something?"
*Gets unconsciously raped for pun.

What if Touhou-fans thought they were buying train tickets to Gensokyo and rode the train, and arrived at GULAG?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on February 21, 2016, 02:58:26 PM
Don't worry; almost everyone there is female.  It's nothing more than a Russian Gensokyo.

What if ZUN gave Wakasagihime normal legs and a fish tail and still tried to pass her off as a mermaid?

Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on February 21, 2016, 03:57:28 PM
Don't worry; almost everyone there is female.  It's nothing more than a Russian Gensokyo.

What if ZUN gave Wakasagihime normal legs and a fish tail and still tried to pass her off as a mermaid?
Then ZUN is weiiiiird

What if Flowey showed up in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: andykhang on February 22, 2016, 04:01:01 PM


What if Flowey showed up in Gensokyo?

this: http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/2160445?tags=touhou+undertale

What if Chara appear in Gensokyo instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on February 23, 2016, 12:06:10 AM
He wouldn't have anywhere to practice his hockey, so Letty and Cirno would have to freeze Misty Lake to make a makeshift rink. There probably aren't many people in Gensokyo familiar with the NHL, so people would be a bit confused about what's going on.
(I'm talking about this guy (http://bruins.nhl.com/club/player.htm?id=8465009), not the Undertale one.)

What if Yukari took Ran, Chen, and Reimu on vacation to a tropical island?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 23, 2016, 12:22:37 AM
Reimu would ask to stay there forever: no more incidents and stress, only fun and pineapple juice!

What if Junko formed the "anti-frog alliance"?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 23, 2016, 10:58:09 AM
What if Junko formed the "anti-frog alliance"?
Cirno is her allies. And Suwako is gonna have a grand battle against them alliance.

What if Allies launched Operation Downfall and during that, a whole convoy made out of tanks and APCs and troops stumbled into... youknowwhatimean. What if Bad Luck Brian meets Hina?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on February 24, 2016, 08:52:32 AM
STARTS TOUHOU GAME

[Hina face]

LOSES A LIFE IN STAGE ONE


What if Touhou x Neko Atsume?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 25, 2016, 05:31:44 PM
What if Touhou x Neko Atsume?
It would be about attracting 2hus to your house by placing items around. (makes me feel like attempting to make something similar, but not having actually played Neko Atusme could make it more difficult)

What if Kanako and Satori opened a tanning salon in the Underground?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on February 25, 2016, 06:05:07 PM
It would be powered by Okuu and everybody would get toasted.

What if Yuugi challenged Suika to a drinking contest?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 25, 2016, 06:40:32 PM
I pity those poor sake worms, they'd be exausted after that :V

What if every character is actually just Mamizou and her friends all the time, playing a massive role-playing game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 25, 2016, 06:55:14 PM
Quote
What if every character is actually just Mamizou and her friends all the time, playing a massive role-playing game?

Woah, simulation theory in my Touhou?

I would imagine Marisa bake-danuki would one day barge into Alice bake-danuki's house shouting "Alice! I've come to play!" and she would catch Alice bake-danuki changed out of her human form. She would quickly say to Alice "quick Alice, get back into costume before the Hakurei mod shows up!".

What if... Hideo Kojima was handed the reins by ZUN to make touhou 16? Remember that since he formed his new studio, Kojima Productions, the Metal Gear part of his life is finished. So yes... no Metal Gear jokes are allowed! 
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 25, 2016, 11:21:20 PM
Then the next game would be more 'manly' than before/usual.

What if the island of Sodor was like Gensokyo, hidden. And it's trains were actually train-youkai's.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Failure McFailFace on February 26, 2016, 04:38:06 AM
Then the next game would be more 'manly' than before/usual.

What if the island of Sodor was like Gensokyo, hidden. And it's trains were actually train-youkai's.
So you're saying that the Vicarstown Drawbridge is a freaking magical portal? Okay. It explains how the engines never get hurt (much) from all those accidents.

What if Touhou 16 had Mima as a secret extra stage boss?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 26, 2016, 05:24:01 AM
So you're saying that the Vicarstown Drawbridge is a freaking magical portal?
Forgot to say that, damn.

If Mima was the Touhou 16 extra boss, Touhou-fans would be really happy to see her, IF ZUN doesn't reboot her.

What if the word 'damn' is really, a short name for 'danmaku'?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 26, 2016, 02:03:53 PM
Then every time you say "DAMN you!" to someone, you are actually challenging them to a battle. Not sure if want.

What if Momiji could see a thousand years ahead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 27, 2016, 12:12:50 AM
She would then be 'Momiji the Cowardly Dog', traumatized at what will happen in the next one thousand years. Hell, Yukari might ask her anything related to future Gensokyo.

What if everyone in Gensokyo is being a hypocrite?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 27, 2016, 05:04:31 AM
Quote
What if everyone in Gensokyo is being a hypocrite?

I guess then not much would change around Gensokyo then. I mean, we have a buddist that fights, a theif that claims she's only a merchant and a Miko that is serious about her job but doesn't exterminate every youkai she sees. Isn't every Touhou a hypocrite in some way?... Summon Eiki!

What if... Marisa really did get a boatload of treasure at the end of UFO?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on February 27, 2016, 06:51:48 AM
Then she would buy the SDM from the Scarlets!

What if Marisa was canonically in love with Alice?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 27, 2016, 10:44:27 AM
What if Marisa was canonically in love with Alice?
Then there's no more arguments about who shall be Marisa's couple between everyone in Gensokyo.

What if Reimu still rides on Genji?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on February 27, 2016, 12:41:53 PM
Does Genji even still live at the Hakurei Shrine?  I don't know, it may make for a better partnership than if Reimu were with Marisa (not enough Touhou knowledge to give a good answer really).

What if Meiling was more diligent and productive than Sakuya (I mean, as diligent and productive as a guard can get)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 27, 2016, 01:44:56 PM
Less sleeping China jokes, but also no manga reading or siestas, meaning no Hisoutensoku story for her since it was a dream.

What if all the "what if" questions were true?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on February 27, 2016, 03:32:51 PM
Seeing as this is the 28th page of the 5th thread, we may as well have just re-written Touhou as a whole.

What if Yukari actually tried in a fight?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on February 27, 2016, 04:36:37 PM
Quote
What if Yukari actually tried in a fight?

Well, since her power is that of being one of the most powerful in Gensokyo, but still not powerful enough to face the Watatsuki's in a fair fight, I would say her true power might be something like stage 4 or 5 in LoLK. Luckily though since it's Gensokyo rules you don't have to "no-miss" everything she throws at you... just an educated guess.

What if... one of the human Touhou's got pregnant from one of the generic human villager males one night? You know how these things go. Everybody had a bit too much booze at a flower viewing party, attraction was in the air, some fooling around happened, one thing lead to another and bam! You can't risk fighting danmaku battles anymore because of your baby bump!  :derp:
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on February 27, 2016, 05:37:09 PM
Reimu would forcibly train the baby to be a youkai exterminator.

What if there was a 2hu dressed in something suspiciously similar to Clothes That Kill Virgins?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on February 27, 2016, 06:47:35 PM
From what I have seen, it's not much different than how Reisen is dressed.

What if Patchouli had perfect health?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on February 27, 2016, 11:59:24 PM
She'd be in EX mode all the time.

What if Medicine was a usable item in ISC?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on February 28, 2016, 07:30:01 AM
She would rebel and poison/slow down your character instead of your enemy.

What if each of the Touhou characters (except the male ones) have a boyfriend?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on February 28, 2016, 07:52:43 AM
She would rebel and poison/slow down your character instead of your enemy.

What if each of the Touhou characters (except the male ones) have a boyfriend?

Then Suika is somehow in denial of it for some reason (EVERYONE IS GAY IN GENSOKYO) (can't remember the source).

Also where does this leave Shingyoku

What if the Bermunda Triangle was caused by Yukari?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on February 28, 2016, 08:10:03 AM
She would gain a new Spell Card in SWR/Soku which she summons ships and aircrafts, in addition to her train.

What if ZUN is the Sun?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Spotty Len on February 28, 2016, 09:49:13 AM
 [T] / PRAISE THE ZUN  [T] /

What if a bunch of moon rabbits were actually humans disguised in order to infiltrate the Lunar Capital?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on February 28, 2016, 10:42:37 AM
Then they would probably ease the Lunar invasion a bit after making chaos among the ranks. But could the Earthlings be informed?

What if Raynor's Raiders (after the trilogy) wanted to visit Earth and stopped by the moon, which the Lunarians view as another pathetic human invasion of their land?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: andykhang on March 01, 2016, 04:57:22 PM


What if Raynor's Raiders (after the trilogy) wanted to visit Earth and stopped by the moon, which the Lunarians view as another pathetic human invasion of their land?

They should find a way to escaped it, pronto. You know they're overpowered the moment a Planck bomb is outdated.

What if Tenshi managed to found and be able to play an outside-world MMO?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 01, 2016, 05:56:48 PM
She'd end like NEET!Kaguya, but for a good reason.

What if the next game features a time travel back in the 10th century?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 02, 2016, 06:42:07 AM
Quote
What if the next game features a time travel back in the 10th century?

LOOOOL! Gensokyo is already a place that has been cutoff from the rest of the developed world and is still pretty much at a technological level of old Japan anyway. So... if they time traveled to 10th century Japan, nothing much would be different except Reimu would probably meet her Hakurei ancestors who were around before the barrier.

Adding time travel to any series always makes it suck HARD!  :barf:

What if... a geisha girl was added as a new character in the next Touhou game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 02, 2016, 10:33:17 AM
That sounds pretty interesting actually.  I definitely welcome more elegant characters to the series.

What if Koishi never sealed her third eye?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 02, 2016, 05:10:00 PM
What if Koishi never sealed her third eye?
Then she would be the mid-boss of SA's Stage 4.

What if Reimu smashed random objects in fear that they may become tsukumogami?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 02, 2016, 05:19:51 PM
Nothing that isn't alive would be safe anymore. Even rocks would be in danger.

What if Hecatia's 3 bodies always quarrel with each others over anything?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 02, 2016, 11:39:47 PM
Nothing that isn't alive would be safe anymore. Even rocks would be in danger.

What if Hecatia's 3 bodies always quarrel with each others over anything?
Hecatia has MPD.

What if PoDD turned out the way Reimu and her friends wanted, and the space hypervessel was ruins and they got a prize from Yumemi and Chiyuri when they went in?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 03, 2016, 01:55:20 PM
That would mean Yumemi and Chiyuri are, like, ancient beings who look after the ruins, which is in fact an entrance to another dimension where science rules supreme.  Reimu, Marisa, and Mima are the only ones who made it back out after getting their prizes, but the others aren't so lucky, though they still got what they want.  That's also why those characters never showed up again in the series.

What if Yukari failed to mind the gap while getting on the train?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 04, 2016, 12:57:21 AM
She'd fall to her doom.

What if Seihou was made for the PC-98?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 04, 2016, 07:25:40 AM
Quote
What if Seihou was made for the PC-98?

Glorious glorious PC-98 chip tune music!

... that or Seihou might be even more looked over than it already is due to it being on discontinued hardware.

What if... Cirno really did cryo-freeze Reimu/Marisa together with some English beef?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 04, 2016, 09:13:43 AM
No matter what, they would still be alive in the end, right?

What if every character could fight at their full potential, without being bound by the spellcard rules?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 04, 2016, 11:34:10 AM
The so-called "human heroes" might as well forfeit their careers.

What if one of the known lunarians became impure during LoLK and had to settle in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 04, 2016, 01:26:15 PM
What if one of the known lunarians became impure during LoLK and had to settle in Gensokyo?
They would be take in by Eientei.

What if Donald Trump became President of the Moon?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 04, 2016, 06:28:48 PM
Well bugger, what did he do to gain authority over the Lunarians?  As if their policy and standards were not harsh enough already.

What if all of the characters from the PC-98 era (not just Mima) came back?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 04, 2016, 07:10:51 PM
All of them would have their stories rewritten, so people would complain about stuff like "Shinki isn't Alice's mommy", or "Mima wasn't Marisa's teacher".

What if the Dragon God appeared in the next game as a result of LoLK and ULiL plots menacing Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 05, 2016, 08:30:26 PM
Gensokyo's own version of Dragon Tales.

What if Reimu really did catch an air conditioner cold?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 06, 2016, 05:54:24 AM
Quote
What if Reimu really did catch an air conditioner cold?

*ahh-choo!* all throughout the remainder of EoSD

That or Reimu would also have a sneeze attack like Koishi did in ULiL!

What if... Marisa did become a love doll at the SDM when she learned about it from Sakuya that time?  ;)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on March 06, 2016, 10:10:33 AM
*ahh-choo!* all throughout the remainder of EoSD

That or Reimu would also have a sneeze attack like Koishi did in ULiL!

What if... Marisa did become a love doll at the SDM when she learned about it from Sakuya that time?  ;)

Sakuya would throw her out for impropriety.

What if Hansel and Gretel were in the Forest of Magic instead of a normal forest? And Marisa was the witch?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 06, 2016, 04:17:26 PM
Sakuya would throw her out for impropriety.

What if Hansel and Gretel were in the Forest of Magic instead of a normal forest? And Marisa was the witch?
The "Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics" (anime) version of the story, with Marisa turning into a skeletal, bipedal, sword-wielding goat woman with bat wings!
Or just fire Cold Inferno to make them get out of there.

What if Marisa was right and Ruukoto did feed off Reimu's dreams each night?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 07, 2016, 11:19:44 AM
We can conclude that Ruukoto ended up in the Dream World somehow from doing this and is now lost forever.

What if you see Keine fall from the sky in the distance, and you go to where she fell and find her dead on the pavement?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 07, 2016, 12:23:15 PM
If everyone saw it, they'll just saw it's a random cosplayer with a stressful life. If only I saw it, I'll bury her in any suitable cemetery ASAP and write on the memorial:
Keine Kamishirasawa
?? - 07/03/2015
Was great teacher. Murdured monstorusly by Yukari. Hope good ride on Sanzu rivah.


What if Flight 19 and the search-and-rescue squadron were teleported to Gensokyo, except it's not by Yukari's doings?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 07, 2016, 01:22:03 PM
Yukari sheds tear of happiness due to not being used as a "plot device character" again.  Now let's blame Eirin's shady medicine for this.  Or maybe the Moriya conspiracy...

What if the series is a Mortal Kombat clone and is as popular as it is currently?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 07, 2016, 09:02:24 PM
I would hope that the fatalities are about as creative as the spellcards.

What if Marisa did take Sakuya's role of chief maid?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 07, 2016, 10:06:36 PM
Sakuya would become a freelancer, and would take Marisa's role as co-protagonist, meaning she'd playable in all the games (in your ass, Sanae!). As for Marisa, managing all the SDM without time abilities would be a nightmare for her, and Remilia would give her absurd tasks (more absurd than usual, that's it) just to laugh at her.

What if Yukari isn't related to Maribel, but to the Usami lineage instead? (Sumireko = violet child; Yukari = purple/violet :V)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 09, 2016, 02:08:58 AM
As I understand (new member here), it would be Sumireko with the Boundary Perception powers, and she would see Gensokyo much faster. Plus, manipulation of boundaries once it develops.

What if Touhou crossed over with Kingdom Hearts?
(Answer with honesty, expected; no sass).
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 09, 2016, 08:38:43 PM
As I understand (new member here), it would be Sumireko with the Boundary Perception powers, and she would see Gensokyo much faster. Plus, manipulation of boundaries once it develops.

What if Touhou crossed over with Kingdom Hearts?
(Answer with honesty, expected; no sass).
Touhou is finally a Disney property. Sort of.

What if this was re-enacted with 2hus? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL1sgVmM-rc
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 10, 2016, 12:01:51 AM
Quote
What if this was re-enacted with 2hus? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL1sgVmM-rc

OhgodwhatisthisIdon'teven  :X

I would imagine Yukari would be the robot and instead of a teleporter there would be gaps used instead. Ran would step inside one gap and come out the other gap, during which she has encountered untold horrors that singed her on her way through... perfect recreation!

What if... you were to be stranded on a desert island with one other Touhou character. Who would it be and why?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 10, 2016, 12:23:50 AM
OhgodwhatisthisIdon'teven  :X

I would imagine Yukari would be the robot and instead of a teleporter there would be gaps used instead. Ran would step inside one gap and come out the other gap, during which she has encountered untold horrors that singed her on her way through... perfect recreation!

What if... you were to be stranded on a desert island with one other Touhou character. Who would it be and why?
I would go with Keine. She seems to be the most mellow of all of the characters, save on full moons. Though, can't they fly?

What if the protagonists of the Touhou games (e.g. Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya, Youmu, Sanae, and Reisen) meet their shadow selves like the ones from Persona 4?  What deep, dark feelings would the shadow selves represent in each character? How would they act toward their original?
Bonus scenario: When they defeat said shadow, what would be the name of their Persona?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 13, 2016, 04:14:54 AM
Ara Mitama silly. No, no. This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n49Xsff5zms
What if Parsee got so jealous she turned into a giant monster?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 13, 2016, 07:08:57 AM
We need a bigger bridge...

What if Tsing Shi Tao (C&C: ZH China Nuke General) was husband to Utsuho Reiuji?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on March 13, 2016, 09:04:13 AM
Bye-bye, GLA...and bye-bye, world...

What if Emperor Jimmu became a Touhou?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 13, 2016, 02:38:36 PM
Bye-bye, GLA...and bye-bye, world...

What if Emperor Jimmu became a Touhou?
Jimmu-chan

What if Yuki and Mai became playable?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 13, 2016, 02:47:22 PM
Mima fans storm into ZUN's house for obvious reasons.  And the artist Hemogurobin A1C passes out from happiness because Mai is back.

What if Sanae goes to hell when she dies because she insulted Hecatia's t-shirt?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 13, 2016, 02:53:31 PM
Mima fans storm into ZUN's house for obvious reasons.  And the artist Hemogurobin A1C passes out from happiness because Mai is back.

What if Sanae goes to hell when she dies because she insulted Hecatia's t-shirt?
"You are...in hell."

What if Mima DID come back?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 13, 2016, 02:56:34 PM
Unfortunately, it's Mima in name only.

What if when Kosuzu died, her tombstone writes, "She had it coming?"
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 13, 2016, 03:14:56 PM
Gah, don't spoil FS for me!  But umm, that's cold, I guess... You kind of answered your own question.

What if Flandre was a boss fight in Impossible Spell Card?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 13, 2016, 03:18:50 PM
Gah, don't spoil FS for me!  But umm, that's cold, I guess... You kind of answered your own question.

What if Flandre was a boss fight in Impossible Spell Card?
MURDER.

What if the next Touhou game was a "Fantastic Voyage" Plot where you went inside a character's body?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 13, 2016, 03:49:10 PM
MURDER.

What if the next Touhou game was a "Fantastic Voyage" Plot where you went inside a character's body?

Everyone would need showers afterwards.

Let's say Touhou was instead an Eastern RPG (Turn-based version), but with the same lore. What kind of roles would each of the characters fulfill based on their lore (e.g. DPS, Tank, Healer, Status Change)?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 13, 2016, 05:22:53 PM
Everyone would need showers afterwards.
And also LifeForce.

Let's say Touhou was instead an Eastern RPG (Turn-based version), but with the same lore. What kind of roles would each of the characters fulfill based on their lore (e.g. DPS, Tank, Healer, Status Change)?
Marisa would be the Tank haha

What if Byakuren was beatnik  :)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 13, 2016, 06:58:54 PM
What if Byakuren was beatnik  :)
I have no idea who that is. If you mean the definition beatnik and meant is she was a beatnik, I would say: I am imagining Byakuren in a black sweater and pants, sandals, a beret, wearing sunglasses, and carrying a bongo.

What if Touhou was redesigned as a Persona game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 14, 2016, 03:53:49 PM
More bullets with more colors and more creative patterns for Persona!

(Yet another C&C marriage)
What if Dr. Thrax was husband to Yamame Kurodani?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 15, 2016, 09:34:18 PM
More bullets with more colors and more creative patterns for Persona!

(Yet another C&C marriage)
What if Dr. Thrax was husband to Yamame Kurodani?
I dunno, spider youkai children?

What if Mega Man X came into Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TableCloth on March 15, 2016, 11:03:45 PM
X, Axl, and Zero will all become girls!
That, or they're simply forgotten

What if LoLK with Overdrive difficulty?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 15, 2016, 11:13:43 PM
X, Axl, and Zero will all become girls!
That, or they're simply forgotten

What if LoLK with Overdrive difficulty?
No one is able to clear the game.

What if Youmu was Raiden from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance? Who would the members of the Winds of Destruction and Armstrong be?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 16, 2016, 09:20:38 PM
X, Axl, and Zero will all become girls!
That, or they're simply forgotten
They will NOT become girls nor they will be forgotten!

No one is able to clear the game.

What if Youmu was Raiden from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance? Who would the members of the Winds of Destruction and Armstrong be?
IDK.

What if Patchouli threw up all over the SDM?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Bic?- on March 16, 2016, 10:14:59 PM
They will NOT become girls nor they will be forgotten!
IDK.

What if Patchouli threw up all over the SDM?

W-Why would she do that...
She's got asthma, not some stomachache

What if someone makes a Touou-themed Cards Against Humanity?

Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 17, 2016, 12:13:03 AM
Cards Against Humanity: Gensokyo Edition
"A man met Rumia and said..."
"Wassup nigga!" (bloody hell I'm racist pls kill me  :colonveeplusalpha: )

What if the PC-98 characters return to the Windows series UNCHANGED? (Includes Mima of course)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 17, 2016, 12:27:09 AM
Cards Against Humanity: Gensokyo Edition
"A man met Rumia and said..."
"Wassup nigga!" (bloody hell I'm racist pls kill me  :colonveeplusalpha: )

What if the PC-98 characters return to the Windows series UNCHANGED? (Includes Mima of course)
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY

What if Cyriak invaded Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: SlimeKid on March 17, 2016, 12:34:30 AM
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY

What if Cyriak invaded Gensokyo?

Yukari's gap eyes would be pretty commonplace!

What if Marisa was the shrine maiden, and Reimu was the magician?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 17, 2016, 12:41:05 AM
Kleptomaniac shrine maiden and money-hungry jerkass witch... I can see how this will end up...

No one is able to clear the game.

What if Youmu was Raiden from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance? Who would the members of the Winds of Destruction and Armstrong be?

The above question is not answered, as the person who's supposed to answer it simply said "IDK".
If you don't know how to answer a question, just leave it there until someone who knows an answer to it answers it. Only force-skip a question if it isn't answered within a month.
As it technically isn't answered, I'll be repeating that question in behalf of the original poster.

What if Youmu was Raiden from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance? Who would the members of the Winds of Destruction and Armstrong be?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 17, 2016, 04:17:24 PM
Quote
What if Youmu was Raiden from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance? Who would the members of the Winds of Destruction and Armstrong be?

If it's patchable then there will be a touhou patch of it! (GTA San Andreas and Civilization IV: Beyond the Sword mods proved that)

Possible replacements for the Winds of Destruction could be Rika who could build a robotic metal gear thing with a sword, Meira since she is all about her sword and Toyosatomimi no Miko since her Shichi-sei ken could be used as a sword.

Armstrong would definitely have to be Yorihime because over the top epic final battles!  :V

What if... Your favorite Touhou was found by you in your room one day and you are informed that she is your unconditional slave for 24 hours that will do anything you demand of her and after that she returns to Gensokyo forever. Who would it be and what would you do with her with those 24 hours? (InB4 ecchi overload!  ;))
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 17, 2016, 05:53:38 PM
That'd be either Yukari or Rumia. Excluding stuff like "infinite wishes" (i.e  "now you swear to serve me forever"):
Yukari:
Extremely ludicrous theft
Take me to various places of the world that i wouldn't be able to see otherwise, including Gensokyo and the Moon (if it's full Moon time), while protecting me (you never know with those youkai deals!)
Use some (permanent) crazy shikigami equation to make me faster, stronger, smarter, and so on.
Allow me to pet Ran and Chen :3
Give me her fan and umbrella
Make me fly on her/Ran's/Chen's back.
Tell me the truth about her powers.
Rumia:
Make me fly
Destroy some stuff for the heck of it
Eat my mother's boyfriend

What if it's actually a trap and everything you ask of them comes back at you in some way or another?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 17, 2016, 06:32:32 PM
I don't care, I got to meet a Touhou character; my life is already fulfilled.

What if the official Touhou manga got anime adaptations?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 17, 2016, 07:21:27 PM
I don't care, I got to meet a Touhou character; my life is already fulfilled.

What if the official Touhou manga got anime adaptations?
An English dub would be made by Funimation, nothing changed, and aired on Cartoon Network. Starring Michelle Ruff as Reimu!

What if Donald McDonald actually invaded Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Bic?- on March 17, 2016, 07:42:50 PM
Where is the question?  :wat:
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 17, 2016, 07:47:57 PM
There is none.

What if Chirumiru-chan added a question?
(I mean no harm)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 17, 2016, 08:54:46 PM
There is none.

What if Chirumiru-chan added a question?
(I mean no harm)
The question would be: "What if Donald McDonald actually invaded Gensokyo?"

And the answer is that Rumia will open the first McDonald's in Gensokyo.

What if the Seihou people and ZUN had joined forces to make EoSD?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: DeityDiz93 on March 17, 2016, 10:00:17 PM
Quote
And the answer is that Rumia will open the first McDonald's in Gensokyo.
"I bet she doesn't even have ten fries."

To answer the question, I'd imagine if Amusement Makers had been around and helped out with EoSD's development that Rin Satsuki could have been made as a possible addition to the player character roster with the time cut down from their support; also, Seihou Project itself would likely continue to be the sister series to Touhou and be made alongside Touhou games nowadays much like the fighting games.

What if Rin Satsuki was a player character in Touhou 6 Embodiment of Scarlet Devil?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Bic?- on March 17, 2016, 10:27:44 PM
"I bet she doesn't even have ten fries."

To answer the question, I'd imagine if Amusement Makers had been around and helped out with EoSD's development that Rin Satsuki could have been made as a possible addition to the player character roster with the time cut down from their support; also, Seihou Project itself would likely continue to be the sister series to Touhou and be made alongside Touhou games nowadays much like the fighting games.

What if Rin Satsuki was a player character in Touhou 6 Embodiment of Scarlet Devil?

She would have been like Sakuya nowdays  :ohdear:

What if the Great Barrier of Gensokyo suddenly stops working?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 17, 2016, 10:33:05 PM
She would have been like Sakuya nowdays  :ohdear:

What if the Great Barrier of Gensokyo suddenly stops working?
MORE HUMANS!

What if all the water in Gensokyo turned into lemonade?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 17, 2016, 11:46:19 PM
Remillia would be facing a 'small' problem here.

What if Unzan now fires hundreds of Panzerfaust?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 18, 2016, 12:23:03 AM
Then everyone starts using heavy artillery of some kind to compensate.

What if all the fairies became powerful enough to take on Reimu solo and win?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 18, 2016, 12:59:41 AM
This means all fairies are all at final/ex boss level, and since they usually come in packs, it also means Reimu wouldn't even be able to reach Rumia in the middle of EoSD stage 1.

What if the next game has only actual american characters as bosses?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 18, 2016, 05:23:39 AM
Abraham Lincoln would be so proud together with Clownpiece. Also a spice of freedom from every stages.

What if Tank, NIkolai, Takeo and Richtofen messed up with the teleporter again and arrive in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 18, 2016, 08:15:37 PM
Abraham Lincoln would be so proud together with Clownpiece. Also a spice of freedom from every stages.

What if Tank, NIkolai, Takeo and Richtofen messed up with the teleporter again and arrive in Gensokyo?
Welcome to Gensokyo, tank.

What if this was re-enacted with 2hus? https://www.facebook.com/relatabloddball/videos/1579442595708004/
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 18, 2016, 09:47:45 PM
Junko takes Sagume, ties her, and instead of lobsters she uses purified fairies to freak her out with impurity.

What if the next main game has someone completely new as playable character?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 18, 2016, 10:47:22 PM
If she is so unrelated, she must be from the Outside!

What if the next fighting game takes all characters as playable?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 19, 2016, 12:58:39 AM
If she is so unrelated, she must be from the Outside!

What if the next fighting game takes all characters as playable?
Touhou All-Stars

What if Rin Satsuki fell down from the sky one day when Miko was taking a walk?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: DeityDiz93 on March 19, 2016, 06:12:29 AM
Perhaps Miko would mistake Rin Satsuki for a fallen celestial at first. After, of course, lending her aid from her fall, she would likely learn the truth soon enough of her true specie, but I'd imagine they'd still end up getting along famously with each other due to Miko's nature as a Saint and Rin's nature as a Kirin.

What if ZUN had included Myouren as the final boss instead of Byakuren as he originally had planned to in Touhou 12 Undefined Fantastic Object?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Evil_Nazgul0616 on March 19, 2016, 06:32:40 AM
Then Byakuren would be long dead, and Myouren will be Youkai Jesus. Also Miko would look more feminine.

What if the Three Fairies of Light were once the same fairy, but were split into three?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 19, 2016, 07:14:14 AM
Then Cirno would have a REAL competitor of the strongest fairy in Gensokyo if they managed to fuse each other. Prepare a battle of Lazors cutting through Ice!

What if this thread becomes a "What if I told you" thread instead?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on March 19, 2016, 10:35:19 AM
Then Cirno would have a REAL competitor of the strongest fairy in Gensokyo if they managed to fuse each other. Prepare a battle of Lazors cutting through Ice!

What if this thread becomes a "What if I told you" thread instead?

Then someone would ask "What if I told you this thread would become a "What if" thread?"

What if Madotsuki came across Gensokyo? Assume all effects.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 19, 2016, 01:06:21 PM
Quote
What if Madotsuki came across Gensokyo? Assume all effects.

Well, if the player of Yume Nikki is playing like how most people would play it, Madotsuki would use the knife on everything she comes across... think of it like the genocide run in Undertale. Leaving a bloody trail of human and youkai in her wake, someone sounds the alarm to Reimu and she would go off to investigate this new incident.

Hopefully Madotsuki is stopped before she uses the knife on any of my favorite Touhou's.  :ohdear:

What if... Your mum was a Touhou?  :P
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Bic?- on March 19, 2016, 01:16:57 PM
Well, if the player of Yume Nikki is playing like how most people would play it, Madotsuki would use the knife on everything she comes across... think of it like the genocide run in Undertale. Leaving a bloody trail of human and youkai in her wake, someone sounds the alarm to Reimu and she would go off to investigate this new incident.

Hopefully Madotsuki is stopped before she uses the knife on any of my favorite Touhou's.  :ohdear:

What if... Your mum was a Touhou?  :P

New and original "Yo Mama" jokes :D

What if Touhou becomes an Olympic sport?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 19, 2016, 01:24:41 PM
It would be completely unfair to everyone.

What if a jet fighter pilot was able to dodge (or at least graze) everything the enemy throws at him (missiles and bullets) because he is a Hardcore Extra player?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 19, 2016, 01:56:07 PM
Then Touhou would become a military training system to teach others pilots in doing the same.

What if Toyohime flapped her fan fifty times in all directions?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 19, 2016, 02:05:41 PM
Then Touhou would become a military training system to teach others pilots in doing the same.

What if Toyohime flapped her fan fifty times in all directions?
Flappy fan~

What if Alice, Medicine, and Parsee all became friends?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 20, 2016, 12:08:04 AM
Then hope Medicine controls her poison during teatime with each other.

What if Element 115 dropped upon Gensokyo? (CoD: Zombies)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 20, 2016, 01:54:52 AM
Then hope Medicine controls her poison during teatime with each other.

What if Element 115 dropped upon Gensokyo? (CoD: Zombies)
CoD, PoDD.
What if REIMU FACE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8akvRQbspg) invaded Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 20, 2016, 05:49:48 AM
Summon Hina-face! The existence of Youkai cannot be wiped out because that is what Gensokyo is for originally! Prepare defenses!

What if during WW2, Operation Downfall included one Ultra-top secret objective: Capture Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 20, 2016, 07:02:58 AM
Quote
What if during WW2, Operation Downfall included one Ultra-top secret objective: Capture Gensokyo?

Well them Allied forces better learn how to dodge, graze, stream and collect those blue point boxes if they hope to have a chance of 1CC'ing the whole of Gensokyo along with Japan. Capturing Gensokyo was considered the extra stage in Operation Downfall.

What if... A strip club opened in the human village right in its main street. Which Touhou's would most likely strip there as a part-time/full-time job? (InB4 Reimu for donations... too easy  :V)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 20, 2016, 11:35:09 AM
It would be just like that dream one person had in the Dream Thread. (https://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,13774.msg1172920.html#msg1172920)

What if Sakuya was the clock from Don't Hug Me I'm Scared?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 21, 2016, 11:59:53 AM
"Make it stop!!!!" screamed Remilia, who now has gray hair and a face full of wrinkles.

What if DC Comics obtains licensing rights to produce comics for the series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 21, 2016, 12:42:55 PM
They would make Gensokyo "real" in their universe, meaning Sumireko and others involved in the Outside World might get to meet Batman and the likes.

What if the Seven Lucky Gods (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Lucky_Gods) are the bosses of the next game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 21, 2016, 10:20:35 PM
They would make Gensokyo "real" in their universe, meaning Sumireko and others involved in the Outside World might get to meet Batman and the likes.

What if the Seven Lucky Gods (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Lucky_Gods) are the bosses of the next game?
Do it like Stratovox. "LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY" seven times.

What if Seija wrote for SpongeBob?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 22, 2016, 11:56:15 AM
Spongebob would probably be more like Squidward and vice-versa, Patrick would probably be the smartest character in the show, and a generous Mr. Krabs.

What if Sakuya's maids were more useful.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 22, 2016, 12:08:59 PM
They'll get more screentime in the series.

What if Marvel obtains licensing rights to produce comics for the series?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 22, 2016, 03:21:49 PM
Then you'll find out that our Touhous are far powerful than the best Avengers. (Travelling at the speed of light? Meh, I'll just stop time and 'teleport' there)

What if MH370 actually went into Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ryuunotaki on March 23, 2016, 09:10:26 AM
Gensokyo's Youkai will have enough food to last them days and the Kappa would have a field day with outsider tech.

What if your neighbours are actually Touhou girls in disguise?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 23, 2016, 10:58:39 AM
\
What if your neighbours are actually Touhou girls in disguise?
Then my Aunt must be Mamizou, working together with my mother, Nue. Wait, then I am...

What if Hitler's Pencil of Mass Destruction is forged together with Flandre's destructive aura?



Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 23, 2016, 11:40:44 AM
Throw pencil -> America explodes.

What if the SDM people became relevant again?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 23, 2016, 01:06:23 PM
Sakuya would most likely be playable again.

What if Gengetsu was a boss fight in Impossible Spell Card?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 23, 2016, 01:21:50 PM
A pc-98 character is back and it isn't Mima? You want to see the world burn?

What if the next game is entirely set on the Moon and no one from Gensokyo is in it?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Mujie on March 23, 2016, 02:09:46 PM
Yorihime would be the protag, the kicker is the final boss is an impossible boss

What if the remaining Mountain of Faith cast got in a fighting game next?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ryuunotaki on March 23, 2016, 03:20:31 PM
We'd have people getting defeated through the sheer force of misfortune.

What if... an entire nation would make Touhouism their state religion?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 23, 2016, 05:30:39 PM
In the beginning, Shinki created Makai, and saw that it was good...

What if there was a main series game where Reimu and Marisa were not playable?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 23, 2016, 08:13:05 PM
Youmu, Sanae, Sakuya, and Reisen would all have a chance to shine?

What if there was a Touhou jRPG that had all Windows and PC-98 characters as recruitable party members?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 23, 2016, 10:07:46 PM
Mima came back!

What if Cirno was the strongest?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 23, 2016, 10:54:22 PM
Then she was telling the truth all along. Never doubt a fairy's words!

What if the game music was canonically played by actual characters that follow the playable characters in their jouneys?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Mujie on March 23, 2016, 11:50:26 PM
There would very quickly be a tsukumogami incident.

What if every single book in the SDM Library was stolen?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 24, 2016, 12:07:07 AM
Then we can't blame Marisa anymore if you know what I mean.

What if conflicts in the Outside World (I mean by this one) could be resolved by Danmaku and tea?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 24, 2016, 01:38:00 AM
Then we can't blame Marisa anymore if you know what I mean.

What if conflicts in the Outside World (I mean by this one) could be resolved by Danmaku and tea?
WWII would have ended very quickly.

What if Reisen started a fun house?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Apocrypha on March 24, 2016, 01:44:30 AM
The kids would love it.

What if in the next game a father and his two sons are plot important bosses?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 24, 2016, 02:45:07 AM
Finally more males in Touhou!

What if Youkai Mountain became a massive artillery base?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on March 24, 2016, 06:26:39 AM
What IS there to fire at?

Unless someone invaded Gensokyo, then Youkai Mountain would save it.

What if Utsuho worked for the Manhattan Project?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 24, 2016, 08:54:21 AM
What if Utsuho worked for the Manhattan Project?
If Sanae found out, she would become very very angry. (And it also means that Touhou takes place during/after WW2)

What if ZUN rebooted Touhou again, "removing" even Reimu and Marisa? (Nevermind the fact that Boomer asked a similar question before.)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 24, 2016, 12:26:47 PM
Sanae is now the new protagonist, and also the only returning character.

What if the next game takes place 10 years after Touhou 15?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 24, 2016, 12:51:12 PM
Then only the humans would show a 'showing' change in body. And hope Reimu has an offspring to resume the Hakurei job.

What if Reimu has a big brother?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 24, 2016, 02:04:30 PM
He'll be a character who never makes a physical appearance whatsoever.  We only get to hear him speak.

What if ZUN says to all power level discussion participants that he thinks his characters aren't actually very powerful?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 24, 2016, 02:54:16 PM
People would start arguing
a) "Not really powerful compared to who?"
and
b) "Who's the least "not very powerful" among them?"

What if ULiL final boss was (genderswapped) ZUN instead of Sumireko?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 24, 2016, 03:33:55 PM
She'd be still beatable like Sumireko, unless the 'she' becomes the 'he'.

What if Mokou plays a game of soccer?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 24, 2016, 04:20:49 PM
She'd be still beatable like Sumireko, unless the 'she' becomes the 'he'.

What if Mokou plays a game of soccer?
The ball would be on fire...

What if Sanae was actually Mima?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 24, 2016, 05:14:27 PM
Then Mima managed to become a god of a shrine after all. Not a "complete god", not the Hakurei god, but it's still something, right?

What if absolutely everything in PMiSS and SoPM becomes true due to the urban legend incident?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 24, 2016, 06:58:29 PM
Then Mima managed to become a god of a shrine after all. Not a "complete god", not the Hakurei god, but it's still something, right?

What if absolutely everything in PMiSS and SoPM becomes true due to the urban legend incident?
Fandom yay

What if Touhou was set in Korean?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 25, 2016, 12:50:19 AM
Then almost every characters will have Korean-sounding names, and drinks Korean tea. Also, Korean!Gensokyo will be split off during the Joseong Dynasty.

What if Mima have pupils other than Marisa?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 25, 2016, 01:04:49 AM
Then almost every characters will have Korean-sounding names, and drinks Korean tea. Also, Korean!Gensokyo will be split off during the Joseong Dynasty.

What if Mima have pupils other than Marisa?
One would be Bass, the other would be Rin Satsuki, and I forget the rest.

What if the mentally unstable girl who created Kana came back to Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ryuunotaki on March 25, 2016, 05:28:42 AM
Then there shall be an incident on the matter of lunatics and a poltergeist advent.

What if Touhou were about the Lunar Capital, rather than Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 25, 2016, 07:00:32 AM
It would be more violent and serious than the story of Gensokyo. Bloody Hell of Space.

What if a flying KV-2 tank of derp decides to take on every Gensokyan one-by-one?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on March 25, 2016, 08:40:53 AM
Rika would the main character and the only character left in the Touhou series.

What if the following were a meme:

Help me,MEIRINNNNNN!!
Help me,ORINNNNNN!!
Help me,NAZRINNNNNN!!
Help me,ICHIRINNNNNN!!
Help me,KOURINNNNNN!!


Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 25, 2016, 08:52:34 AM
There will be remixes of the respective chracters' theme songs to go along with it.

What if the Japanese Marine Self-Defense Force has a battleship by the name of JDS Hakurei?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Ryuunotaki on March 25, 2016, 10:04:36 AM
Then the Abyssals' days are at an end.

What if Emperor Palpatine found himself in Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: LawfulInsane on March 25, 2016, 10:36:27 AM
Depends on whether the Empire can get in, or even knows where he is.

If they can't, incident ensues, Palpatine doesn't play by spell-card rules, someone might get killed (POWAAAAAH UNLIMITED POWAAAAAH)  and then Reimu or someone kills him.

If they CAN, then good luck. Only Flandre (if she's sane enough to destroy all the Empire) or Yukari's boundaryhax can save them.

What if Gensokyo was set in China?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 25, 2016, 12:35:52 PM
Incidents would be solved by martial arts instead. (And Meiling would be OP as ever)

What if there was a Gensokyo-wide cooking competition?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 25, 2016, 12:50:07 PM
What if Gensokyo was set in China?
Everybody would be anti-bodies in Meiling's body (I had to)

What if there was a Gensokyo-wide cooking competition?
Tasty treats! I think Yumemi would win with her strawberries.

What if Reimu woke up to find herself anorexic?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Shadowlupus on March 25, 2016, 03:35:35 PM
Grass/Dirt-eating miko meme would take on a whole new meaning and become much more heartbreaking.

What if Mokou and Kaguya had a spicy food eating contest?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 25, 2016, 05:02:02 PM
Since Mokou is a fire user anyway, I feel like she would be used to it.

What if Touhou was a shounen anime series like Dragon Ball Z?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: PK on March 25, 2016, 05:53:59 PM
We wouldn't need unofficial anime like Fantasy Kaleidoscope, but also no more jokes based on gameplay mechanics. And Sagume's voice actress could as well sleep on the job given how few words she spits out.

What if we had personified dinosaurs as characters?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 26, 2016, 12:01:37 AM
Then we have characters that seriously can and want to kill each other. (with claws of course)

What if somebody made a Battlefield map of Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 26, 2016, 02:14:58 AM
Then we have characters that seriously can and want to kill each other. (with claws of course)

What if somebody made a Battlefield map of Gensokyo?
Gensokyo with guns

What if there was a sponge youkai?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 26, 2016, 03:37:57 AM
Growing fat from absorbing water is one of her powers.  Now people with body inflation fetish will have a field day.

What if Rinnosuke spontaneously combusted?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: the old guy on March 26, 2016, 04:24:10 AM
Then marisa would steal all of his shit

What if Reimu was a inquisitor from Warhammer 40k?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: snowflake247 on March 27, 2016, 01:28:32 AM
She would be a lot more ruthless when exterminating purging youkai daemons and xenos. (And heretics, of course!) Most of them would probably end up meeting the same fate as the fortune teller from FS.

This scenario might also mean the Hakurei Shrine's god would have to be the Emperor of Mankind. That would be interesting...

What if the next Touhou game's plot was based on the "ancient astronauts" theory?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 27, 2016, 04:03:13 AM
Then Touhou will become a base of a new Ancient Aliens episode. Youkai's are aliens, period.

What if I have three tickets to Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Boomer on March 27, 2016, 02:07:18 PM
Give one to me please?

What if conflicts in the real world were resolved with danmaku?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 27, 2016, 02:25:39 PM
Then our world would be humourly-violent. No need for the Treaty of Versailles. Also, Britain would be economically powerful due to it's tea reserves.

What if a game called: "Gensokyo: The Fall of the Spellcard Rule"?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 27, 2016, 05:14:25 PM
Then our world would be humourly-violent. No need for the Treaty of Versailles. Also, Britain would be economically powerful due to it's tea reserves.

What if a game called: "Gensokyo: The Fall of the Spellcard Rule"?
PC-98 era Gensokyo again yay

What if Nitori did actually open up "Kapanet Nitori"?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 29, 2016, 04:31:33 AM
Contrary to what people think, the girls will not find anything about themselves on the internet, because they're not fourth wall breakers.

What if you can buy Wakasagihime from a pet store for fish?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 29, 2016, 11:55:43 AM
Quote
What if you can buy Wakasagihime from a pet store for fish?

Oh... oh god... I think I'm having a flashback of Sea Men for the Sega Dreamcast! That horrible twisted mess of a game... IT BURNZZ!  :X

Hopefully nobody would tell the Yukkuri guys over at One Yukkuri Place. They would probably crush the poor thing to see it's "bean paste" splat out for fun.

What if... The big mysterious egg that the three fairies stole from Reimu in EaLND chapter five was indeed a tengu egg? Would that mean that tengu youkai like Aya have to periodically nest and lay an egg like in this 4koma?

Danbooru post, SFW: http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/488873
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 29, 2016, 12:07:46 PM
Clearly the question is what is Reimu doing with Aya's egg. Trying to make it hatch for reasons?

What if Reimu lost her sleeves?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 29, 2016, 12:20:07 PM
Quote
What if Reimu lost her sleeves?

Without the sleeves, Reimu looses 1/3 of what makes her recognizable as a character! If she looses much more of her outfit then your probably won't be able to recognize her on Dandooru without the name tags.

What if... Touhou started out as a hentai visual novel and everything grew from that? Kinda like Touhou Kenchinroku ~record of penis viewing~. Kinda like the circumstances of Fate/Stay Night originally being an adult game.
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 29, 2016, 02:13:49 PM
Then no wonder why Touhou has so many hentai doujins. (Also, perverted ZUN)

What if... dotdotdot successfully struck Yukari's bedroom?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Lt Colonel Summers on March 30, 2016, 12:30:35 AM
Simply laying your hand on Yukari's bedroom is already enough to net you one hell of a punishment, and since ISIS attacked it...

Also, Hannibal, questions aren't funny anymore when you put ISIS in it. I only answered it so the topic could get moving. Next time, try not to ask anything that involves ISIS in this topic.

What if Reimu summoning the Shinto gods is a gameplay mechanic in a future game?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Goomba98 on March 30, 2016, 01:44:58 AM
She would become just as OP as Toyohime.

What if ZUN made a Sonic Generations-esque game where Classic Reimu and Modern Reimu team up for reasons? (Hey, they both started out on 16-bit systems...)
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: game2011 on March 30, 2016, 03:28:23 AM
The main antagonist is Sakuya trying to make it so that she is the main protagonist of the series, hence her reason for messing with the timeline.  The game involves choosing to play as either classic or modern Reimu and going through one stage from every mainstream game, and bosses are chosen according to popularity, which would mean a poll is conducted before the creation of the game to determine this.  I think someone asked this before and I also answered it... or was that in a different thread?

What if after ZUN retires, his son has no intention of continuing the series for him?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 30, 2016, 03:55:15 AM
I'd be glad. I don't really trust other peoples' hands trying to improve a good game. Don't know about the others though. But I see a bad future if his son officially continues it.

What if Britain had been secretly trading tea into Gensokyo?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on March 30, 2016, 07:47:17 AM
Next time, try not to ask anything that involves ISIS in this topic.
(http://i.imgur.com/TUYPbmK.png)

What if Britain had been secretly trading tea into Gensokyo?
That explains the taxes.

What if Isis (the Egyptian goddess) was a 2hu?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: TTBD on March 30, 2016, 07:10:50 PM
Quote
What if Isis (the Egyptian goddess) was a 2hu?
(http://thepyramidoflight.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/13-Sep-12-blog-article.jpg)

What if Seija was put near with Koishi (Koishi has no personality, and Seija's ability also means that she has the opposite personality of anybody near her.)

EDIT: Even better, what if Seija cloned herself, and put the clone by her?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: HalfGrand on March 30, 2016, 07:21:47 PM
Quote
What if Seija was put near with Koishi (Koishi has no personality, and Seija's ability also means that she has the opposite personality of anybody near her.)

Welp, I guess the opposite of absolutely no personality is having too much personality. Seija would probably be a tsundere, yandere, kuudere, dandere, tsunshun, genki and yangire all rolled into one. A perfect storm of chaos would probably be an understatement.  :ohdear:

What if... the reason that Marisa's hitbox is larger than Reimu's and that she uses her butt as a melee attack in the fighting games is because she has a GREAT BIG ASS!?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvTpEoi0tzE
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on March 30, 2016, 11:25:31 PM
Then Marisa has the legendary Ass of Steel PewDiePie once said a long time ago. Too bad it's still a one-shot in Danmaku.

What if Albert Einstein met Suika?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on April 02, 2016, 02:54:09 PM
Then Marisa has the legendary Ass of Steel PewDiePie once said a long time ago. Too bad it's still a one-shot in Danmaku.

What if Albert Einstein met Suika?
Suika Theory

What if there was a character that could only say "rururururu"?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hope ♦ Metal on April 02, 2016, 06:07:37 PM
Suika Theory

What if there was a character that could only say "rururururu"?
Her name would be Ruru. She would talk in sentences composed entirely of "rururururu". It will become annoying for the heroines very quickly which will make them want to beat her up faster. Ruru will be the mastermind behind an incident, the goal of which is to make the entire populace speak only in "rururururu" to remove social inequality, despite the fact that everyone was speaking Japanese anyway. She would not agree that her idea is stupid when it is pointed out to her. All of her spellcards will have names with a legible first half, but the second half will be all "rururururu". It will turn out that the only reason Ruru speaks in that way, is because she is a foreign youkai and never learned proper Japanese. In the good endings, she starts to learn Japanese, but her sentences still contain mostly "rururururu".

What if Orin visited you every night and whispered cryptic things in your ear, while getting awkwardly close, then meowed and disappeared?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on April 02, 2016, 06:17:12 PM
Her name would be Ruru. She would talk in sentences composed entirely of "rururururu". It will become annoying for the heroines very quickly which will make them want to beat her up faster. Ruru will be the mastermind behind an incident, the goal of which is to make the entire populace speak only in "rururururu" to remove social inequality, despite the fact that everyone was speaking Japanese anyway. She would not agree that her idea is stupid when it is pointed out to her. All of her spellcards will have names with a legible first half, but the second half will be all "rururururu". It will turn out that the only reason Ruru speaks in that way, is because she is a foreign youkai and never learned proper Japanese. In the good endings, she starts to learn Japanese, but her sentences still contain mostly "rururururu".

What if Orin visited you every night and whispered cryptic things in your ear, while getting awkwardly close, then meowed and disappeared?
What the heck just happened?

What if SoEW was released for the PS1 in 1997, with MIDI soundtrack as the main soundtrack, and the game actually got an US release?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on April 03, 2016, 01:31:25 AM
I am afraid PC-98 vs Windows fandom wars would turn into a Console vs PC argument among Touhou-ers.

What if Yoshika was the commander of the zombie horde in Plant vs Zombies?
Title: Re: What If... v 5.0
Post by: Tengukami on April 03, 2016, 02:07:21 AM
Then she would go ahead and lock this thread now, just a couple posts shy of the 1,000 post limit.

Also looks like this'll be the last one of these we'll be doing, as it's gotten pretty spammy and low content. Consider the What If threads permanently retired.