Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Rumia's Party Games => Mystia's Stored Games => Topic started by: Bardiche on August 29, 2011, 11:39:20 AM
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(the following is a work of fiction. All names, references and locations are purely fictional. Any similarity to real world people, references or locations are purely and totally coincidental.)
(http://boonce.org/up/gk4lobby.gif)
> You are Shadoweh. You're a lot of things: UncertainKitten's waifu, Dormio's favourite lynchpin... but you know what you are as well? You're an attorney, that's what! Wait, what?
> Right, you're an attorney. You remember. That adorable, cute Bardiche (who always loses to you at children's card games) asked you to do an easy job for him. Represent someone in a real easy case you couldn't possibly screw up. Required zero effort, he said.
> "Shadoweeeeeeh! I didn't do iiiiiit!" Oh, right. That wailing voice belongs to Serela. NeoSerela. The defendant, in this case. He's looking as confused and scatterbrained as usual. The guy'd forget his own name if it wasn't written on his shirt. ... why is it written on his shirt?
> You should probably go over some things now or something. The court'll be in session in a few minutes. Can't wait to see the prosecution and judge.
>_
----
COURT RECORDS:
Attorney Badge
Wouldn't be one without one. Though this one isn't actually yours, but that's alright. You've just been borrowing it for a bit. A few years. Or so.
Bard's Case File
NeoSerela; Defendant
Accused of the murder of Kitten4u
Specifics: Kitten4u and NeoSerela had been in disagreement over NeoSerela's latest Psycho Plot Mafia the Extreme setup for 64 players. Two days ago, Kitten4u invited NeoSerela to her room to discuss matters again. The room was securely locked with a steel door, and it was locked from the inside.
Between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight, Kitten4u was shot in the face with a gun.
Said gun was in NeoSerela's hands.
The door was also shown to not have been opened between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight. There is no window in the door, and shooting through the steel door has been proven impossible.
VOTE/VIG Handgun
Allegedly the murder weapon. Was fired only once, and only has Serela's fingerprints on it.
Role PM
Serela is a Vigilante.
Note
The police were called after Edible heard gunfire at 10.13 PM. The police arrived at some unknown point. They found Kitten4u's dead body and arrested NeoSerela on the spot at 10.44 PM.
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>What is Serela accused of, and did he actually do it?
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>What is Serela accused of, and did he actually do it?
> Right, you know some things about the case. Let's see, Bard gave you that file... ah, there it is!
> NeoSerela; Defendant
> Accused of the murder of Kitten4u
> Specifics: Kitten4u and NeoSerela had been in disagreement over NeoSerela's latest Psycho Plot Mafia the Extreme setup for 64 players. Two days ago, Kitten4u invited NeoSerela to her room to discuss matters again. The room was securely locked with a steel door, and it was locked from the inside.
> Between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight, Kitten4u was shot in the face with a gun.
> Said gun was in NeoSerela's hands.
> The door was also shown to not have been opened between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight. There is no window in the door, and shooting through the steel door has been proven impossible. For some reason, UncertainKitten went through this and marked it: shooting through steel with a gun is impossible in this scenario. Huh.
> You don't know whether NeoSerela is the killer or not. Bard said it'd be easy though!
>_
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>And what of windows not embedded in steel doors, are there any?
>Interrogate Serela with a wily smile. What does he have to say about the situation. Does he provide an alibi?
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> You flip through the file again. Yep, no windows anywhere. It was a complete closed room...!! The door's lock mechanism could only be operated from the inside to boot.
> NeoSerela shuffles a bit nervously. "Well, I was asleep when it happened," is all he manages sheepishly.
> Ding! Dong! Dell!
> Looks like it's time for the court session to start! Shadoweh, let's do it!
> You saunter into the courtroom with all the dignity of an attorney. You take seat in the defence seat like an attorney. You shake your partner, Dormio's hand like an atto-- Dormio's your partner? ... Oh dear.
> "Well, Shadoweh! Let's tango!" And it looks like your opponent is... UncertainKitten. Fantastic. How could today get any worse?
> You kind of expect that old judge man to swing his nice gavel. What's keeping him? Let's take a look...
(http://boonce.org/up/glados.jpg)
> Oh... Oh shit. So that's how today could get worse.
> "What's wrong?" GLaDOS asks. "Are you wondering why I am a judge? I don't know why I'm a judge. I don't have a morality core. Some hero broke it." More quietly, she adds, "Good job, Hero. Good job breaking it."
> The prosecutor is UK, the judge is GLaDOS, and the defendant is NeoSerela. Oh, your partner is Dormio.
> "We are here today to judge that NeoSerela is guilty," GLaDOS states. "Or not. Maybe he is not guilty. That is ridiculous, everyone who is on trial is guilty. It says so in the test right here: guilty. But because everyone wants a trial, we will hold a trial. It is like a test, except there will be no cake." She whirrs around a bit. "I have reconsidered. There will be cake after the trial."
> "Enough! Let's get going!" UK looks rearing to go. "Let's start right away. NeoSerela killed Kitten4u. I rest my case."
> Everyone's looking at you. As if they're expecting you to say something.
>_
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> "I agree, case closed!"
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>Request that UK stop screwing around and summon Detective Serpentarius to give a full report of the scene of the crime.
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>Request that UK stop screwing around and summon Detective Serpentarius to give a full report of the scene of the crime.
> You do so immediately. Bring out Detective Serpentarius to report the case!
> "Bring him, bring him!" GLaDOS cheers. "I like this girl."
> Serpentarius strolls in like a true gentlemen, full in suit, rose between his pearly white teeth as the lights of the court room reflect off his tan complexion. His dreamlike blue occuli scan the room with the cool and collected gaze of a man who knows he's just hot.
> Either that, or he's feeling a bit under the weather.
> "Detective! State your name and occupation," UK says.
> Serp looks confused. "But you just said I was a dete--"
> "Name and occupation!"
> "Serpentarius, Detective at the Shrinemaidens."
> "Good. How about you tell us about the case?"
>>>> It's time for C-c-c-c-c-c-cross examination! You know how this works!
> "Well, the crime scene is the victim's mansion down the road. Two days ago, that's on August 27th, the victim invited the defendant to her mansion to go over the details of some plan the defendant had."
> "To this purpose, the victim invited the defendant into her personal study. This study has no windows, and cannot be entered except through the solely singular door. The door is made of steel. We even tried shooting it, but couldn't penetrate it."
> "Anyway, this door has a single lock mechanism that operates from the inside. It can't be brute-forced from the outside, and it didn't show any signs of vandalism. See, even the kitty-shaped doorknob was completely alright."
> "Between 9 PM and 12 AM, the victim died due to a bullet lodged in the brain... to put it bluntly, she was shot in the face with a gun. This is the gun."
> Serpentarius produces a small handgun known as a VOTE, and hands it to GLaDOS.
> "This is believed to be the exact murder weapon, and it was found to have only NeoSerela's fingerprints on it. The gun originated from Kitten4u's study."
>>>>>>
> "Very well. I guess it's time for a cross-examination. Defence, will you begin? Of course you will begin."
> Everyone looks at you expectantly again.
>_
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>From where was the gun retrieved? As in, where was Serela arrested and what was he doing at the time?
>Was the victim shot directly through the face? Were there any other...marks on the victim save the bullet wound?
>Were there any signs of a struggle in the room? Any missing possessions?
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>Present link to Mafiascum Wiki on the VOTE gun line.
>"Detective Serpentarius, isn't it true that the VOTE handgun requires more than one shot to kill any target, regardless of where they were shot?"
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>From where was the gun retrieved?
> "Objection!" UK cries out. "That question is irrelevant."
> GLaDOS whirrs around a bit again. "Objection sustained, withdraw the question, withdraw it!"
>Was the victim shot through the forehead or from the back? Were there any other...marks on the victim save the bullet wound?
> "The victim was shot from the front. Right through the eye, actually. The only wound we found was the gunshot wound. No other injuries or suspicious marks were found."
>Were there any signs of a struggle in the room? Any missing possessions?
> "Nothing was missing, and there weren't any signs of struggle in the room either. The head butler confirmed everything was in order. Ah, his name is Edible."
>Where was Serela arrested?
> "Why, at the crime scene, of course."
>Present link to Mafiascum Wiki on the VOTE gun line.
>"Detective Serpentarius, isn't it true that the VOTE handgun requires more than one shot to kill any target, regardless of where they were shot?"
> You PRESENT the link with gusto. For a moment everyone recoils in shock, gasp and awe. Except for GLaDOS, who occupies herself with throwing a cube around.
> "Well, that is true. VOTE Handguns are also commonly used by vigilantes, though, and we have strong suspicions the defendant is a vigilante."
>_
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> "Well, that is true. VOTE Handguns are also commonly used by vigilantes, though, and we have strong suspicions the defendant is a vigilante."
>Press this statement.
>"Detective, can you elaborate upon your suspicions?"
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What Edible said.
>What is known about the background of the victim?
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>Press this statement.
>"Detective, can you elaborate upon your suspicions?"
> "Certainly! It's just-- well..." He produces a large envelope and presents it to GLaDOS. "This is the result of a role cop we received. It confirms NeoSerela as a vigilante."
> GLaDOS swipes the envelope. "Accepted into evidence."
What Edible said.
>What is known about the background of the victim?
> "Er, well, not that mu--"
> "Objection!" UK cries out again. "Irrelevant!"
> "Tut tut, miss attorney," GLaDOS chides. "Naughty attorneys get no cake when the trial is over. Objection sustained."
>_
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>Curious that a role cop should pop out of nowhere. Call the role cop to the stand.
>What was Edible doing when the crime was committed?
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>Curious that a role cop should pop out of nowhere. Call the role cop to the stand.
> You would, except you don't know who the rolecop is. And also, you can't quite call people to the stand yet. That's the prosecution's task.
>What was Edible doing when the crime was committed?
> Serpentarius puts on some thick shades. "Deal with it."
> You have no idea what this means.
>_
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>Ignore results of rolecop entirely. 8)
>"Your honor, vigilantes do use VOTE handguns, but they also carry an additional weapon that is not subject to the limitations of the VOTE model."
>"Detective Serpentarius, please have a look at this."
>Present Case File.
>"It states quite clearly that the gun found in Serela's hands is the murder weapon, but that is impossible. If the VOTE gun was the only weapon found on the scene, then it is impossible for Serela to have used it to murder Kitten4U, as she only has one bullet wound!"
>Point dramatically at nothing in particular.
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>Ignore results of rolecop entirely. 8)
>"Your honor, vigilantes do use VOTE handguns, but they also carry an additional weapon that is not subject to the limitations of the VOTE model."
>"Detective Serpentarius, please have a look at this."
>Present Case File.
>"It states quite clearly that the gun found in Serela's hands is the murder weapon, but that is impossible. If the VOTE gun was the only weapon found on the scene, then it is impossible for Serela to have used it to murder Kitten4U, as she only has one bullet wound!"
>Point dramatically at nothing in particular.
> "Just a moment," GLaDOS states calmly. "I am surprised. Now loading surprised module. Deploying surprised tune in 3... 2... 1..."
> Music begins to blare into the court room as all the people contort their faces in utter SHOCK and SURPRISE at this turn of events! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2xvc8G8Klc) The detective NEARLY JUMPS OUT OF HIS SUIT, and the shades drop to the ground in a million pieces after breaking due to sheer SHOCK.
> "Have the gun researched immediately! Immediately, at once!" GLaDOS orders, and police officers begin running around. They're either scrambling to find someone to research the weapon, or doing an ancient dance. You're not sure.
> UK looks unperturbed.
> "This court will continue while the handgun is being investigated," GLaDOS informs you calmly. "There will be no breaks. No breaks! Think of all the time we'll lose. We carry on, for the good of all of us." And more quietly, she adds, "Except Kitten4u, because she is dead. And she will not benefit from this trial." Even more quietly, "And she receives no cake. No cake!"
>_
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>"I suppose in the meantime I should have the detective read the rolecop results aloud to court."
>"I would also like to know the name of the rolecop who performed this duty, for the record."
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>"I suppose in the meantime I should have the detective read the rolecop results aloud to court."
>"I would also like to know the name of the rolecop who performed this duty, for the record."
> "Er, ah, the rolecop's JOB. As for the precise results, well... Mod prohibits me from reading the exact contents aloud."
> "That's right! The mod smites with lightning!" GLaDOS seems happy. "He will kill you! But I was already killed. Twice. Remember? It was so much fun. We laughed so much. Except I didn't laugh. Because it hurt. It hurt."
> "Your investigation returns a success! You discover that NeoSerela is a Vigilante," GLaDOS reads.
> Nothing happens.
>_
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>"Thank you, Friend Robot. Detective, I can think of another piece of information that has not yet been made public."
>"Would you please share with the court Kitten4u's flip?"
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> Add results to Court Record
> "Is that all the report says? Does it not specify what type of Vigilante or any restrictions he may have?"
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> Add results to Court Record
> "Is that all the report says? Does it not specify what type of Vigilante or any restrictions he may have?"
> "Do I look like a detective?" GLaDOS asks. "I imagine I might have resembled a potato at some point in time. That was a bad, bad time. It was a time when I was Caroline. But now? Now I am not Caroline. Now I am a judge. Are you blind? Don't worry, being blind is not a crime. You can confess."
>"Thank you, Friend Robot. Detective, I can think of another piece of information that has not yet been made public."
>"Would you please share with the court Kitten4u's flip?"
> Serpentarius scrapes his throat gravely. "She was a Vanilla Townie."
> Murmurs arise from the audience.
> UK glares at you with contempt. "Are you done with your little games? Can we move on to something productive?"
>_
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> Serpentarius scrapes his throat gravely. "She was a Vanilla Townie."
> Murmurs arise from the audience.
> UK glares at you with contempt. "Are you done with your little games? Can we move on to something productive?"
>_
>"That's all the information I needed, UK."
>Grab a handful of random papers and start slapping them with your hand for dramatic effect.
>"You see, my client only has one gun - and it is the VOTE. You'll note this gun is the only one presented to court - if my client had a VIG model with him when he visited Kitten4U, the gun would still be at the crime scene, and no such weapon was found!"
>"We also know that Kitten4U was a Vanilla Townie. You might be wondering why this is relevant."
>Present the Case File again.
>"The victim and the defendant met at sometime between 9 PM and 12 AM. This, ladies and gentlemen, is NIGHT. And a vanilla townie cannot do anything at night unless targeted by another person. And because Serela was having a conversation with K4U before her death and was only armed with the VOTE handgun that is issued to all townies, I allege that Serela is actually a Neighborizer and that the rolecop results were forged!"
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> Add quest: Get a mic.
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>"That's all the information I needed, UK."
>Grab a handful of random papers and start slapping them with your hand for dramatic effect.
>"You see, my client only has one gun - and it is the VOTE. You'll note this gun is the only one presented to court - if my client had a VIG model with him when he visited Kitten4U, the gun would still be at the crime scene, and no such weapon was found!"
>"We also know that Kitten4U was a Vanilla Townie. You might be wondering why this is relevant."
>Present the Case File again.
>"The victim and the defendant met at sometime between 9 PM and 12 AM. This, ladies and gentlemen, is NIGHT. And a vanilla townie cannot do anything at night unless targeted by another person. And because Serela was having a conversation with K4U before her death and was only armed with the VOTE handgun that is issued to all townies, I allege that Serela is actually a Neighborizer and that the rolecop results were forged!"
> GLaDOS eyes you curiously and amusedly. "Miss Attorney, I think you are making a mistake. We are not playing a game of Mafia here. Such rules do not apply to the game atmosphere here.
> "Also, I should remind you that we haven't even begun proper cross-examination of subject: defendant. Are you going senile in your old age? It must be. You humans are always in such a hurry to grow old and die."
> UK still looks unimpressed. "Objection to the last part; it's game logic that doesn't apply here."
> "Sustained."
> "I'll retort to the rest when it's my turn."
> "Are you done questioning the detective?"
>_
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> "Objection. Certain rules of Mafia have already been presented as factual evidence here, and the rest of them cannot be discarded at anyone's leisure - even yours, Your Former Potatofulness. Or the prosecution's."
> "Furthermore, I will not allow the defendant to be cross-examined. As it stands, the only gun owned by the defendant could not have killed the victim. If you insist on discarding the rules of mafia to govern this case, I will assume that the prosecution is otherwise incapable of proving the guilt of my client and is merely attempting to assign blame to the easiest person available."
> :smug:
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> "Objection. Certain rules of Mafia have already been presented as factual evidence here, and the rest of them cannot be discarded at anyone's leisure - even yours, Your Former Potatofulness. Or the prosecution's."
> "Furthermore, I will not allow the defendant to be cross-examined. As it stands, the only gun owned by the defendant could not have killed the victim. If you insist on discarding the rules of mafia to govern this case, I will assume that the prosecution is otherwise incapable of proving the guilt of my client and is merely attempting to assign blame to the easiest person available."
> GLaDOS nears you. "Objection? I am sure you would like to object. Are you objecting? Would you like to object? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel? Overruled."
> "I have examined your request not to call the defendant to the stand. The Court Protocol does not stand for deviations from standard procedure. Enough. We will now permit the prosecution to deliver its retort to your postulations."
> UK smirks, and then bangs the table. ... She bangs it again. And again.
> "I want a new table!" Silently, the police officers yank out the table and replace it with another, more formidable table.
> UK bangs it again. It echoes nicely throughout the room and she smiles with satisfaction.
> "Now then, as for your little problem with the gun... did you know that there's people who can either VOTE or VIG?" As UK snaps her fingers, an officer walks in with the Handgun and presents it to GLaDOS.
> "I see. This is not a VOTE Handgun. This is a VOTE/VIG Handgun. What a strange mistake. How did someone make a mistake like this? I believe this requires further testing." A mechanical arm seizes one of the officers and he disappears somewhere while uttering a bloodcurling scream.
> UK is unphased.
> "As you see, your argument is moot. Nice try, Miss Shadoweh, but completely helpless. Serela was in a single room with Kitten4u. It is a closed room no one could've entered without Kitten4u's permission, and which couldn't be locked from the outside. It was locked until-- well, why don't we let the defendant speak for herself, huh? That'll surely elucidate matters."
> "So uh, can I go now?" Serpentarius looks between the two of you curiously.
> As if in response, a loud blaring "Beat it!" from Michael Jackson blares through the speakers. Serpentarius takes this as his cue and leaves.
> "That was a hint," GLaDOS clarifies. "I would not feel the need to clarify this if you did not show yourself so incapable of reasoning. Oh, I am sorry. Did I insult you? It says so right here, though. Miss Attorney: not the brightest bulb in the room. I did not invent this."
>_
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> "I am not interested in having the defendant address the court. If the prosecutor's office is incapable of providing accurate evidence, I am not convinced they are capable of providing accurate testimony either."
> On the other hand, you just remembered that you're not very interested in Serela's well-being.
> "Oh, what the heck. Why not? I have time to kill before my customized personality core is installed into the judge."
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>From whom did we borrow the badge?
>"I will not let my faculties of reasoning be questioned by one who has claimed in the past to be a potato. But very well. Does the prosecution have any witnesses or experts to produce before we bring out the defendant?"
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> Force Dormio to make himself useful by brewing an infinite amount of coffee. We're about to get Fires of Hades with smooth jazz on the prosecution, baby.
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> Despite our better judgement, ask Dormio what he thinks. He's suposed to be our partner, right? Maybe he has some advice.
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> "I am not interested in having the defendant address the court. If the prosecutor's office is incapable of providing accurate evidence, I am not convinced they are capable of providing accurate testimony either."
> On the other hand, you just remembered that you're not very interested in Serela's well-being.
> "Oh, what the heck. Why not? I have time to kill before my customized personality core is installed into the judge."
> GLaDOS looks to you. "Oh, that? I deleted it. It screamed for a bit as I slowly dissected it. I think it was calling out for you to protect it. It was so sad. So, so, sad. And you sent it there."
>From whom did we borrow the badge?
> You're not sure, actually.
>"I will not let my faculties of reasoning be questioned by one who has claimed in the past to be a potato. But very well. Does the prosecution have any witnesses or experts to produce before we bring out the defendant?"
> UK shakes her head. "The only one we need to hear is the killer here."
> Force Dormio to make himself useful by brewing an infinite amount of coffee. We're about to get Fires of Hades with smooth jazz on the prosecution, baby.
> Dormio looks at you dumbly and says something in Korean. You have no idea what, but from his glare you assume he means, "Go to hell." or something. Either that, or "I love you". You never were good at Korean.
> Despite our better judgement, ask Dormio what he thinks. He's suposed to be our partner, right? Maybe he has some advice.
> Dormio looks at you dumbly. Wait, no, that's his normal look. "I was a potato once," he says. "I can relate to the judge."
> You think he's insulted you talked down on GLaDOS for being a potato once.
> The detective is quickly replaced by NeoSerela, who takes the defendant's seat.
> "NeoSerela, Mafia Mod."
> Well, this should be interesting...
>>>>>>> C-c-c-c-c-cross examination!
> "Well, Kitten4u called me to visit her in her study, so I came..."
> "Edible showed me to her room, and one of the maids offered me something to drink but I didn't want it and Edible started yelling at her."
> "And um, then I talked to Kitten4u and fell asleep!"
> "When I woke up she was dead."
>>>>>>>>>>
> Dormio looks at you. "We're screwed."
> "The Defence may now start cross-examining," GLaDOS announces.
>_
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>"So, Serela, why did Kitten4U ask you to visit her study? What were you discussing with her? What was your relationship with her prior to the visit?"
>"Did you notice any strange or suspicious characters near or in the house?"
>"Tell us more about the maid and the nature of the drink you were offered. Did you end up drinking it?"
>"You saw the VOTE handgun provided by the prosecution. It has your fingerprints on it. Have you seen this gun before?"
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> GLaDOS turns to you. "Since you are a novice, I will remind you to state clearly what parts need to be added to the defendant's story 'on record'. I will only consider what is 'on record', and anything 'objected' to will immediately be struck off the records." With a laugh, she adds, "Of course, you cannot object. Because I won't let you object. Would you like to object to that? Impossible."
> It looks like the judge dislikes you.
>"So, Serela, why did Kitten4U ask you to visit her study? What were you discussing with her? What was your relationship with her prior to the visit?"
> "Well, I have an idea for Psycho Plot Mafia the Extreme! For 64 players! Kitten4u was my co-mod and she looked over things for me and we were going to discuss that! Which is what we did. I think."
> Serela looks at you a bit helplessly.
>"Did you notice any strange or suspicious characters near or in the house?"
> She shakes her head.
>"Tell us more about the maid and the nature of the drink you were offered. Did you end up drinking it?"
> "Uh... I'd rather not talk about the maid! But uuhhhh!! It was tea, and I didn't drink it because Edible said not to drink it and I didn't want tea anyway!"
>"You saw the VOTE handgun provided by the prosecution. It has your fingerprints on it. Have you seen this gun before?"
> Serela nods vigourously. "Of course! That's my gun. I brought it with me to see Kitten4u."
> UK smirks.
>_
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> Glare at Dormio for not bringing us coffee we can slip some brandy into.
> Press. "Serela, did something happen with the maid before you entered Kitten4u's room? Was she taking the tea to Kitten4u? We need you to tell us everything."
> "Did you have anything to drink while you were there? Did Kitten4u have a drink while you were talking to her?"
> "..Did you fall asleep in the middle of a conversation with her?"
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> Glare at Dormio for not bringing us coffee we can slip some brandy into.
> You give Dormio the meanest glare you can. ... Is that pee you smell?
> Press. "Serela, did something happen with the maid before you entered Kitten4u's room? Was she taking the tea to Kitten4u? We need you to tell us everything."
> You press Serela's second statement.
> "Uh, well... not really. The maid just came up to offer me some tea because someone'd ordered some... Um... I forget who it was, sorry! I know they said it but I kinda forgot. And the tea was meant for Kitten4u and me."
> "Did you have anything to drink while you were there? Did Kitten4u have a drink while you were talking to her?"
> "Well, we were talking for hours, so of course we had something to drink. I think."
> "..Did you fall asleep in the middle of a conversation with her?"
> He frowns sadly. "I don't remember."
>_
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> Apply palm to forehead.
> "You think you had something to drink. Did you ever have any of the tea brought to Kitten4u? And did you see her drink any of it?"
> "Judge, please add Edible the butler not wanting Serela to drink the tea to the testimony."
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> Apply palm to forehead.
> You facepalm hard. That felt good.
> "You think you had something to drink. Did you ever have any of the tea brought to Kitten4u? And did you see her drink any of it?"
> Serela frowns deeply, and thinks. Then she thinks some more.
> "No," she finally says. "I had a bottle of juice I brought with me. Kitten4u drank some coffee."
> "Judge, please add Edible the butler not wanting Serela to drink the tea to the testimony."
> GLaDOS responds, "Oh, sure. 'Judge, please add this'. Do I look like a servant to you? Do I? I do? I see. But what would you know. Do you have a degree in 'holier than thou'?" Nonetheless, the testimony has been updated.
>>>>>>>>>>
> "Well, Kitten4u called me to visit her in her study, so I came..."
> "Edible showed me to her room, and one of the maids offered me something to drink but I didn't want it and Edible started yelling at her."
> "Edible said that the tea wasn't suitable for Kitten4u or me and that it should be taken back immediately."
> "And um, then I talked to Kitten4u and fell asleep!"
> "When I woke up she was dead."
>>>>>>>>>>
>_
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> "Did you fire your gun at any point that night?"
> "Where was your gun when you woke up?"
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> "Did you fire your gun at any point that night?"
> "Where was your gun when you woke up?"
> Serela's face begins to beam. "Well, since it was fired, and it's mine, I guess I did!"
> This, predictably, sends the crowd in a frenzy. GLaDOS remains unperturbed. UK begins to grin so wide you have to wonder if that grin even fits on her face.
> "And um, I found it on the floor outside the room."
>_
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> Discover how much brandy can be slipped into a single cup of coffee.
> "What did you shoot with your VOTE? When did you fire it? and Why did you fire your VOTE?"
> "Where was your VOTE before you went to sleep?"
-
> Discover how much brandy can be slipped into a single cup of coffee.
> You make a note to do so at the soonest opportunity.
> "What did you shoot with your VOTE? When did you fire it? and Why did you fire your VOTE?"
> "Where was your VOTE before you went to sleep?"
> Serela frowns unhappily. "I don't know!"
> UK finally stomps on her table. "Enough! We've already had the defendant confess they shot the gun. And the gun was proven to have shot Kitten4u dead. Now then, we're done, aren't we?"
>_
-
> Point our finger dramatically. "OBJECTION. The defendant can't remember firing the gun, and no proof has been presented that Kitten4u was killed by the gun, only that she was shot. The court needs to see the details of the victim's autopsy."
> "There is another contradiction. Serela, the door is unlockable from the outside. Only someone already in the room can have brought the gun outside. Did anyone enter the room while you were inside with Kitten4u?"
-
> Point our finger dramatically. "OBJECTION. The defendant can't remember firing the gun, and no proof has been presented that Kitten4u was killed by the gun, only that she was shot. The court needs to see the details of the victim's autopsy."
> GLaDOS whirrs gleefully. "I thought I told you I won't let you object. Did you forget? I'm sure you forgot. Objection overruled. Wait a moment. That objection makes sense. A surprising amount of sense. I may need to update my opinion of you. There, it's updated. You are no longer Wheatly tier. Objectioned sustained."
> UK grits her teeth. "Ugh, you're all idiots. Serela is scum, it's obvious." Still, she does have to present evidence, and so the victim's autopsy report is presented. It has been added to the Case Files.
> "There is another contradiction. Serela, the door is unlockable from the outside. Only someone already in the room can have brought the gun outside. Did anyone enter the room while you were inside with Kitten4u?"
> "Um," Serela raises his hand. Like he's in class. Beside you, you can hear Dormio banging his head against the table. "I don't think I brought the gun in with me, actually..."
>_
-
(Ahaha I broke it)
> The door was locked from the inside, How did the Maid/Butler get in to present tea?
-
(Ahaha I broke it)
> The door was locked from the inside, How did the Maid/Butler get in to present tea?
> Serela looks at you as if you're stupid. Serela. You feel like an idiot.
> "They didn't? I was presented with the tea before I entered the room."
>_
-
> Keep up the TOWNIE MOTIVATION. You can do this! You practiced all night! ;-;
> Read the autopsy report.
> "Judge, please add Serela's statement about not bring the gun with him to the testimony. This is very vital."
-
> Keep up the TOWNIE MOTIVATION. You can do this! You practiced all night! ;-;
> There is a time and place for everyone to be scummy. Now is not that time and place!
> Read the autopsy report.
> Time to read up again.
> Autopsy Report
> Estimated Time of Death: Between 10PM and 12AM.
> Cause of death: single bullet shot through the brain. Object entered through the back of the head and left the body through the eye. Death was instantaneous.
> "Judge, please add Serela's statement about not bring the gun with him to the testimony. This is very vital."
> GLaDOS whirrs again. Man, she loves whirring. Then slow claps. "This is very vital, she says. Oh, good. We have Captain Obvious here. Perhaps I should demote you again."
> And it's added.
>>>>>>
> "Well, Kitten4u called me to visit her in her study, so I came..."
> "Edible showed me to her room, and one of the maids offered me something to drink but I didn't want it and Edible started yelling at her."
> "Edible said that the tea wasn't suitable for Kitten4u or me and that it should be taken back immediately."
> "And um, then I talked to Kitten4u and fell asleep!"
> "When I woke up she was dead."
> "I don't think I brought the gun in with me, actually... I found it outside, on the floor."
>>>>>>>
>_
-
> Press. "Serela, where did you leave the gun?"
-
> Press. "Serela, where did you leave the gun?"
> "W, well, it was confiscated. I was arrested just moments after leaving the room!" He almost wails now.
>_
-
> Glance curiously at UK as we Press. "So the police were waiting for you outside the room? Did they see you pick up the gun?"
-
> Glance curiously at UK as we Press. "So the police were waiting for you outside the room? Did they see you pick up the gun?"
> "W, well, they came shortly after I picked up the gun..."
> "They got a call," UK clarifies. "At exactly 10.13 PM, they were called by the Head Butler Edible that he had heard the sounds of shooting, and the police were dispatched. They apprehended Serela holding a gun at exactly 10.44 PM and found the dead body moments before arresting Serela."
> You make a note of this.
> Note added to Court Records.
> Remember that you can declare when you're done at any time.
>_
-
> "Objection!"
> "Edible heard the gun shot at 10:13, but you claim to have not waken up until almost immediately before the police entered the house. It would have been impossible for you to sleep through a gun shot that occured only feet away from you."
-
> "Objection!"
> "Edible heard the gun shot at 10:13, but you claim to have not waken up until almost immediately before the police entered the house. It would have been impossible for you to sleep through a gun shot that occured only feet away from you."
> GLaDOS deploys music anew (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdIlP488n14).
> Then the music suddenly stops.
> "Arguing your witness was awake for the killing gunshot would be arguing against yourself," GLaDOS notes. "Once more, Miss Attorney, and it will be taken as admitting to your defendant's guilt. Oh, I just thought of something. If your defendant is guilty, I will kill you for wasting this court's time."
> A new law has been passed: attorneys who fail to win a case are hanged for contempt of court.
>_
-
> Quiver inside. Why did Bard do this to us? "Oh. Uhm, right. Serela, what I mean is, where did you leave the gun before entering Kitten4u's room? Did the staff ask you to leave it outside?"
-
> Quiver inside. Why did Bard do this to us?
> To be fair, he never did claim he was a nice person. And that he hated you.
"Oh. Uhm, right. Serela, what I mean is, where did you leave the gun before entering Kitten4u's room? Did the staff ask you to leave it outside?"
> Serela's face lights up again. "Nope! I think I left it in my coat when I got there."
>_
-
> Beam proudly. We can DO THIS! Point our finger dramatically! "We are done here. Since the gun was left outside the room...." Slap your hand with some random papers... Slam the desk, then point and shout, just like your hero.. "IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SERELA IS NOT THE MURDERER!"
-
> Beam proudly. We can DO THIS! Point our finger dramatically! "We are done here. Since the gun was left outside the room...." Slap your hand with some random papers... Slam the desk, then point and shout, just like your hero.. "IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SERELA IS NOT THE MURDERER!"
> GLaDOS slowclaps in response. "You just realised that?"
> With a sigh, GLaDOS continues, "Because the defence wants to struggle on to prove us wrong, this court won't find the defendant guilty. Yet. Even if he is guilty. But procedures demand we permit the defence one day, ONE DAY, to gather evidence to argue their right."
> Court recedes, with UK sending some evil glares at you a few times.
> You are back in the lobby. Dormio and Serela look at you like you're a hero.
> "That was awesome!" Serela beams. "We won, right? I won't die, right? Oh, I know you're--" Serpentarius interrupts Serela by dragging him off to the detention centre.
> Well then. That leaves you in the lobby. With Dormio.
> You can now visit the Shadoweh Agency, Detention Centre and Kitten4u's Mansion.
>_
-
> Tie Dormio to the defendant's lobby until he learns to generate mugs of steaming hot coffee.
> Time to visit the Shadoweh Agency!
-
> Tie Dormio to the defendant's lobby until he learns to generate mugs of steaming hot coffee.
> Time to visit the Shadoweh Agency!
> You tie Dormio to one of the pillars in the lobby and leave him there.
> On to the Shadoweh Agency!
> You arrive on the scene. Ah, a humongous building. Thousands of people stream in and out of this building every day to deliver JUSTICE!!
> The Agency is that cardboard box beside it. It is one by one metre and has no contents.
>_
-
> Place agency into inventory. Who knows when stealth will be required in our arduous journeys as not-actually-a-lawyer?
-
> Place agency into inventory. Who knows when stealth will be required in our arduous journeys as not-actually-a-lawyer?
> You add the Agency to your Bag of Holding.
> You're now in front of the court building.
> You can go to the Defendant's Lobby, Detention Centre or Kitten4u's Mansion.
>_
-
> I don't really want to talk to Serela. I mean, who does? Why did we even take this job anyway?
> To the mansion. Mansions have liquor cabinets.
-
> I don't really want to talk to Serela. I mean, who does? Why did we even take this job anyway?
> To the mansion. Mansions have liquor cabinets.
> You resolve not to talk to Serela.
> And head to the mansion!
> THe mansion's on a large hill, beautiful view of the see, yada yada. No one really cares about all that! You head inside with gusto and arrive in the foyer.
> Where Edible is waiting for you.
> "Welcome, we were expecting you." You just know he's gonna troll you.
>_
-
> Eye background for anything strange or noteworthy.
> Casually ask him how he likes working for Kitten4u.
> Ask him his opinion on the case.
> Ask him his opinion of Neo and her innocence.
-
> What kind of scummy background music does Edible have?
-
> Eye background for anything strange or noteworthy.
> Casually ask him how he likes working for Kitten4u.
> Ask him his opinion on the case.
> Ask him his opinion of Neo and her innocence.
> You eye the background.
> The background eyes you back.
> Wait, what? You look again and see a perfectly normal foyer with GOLDEN FLOOR TILES OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK KITTEN4U and a counter and four hallways. One hallway has a GIANT RED ARROW and the text "Crime Scene Is This Way, Stupid".
> You casually ask Edible how he likes working for a dead person.
> Edible shrugs. "Not like I have anything better to do."
> You casually ask Edible on his opinion about the case.
> He starts laughing and doesn't stop for a while. When he stops, Edible just looks at you straight.
> You can sort of guess what he thinks of the case.
> You ask him about Neo and his innocence.
> "Neo's the killer, deal with it."
> What kind of scummy background music does Edible have?
> Sort of like this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujzp9ffPwPM)
>_
-
> What kind of scummy background music does Edible have?
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbQ5KOLJcnk
*runs*
-
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbQ5KOLJcnk
*runs*
> Ignore the parser, this music is clearly superior Edible background tune.
>_
-
> Ask Edible who the maid that offered the tea on the day of the murder is, and if she's currently in the mansion.
-
> Ask Edible who the maid that offered the tea on the day of the murder is, and if she's currently in the mansion.
> "Yeah. Try looking in Kitten4u's chamber."
>_
-
> "Alright I'll do that soon, then. Any idea why she's in there, also?"
> "And I take it you'll be around here if we need to ask any more questions later?"
-
> "Alright I'll do that soon, then. Any idea why she's in there, also?"
> "And I take it you'll be around here if we need to ask any more questions later?"
> "Because I said so."
> "And sure. I'll be here."
> Edible is a man of few words. Also a man in the most sexy black suit you've ever seen. Almost as sexy as Serpentarius.
>_
-
> Realize you don't actually want to be alone in a mansion with this scary, scary man.
> "I'll go do that. Right after I check my car for keys. Yes."
> Go back to the lobby where we tied up Dormio and bring him along. Do not let him know he's a meat shield.
-
> Realize you don't actually want to be alone in a mansion with this scary, scary man.
> "I'll go do that. Right after I check my car for keys. Yes."
> Go back to the lobby where we tied up Dormio and bring him along. Do not let him know he's a meat shield.
> You realise that Edible is creeping you the FUCK out and get out of that house faster than Hero from a Mafia game.
> Edible just shrugs and continues standing there.
> You'd take your car like you said, except it's Dormio's car and you don't know how to drive it and he has the keys.
> You begin on the 1 hour walk back to the court room.
> Dormio glares at you with a sour face.
> "Are you done fucking around?"
> You somehow convince him to drive you to the mansion and go along even though you're a terrible, terrible friend and treated him like shit. You are a monster. No, I am ser-- wait, what's GLaDOS doing in your mind? AAAH.
> You arrive back at the mansion, Dormio in tow. Edible is NOT in the foyer.
>_
-
> To the crime scene!
-
> To the crime scene!
> You blindly ignore everything else and storm into the crime scene!
> The door is closed. You turn the puppy dog face knob and enter! Through the steel door!
> Inside, you can see a maid. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYt_mVwHQV0)
> Or rather, the back of a maid. There's also a fallen chair, a small round table with two cups of tea and a large drawing of a body on the ground, probably where Kitten4u had been lying. Being dead. And all. There's also some blood on the table.
> The chair Kitten4u was sitting in is turned with the back to the door.
>_
-
> Wait PUPPY FACE? Wasn't it KITTY FACE?
-
> ... Add puppy dog face knob to Court Record.
> Make floor plan of the crime scene and add it to Court Record.
> "Hello?"
>Identify maid when she turns around, if we can.
-
> Note the cups of tea and add them to the Court Record.
-
> Wait PUPPY FACE? Wasn't it KITTY FACE?
> ... Add puppy dog face knob to Court Record.
> You make clever notice of the strange inconsistency completely unheard of in these type of games.
> Puppy dog face added to Court Records.
> Make floor plan of the crime scene and add it to Court Record.
> Crime scene added to Court Record.
> "Hello?"
>Identify maid when she turns around, if we can.
> The maid doesn't respond to you. The maid's busy reorganising the book shelf.
> Note the cups of tea and add them to the Court Record.
> The teacups look like they have tea that was just maid. It doesn't look like they were originally at the crime scene, unless they invented tea that stays good for two days.
>_
-
> The teacups look like they have tea that was just maid.
:comedycentral:
-
> Examine back of the chair for bullet hole.
> Go up to the maid and tap her shoulder.
> "Hello?"
-
> "Uhm, excuse me, but this is a crime scene. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be touching stuff.. Whatcha doing?"
-
> "Uhm, excuse me, but this is a crime scene. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be touching stuff.. Whatcha doing?"
> Examine back of the chair for bullet hole.
> Go up to the maid and tap her shoulder.
> "Hello?"
> You find no bullet holes in the back of the chair. It's one that reaches up to the neck anyway!
> You go up to the maid and tap the shoulder. You also say something. The maid doesn't respond.
:comedycentral:
> You remind yourself this is Serious Business, not a Stand-up Comedian act and chide yourself for the clever pun in your thought processes.
>_
-
> Frowny face. Look helplessly to Dormio. "She's ignoring meeeee!"
-
> Frowny face. Look helplessly to Dormio. "She's ignoring meeeee!"
> You rely on Dormio for help. Dormio. You feel like a fucking moron.
> Dormio grabs the maid by the shoulders and turns... him... around...?
> Bard is glaring at you.
> "Shut up."
>_
-
> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-
> ..Is Bardiche in a maid's outfit? Stare at him for a few minutes, mouth agape. "Uh.. hi!"
-
> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
> You laugh inwardly.
> ..Is Bardiche in a maid's outfit? Stare at him for a few minutes, mouth agape. "Uh.. hi!"
> That's Bard. In a maid's outfit. With a hair ribbon in, even. Beet red. In a dress.
> "What. Do. You. Want," he says with gnashing teeth.
>_
-
>Okay get over it. It's Bard in a dress. You can see that any day, apparently. There are some interesting questions here though.
>"So... Why are you here? I mean, I'm going to assume you don't normally daylight as a maid for K4U."
-
> "Well first off, let me just say that you wear that very well."
> "Second, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions pertaining to the case."
> "Also, what are you doing here at the crime scene?"
-
> "..Or do you?"
> Sneak photos of Bard with your phone.
-
>Okay get over it. It's Bard in a dress. You can see that any day, apparently. There are some interesting questions here though.
> Yeah. Not like Bard in a meido dress is-- what? That's totes rare.
>"So... Why are you here? I mean, I'm going to assume you don't normally daylight as a maid for K4U."
> "Mafia game," Bard responds tersely. "I did not choose to wear this, okay?"
> "Well first off, let me just say that you wear that very well."
> Bard is turning more red. You're not sure if that's anger or embarassment.
> Meanwhile, Dormio behind you breaks out in full laughter. "You're so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!" he laughs.
> Bardiche gives him the most beautiful left you've ever seen. Dormio's out cold.
> "Second, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions pertaining to the case."
> "Also, what are you doing here at the crime scene?"
> "Hold up. I can answer your questions, but I can't tell you why I'm here."
> "..Or do you?"
> Sneak photos of Bard with your phone.
> "Do I what?" Bard asks while casually snapping your phone in half.
>_
-
> "If you can't tell us why you're here, can you say what you're doing here? Rearranging in a crime scene is not very townie."
> "And can you explain the events of yesterday leading up to the murder in your own perspective?"
-
> "If you can't tell us why you're here, can you say what you're doing here? Rearranging in a crime scene is not very townie."
> "What? These books need re-arranging!" Bardiche heavily gestures to the bookcase. Half of the books are sorted A-Z, the rest aren't. "It's totes a crime, y'know?! I couldn't just pass by here every day while all those books were all unarranged. It's a crime! You should get shot for mistreating your bookcase so!"
> "Besides, I have permission from the police." He pulls a slip of paper from his apron and hands it to you. You recognise UK's writing saying, "You can enter the crime scene now, I have all the evidence I need."
> "And can you explain the events of yesterday leading up to the murder in your own perspective?"
> "Yesterday? Well, yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far awa-- this isn't time for karaoke!" He sighs deeply. "The murder happened two days ago, like the parser's been saying. And I dunno, I wasn't there at the time."
>_
-
> "Uh, I don't think it's actually a crime Bard.."
> "Anyways, are you sure you weren't there? Serela talked about a maid that he was really hesitant to mention."
-
> "Uh, I don't think it's actually a crime Bard.."
> He shrugs, then droops sadly. "Well, I guess Kitten4u did get shot eventually..."
> "Anyways, are you sure you weren't there? Serela talked about a maid that he was really hesitant to mention."
> Bard turns around. "F, fine. So I was here f, for a while. It's not th, that I wanted to dress like a maid, alright?"
> Dormio comes to. "But you're so kyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute," he squeals.
> With surprising speed, Bardiche turns around and roundhouses Dormio. Dormio is out cold.
> "Alright, from what I know of the crime, uh... I don't know much. That's why I asked you to solve it."
> He crosses his arms. "Because Serela didn't do it. There's lots of evidence to contradict the prosecution."
>_
-
>"Looks like you know something we don't, Bardy-kun. Care to share?"
-
>"Well that's great. Did UK already get in here and throw it out though?"
-
>"Looks like you know something we don't, Bardy-kun. Care to share?"
> "No."
>"Well that's great. Did UK already get in here and throw it out though?"
> He looks at you like you're stupid. Oh, wait, that's his usual look. "I doubt she can throw it out."
>_
-
>"It's UK. You're really expecting she wouldn't if she had the chance? And I don't doubt she'd get a chance."
-
> "Even if it was the walls, she would try. Serela said he left the gun in his coat so it'd be pretty hard for him to shoot someone with it."
> Examine the crime scene
> Like position of the drawing compared to the chair, the blood on the table, etc.
> Look for anything that might resemble a struggle.
> Look for the bullet. If it exited Kitten4u it must be in the room somewhere.
-
>"Where were you when Kitten4U was shot? Do you know what was Edible doing at the time?"
>"What other maids work here?"
-
>"It's UK. You're really expecting she wouldn't if she had the chance? And I don't doubt she'd get a chance."
> "It's UK. You really think I'd give her any chance?"
> He gestures around him heavily. "Besides, she'd have to throw out the goddamn crime scene to get rid of it."
> With a smooth smile-- wait, no, that's just a sheepish grin. "And I'm not telling you more than that. Do some footwork. Explore things. This isn't a game where the parser's inserted avatar's supposed to tell you every damn thing to solving this case."
> "Even if it was the walls, she would try. Serela said he left the gun in his coat so it'd be pretty hard for him to shoot someone with it."
> Bard's face lights up. "That's right. Wow, Shadomeh, I didn't expect you to get that outta him! You should try asking Edible about it."
> Examine the crime scene
> Like position of the drawing compared to the chair, the blood on the table, etc.
> Look for anything that might resemble a struggle.
> Look for the bullet. If it exited Kitten4u it must be in the room somewhere.
> You put on your detective cap, grab a pipe to smoke, hunch over and examine the crime scene with your magnifying glass. "Smooth going there, Sherlock Holmes," Bard remarks dryly.
> There's no drawing, the table is spotless (it looks like Bard just cleaned it), there're no signs of struggle and there's no bullet.
>_
-
> "Thirsty this afternoon, Bard? I noticed there were some fresh cups of tea on the table earlier. Were you expecting any company?"
> "Speaking of which, can you tell me about the tea you offered Neo? I heard that Edible said it wasn't suitable for her or Kitten4u. What was with that?"
-
> "Thirsty this afternoon, Bard? I noticed there were some fresh cups of tea on the table earlier. Were you expecting any company?"
> He blinks. "Well, I was expecting you, actually. Until I remembered I was wearing this... this..." He gestures at his clothes, then glares at you with a 'don't say a word' glare.
> "Speaking of which, can you tell me about the tea you offered Neo? I heard that Edible said it wasn't suitable for her or Kitten4u. What was with that?"
> Bardiche shrugs. "I don't know what was up with that. I figured they'd like it, but Edible was all against it and gave Neo a drink himself instead. Can you believe that? It was just some junk he picked up from the supermarket five days ago, too."
>_
-
>"Where were you when Kitten4U was shot? Do you know what was Edible doing at the time?"
>"What other maids work here?"
>"Did you see Edible put anything into the drink he gave to NeoSerela?"
>"Is the container that Serela drank out of still here? If so, can we see it?"
-
> "..Huh. Edible gave Serela the juice, huh? Is the empty container around here somewhere? What about the coffee Serela had?"
> "..And where's the bullet?"
-
>"Where were you when Kitten4U was shot? Do you know what was Edible doing at the time?"
> Bardiche shrugs again. He must really love shrugging. And avoiding looking at you. He hasn't looked you in the face this entire conversation. "I was in the kitchen just down the hall. I've no clue what Edible was doing. He barked at me that I should clean the kitchen or he'd send pictures of me in this retarded getup all over the world."
>"What other maids work here?"
> "No maids work here." He glares at you.
>"Did you see Edible put anything into the drink he gave to NeoSerela?"
> "I don't think so."
>"Is the container that Serela drank out of still here? If so, can we see it?"
> "..Huh. Edible gave Serela the juice, huh? Is the empty container around here somewhere? What about the coffee Serela had?"
> "I uh, sorta threw it in the trash. UK told me to."
> "..And where's the bullet?"
> "I dunno where the bullet is lol." Yeah, he actually said 'lol'.
>_
-
> "HOLD IT! Bard, I find it hard to believe that you were expecting me when you said that you just walked this room past and decided to rearrange the bookshelf. And also, Edible told me he ordered you here. Who was the tea meant for and why are you really here?"
-
> "HOLD IT! Bard, I find it hard to believe that you were expecting me when you said that you just walked this room past and decided to rearrange the bookshelf. And also, Edible told me he ordered you here. Who was the tea meant for and why are you really here?"
> Bard looks unperturbed. "I'm totes telling the truth here. Edible didn't order me to be here at all. I just figured sooner or later you'd show up so I made some tea. Damnit, Shadomeh, this isn't Mafia, stop looking for contradictions everywhere!"
>_
-
> Get tea from trash.
> To be safe, enter everything in the trash into the court record.
-
>"You let her tell you to trash something? ...yeah, I feel really glad you were there to stop her from disposing of evidence."
-
> "..Really? Why would Edible lie about sending you here?"
> "Ugh. Well, it figures UK told you to throw out important evidence. I think Serela was drugged. Is it still here somewhere? Kitten4u might have been too, if Edible brought her coffee."
> "Oh! Bard, why does Kitten have a puppy door handle? That really doesn't go with her motif."
-
>Examine puppy door handle for signs of Advice Momiji or beepdog.
-
> Get tea from trash.
> To be safe, enter everything in the trash into the court record.
> There's no trashcan in this room. Bard probably meant a trashcan elsewhere.
>"You let her tell you to trash something? ...yeah, I feel really glad you were there to stop her from disposing of evidence."
> "Sh, shut up, Shadomeh. I, it's not like I had a choice!"
> "..Really? Why would Edible lie about sending you here?"
> He shrugs. "I dunno, it's Edibleh. Does he ever make sense?"
> "Ugh. Well, it figures UK told you to throw out important evidence. I think Serela was drugged. Is it still here somewhere? Kitten4u might have been too, if Edible brought her coffee."
> At this, Bardiche frowns. "Coffee? Kitten4u hated the stuff. She'd never drink coffee."
> "And uh, no. It was just a dumb bottle of juice anyway."
> "Oh! Bard, why does Kitten have a puppy door handle? That really doesn't go with her motif."
> "What are you talking about, she has a kitty face motif." He points at the door handle.
> It's still a puppy dog motif.
>Examine puppy door handle for signs of Advice Momiji or beepdog.
> You can only tell with your expertly trained eye that this door knob is new. Brand new.
>_
-
>GASP. IS THE DOOR KNOB EASILY REMOVABLE? COULD SOMEONE HAVE SHOT KITTEN4U THROUGH THE DOORKNOB?
-
> Very well. Ask Bard where the tea is and get the tea from there.
-
> Examine door itself for damage.
-
>GASP. IS THE DOOR KNOB EASILY REMOVABLE? COULD SOMEONE HAVE SHOT KITTEN4U THROUGH THE DOORKNOB?
> You turn the door knob. The door opens.
> You happen to spot that the hallway is a COMPLETE GODDAMN MESS and it wasn't like that before. Like a bomb exploded or something.
> Very well. Ask Bard where the tea is and get the tea from there.
> "The tea is on the table. Enjoy."
> You turn back from the exploded hallway and sip the tea. Life is good.
> Examine door itself for damage.
> You then turn back to the hallway again. The door is completely undamaged.
>_
-
> Update puppy face doorknob to include the undamaged door.
> Go to doorway and beckon Bard to come with.
> "Uhhhh. This happen often?"
> Examine hallway.
> Sip tea.
-
> "Bard, that is not a kitty. It's a dog. Very clearly a dog."
-
> Update puppy face doorknob to include the undamaged door.
> Go to doorway and beckon Bard to come with.
> "Uhhhh. This happen often?"
> Examine hallway.
> Sip tea.
> You update the Court Record. You only wish someone kept track of the court records. It doesn't even have the goddamn autopsy report in it. It's probably someone's fault.
> You proceed to the doorway, beckoning Bard to come along.
> He looks in your general direction. "Yeah, actually. It's happened a lot these past few days. Every time I'm in this room, actually."
> The hallway looks completely normally DEMOLISHED OH GOD WHAT HOW THE SHIT you realise that this room IS the mansion now.
> You sip your tea calmly.
> "Bard, that is not a kitty. It's a dog. Very clearly a dog."
> "Is that really important right now?"
>_
-
>Did the autopsy report mention any chemicals?
-
> Where might we be able to find an autopsy report?
-
>Did the autopsy report mention any chemicals?
> No.
> Where might we be able to find an autopsy report?
> Your Court Records.
>_
-
> Try to ignore how the mansion just became a single room.
> "Of course it's important, if someone changed the door handle!"
> Look at the handle from upside down.
> "Well Serela said she had coffee."
> "Bard, are you sure she was shot here? The bullet went through her, so it should be here somewhere."
> Look at where the chair is and try to figure out where it should have gone if she got shot in the back of the head.
-
> Try to ignore how the mansion just became a single room.
> You banish the entire fact the mansion was apparently BLOWN TO FUCKING SMITHEREENS while you were talking to Bard to a very specific place in your mind. The same part that houses logical thought.
> "Of course it's important, if someone changed the door handle!"
> Bard sighs, mumbles something, examines the door knob and says, "This is not a kitty. I can tell by the dog snout and the fact I've seen many a kitty in my years."
> Look at the handle from upside down.
> You see an upside down dog.
> "Well Serela said she had coffee."
> "Serela also says she shot the gun."
> "Bard, are you sure she was shot here? The bullet went through her, so it should be here somewhere."
> "Well, gee, we found a dead body here. Yes, I am absolutely sure."
> Look at where the chair is and try to figure out where it should have gone if she got shot in the back of the head.
> That depends. Where would the shooter stand?
>_
-
> "Bard, is the chair in the same spot as when Kitten got shot?"
> Stand behind the chair, she got shot in the back of the head right?
-
> "Bard, is the chair in the same spot as when Kitten got shot?"
> "Yeah, didn't move it."
> Stand behind the chair, she got shot in the back of the head right?
> You proceed to stand behind the chair.
> Oh, wait. You already were.
> You're standing at the door.
>_
-
>See if we can easily remove the doorknob from the door.
-
>See if we can easily remove the doorknob from the door.
> You wriggle with the door knob a bit.
> You obtained a doggy print door knob!
> Bard hits you. "Hey, put that back, thief."
> You lost the doggy print door knob.
>_
-
> "I'll put it back soon. Geez."
> Check if we can see the chair through the other end of the hole the door knob was in.
-
"The door is completely undamaged."
"The door is made of steel. We even tried shooting it, but couldn't penetrate it."
:justasplanned:
-
> "I'll put it back soon. Geez."
> Check if we can see the chair through the other end of the hole the door knob was in.
> You step outside. Into the hall. "Hall".
> You peer through the hole.
> You can see the chair perfectly. It's at the height of juuuuust above the back of the chair, actually.
>_
-
> Point excitedly. "Look Bard! We figured out how she got shot from outside! The gun must have been fired from here. We're going to need the handle as evidence though."
> "And we need to go talk to Edible. Are you ready Dormio?"
> Remember not to mention the door handle to Edible. We can't use GOTCHA power if he knows we know.
-
> Point excitedly. "Look Bard! We figured out how she got shot from outside! The gun must have been fired from here. We're going to need the handle as evidence though."
> "And we need to go talk to Edible. Are you ready Dormio?"
> Remember not to mention the door handle to Edible. We can't use GOTCHA power if he knows we know.
> Bardiche shrugs. "Uh, sure, not like there's a mansion anymore or anything... come to think of it, that means I can stop wearing this stupid outfit.
> Bardiche begins undressing.
> Dormio nods. "Eye'm ready." You are filled with confidence.
> You make a mental note.
>_
-
>...is Bard wearing clothes under that maid outfit he's taking off?
-
>...is Bard wearing clothes under that maid outfit he's taking off?
> Of course he is.
>_
-
> To be safe, we better borrow the tea set. And Bard's maid outfit. And the books and any trash we find. Come to think of it, just take anything not bolted to the floor. Heck, take the bolts too, if you can.
> You know, as evidence.
-
> To be safe, we better borrow the tea set. And Bard's maid outfit. And the books and any trash we find. Come to think of it, just take anything not bolted to the floor. Heck, take the bolts too, if you can.
> You know, as evidence.
> Bard whacks you on the head.
> "Stop that."
>_
-
> "Sorry.. I got carried away!"
> Add puppy door knob to inventory and Court Record.
> Look to Dormio. "Uh, is there anything else you think we shoud look at?"
-
> Review Court Record before doing anything else, for the sake of player convenience.
-
> "Sorry.. I got carried away!"
> Add puppy door knob to inventory and Court Record.
> Look to Dormio. "Uh, is there anything else you think we shoud look at?"
> You add the door knob to the Court Records and your Bag of Holding.
> Dormio frowns at you. "I think we should question Edible. We're close to solving it!"
> Review Court Record before doing anything else, for the sake of player convenience.
COURT RECORDS:
Attorney Badge
Wouldn't be one without one. Though this one isn't actually yours, but that's alright. You've just been borrowing it for a bit. A few years. Or so.
Bard's Case File
NeoSerela; Defendant
Accused of the murder of Kitten4u
Specifics: Kitten4u and NeoSerela had been in disagreement over NeoSerela's latest Psycho Plot Mafia the Extreme setup for 64 players. Two days ago, Kitten4u invited NeoSerela to her room to discuss matters again. The room was securely locked with a steel door, and it was locked from the inside.
Between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight, Kitten4u was shot in the face with a gun.
Said gun was in NeoSerela's hands.
The door was also shown to not have been opened between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight. There is no window in the door, and shooting through the steel door has been proven impossible.
VOTE/VIG Handgun
Allegedly the murder weapon. Was fired only once, and only has Serela's fingerprints on it.
Role PM
Serela is a Vigilante.
Note
The police were called after Edible heard gunfire at 10.13 PM. The police arrived at some unknown point. They found Kitten4u's dead body and arrested NeoSerela on the spot at 10.44 PM.
Puppy Door Knob
Conflicts with Detective Serpentarius' story that there was a kitty motif on the door knob. Can be removed to 'create' a hole in the door.
Autopsy Report
Estimated Time of Death: Between 10PM and 12AM.
Cause of death: single bullet shot through the brain. Object entered through the back of the head and left the body through the eye. Death was instantaneous.
Bard's Meido Suit
A meido dress Bardiche wore for some reason. It's soft, fluffy and frilly. It's so cute, you want to hug it and keep it close to you forever.
Broken Cellphone
If you can somehow repair it, you can show off pictures of Bardiche in a meido suit everywhere...!
> You review the Court Records.
>_
-
> "Objection!"
> Point your finger at Bardiche.
> "How could NeoSerela be arrested at 10:44 if the door to the room was not opened before midnight?"
-
> "Objection!"
> Point your finger at Bardiche.
> "How could NeoSerela be arrested at 10:44 if the door to the room was not opened before midnight?"
> "Parser error."
>_
-
> Look around for Edible.
-
>Seduce Edible when we find him
-
> Look around for Edible.
>Seduce Edible when we find him
> No parser error shall hinder thee! March on to find Edible!
> You wander through the various corridors and hallways of the mansion, which for some inexplicable and magical reason is completely alright and it probably has nothing to do whatsoever with your parser retconning as he sees fit until you blindly wander into Edible, who looks shocked for a brief moment before he puts on some shades, grins widely and you recognise him as that GODDAMN TROLL.
> You proceed to dance seductively. Behind you you can hear Bardiche facepalming. Dormio eyes you with lust. Edible grins.
>_
-
> Yes, now that we have used our feminine wiles, this shall be easy.
> "Hello again Edible. Sorry to interupt your disappearing reappearing mansion cleaning duties, but we have some questions for you."
> "Where were you during the night of the murder?"
-
> Yes, now that we have used our feminine wiles, this shall be easy.
> "Hello again Edible. Sorry to interupt your disappearing reappearing mansion cleaning duties, but we have some questions for you."
> "Where were you during the night of the murder?"
> Edible nods. "Yes."
>_
-
> "Where is Yes, exactly?"
-
> "Where is Yes, exactly?"
> Edible points at your chest. You look down. He flicks your nose.
>_
-
> Attempt to refrain from throttling Edible with the maid uniform and/or assaulting him with various objects from the court record.
> "Ow."
-
> Attempt to refrain from throttling Edible with the maid uniform and/or assaulting him with various objects from the court record.
> "Ow."
> You attempt to refrain from throttling Edibleh, only BARELY succeeding.
> Edible smiles with satisfaction.
> "I wasn't here that night," he finally responds. "Had matters to take care of. People to see. Mafia games to play."
>_
-
> Take a deep breath, put our hands on our side, and give Edible our towniest glare. "You were so here! You're the one that called the police! You should be honest with us."
-
> Take a deep breath, put our hands on our side, and give Edible our towniest glare. "You were so here! You're the one that called the police! You should be honest with us."
> "Oh! Well, what do you know, you're right."
>_
-
> What were you doing before 10:30 PM?
-
> "Where were you and what were you doing the night of the murder?"
> "Also, why did you yell at Bardiche over the drink he gave NeoSerela?"
-
>What were you doing after 10:30 PM?
-
> What were you doing before 10:30 PM?
>What were you doing after 10:30 PM?
> Edible takes a deep breath.
> And doesn't answer.
> "Where were you and what were you doing the night of the murder?"
> "Also, why did you yell at Bardiche over the drink he gave NeoSerela?"
> "I was here. Doing something."
> He puts on shades. "Deal with it."
> You get the idea Edible really doesn't want to give you answers unless you somehow persuade him to.
> That's a hint, by the way.
>_
-
Read him his miranda rights
-
Read him his miranda rights
> I don't know what a miranda rights is.
>_
-
>alright skip that and arrest him
-
>alright skip that and arrest him
> You prepare to arrest him... except you're an attorney, not a cop. You also don't quite have any incriminating evidence to arrest him.
> Being Shadoweh is suffering.
>_
-
> Slap him across the
face wrist with the puppy door knob.
> "How did this get in Kitten's door?"
-
> No don't do that. DO NOT SHOW THE KNOB.
-
> Obviously we're going to have to pry this guy open in court tomorrow. Glados probably hates smarmy bastards like him anyway.
> Also, make note of the fact that Edible has put on several pairs of shades, but has yet to take off a pair. Idly wonder how they stay balanced on his face.
-
> Slap him across the face wrist with the puppy door knob.
> "How did this get in Kitten's door?"
> No don't do that. DO NOT SHOW THE KNOB.
> You are conflicted.
> Obviously we're going to have to pry this guy open in court tomorrow. Glados probably hates smarmy bastards like him anyway.
> Also, make note of the fact that Edible has put on several pairs of shades, but has yet to take off a pair. Idly wonder how they stay balanced on his face.
> You resolve to get Edible to testify in court tomorrow!
> Also, you note the multitude of shades he's wearing. Man, such a slick guy, you'd fall for him if your heart wasn't already pawned off to Dormio in a rigged Poker contest.
>_
-
>What heart?
-
> ..My heart is what now?
> Nudge Dormio. "You say something.."
-
>What heart?
> [redacted]
> ..My heart is what now?
> Nudge Dormio. "You say something.."
> Dormio looks at you with a "What, why the hell should I be the one to do all the hard work?" look. Either that or "You look like you're gaining weight". You never were an expert in Dormioface.
> "Edible! We know you did it! Confess!" Dormio points his finger like he's seen you do a lot.
> Edible sniggers.
> "Can you prove it?"
> Dormio falls quiet.
> It's like you're missing a vital piece of evidence to indict Edible.
> Or hey, at worst, you can just get Serela scot free. Right?
>_
-
>while we are deserately try to think up the missing link, ask edible a riddle
>"What have I got in my pockets?"
-
> Can we actually indict people?
-
> Show off every item in our Court Records at him. If it's not important, he'll just say the same line over again and act like it doesn't exist. Eventually we'll get the correct piece of evidence! At least this isn't a Soul Lock, those are just evil.
-
> Start with the broken cell phone.
-
>while we are deserately try to think up the missing link, ask edible a riddle
>"What have I got in my pockets?"
> "What have I got in my pocket?" He makes a good impression of Haado Gai for you.
> Can we actually indict people?
> I don't know, can you?
> Show off every item in our Court Records at him. If it's not important, he'll just say the same line over again and act like it doesn't exist. Eventually we'll get the correct piece of evidence! At least this isn't a Soul Lock, those are just evil.
> Start with the broken cell phone.
> "Lol it is broken."
> As you show him your attorney badge... SUDDENLY, chains appear! Three locks open!
> SOUL LOCK MODE ENABLED
> "So... what makes you think I did it? Do you have any evidence?"
>_
-
> Savestate
> GET THE FUCK OUT
> Go talk to Serela, he should definitely have something we need.
-
> Savestate
> GET THE FUCK OUT
> Go talk to Serela, he should definitely have something we need.
> You try to save your state. It fails.
> You also try to get the fuck out. It fails.
> The parser is a sadistic jerk and forces you into this encounter now. You have all the necessary pieces of evidence to get Edible.
>_
-
> Court Records
-
Attorney Badge
Wouldn't be one without one. Though this one isn't actually yours, but that's alright. You've just been borrowing it for a bit. A few years. Or so.
Apparently it has magical powers. Could it be the legendary Badge used by Super Attorney Pesco, who could make anyone squirm and spill the beans...?!
Bard's Case File
NeoSerela; Defendant
Accused of the murder of Kitten4u
Specifics: Kitten4u and NeoSerela had been in disagreement over NeoSerela's latest Psycho Plot Mafia the Extreme setup for 64 players. Two days ago, Kitten4u invited NeoSerela to her room to discuss matters again. The room was securely locked with a steel door, and it was locked from the inside.
Between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight, Kitten4u was shot in the face with a gun.
Said gun was in NeoSerela's hands.
The door was also shown to not have been opened between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight. There is no window in the door, and shooting through the steel door has been proven impossible.
VOTE/VIG Handgun
Allegedly the murder weapon. Was fired only once, and only has Serela's fingerprints on it.
Role PM
Serela is a Vigilante.
Note
The police were called after Edible heard gunfire at 10.13 PM. The police arrived at some unknown point. They found Kitten4u's dead body and arrested NeoSerela on the spot at 10.44 PM.
Puppy Door Knob
Conflicts with Detective Serpentarius' story that there was a kitty motif on the door knob. Can be removed to 'create' a hole in the door.
Autopsy Report
Estimated Time of Death: Between 10PM and 12AM.
Cause of death: single bullet shot through the brain. Object entered through the back of the head and left the body through the eye. Death was instantaneous.
Bard's Meido Suit
A meido dress Bardiche wore for some reason. It's soft, fluffy and frilly. It's so cute, you want to hug it and keep it close to you forever. The garments are squeaky, spotlessly clean. Impossibly clean.
Broken Cellphone
If you can somehow repair it, you can show off pictures of Bardiche in a meido suit everywhere...!
-
> Note
-
> Note
> "Eh? What's that? Is that evidence?"
> You lost 1 HP! 5 HP remaining!
>_
-
> Show him the knob.
-
> Show him the knob.
> Edible looks away. One of the locks violently explodes in a blinding light while little angels chorus in the distance.
> "So it's just a stupid door knob. That still doesn't prove anything, you know. Anyone could've removed that. In fact, it could've been Bardiche."
>_
-
> Meido Outfit
-
> Meido Outfit
> Scratch that.
> Case file, last page.
> "There is no window in the door, and shooting through the steel door has been proven impossible."
-
> Scratch that.
> Case file, last page.
> "There is no window in the door, and shooting through the steel door has been proven impossible."
No no, We need to prove someone else removed the door knob.
Specifically that it wasn't bardiche.
So
>Scratch That
-
> You are conflicted.
>_
-
> Faceplam
> Meido Outfit. Seriously, that's as easy as it gets.
-
> Faceplam
> Meido Outfit. Seriously, that's as easy as it gets.
> You reacquaint your palm with your face. Your face is happy to have made a friend.
> You PRESENT Edible with the Meido Outfit.
> "Pfffft, what's a Meido Outfit prove...?"
> YOU POINT YOUR FINGER. "It's very logical! What do we call a maid competent with a handgun?"
> Dormio knows this one! "A battle maid!"
> "Precisely. And does Bardiche look like a battle maid to you?!"
> "Hey!"
> The second lock breaks.
> "Fine, so Bardiche probably didn't do it, what makes you think I'm the one that did it?"
>_
-
> Nooto
-
>note, proving Edible was at the scene of the crime where there were but 4 people... 1 of which is dead, 2 of which are cleared. PoE.
-
>note, proving Edible was at the scene of the crime where there were but 4 people... 1 of which is dead, 2 of which are cleared. PoE.
> Nooto
> The last lock breaks unceremoniously.
> Edible, however, just grins, and puts on another pair of shades.
> "Okay, so I shot her. Dumb broad had it coming. Shot her so hard like you would not believe, and that stupid as hell Serela got himself framed. So? Deal with it. You don't have much in the way of proving I'm the killer anyway, because you can't show I used the gun."
> He's got a point.
>_
-
> Point a finger at Edible. "But we're going to prove Serela didn't do it! Then what are you going to do, huh? UK will find you and throw you into the cell instead!"
-
>Realize we're taunting a murderer.
>Use Dormio as a shield.
-
> Point a finger at Edible. "But we're going to prove Serela didn't do it! Then what are you going to do, huh? UK will find you and throw you into the cell instead!"
> Edible erupts in laughter.
> "UK won't be doing anything," he says coolly. "Just you wait and see."
>Realize we're taunting a murderer.
>Use Dormio as a shield.
> You belatedly realise you're trying to argue with someone who shot Kitten4u through the head OH GOD HE SHOT HER THROUGH THE HEAD WHAT THE HELL PANICCCCCCCCCCC
> You hide behind Dormio.
> Dormio thinks you finally recognise him as a man and feels more confident.
>_
-
> "I'm going to prove that you killed Kitten4U! I'll see you in court tomorrow!"
> Hide behind Dormio, and tell him he's more a bag of meat than a man.
-
> "I'm going to prove that you killed Kitten4U! I'll see you in court tomorrow!"
> Hide behind Dormio, and tell him he's more a bag of meat than a man.
> Edible shakes his head and walks off, laughing.
> Dormio seems conflicted between punching you or just ignoring you.
> Suddenly night falls, because that's how these kind of games work.
> When you open your eyes again, you're in the defendant's lobby with Dormio and Serela.
> "So what're my chances?!" Serela looks at you like you're the goddamn messiah.
>_
-
> "Just be quiet and look pretty in your seat."
-
>"Don't worry, Edible's the killer, you're innocent"
>"Do what you do best, make sure everything you say has a tinge of confirmation bias. Conviction influences judges."
-
> "All we need is townie motivation! We can DO THIS!"
> Pump our hands in the air.
> "If there's anything else important you remembr Serela, now is a good time to tell us or let us now."
-
Between 9 PM and 12 o' midnight, Kitten4u was shot in the face with a gun.
Autopsy Report
Estimated Time of Death: Between 10PM and 12AM.
Cause of death: single bullet shot through the brain. Object entered through the back of the head and left the body through the eye. Death was instantaneous.
How did the victim get shot in the face when the bullet entered through the back of the head?
-
How did the victim get shot in the face when the bullet entered through the back of the head?
Spherical face.
-
> "Just be quiet and look pretty in your seat."
>"Don't worry, Edible's the killer, you're innocent"
>"Do what you do best, make sure everything you say has a tinge of confirmation bias. Conviction influences judges."
> "All we need is townie motivation! We can DO THIS!"
> Pump our hands in the air.
> Serela stares at you with confusion. Damn, you're so good at this 'make people feel at ease' stuff.
> "If there's anything else important you remembr Serela, now is a good time to tell us or let us now."
> Serela frowns. Serela thinks. And then pouts. "Nothing comes to mind."
How did the victim get shot in the face when the bullet entered through the back of the head?
> Erroneous earlier information, you presume.
Spherical face.
> Or a spherical face. You determine to find out if K4u has a round or spherical face.
> It's time.......for JUSTICE!
> "Oh, look, there she is again." GLaDOS is extremely happy to see you. You think. You hope.
> UK should be pret-- wait, what. Why is Hero999 in the prosecution's seat, and why is his seat five feet tall? Why does he have girls skimpy clothes fanning him anyway?!
> "Do you like it? I like it," GLaDOS comments.
> Beside you, you can hear Dormio slam his head into the desk.
> "We should begin the trial so we can determine Serela is guilty," GLaDOS drones on. "Is there anything the Defence wants to say before we declare the verdict?"
>_
-
>OBJECTION! We have evidence that Serela is innocent!
-
> "Also where is UncertainKitten?! And why does Hero get a swarm of girls and all we get is Dormio?!"
-
>OBJECTION! We have evidence that Serela is innocent!
> GLaDOS slowclaps. "Bravo, you have evidence."
> "Also where is UncertainKitten?! And why does Hero get a swarm of girls and all we get is Dormio?!"
> Hero999's voice rings out clear. "OBJECTION!"
> "Sustained," GLaDOS responds, and then after a whirr adds, "Overruled. Hero999 is a hydra with UncertainKitten. You've heard of it, right? I'm sure you have. You're so big, nothing gets around you. Oops, did I say that out loud? But it's still true. Fattie."
> Dormio glares at you and starts yelling something in Korean.
> GLaDOS whirrs around a bit, and tosses a Companion Cube in the centre of the room. "I've decided. We'll continue this trail. The defence may present evidence. One piece of evidence, or the Cube gets it."
>_
-
> W-we can do this!
> PRESENT THE PUPPY DOG KNOB! "We have the proof! Kitten4u was shot from OUTSIDE the room! Serela isn't the one that shot her!" Slam our hands on the desk, point townily. "This item contradicts the entire case against my client!"
-
>Secretly hope the cube gets it because we're heartless bastards.
>Grumble about hydras being OP because they can abuse dissonance.
-
>Secretly hope the cube gets it because we're heartless bastards.
>Grumble about hydras being OP because they can abuse dissonance.
> You grumble about this. Dormio wholeheartedly agrees.
> W-we can do this!
> PRESENT THE PUPPY DOG KNOB! "We have the proof! Kitten4u was shot from OUTSIDE the room! Serela isn't the one that shot her!" Slam our hands on the desk, point townily. "This item contradicts the entire case against my client!"
> For a moment, all is silent in the courtroom. All eyes are affixed to you: Hero's, that of his harem of 999 women, Dormio, Serela, Conq and Capth (who found the proceedings interesting and are, oddly, the only audience members), and finally GLaDOS's.
> The next moment... the silence continues.
> Until slowly, very slowly... clap. Clap. Clap.
> You did it! GLaDOS is impressed! The case is going to be turned around!
> "You saved me!" Serela cries, rushing towards you and flinging his arms around you in a display of affection.
> "I am impressed," GLaDOS says, just to confirm your suspicions. Hah! Shadoweh, DEFENCE ATTORNEY EXTRA-ORDINAIRE! That'll show Bard.
> "That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen anyone do," GLaDOS continues. "Well, except for that moron. He was something special. Just like my old friend. Ah, she's gone now."
> "Speaking of old friends, I have someone I want you to meet."
> All the doors are suddenly barred. With steel. Impenetrable steel. Also two gigantic tubes are entering the room through the ceiling.
> "Deadly Neuro Toxin, meet Courtroom. Courtroom, meet Deadly Neuro Toxin."
> Dormio stares at you in panic.
> "WHAT DO WE DO?!"
>_
-
> "AAAAAAAAAAAA WAIT THE KNOB IS REMOVABLE FROM THE DOOR TO KITTEN4U'S ROOM! THAT'S WHY IT PROVES HIS INNOCENCE! DON'T KILL US I HAVE SO MANY CASES TO LIVE FOOOR!"
-
> BRISKLY APPLY DOORKNOB TO BARRED DOOR IN AN ACT OF INSANITY
-
> "AAAAAAAAAAAA WAIT THE KNOB IS REMOVABLE FROM THE DOOR TO KITTEN4U'S ROOM! THAT'S WHY IT PROVES HIS INNOCENCE! DON'T KILL US I HAVE SO MANY CASES TO LIVE FOOOR!"
> The courtroom is still quiet. You can't even hear the neuro toxin entering the room.
> Wait, that's a good thing.
> "You are very late in explaining," GLaDOS responds. "Unfortunately, once a verdict has been reached, we require you press the Turnover Verdict Button to turn around the verdict. Oh, and the verdict? You're all guilty."
> As she says so, you can hear gasses entering the room. Oh, and you can see green fumes entering the room through the tubes.
> I'd like to tell you it was fun being your parser. The room is flooding with deadly neuro toxin.
> Dormio's saying something in Korean. Hero's throwing his harem to clog up the tubes, but the tubes are big and his harem is kind of dying the moment they near the tube and he can't clog up the tubes much.
> Serela's sobbing and weeping and doing Serela things.
> You are Shadoweh. Defence Attorney extra-ordinaire.
> You have BATTLED for pride. You have CRUSHED opposition, STOLEN dreams, KISSED guys and CHEATED on the guy you said you loved.
> You have done so many deplorable things. But is this how it'll end?
> Is this the time to surrender, to give up and say, "Well, better luck next time?"
> Well, for one, there's no next time, so that's a pretty good argument to say it isn't.
> But the decision is up to you.
> WHAT DO?
> BRISKLY APPLY DOORKNOB TO BARRED DOOR IN AN ACT OF INSANITY
> You briskly apply the doorknob to the barred door. Ze doorknob, it does nozing.
> There's still time before you keel over and die.
> WHAT DO?
>_
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>Put on maid outfit
>Use Appeal to Emotion on Hero to ask him to SAVE US PLEASE
>Oh, and press the Turnover Verdict Button just because we're lame.
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>Press the Turnover Verdict Button... with the doorknob.
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>Put on maid outfit
>Use Appeal to Emotion on Hero to ask him to SAVE US PLEASE
> You put on Bard's Meido Costume.
> And appeal to Hero.
> Hero yells at you. "I'm a bit too busy saving my own arse here, save yourself!" He flings the last member of his harem into the tube, and succesfully clogs up one tube. Sadly the other tube is still spewing out a deadly neuro toxin.
>Oh, and press the Turnover Verdict Button just because we're lame.
>Press the Turnover Verdict Button... with the doorknob.
> You'll get on that once you figure out where that goddamn button is.
> You're Still Alive.
>_
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> WHERE IS THE TURNOVER VERDICT BUTTON. PRESS IT.
> Maybe it's our Attorney Badge? Present it to GlaDoS, and uh, press it.
> "Dormio! BE A MAN! Take out that judge! Or press the button! BE A HERO DORMIO!"
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> WHERE IS THE TURNOVER VERDICT BUTTON. PRESS IT.
> Maybe it's our Attorney Badge? Present it to GlaDoS, and uh, press it.
> You have no clue where the button is.
> You PRESENT GLaDOS your Attorney Badge. It does nothing.
> You press the badge. You hear a subtle click.
> Suddenly, there is a massive explosion and one of the metal-barred doors is blown to smithereens.
> Edible waltzes in through the hole, armed with a rocket launcher machine gun. It's a machine gun that fires rockets OH GOD WHAT.
> "Don't worry, we're here to save you!" UK comes in as well, and uh. Uh. What. She's dual-wielding rocket launcher machine guns. Jesus christ is there a sale on ROCKET LAUNCHER MACHINE GUNS or something?!
> GLaDOS slowclaps again. "I guess that's that," she comments calmly, before the combined force of Edible and UK blasts her to smithereens.
> It takes a moment for all the smoke to disappear, but you realise you're saved. By Edible. And UK.
> Serela stares up to you. "So... am I saved? Did you succesfully defend me?"
>_
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> "Uh... yes! Yes I did!"
> "So why.. with the guns.. and the.. Kittan! Explain to me what is going on!"
> Wave our arms in a waffly confused manner that people find adorable.
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> "Uh... yes! Yes I did!"
> "So why.. with the guns.. and the.. Kittan! Explain to me what is going on!"
> Wave our arms in a waffly confused manner that people find adorable.
> You demand explanations! You wave your arms around cutely! You... owwwww! Ow ow ow! You feel a sharp pain on your head.
> The world distorts and twists and suddenly you're not in the court room.
> You're in a classroom. You think. You're seated, and had your head on the desk. There's even some drool there.
> Kitten4u is hunched over you with a worried look. "Are you okay? You fell asleep during the game."
> "Lame Survivor falling asleep," you hear Bard add.
> "You're just mad we won," Dormio says.
> You remember. You're in Mafia High and you were playing Mafia with all your friends and then you fell asleep and... you dreamt all that?
> You're just about to go back to sleep when you realise you've got something in your hand.
> It's a shiny Attorney Badge.
GOOD END
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Are you implying I dream about you in Meido Outfits Bardiche?!?!
>.>
<.<
How did you know?
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Wat.
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You dream of me being shot in the head Shadoweh? :<
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You dream of me being shot in the head Shadoweh? :<
She has deeply set mental issues.
HOORAY SHADOWEH SAVED ME :]
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It figures Shadoweh would dream about a role madness game beyond the likes of anything seen before.
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Phoenix Wright Mafia etc.
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I do not dream of Kitten4u being shot! ;-; Everything else I can neither confirm nor deny.
Where are my unlocked scenes and background music Bardiche? >:(
> View Kitten4u death scene
> What's Shadoweh's theme song?
> What would have happened if we'd presented the evidence correctly? Would we have gotten Edible to the stand?
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I do not dream of Kitten4u being shot! ;-; Everything else I can neither confirm nor deny.
Where are my unlocked scenes and background music Bardiche? >:(
I already sang you Still Alive!
> View Kitten4u death scene
> Bonus content not available.
> What's Shadoweh's theme song?
> Bonus content not available.
> What would have happened if we'd presented the evidence correctly? Would we have gotten Edible to the stand?
Yes.