Author Topic: That's your Touhouroscope for today  (Read 98442 times)

Mk_Ultimos47

  • ~The tasteless hobbyist~
  • Just a bored and random passerby~
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #120 on: November 06, 2013, 06:51:15 AM »
Future: Oh, you mischievous scamp, you! Late one Halloween night, you sneak a fake head into the driver's seat of your neighbor's craptacular seafoam green 1994 Ford Taurus. Unfortunately, he's got a lit cigar in his craw and the shock causes him to drop it in his yard. It's fall, and the leaves in his yard soon catch fire . . . The ibis flies away from the poor cat, landing in what it thought was a safe stream at the other end of town. Hungry from its exhaustion, the ibis goes in search of a big catch in the local waters, only to find out that the stream leads to the town dam . . . WATCH ME EXPLOOOOOOODE indeed.
 
Death:  Aware of the results of the first half of your mischief, you will try to hide in plain sight at the concert. When the police at the concert start getting a bit chatty on their walkie-talkies, you will try to hide behind one of the speakers when the spike hits. Strangely enough, the shockwave is enough to hurtle you through the air, landing you at the foot of the now hearing-impaired police. The blow does you in at the age of 14.
 
Last Words: Enough curse words that your mother would kill you simply because you would choke on the number of bars of soap needed to clean your potty mouth, mister!
 
Number: Pi. After all, what goes around comes around.
 
Color: Turquoise

What in the world happened to my life?! . . . and what was I thinking of? Hiding behind a concert boombox, never a good idea.

I'm everywhere you are, only cause I'm bored.

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #121 on: November 06, 2013, 04:23:31 PM »
I struggle on some of these, but others line up so well for a theme that to think of anything else would be ridiculous.
  • Nazrin
  • Satori
  • Yukari
  • Patchouli
  • Mamizou
  • Suwako
  • Kanako
  • Yuuka
  • Miko
  • Reimu

Future: "Bonsoir, Monsieur! We meet on ze battlefield again" you sneer, gazing at your enemy's troops as they gather on the open ground. You are the grand commander of an empire. You are a peerless strategist, a flawless leader, and a vertically challenged shorty-short shortpants tiny noheight Middle-Earth's-tallest-dwarf picked-last-for-basketball individual of diminuitive stature. You aren't sore about it, especially because it took 19 seperate diseases and a terrible Yahtzee incident to reduce you to it. You sit atop your highchair balanced precariously upon the tallest horse in the entire nation. Satisfied with your observations and prepared to meet your enemy in the field of battle, you turn your horse back to your quarters. "Now get me a baguette crustier zan me and coffee so strong it makes the sugar cream itself!" One of your aides scampers off, returning 7 seconds too late with a bread-shaped slab of granite and coffee that could eat through a tank. "You eencompetent swine!" you bellow. "Off wiz 'eez 'ead!" The boy is guillotined in front of a squadron of other aides and his parents for intimidation.
 
In your tent, you sit upon a regal chair (and the three unabridged dictionaries on top of it) behind a grand table covered in maps, messages, and miniature sculptures depicting the locations and formations of both armies. Something bothers you as you gaze at the immense number of tactical information in front of you. "Mah bootz aire dirty! Zee one who keeses zee faztest will not go unrewairded!" One happy servant and two decapitated ones later, you are satisfied with your battle plan which boils down to you not getting your pimpin' boots smudged again. You storm out of the tent, clamber up the highchair placed upon your horse, and order your men into place. The armies on both sides slowly lurch to life and the battle begins. Driven by a hunger for success as much as a fear of failure, they command well. While your opponent is formidable, your army's maneuverability catches the enemy off guard, and before long, you order your troops to strike the winning blow.

"CANNONEERZ! PREPARE ZEE GRAPESHOT! EENFANTRY! FEEX BAYONETZ AND 'AVE ZE CAVARLY READY FOR ZE CHAIRGE! ZIS DAY WILL BE OURS!" The cannons belch fire and death rains upon your foes. The front line of your infantry fires a final thunderous volley upon the enemy's closely packed lines and charges. The din of their war cry is only equaled by the clamorous galloping hooves of the cavalry's horses as they sweep in to meet the enemy's exposed flank. The beasts crash headlong into the enemy's line. Steel meets bone as the enemy infantry are cut down. Those not slain by the mighty cavalry are run through by the charging wall of bayonets. Widespread panic erupts in your enemy's tightly packed formation and they are unable to counterattack. They begin to break and flee, only to be chased down by your persistent cavalry. Just as victory is at hand, the enemy's commander - the duke himself - roars a mighty shout of defiance: "You can't go five times in one turn! Fuck you, Uncle Joey! I don't want to play Stratego with you anymore!" Your nine year old nephew flips over the entire table and the board and pieces go flying. It spooks your horse and he bucks so hard that you topple off your highchair. Your nephew then jams a lieutenant piece up your nose and storms out of the room, leaving you with half the student body (a few of whom are now literal student bodies) from a local high school you paid to have as extras. A heavy silence hangs over the room as the disgruntled students slowly turn to you. Minutes later, they disperse, leaving you in a position and situation that the local police would later describe as "more than awkward."
 
Death: 52 of stomach cancer.
 
Last Words: "Arthur, you Irish blaireau! Can't we hug this out instead?"
 
Number: 1799
 
Color: Blue, white and red in vertical strips. If it's white, blue, and red in horizontal stripes, do y'self a favor and get some hot cocoa.
 
Spoiler:
Go for the eyes, Boo!

Let's give it a try...
1- Yuuka
2- Ran
3- Shinki tied with Mima
4- Yuugi tied with Gengetu
5- Rika
6- Elly tied with Mugetu
7- Yumemi
8- Yumeko
9- Kotohime
10- Meira!
The ones tied, pick you one of them...what's important is that 1st position is the almighty Yuuka-without-skirt from pc-98, when she was still 99% evil, arrogant and interesting and only 1% girly and boring.
What there will be in my future? Will i follow Yuuka's voice and destroy the world in the name of the Genmukan?

Future: ARE YOU READY BROTHER?! YEAH! YOU own da BIGGEST FRIGGIN' GYM is dis town. It's BIFF'S BIG FRIGGIN' GYM FOR BIG FRIGGIN' DOODS, man. YEAH! An' you built dis place 'cuz you were SICK and TIRED of bein' pushed around by dose WIMPS at da OFFICE. An' EVERY DAY you been pumpin' up so you could HANDLE dem CHUMPS. YEAH! An' NOW you ain't da wimp you was. HELL NO. You been PUMPIN' IRON an' EATIN' MEAT and sometimes EATIN' IRON since da day you got SWIRLIED in da WEST WING BAFROOM at WORK because you was WEAK. Dat's not da case no more! YEAH! Now you can BENCH PRESS a small CAR because you LIVE at da GYM. Your call you PECS Bedlam because they're INSAAAAANE! An' call Dr. Smith an' Dr. Wesson 'cuz you got the SICKEST GUNS in TOWN! Uh... Dat analogy sorta worked! YEAH! And your NECK is thicker than your thick HEAD. An' brother, your HEAD is REAL THICK because you've been taking some SERIOUS PERFORMANCE ENHANCERS! YEAH! Dey ain't steroids if you call dem PERFORMANCE ENHANCERS first! YEAH! WHAT'S DAT? Da supervisor at yer former workplace wants ta issue a RESTRAINING ORDER against you 'cuz you beat up his car with yer FISTS and threatened ta beat up his KIDS because dey looked at you funny? Well, beat HIM. HE shoulda known not ta MESS wid da BEST. YEAH! Da COPS stop by for QUESTIONS regarding the PERFECTLY LEGAL SALE of NOT TAINTED PERFORMANCE ENHANCERS you've been dealing to earn a little extra cash? BEAT DEM UP! A SWAT team SURROUNDS da gym and demands you come out PEACEFULLY? All you need to do is FLEX in order to deflect their SUBMACHINE GUN FIRE! YEAH! Even if you SURRENDER, it don't MATTER 'cuz you'll just PUMP da IRON bars right off da friggin' WALL. YEAH!

Death: YOU beat up DEATH da first time you meet dat CHUMP 'cuz you ain't gonna take no CRAP from HIM. He has a bad hip? Well YOU gonna make it WORSE. YEAH!

Last Words: "And NOW I'm gonna BENCH PRESS this STEAM ROLLER like it was YOUR MOM after a DATE WITH ME. YEAH!"

Number: 350 pounds of muscle. YEAH!

Color: PURPLE like the color of your FACE after PUMPING IRON for so long. YEAH!

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #122 on: November 07, 2013, 10:57:37 PM »
Unfortunately, NekoNekoRex is going to have to wait. I'd like to do something different again that would require using my home computer. Life outside of work has been so busy and I'm putting so much effort into physical therapy that I haven't been able to string together an hour of clear thought and free time to myself all week.
1. Flandre Scarlet
2. Remilia Scarlet
3. Hata no Kokoro
4. Aya Shameimaru
5. Alice Margatroid
6. Youmu Konpaku
7. Hong Meiling
8. Yukari Yakumo
9. Reisen Udongein Inaba
10. Satori Komeiji
Wisdom please.

Future: Life as Bela Lugosi's great-granddaughter kinda sucks (huhuhuh), especially considering that you're also the great-granddaughter of Lon Chaney. You've got a lot to live up to as an actress, but just trying to find yourself in the biz is a bit rough. Instead of going right to the big leagues, you must claw your way up the ladder. Hence, you dip into the darkest, dingiest corner of the film industry. A wasteland where plotless scenarios are played out by nearly talentless 'actors' and 'actresses' with one redeeming, er, 'feature' in a vat of disgusting filth that you have to sell your body to get through. That's right, you get your start in B movies.
 
You arrive at your first shoot to find that the set is actually inside someone's house. You enter, only to find an arrow crudely drawn in black magic marker on posterboard pointing down the stairs to the basement. Hesitant, you slowly slink down the stairs, only to be greeted by an overweight and pimple-covered 15 year old boy. "It'sh a pleashure to meechu, Mish Shcarlet" he croaks. He extends a pasty hand clutching a thick stack of sheets stapled together. The working title "The Aristocrats" has been crossed out, leaving what will now the permanent title of your first feature film. "Fanfiction.net: A Crossover Love Story" now adorns the top of the script in a rainbow-colored Comic Sans font. The weight of the script could kill a horse. Before you have the chance, the boy opens his mouth filled with braces to speak again:  "You'll be playing Ishabella from Twilight after Edward bitesh her when shhe triesh to leave him. Here'sh the resht of the casht." A bunch of neighborhood kids in Halloween costumes are herded out into a clear corner of the basement between the pantry and the washer and dryer. They are introduced as Eren from Shingeki no Kyojin, Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series, Iron Man, a half-human and half-pony hybrid original character, and an unrecognizable grey-painted troll holding a bucket. The shoot takes up the whole day, and as desperately as you need the paycheck, you run screaming from the set while trying to perform a scene in which involved Iron Man is marrying you to the half-pony. You're gone, and Eren doesn't have the time to interrupt the wedding, let alone catch up to you in his maneuver gear made of styrofoam.
 
Despite fleeing into the night, you receive a paycheck from the boy in the form of a regular hand-written check from his and his mother's joint account. You also receive an invite to the premier in Utah. Against all common sense, you are compelled to witness how terrible the film is. You catch a bus to the premier and don an outfit and hairstyle to disguise yourself before heading to the show. Sure enough, the show proves to be an excellent laxative, and 15 minutes after the movie has started, the bathrooms are full. Your parts are luckily minimal and no one in the audience seems to recognize you in the dark. During the wedding scene, the characters freeze in place on the screen, your mouth conveniently open at that instant. Suddenly, a familiar voice is choked out over the deafening silence: "I have to go now. My planet needsh me." Your image is slowly moved offscreen and the background seems to be drawn in as you and you alone seem to be panned out of the still frame. The audience reaction ranges from gut-bursting laughter to epileptic seizures. You stumble out of the theater in a haze, attempting not to retch. By a miracle, you make your way back ot your hotel room and pass out.
 
Late the next morning, you groggily open your hotel room door, only to find that the morning paper awaiting you on the hallway floor. "FANFICTION.NET: A CROSSOVER LOVE STORY WINS SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL AWARD" reads the headline.
 
Death: In an ironic twist, your penchant for steak gives you a heart condition which proves to be your undoing at the age of 81.
 
Last Words: "Vone! Two! Th'ree! Four! I've had four coronary artery bypass surgeries! Ah-ah-ah-ah!" The lightning bolt that accompanies your laughter each time you do this shorts out the medical equipment in the OR, shutting off the important medical equipment that would be used during the surgery.
 
Number: 1477, which is the year Vlad Tepes III perished. Remilia's just bluffing anyway, but Vlad the Impaler really was around a bit before the time Remilia was. The more you know.
 
Color: Darkest night.
 
Let us go, son of man.
1. Gengetsu
2. Yumemi Okazaki
3. Byakuren Hijiri
4. Shinki
5. Shikieiki Yamaxanadu
6. Utsuho Reiuji
7. Rumia
8. Kana Anaberal
9. Yumeko
10. Yuuka Kazami

Future: The planet is dying. War, plague, pollution, and the science of destruction have left it a husk on the verge of total destruction. The last great minds of humanity have united as one to save Mother Earth, but they knew before they began that it was too late. Yet hope still remains. Why? They have constructed a device that will allow one person to pass through time and reality back to the moments that would set off this infinite chain of self-destruction. Who is this savior? The scientists have little time to decide, as the planet's crust begins to break and the seas turn to molten rock. In a panic, they throw open the portal to a better world - a world of the past. You, the janitor, then bumble into it while mopping the floor. The portal closes, leaving the scientists to stare as their one and only chance to save Earth is flushed down the toilet. The toilet you used to scrub. You are flung into the past to save humanity from self-destruction. You have $10.67 in your jumpsuit pocket, a mop filled with coffee stains, and you haven't showered in a week. GOOD LUCK!
 
You wander about the world of the past, enjoying its splendor in comparison to the ruins of the new world. Yet duty calls, and you... sorta answer...-ish? You become a staple at high profile events. Namely, you throw yourself in front limousines the world over, hoping that you are stopping a world leader from being assassinated by a sniper. You are caught on the Pope's toilet checking it for bombs before mass. You even hop on a shuttle to the International Space Station to ensure it won't be used as a weapons satellite. Yet you have no idea what you are doing. Left clueless about how to save the world, you wander from place to place doing the unthinkable in a vain attempt to stop any of this madness from happening, but in the end you're pretty certain that you're much closer to causing it.
 
Despondent, you resign the world to its fate. You take a job at a cutting-edge weapons facility since the tech reminds you of your last job, though you're still just mopping floors. After a few months on the job, you are working the graveyard shift cleaning up the remnants of the employee Christmas party. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of an important-looking man in a business suit followed closely by an attendant. Out of courtesy, you call out to them. "Oh, be careful of the... party remnants." "Puke. Gotcha." the man says dismissively. "Did you say 'nuke Russia,' sir?" his attendant inquires. The man sighs as he gracefully walks on a spot on the floor that you had hit with the mops not moments earlier. It was covered in, uh, "slime" let's call it. "No, you incompetent flab biscuit!" the important-looking man snaps. You realize that the man would've slipped on the narf you had cleaned up and wouldn't have had the chance to correct his underling if you hadn't shlopped it up moments earlier. You also realize that the man is the President of the United States of America and he was here to close the weapons facility down if the visit went well.
 
Suddenly, you feel as if reality itself is being torn to pieces. It is. Sucked through a rift similar to the one you entered to get to the past, you tumble through time and an infinite number of realities only to do a face plant on the platform of the teleporter you originally fell into. "Welcome back, hero! We are the scientists that sent you to the past in an alternate timeline. We have been monitoring your efforts after creating devices to witness the past. We have seen your deeds and discovered that you mopping up the Finance manager's sick has prevented the destruction of Earth!" Applause erupts from the crowd of scientists and the world is informed of your actions. For all time, you are celebrated as the slayer of the vomit that would destroy the world. Statues of you that reach the heavens are erected in every city and town across the globe. You are given infinite wealth for your greatest of great deeds and live out the rest of your life in pure bliss. All hail Zengar Zombolt, slayer of the vomit upon the linoleum floor!
 
Death: After living on life support for 50 years, you request to be put to rest at 152 after you get sick of watching reruns of 90's gardening shows. Religions around you and your mop still form afterwards.
 
Last Words: "I am Zengar Zombolt, the mop that wipes up the upchucked cake and cheap IPA of evil!"
 
Number:
 
Color: Ham. Nothing else makes sense considering you announce your presence by shouting.

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #123 on: November 07, 2013, 11:42:56 PM »
Here is my list...of dooooom!

1.) Cirno
2.) Remilia Scarlet
3.) Flandre Scarlet
4.) Reimu
5.) Patchouli
6.) Alice
7.) Sakuya
8.) Marisa
9.)  Reisen
10.) Wakasagihime

Blue

  • aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
  • aaaaaaaaaaaa
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #124 on: November 08, 2013, 06:25:23 AM »
Here goes...
1. Raiko
2. Mokou
3. Murasa
4. Patchouli
5. Nue
6. Lyrica
7. Suwako
8. Nitori
9. Youmu
10. Yuuka

SIRookie

  • I have no idea what I'm doing
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #125 on: November 08, 2013, 12:54:31 PM »
1. Yasaka Kanako
2. Fujiwara no Mokou
3. Kazami Yuuka
4. Kurodani Yamame
5. Shameimaru Aya
6. Hong Meiling
7. Mizuhashi Parsee
8. Shiki Eiki
9. Aki Minoriko
10. Nagae Iku

Into the abyss
« Last Edit: November 26, 2013, 08:17:48 PM by SIRookie »

Zengar Zombolt

  • Space-Time Tuning Circle - Wd/Fr
  • Green-Red Divine Clock
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #126 on: November 08, 2013, 05:20:16 PM »
Bahahaha. Really amazing :D

Shadoweh

  • I will ahn~ vote count for you
  • *
  • The STRONGEST Day Effect
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #127 on: November 08, 2013, 06:22:17 PM »
1. Alice Margatroid
1. Yuuka Kazami
1. Yuuka (PC-98)
4. Koishi Komeiji
5. Patchouli Knowledge
5. Sakuya Izayoi
5. Satori Komeiji
8. Yuyuko Saigyouji
8. Yukari Yakumo
10. Byakuren Hijiri

(ALL HAIL THE PAJAMAS) I haven't done this for awhile. Seiga only made 12, I am sad. :<


Kitten4u: "I'll say it plainly: THERE IS NO WAY SHADOWEH IS SCUM!" - A Balanced Game of Mafia

Mesarthim

  • Oh no, which direction should I move?
  • Clumsy
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #128 on: November 09, 2013, 03:32:53 AM »
I'm curious to see where this goes...

1. Ran Yakumo
2. Hata no Kokoro
3. Rin Kaenbyou
4. Suika Ibuki
5. Star Sapphire
6. Reisen
7.  Cirno
8. Youmu
9. Nazrin
10.  Chen
« Last Edit: November 18, 2013, 08:39:18 AM by Mesarthim »

Hard 1cc: 4 (LLS), 6 (EoSD),7 (PCB),8 (IN),9 (PoFV),10 (MoF),11 (SA),12 (UFO),12.8 (GFW)13 (TD), 14 (DDC), 15 (LoLK)
Lunatic 1cc: 8 (IN), 9 (PoFV), 11 (SA), 12.8 (GFW), 14 (DDC)
Extra Clear: 4 (LLS) ,5 (MS) ,6 (EoSD),7 (PCB),8 (IN),9 (PoFV),10 (MoF),11 (SA),12 (UFO),12.8 (GFW),13(TD), 14 (DDC), 15 (LoLK)

Drake

  • *
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #129 on: November 09, 2013, 03:58:47 AM »
Amazing punchline. I'm fukken crazy.

A Colorful Calculating Creative and Cuddly Crafty Callipygous Clever Commander
- original art by Aiけん | ウサホリ -

Third Eye Lem

  • Time Ticker
  • Castle Bal
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #130 on: November 11, 2013, 05:00:29 AM »
Got room for one more?

1- Yuyuko
2- Satori
3- Yukari
4- Byakuren
5- Reisen
6- Marisa
7- Reimu
8- Sanae
9- Cirno (yes I know someone did this before, shut up)
10 - Nitori

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #131 on: November 12, 2013, 01:56:31 AM »
1. Kaguya
2. Eirin
3. Keine
4. Byakuren
5. Benben
6. Reimu
7. Reisen
8. Kokoro
9. Sekibanki
10. Wriggle

I'm so not ready for this but bring it.

Future: You are merrily walking along and enjoying a sandwich when you stumble into a ditch containing a portal to the past. Unfortunately, time travel teleportation isn't necessarily as nice and clean as it is in some works of fiction, and you emerge from the warp with a bald spot and HALF YOUR SANDWICH GONE. You are also 400 feet in the air and won't be wanting the sandwich soon anyhow. In the middle of the night, you hurtle towards the ground screaming at the top of your lungs as the moonlight highlights your descent. Luckily, a deciduous tree is beneath you and you slip through dozens of branches that break your fall. The giant mound of mammoth poo at the base of the tree also helps. Your screaming draws the attention of the locals in your new time period. A band of homo erecti trundle over to where you emerge from the mound of dung. In their primitive grunts, they dub you the god of the moon and worship you.
 
Though communication is troublesome at best, you realize your unique opportunity pursue any and all efforts to educate these primitive humans. You attempt to teach them about what the future holds in regards to science, medicine, and art, though they only seem to care about eating berries. After a long struggle, they start to pick up what you attempt to show them. As you show them how to bandage a wound, they attempt to choke themselves with the bandages. As you attempt to show them theater, they attempt to hit their heads with rocks to produce the desired percussion. As you demonstrate how to light brush to create fire, they light themselves on fire. Eventually, they pick up a number of skills that they never would have managed otherwise. You tearfully regret that a third wave ska band just isn't possible considering that brass won't be invented for quite some time. This does have the upside of not having to teach them from blowing raspberries into the wrong end of the trombones and drinking from the spit valves.
 
While the adults benefit greatly from what you teach them, the kids seem to get the short end of the stick. Despite your efforts, the generation of homo erectus you teach all these skills to is spiteful of the next generation. They are sweepingly regarded as lazy, unmotivated, and entitled jerks despite plenty evidence to the opposite and it simply boils down to the ignorance of the older generation. Before long, the next generation has fewer employment and education opportunities, so nearly all of the stuff you taught them goes to waste. At least you tried and in the end it was someone else's fault.
 
Death: You are technically -478,979 years old at death.
 
Last Words: "Ugh ah ee ooh ooh dah." You were trying to communicate with a second makeshift tribe of homo erectus. You were attempting to provide food as a peace offering. They interpreted it as "I find your backs to be severely lacking in hair and your dung-flinging skills are subpar."
 
Number: 6
 
Color: Dye will not be invented for millenia. Hope you enjoy green and brown!
 
1. Koishi Komeiji
2. Nitori Kawashiro
3. Suwako Moriya
4. Nazrin
5. Yuuka Kazami
6. Satori Komeiji
7. Toyosatomimi no Miko
8. Fujiwara no Mokou
9. Suika Ibuki
10. Shinmyoumaru Sukuna
Let's see what the future will bring.

Future: You're the invisible man. *DUN* A freak lab accident has rendered you completely transparent. Not a soul alive can see you. Though you are initially taken aback by the experience, you clearly see the advantage and make use of your new abilities. You start out by stealing cookies and giving people atomic wedgies simply in order to watch them blame the only other person around. This gets a bit interesting when they pay a visit to Gran in the nursing home. You can even moon people without repercussions. The initial success you experience wind up further encouraging you to steal everything that isn't nailed down and prank everyone in town until things almost reach a point of municipal civil war. Yet in the end, everything is just a little unfulfilling.
 
Over time, you grow tired of being invisible. It's kinda tough being someone with no presence whatsoever and who is so easy to ignore. Soon, you realize just how lonely you've become, and you rush to find ways to let others know that you're there. First, you try playing music, but this makes conversation difficult and you occasionally offend tall individuals when you walk by with your favorite tune playing. Next, you try painting yourself each day only to find that you are allergic to it, especially in and around your eyes. Lastly, you go a week without bathing and roll around in whatever roadkill you can find, only to discover that being a walking source of stench that could knock a buzzard off a poopmobile from 100 paces seems to make everyone else disappear. Finally, you are ready to give up, and after spending a full year invisible and several months trying to make yourself visible again, you make a final concession: "Well, it looks like I'll have to start wearing clothes again just to be seen." You are quickly arrested and charged for several hundred accounts of indecent exposure.
 
Death: Things go pretty well from then on out. However, you need to go for brain surgery when you're 77 which proves to be a bit too difficult for the surgeon. Probably because you're INVISIBLE.
 
Last Words: "FLASH! AHHH~AHHHHHH!" Announcing your nakedity to an elderly woman whose house you've been creeping around is not a good idea when she's armed. She plugs you in the head with her late husband's shotgun.
 
Number: 13
 
Color: The same color as the emperor's new clothes.

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #132 on: November 12, 2013, 07:16:02 PM »
And my Touhousorter results arrrrrrre...
1- Nue Houjuu
2- Koishi Komeiji
3- Byakuren Hijiri
4- Kogasa Tatara
5- Hata no Kokoro
6- Seija Kijin
7- Kasen Ibaraki
8- Kana Anaberal
9- Shinki
10- Utsuho Reiuji (Okuu)
Yup. ^^;

Future: Ah, summertime. A time of year when when people get away from all their troubles by vacationing at the beach. You take your fiancee to the lovely coastal town of Innsmouth, Massachusetts. Though the town smells a bit fishy and the innkeeper at the Gilman House is a bit on the inhospitable side, you manage to relax a bit. You and your fiancee head down to the beach for a bit of swimming. Suddenly, Cthulhu himself rises from R'lyeh and storms the coastline! Fishing vessels are tossed aside like toy boats and an army of Deep Ones charges the mainland from the depths of the ocean! People run screaming for safety, but there is none to be found! Buildings are toppled and cars crushed behind the infinite maddening might of Cthulhu and his army of eternal Deep Ones!  Before long, a giant swath of the east coast is wreathed in flames! Cthulhu lets out a piercing cry that shatters the sanity of every poor soul within a hundred miles! Well! That turned out to be quite a tourist trap. You pack up your things from the rubble of the hotel and decide to move on.   
 
Ah, summertime. A time of year when people get away from all their troubles in the lovely countryside. You open the door to your room and settle in at a bed and breakfast in the quaint little town of Dunwich, Massachusetts. Rolling, breezy hills dot the landscape, and you and your fiancee head out for a stroll. Your fiancee accidentally brushes against a 9 foot tall man as you leave the building, leaving a sickly yellow-green ichor across her shoulder. "Ew!" she cries out of genuine and merited disgust. The masquerade undone, the 9 foot tall man lets out a frightening bellow to summon his brother! The Wheately house on the edge of town explodes in a violent rain of splinters and glass! The skies darken, and a maddening voice cackles amongst a gathering tempest! Thunderous footsteps resonate across the entire town as an invisible beast roars through house after house, slaying any seeking what little protection that remains in this madness! Suddenly, the sickeningly pallid and sinister looking Wheately patriarch rises from the ruins! As the massive beast runs rampant through the poor hamlet, none can stop him as he begins to chant the darkest, most vile summoning ritual for Yog-Sothoth! With his infinite might, the earth will be rendered an eternal wasteland! Well! So much for rural hospitality. You pack up your car and head elsewhere.
 
Ah, summertime. A time of year when people like to curl up with a good book in the shade. You return from the Arkham library with your fiancee and a copy of Abdul Alhazred's latest release tucked under your arm. You lay back in a hammock on your porch and crack open the book for a good long read in the summer's gentle heat. Suddenly, you are overcome by a feeling that your entire body and mind are no longer your own! You are sucked through time and space and forced into the body of an alien race! It turns out they've been hijacking human bodies for millenia! They scurry about shouting portents of earth's demise! Their preparations are nearly complete and the knowledge they've assembled will be used for an exodus that will abandon the entire human race to be consumed by a titanic swarm of massive sentient insects! This ancient alien race has condemned humanity to a most grisly fate! Well! That's inconvenient. The alien returns you to your original body, which is behind the wheel of a vehicle that has plowed into a tree.
 
You call up your insurance agency to file a claim that you were possessed by an alien race capable of passing through time and space in order to swap bodies with a host. "InsuraCorp. Industries. My name is Nyarlathotep. Let me tell you how I'm going to direct your everything" the teller answers. You try working through your claim, but you hang up unsatisfied. You need to go on a dream-quest just to get to their offices, which sounds like quite a hassle.             
 
Death: At "you may now kiss the bride," you attempt to give your new wife a sweet kiss, only to discover that she is actually a shoggoth. Shoggoths, being extraordinarily aggressive sentient masses of liquid tissue biomass 15 feet in diameter, aren't exactly into cutesy stuff. Considering that her family is revealed to be Elder Things at the same moment, the wedding doesn't exactly go well after that. You perish at 43.
 
Last Words: Whatever they will be, they will be stated in an exorbitantly long monologue reflecting your lifetime of bizarre experiences using words that will make most thesauruses blush. Also, the words will be spoken with a British accent even if you don't have one.
 
Number: I'm sure the Elder Things could actually say this number, but human tongues cannot, and humanity will never understand its incredible significance.
 
Color: The Colour Out of Space
 
Wow, these are amazing.

1. Suwako Moriya
2. Nazrin
3. Nitori Kawashiro
4. Koishi Komeiji
5. Flandre Scarlet
6. Reimu Hakurei
7. Yumemi Okazaki
8. Cirno
9. Sukuna Shinmyoumaru
10. Satori Komeiji

Future: You travel to Africa to go tubing down part of the Nile river. Unfortunately, you get a child's size inner tube and get your butt stuck in it. However, you're not exactly thrilled to get back to a thankless job that pays under the table in animal crackers, so you decide to wait it out and allow yourself to float along at your leisure. Though you lack foreknowledge about what lies ahead, you can only guess as to how leisurely a trip it will be. Content with being alone, your friends bid you a fond farewell to you once finished with their journey and wish you the best of luck on your own, leaving you in the middle of nowhere with soggy popcorn and some warm Powerades. The popcorn doesn't exactly do the trick for very long and you decide to go fishing. Having exhausted your only source of bait, you wiggle your toes in an attempt to attract hapless fishies for some fresh sushi. While you manage to attract some attention, it happens to be in the form of a crocodile. Your crod rasslin' skills may be a bit rusty, but you wind up with a new croc-themed bathing suit in addition to something to eat on your trip. Relieved at the result of your encounter, you are filled with a renewed self-confidence that you can handle whatever the entire length of the Nile can throw at you. Unfortunately, you screwed up your reservations and are on the Zambezi river. You weren't ready for Victoria Falls, and it proves to be a most interesting experience.
 
Death: You survive the plummet and are still content with your life fused to a piece of inflatable Hello Kitty merchandise. You drift out to the Indian Ocean and remain there for years, catching fish at your leisure. However, decades on the seas take their toll, and you eventually fall ill. You paddle to Madagascar for help only to find they've shut down their only port out of fear that you're carrying a new form of plague. You die at 62.
 
Last Words: "Beats the pants off sitting at a desk for 40 years of work!" Not the best you could do, but true nonetheless.
 
Number: The square root of ham.
 
Color: Gamboge

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Validon98

  • Deathguard Night Sparrow
  • *
  • Harbingers, yo.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #133 on: November 12, 2013, 07:23:06 PM »
I love how I'm just going to be like: "...Well THAT happened. Oh well, let's move on, nothing to see here." I totally would not be running around panicking and flailing. No, not at all. :V
Derping at Touhou since June 2012, derping at RPing Touhou since Feburary 2013.

Devil of Decline Partial English Gameplay Patch!
Let's Play Nightmare of Rebellion!

draganuv15

Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #134 on: November 12, 2013, 08:35:34 PM »
Those bastards wouldn't have known theatre if it had set them on fire.

I'm glad I died so young.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2013, 08:58:44 PM by Endless Hunger »

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #135 on: November 14, 2013, 05:59:57 PM »
I'll get around to NNR's eventually!
1. Marisa Kirisame
2. Reimu Hakurei
3. Youmu Konpaku
4. Yukari Yakumo
5. Remilia Scarlet
6. Cirno
7. Sakuya Izayoi
8. Alice Margatroid
9. Fujiwara no Mokou
10. Byakuren Hijiri
What does the future holds for me?
7 of 8 are playable in IN. Just sayin'.
 
Future: You will become an astronomer working at a number of renowned observatories across the globe using a variety of types of telescopes. This includes the famous Arecibo Observatory radio telescope. Your love for your work shows as you put in long, restless days for the sake of your project. On one such night, you find yourself catching a bit of interference. Junk data? Noise? Necessary maintenance? No. Slowly, things come into focus and catch a faint glimpse of what seems to be a new undocumented meteor. Quickly, you calculate its velocity and trajectory and come to a horrible conclusion: The meteor has a formidable weight of approximately 25,000 metric tons and it's heading right towards the capital, San Juan. Time of impact? Too soon.
 
It's the dead of night. No one in the city hall will pick up their phones to alert the town to evacuate. Hurriedly, you grabs your work scrawled hastily upon a handful of scratch paper and dash for the door. Hopping into your car, you gun the engine. The tires screech, launching the car into the jungle. Dodging what little traffic there is at such an hour, you floor it down the highway, making phone calls the whole way. You finally reach San Juan's mayor and convey to her the gravity of the situation. Demanding your immediate presence, she gives you the address to her home as you barrel into town.
 
She greets you at the door while still in her PJ's and quickly demands an explanation of the situation. You provide all the information you have, laying it out on her hallway floor to get your point across ASAP. She understands, but needs to know how much time the city has left. Curses! Such information is lost in the pile of data! Your eyes dart about all the information you've provided. Finding a familiar scrap of paper, you trace your fingertip across your notes and find what you were looking for. Your calculated time of impact is... NOW! Knowing that your efforts were in vain and that doom will soon come crashing down upon the entire city, you flee. Hoping and praying and cursing you run in a vain attempt to escape the utter destruction that shall be wrought by the meteorite as it befalls the fair city. But you don't escape its wrath. The meteorite, broken down to the size of a dime, crashes into your nether regions at terminal velocity. Seems that you didn't do the math right and forgot that these things break up as they contend with earth's atmosphere.
 
Death: Clearly, you survived the incident, but that sort of luck won't happen all the time. You retire to a quiet rural town so you can stargaze at night. At 71 you notice another speck barreling down to earth. Out come the paper and mechanical pencil and you calculate the mass and trajectory of the object. Remembering your previous experience, you take the amount of mass lost into account this time. Unfortunately, you use it in your calculations twice. What you thought would be a golf ball sized rock turns out to be a comet as large as a station wagon which you wind up catching with your teeth.
 
Last Words: "Math never lies." It doesn't. You simply won't give it the right information.
 
Number: 8,675,309
 
Color: All colors featured in a standard box of 8 crayons.
 
Decided to use Touhou sort. 426 battles and all my nope later I got results :V
  • Yumemi Okazaki
  • Marisa Kirisame (PC-98 version to be precise)
  • Toyosatomimi no Miko
  • Kotohime
  • Hina Kagiyama
  • Nue Houjuu
  • Byakuren Hijiri
  • Satori Komeiji
  • Nitori Kawashiro
  • Koishi Komeiji
Wath priz awayt me?

Future: Y'know what's sweet? Life at the top. You know what's sweeter? Life at the top of the scientific world. With a few Ph.D.'s in your capable hands, you plow through the corporate ladder and soon rise to the top of a giant multidisciplined mega-company with a clientele that spans the globe and serves everyone from the smallest of the small to dictators. They rely upon you and your workers to bring them an extensive lineup of the most technologically advanced products the world over. While not without its troubles, your genius brings you success after success with each of your projects. With you at the reigns, things improve quickly. Worker morale shoots through the roof, as does production. Life is grand and things are going well, but life in any position of power does not go without its challenges, and you are caught unprepared for your first major challenge.
 
Audit time comes in out of nowhere in the form of a neatly-dressed stern woman with thin rectangular glasses and her hair in a bun. This stoic and strict woman from the FDA kicks down your doors with 12 worker bees, 25 laptops, 100 clipboards with fresh sheets of paper and enough red pens to grade the the entire collective works of a billion failing engineering students. Demanding entry, you let them in, and they disappear into your huge company's main campus. Out of nowhere, they emerge at the door to your office six weeks later after spending the entire time within your facilities. The stern woman has each of her assistants carry 50 pounds worth of paper covered in ink. Something tells you things weren't to her liking.
 
"During our visit to your facilities, we found 1,283,392 general non-compliances, 51,873 high priority CAPA issues, 782 OSHA compliance failures, 469 violations of human or animal rights, 72 Geneva convention violations and hobo in a bathroom offering to dance the Charleston for money. We would've gone into further depth in your vaccine production facility, but we found our way in barred by a goat who was being used a living coatrack for bras and panties. He was subsisting upon spent beer kegs and a stack of pizza boxes approximately 20 meters high. We tried to interview the director of the facility that you hired to work there, but he had passed out clutching to a bottle of gin. He was covered in chocolate syrup and seemed to have superglued one arm to his desk which was nailed to the ceiling. Our attempts to go elsewhere in your facilities were met with similar result considering that we are still awaiting blood test results to see if we have rabies. Sir, your company is listed as making everything from pharmaceuticals to explosives, yet we only found that your company makes candies in suggestive shapes and cheap beer. What exactly do you do here?" You pull up somebody else's pants (hot pants that say "juicy" on the backside no less) to cover your tra-la-la and slowly shrug to your audience with a guilty half-smile.
 
The rest of your days are spent behind a register at a fast food joint.
 
Death: You are given a massive order from a morbidly obese woman with 13 screaming children and you drown in a milkshake while trying to fulfill it at 60. notalwaysright.com has a field day with the woman's poor reaction to your demise.
 
Last Words: "Lady, you don't want to know what goes... into... the vanilla ones. URK!"
 
Number: 500
 
Color: If you go 1/6th of the speed of light, a red stoplight will look green. The more you know.
 
Fool, I choose my own fate!
...but it wouldn't hurt to check, right?
1. Reimu
2. Renko
3. Kosuzu
4. Kokoro
5. Sakuya
6. Marisa
7. Youmu
8. Akyuu
9. Rinnosuke
10. Raiko

Future: You prefer a quiet life. A very quiet life. The library is working for you. Nice, quiet, and you've got your quiet books that don't make noise unless you drop them. That's fine. But as the years at the library pass, things get noisy. Too noisy. It starts out simple enough. One person comes in, takes a book, asks you in a hushed tone if she can check it out, then leaves. That was bad enough. Soon, a few people arrive, leaf through books, then ask to check them out too! How disturbing! Soon mobs of people arrive to go through your massive collection of books! The nerve! Even parents drag a squadron of screaming little brats along so they can do their homework and get books for their book reports! That does it! That's the last straw! It's time to get QUIET up ins!
 
You wait. Patiently. For the day. To. End. Then, sloooooowly, your frayed nerves fire, allowing you to pry your finger from your desk. You stand up and take a slow, deep breath and get to work. Out come the shovels. Out come the trowels. As do the springs and buckets and towels. Not to mention a few things far more unpleasant than these. You heap your tools in a great pile and smile, fully prepared with what you are about to do. 
 
The next morning, you sit at your desk and wait. And wait. And wait some more. But there are no disturbances to be heard. Slowly, you get up from your seat, carefully avoiding the tripwires, spike pits, and certain tiles on the floor. You peer out the window and witness your handiwork. A net swings from a lamp post with a mother and two whiny kids in it. A street sign points to a fake entrance that sends vehicles rocketing down and off a ramp into a giant pool of tartar sauce. There is no one at the door until you see an old woman step on the pressure plate in front of it and she is launched into the local lake. You slowly creep back to your desk and sit down with your hands folded across your lap. A grin spreads over your face. Yes. Today shall be a quiet day indeed.
 
Death: Was making the alligator pit right below your desk that good of an idea? Really? You've survived all those who would take over your sanctum and live to 88.
 
Last Words: "DO NOT DAMAGE THE BOOKS!"
 
Number: 299.561
 
Color: Dust

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Phoenix_lostarr

  • mrgrgr
  • Rising from the ashes of an old dream~
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #136 on: November 14, 2013, 06:18:45 PM »
1. Yukari
2. Yuyuko
3. Youmu
4. Remilia
5. Flandre
6. Byakuren
7. Toyosatomimi no miko
8. Reimu
9. Marisa
10. Satori

Hit me, assbutt.

Shio Yamote

  • Like a Miko
  • OMG! Clipdeaths!
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #137 on: November 14, 2013, 07:46:16 PM »

Future: You will become an astronomer working at a number of renowned observatories across the globe using a variety of types of telescopes. This includes the famous Arecibo Observatory radio telescope. Your love for your work shows as you put in long, restless days for the sake of your project. On one such night, you find yourself catching a bit of interference. Junk data? Noise? Necessary maintenance? No. Slowly, things come into focus and catch a faint glimpse of what seems to be a new undocumented meteor. Quickly, you calculate its velocity and trajectory and come to a horrible conclusion: The meteor has a formidable weight of approximately 25,000 metric tons and it's heading right towards the capital, San Juan. Time of impact? Too soon.
 
It's the dead of night. No one in the city hall will pick up their phones to alert the town to evacuate. Hurriedly, you grabs your work scrawled hastily upon a handful of scratch paper and dash for the door. Hopping into your car, you gun the engine. The tires screech, launching the car into the jungle. Dodging what little traffic there is at such an hour, you floor it down the highway, making phone calls the whole way. You finally reach San Juan's mayor and convey to her the gravity of the situation. Demanding your immediate presence, she gives you the address to her home as you barrel into town.
 
She greets you at the door while still in her PJ's and quickly demands an explanation of the situation. You provide all the information you have, laying it out on her hallway floor to get your point across ASAP. She understands, but needs to know how much time the city has left. Curses! Such information is lost in the pile of data! Your eyes dart about all the information you've provided. Finding a familiar scrap of paper, you trace your fingertip across your notes and find what you were looking for. Your calculated time of impact is... NOW! Knowing that your efforts were in vain and that doom will soon come crashing down upon the entire city, you flee. Hoping and praying and cursing you run in a vain attempt to escape the utter destruction that shall be wrought by the meteorite as it befalls the fair city. But you don't escape its wrath. The meteorite, broken down to the size of a dime, crashes into your nether regions at terminal velocity. Seems that you didn't do the math right and forgot that these things break up as they contend with earth's atmosphere.
 
Death: Clearly, you survived the incident, but that sort of luck won't happen all the time. You retire to a quiet rural town so you can stargaze at night. At 71 you notice another speck barreling down to earth. Out come the paper and mechanical pencil and you calculate the mass and trajectory of the object. Remembering your previous experience, you take the amount of mass lost into account this time. Unfortunately, you use it in your calculations twice. What you thought would be a golf ball sized rock turns out to be a comet as large as a station wagon which you wind up catching with your teeth.
 
Last Words: "Math never lies." It doesn't. You simply won't give it the right information.
 
Number: 8,675,309
 
Color: All colors featured in a standard box of 8 crayons.
Wow you got it right! I always wanted (and I still want) to be an astronomer. I can't even imagine how I would react if I really see a meteor coming to earth. They don't scare me much because it justs crashes and boom everything ends in an instant, but it's still kinda creepy.
7 of 8 are playable in IN. Just sayin'.
Coincidence huh? IN is my favorite Touhou game too.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2013, 07:49:11 PM by Shio Yamote »
1cc's:
Normal: All
Hard: PCB, IN, TD
Lunatic: IN
Extras: EoSD, PCB Extra+Phantasm, IN, MoF, SA, UFO, TD

KuroArashi100

Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #138 on: November 14, 2013, 07:53:37 PM »

Future: You're the invisible man. *DUN* A freak lab accident has rendered you completely transparent. Not a soul alive can see you. Though you are initially taken aback by the experience, you clearly see the advantage and make use of your new abilities. You start out by stealing cookies and giving people atomic wedgies simply in order to watch them blame the only other person around. This gets a bit interesting when they pay a visit to Gran in the nursing home. You can even moon people without repercussions. The initial success you experience wind up further encouraging you to steal everything that isn't nailed down and prank everyone in town until things almost reach a point of municipal civil war. Yet in the end, everything is just a little unfulfilling.
 
Over time, you grow tired of being invisible. It's kinda tough being someone with no presence whatsoever and who is so easy to ignore. Soon, you realize just how lonely you've become, and you rush to find ways to let others know that you're there. First, you try playing music, but this makes conversation difficult and you occasionally offend tall individuals when you walk by with your favorite tune playing. Next, you try painting yourself each day only to find that you are allergic to it, especially in and around your eyes. Lastly, you go a week without bathing and roll around in whatever roadkill you can find, only to discover that being a walking source of stench that could knock a buzzard off a poopmobile from 100 paces seems to make everyone else disappear. Finally, you are ready to give up, and after spending a full year invisible and several months trying to make yourself visible again, you make a final concession: "Well, it looks like I'll have to start wearing clothes again just to be seen." You are quickly arrested and charged for several hundred accounts of indecent exposure.
 
Death: Things go pretty well from then on out. However, you need to go for brain surgery when you're 77 which proves to be a bit too difficult for the surgeon. Probably because you're INVISIBLE.
 
Last Words: "FLASH! AHHH~AHHHHHH!" Announcing your nakedity to an elderly woman whose house you've been creeping around is not a good idea when she's armed. She plugs you in the head with her late husband's shotgun.
 
Number: 13
 
Color: The same color as the emperor's new clothes.

But at least I get the prize for getting the most songs by Queen in one horoscope, right?

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #139 on: November 17, 2013, 09:36:26 PM »
1. Chen
2. Suika
4. Kogasa Tatara
5. Rin Kaenbyou (Orin)
6. Marisa Kirisame
7. Ran Yakumo
7. Utsuho Reiuji (Okuu)
9. Mystia Lorelei
10. Satori Komeji
Buddy, you forgot your number 3, so I'm going to assume that Cirno for convenience purposes.
 
Future:








Death:






Last Words:


Number:


Color:

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #140 on: November 17, 2013, 09:42:13 PM »
holy shit it just keeps getting better

Shadoweh

  • I will ahn~ vote count for you
  • *
  • The STRONGEST Day Effect
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #141 on: November 18, 2013, 11:37:38 AM »
NEKO THE POSTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE
GET OUT NOW


Kitten4u: "I'll say it plainly: THERE IS NO WAY SHADOWEH IS SCUM!" - A Balanced Game of Mafia

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #142 on: November 19, 2013, 01:35:56 PM »
Audit time at work. I'll have more time for these as the week progresses. Thanks for your patience.
This looks silly.
1. Youmu
2. Mokou
3. Keine
4. Yamame
5. Akyu
6. Genji
7. Yukari
8. Mystia
9. Iku
10. Sizuha
Honorary mention for Daiyousei.
Based completely on how I find their outfits and personalities (and mostly the former of these two), if I went by gameplay aspects it would've taken too long and some characters would've been an unfair advantage for having simply more material to go with (latter bosses compared to stage one bosses, TD compared to PCB, et cetera).
GHOST MEMBERS focused on FASHION.
 
Future: The world of FASHION is a harsh mistress. Time and again, each and every one of your creations is laughed off the runway. It's certainly tougher than what it ostensibly appeared to be. All throughout college and your many failed attempts at creating a wearable work of art have been flushed down the toilet. Be creative and the people will like it, right? Wrong. Judges are fickle. Style even moreso. Or maybe it's because your creations are an unmitigated disaster that's keeping you from your big break. I mean, the blouse and skirt combo made from downy-soft toilet paper with porcelain clogs should've hit off real big with the bathroom-going crowd. That's everyone, right? Fine. Next was the post-apocalypse-themed outfit which consisted of hubcaps, rusted metal plating, and rebar, but people complained that a 120 lb. set of clothes was too heavy. Conceding that some more conventional stuff might be necessary to get the positive attention you need, you muck around with some dull designs just to get your one big break. Finally, you get an invite to an event in Paris and showcase your magnum opus. It took year just to get enough spider silk to make an outfit and several months to make it, especially considering there were still spiders living in it as your model wore it onto the runway. Careful! They bite!
 
After the fashion show is over, the audience recovers from a collective freak-out and the showroom is covered with a thick layer of Bug Bomb. With your masterpiece considered a flop, you concede defeat. None of your great works have been positively received. However, several members of tonight's audience greet you as you slowly walk out the door for the final time with your head hanging low. They turn out to be part of an underground movement for unorthodox fashions who ask you to join their little club. After all, an independent rising star who's a wild card for the fashion scene would fit right in. They introduce themselves one by one and present their greatest creations: The granola gown goes great with the hungry gal on the go, the solar-powered skirt is great for anyone who needs to charge mobile devices, and the razor wire and taser-based undergarments do particularly well appealing to those worried about self-defense. Satisfied with your new group of friends, you set out to create your most well-received outfit - the mirror dress. It attracts the attention of everyone from those who appreciate the amount of effort and creativity you put into this wearable work of art to narcissistic jerks looking for another chance to take a selfie.
 
Death: You attempt to develop a fashion around bear fur. It doesn't go well.
Spoiler:
Your business flops for the final time and you retire poor and disappointed but still live to 79. Things didn't turn out so well for the poor chump who actually went to fetch the bear fur either.

Last Words: "By Prada's beard!"
 
Number: 183
 
Color: Chocolate & vanilla twist

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Edible

  • One part the F?hrer, one part the Pope
  • *
  • It's the inevitable return, baby
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #143 on: November 19, 2013, 08:15:44 PM »
NNR's is truly, unquestionably a work of art.

NekoNekoRex

  • Catgirls are Charming!
  • *
  • Catgirl Enthusiast
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #144 on: November 19, 2013, 09:23:41 PM »
I don't deserve something so beautiful.
Kilga is this right; like is this person seriously the player, and it's not some alias or something that's designed to be deliberately obfuscating? NekoNekoRex. Who the hell is that :C   ~Poya Aaaa (Serela), Bunny Must Die Mafia

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #145 on: November 20, 2013, 04:10:22 PM »
1.  Marisa Kirisame
2.  Watatsuki no Yorihime
3.  Yuuka Kazami
4.  Kasen Ibaraki
5.  Yuugi Hoshiguma
6.  Rumia
7.  Sekibanki
8.  Hong Meiling
9.  Seiga Kaku
10.  Tewi Inaba

Future: "Well, Bill, it looks like Phlegeth's got his work cut out for him. His tee shot landed him in some hot water here on the third hole and now he finds himself seven miles from the pin." "That's right Jim. How this ever happened in a professional golf tournament is beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Sure, that recent injury may have tightened the muscles in his arms, but who knew that it would lead to someone who could hit a ball at supersonic speed?" "Bill, it was a once-in-a-lifetime freak accident involving an I beam, a pot of rabbit stew, and a live power line that left him like this, but he seems to have benefitted from it to a certain degree." "Let me tell you, Jim, there are few players in the game today that can drive the ball 300 yards, let alone 300 miles. I'd say that his game would be better for it, but it seems to me there just aren't that many intercontinental par 5's in the game today either." "So true, Bill. So true. Y'know, since the injury, he's the first player in any tournament featured the world over to hit a ball into low earth orbit. Other dubious feats include having Russian missile systems attempt to shoot down the ball which it considered to be an ICBM, and an incident in which the friction of the ball against the air caused a forest fire. He's also the first golfer to consider the Gobi desert a sand trap and the Atlantic ocean a water hazard."
 
"Well, we'll see if his fate has changed today on this lovely Spring day in Florida. He's going for the only club in his bag, which is a driver capable of withstanding several thousand G's of force. He needs it considering the others tend to evaporate before they reach the ball. He also gives his caddie enough time to adjust the helmet on his bomb suit; a courtesy much appreciated since his previous one wound up lodged in a tree 50 yards away and can only eat through a straw now. He takes a few practices swings as the crowd dons their ear protection and padded kevlar. He's got a slight breeze out of the northwest which might prove problematic since the average air time for anything he hits can be several minutes or more. Let's see how he does... OHHHH! So much for that little old lady. That'll teach her to water her begonias on a fine Friday afternoon. Poor girl never saw it coming. I hope she's leaving Phlegeth out of the will for that one." "Ha ha! That's gotta hurt, Bill."
 
Death: You are so poorly received at certain country clubs because of your habit of offing the clientele that they build traps to get rid of you. You perish in a quicksand trap on the 15th hole of Sawgrass when you are 67 years old.
 
Last Words: "Mmmm... Open-faced club sand wedge."
 
Number: 981. It's your handicap. Or the number of people you leave handicapped. It's a bit fuzzy.
 
Color: Bright orange so you can find your ball in the snow aound the arctic circle.
 
Why has it taken this long for me to pop my head in here?
1. Shinki
2. Rumia
3. Yuuka
4. Kogasa
5. Elly
6. Seiga
7. Seija
8. Rika
9. Yukari
10. Remilia

Future: You stumble home late one night while drunk beyond human comprehension. You're not in a much of a position to do anything, but you meander along the streets of New York City in a stupor. You eventually wander to an overpass and your complete lack of pathfinding abilities leads you to walk over the edge. You drop 20 feet and land headfirst on top of a limousine so hard that you crumple the top part of the car. It comes to a screeching halt at the side of the road. You're so dulled by the alcohol that the concussion barely makes you flinch, and you wobbily stand up and have a long, blurry look at the limousine before lurching over to the side of the car. You notice that the side window has shattered from your impact, giving you a full view of a figure slumped over in his seat. As soon as you glimpse at the figure, the surviving passengers exit the vehicle. They are clothed in the finest suits and sport gloves and sunglasses despite it being a warm night. They have also been shaved completely bald.

They quickly march in front of you and stand straight upright, shoulder-to-shoulder in front of the dead passenger. You feel a bit of tension in the air, which is the first form sensation that you have had in your body since you stat down at the bar 7 hours ago. Suddenly, one begins to speak: "Sir," he says in a deep, weathered monotone. "The deceased individual you have seen was a person of extreme importance. Someone who was guarded at all times and whose very existence has remained a secret to the world for ages, but we believe you already know this. To think that someone such as yourself managed to fatally wound such a protected individual speaks volumes of your knowledge of the world as well as your ability and initiative. Clearly the reconnaissance you have gathered on our organization also displays the depth of your connections and their ability. We acknowledge your magnificence by offering you what you've clearly worked so hard to earn. Congratulations. You are the new leader of the Illuminati."

The world is a fun, fun place for the next 15 years.

Death: [REDACTED]
 
Last Words: [REDACTED]
 
Number: Majestic 12
 
Color: Black

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16

Phlegeth

  • DPS LFG
  • Time expired: 121:45
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #146 on: November 20, 2013, 07:04:56 PM »
I made golf fun to watch.  And I lost at the Gobi Desert just being a huge sand trap.

xJeePx

  • Danmaku Aesthete
  • 夢幻王子
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #147 on: November 21, 2013, 12:10:58 AM »
01. Kotohime
02. Yuyuko
03. Kaguya
04. Meira
05. Youmu
06. Reimu
07. Eirin
08. Yumemi
09. Meiling
10. Komachi

Raikaria

  • Do Tank Girls Dream...
  • *
  • Of Floating Eyeballs?
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #148 on: November 21, 2013, 07:31:47 PM »
Future: You stumble home late one night while drunk beyond human comprehension. You're not in a much of a position to do anything, but you meander along the streets of New York City in a stupor. You eventually wander to an overpass and your complete lack of pathfinding abilities leads you to walk over the edge. You drop 20 feet and land headfirst on top of a limousine so hard that you crumple the top part of the car. It comes to a screeching halt at the side of the road. You're so dulled by the alcohol that the concussion barely makes you flinch, and you wobbily stand up and have a long, blurry look at the limousine before lurching over to the side of the car. You notice that the side window has shattered from your impact, giving you a full view of a figure slumped over in his seat. As soon as you glimpse at the figure, the surviving passengers exit the vehicle. They are clothed in the finest suits and sport gloves and sunglasses despite it being a warm night. They have also been shaved completely bald.

They quickly march in front of you and stand straight upright, shoulder-to-shoulder in front of the dead passenger. You feel a bit of tension in the air, which is the first form sensation that you have had in your body since you stat down at the bar 7 hours ago. Suddenly, one begins to speak: "Sir," he says in a deep, weathered monotone. "The deceased individual you have seen was a person of extreme importance. Someone who was guarded at all times and whose very existence has remained a secret to the world for ages, but we believe you already know this. To think that someone such as yourself managed to fatally wound such a protected individual speaks volumes of your knowledge of the world as well as your ability and initiative. Clearly the reconnaissance you have gathered on our organization also displays the depth of your connections and their ability. We acknowledge your magnificence by offering you what you've clearly worked so hard to earn. Congratulations. You are the new leader of the Illuminati."

The world is a fun, fun place for the next 15 years.

Death: [REDACTED]
 
Last Words: [REDACTED]
 
Number: Majestic 12
 
Color: Black

This is gold; silver; and platinum.

I wonder what happened to Majestic 1 though 10.

I can guess what happened to 11.

Now excuse me I'm off to New York to get hammered.  :P

Also cool my Age is the same as Yukari's. After all Yukarin is [REDACTED] years old!

I'll stop now.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2013, 07:33:55 PM by Raikaria »


http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/tribute/
I don't even remember who put the above in my sig. [Wasn't me] Nor do I understand why I keep it here anymore.
Those two facts sum me up pretty well.

Reddyne

  • Give me love and money. I have the rest already.
  • *
  • Love and money coming from you is what I need.
Re: That's your Touhouroscope for today
« Reply #149 on: November 22, 2013, 05:52:31 PM »
Majestic 12 is actually a nod to Deus Ex.
Hat, ring, etc.
1- Byakuren Hijiri
2- Yuyuko Saigyouji
3- Reimu Hakurei
4- Suika Ibuki
5- Kyouko Kasodani
6- Keine Kamishirasawa
7- Fujiwara no Mokou
8- Shikieiki Yamaxanadu
9- Kasen Ibara
10- Suwako Moriya

Future: Oh, no! A superstorm has wiped out your entire town! The good news is that it also wiped out your job. You wander about town, thankful that your home is one of the few that was spared amongst a slew of toppled trees, smashed houses, and crushed cars. With work out of the picture, what to do with your time becomes a pretty easy choice - help those who could use a helping hand. Mrs. Danvers has lost her cat? Aw, the poor guy was scared and was hiding under a porch down the street. The Leominsters could use an emergency energy hookup? Why, you're glad to help.

Isn't helping nice? It sure is! But you have a rival. A rival who's tough, stern, by-the-book, and won't lose to you if her life depended on it because the lives of others depend on hers. You first meet eyes as each of you carry a massive box of non-perishables to your neighbors. You want to cover the most ground the fastest, so you take off running. You're running and handing out goods like the motherfuckin' FIST OF THE NORTH STAR! She may have beat you to the end of the street, but it doesn't stop there. Next is the bake sale to raise funds for those hurt in the disaster. You won't lose! You're baking! Your baking WICKED AWESOME red velvet oatmeal butterscotch cookies with French vanilla and fudge swirl frosting like the mothafuckin' FIST AH DAH NOATH STAH! This time, you beat her by raising $1,839,327,298 to her $1,839,326,993. But it's not over! The locals need fresh water and the local water supply has been contaminated due to the devastation. What to do? Why, fill all the pools in town with water and filter them by hand. You're removing impurities! You're removing microscopic granules, lead, and microbes from the water with your BARE HANDS like the motherfuckin' FIST OF DAAA NAHTH STAR DONCHA KNOW?!

It's still not quite enough, though. Many are hurt, more are without shelter, and everyone's without the regular comforts of life. The both of you volunteer to help. "Please save us, sir!" an aid worker shouts. "We're in desperate need to house the homeless and triage the wounded!" DONE! Then a middle-aged man approaches you. "Listen, you gotta help, our entire street is a mess and we could all use new homes." FINISHED! A hipster draws near and says "Hey bro, the fam could really use some places to buy mocchachinos, listen to vinyl records from bands you've never heard of, and buy organic veggies at a locally-grown farmer's market." IRONIC'D! Finally, a dapper gent in a top hat and coat with tails approaches you. "My good man, my mansion could use another several rooms and I would quite like a 5 star hotel and restaurant with a seaside view if you don't mind." 99%'D!

Completely exhausted after 47 straight days of labor, the two of you collapse on each other. You are both brought to a hospital where you compete with one another to see who can make the most ornate origami flower display for recovering victims. The two of you get hitched later I guess.
 
Death: At 110 while attempting to fight off dozens of sharks in the arctic ocean in order to save an entire cruise ship filled with blind, deaf, disabled, and mentally handicapped people with terminal cancer.
 
Last Words: "Yeooouch! Seafood soup is NOT on the menu!" Puns would've followed. Your mind is more than a bit addled by dementia at that point.
 
Number: Meh. I'm not going to go with the obvious one, so let's just use whatever tonight's Powerball numbers are.
 
Color: White

TA-DAAAAAAA! 61 blood donations and counting! 
Best Mile: 5:30
Best 5k: 18:07
Best Marathon: 3:23:16