Jojo's Bizarre Grail War Part 4 : A Z-Machine Adventure

[Stuffman]

> We are going north to the University of Delaware, to steal us a Dancing Plant.
> "Archer, did I show you how to use google maps yet?"

[Hello Purvis]

> We are going north to the University of Delaware, to steal us a Dancing Plant.
> "Archer, did I show you how to use google maps yet?"

>"No," she says. "I've seen a couple, though."

>_

[Stuffman]

> Let's pull over for a sec and lean over to show her on the phone.
> "Okay, here's the gist of it. You bring up the map from the main page like this...the search bar is still up in the corner here, see? So you can put something in there, let's say, 'breakfast buffet'. And some locations will pop up for you to look through."
> "Let's scroll up the highway a bit to get away from town...look for a place just off the highway with a decent rating, and...here, we'll try this place."

[Hello Purvis]

> Let's pull over for a sec and lean over to show her on the phone.
> "Okay, here's the gist of it. You bring up the map from the main page like this...the search bar is still up in the corner here, see? So you can put something in there, let's say, 'breakfast buffet'. And some locations will pop up for you to look through."
> "Let's scroll up the highway a bit to get away from town...look for a place just off the highway with a decent rating, and...here, we'll try this place."

>You pull over on the not-too-busy road leading back to town.
>"That looks a lot less complicated than I thought," Archer says, as she looks over the map. Then she reaches over and fiddles with the scrollbar a bit. "So what does it tell us for fight locations?"

>_

[Stuffman]

> "Ah, for that...we use the satellite button." Press it.
> "That changes the map to an actual picture, so we can see what the area looks like. It's not super detailed, but you can get an idea of what kind of cover is around."

[Hello Purvis]

> "Ah, for that...we use the satellite button." Press it.
> "That changes the map to an actual picture, so we can see what the area looks like. It's not super detailed, but you can get an idea of what kind of cover is around."

>"Why aren't you just asking it, though?" Archer says, as she looks at the satellite map.

>_

[Stuffman]

> "Oh, uh, it mostly only knows locations of businesses and public property. It's not really able to evaluate something like that."
> "Although now I'm curious."
> Search for "fight locations".

[Hello Purvis]

> "Oh, uh, it mostly only knows locations of businesses and public property. It's not really able to evaluate something like that."
> "Although now I'm curious."
> Search for "fight locations".

>"If it knows where to find everything, it ought to have a good idea where it's best to fight, right?"
>Checking it out of curiosity you get: a couple gyms, a couple outdoors gear places, a few yoga studios, a couple clothing stories, a massage therapist, some shoe stores, two hotels, and a Victoria's Secret at the very bottom. Wow.

>_

[Stuffman]

> "The information it has access to is based on the information provided by businesses and organizations about themselves, plus what people have said about them."
> "For instance, the best answer it gave me here is a boxing gym, since that's really the only business associated with fighting."
> "It's not perfect, either. It'll give you a bunch of garbage answers in addition to what you're looking for, so you need to scrutinize it."
> "Like, uh, these clothing stores, for instance. It probably listed those because someone mentioned that somebody got in a fight there, or something like that...although I guess there are worse places to fight than a JCPenney."

[Hello Purvis]

> "The information it has access to is based on the information provided by businesses and organizations about themselves, plus what people have said about them."
> "For instance, the best answer it gave me here is a boxing gym, since that's really the only business associated with fighting."
> "It's not perfect, either. It'll give you a bunch of garbage answers in addition to what you're looking for, so you need to scrutinize it."
> "Like, uh, these clothing stores, for instance. It probably listed those because someone mentioned that somebody got in a fight there, or something like that...although I guess there are worse places to fight than a JCPenney."

>"Not too many trees, though," Archer says.  "So this thing is like a guy just living in a cave, huh?"

>_

[Stuffman]

> "I would say it's like a guy living in a giant library, but he can barely read, so when you ask him for something he just brings back a pile of books he thinks are related to what you asked for."

[Hello Purvis]

> "I would say it's like a guy living in a giant library, but he can barely read, so when you ask him for something he just brings back a pile of books he thinks are related to what you asked for."

>"Weird," she says. "They should get someone who knows what they're doing instead."

>_

[Stuffman]

> Is she joking or does she think there's a literal single guy answering our queries? ...Better not get into it.
> Give Archer the phone. "Here, you can try messing around with it."
> Get back on the road.

[Hello Purvis]

> Is she joking or does she think there's a literal single guy answering our queries? ...Better not get into it.
> Give Archer the phone. "Here, you can try messing around with it."
> Get back on the road.

>You do suspect there's some element of this that is eluding her.
>"Okay, let's see what this thing can tell me. We'll see if it's smarter than that Wikipedia."
>You get back on the road, and it's a fairly easy route to get to your destination. Traffic is not particularly good, but you manage. The Smyrna Cafe turns out to be set int he corner of a shopping centre, and the interior is a bit more modern-looking than the mid-twentieth century style you were imagining. It is also crowded to the gills, and little mistaking why. You never expect breakfast buffets to be particularly high quality, but it seems this place put a fair amount of care into it. And the clientele is well aware of them; many assault that buffet as if it were the first meal they've had in days. You certainly aren't shy about it yourself. Archer is fairly reserved at first, but once she notes that the buffet gets refilled, she decides to make the most of it herself.
>You are about midway through your second round when Archer's head suddenly perks up. "Lily, there's a servant near here!" She looks like she's about to say more when someone walks through the front doors. Your eyes are immediately drawn to his brown suit as he walks toward you, in a style and cut that would have been the height of fashion about a century ago, and could probably still pass today. Under his jacket is a collared shirt and a muted tie, much like the suit itself.  He is a stout man, just a smidge taller than average height, just past middle age. His face is wide and blocky, wearing pince-nez glasses and well-trimmed but bushy mustache. A wide-brimmed hat, also brown, rests on his head and carries a simple-looking cane of dark wood. There is no mistaking this man, you've seen his face numerous times over your life, and it is carved into the very rock of this country.
>"Excuse me, young ladies," Theodore Roosevelt says as he approaches your table. "But I would like to join you for just a few moments, if you would."
>Information update: Saber

>_

[Suwako Moriya]

And here I thought that if there was gonna be any Roosevelt, it'd be Franklin as Berserker.

EDIT: Though I suppose that this doesn't make that impossible!

[Stuffman]

Holy shit.

> "Uh...I'd feel a bit better about it if your m-- associate was here, but I guess I'm not in a position to complain."
> "Coffee?"
> Check info.

[Hello Purvis]

Holy shit.

> "Uh...I'd feel a bit better about it if your m-- associate was here, but I guess I'm not in a position to complain."
> "Coffee?"
> Check info.

>"No need for that, I don't intend to take too much of your time," he says, as he has a seat. You notice that rest of the diners have taken notice of Saber, and there is definitely some mirth going around in response. "Rather, I need to speak with you two about stepping out of this war."
>Saber: Theodore Roosevelt
>Strength: A   
>Mana: C
>Endurance:   B   
>Luck: A
>Agility: B   
>N. Phantasm: A++      
>Class skills:
>>Magic Resistance: A
>>Riding: B
>Personal skills:
>>Charisma:   A+
>>Instinct: A
>>Gunboat Diplomacy: A
>Noble Phantasm:
>>Rough Rider
>Theodore Roosevelt was the 26th president of the United States, and left a huge impact on the modern world. Beginning his career as a soldier and a historian, he found his way into politics in New York, eventually serving in a variety of offices before becoming president of the United States due to the assassination of William McKinley. He was born a sickly child, but managed to overcome this by leading a strenuous and vigorous lifestyle that defined his public persona, taking on something of a cowboy's air to his approach. His policies set into effect an end to the Gilded Age's monopolies, as well as a start of American imperialism in South America, Southeast Asia, and other places. While his military service was mostly in fairly small conflicts, he served with distinction, and carried a belief that every man must be a soldier in order to truly be a man, an idea that would be tested to the limit as World War 1 defined what modern warfare would look like. He is lionized as a vigorous opponent of American corruption, cronyism, and exploitation, and identified also a tireless exporter of these things into other parts of the world. In his era, he was also lambasted as a buffoon who tried to reform standardized spelling, among other things, but these have largely been forgotten.

>_

[Stuffman]

> "Do you have any terms to offer, or is this just a formality? Because I'm sure you know we can't just surrender and walk away even if you ask nicely."
> Examine skills and noble phantasm.

[Hello Purvis]

> "Do you have any terms to offer, or is this just a formality? Because I'm sure you know we can't just surrender and walk away even if you ask nicely."
> Examine skills and noble phantasm.

>"I am open to hear your terms, of course," Saber says.
>Magic Resistance:  Grants protection against magical effects. Differing from the Resistance effect that merely rejects Magical Energy, this ability cancels the spells altogether
>Riding:  A Class Skill of Rider and Saber class Servants, denoting the ability to ride mounts and vehicles. Rider-class Servants will typically possess a high rank. It is said that dragon type mounts are an exception, requiring a different ability other than Riding
>Charisma:   A composite Skill consisting of a person's charm as well as the natural talent to command or unify an army or country. Increases the ability of allies during group battles. A rare talent, and an ability inherent to Servants of the Saver class
>Instinct:  The ability to instantly identify ?the best personal course of action? during combat. Because this Skill allows for the prediction of trajectory, it is possible to avoid attacks from firearms
>Gunboat Diplomacy:  A talent unique to Theodore Roosevelt, this ability leverages his considerable personal charm with with his penchant for applying force to obtain reactions and solutions that are typically outside of what others would be willing to do. This can serve him well in combat, wherein he can intimidate many opponents into making mistakes.
>Noble Phantasm: Rough Rider - Theodore Roosevelt never had a single weapon or action particularly associated with his personal legend, but rather his entire life and way of life contributed to it. As such, he is able to draw upon things that can be associated with his life and and times to serve as his weapon of choice. Accordingly, this may be an anti-unit or anti-fortress Noble Phantasm, depending on his weapon of choice, taking on aspects suitable to his legend despite mundane construction. Items that are too modernized will not work.

>_

[Stuffman]

> Send to Archer: "For fuck's sake, it's ANOTHER servant that you can't shoot."
> "No, unless there are any circumstances you think would convince me otherwise, I think we've got no choice but to fight. But I'd prefer to do it in a civilized fashion by setting a time and place."

[Hello Purvis]

> Send to Archer: "For fuck's sake, it's ANOTHER servant that you can't shoot."
> "No, unless there are any circumstances you think would convince me otherwise, I think we've got no choice but to fight. But I'd prefer to do it in a civilized fashion by setting a time and place."

>"We'll just have to catch him in the woods," Archer sends back.
>"That is shameful, but I understand," says Saber. "I will have you know, nonetheless, that we will not be affording any particular mercy. There is no shame in backing away."

>_

[Stuffman]

> "Are you saying you want to do this now? Because I'd really like to finish my breakfast first."

[Hello Purvis]

> "Are you saying you want to do this now? Because I'd really like to finish my breakfast first."

>"Oh, hardly," he says. exhaling and making his mustache billow out a little. "We'd of course meet once the sun has set and the good people are safely away, I understand that's how these sorts of things are handled."

>_

[Stuffman]

> "I'm glad we can agree to that much."
> "Well, here's my offer. There's a parking lot near the tip of Cape Henlopen. We'll meet you tomorrow night on the beach just east of it."
> "I still have some business to take care of, so if you want me any sooner than that you'll have to find us."

[Hello Purvis]

> "I'm glad we can agree to that much."
> "Well, here's my offer. There's a parking lot near the tip of Cape Henlopen. We'll meet you tomorrow night on the beach just east of it."
> "I still have some business to take care of, so if you want me any sooner than that you'll have to find us."

>He chuckles. "Oh no, my dear. I'm afraid we won't be falling for that one. We'll find you when we're adequately prepared."

>_

[Stuffman]

> Mutter "nuts" under our breath.
> "Well, until then, Mr. Roosevelt."
> "Oh, by the way, you didn't happen to run into Berserker on the way here, did you?"

[Hello Purvis]

> Mutter "nuts" under our breath.
> "Well, until then, Mr. Roosevelt."
> "Oh, by the way, you didn't happen to run into Berserker on the way here, did you?"

>"You're a very confident young lady," Saber says with an approving nod. "My daughter would have approved of you, I think."
>"Berserker? No, I'm afraid I haven't," he says.  "Or if I have, he's a slippery bugger."

>_

[Stuffman]

> "He's the opposite of slippery, but thanks anyway."
> @Archer: "Archer, I swear to god, at this rate we're going to have to personally beat every single servant ourselves."
> "My name is Lily. I'd wish you luck, but...you know. May the best man win." Offer a handshake.

[Hello Purvis]

> "He's the opposite of slippery, but thanks anyway."
> @Archer: "Archer, I swear to god, at this rate we're going to have to personally beat every single servant ourselves."
> "My name is Lily. I'd wish you luck, but...you know. May the best man win." Offer a handshake.

>He nods and takes your hand, shaking it firmly. "Don't worry, I can promise there won't be any of that funny ambush business. Rather, you might not see us coming, but you'll see us plain as day before we do anything."

>_

[Stuffman]

> "I understand. Archer's no slouch, so be ready for a challenge."