I thought about not showing up until I could flood the uploader with PCB runs from every difficulty (Phantasm probably not included), and a 3.5 billion SA Lunatic/Reimu-A run tossed in as well. That was before T's run showed up. Plus, it's hard to map out the future with this. Very fickle with these games, just like how I spent a little time with that EoSD Extra run and I'm already not sure if I'll go back to it. There's so much to improve on, but I don't know if I want it. And the goal for Lunatic is all speculation because I've never, ever practiced the stages for survival. Well, maybe back when I was going for the first clear, but there was a wide gap between that first clear and the next, and I've been winging every run after that. Watching those top scoreruns with Reimu-A so much sure makes this low goal seem easy, though! I'll be happy if I can at least sit around three billion, whenever that urge to play this comes up.
Extra - ReimuA
Heartbeam - 1,047,520,960 - C - 0.100% -
ReplayExtra - ReimuB
Heartbeam - 1,004,773,940 - C - 0.080% -
ReplayExtra - ReimuC
Heartbeam - 1,012,453,310 - C - 0.370% -
ReplayExtra - MarisaA
Heartbeam - 1,019,558,540 - C - 0.100% -
ReplayExtra - MarisaB
Heartbeam - 1,008,841,220 - C - 0.260% -
ReplayExtra - MarisaC
Heartbeam - 1,008,213,550 - C - 0.100% -
ReplayLunatic - ReimuC
Heartbeam - 1,280,673,860 - C - 0.120% -
ReplayLunatic - MarisaC
Heartbeam - 1,001,448,360 - C - 0.180% -
ReplayOnly took over a year to raise the Lunatic score 20M. Nah, Extra was locked again and I thought, "May as well run it on this level."
What's there to say about Extra after not seeing it in over a year? It was fun again, but the main detriment had always been properly safespotting Sanae's final spell card. This time I had a real plan and used the spell capture bonus of the previous spell to position myself. It's still very delicate, but at least you
know where to go. With the threat of that lessened considerably I could time down Sanae's first two spells without worrying about wasting my efforts.
Reimu A and B will have it hardest because their options can't deal most of the damage from that position, meaning the main shot has to hit while still trying to graze all five arrays. It's a hassle, and in my early runs I'd move down and only graze three of the arrays until I took out most of the spell's health. Trying to get yourself to tap down a single pixel just doesn't happen. The submitted Reimu-A run only did four arrays while taking down the spell. The Reimu-C run that came after not only safespotted the spell on the first try, but also had the main shot hitting. Overkill, but she deserves it (not really, not
this of all things) because that shot type took the most attempts to pass the stage portion, thanks to the wonky options sometimes not lining up during the drop-down kunai fairies until I learned to take a hit in graze and stay focused most of the time.
Rorschach in Danmaku was an interesting one, and by now I think I've mostly learned to handle it (don't dodge in the middle of the waves all the time). Before this I only had one capture. So much fear built up around until I almost couldn't stand before it. And now I'm tired of typing about this, and the post is dull as a rock. Moving on.
Thanks to someone's flattering comment I'm suddenly more conscious of what I'm blogging about. Not really, I'll go on as before, as though there were no judges, and dump another life story of little consequence.
The idea was to evaluate myself then sever most connections for a short while, a month or two. Change how I handle the situation and set my priorities straight. The situation, hard to say...is it the relation between people? Comparisons? As someone who doesn't normally look up to meet the eyes of other people, perceived relations are prone to the distortions of the doubting mind.
Let's start somewhere else. Why do I...do this. Play it like this. From the very beginning I always wanted to compete. Not heavily like world class, just compete with others. That's how it's been, taking it slowly and I'm here because I've stayed on this one subject most of the way. So why did I start to feel like I was caught up in a race with people I'm not even directly involved with? A race of merit. Plenty of great players have come and gone, and when someone does
something in a shorter timeframe than I did, no matter how I went about doing it quickly or slowly, it suddenly invalidates everything I've ever done. The longer I've known and continue to participate in these games, the more I'm supposed to accomplish. Doesn't matter if I quit playing in between or anything. I mean, progression and achieving is good, but here I'm looking a person thinking, if that person was around as long as I was then they'd be farther ahead and I was inferior as a human all along. It's a stupid comparison to make, and that's what I was doing since...must have been shortly after UFO. I didn't stick with the game because I thought I didn't want that much of a challenge, and stayed in the skill race always at last place. Just about every score was a lie because I never directly competed with anyone. Chasing after old stationary runs from scorerunners who left before I decided to sign up.
I always liked
Krim's signature. A pretty obvious life lesson, or that's why it's so easy to overlook because a lot of people out there don't seem to abide by that message. My plan, then, was to temporarily quit visiting the forums because it feels like standing in a crowd. If I stayed away I could learn to not care so much about how I'm doing compared to everyone else. There's no rush to finish anything. There was no good reason for me to want to reach 41M in GFW so soon (aside from ending the nightmare I put myself in, but that's a prioritizing issue). Safe for me to assume that no one will bat an eye at a score going up on the 15th instead of the 16th. My world won't fall out of place if I don't recover my (sorry to use you as an example) EoSD Extra score from nearly being beaten within the day. I'll do it when I feel like it (which happened to be today), not because I
must. These games are fleeting, we'll all move on. I think I'll cut it here for now, but I know I didn't cover everything.
Actually, yeah, I shouldn't have been following the uploader (Royalflare is okay) because I wasn't supposed to know what people around me were doing (congratulations on the no-focus UFO run, Naut!). Which is why I jumped back in when T showed up because I like him so much.
And I wanted to cover something else, but I'm done typing for tonight. Maybe it'll go with a future score submission.
So I was talking about being below other people, doesn't that apply the other way around? And the answer would be, "But they're not in a race." And no race should exist at all in my mind, not to me. Not intolerable of others, despite the fact that most of the Extra runs were submitted under a handle that some may consider to be spiteful. It's a pointless product of boredom.
