STUFFMAN'S CHUUNI CHALLENGE

[Stuffman]

I put all my thread titles in allcaps because it makes me feel important



Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to STUFFMAN'S CHUUNI CHALLENGE. Inspired by the delightful new anime Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai, the object of this contest is the craft the best shitty self-insert character you can manage, as if it were freshly wrought by the hands of an edgy 13-year-old weeaboo.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is twofold.

1) Write a bio about your character. The more stupidly melodramatic, the better. Be sure to include basic data like the character's titles, their different forms, their multiple hair colors, their elements, their weapons (if you have only one you're doing it wrong!), etc, and then go into detail about their dark past, how they acquired their cursed demonic powers, and the tragic burden they now bear.
2) Draw a picture of your character. This is mandatory, but fear not - the goal is to be as shitty as possible! You want to recreate the unique type of QUALITY that only an unskilled middle schooler can bring to bear. If you are actually a good artist, you should deliberately try to make your drawing bad. If you lack a scanner or anything of the sort with which to show a drawn picture, you may use MSPaint.

The rule of thumb is: Your entry should be as terrible as possible, but it should also look like as much effort went into it as possible, as if you were actually in 8th grade and thought whatever piece of crap you just made was awesome.

You may publically post your entries in this thread as you complete them.

JUDGING
You must have your entries in by October 31.

I will personally judge each entry and select a single winner by whatever arbitrary criteria I have in mind at the time.

The winner will get to select one of the following prizes:
- Three pictures drawn by yours truly, of whatever your heart desires.
- If you hate my art you can have a $10 Steam game instead ;_;

CHUUNI TIPS!
- Your character should be a middle schooler (maaaybe a high schooler), and of course know better than all the foolish adults around him/her.
- Remember to be as edgy as possible! Nobody can understand your character's suffering. For instance, there is no excuse for your character's parents to be alive (unless they are villains).
- In designing your character's outfit, the more black, the better. A trenchcoat is almost a given.
- Be sure to name all your weapons and special attacks. If they're unreasonably verbose, all the better. Also try using pointless, improperly used foreign words.
- Feel free to toss in references to whatever crappy anime or music you were a fan of at that time period.
- Any good chuuni character should have a FINAL FORM or ULTIMATE ATTACK. Be sure to include whatever the terrible consequences (i.e. cheap drama) for using it are.

[pineyappled]

What format does the bio have to be in?

[Stuffman]

Just a text dump is fine. If you want maximum authenticity points, put it on your picture in your own handwriting.

[AnonymousPondScum]

BY KHORNE, IT WILL BE DONE!

[pineyappled]

Just a text dump is fine. If you want maximum authenticity points, put it on your picture in your own handwriting.

I meant like a list or a text wall.

[Pesco]

- If you hate my art you can have a $10 Steam game instead ;_;

One month probation for anyone that chooses this prize.

[HakureiSM]

One month probation for anyone that chooses this prize.

Aye.

Also I have not watched this, is it necessary to in order to come up with the self insert?

[PX]

Oh god I don't want to remember the shit I did back then ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Stuffman]

I meant like a list or a text wall.

I meant a mix of both (a list of vital information and a story to go with it), but honestly feel free to present the information however you see fit. If you want to write a gigantic wall of text, more power to you.

Also I have not watched this, is it necessary to in order to come up with the self insert?

No, but watch the Youtube link in the OP to get an idea of how stupid it's supposed to be.

[Amraphenson]

Make yourself remember all the stupid shit you did: the contest.
alright. doing it. reviving my old stupid ASPEICT shit. brace thineself for bullshittery.

[Mootsies]

Interesting..
My chuuni blood boils once again.
Also, handwritings are fine rite?

[PX]

Remember, the more German used the better :V

[JT]

Oh man. If only I still had some of my real drawings from middle school and turned in one of those, I would have this thing in the fucking bag.

Anyway, I'll see what I can cook up. This should be fun.

[Jam-Kiske]

I still have all my stuff from these phase of my life, but it's at home so I can't get it before the deadline. >:

[Jana]

If you told me where, I could probably scan it for you, bro.

I miiight do something for thus, but I'm super-busy lately. We'll see~

[NekoNekoRex]

In middle school I was writing stories about superhero animals and playfighting with inanimate objects, but I don't think I ever came up with something myse-

oh wait there's that "evil overlord" personae I came up with. Hmmm

[Error]

One month probation for anyone that chooses this prize.

why is that?

[Fightest]

why is that?

Because stuffs is a pretty good artist and by not taking his pictures you are hurting his feelings.

Also, have idea, will travel.

[trancehime]

it is time to revive that one RP character i made when i was 10

...

the bullshit edition mk iii

[Fightest]

The rest of you are TOO SLOW!

The tale of SAINT AJAX SHIMMERSCALE!



Background

There used to be more MAGIC in the world, and people used to be KIND and RIGHTEOUS. It was in that GOLDEN AGE that a BABY DRAGON was found on the peak of Mt. ARARAT  by a pair of ANGELS. They raised him as their own, teaching him to be GOOD and VIRTUOUS, also SMART and CLEVER because angels have all the knowledge of humanity.

But this was not to last! It is an ancient secret known only to few that DRAGONS are metaphorical manifestations of all the EVILS and VICES of humanity, and soon these became so great that LOTS OF DRAGONS appeared and attacked HEAVEN in what was the most awesome battle that could ever happen.

Because GOOD triumphing over EVIL happens only in stories for babies, the DRAGONS won, and killed all the ANGELS, including the BABY DRAGON'S parents. He only managed to survive because the LOVE of his parents made him invisible to the DRAGONS. The horror of what happened IN FRONT OF HIS EYES forever blinded him, however.

At the age of eight, after training every day and every night on his own in the mountains he took his sword, SOULS RIPPER and, one by one, killed ALL THE DRAGONS to avenge his parents and also destroy the EVILS of the world. But it was too late, because now the DRAGONS were inside every human on the planet.

Because he was taught not to kill, he took up the name SAINT AJAX SHIMMERSCALE and entered human society. As the last being alive to remember the ANGELIC TEACHINGS of VIRTUE and GOOD, it is his burden to teach humanity of these things again. Only when he succeeds will he have truly defeated the DRAGONS.

Weapons:
SOULS RIPPER: The sword of Archangel Gabriel. Its holy edge is honed by the souls of the sinful that it slays and keeps within itself. It cannot harm the innocent.
BREATHE OF GOD: Ajax is a dragon, but his angelic upbringing allows him to breathe flames of purity that only hurt the sinful. At will, Ajax can choose to completely destroy, or to perfectly resurrect.
DEATHSCYTHE: A living gun that hosts the soul of Ajax' BROTHER. It fights alongside him, but every bullet it shoots inflicts terrible torment on the soul inside it. Still, it perseveres out of the BROTHERLY LOVE it holds for Ajax.

Ultimate Attack
HOST OF HEAVEN - brings back ALL THE DEAD ANGELS to fight alongside him, also his FATHER AND MOTHER, but he cannot keep them resurrected for more than 10 minutes. He never uses this attack because of the grief it brings him to see the faces of his parents again only to have them ripped away after the brief 10 minutes have passed.

Features:
- Ajax is perfectly virtuous, and therefore always tells the truth, no matter how hard it may be.
- Ajax suffers from the TEMPTATIONS of human society, and is jealous of the less virtuous humans' being able to enjoy themselves in EARTHLY PLEASURES.
- As such, he is extremely unsure of himself and is very confused around girls.
- Whilst blind, it does not hinder him because of his DRACONIC SENSES that allow him to see through walls, across the infrared frequency and also give him the ability to smell fear.
- He thirsts for animal blood, again, due to his DRACONIC HERITAGE - Dragons habitually need to drink animal blood from a fresh kill.
- His attacks have no names, just like the dragons never asked for the names of the angels they killed


Fightest's notes follow:

Fightest's notes:

Looks like a fusion of Western and Eastern Mary Sue, I'm borrowing from sources on both sides of the Atlantic. What we're making is the ultimate power fantasy character, but the objective is to make them intentionally bad. Good power fantasy characters are Goku and Superman due to, amongst other things, how focused their character designs are (that said, Silver Age Superman...). Therefore to make a bad character one needs to dilute this focus?

It is literally painful to write some of these things.

It is telling that I think that underneath a mountain of crap is actually a pretty interesting character.

How the hell do I shoehorn him being a vampire?

Can't have his downsides being actually a hindrance.

Now, for the final touch, where's that Liefeld...

[edit] Fuck, forgot the ultimate attack

[edit2] Fuck, forgot pouches

[Bardiche]

One month probation for anyone that chooses this prize.

$10 for a month? That's terrible odds.

Unfortunately my chuuni is weak, else I'd participate for the $10art.

[pineyappled]

Now, for the final touch, where's that Liefeld...

pouches where

[Fightest]

pouches where

shit

brb adding pouches

[edit] pouches added for extra liefeld authenticity

I don't have the ability to invent muscle groups like Liefeld does, unfortunately.

[pineyappled]

Speaking about Liefeld.

rip in peas, pouch-sensei i don't think anyone will miss you all too much

[Fetch()tirade]

I found a little black notebook that I used to carry around when I was in middle school. It's filled with all sorts of writing.
... I may just have an entry for this.

Spoiler:

oh god there's a pictographic language, what was i doing with my life

[Nobu]

Oh man. If only I still had some of my real drawings from middle school and turned in one of those, I would have this thing in the fucking bag.

Anyway, I'll see what I can cook up. This should be fun.

its on bro

[Stuffman]

Good work Fightest. I can always rely on you in times of need.

[Tengukami]

Holy crap, Fightest, that is ... wow. Cringe-inducingly familiar? I am in awe.

I reckon Purvis is also going to unload a mountain of chuuni on this thread. Myself, I wish I had saved my prized possession from middle school: my 1ed D&D half-elf fighter, Lyrya Stillwaters.

... Ugh, even writing that name made my shoulders tighten up.

I'll be on this, deffo. And as I can't use Steam anyhoo I'll be going after the superior prize, even if I wanted a game.

[Raikaria]

I'll make something tomorrow.

[KrackoCloud]

Sounds like fun! Let's see if I can make something good out of some old ideas.