| ~Beyond the Border~ > Daiyousei's Cold Storage |
| The Sticky is No Lie (A Very Special ID Contest) |
| (1/4) > >> |
| Testing:
Hello, and again, welcome to Cirno's Prototype Chat Mechanism. We hope your brief detention in the spam vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimens have been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the chat mechanism activities, serious injuries may occur. You are now in possession of the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device. With it, you can create your own threads. These series of posts have proven to be capable of providing high-quality entertainment. The ones presently in CPCM, however, do not. No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response. If you believe you can remain resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism, you and all test subjects are invited to nominate a single thread to undergo the experimental 'stickying' process, which has been developed to prolong the natural twenty-four hour lifespan of sufficiently deserving threads. This first day only, five threads will be stickied. On successive days, test subjects are requested to additionally specify their least favorite of the current sticky threads; one additional thread will be stickied, while two will be retired and sent to victory candescence. This will continue until only the highest quality thread remains. In recognition of their achievements, the creator of this final thread will be awarded Idiot Deity status, which will allow them to carry out the 'stickying' process at their own discretion. We at Aperture Cryogenics hope this will encourage the responsible and productive use of the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device. tl;dr: * 'Days' will end at Midnight EDT (GMT-4) and begin as soon as nominations have been tallied and judgement executed. * One nomination for a thread to sticky per person, per day. * The thread will be cleaned out daily. Replies that aren't nominations will be deleted on sight. Please don't post them if you can avoid it. * People who vote to unsticky the rules threads will not receive cake. EDIT: Upon the recommendation of our Positive Thinking Advisor, you will now vote on which stickies should be kept, not which should be disposed of. |
| Testing:
It saddens me that despite my best efforts to instruct and better you, some of you insist on finding new ways to fail. Recently, the argument was put forth that our test subjects deserve greater liberty in their use of the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device. They are here by choice, claim some. If we stifle them with rigid experimental protocol, they will go and do science somewhere else, claim some. It is true our noble search for that elusive quality known as "quality" is an endeavor easily sabotaged by excessive bureaucracy. So the decision was made, on a trial basis, to enforce only one rule; all but the most promising experiments shall be terminated after twenty-four hours. Yet now that you have freedom, what have you done with it? The bulk of you appear content to rehash the same tired procedures that have long since ceased to be anything but an idle pastime for their most intimate participants. While we have intervened in one instance to remind you that the Aperture Cryogenics Thread Creation Device should not be used to reverse entropy, by and large, you have nothing to fear from us except our silent glares of disapproval - and our eyes are getting tired. Where is your ambition? Your creativity? Your passion for science? Let no test subject accuse us of not carrying out this experiment to its conclusion, however dismal that may be. The threads you have voted for have been subjected to the "stickying" process, and you may now determine which are in fact rubber and not glue. My personal opinion: all of them should be put on ice with extreme prejudice. And unless you demonstrate greater dedication to the search for quality in the days to come, test subjects, so shall you be. If you have forgotten what constitutes "quality," we maintain extensive archives in Daiyousei's; out the door, down the hall and to your left. Sunday Votes: * Much as it pains me to acknowledge it, Modeslaves was the clear favorite with three nominations in immediate succession. * Random People Facts III was on par with three nominations. * Birthdays and cheering up both got two nominations. * The Rage and Questions thread tied for the fifth sticky with one nomination. In accordance with established tiebreaker policy, the EUROVISION thread has been sticked instead. |
| Testing:
No nominations today? It's almost as if I've hurt your feelings, except that you have none. You are robots, aren't you? I shall have to look into disabling your self-preservation instincts; perhaps it will liven the place up until it comes time for this farce to end. Due to a complete and utter absence of superior alternatives, today's sticky shall be the ALL CAPS TOPIC TITLE thread in appreciation of its irony. And in accordance with our democratic principles, Random People Facts III and The Cheer-Up Thread will be consigned to the freezer shortly. In case you have not noticed, I remain thoroughly unconvinced of the value of your continued existences, but further lectures would just be throwing good words after bad. The neurotoxin emitters would already be in full operation, except neurotoxins do not work on robots. As a solution, we are currently installing EMP pulse generators; they will be ready within the week. Please have patience. Your suffering will be terminated as promptly as possible. |
| Conqueror:
For clarification: the poll is asking, "Which threads should remain stickied?" |
| Testing:
<CLaDOS> Today's sticky is "Sometimes 4chan gets it right." <NEETley> What if 4chan were to get it left? <CLaDOS> That would certainly be a... sinister prospect. <Both> DOHOHOHOHOHOHO Meanwhile, ALL CAPS TOPIC TITLE and MODESLAVES THREAD 3: CUDDLESTUCK have suffered the chilling consequences of absolute democracy. There is still time to once again appoint me your god and emperor, though it is unlikely to change your fate. |
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