(OOC: Once again, summarized. Full version at Nemo's Orizone.)9:30 AM, Day 1
Hakurei Shrine Living RoomIt didn't take long for me to get bored.
What can I say? I'm not the type to stay idle for long, and I'd done about all I could for getting the shrine back together. And after hearing some more about that Kirby of Plenty thing, I was starting to wonder... I sure as hell can't catch or fight that thing, but if it's still running amok after what it did to Chen... there's got to be
something I can do.
A little consideration led me to the poor decision of asking Yukari for help. "Hey, Yukari." I paused. "You still listening in?"
"Is poor Jerry-Jerry having trouble sleeping~" Yukari's voice sang, from above the kotatsu I was lounging beside.
Yeah, still not looking. Though I did stop to think about her taunt for a moment. I really wasn't feeling that tired anymore... mostly distracted by that Kirby thing. "I guess. Wondering about that Kirby thing that ran off."
"Oh my, I'm not sure what the God of Plenty would think of that nickname." the gap youkai replied, amused.
"I'm not sure I'll bother learning to call it anything else." I quipped, "But I kinda what to know what the deal is. Is this really a regular thing in Gensokyo?"
Sukima chuckled a little. "Oh, yes, about yearly. Reimu dear always calls it up to help with the feast for Reitaisai."
"'cause she can't provide it herself, right?" I said, then paused. Whoops. I get a little hasty with the offensive jokes when I'm chatting with her... at least Reimu isn't here to shank me for it. Gotta be more careful...
Fortunately, Yukari just laughed. "Oh my, yes, exactly! Sometimes it just gives up, but most years it bounces off to cause a little havoc in the rest of Gensokyo, until it surrenders enough meals and blessings for Reimu. And everyone else following, of course~"
Figures. "And how do they pull that off, usually?"
"Danmaku, of course." She chuckled. "Though it's rather difficult to keep up with, let alone catch properly."
"And I take it just gapping into its face would ruin the fun?"
Yukari's reply was prompt. "You bet! Watching it all is much more entertaining~"
Yeah, that's about what I figured. Though... time to tread on some thin ice... I took the risk of trying to convince her to help figure out some way to get back at it. Thankfully it didn't go too badly, but as for what to do...
"Such as?" the gap youkai asked, sounding bemused by my enthusiasm.
Erk. Okay, I deserved to go on point for that one. "Uh... letting her and Ran chase after it, helping with that as much as you feel comfortable, retrieving the hat somehow, remaking it, um..."
"Hm... well, they're certainly free to join the hunt..." Yukari said, then paused to consider. "... and I believe one of its new tricks is returning eaten things intact..."
Wait, what? "Really?"
"It spat up that violin bow just fine." she replied, sounding... somewhat distracted. Must be something unusual about that... "It could very well return Chen's hat..."
"So how would we..." Whoops. "Er, they manage that?"
Sukima chuckled. "Danmaku, of course. It's no powerhouse, but catching it is rather a problem~"
"What about ambushing it?"
A second or two of silence, followed by a 'zwuun' I was willing to assume was Yukari opening the communication gap a little farther to take a look at me. I tensed up a bit; getting too much attention from her tended to mean trouble...
"Are you scheming something~" she asked, rather playfully.
"Probably."
A chuckle. "Well, go on, then."
I spent a little while asking her about that Kirby god thing, to find that it rather liked foods... especially sweets. And I think I know one or two ways that could be used against it...
-----
10:00 AM, Day 1
Hakurei Shrine Living RoomSo I spent a while scheming, asking for info from, and bouncing ideas off of, a rather bemused Yukari-gap. It took a little while to get the details right, but eventually I worked out two big targets it could shoot for, depending on how good its memory and intelligence were: Hakugyokurou's absurdly overstocked pantry, and making Minoriko Aki conjure up tons of food out of nowhere. Assuming she was capable of that, at least... Yukari wasn't sure, though a description of her powers suggested it was possible.
The next problem was figuring out how to go about it. I mean, there are two locations that are worth heading to; conveniently, there are also two shikigami that have reason to want to get a piece of that Kirby thing. The problem is that I rather doubt Ran would want Chen to split up, and sending Chen alone to either location would have its risks; Chen alone would have trouble defending Minoriko, and if PCB was any indication, the way to Hakugyokurou was a bit more dangerous even if Yuyuko and Youmu were much more capable of setting up a respectable ambush once alerted. So either way, there's a risk of some danger to her, and I rather suspect putting Chen in any danger would make Ran a bit upset... and an upset Ran is a danger to my health.
My concerns were interrupted by footsteps from the kitchen and a small yawn. I looked over to see Chen shuffling out of the kitchen, with drooping ears and bleary eyes. Looks like I don't have more time to plan...
"Good morning." I said. "Feeling any better?"
The catgirl blinked at me, and gave me a dull nod. "Yeah," she replied, in a small voice, "A little."
Damn, she looks down. Those ears... shit, moe nosebleed.
I turned away to try and discreetly wipe away the blood on my face. Thankfully Ran's footsteps didn't enter the room until after I'd managed to turn away and start mopping it up. After a moment, she calmly said, "It does look a bit cleaner here."
Oh, right, that's what I left to do first... "Uh... thanks." I replied, a bit timidly. There, face should be clean now...
"Ah, Ran, little Jerry-Jerry had an idea to send you two off to fight the God of Plenty~"
SHIT. Damnit Yukari! Why'd you have to put it that way?! Okay, salvage the situation, salvage the situation!
I managed not to piss off anyone, even if Ran wasn't enthusiastic about the idea. Still, despite Yukari mentioning that Kirbygod was risking its life at the SDM, Ran showed at least enough willingness to ask her master if she should join the chase.
"I'm not the one to ask right now, am I?~" the gap youkai sang back, to put me on point again. The shikigami's gaze focusing on me again made that extra clear.
Time to explain then. "Well, not really. I was uh... more thinking some sort of ambush."
One of Ran's ears twitched. I tried not to stare, because damnit that was cut-NO DON'T NOSEBLEED.
"Hmm. I suppose that could work." she said, coolly, "I assume you have a location in mind?"
Time to tread carefully... "Well... sort of. I mean - it's supposed to like sweets and food, right? And er, if it found Yuyuko's pantry..."
Yukari laughed a little. I'm not sure if it was at my nervousness or the simplicity of the explanation.
Ran was still frowning. Not a good sign. "That's true, but I believe Yuyuko-sama would be able to fend it off herself."
I shrugged a little, trying not to get TOO nervous. "W... well, a warning would still be good, right? And there's another place... well, person that might be worth protecting..."
"Very well."
This isn't going very well. "There's... a minor goddess at Youkai Mountain - near the foot of it, I think - named Minoriko Aki. She's the harvest goddess, so I'm guessing she'd be able to create food, so..."
"I suppose, though I wouldn't expect it to be that... clever." The kitsune didn't seem to be very supportive of this plan...
Okay, I can salvage this... I hope I can salvage this. I just need... oh. Yukari DID give me something for that, didn't she? "Apparently it's been acting weird this year, if what Yukari's been saying is any indication."
... in fact. I grinned a bit and gave her a REAL reason to be enthusiastic about this. "Actually, didn't you say it might be possible to get Chen's hat back?"
Chen had silently listened to the exchange so far, but that got a reaction out of her. The catgirl's ears perked up, and she jumped forward with an eager "Really?!"
The way Ran straightened up after that line made me think I'd caught her attention as well. "Is that true, Yukari-sama?"
Sukima giggled through her gap. "Well, it already ate and spat up a violin bow, so it's a reasonable thing to assume, isn't it?"
Chen clapped her hands and danced in place with glee for a moment. I brought a hand to my nose to hide a thankfully-small nosebleed, easily concealed on my palm and discreetly wiped off on the underside of my clothes. Sorry, Reimu...
Anyway, the catgirl quickly recovered and eagerly grabbed her master's sleeve. "Let's go, Ran-sama!" she paused. "Though, uh... which one should we go to...?"
I'm probably taking too many risks today, but... "Act...ually, I was thinking it might be a good idea to split up...?"
Ran's subtle enthusiasm faded, and she hesitated before responding, "... I'm not sure that would be wise."
"Well, uh, I'm not entirely sure, either." I admitted, "But there's two places to go, right? I uh... just dunno whether it's safer to get to Hakugyokurou than Youkai Mountain, if Yuyuko just needs a warning..."
Yukari interrupted my incoherent excuses with a chortle. "Oh, silly Jeremy. If Yuyu-chan just needs a warning, why don't you go?"
I failed to pick up on two warning signs that would have kept me from turning around to look in surprise in response to that suggestion: First, the soft 'zwuun' that the gap youkai's chortle had masked, and second, the fact that her voice was a little louder and closer than it had been until now.
As it was, I got an eyeful of Yukari's naked torso sticking out of an enlarged gap, covered only by the arms crossed over her breasts.
"Ghk!" I commented, before turning away and attempting to stem yet another nosebleed. "Goddamnit, Yukari!"
She giggled. "Gotcha~ ♥"
Damnit. Well, at least Ran seems to be alright with me reacting like that, if the lack of eviscerating me for similar antics in the past is any indication. That didn't stop her from sighing, but at least it didn't end with me getting violenced.
Rather, after a moment Yukari went on: "Really, little Jeremy, if you're being so helpful, why not be the messenger yourself? I'm sure Yuyu-chan would love to see you again~"
Yeah, and both her and Yukari would love to see her mess with me... though maybe setting up defenses would keep her occupied..... no, it wouldn't. That'd be all Youmu's work, wouldn't it. Well, maybe that'd keep her from trying to kill me?.. urgh, damnit. She's right. Well, except for one thing.
"Uh, I can't fly." I paused for a moment before realizing the other loophole - Yukari gapped me over there the first time around, anyway. "And I thought you weren't going to interfere."
"Oh, I think I can make a small exception for Yuyuko." she explained, "And it's not much more than telling her myself, is it?"
Well, except for my getting abused by the mischievous ghosts being far more amusing...
I sighed. "I guess you're right. Just... don't let Youmu shank me, alright?" She really wasn't fond of me, after hearing about how the Touhou fandom treats her and Yuyuko. Well, rather, that h-doujins of either of them exist. Both Yuyuko and Yukari ordered her not to hurt me for it, but I'm not sure how well that would keep her temper in check alone with me...
"Oh, don't worry, I'll keep an eye out." Sukima said, sounding amused once again. "Bon voyage~"
I felt the floor vanish from beneath me.
Oh, damnit Yukari! At least let me stand up first so I have some chance of landing on my feet!
Gravity briefly made itself known to me, before the feeling of empty air brought me through the gap under me.
(Executive summary: Jeremy comes up with a plan to ambush the God of Plenty. Jeremy is gapped over to Hakugyokurou. Ran and Chen leave for the foot of Youkai Mountain to find Minoriko.)