This is the 9th thread dedicated to the recording of failures at playing Touhou.

[Arcengal]

Rediscovered my hatred for IaMP after having Youmu smash my face in for 3 minutes with Double Pain.

[Zengeku]

There's clearly a contradiction in the witness's statement, your honor!

The easy stuff:

Everything stage 1-3.
Stage 4: Everything that isn't the post-midboss streaming phase and Satori's DBDB and FIN cards.
Stage 5: Half of Orin's stuff.
Stage 6: Utsuho after Peta Flare.

There is plenty of easy stuff in SA. Sure there's some tough stuff but its nothing on most stuff from UFO and also a lot of stuff from EoSD.

[Naut]

The easy stuff:

[blah blah blah]

Relatively easy compared to some of the other stuff in SA, sure, but it's still not that easy unless you've practiced it a bunch of times.

[Zengeku]

Relatively easy compared to some of the other stuff in SA, sure, but it's still not that easy unless you've practiced it a bunch of times.

Then practice it. I practiced this for some time. Then proceeded to do the first 1cc. Same as every shmup.

[Jaimers]

the hell...?

Spoiler:

We both blew up!  :V

Oh and I didn't win, despite it blatantly telling me I won.  >:|

[jaxter0987]

*sighs* returning to EoSD after 2 months and this is what happens...

EoSD Normal Mode fail

[Sen]

Then practice it. I practiced this for some time. Then proceeded to do the first 1cc. Same as every shmup.

Well look how that's turning out for you and UFO :V

[K.B.]

If I had more than 256M ram, I'd record in fraps or equivalent and crop for your viewing ridicule.

EoSD.  Extra.  Since you're posting in this thread, you probably realize you aren't the bees' knees at this touhou thing, but nevertheless you can make a solid run at Flandre.  And twice in as many hours.  But each time you're faced with the same problem: you have too many lives.  You have no other choice but to...

...make an inexcusable death!

Then, to compensate for your grotesque error, you unfocus and RUN DIRECTLY INTO THE NEAREST BULLET.

Finally, to avenge past mistakes and finally win the game, you, while finding a lone wave of bullets approaching, stand completely still and let the closest bullet SLAM INTO YOU.



That was not an exaggeration.  That happened.  Twice.  In EXACTLY the same manner.

I can upload this bullshit if you want, but it's quite seriously as horrid as it sounds (and uninteresting, up until atwtbn, at which point it's loltastic).  If I hadn't beaten Flandre (FINALLY), the next day, I... well... I would be even more bitter, if that's even imaginable.

[MTSranger]

bombed the hell out of Id and all non-spells, not even bothered with dodging on Super-Ego and abused the living hell of pause button on everything from Rorschach onwards sans Embers of Love. I`m fucking sick of Sanae, Koishi and that goddamn stage. 

Aren't the non-spells (save for the 4th one) supposed to be cake? Which ones are you having trouble with anyways?
Id is not that bad once you "get" it. Same with Super Ego. You basically weave the waves by moving left right alternately.
Once you can tackle those cards, it gets easier.
Bomb Roscharch when you think you are close to walled (like pink over green waves).
There is a movement pattern for Embers of Love, which would allow you to capture it without too much difficulty.

Also, is it easier to timeout Rose or to finish it?

You kind of get dizzy and fall asleep when you are timing it out (190 seconds! of the exact same thing)
OTOH, the final phase is annoying if you are actually beating it, so better go in with a few extra lives for your first clear.

[Zengeku]

Well look how that's turning out for you and UFO :V

Yep. I have spent half the amount of time practicing SA that i have practicing UFO. SA is now easy while UFO is still difficult. My conclusion is that UFO is difficult and SA is easy.

[DgBarca]

PoFV story mode, lunatic, final stage.
WHYYYYY ? WHYYYYYYY ? WHYYYYYY ? WHY WON'T YOU DIE ALREADY ?
NOOOOO TT__TT

[CrimsonDX]

PoFV story mode, lunatic, final stage.
WHYYYYY ? WHYYYYYYY ? WHYYYYYY ? WHY WON'T YOU DIE ALREADY ?
NOOOOO TT__TT

This is exactly why I can't stand PoFV....THEY NEVER DIE!

[nintendonut888]

It seems I've reached -that- phase in perfecting an annoying boss. I'm up to the point where my ND2B runs have me bomb on the first bullet of Eirin's first spell card and when the enemy icon is flashing red on Astronomical Entombing (granted, I wasn't trying hard because I really didn't want something like the first mistake to be the only thing holding this run back).

Tsk. I'm committed, for better or for worse. Mostly worse.

[チソウ タイゼン]

guize wtf m i doin rong???

If I don't get this soon I am seriously going to bite some heads off.

Also: Lag issues

Lyrica in general
Merlin in general
Yuyuko's third non

They all cut my game down to 29 FPS
I would like to know if this happens to anyone else

[Agent of the BSoD]

They all cut my game down to 29 FPS
I would like to know if this happens to anyone else

Do you have the game set to force 60 fps? You can check by opening custom.exe in the touhou folder. Though this one remains untranslated for whatever reason, what you want to have checked in the upper area is the bottom right checkbox.

Here is a helpful pic of what it should all look like.

[Chaotic Phoenixma]

Realize I haven't played VoWG in over a month or 2. Load up MoF Stage 6.

Realize I still somehow suck at the card despite having done a timeout. I can still read it fine at least, so I guess it's not that bad cause my mistakes were all in dodging which was the usual. Nice to see my consistency at reading it is still there, and it's not like I was ever all that great at dodging it most of the time.

[Silent Harmony]

I don't want to hear anybody else say they suck at shmups.

In the last 20+ minutes, I've had 2 PCB extra runs make it to Chen without a death.

2

Let's not even talk about all the bombing.

:fail:

[Agent of the BSoD]

This is weird. It's Reimu's Fantasy Heaven on 12.3.
Apparently Fantasy Heaven can win and fail at the same time. After that happened, it made me RAGE!!! RAGE so hard that I was totally not focusing on the rest of the match but rather what came out of my mouth.

Hope this never happens to you guys.

[marukyuu]

I'm wondering why I could easily get past Aya before dying in MoF Hard until just a couple of months ago, but now I can't even no-death Minoriko consistently, and when I do, I randomly hit something on Stage 2 around 99% of the times. EVEN IN PRACTICE MODE. EVEN WHEN I'M BOMBSPAMMING THE HELL OUT OF THE STAGE.

*rage*

[Arcengal]

Grudge Bow can go DIE. IN. A. FIRE. Seriously.

[チソウ タイゼン]

Mmph, so I don't have the MAN to play PCB Extra at 90 FPS

90 FPS: Fox Tanuki Youkai Laser (Facepalm)
75 FPS: Shikigami Chen (She kicked me )

[jc_foster]

1D1B normal Kanako. I didn't mind the bomb, because it was on Misayama, and I've given up on capturing that thing. The death, on the other hand ....

.... was as Miracle of Otensui was clearing.   :colonveeplusalpha:

[Schezo]

You all want to hear something hilarious?

I can consistently 1cc EoSD normal with default live, without using the hitbox patch or anything.

I can not 1cc PCB with max starting lives and bomb spamming the game.  Youmu and Yuyuko kick my ass no matter how many times I practice them, then if I get it and try to apply it to the real run...

Really, what is wrong with me?

edit: This just in watch a completely blown Kanako fight with ridiculous resources!

[lmagus]

I failed Hourai Elixir about 50 times before giving up

[Zengeku]

I failed Hourai Elixir about 50 times before giving up

What part of it troubles you the most?

[チソウ タイゼン]

I failed Hourai Elixir about 50 times before giving up

I failed Fujiyama Volcano 153 times before capping it; an extra 80 before doing it again.
Touhou is on the whole about patience.

That being said, I've never seen Hourai Elixir :ohdear:
I'm stuck on Possessed by Phoenix.

[lmagus]

What part of it troubles you the most?

The crossing green bullets. I never got past the fifth wave x_x

[DgBarca]

The crossing green bullets. I never got past the fifth wave x_x

Corner, it will save your life.

[MTSranger]

The crossing green bullets. I never got past the fifth wave x_x

and if you are bad at corner dodging, even moving a bit to left or right helps tremendously,

[ebarrett]

and if you are bad at corner dodging

In what exactly does "corner dodging" differs from "normal dodging"? You just go somewhere else where you get half the bullets coming straight down (so you can read it well in advance of the other half) instead of having both sets come at you at weird angles. Most evident in one of those Kaguya last spells whose names nobody actually remembers.

Unless people are actually hugging the corner, which is a good recipe for DEATH