Author Topic: Love Letters  (Read 21301 times)

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Love Letters
« on: September 19, 2009, 03:13:54 AM »
My cousin's girlfriend is a yandere. She keeps a kitchen knife in her purse and is generally kinda unsettling to be around. She has nice tits though

My entire family hates her guts.

I don't.

That is until we played Bomberman...She sucks. Hard.

Now I hate her too >:C
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2009, 03:16:01 AM »
Steal knife from purse.

(This is now a text base adventure)

Easy Mode

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2009, 03:17:34 AM »
Why the hell does she keep a knife in her purse?

helvetica

  • Arcade Maid
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  • United Federation
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2009, 03:20:21 AM »
I'm pretty sure it's because of the yan part of yandere.


Twitter: @hipsterfont | Discord: helvetica#0573 | LINE: hipsterfont

He thought that on that same day he was to take the city of Priam, but he little knew what was in the mind of Jove, who had many another hard-fought fight in store alike for Danaans and Trojans."


Re: Love Letters
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2009, 03:33:46 AM »
What does this thread have to do with love letters?
« Last Edit: September 19, 2009, 04:09:59 AM by _Zac_ »

Easy Mode

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2009, 03:40:23 AM »
'Cause everyone's gonna write one to me, duh! e we

Kuma

  • Charismatic grizzly bear
  • 熊 熊 熊
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #6 on: September 19, 2009, 03:46:29 AM »
'Cause everyone's gonna write one to me, duh! e we

Dearest Mode,

If you were a man, I'd make love to you <3

Loev,
Kuma


Like that?
Wotters gonna' wot


Fetch()tirade

  • serial time-waster
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #7 on: September 19, 2009, 03:46:49 AM »
It's not a knife, it's a letter opener! She's just waiting for that special person (+'s letter) to open up.

Easy Mode

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 2009, 03:53:05 AM »
'Cause everyone's gonna write one to me, duh! e we

Dearest Mode,

If you were a man, I'd make love to you <3

Loev,
Kuma


Like that?
Yes.





Moar.

Fetch()tirade

  • serial time-waster
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2009, 04:16:56 AM »
Dear Mode,


The end.

Zengar Zombolt

  • Space-Time Tuning Circle - Wd/Fr
  • Green-Red Divine Clock
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2009, 04:24:37 AM »
Dear Mode,

I'd cleave you SO HARD, if you know what I mean

Justice,
Zengar

Hououin Kyouma

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Re: Love Letters
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2009, 04:27:05 AM »
Dear Mode

I'm a farmer

Love Tenshi
"DUMBASS!" "I'd hit it" "Bear-sona~!" "Critical hits to the nads!" "What you're really asking is... "Will you please beat the **** out of me, Kanji?" "...I Gotta pee." ''Everydays great at your Junes~'' "You calling me a loser?"

Von Stein

  • Just some insane airhead.
  • What's this newfangled stuff?
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2009, 04:29:00 AM »
Dear Mode

            [ ] Present Flowers and Candy
            [ ] Ask out on date
            [ ] Have small talk
            [ x ] Stick it in

            *The person that send you this letter was arrested
              on terms of pedophilia.
             You are safe from this unsavory predator now.*

Love
I'mma let you finish, but I'mma [censored for the sake of virgin eyes] for you now.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2009, 04:35:01 AM by Edward von Stein »
Can't think of a good signature.
More lilies maybe?

Nine West

  • Shrine maidens? Evil spirits? Magicians?
  • *
  • How wonderful!
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2009, 04:33:44 AM »
Dear MOD(E) OF ALL TIME

I don't know you. But I love you. Somehow.

Sincerely,


Re: Love Letters
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2009, 04:34:21 AM »
Dear Mode,

Pure eyes, blue like a glassy bead---
  You are always looking at me
  and I am always looking at you.

  Ah, you're too meek ---
  beautiful, unspoiled:
  thus I'm so sad, I suffer---
  and so happy, it hurts.

  I want to hurt you
  and destroy myself
  What you would think
  if you knew how I felt.

  Would you simply smile,
  not saying a word?
  Even curses from your mouth
  would be as beautiful as pearls.

  I place my left hand on your
  face as though we were to kiss.
  Then I suddenly shove my thumb
  deep into your eyesocket.
  Abruptly, decisively,
  like drilling a hole.

  And what would it feel like?
  Like jelly?
  Trembling with ecstasy, I obscenely
  mix it around and around: I must
  taste the warmth of your blood.

  How would you scream?
  Would you shriek "It hurts!
  It hurts!" as cinnabar-red tears
  stream from your crushed eye?

  You can't know the maddening
  hunger I've felt in the midst of
  our kisses, so many of them
  I've lost count.

  As though drinking in your cries,
  I bring my hopes to fruition:
  biting your tongue, shredding it,
  biting at your lips as if tasting
  your lipstick.

  Oh, what euphoric heights I would
  reach, having my desires fulfilled
  like a greedy, gluttonous cur.

  I longed, too, for your cherry-tinted
  cheeks, tasty enough to bewitch my
  tongue.
  I would surely be healed,
  and would cry like a child.

  And how is your tender ear?
  It brushes against my cheek;
  I want it to creep up to my lips so
  I can sink my teeth into its flesh.

  Your left ear, always hearing words
  whispered sweet as pie ---
  I want it to hear my true feelings.
  I never lied, no...
  but I did have my secrets.

  Ah, but what must you think of me?
  Do you hate me? Are you afraid?
  As though inviting you to the agony
  at the play's end; if you wish, you
  could destroy me --- I wouldn't care.

  As you wish, you may destroy me
  --- I wouldn't care.

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #15 on: September 19, 2009, 04:39:56 AM »
Dear Mode.

I like you as much as a person who is not a girl can like you. Let's make happy together.

Love, Erebus.
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Jana

  • mrgrgr
  • *
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #16 on: September 19, 2009, 04:40:25 AM »
Dear Mode,
Love, Jan

Kilgamayan

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    • Let's Play Super Marisa World
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #17 on: September 19, 2009, 04:48:58 AM »
Dear Mode,


Sincerely,
Kilga
[22:40:12] <Drake> "guys i donwloaded esod but its not workan"
[22:40:21] <Drake> REPORTED
[22:40:25] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> PROBATED
[22:40:30] <Drake> ORGASM
[22:40:32] <NaturallyOccurringChoja> FUCK YEAH

[22:28:39] <Edible> Mafia would be a much easier game if we were playing "spot the asshole"

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2009, 04:51:51 AM »
Dear Mode,

I'm preparing to leave my house. There are six bullets in
my trusty gun. Their purpose is to put you out of your misery.
I sincerely wish that each and every one of them nails you
squarely between the eyes.

And now I'm off to kill you.

Surprised? I asked Master Harman. Asked him to kill you.

Mode, Harman is right here with me. The maid is with us,
too. We're all going on a little outing. A picnic with
your name on it. This took all my resources. I bet you're
at school now. Which means, you'll face the wrong end of my
pistol in just moments. Wait for me in the principal's office.
This is the code. [55549]

The lock is secured with a double code. You'll need the
second code to open the lock. Even I don't know that code.
It's your job to find it.

Everything is ready. I'm delighted that I can finally meet
you. Harman is laughing with me. Even the maid is laughing.
What the?

What the hell are these guys doi. . . .

Master is waiting for you at the hotel. We will kill this
man for you.

Samantha Smith

(A little more obvious than the last one.)

Dragoshi

  • Some sort of lurking trainwreck
  • May or may not exist. Possibly. Maybe.
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2009, 04:57:25 AM »
pffffffhahahahahaha... Man. I was not expecting a Killer7 reference. That pretty much threw me off-guad. Good job, _Zac_. Good job.
All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.

Kuma

  • Charismatic grizzly bear
  • 熊 熊 熊
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #20 on: September 19, 2009, 05:22:03 AM »
Man, Killer 7 was pretty awesome.
Wotters gonna' wot


Hello Purvis

  • *
  • Hello Jerry
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #21 on: September 19, 2009, 05:23:13 AM »
Fairest Mode,

I've plundered many a Spaniard's galleons in m' day, An' so help me God I'll plunder a thousand more a'fore I get taken t' th' hereafter an' they can sail free once more. Yet fer naught but the least word from ye, I'd trade it all fer the squalor an' servitude o' th' meanest merchant vessel.

Join wit' me, an' we'll make war upon th' whole o' th' world wit' as much right as any king 'r queen as was e'er born!

Yers,
Captain Purvis MFD

PS: Iffen ye so happen t' see that dog Comte De Rishadt, tell 'im 'e'd got what's comin' from me.

Easy Mode

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #22 on: September 19, 2009, 05:23:44 AM »
This is my most favoritest thread ever.


;_______;

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #23 on: September 19, 2009, 05:29:42 AM »
Dear Mode,

Drake

  • *
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2009, 05:42:20 AM »
Purvis, ya damn scalliwag, ya beat me to writin' a nice fancy lett'r fer lil' miss Mode ov'r 'dere. Best watch yerself in yer sleep, captain.

A Colorful Calculating Creative and Cuddly Crafty Callipygous Clever Commander
- original art by Aiけん | ウサホリ -

Easy Mode

Re: Love Letters
« Reply #25 on: September 19, 2009, 05:43:00 AM »
I thought Talk Like a Pirate Day was tomorrow!

Apotheosis

  • Pop-tarts please!!!
  • MOM WHERE'S MY POP-TARTS?????
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #26 on: September 19, 2009, 05:43:46 AM »
Dearest Mode,

Though you are in my beloved Britain, and I am here in the wretched heat of Afghanistan, the distance between only serves to deepen my affection for you. Ah, how I long to be back home, in the small farmhouse my father willed to me after he fell against the Punjabs, me cradling your head in my lap as we soak in the summer sun. A man can dream.

My dearest, tomorrow we ride against the Afghans at Maiwand. I have no presumptions of our success or failure, suffice it to say that should I fall to a Jezail bullet, know that I fall as a hero of the Empire and my thoughts were of you.

Yours,

Corporal Apotheosis, 66th Regiment

Spoiler:
note: NOT BRITISH
The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr - Mohammed

Hello Purvis

  • *
  • Hello Jerry
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #27 on: September 19, 2009, 05:59:48 AM »
To Drake,

I read yer words, but all I'm seein' is th' scurvy y' dripped on it.

Yers,

Captain Purvis MFD



Fairest Mode,

Took a merchantman today by th' name o' Gran Espada. Ye might be seein' it in th' broadsheets. Whilst emptyin' the hold, I found a jeweled hairclip resemblin' most closely th' one ye favor. I dun mind ye knowin' th' spaniard what interrupted me contemplatin' it t'will have a limp fer th' rest o' 'is days!

Meet me at port when I set in, if'n it pleases ye.

Yers,
Captain Purvis MFD

Kuma

  • Charismatic grizzly bear
  • 熊 熊 熊
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #28 on: September 19, 2009, 06:08:27 AM »
MODE, I WANT TO BE YOUR ONLY ROLLING STAR, K?
Wotters gonna' wot


Drake

  • *
Re: Love Letters
« Reply #29 on: September 19, 2009, 06:14:40 AM »
To Purvis,

Couldn' be mine. I get my vits e'ery day. Perhaps one o' yer crew squander'd o'er it b'fore handin' it to ya. Ither way done, ya seem all right. Yer words ta miss Mode remind me o' 'Lizabeth. I can' keep red at a cap'n that r'minds me o' her. I'm all fer a truce if ya can spare 't.

Yers just as well,

Captain Drake I

A Colorful Calculating Creative and Cuddly Crafty Callipygous Clever Commander
- original art by Aiけん | ウサホリ -