Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: Alfred F. Jones on January 31, 2010, 08:30:47 PM

Title: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on January 31, 2010, 08:30:47 PM
[13:30] <Yumemi-Rurokazaki> @choose Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom or nothing
[13:30] <Keine> Yumemi-Rurokazaki: I choose...Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom! ^_^V
[13:30] <Yumemi-Rurokazaki> \o/



(http://mikopics.fatechan.net/thumbnails/1264964999-8086842.jpg) (http://mikopics.fatechan.net/1264964999-8086842.jpg)

All right, class, settle down. Your biology teacher, Arashi Kurobara, is out sick today with a bad case of GotKidnappedByRuroAndTiedUpInHerCloset-itis, and there are no other bio teachers around here, so Principal TSO called me in to be your substitute today. Hold on while I take attendance.

Oh, question, Mr. Kilga? No, we are not doing human health and reproduction anymore, so you can stop trying to memorize the mammary diagram on page 343. It's not on the test, so you don't need to know it. Donut, stop eating in the back of my cla-- actually, you know, I know a really good way to make dough taste like chocolate. Just dip that croissant into that container of glowing green liquid and take a bite... hahahahaha, yessss. Solais, do you mind taking Donut to the nurse's office where Doc Purvis can give him treat-- what do you mean, he's not breathing? Oh well. No, it doesn't count as a human sacrifice on the altar of glorious Sanae-sama, Solais. Erebus, do be a dear and drag Donut to the morgue, please. 'nako, please stop desecrating Donut's corpse by drawing on his face in magic marker. Eh, I guess it's all right, he doesn't care.

Hele, stop writing about Remilia. She is a terrible character. Oh, Gpop, you're writing too? Well, it's Koishi, so I can dig it. Xan, Kerigis, Anthony, do stop fawning over Theorin. Man, it is really appalling to see how little Arashi-san enforces the rules in this classroom. Slaves, A-F, Gappy, what's that you've got over there? Oh, a group picture of the Ijiyatsu cast? Please put it away. We're in a laboratory, some chemicals could spill on it. Thank you. Serp! Don't grab that vial, it's very--! ... oh dear. Can we get a janitor in here to clean up that glowing red stain on the floor? Ah, thank you, Matsuri and Nobu. I would have asked Vic, but he's Professor Mint's teaching assistant this semester. UK, are you done cleaning Serp up yet? Do you really need to be so thorou-- AGAIN, we are not studying human health and reproduction anymore. Please take your seat. Thank you.

Oh, a visitor? No, Sana, this isn't the geography class. I think you're lost. Sapz, would you mind escorting Sana to Prof. Gappy's class? No, she doesn't teach geography either, but who cares, just get out of my classroom. Dusty, please change out of those oily overalls, you never know when one of the bunsen burners will tu-- oh dear. Roukan, see that bucket of water? Yes, you've got the idea. Dusty, please go to the main office. Mode will get you some new clothes. Chaore, Paul, please put the Pokemon games away. Stop distracting Cadmas, he's trying to read. Hm? What is it, Drake? Oh, you've got a permission slip for Prof. Forza? Sure, go ahead and turn that in, he's right next door in the languages class.

If I didn't call your name, please raise your hands... Suikama, Naut, I didn't know you were in this class. I thought you were always working with Prof. Stuffman in the garage? Oh well. Hey, Jana. Nice to see that you've shown up. No, don't worry, you're not late. Take your seat by Xan there. Choja, you're a bit new to this class, aren't you? This is our first test. Banana, mind getting him a calculator? Thanks. I think that's most of you guys, then. Sakana, would you mind taking today's attendance sheet to the main office? Thank you. All right, let's get started on today's lecture.

(http://mikopics.fatechan.net/1264969494-5819174.jpg)

Today we are going to be talking about the immune system. Nonspecific immunity, also known as innate immunity. The immune system's first line of defense against an invading antigen is the skin, of course. However, if an antigen gets into the body, then the backbone of the vertebrate immune system swings into play.

There are several different types of cells in vertebrates that play key roles in nonspecific immunity. They are also found in all classes of animals and some birds. No, I don't know if you have phagocytes, Ammy. Ask Doctor Purvis when you see him later. Many of these cells are phagocytes-- cells that are capable of phagocytosis, which is a form of endocytosis in which the cell engulfs particulate matter, which usually is then destroyed by various proteases or oxidizing agents such as hydrogen peroxide. No, Sodium, I wasn't calling on you. Moving on...

Phagocytes are found in the bodily fluids, such as hemolymph and blood, and also in various tissues and organs. In vertebrates, most phagocytes are commonly known as white blood cells, leukocytes. These are all derived from a common type of stem cell, which in mammals and birds, is found in the bone marrow. There are many types, but these are the ones we are going to cover: Neutrophils, eosinophils, monocytes, macrophages, and basophils.

Neutrophils are the most common type of leukocyte. They are found inside the blood and assorted tissues throughout the body. They engulf bacteria through endocytosis, and the bacteria are destroyed within endocycotic vacuoles by proteases, oxidizing agents, and assorted defensins. In short, they eat bacteria. Eosinophils are phagocytes found in the respiratory, urinary, and gastrointestinal tracts, within mucosal surfaces. Monocytes are phagocytes that circulate through the blood for a few days, then take up permanent residence as macrophages in virtually all tissues and organs. They are also located in the skin and the linings of the respiratory and digestive tracts, where they engulf viruses and bacteria. And lastly, basophils are part of a class of phagocytes in their own right. They don't actually engulf bacteria. They secrete heparin, an anticlotting blood factor, at the site of an infection. They also secrete histamine, which draws infection-fighting cells and proteins to the site of the infection.



What do you mean, I wasn't supposed to actually teach a worthwhile lesson? Hmph! I'm going to have to have some words with Arashi when I get home. Er, when she gets better. Anyway, Sakana, would you mind helping me pass these out? This is the test Arashi had for you guys today. It is worth half your grade and it only has one question. Does everyone have one? Good. Okay, let me turn on this overhead projector and show you the diagram...

Use the following diagram and your prior knowledge to choose the best answer.

(http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/1948/yamathrocyte.jpg)

A. This is a diagram of Sikieikle-cell disease, which is a genetic condition caused by a point mutation to the hellmoeglobin protein which causes red blood cells to become Siki-like in appearance and behavior.
B. It is a Camus-esque depiction of the hopeless futility of life.
C. It is a highly accurate description of the true plot of PoFV, wherein Medicine contaminates Gensokyo's water supply and Shikieiki is shown to be the true heroine of the Windows series when she shrinks down to molecular size and uses danmaku bubbles to destroy every last particle of poison.
D. Eirin wanted to study Eiki's Lawful Lawful nature, and asked for a blood sample. That's actually a Yamathrocyte under the microscope, secreting enough lawfulness to turn a bacterial colony into a civilization.

You have five minutes to complete the test. Good luck!
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sana on January 31, 2010, 08:35:22 PM
I'm not in this class, so I don't have to take this test, right? Excellent!
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sapz on January 31, 2010, 08:36:33 PM
/me picks option C upon returning from getting Sana even more lost
...Although option D looks incredibly tempting.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: ES-Anthy on January 31, 2010, 08:38:14 PM
it's D, totally

/me returns to mecha stuffs
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on January 31, 2010, 08:39:23 PM
/me walks in.

It's Imperialism.

/me claims some formaldehyde. Walks out again.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Rikter on January 31, 2010, 08:39:35 PM
WHY AM I NOT PLAYING POKEMON?

Anyways C

Also which kinds of birds have these so called Phagocytes?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Gpop on January 31, 2010, 08:39:41 PM
0, because there are no buses in Gen-

/me is shot 9 times

Ow, right.

Well then...

/me reads answers over

Ah...I suck at Biology ;_;

...what would Koishi do in this situation...?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on January 31, 2010, 08:40:44 PM
...what would Koishi do in this situation...?

Hide.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Moerin on January 31, 2010, 08:41:18 PM
/me picks option B, then returns to being fawned over~

Mmmm, just because it's futile doesn't mean I can't enjoy it, right~?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: nintendonut888 on January 31, 2010, 08:46:12 PM
/me collapses back into the classroom

It is...A...Miss Ruro.

Blegh...

X_X
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on January 31, 2010, 08:48:35 PM
/me glances at the test

/me adjusts his glasses

Hah, that's easy.

Answer A.
The main symptom of this disease is that the infected start to think about their behaviour and realize if it is good or bad. This can lead to serious cases of conscience, which is very hard to treat.
Infection with Sikieikle-cell disease and the following case of conscience has often marked the end of political and economical careers.
Known treatments against conscience include getting McRoll'd for hours or spending time on 4chan.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Suikama on January 31, 2010, 08:50:16 PM
(http://i48.tinypic.com/2s1sjz8.jpg)
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Serela on January 31, 2010, 08:54:16 PM
FFFFFF-its already been over five minutes D:

But its D, right? ...right?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 31, 2010, 08:56:13 PM
*has been writing a throwaway Komachi M.D. fic on the back of the paper* (not really before anyone asks for it)

Huh? A test? Uh, screw it. *circles C, hopes for best*
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Greyn on January 31, 2010, 08:59:07 PM
*Snickers

Tee-hee-hee, no test for me~
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Cadmas on January 31, 2010, 09:01:03 PM
This looks like a good place for a nap.

*Snoooooooooze*
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on January 31, 2010, 09:11:47 PM
/me  slams test papers onto onto Greyn's and Cadmas desks

Don't worry, Sensei made enough copies for everyone.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Slaves on January 31, 2010, 09:13:55 PM
/me draws on his paper
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Solais on January 31, 2010, 09:15:18 PM
/me Chooses A, then doodles a crying Solais in front of Gappy's gravestone. Then sacrifices the paper to the Goddess.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Maid Xan~ on January 31, 2010, 09:26:11 PM
/me  writes D, crosses it out, writes B, crosses that out, writes D again, and continues for around 5 minutes before deciding on D and collapsing in exhaustion on Moerin's lap.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Gappy on January 31, 2010, 09:30:09 PM
/me walks into the class, carrying a Sana by her collar

"Is this yours, Prof. Sakura? I think she got lost in my classroom broom closet."

"B-but...I-I'm looking for the geography class...." Sana pleads.

"Oh, in that case, you want Prof. Triangles."

"Prof. Sukima, doesn't Prof. Triangles teach high energy chemistry?"

"Same thing."

/me glances at the test on the board

"Oh, none of those answers are right. This is a case of Shikistic Fibrosis where the parasite Parashikium Xanadus begins to judge all cells present, host or foreign, and begins to reorder cells through a complex form of cell gene activation (activation of dormant genes known as 'ORDER' genes) such that host cells begin to migrate upwards towards the head while parasite foreign cells begin to migrate towards the gut before finally accumulating in the lower bowel, particularly the rectum. It would be interesting to note that host cells would then begin to construct small ordered cell colonies upon reaching the head, something we call a Higancytium. However, if this occurs in the brain, it is known as Multiple Shikirosis or MS and is often accompanied by an infection of Komachikter Onozukam and is associated with a fixation on hats of a certain shape often worn by depictions of the great judges of hell in Chinese and Japanese folklore, law, order, justice, and charisma.

...By the way, that's a very nice hat you have there today, Prof. Sakura. It looks just like those hats worn by depictions of the great judges of hell in Chinese and Japanese folklore.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Helepolis on January 31, 2010, 09:31:25 PM
/me puts down his pencil, puts his legs on the table and starts rocking on his chair swaying front to back.

Hmpf--- such tests are too easy. I already seen this, it is Fate that the answer obviously is D

Eiki-sama is an antibiotic and healing medicine in this case that has black and white abilities. She does not destroy everything on sight or makes subjective selections. When she enters your body, you are judged and your body is ruled.

/me closes his eyes and strokes his hair once.

Stadia 1:
Eiki is floating among the bacteria. Eiki analyses the situation and starts immediately judging everything black and white as much as she can. White and red blood cells are marked white, useful cells are also marked white, other evil dangerous bacteria and viruses are marked black. They have to pay for their sins.

Stadia 2:
Eiki activates and increases white blood cells to start sending the black-marked bacteria to hell ( death ). Red blood cells are told to increase oxygen flow to the brains. Because the brain is currently in overdrive due to this. This causes some side effects which are annoying but not dangerous.
Obvious effects are: rising body temperature to 38-39. Dizziness, deterioration of smell and hearing senses. This is also why Eiki shouldn't be used while playing touhou (especially PoFV), operating machines or driving. Please be aware of this.

Stadia 3:
However some bacteria are not judged. They will appear in court but before that a 'house of the white' must be build using white blood cells. ( See second microscope picture ). House of the White is a common appearance seen in this type of medication where the white blood cells are called together to form a structural filtering for unjudged bacteria.

All unjudged bacteria get marked automatically and are lined up before the House of the White and are judged on their type of behaviour. Actually, some bacteria are healthy and are kept inside the body to train the white blood cells when detecting more intruders. These type of blood cells turn into:  JAOOOO-types. Where J stands for Janitor, A stands for Agressive and OOOO marks the DNA combination so it will become a gate guard.
Bacteria judged white are free to roam around the body without causing damage to other cells and such. They are allowed to drive Red blood cells temporarily to achieve certain areas in the body.

House of the White also functions as a job market for bacteria that actually want to live a good life. They will be able to find suitable jobs here like mentioned before, JAOOOO trainers or M-types ( Maid ) to serve Scarlet-Bloodcells ( Scarlet Blood cells are rare and do not appear in all human bodies ).

Sometimes good bacteria often pair with other good bacteria. These bacteria are officially joined by Eiki then transported outside the body to live free without harming people. Because Eiki cannot tolerate bacteria expanding. Theories say often say this is the reason why people gasp. Taking in air to combine thrusting power then send out the bacteria instantly into the air.

Stadia 4:
Judgement in 60 years is activated and a few white cells are transformed into Komachi-types. These types are suppose to help the red blood cells and bacteria ferry more efficient over in certain special areas, such as the liver and kidneys. But generally these type of white cells are often lazy thus Eiki tries to keep them small.

Eiki generally weirs out in 60 years, so one time dose should be enough.

(http://i48.tinypic.com/2ugi05s.jpg)
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Chaore on January 31, 2010, 09:33:04 PM
/me writes down A and returns to punching surge in the face with thunderbolts.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 31, 2010, 09:34:21 PM
Um, Gappy-sensei? Does that mean we get full marks if the test is wrong? :<
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on January 31, 2010, 09:37:18 PM
/me pours Helepolis a tea and tries to spill some on his test paper to prevent him from being the best in class with his charismatic answer
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Gappy on January 31, 2010, 09:38:41 PM
Um, Gappy-sensei? Does that mean we get full marks if the test is wrong? :<

No, you obviously get zero marks no matter which choice you make.

Prof. Sakura, this is the hardest question I have ever seen set before any student. Well done.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Shizumarashi Mayuzumi on January 31, 2010, 09:39:33 PM
I thought I taught chemistry. :V But bio works too I guess.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Nine West on January 31, 2010, 09:42:47 PM
/me from the art class pokes inside the classroom and runs away after seeing much chaos
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sana on January 31, 2010, 09:46:44 PM
ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO CLAAAAASSSSS ;_;
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Gpop on January 31, 2010, 09:50:38 PM
I thought I taught chemistry. :V But bio works too I guess.

Ruro you are teaching the wrong class!

/me goes back to the test and does what Koishi would do. He draws roses and penises hearts around the test paper mindlessly and subconsciously.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 31, 2010, 09:51:06 PM
Eh, whatever. I don't care about Biology anyway.

"But Dr. Onozuka, it could be lupus-"
Nine's complaint was cut short as Komachi turned on the spot, the edge of her scythe-like crutch turning in the subordinate's direction.
"Don't be an idiot. It's never lupus."


Hehe~
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Gappy on January 31, 2010, 09:53:25 PM
I thought I taught chemistry. :V But bio works too I guess.

Oh, Professor Kurobara? I thought you were away ill...? Why are you hopping about, all tied up....?

/me eyes Professor Sakura and raises an eyebrow

Well, in case you didn't get the memo, we don't yet have a Professor of Biology so Headmistress Fate asked that the three of us fill in for the time being in turns.

/me shows Prof. Kurobara the teaching roster

Languages and danmaku diplomacy: Prof. Forza
Chemistry and Kaboom-Dynamics: Prof. Kurobara
Physics and Spiral-Psychology: Prof. Triangles
Biology and Genocide: Prof. Kurobara, Prof. Sakura, and Prof. Sukima
Law, Charisma, and ikillu-ology: Prof. Sakura
Social Studies and general applied gapology: Prof. Sukima
History and blame-o-logy: Prof. Sukima
Art: Prof. Slaves, Prof. AF, Prof. Nwbi, Prof. Mode, Prof. Sukima, Supreme Major Prof. Dr. PoringLeaf PhD MsA NNA SPa NjD CPMCa TrA IjiY etc.etc.etc.,
Physical Health and Hobo Studies: Prof. Purvis
Kuma studies: Prof. Kuma
etc. etc. etc.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on January 31, 2010, 09:57:47 PM
"Oh, none of those answers are right. This is a case of Shikistic Fibrosis where the parasite Parashikium Xanadus begins to judge all cells present, host or foreign, and begins to reorder cells through a complex form of cell gene activation (activation of dormant genes known as 'ORDER' genes) such that host cells begin to migrate upwards towards the head while parasite foreign cells begin to migrate towards the gut before finally accumulating in the lower bowel, particularly the rectum. It would be interesting to note that host cells would then begin to construct small ordered cell colonies upon reaching the head, something we call a Higancytium. However, if this occurs in the brain, it is known as Multiple Shikirosis or MS and is often accompanied by an infection of Komachikter Onozukam and is associated with a fixation on hats of a certain shape often worn by depictions of the great judges of hell in Chinese and Japanese folklore, law, order, justice, and charisma.

I said it was Imperialism already.

/me claims some Osmium.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on January 31, 2010, 09:59:35 PM
/me hands Prof. Purvis some test papers

Here Sir, those should help keep you warm at night if you use them as a blanket.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: FinnKaenbyou on January 31, 2010, 10:05:32 PM
Law, Charisma, and ikillu-ology: Prof. Sakura
Burned.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on January 31, 2010, 10:08:42 PM
/me hands Prof. Purvis some test papers

Here Sir, those should help keep you warm at night if you use them as a blanket.

Naw, you want big ole newspapers for that. But these'll start up a trash fire real nice.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: GMOFucker: Makin' GMOs To Fuck 'Em on January 31, 2010, 10:33:18 PM
I'm not even in this class so I probably shouldn't be loitering around, but

Quote
GotKidnappedByRuroAndTiedUpInHerCloset-itis
I've never heard of this sickness, can you elaborate? Is it lethal?

Also:
Quote
Sapz, would you mind escorting Sana to Prof. Gappy's class?
But didn't you just say Prof. Gappy was drawing a picture with A-F and Slaves? Did she teleport?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sapz on January 31, 2010, 10:48:12 PM
Didn't you just say Prof. Gappy was drawing a picture with A-F and Slaves? Did she teleport?
...Wait, what? Gappy! Why aren't you in your classroom?!
/me sighs and goes back out to look for Sana
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Moerin on January 31, 2010, 10:50:18 PM
Silly people, Gappy-chan exists everywhere at any given time~

/me strokes Xan's head~
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Gappy on January 31, 2010, 10:58:30 PM
...Wait, what? Gappy! Why aren't you in your classroom?!
/me sighs and goes back out to look for Sana

Jeez, how long have you been in this class? If you don't know your subjects, you should at least know your classmates. Gappy is back there.

/me points at Gappy in the back of the class.

/me looks up from her art and waves from the back of the class.

Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Benny1 on February 01, 2010, 12:12:39 AM
D, for sure.

Though I'm not sure if Sikieiki is Lawful Lawful.  I don't know if that quite expresses how lawful she is well enough.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sen on February 01, 2010, 12:44:08 AM
* Sen sits outside the door to the classroom and stares at the chaos
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Drake on February 01, 2010, 12:54:41 AM
/me morphs the test into a paper duck
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Dragoshi on February 01, 2010, 12:59:31 AM
/me adds two more paper ducks to the mix.

:V '<>' V:
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on February 01, 2010, 01:14:31 AM
* Sen sits outside the door to the classroom and stares at the chaos

Cuttin' class, eh?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Slaves on February 01, 2010, 01:16:58 AM
Cuttin' class, eh?

ohhhh you're gonna get it now
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sen on February 01, 2010, 01:17:31 AM
Cuttin' class, eh?

N-no, Prof. Purvis, I-I don't have Biology this period D:
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on February 01, 2010, 01:20:29 AM
N-no, Prof. Purvis, I-I don't have Biology this period D:

That's fine, you're cuttin' something. You;ll be helping lug tin around for detention. Only less helping and more doing it while I enjoy some liquid blanket.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Sen on February 01, 2010, 01:28:29 AM
* Sen cries as his perfect record is destroyed
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Bias Bus on February 01, 2010, 02:27:57 AM
/me shows Prof. Kurobara the teaching roster

Languages and danmaku diplomacy: Prof. Forza
Chemistry and Kaboom-Dynamics: Prof. Kurobara
Physics and Spiral-Psychology: Prof. Triangles
Biology and Genocide: Prof. Kurobara, Prof. Sakura, and Prof. Sukima
Law, Charisma, and ikillu-ology: Prof. Sakura
Social Studies and general applied gapology: Prof. Sukima
History and blame-o-logy: Prof. Sukima
Art: Prof. Slaves, Prof. AF, Prof. Nwbi, Prof. Mode, Prof. Sukima, Supreme Major Prof. Dr. PoringLeaf PhD MsA NNA SPa NjD CPMCa TrA IjiY etc.etc.etc.,
Physical Health and Hobo Studies: Prof. Purvis
Kuma studies: Prof. Kuma
etc. etc. etc.

You pink farting hag! I demand there be a class on spreading horror and despair across the globe like a pandemic of E-bola!

Also

/me doesn't answer question.

/me writes himself a detention slip and goes there himself.

That's my fucking honor student delinquent pride! Eat it, chucklefucks!
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: UncertainJakutten on February 01, 2010, 02:29:42 AM
Since no one else has chimed in, it's obviously B!

After all...life is completely futile without love...

And there is no love here...

Therefore...life is futile

/me goes to sleep on her desk
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on February 01, 2010, 02:45:02 AM
/me doesn't answer question.

/me writes himself a detention slip and goes there himself.

That's my fucking honor student delinquent pride! Eat it, chucklefucks!

Ever clean a septic tank, son?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Bias Bus on February 01, 2010, 02:56:14 AM
Ever clean a septic tank, son?
Not a once.

But we'll see how bad it is. When you think about the place I come from is a septic tank of pure negativity and hatred. Like a rotten cesspool that breeds disease and horrid parasites of man, the things that crawl out are known to everyone else as 'nightmares'.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Mounting Jaggis on February 01, 2010, 02:56:26 AM
Sorry I'm late, I was taking some hobo to the hospital. He kept asking for change so I ran him over with my car- I mean... yeah, I ran him over with my car.

Oh, a substitute teacher. Hi there, don't worry I'll try my best. Well the obvious answer to this test is K: The pirates disintegrate all the ninjas with the lasers they stole from the alien robot army at the battle of Rainbow Mountain.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on February 01, 2010, 03:03:43 AM
Not a once.

But we'll see how bad it is. When you think about the place I come from is a septic tank of pure negativity and hatred. Like a rotten cesspool that breeds disease and horrid parasites of man, the things that crawl out are known to everyone else as 'nightmares'.

Does it smell and feel like shit? Because if so, we just found you a career path!
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Bias Bus on February 01, 2010, 03:31:29 AM
Does it smell and feel like shit? Because if so, we just found you a career path!
It does if you're not used to crushing misery and depression.

It has an odd odor to it. The smell of it is like a mountain of decomposing corpses that boil in a cauldron of cheese.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Tamer Anode/Cathode on February 01, 2010, 03:43:36 AM
Multiple Shikirosis or MS

Professor, I know it's impolite to correct the instructor, and I'm not really one of the top performers in this class, but isn't MS Multiple Shinkirosis?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: ♛ Apher-Forte on February 01, 2010, 03:50:55 AM
>>D. Eirin wanted to study Eiki's Lawful Lawful nature, and asked for a blood sample. That's actually a Yamathrocyte under the microscope, secreting enough lawfulness to turn a bacterial colony into a civilization.

I laughed.

really damn hard.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Maid Xan~ on February 01, 2010, 03:54:57 AM
Professor, I know it's impolite to correct the instructor, and I'm not really one of the top performers in this class, but isn't MS Multiple Shinkirosis?

/me  sleeptalks

zzzz No, no, no. There can be only ONE Shinki. The Daemonobasilicus Shinki bacterium produces a chemical that kills other bacteria of the species, as well as attracted various related species of bacteria with which it has a symbiotic relationship. Do you pay no attention at all?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Bias Bus on February 01, 2010, 04:10:22 AM
Memo to self: breed The Daemonobasilicus Shinki bacterium. Inject them into my body. Become one with my goddess.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Hello Purvis on February 01, 2010, 04:11:31 AM
It does if you're not used to crushing misery and depression.

It has an odd odor to it. The smell of it is like a mountain of decomposing corpses that boil in a cauldron of cheese.

Sewage is probably worse'n that. Ah well, you'll take to it like a fish to water! Maybe come up with a few more of those metaphors while you're at it.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: WHMZakeri on February 01, 2010, 04:15:43 AM
/me quietly circles the correct answer and returns to reading the biology book three chapters ahead.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: VIVItheFujoshi on February 01, 2010, 05:31:56 AM
*begin to bit her mechanical pencil*

um...i thing who can be A....but the idea to directs the cells for herself sound more like a virus (changing-destroying the chromosomes and put her own with her decisions about the black and white things of all in the red blood cells) and a Shikieiki is more like a living thing, like a bacteria or a kind of parasite...(no,parasite no,because she is beneficious, she no is a lazy XD) no, A is not. nomnomnom.
B...no,we are in biology class no philosophy class...um,can be,but i will read the other ones.um...nom,nom...
C...interesting theory, but in the esqueme look another thing...i can`t see the Medicine toxines (the poison of the bacteria XD)...and...In PoFV Shikieiki fight against all important great "body defenses" of Gensokyo too (Reimu,Marisa,Sakuya,Youmu...and even Cirno XD) that sound like a Lupus...and you know,never is Lupus.XD...nomnom.
D is the answer,because the Yamatrocite look identical like her origin, intication of her ADN...and, like the heart cells (who can beat like a micro heart too), she judges and diriges the other cells correctly.XD

*marks D option with a completly destroyed mechanical pencil*
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Solais on February 01, 2010, 12:20:59 PM
/me jumps up when Prof. Sukima enters

"GAPPY! YOU'RE ALIVE!!!"

/me clings to Prof. Sukima's legs and never letting her go.

/me notices the other Gappy when Prof. Sukima points at her.

"Waah, waaa, Gappy is not even alive and well, but there's two of her????" @_@

/me splits into her Fairy Form and her Human Form and clings to both Gappys and never letting them go.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: trancehime on February 01, 2010, 12:31:01 PM
I am no longer obligated to take such tests, so I'm going to stand outside the room and do obscene hand gestures while laughing with a maniacal expression.

+_+
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: HakureiSM on February 01, 2010, 02:15:22 PM
Professor Sukima! Professor Sukima! You didn't call my nam-

Wait, what the fuck am I doing here? I don't take biology.
Oh yeah, so Dusty, this friend of mine was ALL OVER the 'bird, y'know, but then he was watching the first video when you failed bad at starting for the first time and then a lot of crap hapenned and the fuel pump (or was it the hose) and he said lolwtfisthat the car is all bent and fucked did he like crash ir or something and I said lol no you stupid the radiator support is not there yet so the radiator is not like, in position right, and then the lighting of the video makes you think the roof is all fucked and blah blah blah blah...
/me continues to jabber alone while dusty is focused on this magazine full of Ran pics
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on February 01, 2010, 02:22:18 PM
Yeasts are technically alive, so does that mean we can make beer now?
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: dustyjo on February 01, 2010, 04:29:35 PM
the lighting of the video makes you think the roof is all fucked and blah blah blah blah...

The roof is kind of dented though. oh well.

/me continues reading.
Title: Re: Yumemi's Perfect Biology Classroom
Post by: HakureiSM on February 02, 2010, 01:53:28 AM
Yeah but by far not as much as the radiator makes it seem like.

Oh wait. Yeah. You people are taking an exam. Yeah, I shouldn't be here.