Ask a Staffer Ep. 6 - Purvis

[Kasu]

What type of clothing do you like the most?

What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

[axman36]

What would you do if the internet never came to be?

How long was the longest gaming session you've had?

[Hello Purvis]

Do you own a fedora? If you don't, would you?

I have one I picked up from goodwill back in '96 or so.

Where would you like to participate in archeological work?

Preferably someplace pleasant. By and large, I'm down with history of just about anywhere and anywhen.

Have you ever been on the site of an archeological excavation?

I have not.

If Reagan and W got into a street fight, who would win? (Both around the same age and all, seeing as Reagan is kinda dead)

W. He's more likely to be drunk, or on something that dulls his sense of pain.

What type of clothing do you like the most?

I like lighter stuff that gives my neck room to breath. Lighter clothing in general, even when it's cold; I'll just layer something over them when it's too cold.

What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

...Spiderman 3, I think?

What would you do if the internet never came to be?

Probably be a lot less chill.

How long was the longest gaming session you've had?

Probably more than 12 hours.

>_

[HakureiSM]

Do you own a mobile? If positive, what model? If negative, why not?

[E-Nazrin]

Does the parser count as one of your personas?

[UncertainJakutten]

Why did you fail to answer America wins when asked about a street fight between Reagan and W?

[Hello Purvis]

Do you own a mobile? If positive, what model? If negative, why not?

No. They are for rich people who can afford the monthly plans, and also for people who use phones. I am neither.

Does the parser count as one of your personas?

Am I the parser, or is the parser me? Such are the mysteries of life. Try and understand they, but can you? Nope! They're mysteries!

Why did you fail to answer America wins when asked about a street fight between Reagan and W?

Why did you fail to consider the surviver count would not be a positive number?

[Alfred F. Jones]

What is your favourite kind of weapon to give a character?

How big is the town or city you live in, in terms of size? I mean to ask if it's got enough places to wander around to and explore.

[N-Forza]

For your apparent dislike of the US and its politics, why have you decided to remain in the country?

[Mimachiro]

Is a bigger weapon better?

Do you own any weapons? (legally I hope)

Which Touhou would you associate with heavy weaponry?

[あさらぎシジェ]

Do you own a fedora? If you don't, would you?

I have one I picked up from goodwill back in '96 or so.

Do you ever wear it while playing Mafia?

[Hello Purvis]

What is your favourite kind of weapon to give a character?

Probably knives. Typically I go with what I feel fits them.

How big is the town or city you live in, in terms of size? I mean to ask if it's got enough places to wander around to and explore.

I live out in the countryside. The nearest town has a population of about 4000 according to the census, which I am convinced is a damn dirty lie; it's only about a fourth of that, and they included a whole lot of the surrounding rural area. As such, there really isn't much out here. Most of the land is cultivated, and what's left is not very interesting either, mostly cleared out fields with the periodic trash heap. Not to mention there would be a great deal of trespassing involved to get to anything that would be interesting. I tend to visit my grans on the weekend, though, and they live in a whitey'd out suburb that's been around for decades, so it has a nice mix of older style good houses and cardboard baby McMansions that look like horseshit.

For your apparent dislike of the US and its politics, why have you decided to remain in the country?

Well, first off I don't have a real choice. No money to leave with, nowhere to go where I'd be welcome enough to establish myself. Not being able to sleep proper severely limits my options, as well. And, on top of that, as I said earlier, the place I live is where I belong. My roots and the people important to me are here.

Is a bigger weapon better?

Well welly, my droog, I only need a malenky britva to shive you right in the keeshkas.

Do you own any weapons? (legally I hope)

Couple of cheap swords, a couple of knives.

Which Touhou would you associate with heavy weaponry?

Well, Marisa has an ICBM.

I have one I picked up from goodwill back in '96 or so.

Do you ever wear it while playing Mafia?

I don't play Mafia.

[Alfred F. Jones]

Do you enjoy photography at all?

How did your interest in RPing come about?

What does your family think of your hobbies of RPing and playing various games online and such, if anything?

[Zengar Zombolt]

Well, Marisa has an ICBM.

Does she throw it like this?

[Shadoweh]

Why don't you play Mafia?

[Mimachiro]

What's the best name for a missile, ever?

If you were going to send a missile at someone, what kind if message/image would you paint on it?

Why hasn't anyone made a mod where Marisa rides Mimi-chan instead of her broom?

[Kasu]

Is there a reason why you call Koakuma "Petite" in your text adventures or is it just personal preference?

[Hello Purvis]

Do you enjoy photography at all?

Photography is not art because you don't make it with your own hands. You just coincidence into something. I really don't have a robust appreciation for it. I tend to, by default, regard it as less artistic and more record keeping unless I'm really forcing myself to try to regard it as art. I suspect this is me being the historian.

How did your interest in RPing come about?

I spent my early childhood in a bustling urban neighborhood. Got a taste for JRPGs. Then I moved out into the county in the middle of nowhere, and there was pretty much nothing to do at all and nowhere to go for miles. (And after those miles, still really nowhere to be). There wasn't much to do except read; as the Internets were a good 7-8 years away from being a thing I could have. RPing pretty much became a way to make a game out of the terrible stories floating in my head. And it let me indulge my taste for world minutia.

What does your family think of your hobbies of RPing and playing various games online and such, if anything?

On one hand, they think it's really weird and sort of dumb, so I almost never elaborated on it. On the other, they were probably happy I wasn't out being a delinquent, like I probably would have been out of boredom and poverty otherwise.

Does she throw it like this?

Protip: Right click video => URL at current time.

Why don't you play Mafia?

Doesn't really appeal to me, there's no real solid basis to do anything, so it feels like firing shots in the dark and looking for typos.

What's the best name for a missile, ever?

Izchak.

If you were going to send a missile at someone, what kind if message/image would you paint on it?

On the front: If you can read this, reconsider your views on religion very quickly.

Why hasn't anyone made a mod where Marisa rides Mimi-chan instead of her broom?

I don't know, but that really is a shame.

Is there a reason why you call Koakuma "Petite" in your text adventures or is it just personal preference?

A doujin whose name I completely forgot used it. It seemed like a very fitting actual name, as opposed to the standard one which is more of a description. It also let me name Koakumom Madeliene

[HakureiSM]

Do you own any handheld game console?

[Alfred F. Jones]

What is the historical era or culture you most feel you don't understand?

Do you like writing on college-rule paper, wide-rule paper, blank paper, or another kind of paper?

[theshirn]

Can you define Steampunk for me?  Cyberpunk?

[Mimachiro]

If the Internet disappeared, what would you do?

When you look at a full moon, do you see a smiling man, or a rabbit pounding mochi?

Where did you get Izchak from?

[Hello Purvis]

Do you own any handheld game console?

y u so not reed annsir?

What is the historical era or culture you most feel you don't understand?

Pacific Island nations. I know pretty much nothing about them at all.

Do you like writing on college-rule paper, wide-rule paper, blank paper, or another kind of paper?

College ruled. Or legal pads if I'm note taking.

Can you define Steampunk for me?  Cyberpunk?

Steampunk is a setting that presume steam power never got replaced by petrolium powered engines. Typically, it goes on to assume that since we didn't get out of the steam age, other technologies that followed also were not able to happen. Except when they did. Anyways, since steam never went out of style, it also evolved, so you'll see steam-powered cards, punch-card internets, and stuff like that. Typically culture hasn't evolved from the 19th century either, leading to some "hilarious" old-timey racism in the form of the White Man's Burden type stuff, though more and more it's being used as a way to get fantasyesque technology in fantasy settings; since about FF6 or so.

Cyberpunk is a near future setting, which has had to evolve as time went on. In general, it is based on the idea that corporations have grown to be more powerful than nations, and the general government structure has vastly degraded. Corporations somtimes create their own corporate states; either de jure or de facto. The setting tends to be dark and gritty (and many writers take it too far and screw things up), where crime is common, life is cheap, and so on. Technology has advanced, thus the cyber bit, while society has degraded. Generally it works off assuming current trends continue onward. 80's sci-fi often featured the USSR as still there and still important; and Asia as the new cultural and financial hegemon. Then those thins collapsed, and in the 90's you'd see the EU as the new financial/cultural center, and so on.

Cyberpunk tends to have slightly more literary merit, as it's obstensibly about predicting possible futures rather than being complete fantasy as steampunk is. Both obviously have a great deal of potential. And tend to be handled by literary mooks. Good RP settings have come out them, though!

If the Internet disappeared, what would you do?

I would be a very sad panda.

When you look at a full moon, do you see a smiling man, or a rabbit pounding mochi?

I see a Rorschach Test.

Where did you get Izchak from?

My son, I am very saddened by your lack of knowledges.
 

[日巫子]

What's the meaning behind your signature?

[Alfred F. Jones]

What kind of reforms would you like to see passed in the US in the next decade or so, and how big are the chances of them actually being enacted?

When something happens to you that's worth celebrating, what do you do to celebrate it?

If I wanted to start reading your text adventures, where should I start and in what order should I go in?

[Hello Purvis]

What's the meaning behind your signature?

It means you need to see the most poignant message of the NES era, and also play one of it's very bestest.

What kind of reforms would you like to see passed in the US in the next decade or so, and how big are the chances of them actually being enacted?

Oh where to begin. Defund our James Supervillain Weapon Research, end the bush tax cuts for the wealthy, straight up no questions legalize gay marraige, create a half decent social safety net, get some alternative fuels research going with the savings from the military superweapons being defunded and yes that includes nuclear, and christ I could go for days about outlawing various kinds of corporate fuckery.

I don't see much of this happening. Maybe the gay marriage thing, since it's not really a money issue.

When something happens to you that's worth celebrating, what do you do to celebrate it?

Chill with my homies, usually. Celebration options are kinda limited. Haven't even gone out to eat for my birthday in ages.

If I wanted to start reading your text adventures, where should I start and in what order should I go in?

Chronological. Start with Patchy Quest, proceed forward. Ran Quest is kind of a sidestory and can be ignored. It's largely a retelling of UFO and explaining one of the little setting mysteries.

[Mimachiro]

If you were to go into space, which five touhou would be on your ship's crew?

What do you believe to be the best energy source?

How would you feel if they built a nuclear reactor in your town? Within sight of your home?

[HakureiSM]

What types of food do you enjoy?

Did I just make a repeated question?

[Alfred F. Jones]

Do you watch much TV? If so, what do you watch? If not, why not?

Do you wear any hats other than that fedora you mentioned?

[Conqueror]

Slightly personal questions:

When did you start using the Internet, and what for?
What is your most valuable possession?
How have your life goals evolved over the years, and what are they now?
If you were forced to move to another country, which would it be?