Author Topic: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First  (Read 400922 times)

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #30 on: March 04, 2010, 03:57:46 PM »
Just curious, why did Koishi become a cosmic horror? (Also, the monster reminds me of Aku. So yeah.)
Hinted at the beginning when she called out saying 'Utusho is dead'.

Koishi and the monster had became one, or at least the monster possessed her, long before Utusho and Rin discovered the pit. Plus, Koishi as a cosmic horror is strangely fitting, given her powers and all.
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #31 on: March 07, 2010, 12:36:34 PM »
The time limit is drawing close and we only got two entries? Aww, come on.

On another note, since Ruro has been absent those last days: If she's not popping up till tonight, I would like Roukanken to prepare for jumping in as a judge. Unless you are planning to submit something yourself, in which case the next person on my list would be Tengukami.


  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #32 on: March 07, 2010, 01:22:46 PM »
I would like Roukanken to prepare for jumping in as a judge. Unless you are planning to submit something yourself, in which case the next person on my list would be Tengukami.
Gah, it's like you can read my mind. >_<

Sorry, I was meaning to get around to producing something tonight. I have an idea I want to work with...sorry, Ammy. :<


  • Hello I'm Kaguya
  • and I'm a LOOONEY
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #33 on: March 07, 2010, 05:52:37 PM »
The time limit is drawing close and we only got two entries? Aww, come on.
I got somethin' as soon as my sister gets off of my computer

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #34 on: March 07, 2010, 09:26:04 PM »
Okay, no prob Rou. I'm looking forward to more entries.

Due to lack of Ruro, here's my plan for now: Deadline is still quite a bit away, about nine hours if I'm not confusing timezones too much. That means the deadline will be hit at the time I'll wake up tomorrow. At that time, judging of the entries will begin, results will as usual be announced once all judges have done their job. Judges will be me, Chaore and possibly Tengukami, whom I have not asked if he can do it yet. If he can't do it for some reason, I'll probably ask Gappy.
All of this obviously becomes obsolete if there's news from Ruro, which is what I hope for, but I better want to have a plan B ready.


  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #35 on: March 07, 2010, 09:56:28 PM »
"Aw, one of those nights again?"

Flandre Scarlet kicked at the doll lying on the floor in front of her in frustration. Its head snapped clean off and collided with the opposite wall, leaving a dent in the plaster. The young vampire had been confined to her room once again by her sister, who'd claimed that she had 'business' to attend to. This had happened a dozen times already this month, and every time it meant Flandre had so sit in her room alone, with no-one to talk to or play with. Except these puppets, anyway, but they were too fragile to be any fun.

"I'm so booooooored~!"

Flandre's crystalline wings flapped behind her as she started to fidget. Why was it fair that when her big sis got to go out at night she had to sit in all by herself? Even Sakuya and Patchouli stayed away from her at times like this? They'd make weird excuses like 'I'm making tea' and 'I'm not feeling well', and then they'd just disappear. It was suspicious, enough that even a kid like her could figure it out.

"I bet they're having a party, and they didn't invite me. They're so mean..."

She pouted as she got to her feet, making her way up the staircase out of the basement. The door out was locked with dozens of various bars, locks and barricades. They weren't designed to keep Flandre in as much as they were to keep other people from walking in on her and getting turned into mincemeat.

She pushed the door casually, as if it had never been locked in the first place. There was a painful creaking sound as every lock broke off with ease, snapping with all the resistance of paper. Flandre smiled, stepping out into the corridors of the Scarlet Devil Mansion despite her sister's commands.

"Eh? What's that in the sky?"

One of the Mansion's windows was open, allowing the moonlight to seep in. Remilia had never been a fan of oil lamps, visitors always whipped them to see if there were hearts inside for no reason. She could make out the world beyond the Misty Lake - once a beautiful country, now an overgrown city complex. They called it Gensokyotham now, for reasons no-one had ever passed on to her.

There was something hanging in the sky, too - a pale red light, from some sort of beacon. A black symbol of a bat was contrasted with the light in order to stand out. Flandre looked out at the beacon in wonder, its colour seeming strangely familiar.

Her attention span soon shifted onto a butterfly making its way down the corridor, and the thought of the bat-beacon in the air was last to her.


"She usually gets here sooner than this."

Inspector Kotohime tapped a finger on the railing as the overgrown lamp did its job. She glanced at the watch on her wrist - a simplistic thing, with cogs and gears coming out on all sides. The Gensokyotham Police Department had installed this a month ago, and it was only for use when all else failed. It was, in short, a distress signal, to call on the individual who had become the city's greatest hero.

"If she doesn't get here soon, I'm not sure what we're going to do-"

"Then I suppose you should be grateful for my arrival."

Kotohime flinched as a voice rose from behind her. It wasn't the heroine she was trying to contact - it never was. This was her subordinate, a cold and calculated young woman in a sharp black suit with striking silver hair. She eyed Kotohime's watch with disapproval.

"You're late, Izayoi."

The woman shrugged.

"My mistress requires certain preparations. Would you prefer if we simply didn't emerge at all?"

"Good point."

Kotohime sighed as she reached into her robes, pulling out a set of documents. She eyed them over once before handing them over to the woman she addressed as Izayoi.

"Here's our perp at the moment. Letty Whiterock. Calls herself the Big Freeze. She's been responsible for a string of thefts and holdups for the last week, but we can't touch her. I've got five officers still in the hospital from hypothermia, and one guy we had to chisel out by hand. Our criminologists say she's likely to hit the Kamishirasawa Museum tonight. They're showing a new series of ice sculptures that Whiterock apparently has her eyes on."

Izayoi looked over the documents, most of all the photograph of the criminal. She couldn't help but notice that Miss Whiterock was somewhat...pudgy. Apparently Big Freeze was a more accurate pseudonym than she was likely willing to admit.

"Understood. We shall have her captured by sunrise."

Kotohime forced a grin. She hadn't seen this keenness to act in the force for some time.

"Alright. Mind if I pass on one last message to your-"

She blinked again, and the girl was gone. All that remained of her was a single piece of paper, jammed beneath Kotohime's foot.

It read, simply, 'Your watch was seven seconds fast. Forgive me for taking the time to correct it. ~十六夜'

Kotohime growled.

"I hate it when she does that."


Of course, the museum in question was as aware of the potential threat as Inspector Kotohime was. Extra security had been called in from all corners of the city, everything that their somewhat scarce budget could hope to afford. The end result of this was six fully-armed guards, spellcards at the ready, all hunched around a few blocks of ice shaped to look like people.

Art was a curious thing.

One of these guards seemed younger than the rest; a fairy, with a pair of blue crystallic wings protruding from her back. She eyed her companions, yawning slightly.

"Geez, this is boring. It's not even like these sculptures are any good, y'know. Maybe we oughta just hand 'em over?"

The other guards - large, bulky oni in proper body armour, turned to her in surprise. They took a few seconds to comprehend exactly what she'd said.

They then proceeded to burst into haughty laughter.

"Jeez, kid, you serious?! No way this Big Freeze chick is ever gonna be able to offer us as much as we're gettin' paid here."

The five guards continued to laugh uncontrollably, leaning on each other simply so they wouldn't fall over. The fairy didn't seem affected, her eyes closing slightly.

"Gave you a chance. Can't deny that."

She clicked her fingers, muttering something beneath her breath.

"...Perfect Freeze."

Moments later, there were 5 less guards in the room. And 5 more blocks of ice. The lone fairy stuck her tongue out at the now paralysed oni.

"That'll teach you to mess with the strongest~"

She continued to smirk as the door behind her opened, bringing a new chill into the room. The new entrant needed to squeeze a little to get into the room fully, but she pulled it off in the end. She took a moment to witness her apprentice's handiwork, before wrapping her arms around her in a gentle hug.

"Good work, Cirno. I chose well with you, I know it."

The fairy's wings fluttered with pride.

"Thanks, Miss Whiterock! Not that I'd be anything without your help, of course!"

Letty nodded. Cirno was the only person she allowed to refer to her by name, and with good reason - she was to be her successor. Right now she was basically the Little Freeze, but Cirno had potential greater than any youkai Letty had ever met.

"...Anyway. We're stealing these, right?"

Letty shook her head, surprising the fairy.

"We can't let people manipulate ice like this. They take our element into their hands? Someone needs to show them a little respect."

She outstretched a hand.

"Feel free to shatter them all. And if you 'miss' and take out one of those guards...well, I won't mind."

There was a smile on her face that seemed far too calm. Cirno nodded regardless, eager to please.

"Right! Time to show them just what I can-"

"Stop right there."

A third voice, from above. Letty and Cirno were both caught off guard, flinching as they looked upward. A small, hooded figure looked down on both of them, no part of her visible beyond her eyes and the demonic wings coming from her back. Her stare was as cold as the air around her, and she looked fearlessly into the eyes of the criminal.

Letty forced a grin.

"Heh. So you found us?"

There was no response from the hood. Letty bit her lip.

"...Cirno, I'll leave this to you."


The fairy nodded in approval at the new duty she was given. She wasn't even slightly aware that she was basically being used as a sacrifice. There was a barely audible sigh from above.

Letty wasted no time getting through the doorway this time, leaving her apprentice to face the mystery figure above. Cirno wasted no time moving straight into the trash talk.

"So, you think you're fancy just because you have a pretty hood? Look here, missy, you're not going to beat me. After all, I'm the stro-"

Beneath the hood, Cirno's opponent had already pulled out a weapon and thrown it. A tiny bat-shaped piece of metal caught the fairy on the side of the head.

It disoriented her enough for a full on attack. The hood leapt down from above, swooping onto Cirno with her leathery wings. A drop kick to the face was enough to stop her before she could declare any sort of attack.

Cirno had potential, true, but she also had a habit of talking too much.


"Hah, hah, hah..."

It was times like this Letty wished she could have been the Petit Freeze or the Not-Particularly-Chubby Freeze. Running was never really her specialty, and as she chugged past the guards she herself had frozen she felt an urge to stop for a breather. Still, Cirno would probably only be able to hold that vigilante off for so long.

She'd heard the rumours - a hooded figure who'd taken out every criminal to threaten Gensokyotham for the last month - but she'd assumed she was just an urban myth passed around by the police to scare people away. Now, though, she knew for a fact this caped crusader was very much real.

Something moved above her. She couldn't make out where in particular, but her eyes were drawn to the ceiling. She saw nothing.

"Who's there?!"

The figure above her moved, always positioning herself outside Letty's line of sight. The Big Freeze grew more and more desperate.

"S-Show yourself! Stop hiding!"

Her fear seeped through into her voice regardless. The figure waited, allowing her opponent's mind to win the battle for her.

Then she emerged.


Letty heard a pair of feet hit the floor behind her. The hooded figure stared her in the eyes again, and her body unconsciously started to step backward.

There was silence.


"Evildoer, you are a stain on the justice of this world!"

The figure pulled away her cape, revealing something thoroughly unexpected underneath. It was a young girl, with pale blue hair and crimson eyes, and wearing of all things a skin-tight scarlet outfit underneath which offered her all the coverage of a swimsuit. A belt along her waist had a variety of gadgets hanging from it, weapons and all, and a ring on one of her fingers had a simple insignia of a bat engraved on it. Beneath the hood was a poofy hat in a colour that must have once been white but had now turned slightly pink for reasons unknown. And - was it just the ice around her, or was she sparkling...?

"When evil threatens the city of Gensokyotham...
When villains fall upon the night...
They are fated to fall to me! The Scarlet Devil!"

Letty was torn between the urge to laugh and cry, and chose simply to watch this scene in awe.

"And now, in the name of the Scarlet Moon, I will punish you!"

The girl lifted her ring finger into the air, and the trinket started to pulse with a crimson light. A line emerged, expanding and gaining shape until within a few minutes it had taken form as a spear. It fell into her hand, still shining with all the power of love and justice. The moon's light fell on her, itself gaining a light red tint as if in respect of her power.

"Here it comes! My ultimate attack...!"

She lifted her arm up, ready to fling the spear at her foe. Letty was still too enawed to notice, let alone dodge.

"Take this! Super Special Scarlet Smasher Number XIII - Spear The Gungnir!!"

It flew at a blinding pace across the room, hitting Letty square in the chest and sending her slamming into the wall. The magical weapon was designed not to kill, but the impact from the collision was still enough to knock her out cold.

The Scarlet Devil took a few moments to bask in her victory. Both her foes had been eliminated, and the day was saved.

But still-

"Milady, I believe you were supposed to save your final attack until after everything else had failed."

Izayoi - or rather, Sakuya - had emerged from nowhere, as usual. She came into existence somewhere behind Remilia's left shoulder. The vampire pouted.

"It worked, didn't it? I don't understand why I have to start by using my weak attacks first."

"But that was what Lady Patchouli insisted. She knows more about this crimefighting business than either of us."

Remilia wasn't as convinced, though with Sakuya you could never tell is she really was as resolute as she sounded. Every so often she was certain that her servant missed her old maid uniform.

"I don't feels sort of like she's taken two different ideas and merged them together. And I was fine just being some hooded hero...did she need to throw in this whole magical thing?"

Behind them, the sounds of sirens started to rise up. That was their cue to leave.

"Well, it's something to bring up later. For now, we should be making our way out."

Sakuya had already retreived her cape, and Remilia accepted it and strapped it back on as she flew through an open window and out of sight. She was back to being the mysterious, caped crusader the world knew to be the Scarlet Devil.

The only ones who claimed otherwise were the hysterical criminals who she apprehended, and their claims were assumed to simply be an attempt to discredit her. After all, what sort of caped crusader would really be so sparkly and magical beneath the hood?


And meanwhile, back at the mansion, watching it all from afar, Patchouli Knowledge lay unconscious from blood loss. Her hand was still held upwards in a thumbs-up motion.'re so cute~

Behind her, the door to the library was torn off its hinges.

"Patchy, I wanna play! Let's- wait, is that...sis...?"


It's sort of a good thing Ruro is absent on the week I write about Remi, isn't it? :V


Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #36 on: March 08, 2010, 02:43:42 AM »
Yukari snarled and twisted the fabric of reality once again, tearing the thing that was trying to enter Gensoukyo into pieces before shunting it fifteen dimensions away.

The threat gone for now, Yukari allowed herself to slump downward.  With the adrenaline fading, she didn't even have the strength to wipe the blood from her wounds.  Fortunately within seconds Ran was there, binding the tears and cuts.

Ran worked in silence for a little while before speaking up.  ?Yukari-sama, you won't be able to hold them off much longer.  If you'll let me...?

Yukari tried to shake her head, cringed at the pain, then settled for sighing.  ?No Ran.  I need you to keep the Hakurei Barrier intact.  Besides these creatures can't be killed through normal methods.?  Yukari closed her eyes and thought about the matter for a bit. 

After a while she sighed again.  ?I'd wanted to avoid doing this, but it seems we need to harness a different type of magic to destroy these things permanently.?

?Ran, I have a mission for you.?


?It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Ran Yakumo,? the smiling woman said.  ?I don't suppose Miss Yukari Yakumo will be joining us as well??

Ran shook her head.  ?I'm afraid Yukari-sama is currently busy at the moment, Lady Hijiri, though she does send her apologies for not being able to meet you in person.  She promises to drop by as soon as she can to formally welcome you to Gensoukyo.?

Byakuren Hijiri considered the matter.  She'd had no official contact with Gensoukyo's mysterious creator, but she had heard rumors.  Those, combined with Ran's jumpy mood, indicated that the shikigami was here for more then just a polite greeting.

?I look forward to being able to meet her when she has time, then.?  Byakuren took a sip of her tea before continuing.  ?I don't suppose there's something I could help you with while you are here??

Ran considered the matter for some time, occasionally starting to speak before pausing to reflect further.  Finally she stated, ?I need to borrow your mouse.?

There was a thump from one of the crawlspaces followed by scurrying.  ?Unzan, could you catch Nazarin please?? Byakuren called out.  Turning back to Ran she stated politely but firmly, ?You'll of course need to explain this in full.?

Ran sighed.  ?I'll try....?


Reimu Hakurei sighed as she swept the steps leading to her shrine.  For such a small out of the way shrine the grounds were absolutely huge.  Which meant a lot of Reimu's time was occupied sweeping, washing and otherwise cleaning the place over and over again.

She sighed as the last step was cleaned.  She considered cleaning more of the steps, but what was the point?  It was a huge walk from the human village, and she couldn't clear the whole path by herself.

?Hakurei Reimu!?

Reimu blinked at the small squeaky voice.  She immediately looked around to see if a fairy was playing a prank on her.

Instead she saw a mouse.

?Hakurei Reimu.  You have been chosen to save Gensoukyo from the forces of darkness,? the mouse squeaked.

Reimu gave the mouse a long disapproving glare.  ?I know that already.  Part of the Hakurei shrine maiden bit.  Really Nazarin, I thought you'd be above these games.  Show some pride!  You're a servant to a deity.?

Nazarin's tail and ears twitched.  ?Look, I don't like this either, but it has to be done to save the world from destruction.  You have to take this wand and become Mahou Shojou Paradise Miko!?  The mouse produced a gohei from somewhere and somehow held it towards the miko.

Reimu sighed.  ?This is Yukari's doing.  I can tell.?

?Yeah, but this time it's...?  Nazarin's ears twitched again before she scurried behind Reimu.  ?Oh no!  It's too late.?

Reimu looked up to see a amorphous mass of dark slime roiling onto the shrine grounds from the forest.  Probably an unintelligent youkai she thought.  ?Hey!  I just cleaned that!?  She tossed two homing amulets to warn it off.

The amulets flew straight and true, then fizzled as they struck the monster.  ?That won't work!  They aren't ordinary youkai.?  Nazarin yelled from her hiding space.  ?You need to use the magic of love to banish these monsters!?

?We'll see about that,? muttered Reimu as she fished out one of her more powerful cards.  ?Demon Binding Circle!?  The massive magical attack spread out and splattered the thing back into the forest.

Reimu smirked.  ?See I told you....?  Her grin changed to a worried look as the slime reformed.  What's worse it looked as if the attack had strengthened it.  Reimu began fishing for another orb when Nazarin poked her with the gohei.

?Please just use the wand!  I can explain later!? the small mouse said.

As the shrine maiden of Gensoukyo Reimu knew when to roll with the strangeness.  ?Alright....  But this better be a good explanation.?  She grabbed the gohei.  ?Now what??

?Say Paradise Miko Power, Transform.?

?I'm going to kill Yukari for this.?  Reimu sighed then held the gohei over her head.  ?Paradise Miko Power, Transform!?

The short staff flared with magical power paralyzing everyone in the area.  This was probably a good thing, because immediately afterwards Reimu's clothes exploded into light.  Reimu found herself spun about as ribbons twisted themselves into a new set of clothes, each piece appearing in order like a reverse strip tease.  Finally the light faded, leaving Reimu wearing... a shrine maiden outfit with gloves instead of detached sleeves, boots instead of sandals and a much shorter skirt.

"Someone will die for this," Reimu stated with calm fury.
"Hopefully it'll be the monster.  Use your Fantasy Paradise Orb!"

"That's named worse then a Remilia Spellcard.  Oh well, whatever.  Fantasy Paradise Orb!"  Reimu spun around and fired a red yin yang orb from her hand.  This time the monster disintigrated with a mournful howl, as the bolt struck home.

Nazarin sighed as she returned to humanoid form.  "Finally."

As Reimu leaned over her, she had a sudden desire to revert to mouse form and scurry into the undergrowth.  "This had better be a real good explanation."


Sanae smiled and stretched.  The mornings cleaning had been done, and she had plenty of charms and fortunes ready for sale.  It was noonish, so the steady trickle of kappa and tengu was slacking off.  It was a nice break before the evening rush.

Sanae's good mood faded immediately as she felt a ward break.  Usually that meant nothing, but sometimes it signified real danger.  Sanae flew towards the area cautiously.

Her caution was well placed as a blob of hissing green liquid just barely missed her.  Sanae turned in the direction the acid was fired from to see what looked to be a giant beetle made out of black goo.  It reminded her of something from one of her morning cartoon shows.  One thing was certain, it wasn't playing by spell card rules.

"Fine then.  In the name of Lady Yasaka, and by my divine blood I seal you," Sanae stated closing her eyes and drawing a five pointed star with her gohei.  The lines materialized into divine energy then flew towards the creature.

Then bounced off with a pathetic *doink* sound.

Sanae looked at the monster incredulously.  "Where's the sealing?  There was supposed to be a youkai incinerating sealing."

The bug thing spat again, forcing Sanae to dodge away.  The seemingly futile exchange continued for some time, with the bug unable to land a blow, and Sanae unable to hurt it.  However Sanae soon noticed she was tiring while the monster showed no sign of slowing.  If the battle continued this way, she would lose.

"Paradise Needle Freeze!"

A tiny glowing missile flew across the grounds and slammed into the creatures side.  As it's name indicated, the dart seemed to cause the bug to have a paralytic breakdown.  It collapsed while it's legs twitched violently.  Looking back along the missiles path Sanae saw Reimu, in what could only be a magical girls outfit.  In addition there was a mouse dashing towards her with a gohei in it's mouth trying to say something.

Sanae knew immediately what to do.

She grabbed the gohei and held it up to the sky proclaiming "Miracle Miko Power, Transform!"

Sanae was a little worried about being able to pull off the transformation poses, but she found the magic did most of the work for her.  She was a little embarassed at the degree of the chest shot lean, but it could have been worse.  As the light faded she did her best Sailor Moon pose.  "In the name of the Moriya Shrine, I will punish you!"

Not wanting to waste her moment of awesome Sanae quickly pointed at the creature, "Miracle Azure Tornado!"

At the miko's command a gust of blue force flew from her hand and smashed into the bug, sending it flying away in disintegrating sparks.

The threat passed, Reimu walked over to Sanae.  "I suppose you'll want an explanation?"

Sanae was nearly bouncing with joy.  "Explanation?  Isn't it obvious?  These monsters are composed of pure negative feelings, and we've been granted the power of love to battle them for the fate of all Gensoukyo!  Nazarin is our animal helper and we're the soldiers of LOVE!  Possibly also justice."

Reimu's expresion soured.  "How is it you know everything already?  If you are somehow responsible for this incident too I will hurt you so badly..."

"Now now Reimu, this time the Moriya shrine is, surprisingly, innocent."  Yukari walked out of one of her gaps as the surprised trio turned to face her voice.

Reimu's held back her initial harsh words when she saw the youkai was obviously trying to hide some injuries.  Despite Yukari's smile, the issue seemed serious.  "So what is happening, Yukari?  You usually deal with this sort of incident personally.  Why the light shows and skimpy outfits?"

"Because normal methods won't work.  Many youkai are created by humans.  These youkai were strong in the outside world right now, and thus they must be destroyed by the methods humans believe they can be destroyed by."

"Ah!"  Sanae clapped her hands together in understanding.  "I get it.  We have to destroy them this way because that's the only way the outside world believes they can be destroyed."

Yukari smiled.  "Well actually it's the opposite.  Remember disbelief sends things through the border."

Sanae and Nazarin looked at Reimu in the hopes that she might know what the gap youkai was hinting at.  Reimu thought a bit before replying.  "So we have to destroy them this way because the outside world thinks it's stupid and any old attack should work?  I happen to agree with them here."

Yukari shrugged.  "You take the good with the bad.  I like existing, so..."

Nazarin reverted to her prefered form before turning to Yukari.  "So why do I have to run around in animal form until after they transformed?  And why did you need me at all?  Couldn't you have sent your cat on this mission?"

Yukari shrugged again.  "Sorry, Chen's not quite experienced enough to be the animal mentor figure, and Ran is busy holding the barrier.  But cheer up!  You only need one more member!  You've got the main character who wants to quit,"  she pointed at Reimu, "and the hyper genki girl who jumped at the call," Yukari pointed at Sanae, "bonus points for being genre savvy.  Now all you need is a moe moe girl or a girl with burning passion, and the trio will be complete!"

Nazarin sighed.  "And you need my power to find them, right?"

"Yep!  After that you can scurry back to supporting cast."

"Well lets get this over with...."

Youmu turned her focus entirely on the target.  The rest of the world faded from view.  Only her, and her enemy, remained.  The empty world froze, waiting for the perfect moment.

The moment came.  Her sword struck.

The log she had been targeting fell in two, neatly bisected by her strike.  She sighed however, when she realized she'd struck the leaf in front of it as well.  "I guess I need more training..."

The next thing she knew there was a cloth over her nose and mouth and four pairs of arms holding her fast.  She tried to struggle, but she found consciousness slipping away too quickly.

Just before consciousness left her, she heard two voices.

"Are you sure this will be okay with our boss?"

"Hey, this is how we were asked to do it, I'm not going to argue.  Now lets get ready for when she wakes up...."


Nazarin, back in mouse form, slowly but surely led them to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.  "The third girl is definitely somewhere in there."

Sanae looked over at Reimu.  "You still think it's Marisa?"

Reimu nodded. "She always shows up to these things."  She scooped up Nazarin then began flying around the back.  "Let's skip fighting the gate guard and get this over with quick before another fight starts and we have to transform.  Remilia'd never let me live down that outfit."

Reimu, of course, had doomed herself right there.  Besides, they were certain to find the girl just in the nick of time.  Sanae wisely kept her mouth shut however.  Reimu was obviously not as happy about all this as she was.

The three touched down in the back gardens.  Reimu looked around.  "Any second now..."

There was the unique sound of time unfreezing and Sakuya appeared before them.  "Hello.  Are you here for a specific reason, or just to visit the mistress?"

"Actually we're looking for Marisa.  Nazarin here seems to think she's looting your library or something."  Reimu presented the mouse.

Sakuya's eyebrow twitched upward at that.  "While Ms Kirisame was here earlier she left some time ago after speaking with Lady Remilia and Ms Patchoui.  I'm fairly certain she's left the area."

Nazarin flicked her tail back and forth.  "I'm sure the person we're looking for is very close.  It must be someone other then Marisa."

"Oh!  Maybe you're secretly a moe moe character Sakuya!  We'd make a great team!" Sanae exclaimed.

Sakuya and Reimu just gave her a look in response.

Suddenly there was a massive explotion from the front gate.  Sakuya looked shocked then disappeared with her usual abruptness, leaving Reimu and Sanae to fly after her, Nazarin grimly clinging to Reimu's hairband.  "Why do we always seem to arrive five seconds too late," Reimu muttered.

Sanae coughed.  "Genre conventions."

Clearing the mansion they looked down to see fairy maids scattering wildly from the gate, where a brutal melee was going on.  Reimu and Sanae immediately recognized the attackers as being composed of the same black mass that the previous monsters had been made of.  These however seemed more humanoid, and far more intelligent.

Currently, however, they were all stuck at the gate as Meiling spun from one to another, striking them, then moving away.  Several knives and blood trails indicated that the mistress and maid of the house had been adding their firepower as well.  However the monsters seemed to suffer no real damage from any of the attacks.

"We have to help, Reimu.  Let's go!  Miracle Miko Power, Transform!"

Reimu winced.  "I hope no one's looking up...  Paradise Miko Power, Transform!"

Nazarin bailed off as the two newly minted magical girls flew into combat.  Quickly she began looking about for her own target.  She could feel the third magical girl was nearby.  She just had to find her.

And she needed to do it fast.  Reimu and Sanae were driving the foes back now, but these monsters seemed far more competent at dodging then the previous two did.

Finally Nazarin decided to just trust her senses.  She closed her eyes, summoned the gohei and jumped forward crying out "Quick!  Transform into Mahou Shoujou Burning Miko!"

"Right!"  Nazarin opened her eyes to see Meiling holding the gohei before her in a fighting pose.  "Burning Miko Power, Transform!"

A powerful green light shown over the the field as Meiling's clothes disintegrated.  Even without the paralysis most of the onlookers were stunned by the,... extravagance, of Meiling's poses.  Obviously fanservice levels had been too low before.

As the glow faded Meiling immediately sprang out of her finishing pose.  Leaping between each opponent she let out a loud string of kiai as she struck each one.  She finished the last one with a mighty kick, before posing once again.  "Burning Crack Fist!"  There was a brief pause before she continued, "You're already dead."  The evil figures all suddenly bulged, then exploded into disintegrating shards.

Sanae gave Meiling a look that was something between awe and disappointment.  "Um, that was really cool, but I think it's the wrong genre."

Reimu just shrugged.  "Whatever.  It worked.  We've got three now, so lets hunt down the mastermind and teach him what for!"

"Um..."  Meiling raised her hand to draw their attention.  "Would you mind explaining what's going on?  I do have a day job, so I can't just wander about..."

"Don't worry about that, Meiling."

Nazarin and the trio looked up to see Remilia descending to the battlefield.  "I think I have an idea about what's going on from the tengu's manga.  Go forth and punish them in the name of the Scarlet Moon!"

Reimu looked to the other actual miko, "So Sanae, is that joke as bad as I think it is?"

Reimila smiled.  "Oh, and white panties suit you, Reimu."

"Ah!  No, Reimu!  You can't use the powers of love against innocents!"


Satori looked away from the monitor.  "I see.  But forgive me, I'm not sure what exactly this has to do with your current request.  Not that I doubt you of course.  I'm just confused."

Shikieki nodded to the satori.  "True, the three have defeated all who have crossed their path so far.  And they haven't suffered a single casualty, personal or innocent, since their debut three months ago.  However I believe the main force of Evil will act soon.  While I have faith in their skills, it is better to win a battle overwhelmingly then to suffer casualties.  Thus why I have my own group of agents preparing."

Satori nodded at the Yama's words.  "I see.  Then you have the support of Chireiden."  She paused for a moment.  "I do have one thing to ask, what is 'Suupa Shiki Taimu?'"

Shiki took a sip from her teacup.  "Ah that?  It's just the fact that my appearance justifies skipping a lot of boring chronology and getting straight to the final battle."

Further conversation was broken up by a loud voice calling out "Oneeee-chan!"

Koishi rushed into the room and all but leaped on her sister.  *I love you so much!* the younger satori thought.

Satori was stunned.  "Koishi!  I can hear your heart!"

Koishi nodded.  "Yeah!  I was at home, when this dark voice started trying to tell me I should hate everyone.  But I didn't care because my heart was closed.  So then it started yelling in my head, pretending to be my third eye.  So I opened my third eye to see it so I could shut it up, and I saw how much you all cared for me.  It was really, really sweet!"

Shikieki jumped from the table at Koishi's words.  "So they're already on the move?  I should have guessed."

Koishi looked over at the Yama.  "Huh?  Dark magical girl?  Need to activate the canon?  You're thinking very fast."

Shikieki nodded.  "That's because this requires quick action.  The darkness must be recruiting it's own magical girl.  It's become fully sentient.  The final battle will soon begin."


Reimu, Sanae and Meiling looked up at the massive black tower that had appeared just a little while back.

Meiling said what they were all thinking.  "The final battle eh?"

Reimu smiled.  "About time."

Sanae looked about worriedly.  "I think there's still something we're missing.  I don't think this will be easy."

"Easy or not, it's going to end here," Reimu walked towards the massive tower doors, only to spring backwards as a massive energy blast shattered the ground before her.

"Unfair.  It's so unfair.  All of you playing without me.  Even Meiling.  Leaving me all alone."

The three looked up to see a figure in black and red.  The dress was a strange gothic lolita cut, but the wings and mad eyes of the girl made her identity immediately obvious to call.  In her hands a familiar twisted rod.

"I forgot!  There's always a dark magical girl mislead by feelings of solitude!" Sanae exclaimed.

"Wonderful.  And of course, it would have to be Flandre," Reimu muttered.

"Young Mistress!  It's not that we're trying to keep you from the fun.  We just want to protect you!" Meiling called out.

Flandre giggled.  "Oh really?  Well then, who's going to protect you?"  She raised her hand.  "Oblivion's Spear."  Massive lances of dark energy oozed into being before firing down at the ground.  The three girls sprang away as the ground once again exploded.

"Sorry Flan," Reimu called out, "but we don't have time for this!  Paradise..."

"Too slow."  Reimu felt a sudden twist inside, as Flandre's hand began closing on her point of tension.


Reimu found herself lying in someones arms several feet from where she's just been standing.  "You need to be more careful Reimu.  You could get hurt like that."

"Marisa!?"  Reimu looked up at the magician.  "What are you doing here?"

Marisa smiled.  "Well I actually came here looking to play with Flandre.  But I figured I'd lend a hand while I was around."

Flandre blinked for a moment.  "Eh, really?"  Then the darkness swirled around her again.  "Ergh... No!  You're lying!  Just like Onee-chan!  You don't really want me around!"

Marisa laughed.  "Really?  But we spent all this time making a toy just so you could join the fun."  Marisa held up a small charm on a string for Flandre to see.  "Patchouli pulled an all nighter for this.  At your sister's insistence no less."

Flandr seemed to hesitate.  "Really?  For me? I...  I... AAAAUGH!"  Flandre's body was struck by black lightning as the darkness around her swirled faster and faster.

"That evil energy isn't letting her go!" Sanae called out.

Reimu composed herself enough to hop from Marisa's arms.  "It looks like it's switching to direct mind control.  Even without her power, a vampires strength is pretty dangerous.  This'll be a tough battle."

"Yeah.  You three run ahead," Marisa said pulling out her mini-hakkero.  "I'll handle Flandre."

"But Marisa, only the magic of love can break that darkness," Sanae pointed out.

Marisa's smile grew even wider.  "Yukari wasn't the only one tossing out Magical powers.  Right Blazing Star?"

The mini-hakkero glowed as it answered.  "YES, MY MASTER."

Marisa tossed the reactor up into the air.  "Blazing Star, Set Up!"

The other three magical girls watched in envy as Marisa's body was surrounded by a glowing shield, concealing her transformation from the world.  As the barrier lifted they could see she was wearing a long black school uniform styled outfit with a few extra bows here and there.  Her hakkero had transformed into a broomlike staff, with a magazine locked into the side.

"Go on, and don't worry about me.  I'm going to befriend this girl again."

"Thanks Marisa!" Reimu shouted as the three ran forward.

Flandre began to move towards them but was stopped by a flashing laser.  "GUAAAAGH!"  The vampire rushed forward to smash into Marisa.


Flandre slammed into the magical barrier.  It started to crack, but a cartridge fired off and the barrier stabilized.

Marisa shook her head.  "Sorry Flan.  Looks like I'll have to cool your head a little before we can talk again."



Sanae searched through the darkness.  The three had moved into the building as a team, but some strange quirk of space had separated them as they walked through the door.  Now she wandered the halls alone.

"Reimu!  Meiling!  Can you hear me?"

"They've abandoned you girl.  Just as the goddess abandoned you...."

Sanae whirled around trying to find the source of the voice.  "What?  Who's there?"

"The ones that should have been.  The ones that are.  We the Mishaguji."

Sanae felt a brief tremor of fear.  "You're lying.  Moriya-sama has you all bound.  You're just fakes."

"Are we girl?"  The shadows laughed.  "To rise from curses is our gift.  And with the Moriya so weak from her failure of a miko..."

Sanae blinked.  "What?"

"You are a failure, Sanae Kochiya.  Your grandstanding and playing about has led the youkai to give you faith instead of giving it to your gods.  Now we are free, and we shall end all of you."

The shadows began moving, slowly creeping towards her.  Sanae stumbled back, her mind whirling over the words.  It sounded possible, even likely.  She had been playing at being a magical girl instead of serving as a real shrine maiden.  Had they really lost that much faith?

Then a familiar voice whispered in her heart, "Think kid!  Even if it were true, what would it mean?"

Sanae planted her feet.  "That's right.  It doesn't matter which of the three gods they believe in."

She looked up, with fire blazing in her eyes.  This time it was the shadow's turn to hesitate.  Sanae shouted out, "I love Yasaka-sama and Moriya-sama.  Even if the people foolishly place their belief in me I will give it all back to them!  So long as I am their miko they will never fade away!  Now you fakes, prepare to be punished in the name of the Moriya!"

The shadows tried to flee as the wind priestess raised her gohei.

"Miracle Goddess Strike!"

There was a wash of white light and the shadows were gone.

Sanae smiled.  "I should have remembered the 'questioning your heart' test.  Oh well, I don't think Meiling and Reimu will have any problems.  And it's not like there's anything that can stop us, unless it's immune to holy powers or something stupid."


Meiling stepped quietly, allowing her senses to spread through the room.  She knew this was some sort of trap, but that just meant it would be harder to find the target.

"Oh.  Don't worry about finding me.  This isn't a trap for you, I'm just here to make you an offer."

Meiling's eyes narrowed as a patchy of darkness solidified.  This one had a fully humanoid appearence, even acquiring coloration as it moved into the dim light.  "What do you have that I'd possibly be interested in?" Meiling asked.

"A better job," the shadow man replied.


The man smiled.  "I meant exactly what I said.  We can give you a better job.  A position of worth.  Leader of an army, not a glorified watchdog.  And with servants who actually respect you.  Instead of a snippy maid, an unreasonable mistress, a librarian who thinks you make a good joke, and a mad child who thinks you're a puppy."

Meiling closed her eyes, and the man chuckled.  "Ah yes.  Think about those you proclaim to love.  Do they really love you in return?  You're seen as the joke character.  The afterthought.  Join us, and you'll not only show them, you'll become a mighty leader of armies.  What do you say?"

Meiling's punch sent the man flaying across the room.

"How dare you."  The gate guard said, opening her eyes.  "How dare you insult my family.  How dare you insult Sakuya, who literally works 40 hours days for all our needs.  How dare you insult the young mistress, who always tries so hard not to burden us with her illness.  How dare you insult Patchouli, who always tries to keep us together, even if her sense of humor is terrible.  How DARE you insult Lady Remilia, who always worries about us, who sacrificed her power in the outside world for our sake, who trusts me so much that she places her life in my hands every dawn when she sleeps!"

"Let me show you the bonds that tie our house together!  With my fists!"  Meiling held her hand in front of her.  "This hand of mine is burning scarlet!  It's loud roar commands me to punish evil!  TAKE THIS!  Burning Disruption Finger!"  The martial artist kicked off the ground leaving a stream of fire behind her hand.  She slammed the claw into the mans face sending a rainbow shockwave throughout the room.

The man looked down at the fist implanted in his chest. "But... that's... the wrong... genre...."

Meiling gave a great shout and lifted the man above her, where he exploded in Rainbow sparkles.

She closed her eyes again.  "Communicating with your fists is always genre acceptable."


Flandre groaned as she opened her eyes.  She felt bruised all over.

Marisa was sitting next to her, "Awake now Flan?"

"Yeah."  The vampire smiled weakly.  "I lost again."

"Yep.  I'm good at dodging."  Marisa patted Flan's head.  "Though to be fair that was you under mind control."

Flandre sat up and sighed.  "I guess I'm just another boss to be beaten and set aside then."

"What are you talking about.  You get to be a knight!" Marisa tossed Flandre the pendent.

Flandre looked down at the little necklace with the Laevatein charm.  "A knight?  But I was the villain."

"Yep, and you've realized that was bad.  So now you're going to fight for justice," Marisa said.  Seeing Flandre's expression she added.  "Come on Flan.  Patchy and Remi spent a month tweaking that thing so it would work with your power.  Give it a try for our sakes at least."

Falndre looked at the pendant.  "Okay.  I'll try.  Let's go Laevatein."


A blood red light surrounded the girl as the wand grew to full size.  However this Laevatein had a revolver loader in it along with several glittering cartridges.  As the light cleared Flandre found herself in a long red dress, with a hat that seemed to have two stuffed bats glued to it for no reason.  Flandre loved it.

Marisa clapped.  "Congrats Flandre!  You're a magical girl of justice now!"

Flandre looked at the mage.  "But aren't you a thief?"

Marisa shrugged.  "Yeah, but we're working for the Yama now so we're fighting for justice automatically."

A magic screen opened up behind Marisa.  "I hate to interrupt, but there's a strong barrier around the tower.  Neither of us can break through it solo, you think you can lend us a hand."

Flandre tested her weapons weight then looked up.  "I can handle it."  She nodded both to Marisa and to the screen, her confidence slowly returning.  "I'm the Scarlet Knight!  And this is the Steel Baron Laevatein!  Together there's nothing we can't destroy!"

"Glad to have you aboard then.  We'll continue the three pronged advance when you take down the barrier.  Meet you at the target."


Sanae ducked behind a pillar as another blast of white energy flew across the room.  "Why did I have to say something so stupid?" she asked the world in general.  "I knew I played too many video games.  Now they actually do have something holy resistant.  How am I supposed to get past that as a miko?  I don't have physical attacks!"

"Hm... That is a problem.  Sounds like you need a witch."

Sanae looked back down the hallway in surprise.  "Alice?"  Sure enough the puppeteer was standing behind her, carefully concealing herself in the shadows However instead of her normal dress she was wearing a vest, short skirt and sailor hat with leg wrappings around one leg.  Her doll was similarly attired.  "What are you doing here?  And what's with that getup?"

Alice smiled in reply.  "We thought you needed some help.  Sorry it took so long.  She peered out at the strange Behemoth guarding what looked to be a very important door.  "So, immune to holy magic, eh?"

Sanae nodded.  "Yes, but it's very strong just in general.  I'm not sure your dolls would be able to scratch it."

Alice sighed.  "True.  Especially with the Goliath doll still in repairs.  I guess we'll have to do this Marisa's way."  She opened her book.  "Hourai, unison in!"

"Roger," the doll replied, before flying straight into Alice's chest.

Sanae gaped as Alices skin and hair tone seemed to slightly shift, becoming brighter.  In addition wings sprung from her back.

As the transfomation completed Alice began flipping through her book.  "Now lets see...  Ah here's a good one."  The magician wandering into the middle of the hallway and raised the book up high.  The Behemoth at the door immediately noticed the new intruder and roared a challenge.  Alice just kept casting.  "Spirits of chaos, heed my demand.  Form fire and darkness, to reveal true power'.  Vampiric Fireball."

Two dark energy spheres with viens of magma appeared behind the mage then zoomed forward, gaining speed as they went.  The behemoth answered with a light canon of it's own, but the holy laser seemed to pass through the fireballs and Alice as if she wasn't there.

The fireballs however did react to the monster.  There was a massive explosion that shook the ground.  The doors were shattered and ripped of their hinges and every window in the place shattered.

Alice closed her book.  "Well that's done.  Shall we move on?"

Sanae could only nod and follow along behind.


Meiling sighed as she struck down another opponent.  There seemed to be no end to the stream of imbeciles that were attacking her after she destroyed that scumball.  "At this rate, it'll be days before I get out."

She looked again at the solid black wall surrounding her.  It seemed that someone had put up a special barrier to lock her personally inside.  Unfortunately without someone to clear the way, she found she couldn't get close enough to the barrier walls to break them.  Every time she tried, a dozen archers would spawn on the other side, and she'd have to run over and kill them before they hurt her.  Even with her Magical Girl powers, she was still a pretty short range fighter.

Suddenly there was a massive crash.  The barrier shattered like a greenhouse ceiling, and a plume of dust erupted from the floor as something landed there.

As the dust cleared, Youmu opened her eyes.  She was dressed in a strange pink bodysuit with something that looked like a two piece white jacket instead of her normal attire, but her steely gaze remained the same.  In fact, it may have become even more refined.  "So long as the Mistress of the Underworld commands it, I shall stand before her.  I am the Sword Knight Youmu.  This is my blade Roukanken."  She stood and shifted her blade.  "By Mistress Yuyuko's command I am to stop this darkness."

The fragments of the barrier solidified into more monsters.  Some turned towards Meiling, but more moved towards the other intruder.

Youmu regarded them with a stern glare.  "Load Cartridge."

"JAHWOL!," the long blade replied, firing off a magical charge.

The ghost assumed a stance.  "Hiryu Issen!"  There was a flash of light, and several dozen of the figures disintegrated.

Meiling nodded her thanks to the half ghost.  Youmu bowed in reply.  There were no need for words between such fighters.

For the next five minutes their battle cries resounded in the sealed area.  When silence fell the two warriors hurried along the path, seeking their final foe.


Reimu walked confidently through the darkness.  She knew this was a trap, but she trusted her intuition to allow her to see through it.  She was far more worried about Meiling and Sanae.

Still all this walking had been getting a little boring.  She decided to try the direct approach.  "So, are you going to spring your trap?"

There was a pause.  Reimu was about to start walking again, when a woman's voice replied.  "Why would we need to?"

Reimu pondered the words.  "Well I assume you want to stop me."

"Why?  You are no threat to us," replied the voice.

"Aren't I the pretty soldier of love and justice that's going to eradicate you?  The one that beats you every time?"

The voice laughed.  "Love?  What do you know of love?  You who's duty it is to stay in a dilapidated old shrine.  Going out every year to play with a bunch of bored monsters, the few humans you see on a regular basis as warped and twisted as you are."

Reimu's eyes narrowed.  "Yeah and?"

"And you know that it can't last.  Soon you'll be too old, and they'll abandon you.  You'll go hunt down some random man at the village who you can stand, have a daughter, and then pass away to be replaced by a new toy."

"What!  It's not like that at all!"

"Isn't it?  In order to play their games you've never really gotten to know your fellow humans.  Can you say you're something more then a tool even now?  Something more then just another Hakurei?"

"I... I..."  Reimu paused.  The word were wrong, but the scenario was true.  She was a tool, designed to keep Gensoukyo functioning.

The voice giggled once again.  "Love?  What do you love?  Yourself?  Money?  It doesn't matter.  You are no threat to us."

Reimu collapsed in the darkness.  What did she have?  Just a string of memories of incidents, parties and other youkai gatherings.  She thought over them one by one, searching for her place in them.

Perhaps she would have been happier in the village, or the outside world.  She tried to think of what that life would be like....

It seemed boring as all hell in her mind.

"I see.  I understand.  'What is it that I love?'"  Reimu stood up tall.  "I love Gensoukyo!  I love the stupid tea parties!  I love every single stupid fairy, drunk oni and insane magician!"

Wiith tears in her eyes she proclaimed  "I love being the Hakurei Maiden, and I won't let you take this land away from us!  Paradise Fantasy Heaven!  BREAK!"

A white light surrounded Reimu then exploded out.  The darkness vanished before it.  As Reimu's vision cleared she saw Marisa and Flandre standing before her.

"Aww... It looks like we don't get to save her after all," the vampire pouted.

Reimu smiled.  "Nope sorry.  I'm the main character after all."

Marisa laughed.  "Oh yeah?  We'll see about that.  Let's race to kill the boss!"

Flandre jumped into the air.  "Right!  Laevatein, let's make a hallway!  Rocket form!"


The two heroines dashed through the tunnel of destruction the spinning vampire left behind.


Reimu, Marisa and Flandre flew through the wall into the central chamber just as Sanae and Alice kicked in the door on the left.  Soon after the door on the right opened quietly, revealing Youmu and Meiling.

The Magical Girls looked at the far end of the room, where a debonair lady relaxed in a throne.  Or perhaps the throne was part of her, it was hard to tell.  The very walls dripped with evil.

"It's over!" Reimu called out.  "Your Evil plans end here!"

"Oh really?" the woman replied.  "Perhaps you could kill me little girls.  Perhaps.  But you forget holy energy is deadly to most youkai as well.  To get enough power to kill me you'd have to wipe out your precious Gensoukyo."

The girls stopped at those words.  Meiling looked over at Reimu.  "Er, is she telling the truth?"

Reimu gritted her teeth.  "I think she might be.  It would take a lot of power to destroy this tower."

Sanae looked at Alice.  "I don't suppose you can solo this?"  Alice shook her head.

Youmu sheathed her blade and took an attack stance.  "Then we'll have to do this piecemeal."

Marisa smiled.  "Hey, not a bad idea Youmu.  But the boss had a better one.  Eiki-sama got a giant nuclear cannon set up.  We're just going to chuck her into space and blow her up."

"Does nuclear power count as love?" Reimu asked.

"It does if Utsuho is the one powering it.  She loves blowing things up," Marisa replied.

Reimu smiled in return.  "Okay!  Let's do it!"

The lady roared.  "I will not allow this!"  The walls pulsed with dark power, and a thousand monsters tore free and headed to strike the heroines down...


...and were met by a rain of magical projectiles.  The nearly invisible gap in the sky widened allowing Shikieki and Yukari to drop down.  Yukari was in her normal attire, but Shikieki seemed to have picked up a black reinforced trench-coat.

Yukari blew a kiss to the debonair woman.  "Hi!  Did you miss me?  Well I've come back to help kill you so don't be lonely anymore, okay?"

Shikieiki frowned at the youkai's flippant attitude before giving her own words.  "You have been slain by those that gave you form, and have betrayed the ideals you were meant to follow by taking human form and thought.  Thus, as Yamaxandu, I have been given the right to sentence you.  If you lay down your weapons you will be given the right to speak in your defense."

The woman screamed in reply and began to merge with the walls, the tendrils and monsters reforming to attack again.

Shikieiki shook her head.  "Very well.  You who have been chosen by love and justice, do your duty."

Flandre raised her hand.  "Oh!  Oh!  We'll go first.  Laevatein!"

"GIGANT FORM" the fire wand replied.  Flandre brought the now massive blade down on the woman, splitting her and the throne in half.

Youmu fished out her smaller sword.  "A knight knows all weapons.  Come to me, my bow."  As the half ghost touched the two blades together they reformed into a daikyu.  The device pumped out two cartridges.  "Dragon Slaying Arrow."

A flash of light sped down the corridor from the bow, vaporizing all near it.  On impact with the wall it exploded shattering all that remained of the woman's form.

Meiling slid into the opening created.  "My turn! "Burning Rainbow Hurricane!"  A wave of shining energy spun all around her stopping the dark being's counter attack.

Sanae pumped her fist.  "That's it!  That's the right genre!"

"It's your turn," Alice coolly stated, watching the monster draw in it's mass.

"Ah sorry!"  Sanae held her Gohei up high.  "Miracle Frog Rain!"

Sure enough thousands of magical frogs rained from the sky, disintegrating the pieces of the distant attackers before they could reform with the whole.  The main body began to draw itself into a ball.

"Right!  Now all we need is some direct damage!"  Marisa spun her staff then fired off four cartridges.  "You go first, Reimu."

"Trying to get the kill shot eh?  Well I better beat you to it.  Paradise Yin-Yang Smasher!"  Several blue while orbs flew out from Reimu's hand.  However before they could reach the creature they impacted a barrier.  Reimu grimaced, then concentrated again.  "Burst!"

The orbs exploded violently bringing the shield down.  Reimu turned towards Marisa.  "Quick!  Attack before the shield returns!

Marisa just kept focusing.  She'd wanted to do this move ever since she'd stolen the magical girl idea, and with the amount of magic in the air she finally had the chance.  A pink glow appeared around her staff, intensifying every second.  Marisa laughed as the power reached critical mass.  "Alright!  Full power, Starlight Breaker!"

The massive burst flew across the room and impacted with another massive explosion.  "Did I get it?" Marisa wondered aloud.

"No chance.  It's presence has increased.  You broke the armor though."  Alice raised her book.  "Now, spirit of war, arise from your sleep and bring fire and death across the land.  Hrimfraxi."

A massive magical circle appeared above the book.  From it ten magical shots flew into the sky, streaking above the monsters new compact form.  They then each shattered, sending liquid fire raining down upon the target.  The beast sent out a howl that made the entire structure shake.

Shikieiki nodded.  "I sense the core.  Now to keep it in place."  She raised her rod of judgement.  "I sentence you to the frozen hell.  Reflect upon your sins."

The rod glowed.  "STYGIAN ICE."

Alice's fire was snuffed out almost immediately.  There was a cracking, then sudden stillness as the evil was frozen solid.

Yukari waved her hands.  "Well that's that.  Bye now!"  A gap opened up below the orb of frozen evil, the vacuum of space slowly drawing the mass in.

Marisa swapped her staff back to amulet form.  "And with that..."

The magicians words wer cut off by a crack, as two tentacles shattered free of the ice and grabbed hold of her and Reimu, dragging them into the void.


Reimu struggled futilely to break free, as her magical defenses shattered one by one.  It didn't really matter.  Even if she escaped the tendrils, the cold of space would kill her just as fast, and Marisa seemed to be just as helpless.  Reimu couldn't count on her friend for a rescue this time.

Still Reimu didn't believe in giving up.  She managed to break free from the mass and float away.  She might be doomed, but she'd die on her own terms.

She saw Marisa had managed to free herself as well.  Idly Reimu wished space could carry sound, so the two could at least exchange a few more one liners before the end.

"Fluffy Moe Bomber!"

A giant pink laser flew through space to strike the tentacles trying to recapture the two girls.  Reimu also found she could breathe.  "What?  Who?"

"Well!  It's a good thing I rushed out.  Don't worry you two, my M field should give you some breathing room!"  A old familiar face greeted the two heroines.  Carrying a very tacky wand with a heart on the top and wearing a jetpack Ellen did her own pose.  "Techno Shoujo Fluffy Ellen is here!  Wielding the Science of Love, I've come to make the world a better place!"

Marisa was the first to recover.  "Ellen?  But how?"

"Behold!"  The technological girl pressed a button on her wand, causing a holo screen to open up.  Standing there were two more familiar faces.

"It's been a while you two," said Yumemi.

"You didn't think we'd leave cleaning up the outside worlds messes entirely up to you, did ya?" added Chiyuri.

Reimu laughed.  "So those two set you up with this Ellen?  Great!  Let's show this second rate youkai who's boss!"

Marisa frowned.  "I hate to say this Reimu, but I'm a little short on firepower.  And this M field has to be eating a lot of Ellen's power too"

The holo pulled back to reveal Shikieki.  "I'm disappointed in you Marisa Kirisame.  Did you think I would abandon someone working on my behalf?  We have the fusion canon standing by, just show Kaenbyo and Onozuka where to fire."

Sanae popped onto the screen.  "Reimu!  Nazarin went to tell Byakuren and Keine to get all the humans and youaki to pray for your success!  Everyone wants you to win!

Yumemi smiled, "Well that's that.  Ellen, you remember how to activate the NT device right?"

Ellen smiled.  "Yep!  Hit the button that looks like a white ribbon and the subspace communication beam will change to an energy transfer system!"

Chiyuri gave a thumbs up.  "Go ahead and drain the generators dry.  You only have one shot at this!"

"Right!" the three girls said in unison.  They turned to face the monster.

"Should we all aim for the face things?" Ellen asked.

Marisa shook her head.  "Nah.  With three beams unfocused is best."

Reimu pointed her Gohei at the foe.  "Alright girls.  On three."




"Blazing" "Fluffy!" "Paradise!"  "MOE HEAVEN SPARK!"

Three massive beams of energy streaked towards the creature then blasted straight through it.  They met in the center of the beast, and turned into a massive Rainbow Explosion.  The beasts final howl was consumed by the airless void of space, as it exploded into a fine dust that faded away.

There was a long moment of silence, then the crowd on the ground burst into cheering.

Reimu sighed.  "Finally.  Lets go home."


The celebration was in full swing when the three girls landed.  Ellen, Yumemi and Chiyuri were introduced to wild applause, and Reimu and Marisa were tackle hugged by their respective groups.  Shikieki gave a speech telling them all the good deed they'd performed, and then everyone proceeded on to the drinking.

Reimu was halfway through a bottle when Yukari approached her.  "It's good to see I can count on you if my powers ever aren't up for a job."

"Don't count on it too often," Reimu grumbled.  "I don't like being your dress up toy."  The shrine maiden took a long drink before giving the gap youkai a suspicious look.  "You don't think any other problems that have to be solved the stupid way are going to show up soon, do you?"

Yukari laughed.  "Of course not.  I'd tell you if something worrisome like that was around the corner."

"By the way Reimu, as a completely unrelated question, do you prefer lions, or dinosaurs?"


[Stupid DMV.  Wasting two days....  Oh well, I beat the deadline.  Sorta.  Barely....]
« Last Edit: March 11, 2010, 05:58:30 PM by HA☆NA☆SE »


Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #37 on: March 08, 2010, 03:21:09 AM »
This thread is wonderful for all my needs <3


  • Hello I'm Kaguya
  • and I'm a LOOONEY
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #38 on: March 08, 2010, 04:56:32 AM »
I came up with this in the shower except it was about Reimu when I thought about it.

 Hello! I'm Sanae Kotiya! I am 16 years old and this is the Moriya Shrine! Over there with the red dress and the purple wig is the goddess of the shrine and my mother figure, Kanako Yasaka. I love her very much. And over there in the purple dress and the hat with eyes is my great great great great great great grandmother Suwako Moriya. I treat her like my little sister though. We left the Outside World to come to Gensokyo to gather faith. And since then, I learned many things like sealing Youkai, exterminating Youkai, killing Youkai, and the spell card system which is used to fight Youkai.

 Today, I'm going to down to the village to buy groceries. I bought rice to make rice porridge for Kanako but Suwako doesn't like as much. She asked me if I come across an ice fairy to catch it for her. I don't get why though. As I walked out of the village a bandit came to attack me!

"I'm a pervert and only magic can stop me! Muahahahaha!"

I was in my clothing from the outside world so he probably doesn't know I'm the shrine maiden of the Moriya Shrine. I giggle softly. I take my cleaver out of my purse and point it up into the sky. It's not really a cleaver though. The pervert looked at me strangely. He must think I watch to much Higurashi.

"By the power of Green Hair! I have the power!"

And then hundreds among hundreds patterned into stars enveloped around the bandit.

"Oh no!" The bandit said, "Magic is my only weakness!"

Now I can hit him with my paper on a stick repeatedly. So, I beat him with my cleaver stick. But then, a light began to glow.

"Hahaha, you have passed my test young one."

The bandit transformed into a beautiful young girl. She had long black hair, a pink shirt and a long red dress.

"Wh-who are you?" I asked the girl.

"I am a Moon Princess. I have come to select 5 young girls to become a team of super heroes by the names of Victoria, Blue, Sarah, Dana, Carey. For making sure not just anybody can gain this wtfhax powers. The only downside is that you get your assed kicked before you OHKO anything.?

?Uh huh?? This girl is crazy but HAX POWERS!

?So are any of these your name?? The Princess asked me.


? Very well then. I shall bestow the Super Sexy Fanservice Transformation.?

?Oh co-WAIT WHAT!??

And within a flash I felt a part of my innocence being taken away from me. I sure hope Aya isn?t around. She would love this.

 The seizure lights have ceased and I was in a?mini skirt. The author must be a pervert and wanted to see me in a uniform. But whatever.

? I shall now transport you to your first mission, where you?ll join the others.?

 And with that I was transported into the Netherworld. There were four other people next to me. One I didn?t recognize. At all. She had blue hair and some shades. That matched her hair. She was to my right. Also to my right was a girl who looked vaguely like Suwako. She had her frog hat, and her hair, eyes and face, but the uniform threw me off. To my left was a purple haired girl. Her hair was short and she had what looked like arteries that connected to an eye on her chest. It?s creepy. Not because of the arteries outside of her body but the eye staring at me. Again threw me off. Next to her was a girl with long silver hair. She had some sort of charm as a ribbon and had nicer legs than mine. I became jealous of her. More Jealous than Parsee and my eyes became green like they did in UFO. She looked a lot like Mokou. But she wasn?t wearing pants so I can?t say for sure.

We hear a booming voice and look up to the sky.


My jaw dropped in disbelief.

? Just kidding lol.? She did say ?lol? not ?El oh El? or ?ahaha? just??lol?.
?Enter the mansion before you. There you  shall face three ghosts and then you?re done. No more hax but you get the sexy uniforms.?

Now that the voice wasn?t so loud, I could tell it was the moon princess?s.

We didn?t bother introducing ourselves and entered the mansion.
There we saw three girls in Sentai suits: Red, Black, and White. They were looking away from us.
Suddenly, they turn towards.
?We?ve been waiting for you cretins!? The Red one enthusiastically said.
 When the light of good draws near we appear out of nowhere!? The black one excitibly said.
?The-3-talents-of-music-devastate-the-world-with-.wav-and-exspensive cds!!? the white one robotically said.
??we are??
?? the Prism Rivers!? (lol disgaea)
Then they take suddenly take silly poses. They must have no friends. Being a hero is no excuse for having no friends.

?Oh hey Sanae.? The Suwako look alike said.
?Lady Suwako??
?So you lied to the lady too??
Then the purple haired girl piped up ?Oh hey so did I. So did Mokou here. Not Blue over there though?I?m Satori. I?m here just like Mokou and Suwako because of the author?s sick fantasies.?
?Hey.? Mokou responded.
?STOP IGNORING US!? The three Prismrivers yelled in unison.
?Shut up.? Mokou responded. And then she just shot giant phoenixes at them. They weren?t hard to taken down easily by the looks of it, since they laid there in a pile. They were still ali- no they were always dead. I?m not worried.

?Don?t worry, they?re poltergeists.? I told her. ?They were dead to begin with.?
?I DIDN?T!? Satori responded.
?I think these suits are pretty cute?? Mokou said, ?But I didn?t do it.?
?I didn?t do it either then that leaves?? I pondered
 8) I hope I win

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #39 on: March 08, 2010, 06:42:03 AM »
Deadline hit, a nice number of new submissions, Ruro still not sighted.
Plan B activated.
Jugdes Chaore and Tengukami, get reading and send me your results as soon as you can please.

Writers, please wait warmly for the results~

Edit: Or not. I see Ruro online right now. Since I already told Tengukami to help out, I'd volunteer to transfer my vote to him and not vote myself this time, if she wishes it.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2010, 06:46:39 AM by Moe Moe Buri(゜∀゜)Sakachi »

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #40 on: March 08, 2010, 06:53:00 AM »
Ah, sorry for being late. :x I wanted to at least come back for judging and stuff and setting out the latest challenge oh hey did you hear Touhou 12.5 is Shoot the Bullet Two oh my god oh my god oh my god

Anyways, PM your votes (Sakana, Chao) to me and we can get this ball rolling. In the meantime:

UFO Lunacy of the Starlights

The sky was clear, but clouds threatened to impede on the endless blue from the eastern edge of the horizon. Stars shone out, bright against a canvas of azure, and the breeze was cool and refreshing.

?A perfect night to be out youkai hunting!?

?Sanae, you?ve been playing too much SplatterFaith, haven?t you??

?No, really. I mean, just listen to the sound effects! Doesn?t it sound like space blasters going off? Just like A New Hope!?

?Hmm. Somehow, I never thought of the fairies as Stormtroopers, but their aim certainly qualifies for it.? Marisa grinned and gunned her broomstick forward. ?Aww yeah, that?ll make this even more fun!?

?Doubt it?ll work for you.? Sanae grinned. ?For someone who thinks danmaku is all about power, your shot types are awful weak this time around.?

?It?s in the contract,? Marisa laughed back. ?In exchange for my lasers back in Mountain of Faith. Remember those, Sanae-chan??

Sanae flushed. ?I guess it?s just karma, then.?

Reimu groaned as she flew alongside Sanae. ?I need a f[BLEEP]king drink,? she muttered. ?You two are being too happy and cheery. Go away.?

?Aww, is Reimun in need of a huuuuuuug?? Sanae laughed.

?I?ll kill you for this someday,? the Hakurei miko moaned as she rubbed her head, hoping the headache would go away. ?F[BLEEP]k. I can?t take much more of this. Where the hell is the boss??

?Well,? Marisa said, looking back on her broom. A rope was tied to the end of the broom, and the rope was tied around Kogasa Tatara, who was being pulled along with duct tape over her mouth. ?We beat the midboss and we got past that MS-style bulletspam. And Sanae frognuked the last few UFOs, so??

?Right then.? Reimu cracked her knuckles and stretched her arms. ?Bring on whatever.?

?Huh, when did it get cloudy?? Sanae asked. ?The sky was clear just a moment ago.?

?Wow, there's lots of clouds out now,? Marisa agreed. ?Pity we lost that that little snake, though. It?d be a pretty good guide to follow right about now.?

?It looks like there's lots of UFOs around here, though. I'm sure there's someone suspicious around here.?

Sanae was filling in for Reimu?s lines now; Reimu was too headachey to say much of anything.

But she wasn?t deaf.

?Hm?? Reimu raised her head.

?What is it?? Sanae asked.

?I thought I heard something,? the Hakurei miko replied. ?A bird? No...?

?You?re right... I can hear something,? the green-haired girl said, concentrating.

?It?s a really weird sound,? Marisa continued as she closed her eyes. ?? is it some kind of monster? What is it??

?I can hear something... A voice, but I can't understand it...? Sanae trailed off. ?Maybe it's an alien's voice??

Just then, a blazing, bright ball of energy shot up from the ground many meters below. The three girls all stopped, recognizing it as that annoying-ass boss from stage 4.

?Hey, you?re that jerkass ball lightning from stage 4!? Marisa accused.

?You?re the one who managed to take one of my frognukes at the very end of stage 6!? Sanae yelled.

?I remember you from LLS Extra!? Reimu screamed, remembering horrible, horrible memories. She leapt at the energy ball, completely throwing convention to the winds. ?KILL HEEEEER!?

?Aaaaaaah!? The ball lightning attempted to flee, but the furious Reimu was too fast. She had a spellcard out before the ball could move very far, and within a few moments, she had the ball at her mercy.

Sanae and Marisa were only too happy to have Reimu?s more murderous impulses directed away from them, so they also joined in the bullying. Reimu stood in the air over the ball, which was already beginning to lose its bright form.

?Uwah! Don?t seal me away in the underground!? the ball objected. The light was dimming and the creature?s true shape was coming out.

?Eh, maybe,? the miko shrugged, sticking her pinky into her ear and digging out some wax. ?Maybe Koishi might like ya more, though. She needs a more permanent midboss.?

Sanae nodded. ?Koishi?s a cutie, but Suwako-sama and Kanako-sama need me as well. Hm, shall we really seal her up??

Reimu shook her head. ?Depends... on what this girl is.? She grinned maniacally at the dimming light around the vaguely human-shaped creature she held bound. ?Let?s release that sphere, shall we??

?NO!? the creature wailed. ?They-- youkai-- they?ll lose their fear of me if they see my true form!?

?Pfft. Are people still afraid of me when they see my true form??

Sanae and Marisa nodded.

Reimu turned back to the bound creature. ?See? And just wait ?till you hear about my ancestors,? she laughed. ?Either way, I?ve got some alcohol in my trailer that needs drinkin?, so let?s get this over with--?

?u?... looks like I have no choice,? the sphere replied in a strangely musical tone. ?Behold, the true form of--?

The sphere of light shattered, and the true form of the creature within was revealed.

Sanae was the first to recognize it for what it was. Short black leather shorts, bondage-esque sailor fuku--

?Heralded by the Night Sky, Soldier of Mystery--? The sailor-suited girl turned around and struck her best tsukini_kawatte_oshiyoki_yo pose. ?Sailor Nue, stage-- ON!?

?Oh my god, she?s one of the Starlights!? Sanae cried.

?Starlights?? Marisa asked.

?Yeah! You know, those leather-fetishist transgender alien people from the last season of Sailor Moon!? Sanae waved her gohei and miracled up a guidebook to Sailor Moon, and showed Marisa the picture. ?See? I wonder if she?s female all the time...? she muttered, looking over at Nue.

?Hey! That?s a low blow!? Nue objected. The use of that metaphor only cemented Sanae?s doubts.

Marisa shook her head. ?Ugh. Nue, that entire outfit screams ?trying too hard?,? she criticized. ?The short dress, the thighhighs, the UFOwen theme music--?

?Oh, and that doesn?t?? Nue demanded, pointing at Marisa?s M apron.

?Look at you. You look like a tomboy dominatrix.? Marisa sighed. ?And you can?t even do the tsukini_kawatte_oshiyoki_yo very well. If you?re going to go for a black-white color scheme with that pose, do it properly.?

?I see,? Nue said, fingering her black leather shorts as she looked at the link.

?Oh, f[BLEEP]k this!? Reimu snapped. She had finally had enough. ?WHAT THE f[BLEEP]k IS THIS s[BLEEP]t. I'm not f[BLEEP]king paid enough for this f[BLEEP]king bulls[BLEEP]t! F[BLEEP]k!?

?Profanity censor?? Sanae asked. Marisa nodded.

?I want more money and a bigger trailer now or I walk!? Reimu snarled, throwing her script to the ground.

?... you get paid?? Sanae asked again, looking more desperate than before. ?YOU get PAID??

But Reimu didn?t notice. ?F[BLEEP]king ratass bulls[BLEEP]t crap,? she swore again, lighting up a cigarette and smoking. ?I mean f[BLEEP]k.?

?All right, cut.?

Akyu sighed and walked out onto the stage. ?We?re never going to get to the scenes with Magical★Catgirl☆Nue★Nue vs Hisou Tensoku at this rate, Reimu! Don?t turn your back on me! Get back here!? she demanded as the Hakurei miko dashed into her trailer. Akyu gave chase.

Marisa and Sanae looked at each other while Nue untied Kogasa and they went off stage for a beer.

Subdirector Aya sighed. ?I guess that?s a cut for today.?

?Maybe when Reimu isn?t so hung over tomorrow?? Sanae offered as she and Marisa walked over to Keine.

?Sure. Get some rest, ladies, you need it.? Aya sighed and shook her head as Marisa and Sanae wandered off to get some refreshments. ?All right, Yumemi, Shikieiki, it?s time for your electric guitar smashfest.?

?Hell YES!? Yumemi cheered as she dashed onto the set with a custom-made cross-shaped Stratocaster, Shikieiki behind her with a barbed Soulsteel keytar.

Aya shook her head. ?They don?t pay me enough for this,? she muttered as she set the cameras to rolling.


I blame a mix of homework, sleep deprivation, Kriegsaffe No.9?s fiction, and this image for the ?inspiration? for this particular abomination.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #41 on: March 08, 2010, 10:35:00 AM »
Due to schedule constraints, this week's challenge is being posted without any actual judging having happened, thanks to me being a terrible judge and stuff. Sakana just sent me his judgment! And thanks to the miracle of majority vote, I can now laugh at Chaore's lateness and proceed without him! Yaaaaaaaaaay! 8)

The winner of this week's contest is--











>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

Oh, fine, have your judgment.

Erebus, congratulations! Me and Sakana were both very impressed by your short work. He put it better than I: "I would never have imagined that combining his trademark nightmare fuel and magical girls could work, but he really pulled it off." Well done!

Honorable mention goes to Iced Fairy. If we go by parody value alone, yours received top marks. Your Sanae is the best Sanae, and the Nanoha references made the Nanotard in me squeal. (Somehow, Hayate as Alice never occurred to me. Weird.)

Again, thanks to all our participants! You all do excellent work! But now, we have a brand new challenge for you for this week, in a very different tone from the previous ones! Whereas comedy was the main staple of our entries so far, now we're going to be experimenting with various genres. And so, your challenge for this week is:

March 8, 2010: "Hohoho, that pathetic place will be reborn as a new Blazing Hell!"
There are lots of people in Gensokyo who want things, who have goals and motivations. Some good, some bad, some nuclear. In this week's challenge, you will write about someone getting what they wished for-- and boy, did they get it. Wishes that go too far, basically.
Comedy is not outright discouraged, but an overall serious tone is encouraged-- and mind that this contest does not immediately mean grimdark, but you are free to go in that direction if you so wish.

Have fun writing, folks!


  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #42 on: March 08, 2010, 11:02:12 AM »
Oh, I see how it is. Tease the tengu with a guest judge spot, then yank the rug out from under him. Make you feel good to dangle that cherry in front of my face and then be all 'SIKE!' does it? That's cool. I'll remember this when Tengu Kwanza rolls around.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #43 on: March 08, 2010, 03:28:10 PM »

Whoa, I managed to win? I don't think I've ever won anything before...well save for a Country Ham but that was gone and digested in one Thanksgiving.

Even so, let's see if I can get going on this one, I have several ideas but that all depends on my motivation. I'm sure someone else will get the Spechul title this time around.
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #44 on: March 08, 2010, 06:37:52 PM »
Oh, I see how it is.

Sorry :< I was sleepy and it was past deadline and I wanted to get the judgment and next challenge out on time. Sakana talked to me about it and I've come to the conclusion that it was a miscommunication thing again. :ohdear: I am sorry orz

Actually, if you would like to judge this week's contest, it's all cool. Or you can throw me an idea for next week's, or both. I'm sorry for making you feel like you got tricked :(


  • ~La, la, la~
  • Texas Chensaw Massacre
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #45 on: March 08, 2010, 08:17:02 PM »
'Grats to Erebus.  I was thinking on doing that last prompt, but it would have spoilered some of my ongoing Nanoha/Touhou crossover, so I think I'll throw it on as a oneshot after I'm done with the main sequence.

Badass bookworms


Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #46 on: March 08, 2010, 08:29:51 PM »
Defeat.  I am sad... :(  Still, congrats Erebus.  You wisely chose the short and higher quality path.

In retrospect, I really bit off more then I could chew with the last one.  That was, in fact, the short form as well.  I had originally planned for a full five member sailor team and a complete set of Wolkenritter too.  I was obviously crazy.  Though maybe without a deadline....

And yeah, Alice was originally going to be Fate, but I didn't have a Hayate, and it was so much easier to justify her pulling out a unison and overpowered book hax then lightning fast sword techs.

Hm...  New topic...  Not really my style.  Well, maybe I'll think of something.


  • ~La, la, la~
  • Texas Chensaw Massacre
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #47 on: March 08, 2010, 09:08:20 PM »
As a consolation, I was cheering for you, Iced.  As soon as I saw that topic title, I knew someone had to do a Nanoha thing with it, and you did it well.

Badass bookworms


  • Breaking news. Any season.
  • *
  • I said, with a posed look.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #48 on: March 08, 2010, 09:15:17 PM »
I'm sorry for making you feel like you got tricked :(

No no no! That was a joke, Ruro! I thought the "Tengu Kwanza" remark would give that away. I figured it was a miscommunication thing. Seriously, it's no skin off my nose.

By the by, I would've also gone with Erebus.

"Human history and growth are both linked closely to strife. Without conflict, humanity would have no impetus for growth. When humans are satisfied with their present condition, they may as well give up on life."

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #49 on: March 08, 2010, 10:54:19 PM »
By the by, I would've also gone with Erebus.
I somehow expected that ^^

Tengu Kwanza
I'm still trying to figure out what that is  :V


  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #50 on: March 09, 2010, 01:39:21 AM »
What is this... What's happening to her?

Youmu Konpaku - gardener, swordslady, retainer, and on a bad day, babysitter to Yuyuko Saigyouji - stood, staring at the huge tree in the middle of Hakugyokurou. The Saigyou Ayakashi was glowing radiantly, a pulsating purple-pink shine bursting from its branches.

Standing before it, between it and Youmu, was Yuyuko. She was levitated a few feet above the ground of Hakugyokurou, arms outstretched with an opened paper fan in each hand. Pink sakura blossoms swirled around her, appearing to emanate from her fans.

The light of the youkai tree being stopped by Yuyuko gave her shadow an almost halo-like effect; the streams of light flowing past her warped and twisted in the air as her kimono was disturbed by a fierce wind blowing from the direction of the tree. Somehow, the sakura petals were unaffected by the wind.

"I've done it! Oh, Youmu, I've done it!" Yuyuko turned about in midair, causing the cherry blossoms to swirl around her.

"What have you done?!" Youmu dropped the rake she'd been using before she sensed the disturbance and readied herself.

As soon as she'd prepared to kick off, using her superb, lightning-quick speed to dash up to Yuyuko and get her away from the sinister tree, the Netherworld Princess folded a fan across her chest, shielding the lower half of her face.

Youmu barely registered it before she launched forward. She did, however, come to a sterling realization that dashing into a barrier at light-speed was a terrible idea and should never be attempted.

As she rebounded off and slid away across the sakura-strewn ground, Yuyuko chuckled. "Oh, Youmu. Don't worry yourself - it'll be fine. I've gathered enough spring over the last four years - just enough to shorten spring, but not enough to worry the shrine maiden. Surely, she won't complain this time?"

Youmu rubbed her head, wincing in pain. Her ghost half bobbed lazily through the air in her wake, returning to her after they'd suddenly gone separate ways. Beyond it, Yuyuko had turned back to face the youkai tree.

The glow from the wretched tree was almost unbearable. Youmu uttered a silent curse to the damned thing; it had consumed Yuyuko's attention for far too long, and meddling with it could only end badly.

As the sakura petals fluttered around Yuyuko, Youmu noticed that they would occasionally pass through the soul-fires that danced around the ghost princess. When they did, the soul-fires would just start to gain a corporeal form before they were launched away from Yuyuko and the Saigyou Ayakashi by their collective barrier.

The souls aren't affected until they start to corporealize - maybe I get get Myon in close enough and swap places with it, and get Yuyu on my way out...

Being half-dead had its advantages - for instance, your own ghost followed you around. Since it was a part of her, and apart from her, she could theoretically be in two places at once. She'd never actually tried what she was about to do, but figured it wouldn't be that hard to pull off. She just had to... somehow shift her life from one form to the other.

Myon flitted away, dodging between the wind-strewn spring-essence sakura blossoms.  Youmu watched as the part of herself arced away, putting itself between Yuyuko and the tree.

Once Myon was in position, three things happened at once.

Youmu and Myon switched places, having successfully exchanged existences between their locations.

A brilliant flash of light erupted from the Saigyou Ayakashi and Yuyuko at the same time.

That very burst of light sent Youmu back into the tree, in much the same fashion that running into Yuyuko's barrier made her rebound.

Youmu tried to clear her head as quickly as she could; when her sight came back into focus, two things were readily apparent. The wind had stopped, letting the spring-essence and the Saigyou cherry blossoms fall normally, and Lady Yuyuko was gone.

"Yuyuko! Yuyuko-sama! Where are you?!" Youmu hollered, looking frantically about, checking behind the tree to see if Yuyuko was simply playing a prank on her.

The Netherworld Princess was nowhere to be found, however.

Youmu stopped panicking and took a deep breath. Maybe she'd been moved somewhere else in Hakugyokurou. Calling Myon back to her, she kicked off from the ground and dashed back to the estate that they shared near the entrance of the Netherworld.


Where am I? What is this? What's happening to me?


What's going on? Why am I here? ...Where is 'here'?






I really didn't mean to beat Youmu up so much. It's not that I dislike her, but... I don't really like her, either.


Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #51 on: March 14, 2010, 05:13:26 PM »
As always, when I swear I won't write something I end up writing it.

Not my finest, but the threads getting lonely, and I need this outta my head.


Tenshi sighed as she looked down from heaven.  "I'm bored."

Tenshi was often bored.

If fact the lat time she remembered having some real fun was last summer, when all the humans and youkai were running about challenging her.  She'd even gotten someone interesting in heaven when Suika moved in.  But the oni had finally gotten bored of heavens monotonous lifestyle herself and had started roaming once again.

And so Tenshi was bored.  Bored, bored, bored.

It looked like there had been another incident or two while she'd been in the clouds.  Reimu had wandered off underground, then a giant ship had been floating about before finally settling down as a temple.  All that excitement down below, and Tenshi had missed all of it.

"That stupid shrine maiden's so lucky, to have so many youkai seeking to test her.  I wish I had a real challenge..."

An idea floated into Tenshi's head and she jumped to her feet.  It was so simple, anyone who had dared challenge the shrine maiden had to be a good fight!  Thus there must be someone in that temple worth battling!

Tenshi looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching, then slipped through the cloud cover to descend to Gensoukyo.

The Celestial considered how to make her challenge as she landed.  Destroying the temple would work, but it'd be kind of lame to pull a repeat performance so soon after her first appearance.  Insulting the local god worked for shrines, but the Buddha didn't really care.  Maybe just walking in and hitting someone would work.  It did have the advantage of shock value.

Tenshi's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a funeral prayer.  Tenshi frowned.  Whoever had the audacity to die today had really put a wrench in her plans.  Still, it was far beneath her to interrupt a funeral.  Tenshi sighed again.  It seemed things just weren't going to work out today.

Still, even with the funeral she could take a look at the people here and pick out which one was the strongest.  That would save her some time later when she busted in.  The celestial summoned her power once again and silently flew to one of the trees nearby.

The event itself seemed like a poor affair.  The only mourners seemed to be a young woman and a small child.  The nun, Byakuren from what Tenshi had heard, was doing the ritual, aided by another nun, and a nyuudo of all things.  Tenshi looked around for the rumored avatar of Bishamonten, but she couldn't see anyone that fit that description. It was too bad.  A disciple of the fortune of strength would be a good opponent.

There was a rustle from a nearby branch as a white thrush landed on the tree.  Tenshi was about to ignore the bird, but her celestial senses noticed something off about it.  She reached for her sword just in case.

"Ah, sorry.  Didn't mean to disturb you," the bird said quietly.  As Tenshi watched it seemed to shift into a young woman in a short dress with strange asymmetrical wings.

Nue grinned sheepishly.  "Sorry.  I'm always drawn to funerals.  Guess that's one of the benefits of living at a temple.  Doesn't quite make up for the amount of floor there is to polish, but there's free food too."

Tenshi gave the youkai a look.  "You might find funerals enjoyable but they're dull to me."  The celestial sighed.  "I can't even find out who's the stongest fighter around here.  What a waste.  Why couldn't they have the funeral at the village temple?"

Nue frowned.  "Well for one thing they're too poor.  That's his wife and kid there.  Only surviving relatives."  She stretched then continued.  "She was an orphan, and his parents drank themselves to death leaving him with serious debts.  Their farm failed last summer, so he was hunting to try to get food when he ran into a pack of wolves."

"So no money, and a corpse that needs a proper burial.  Since Byakuren's the only priest who will do the full service for free..."  Nue shrugged.

"Sucks to be him," Tenshi remarked offhandedly.

Nue nodded.  "Yeah.  What were the chances he'd get hit with snow in July?  Much less a tornado.  I didn't think Gensoukyo had the right terrain for that kind of weather."

Tenshi's stomach seemed to drop at those words.  "When did that happen?"

"Hm... I think the people said it was last summer.  There was all kinds of strange weather."  Nue grew silent to hear the last funeral chants before continuing softly, "It's all the talk in the village.  'All those youkai about and freak weather does the most damage.  Kinda ironic.'"

Tenshi saw the woman burst into tears again, the child following his mother soon after.  The Celestial felt sick, a sensation she barely remembered from her human days long ago.

"Well I should leave," Tenshi said hastily before flitting back up towards the clouds.

"Goodbye," Nue called out after her.  She then turned back to study the funeral, knowing that her call would be altered by her powers to sound like the  chirping of birds.


Tenshi couldn't sleep.

The gnawing and churning in her belly had subsided a bit with food, but not that much.  And she didn't feel hungry at all.

Finally Tenshi slipped out into the peach orchards of heaven and picked a bag of the fruits.  They were boring as all get out, but they'd keep you alive.

She checked to make sure no one was spying on her once again before sneaking down to Gensoukyo once again.

As the Celestial began creeping towards the edge of the human village she found her steps begin to lighten.  The shroud over her mind faded away.

Soon she was even looking forward to the meeting.  She could play the role of a helpful stranger and everyone would end up happy.  It played out beautifully over in her head, each repetition adding new details.

The farmhouse itself failed to disappoint when it came into view.  Obviously built with care, but rickety due to lack of maintenance, it showed the perfect spirit for the 'deserving family aided by heaven.'  That was important, if someone like Iku yelled at her for interference.

Tenshi composed herself at the door, making sure her hat was placed properly.  The wind had picked up a little, and she didn't want to look foolish during her entrance.  After she was certain she was projecting the proper authority she knocked proudly on the door.

There was no response.  The only sound was the wind as it rustled through the leaves and set the house to creaking.

Tenshi frowned.  She had to be at the right place, and it's not like they'd be out and around at this time.

She knocked again louder.

There was no response.

Maybe the woman and her kid had gone of to Byakuren's temple, or one of the small human temples about to beg for food.  Well that pretty much shot down her grand entrance.  Still she could leave the basket, and still have it be considered a miracle.  In fact this might be better.  A bag of peaches, mysteriously appearing every night.  Maybe it'd be a kabuki play some day!

Tenshi pushed open the door and summoned a small light so she wouldn't trip over anything in the dark.

The wind picked up again, and with it the creaking noise.  Tenshi's smile died.  She dropped the bag of peaches.

The Celestial stood there for some time, her mind blank.

Finally she turned and slowly walked out the door, leaving the two hanging bodies swaying slowly as the wind blew through the cracks in the house.


"The second stone is for my mother...."

Komachi sighed as she turned away from the kid.  This one hadn't listened either.  Well she could give the speech again when she came back from this job.  "Come along.  It's one per boat anyway.  I'll promise I'll pick him up on the next trip."

Komachi began stepping towards the boat when a massive rock plummeted from the skies.  Komachi just barely kept her balance as the earth shook.

As the dust cleared Tenshi Hiwanai readied her sword.  "I'm here to take that ghost off your hands," Tenshi said.

Komachi's blinked.  She hadn't thought that the celestial could look this serious.  Still there was no way she'd just hand over a ghost she was in the middle of ferrying over.  She readied her scythe.  "Sorry, but this one has a meeting with the Yama, and those can't be put off.  Even for your games."

"This isn't a game," Tenshi snarled, "I'm..."

"Seeking to atone for your crimes with a greater crime."

Komachi instinctively flinched at Shikieiki's harsh tone, even though it wasn't directed at her.  She turned to find her boss floating above the river banks glaring down on the two.  Tenshi however was not swayed.  "What!  Should I just sit here and let you sentence them to hell?  I have power here, and I'm going to use it as I see fit!"

"Foolish child!  Listen closely.  Yes I will judge this woman.  And she will be sent to hell."  The pointed at Tenshi with her rod of judgment.  "And after she atones there she will be born again, to improve her life.  True, should you use your sword she will become enlightened.  However!"  This time the yama's powerful voice caused both Komachi and Tenshi to take a step back.  "Her mind will be unable to fully understand that enlightenment.  She will move past the self without understanding what the self was.  Enlightenment without experience is the same as nothingness!"

Tenshi stood their trembling as Shikieiki continued.  "As a celestial performing your duties, may bring suffering to others, just as my work does.  However, yout actions have not been for the sake of duty or responsibility but due to your own desires for entertainment.  Even now your act of contrition is more due to your need to feel you did something good then out of a true understanding of your sins and a desire to repent."

There was a long pause. Finally Komachi coughed.  "Well I better get started on my work.  I'll meet you on the other side boss."

Shikieiki nodded to the Shinigami.  "Of course.  I'll be waiting there."  Turning back to the celestial, Shikieiki pulled out her mirror and held it up.  "As for you, perhaps you will understand better when you view your own sin."

There was a flash of light and suddenly there was another Tenshi standing there.  The copy pointed at Tenshi.  "You better not bore me!  I've been looking forward to a fun battle."  The copy grinned darkly.  "If you don't keep me entertained you just might die."

The true Tenshi took a deep breath and stood up straighter.  "Fine.  Let's do this then."


Komachi lightly tapped the celestial with her scythe.  "You dead?"

Tenshi groaned and tried to stand.  "That's a stupid question from a Shinigami."

Komachi shrugged.  "Shikieiki said that I should bring you next if you had died.  So if you want to sail across the river just tell me.  Otherwise you'll have to stand up on your own."  The shinigami sat down on a rock to wait.  "I imagine there are some guys in collections who'd be real happy if I just dragged you along, but that's not my style.  The yama's big about personal choices too."

The celestial muttered somthing unintelligible then managed to rise to her feet.  After a couple more minutes her legs stopped shaking.  "I'm not going to die here, so you can just buzz off."

Komachi sighed.  "Darn.  I was hoping for an easy trip.  Well I guess I'll go fill my other promise then."

"What other promise?"

Komachi tossed her scythe over her shoulder.  "The usual.  A kid thinks that he needs to make a pillar of stones before he's got enough karma to cross the Sanzu.  I keep telling them it doesn't actually work like that but...."

"Which one?"  Komachi looked back at Tenshi's question.  "Which one am I responsible for?"

"You should know already.  You're a Celestial."  Komachi looked straight at Tenshi.  "You're responsible for all of them."

"Tch.  Isn't this Jizo's job?  Fine."  Tenshi gave a grim smile.  "I hope you're ready for a lot of rowing, because I'm good with rocks."

She walked through the mists until she came across one of the small ghosts.  "Hey kid, lemme give you a hand."  She summoned a keystone and slammed the massive rock into the earth.  "The first stone is for your father!..."


  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #52 on: March 15, 2010, 03:50:46 AM »
Hmm. I'm thinking the poor turnout this week might just be thanks to the DS hype. I had something I was wanting to produce for this but I was too busy AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAing to do anything.

I'm thinking I'm probably not alone in this, so would it be acceptable to extend the deadline for this contest another week? Just so the hype can die down.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #53 on: March 15, 2010, 03:54:03 AM »
Sure. I think this is a worthwhile challenge that we can do a lot with, but DS hype has cut that time short. I don't have a problem with extending the deadline for a week, if that's all right with our other judges.


  • Kai Ni Recipient Many Years Late
  • *
  • You Finally Did It, Kadokawa.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #54 on: March 15, 2010, 04:10:05 AM »
This judge has no qualms with an extended deadline. But I expect perfection from our contestants in exchange! >: <

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #55 on: March 15, 2010, 06:20:03 AM »
No problem. The current theme has enough potential to justify a deadline-extension. I trust our writers will use that properly  ;)


Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #56 on: March 15, 2010, 07:11:26 AM »
Huh.  Guess I had more time to edit then I thought....  Oh well, I don't think I'd have changed too much.


  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #57 on: March 20, 2010, 10:23:13 PM »
The apartment complex had been abandoned for some time. Even as she'd run up the stairs Saya had seen the signs of decay - the peeling wallpaper, the faded colours of long-hanging paint, the first cracks emerging in the architecture. All of these were an afterthought to her as she dashed up the stairway, each step hurting as she slammed her foot into the ground with all her might.

She hadn't even taken the time to change out of her school uniform after she'd gone home. She'd left a simple note, an apology for everything, before slipping away before her parents noticed her plans. She hadn't chosen this building beforehand, but it was the tallest thing in the vicinity. Looking around for something larger would take time, and the longer she left it the more likely she was to get scared and change her mind.

Her pants echoed throughout the stairwell as she paced up the stairs. She was a mess, and she knew it. How often had they taunted her over the long black hair her parents had been so proud of? The dark brown eyes that had been crying ever since she'd started running? They'd said she looked like a little girl pretending to be a princess. Who would hang out with a girl as childish as that at her age?

She burst open the door to the rootop, the cold wind stinging on her face. The sun was just setting now, turning the sky a deep red. Saya caught her breath, her hands on her knees as she gasped for fresh air.


No-one had followed her inside, and the idea of someone actually living in these apartments was almost funny. She tried to laugh at the thought of some hermit residing in a forgotten building like this. It didn't work. The thought of what she was about to do was too prevalent in her mind.

With an unsteady pace, Saya made her way to the edge of the roof. She peered her head over, seeing the ground from several stories up. Everything seemed so small from up here - she knew the dots on the sidewalk were people, but from this distance it was still hard to believe.

She wondered if that was how she looked to other people - tiny, to the point where she barely seemed human.

It seemed so easy from here. Just a few steps forward, and gravity would do the rest. She'd fall, maybe for a few seconds, and hit the ground with a heaving crash. Her family would cry for her, but they wouldn't realise just how much this meant to her. It would be over. It would all be over.

She would be free.

Saya was still for a moment, before she carefully balanced herself on the edge of the rooftop. It was a precarious balance now - one slip would easily be enough to send her falling to her doom. All it would take now was one more step-

"The hell are you doing?"


The shock of hearing a voice behind her was almost enough to send Saya over the edge, but a hand gripped her tightly on the shoulder. The voice sounded female, if a little rough, but it definitely wasn't anyone Saya had met before. She looked back.

The girl looking at her was hard to take seriously for several reasons. Firstly, her hair was a tone between white and violet and ran down to her ankles. Secondly, she was dressed in a ridiculous pair huge red overalls with infantile paper charms thrown on, held up by suspenders. Her shirt was a light shade of brown, or rather a thoroughly discoloured white as if it had been held next to a flame for a few hours.

Overall, no matter how hard those red eyes looked at Saya, she couldn't see this as anything other than her survival instincts resorting to hallucination to stop her. That said, this hallucination had a pretty tight grip.

"Geez, kids these days. If you throw yourself off my rooftop I'm gonna be liable for damages, what with all the fancy lawsuit schmawsuit crap going around now."

Her rooftop? Was Saya honestly meant to believe that anyone would - or even could - take up residence in a dilapitated apartment complex like this? No running water, no electricity - it'd be like like living in the past. This was too ridiculous for her to see as possible now.

"L...Look, can I just wish you away or something? You...aren't making this any easier."

Saya's words were barely audible, and the girl in suspenders had to pull her head in to make them out. She then chose to respond by holding tighter onto her as she burst into laughter.

"Ahahaha! Yeah, I guess I would look like that nowadays, huh? Damn, girl, you must think you're pretty crazy to dream up something like good old Mokou!"

Saya couldn't see the humour in this situation. She squirmed against the hand holding her down, trying to take that final step forward now more than ever.

"Please. Just let me..."

The laughing stopped.

"...So you really do wanna do it, huh."

There was a silence as Mokou looked off into the distance for a moment. Saya could make out something resembling nostalgia in those eyes of hers. As she turned back against there was a sudden hardness in her glare.

"You know what you're doing, I guess. Think it's just as easy as taking a step and it's all over, right? All the pain and sorrow of your sad little life, gone in an instant?"

At first Saya was too stunned and ashamed to reply, but she looked away as she reluctantly nodded. That thought, the idea of everything being over, had been so beautifully enticing to her.

She felt a hand slapping her on the back of the head.


"Don't be an idiot. You think what you're doing is fair?"

There was spite, maybe even anger in these words now. The hand on her shoulder gripped tighter, until it started to hurt.

"You've got parents, I'm guessing. We all do. You think they want to have the police come to the door and say 'Sorry, ma'am, your little piece of sunshine just threw herself off a rooftop'? Do you know how selfish you're being right now?"

Saya bit her lip. Mokou's words were a harsh reminder of all the thoughts that had held her back from doing this up until now. She closed her eyes, so full of tears now she could barely see anymore.

The faces of the girls at school flashed into her mind, and her doubts once again fell to the sidelines.

"Look...whoever you are, you have no idea what happens to me every day. I swear, sometimes it feels like every girl in school has a vendetta against me. I don't go one day without a note in the locker telling me how ugly I am, and I've almost got scars in my back from all the pencils and erasers I've had thrown at me when the teacher isn't looking. No-one cares about how I feel - I'm just a punching bag, a stress toy or something. Not a person."

She looked back down again, a glimmer of hope shining in her eyes.

"But this is it. This is my one chance to get back at them. When they find out I'm dead they'll know it was their fault, and they'll be guilty and they'll never get over it and-"

"So it's vengeance, then."

Mokou sighed as she cut Saya off from her wild fantasising. Her eyes grew weary.

"Let me tell you a story, kid. Once upon a time there was a little girl whose daddy was a big feudal lord. Daddy falls in love with some princess, daddy gets turned down and humiliated. The little girl is furious, and she decides that she's going to stop at nothing to get payback for her father's pride.

Thing is, this princess isn't some ordinary girl. No, she's from the moon and she's got crazy immortality powers and shit like that. So the little girl has to do a lot of bad things to get her revenge. She kills, she steals, and in the end she finds a way to become immortal herself. She gets strong, real strong, and finally challenges the princess to a fight."

Saya couldn't find a chance to interrupt, and given the look on the girl's face she wasn't going to get one any time soon. There was desperation in those eyes, a violent urge to make sure this story was told.

"It's a tie, of course, because they both end up dead, but they just come back and do it again. They fight over and over, day in and day out, never stopping to wonder if there's even a point in fighting any more. That's what vengeance does to you - it eats you alive, consumes every inch of you until you're just an empty shell."

Saya shook visibly. True, this girl was talking nonsense, but it was nonsense with a point. Doubt started to creep back into her mind, but it was only enough to make her uncertain. She still made no effort to step back from the edge of the roof, but the determination in her eyes had faded. She would stand here for hours at this rate.

"...Heh, guess it wouldn't be that easy for you if you had the nerve to come up here. We'll have to do this the hard way."

The hand slipped off of her shoulder, and Saya felt herself being held around the waist tightly. Mokou whispered something into her ear.

"Think fast."

And with that, Saya felt herself falling forward into nothing.


Her first thought was relief.

She hadn't needed to make the hard choice of taking her own life - now some demented hermit living in a broken down building had done it for her. She could go to her death without the guilt that came with suicide.

But...going to her death? That'd hurt, wouldn't it? Saya had chosen to fall because not only was it fast, but there was no going back. She'd never stopped to think about how it would feel, and now she was embracing the experience with another girl clinging to her in some twisted double-death.

It was fast. Very fast. Faster than she could ever remember moving. The wind blasted past her face, almost deafening. The ground was drawing closer and closer, still as hard and unforgiving as it always was.

She had only touched on the feeling lightly, never going into detail in her head, but now the images were flashing into her mind with disturbing realism. The sound of her head splitting cleanly against the floor, her skull snapping neatly into several tiny fragments. She might not even be fortunate enough to die instantly - she could still survive for a few seconds as her body shut down, every single nerve crying out in agony.

No, no! Don't think about it, don't think about it!

She tried to distract herself. She didn't want her last moments to be like this, but the image was too traumatic to get out of her head. The puddle of blood expanding slightly as the life drained out of her, her eyes blankly looking upwards towards the setting sun. Beside her, Mokou, the red stains of her own blood seeping into her hair as she lay lifeless.

All of it, so painful, so horrible. And all for a stupid grudge?


She murmured it, too shocked to let out the scream her mind was begging to release. Other thoughts were flowing into her head now - the images of her life to come, of her graduation, and being accepted into a good college, and meeting a man who loved her, and getting married and having children and living happily ever after and-

"What was that? Speak up, kid!"

She had thrown it all away. All of it. She had been an idiot, a real, first-class idiot.

There was no point in responding. Nothing could save them now, not while the pair of them were in freefall. But she didn't care. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to just go home and wrap her arms around her mother and say she loved her. She wanted to take it all back, take back this stupid choice she'd made and saved herself.

She called out to anyone who would listen.


The ground came closer and closer. Saya squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear the feeling of her own death coming at her so quickly.


Of all the ways she'd expected to collide with the ground, she hadn't expected to hit it with a swoosh. She nervously opened one eye, checking if she was looking down at her own dead body.

The same sidewalk was beneath her, but it was getting further and further away all the time. Was her soul being taken to heaven, or...?

"Sorry I had to scare ya like that, kid. Sometimes you gotta play rough to get the message across."

Mokou seemed unaffected by the ordeal, and as Saya turned around she could see her smiling with the pride of a noble.

And on her back, sending the two of them back into the air, were a pair of beautiful wings encased in flame.

Mokou landed back on the rooftop with the most gentle of landings. Saya's head was filled with thousands of questions about what had happened, about who Mokou was, about the story, about everything.

But before that, she needed to do one thing.

She leant her head in against Mokou's breast and wept. The arms around her loosened, embracing her gently now.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Shh...just go all out, kid. Let it all loose..."


She got the short story, at least - about a mystical land called Gensokyo that had existed some time ago, and how the border that had separated it from the outside world had decayed thanks to the untrained shrine maiden assigned to guard it. How after the collapse Mokou had taken refuge in an abandoned building out of fear someone would discover her power and take her in to be 'studied'. How she'd spent all this time thriving on what little nature the country had left to offer amidst the rise of civilisation. It was all nearly impossible to believe, but after what Saya had seen this girl do she could hardly doubt anything else.

" thing I want to ask."

Mokou jerked her head towards her, smiling. Apparently this nostalgia had been pleasant for her.

"Shoot, kid."

"That story you told me, about the girl and the princess. How did it end?"

Mokou's smile froze on her face. She had clearly been hoping that the exhilaration of the fall had wiped this thought from Saya's mind. She let off a heaving sigh.

"Well, guess I can't let the tale go unfinished. Bad practice."

She stood up from her spot at the edge of the rooftop, turning and looking out to the last remnants of the sunset. Saya couldn't see her face from here.

"The little girl's a big girl now, and she starts looking up ways to nullify the whole immortality thing. The killing isn't good enough for her any more - she wants to end it for real this time.

And, lo and behold, she finds a way. It takes her hundreds of years, but she finally develops a potion that reverses the immortality. She forces it down the princess's throat and kills her for the last time. The girl feels one moment of satisfaction as she sees the light fading from the eyes of her nemesis. Just one."

She was silent for a long time after that. As the story seeped out her head started to sink lower along with the sun in front of her.

"...And then?"

"What else is there? The girl got her revenge, yeah, but who's she gonna share it with? Her dad's been dead for ages now, and the only other person who she could spend an eternity with is lying dead in her arms. She just lies there, holding onto the corpse for hours, crying her eyes out. Hours turn into days, into weeks. She starves to death, still holding onto her arch-enemy like she was her best friend.

But of course she just gets back up, over and over again. She's got nothing left in her. Nothing left to live for, nothing to do with herself. No materials to cure herself of her own immortality, either. Her heart beats, her body breathes, but really she's just going through the motions. Her soul died a long time ago."

Another silence. Saya could make out a few teardrops hanging on the ground at Mokou's feet.

"Course, no-one'd believe a story like that nowadays, but morals never change. Vengeance doesn't solve anything, kid. You'd scare a few kids, but how the hell would that matter to you? After all, you'd be dead."

There was an almost pathetic tone in Mokou's voice as the last few sentences forced their way out of her mouth. Saya didn't need to ask who the girl in the story was. She simply nodded in response.

"Right. ...I'm sorry, I must have looked really pathetic during that whole scene..."

"Hey, let bygones be bygones. I don't even remember it anymore."

She shrugged, her normal cocky tone returning in an instant. Saya couldn't imagine how hard it must have been to put on that face given what Mokou had been through, but she'd had centuries of practice.

"One more thing. Why did you help me...?"

Mokou turned back to Saya once more, with a different emotion hanging in those fiery red eyes. She was looking at Saya's body intently - the long black hair that ran down to her knees, the dark brown eyes that had recovered from the tears they had shed. Most people saw them as infantile, but Mokou's view of them was very different.

They were noble.

"You, uh...remind me of someone, that's all."

Mokou's eyes welled up, despite her best efforts. Even after all this time, and trying so hard to hide her feelings, there was undoubtedly something human hidden in there. Even if Mokou herself didn't want to admit it, she still had a soul. Saya's heart rose a little at the sight of it.

The sun completed its fall, the last remnants of red light fading away. Mokou took it as a cue to shoo Saya away from seeing her so weak.

"C'mon, it's getting late. Your folks are probably worried sick about you."

Saya's eyes widened.

"Oh! T-That's right! I'd better get going!"

Saya panicked and started to run toward the door back into the building. She gave Mokou one last wave as she stepped back in.

"Thank you! Thank you for everything!"

"No problem, kid."

Mokou brushed Saya off as she slammed the rooftop door behind her. She was alone in the faint light of dusk, watching as the city fell asleep.

"...Man, I'm getting old. It's gonna get to the point where everyone I meet reminds me of you, huh?"

She was talking to no-one in particular, aiming her words at someone no longer among the living. She strolled casually around the rooftop as she spoke.

"It's still hard to believe I'm saying this, but I miss you. I miss the smile you would always wear as you impaled me on the branch-thing of yours. That crazy cackle you called a laugh. The nights we'd always spend plotting ways to murder each other. It was enough to make me forget about things. About Keine."

She stopped and raised an arm into the air, reaching out towards nothingness. Her hand trembled.

"And now look what's happened. I wanted you dead so much that I even threw that away. Ironic, I guess. Now I'm all alone, left to watch as the world comes apart and pulls itself back together. Over and over. Until the end of time."

She shook her head.

"No, no, that's not right. For eternity. the end, I guess you won, didn't you?"

The last word came out as almost a whisper, Mokou's resolve leaving her at the last moment.



To be honest, this is an idea I've had running around my head for a while now. It's sort of a relief to finally use it. -_-;


  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #58 on: March 21, 2010, 12:38:27 PM »

I liked that one, about Mokou going on beyond Gensokyo's collapse. That was good.

Nat Tea

  • ★三 ☆三 ★三 ☆三 ★三
  • 三☆ 三★ 三☆ 三★ 三☆
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread!
« Reply #59 on: March 22, 2010, 04:50:26 AM »
"I'm too lazy to."

That's Komachi's excuse for everything. It's such a nuisance!

Look at her, sitting in her boat, yawning like there's nothing to do. It's this, day after day after day!

She's so lazy, my green hair could just sponteously combust right now!!

..okay, so maybe it would not. But you know what? I've had enough. This is the last straw!

I stomped over to Komachi, snoozing her time away.

"Hey! Komachi! That's it!" I screamed at her.

"Yamada!" (translator's note: yamada means it's the yama! oh man!)

"Don't you 'Yamada!' me! I can't let you be lazy for one more day!" I produced from my pocket my Rod of Remorse and prepared to scold Komachi.

She got up from the boat, jumped onto the shore, and pushed me back with one hand. "Yo, Shikieiki, you told me that every day for how long now? It's not like this time's going to be different." Komachi sneered.

Fury! In my eyes! "You're wrong, Komachi! Even if I wished you were hard-working, it just wouldn't work! Therefore, I must make you repent! Sloth is a sin!"

Komachi yawned again. "You can't stop me, you know."

"Yes I can!" I made my determined move and jumped on Komachi's arm. "Yaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" I swung my blunt instrument as hard as I can. I'll scold Komachi so hard, she'll never be lazy!

...Suddenly, a bright flash of light blinded me and I stumbled to the side. I rubbed my eyes afterwards and took a look at Komachi.

"She's asleep again... but that light. What was that about?"

Unfortunately, I had decided that today wasn't the day to get Komachi to work just a little bit more. I headed back to my house and decided to get some shut eye.

The first day...

I strolled over to my desk in the morning and discovered a new stack of paperwork sitting on top of it.

"It can't be... Maybe Komachi is having an off day today and she just wants to get it over with." I shrugged my shoulders and sorted out the paper work.

The second day...

I look over at my desk again. Another stack?!

"What's going on here? Something feels wrong." It took a lot more effort to finish it, but I'm sure this will be over soon.

The day after that...

I took a glance at my desk.


The stack of paperwork had now reached the ceiling! I just finished the stack that I got yesterday!

I screamed in horror. "How is this happening? How is this happeninggggg?! I can't keep up... I'm too used to the old pace! I have to check on Komachi now!"

I ran out the door and headed to the shore where I tried to scold Komachi a couple days back. I managed to catch Komachi, but she was actually landing on the shore.

She grinned while she waved goodbye to the spirit she ferried across. "Hey, Miss Yamaxanadu. How are you?"

I grabbed Komachi by her shirt. "What is wrong with youuuuu?!"

"Nothing's wrong, ma'dam. I'm just doing my work." She held her fist out and placed it at her chest. "My work is my pride!"

I got on my knees and placed my hands on the ground.

"Shikieiki, what's wrong?"

"I can't be lazyyyyyy!"



Author's note: I'm cutting it too close to the deadline and I've got nothing. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! :shikieiki:
Horie dorie~
Pixiv: / PSO2: Choja (Ship5) / 3DS: 3496-9942-9472 / PSVITA: choja206 (English) / chojahiragawajpn (Japanese) / Cosplays: Koishi Komeiji, Kogasa Tatara
Tumblr contains cooking and cosplay. Twitter contains me retweeting everything.
I draw but I do not use artist title. I also write, but I have been inactive lately. I want to get better at those things and more!