Author Topic: Touhou Dream Thread  (Read 349743 times)

Cybeast710

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Touhou Dream Thread
« on: November 18, 2012, 04:21:00 PM »
Considering this is the Touhou Addict Recovery Board, I'm amazed there's no thread for one of the Tetris Effect symptoms: Dreams.

I'm sure if you've played enough, or stared at this forum enough, you've had some sort of dream about Gensokyo. Or maybe just about playing Touhou/Bullet Hells.

You've probably never posted them here. I invite you to post any such dreams into this thread. I'm no psychologist, just interested.  I've had 2 dreams about Gensokyo, and 1 that looked like it was going down that path. All 3 are described in detail on this board's "You know you're addicted to Touhou when..." thread.

so, if you have a dream about Gensokyo or Touhou/Bullet Hells make an appearance, post it here when you wake up.
If you have a dream from your past that you remember, post it here too


Dream 1 abour Gensokyo:
Not sure what caused this, but I had a lucid dream about. Gensokyo last night. It started with me sitting at my computer, playing a game. Then, I remember becoming the in game character, and falling through a warp. My perspective shifted to the computer, and I saw a bunch of space invaders on a wall. Then, my perspective shifted again to the world, and Suika Ibuki said to me: "Bet you've never seen graphics like this!" It was like a VR system! It looked just like, well, reality. My perspective seemed to keep jumping between the computer as I went through 20 chapters, doing tasks with my gamepad including:
Sonic CD-esque nature saving
Danmaku battles
Getting back the Hakurei Shrine's tea from a bunch of weird characters
And quite a few more which I don't remember.
 And my character whenever I had some time that I could chill and ask Suika or Reimu questions. Even about non-canon, they answered questions. Take Touhou Mother, for instance. I asked about Pokey, and I got rewarded with a cold shoulder for 2 in-game hours! I'd also, weirdly, see what would be a cutscene in gaming from my character's point of view.



Dream 2 about Gensokyo

So it started off with my house. Some... events... happened, most of which are not going to be related here. Then, the setting does a jump cut to the SDM. Apparently, my subconscious really decided to implement Yukari's thought: "Note to self: find a way to bring the internet to Gensokyo." in Imperishable Metamorphosis. Because there was a computer in the place. Now the odd thing is, the house kept going from my house to the SDM, and the person who was appearing was switching between my mom and Remilia. Anyway, i'd gone to the basement in my house after a brief conversation with mom/Remilia, when the scene jump cut to the SDM's basement. I knew enough to get the hell out of the basement, but i heard Sakuya and Patchouli talking. Something about "the figures can go down to an inch, and if my calculations are correct, up to 7,463 inches, thus causing a lot of damage with a stilleto heel."(when i think about it, i put the blame for this part on Suika from IM) I walked up to them, and bluntly asked how that worked. My subconscious is really screwed up, because Sakuya said something along the lines of: "The mistress is having a feast to demonstrate these figures later. Join us then." I'd fired back something that if i was REALLY in Gensokyo, and the SDM, would have been a knifing offense for certain: "Oh, no. Believe me, i know enough not to push through a crowd. Especially if FLANDRE's around." I'd said Flandre's name with extreme... Well, the tone wasn't pretty. Scene jump cut to my basement again, with mom coming down and saying: "It's very late." I whined a bit. "Cmon, mom. I just was up reading." "You can read the book on the table, and nothing else. So i picked up the book, and it was called: "700 words to use when you're angry." Then, the scene jump cut again as soon as i opened it, and the book turned into one of Patchy's grimoires. Which was a jerk and cursed me. How so? My steam notifications suddenly appeared in the corner of my vision. And they stayed there. (Yeah, way to really confuse me. I guess it installed Vista into my brain, or something) So this time, I naturally assumed that i was still in the SDM, but instead, i got decked by Reimu, since it jump cut to the Hakurei Shrine. She simply punched me, though. Now, she had a computer, too. (How? No clue.) I wake up to find her talking to Mima. And i'm tied to a chair. "...Simply cannot deal with this right now!" The camera left my point of view at this point. It moved over to two unnamed youkai. "I hear that the reason we haven't seen much of any big names is because they're... Gaming. What is gaming anyway?" "You got me there. Rumors say that if you ever get into a match with a username of Lavaetaein, unplug your computer immediately, or the last thing you'll hear is "Kyuu" before you're standing in Komachi's boat." "dude, you actually believe those?" "Considering the spate of mysterious disappearances, yeah, i kinda do."

Dream kinda cut off here.

Touhou dream (not featuring Gensokyo)
It started off at night, with me in a room with a couple of people, holding a controller. Funny thing is, it was like a race. Split-screen, both of us trash-talking the other. And it was a bullet hell! We were each trying to get to the end of it first. I was doing downright awful at it, though. Constantly taking hits, whining and complaining. Stupid thing is, I know that pattern. The boss, I never saw. But its patterns were those of Golden Disaster from Dodonpachi Resurrection. Somewhere along the way, my dream, and the game, shifted. I was using a keyboard, and exited out of something. Steam was displaying: "Touhou: That Lazy Shrine Maiden 32% complete" (yeah, Touhou game on Steam. Weird, right?) So I opened up my browser. In one tab, I had searched Google for "Kid Icarus meme'd"
There was actually search results for those:

Some YouTube video

Akyu's Arcade thread

Kid Icarus's Wikipedia entry.

 In another, this forum was open. I checked personal messages, and I had one new message.


      No image found         Subject: Touhou 16.5: Rage of Desire

                                          Sender: (this field was blank)
      Message:
      Cybeast, we miss you. Come back to the party!

Now the weird thing is, I saw a picture of a door. But I think i got a little too excited about a new Touhou game. Because at this point, I woke up. Which frustrates me, because if this went down the path it seems to be heading toward, it'd have been a dream about Gensokyo. Oh well...
(funny thing is, this wasn't long before ZUN announced 13.5...)

« Last Edit: November 18, 2012, 05:17:18 PM by Cybeast710 »
My fanfics: Touhou Wrecks X!
What happens when Nue's in a pranky mood and at the same time, Yukari's bored? Pokemon XD: Impostor of Darkness
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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2012, 07:27:12 PM »
Well, there was a thread about it, but it has been locked due to inactivity (it's still in page 2, though).

I remember having a dream where I was dodging Alice's Last Word, but with more of a first-person view than usual game display (as if I were the character doing this). Weird part is that I haven't even unlocked said spell in game, so I have no idea where this comes from  :V

Btw, I'm always amazed by how well people are able to remember their own dreams...wish I could do that (at least more often than once in a blue moon), it's frustrating to feel there was something interesting which I can never recall.

Ikari

  • I'm just so charismatic
  • It's turning into derp
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2012, 09:02:17 PM »
I rarely remembers any dreams, but this one struck me as very odd.

I'm stuck in a huge white dimension... Nothing nowhere.

Then I see Yukari in the distance. She floats toward me slowly and then points me. A huge triangle made of colorful arrow-head bullets is pointed at me.

It slowly travels toward me... Slowly... then it hits me and I wake up with a scream and violent spasms. I think I should have used a continue.

Yatakarasu

  • Always failing, sometimes winning!
  • Fail mode activate!
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2012, 09:05:34 PM »
I know that feel, Ikari. I can never remember my dreams.

However, I do remember a flying dream I had once. Just flying over Gensokyo. No bullets, not even any characters. Just flying.

Normal Clears: EoSD, PCB, IN, PoFV, MoF, SA, UFO, TD, DDC
Hard Clears: PoFV, SA, TD, DDC
Extra Clears: PoFV, MoF, SA, UFO, TD, DDC
Current touhou goal: Improve! ...1cc more Hard Modes

Ikari

  • I'm just so charismatic
  • It's turning into derp
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2012, 09:06:51 PM »
However, I do remember a flying dream I had once. Just flying over Gensokyo. No bullets, not even any characters. Just flying.

This is the kind of dream I wish I'd have. Instead of that stupid rainbow triangle...

redlakitu

Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2012, 09:19:37 PM »
It appears that, after switching providers, my Internet connection developed a nasty habit of going down right after midnight and staying that way for most of the night once in a few weeks.  It's incredibly annoying, because I love slowly falling asleep while casually browsing the Internet well past midnight. Anyway, when this happened for the first time, I went to sleep in a bad mood and had a dream full of Touhou characters. At first everything resembled an isometric RPG game, probably because I've been playing Genius of Sappheiros and Labyrinth of Touhou before, and the second part was just like an animated visual novel.  At one point in the dream, Kanako offered to fix my Internet connection in exchange for a small favor. After waking up, the first thing I did was of course to check the connection and, sure enough, it worked.

Cybeast710

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2012, 09:22:08 PM »
Well, there was a thread about it, but it has been locked due to inactivity (it's still in page 2, though).

I remember having a dream where I was dodging Alice's Last Word, but with more of a first-person view than usual game display (as if I were the character doing this). Weird part is that I haven't even unlocked said spell in game, so I have no idea where this comes from  :V

Btw, I'm always amazed by how well people are able to remember their own dreams...wish I could do that (at least more often than once in a blue moon), it's frustrating to feel there was something interesting which I can never recall.

Trust me, i know how you feel too. These three dreams are the first i've remembered in a REALLY long time. Ironic that the only dreams i remember are those related to Touhou. Those, and a dream which i had when i was 5 that recently reoccurred, and would make more sense in Portal settings. It was about an elevator plunging forward past signs labeled "You are perfectly safe" and other such nonsense, including: "This elevator can take temperatures up to 9000 degrees!" (Thanks, Slippy, for that.) Originally, I saw a pit of fire it was going to plunge into.
But ironically, Touhou hijacked that too. The pit of fire was replaced with... something else. Thinking back, i'm almost certain I saw Utsuho in said nightmare during the second time! Translation: even my childhood nightmares aren't safe from Touhou association! Plunging the elevator into a pit of fire.

But yeah. My dreams i remember once in a blue moon. I'm actually pretty sure that the ONLY reason these stuck in my head is because Touhou made an appearance in all of them. As for the elevator nightmare... yeah... reoccurring nightmares tend to be remembered.
My fanfics: Touhou Wrecks X!
What happens when Nue's in a pranky mood and at the same time, Yukari's bored? Pokemon XD: Impostor of Darkness
I made this cool matrixy eye:

LadyScarlet

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2012, 09:35:27 PM »
I remember having a dream where a Touhou show premiered on Cartoon Network. I can't remember most of the details, but it SUCKED. Almost all the names were changed, too.

Rachel Harrison (Reimu Hakurei) is a nun at the Harrison Church.
Marisa Klarkson (Marisa Kirisame) is a magician who loves borrowing books from Patricia's (Patchouli's) library (no differences here, aside from new scenes where she returns them.)
Sally Clark (Sanae Kochiya) is a nun at the Morway Church.
Yuliana Konemann (Youmu Konpaku) is a gardener (all swordfighting scenes are cut out) in Heaven (hell is a bad word!!).
Shannon Ingall (Sakuya Izayoi) is the head servant at the White Demon House (red implies blood, devil is satanic, mansion will make kids jealous!).

And those are just the MAIN characters. Let's not even get started on the others...

I know ZUN would never allow it, but that's what dreams are for. XD
My Youtube Channel. I mostly upload Hisoutensoku videos.

Yatakarasu

  • Always failing, sometimes winning!
  • Fail mode activate!
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2012, 09:55:41 PM »
Someone watched too many shitty 4kids dubs.

By the way, that sounds gloriously awful.

Normal Clears: EoSD, PCB, IN, PoFV, MoF, SA, UFO, TD, DDC
Hard Clears: PoFV, SA, TD, DDC
Extra Clears: PoFV, MoF, SA, UFO, TD, DDC
Current touhou goal: Improve! ...1cc more Hard Modes

Ran-Rii

  • Regular at Patchouli's Library
  • In Patchouli's Library, reading books
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2012, 12:34:24 AM »
If you want to remember your dreams more vividly, you could prepare a notebook, and jot down everything you remember about it the moment you wake up. It helps if you do it the exact moment you wake up.

I suppose, for me, the weirdest one was me being woken up in the middle of my study. Before I slept, I clearly remember I was doing my History Essay. I looked up to find the person who waked me up,  and it turns out Keine was shaking me and yelling something like "Koishi" or something. I don't really remember that line, but it was pretty obvious I was in a classroom. Surprisingly, Keine only told me to go and wash up first. I dunno what happened, but I know I took my essay with me, and in a moment's notice the scene cut to the Voile Library. I don't really remember what happened here, but it was along the lines of Patchouli saying something about how tired I looked and something about offering to give me a cup of coffee or something and telling me to drink less alcohol(?). At that point of time, I seemed to be actively concious and manipulating the dream. Patchouli said something about how Flandre needed history tuition or ting with Keine again, and offered to help me research on my essay topic. This part felt very real, and I felt as if I was really writing the esaay even though Patchouli was helping me write it. This was the point where the thought of checking how I looked like occured to me, and I was about to look at myself but Patchouli suddenly threw the essay book at me and said something like "You don't really love me, do you?!" and started screaming something about killing me. I managed to take a look at myself and foubd that I was wearing Keine's dress from the weird sleeves and the skirt pattern. Suddenly, I saw Patchouli holding up a spell card (this part, everything was muted) and I was blasted out of the library by some fireball and the scene immediately cut to black.

Next thing I knew was Mokou waking me up, saying something about how I fainted along the roadside with an essay book. I still was apparantly "Keine", and Mokou asked me something about tuition for Flandre, and then the scene cut to black. In this black void Flandre suddenly appeared behind my back with her arms around my waist, saying something like "Teacher, don't go, I still wanna play" in a very childish tone. I remember saying something like "I have to sleep early" and just walked off.

When I woke up, I realized I was writing my essay late into the night when I suddenly had fever and was muttering strage stuff, according to my parents. My essay was written, but it was right beside me.

I was sure there was something that happened while Keine was still unconscious with Mokou, but I just cannot pinpoint what happened.

Edit: Oh... No. I knew what happened...
I remember my skirt was torn, I was partially undressed, and my socks were strewn over the place... And Mokou had that weird smirk on he face when she woke me... Why didn't I realise...
« Last Edit: November 19, 2012, 12:52:43 AM by Ran-Rii »

Delfigamer

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2012, 09:27:27 AM »
tl;dr
I know that feel, Ikari. I can never remember my dreams.
I just wanted to advice you to write a dream immediately after waking up. Science says it's a good way to memorize dreams better.

The Jealous Witch did nothing wrong.

Ikari

  • I'm just so charismatic
  • It's turning into derp
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2012, 10:14:27 AM »
tl;drI just wanted to advice you to write a dream immediately after waking up. Science says it's a good way to memorize dreams better.

Oh I'm a night person so I'm completely stoned when I wake up. The only thing my mind if filled with is pure hatred and the desire to murder everything with a purple unicorn.

Yatakarasu

  • Always failing, sometimes winning!
  • Fail mode activate!
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2012, 11:41:07 AM »
Oh I'm a night person so I'm completely stoned when I wake up.
Dammit Ikari, are you like my twin or something.
Yeah, most nights I say up to like 12-3am depending on how much work I have to do. And then I have to wake up at around 6-9am (with a searing rage to tear down a brick wall). So there is no way I could write anything down.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2012, 11:43:56 AM by Yatakarasu »

Normal Clears: EoSD, PCB, IN, PoFV, MoF, SA, UFO, TD, DDC
Hard Clears: PoFV, SA, TD, DDC
Extra Clears: PoFV, MoF, SA, UFO, TD, DDC
Current touhou goal: Improve! ...1cc more Hard Modes

Delfigamer

  • * Merry, bride, absolute (HR)
  • of course the best girl never wins
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2012, 12:57:01 PM »
Am I the only guy who sleeps twice a day? :3

The Jealous Witch did nothing wrong.

Ran-Rii

  • Regular at Patchouli's Library
  • In Patchouli's Library, reading books
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2012, 01:37:39 PM »
Am I the only guy who sleeps twice a day? :3

Incidentally, no.
I sleep in the afternoon to brace myself for studying at night, thus I remember my dreams better. Nocturnal, really.

Nihilanth

  • Nyaa~ like no tomorrow.
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2012, 03:40:56 PM »
Shamefully, all the Touhou-related dreams that I've been having for the last few months, have been all NSFW-related. With the exception of a few, I've probably had around 6 or 7 NSFW dreams all with different Touhou girls.

I recall one dream around a month ago where I had a dinner date with Youmu in a Chinese restaurant. We spoke a bit about random topics such as cleanliness(?) and my school. Somehow, the dream ended with me getting killed in my own house by Remilia, who shot me in the face with a pistol. Very strange.

Ikari

  • I'm just so charismatic
  • It's turning into derp
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2012, 08:47:55 PM »
Dammit Ikari, are you like my twin or something.

Probably!

I usually go to sleep at 2:00 AM, but then wake up at 3 PM, making me to sleep at 5 AM, thus I wake up at 5 PM, thus I go to sleep at 6 AM, etc. (Unless I have school)

Last year, I spent my entire spring break doing this infernal loop. I tried to break out of it when I started to go to sleep at 11 AM.


Kaze_Senshi

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #17 on: November 19, 2012, 09:11:33 PM »
Am I the only guy who sleeps twice a day? :3

Me too, I am used to do this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siesta


And I don't recall any touhou dream mine  ::)
My youtube channel with my creations: https://www.youtube.com/user/KazeSenshi2929
( ゆっくりしていってね)>

Ikari

  • I'm just so charismatic
  • It's turning into derp
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #18 on: November 19, 2012, 09:18:23 PM »
I realize there is only one situation where I dream every time and remember them somewhat clearly, and it's whenever I take a nap in my grandmother's house. (It happens 4 times a week, 2 weeks per month. Don't ask why, it's a long story.)

I have yet to make a Touhou dreams there. I wish I could have one of those lucid dreams that last for what seems like days. That would make me happy. Oh so very happy.

Me too, I am used to do this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siesta

I really wish I could take naps. My body hates me whenever I do it, though; If I ever sleep for more than 30 minutes, when I'll wake up, I'll feel sick, sluggish and generally even sleepier. It's simply horrible.

Kaze_Senshi

  • Ehhhhh...
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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2012, 12:40:24 AM »
I really wish I could take naps. My body hates me whenever I do it, though; If I ever sleep for more than 30 minutes, when I'll wake up, I'll feel sick, sluggish and generally even sleepier. It's simply horrible.

I read somewhere that our bodies have something like sleep cycles, it starts with one cycle that needs 20-40 minutes to end and after it comes other cycle which take some hours to end. If you wake up after starting the second cycle but without end it, you'll feel more slow and tired. So try to take a shorter nap when you're planning to take a nap and see what happens.
My youtube channel with my creations: https://www.youtube.com/user/KazeSenshi2929
( ゆっくりしていってね)>

Ikari

  • I'm just so charismatic
  • It's turning into derp
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2012, 01:50:06 AM »
That's usually what I *try* to do, I take short 10-20 minutes naps, but then I become addicted, and I take them again, and again, and again until whoops, I end up sleeping all day / falling asleep for many hours.

Error

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #21 on: November 20, 2012, 09:22:34 AM »
Had a mini-dream where apparently I had hemorrhoids but the nurse wanted to double check,  so I bent over.
After about 10 seconds I heard the nurse shout "EXTEEEENDING AAAAARM"

Then I awoke in a cold sweat.

Delfigamer

  • * Merry, bride, absolute (HR)
  • of course the best girl never wins
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #22 on: November 20, 2012, 09:40:16 AM »
After about 10 seconds I heard the nurse shout "EXTEEEENDING AAAAARM"
Right?

The Jealous Witch did nothing wrong.

Error

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #23 on: November 20, 2012, 09:46:13 AM »

Nevindar

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #24 on: November 21, 2012, 09:06:00 AM »
I wish I could have one of those lucid dreams that last for what seems like days. That would make me happy. Oh so very happy.
You and me both. From what I've read and heard, A dream diary can actually help in that regard.

From the dreams I can remember (more or less), I've had a few Touhou characters pop up pretty randomly. My dreams are as disjointed as ever, but I can clearly remember impressions of certain characters. For example; in one dream I was talking to Marisa and Daiyousei in my livingroom, but it then turned out it was a virtual reality simulation. In another dream I was packing for a trip and forgetting things all the time while Alice was involved in the trip someway (she just kinda appeared halfway into the dream).

Speaking of dreams and something mentioned in the OP;
from my experiences, if one is playing a game a lot or watching a certain series, the dreams often revolve around playing that game or watching that series.
On the other hand, if one reads alot of stories or discussions (using a lot of imagination I believe), the dreams starts either including parts or characters from the stories or revolve around the stories.
I have also noted that if I'm well rested (slept at least 8 hours  each day for a few days), go to sleep, sleep ~6h, wake up and then sleep for 2-4h more, I have a higher chance of remembering the dream. I think its related to sleep cycles, as Kaze_Senshi mentioned, and REM sleep, but its been awhile since I've read up about it.

Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #25 on: November 21, 2012, 01:04:43 PM »
I've been sitting on this one for a few days, waiting for this thread to fire back up:

In the dream, Marisa spent the night at my house and got to meet my real-life family. She didn't really do anything, but I would describe her as a nice girl, well-dressed with beautiful hair. I remember a point being made about how she couldn't drive, but not about how she learned English. Anyway, I feel bad for involving her in my usual zany dreams, which on this particular night seemed to be about some sort of terrorist attack at a flea market (?).

Another dream was about Flandre and I being in some bizarre equivalent of the Stanford prison experiment. I guess the less I remember from that dream the better.

Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #26 on: November 22, 2012, 01:43:44 AM »
Well I forget if I mentioned, but one time I visited Yuyuko and she had a garden supply store and she said "aishiteru" to me.  Not many details to that dream other than some hugging and kissing.

More recently I had a wake-induced lucid dream where I got to chill with Yukari, but then Yuyuko came and the rest is NSFW.

Cybeast710

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Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #27 on: November 22, 2012, 03:46:31 PM »
Well I forget if I mentioned, but one time I visited Yuyuko and she had a garden supply store and she said "aishiteru" to me.  Not many details to that dream other than some hugging and kissing.

More recently I had a wake-induced lucid dream where I got to chill with Yukari, but then Yuyuko came and the rest is NSFW.

I have YET to successfully pull off a Wake Induced Lucid Dream, and not for lack of trying.
MILDs don't work for me, either. Believe me, i've tried.
My fanfics: Touhou Wrecks X!
What happens when Nue's in a pranky mood and at the same time, Yukari's bored? Pokemon XD: Impostor of Darkness
I made this cool matrixy eye:

Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #28 on: November 23, 2012, 01:12:54 PM »
It's disappointing to wake up and realize that the interesting touhou game you were playing doesn't even exist. It happened to me today and also has happened earlier. I was trying to unlock all secret characters in it by beating the game at certain difficulty level  :V

Ran-Rii

  • Regular at Patchouli's Library
  • In Patchouli's Library, reading books
Re: Touhou Dream Thread
« Reply #29 on: November 23, 2012, 04:05:30 PM »
"Play a game with me" is the worst thing you can hear from Flandre.

She started to force me into a game of tag, where she used Four of a Kind to cheat, Basketball, where she used Danmaku to shoot me whenever I got the ball, and Soccer, where she outright kicked me to the goalpost.

"It is no fun playing with you!" was the last thing I heard before I found myself CLEAVED INTO HALF.