Author Topic: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - The Morning After (Deadline December 31st)  (Read 114265 times)


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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #90 on: October 04, 2013, 07:01:17 AM »
AN: Don't know how many words, but not 3000.
Oh, goodness, hello there! I almost didn't notice. It's wonderful to meet you.

Hmm...well...we won't know each other for very long. In fact, once this ends, I'll probably forget you. You might forget me come a few days as well, maybe sooner. Maybe later. But even so, this moment here is ours, and I wouldn't have anything else.

It's wonderful, you know. You might think back to this and think it's a little cruel afterwards, but this is how I exist. It's my day to day life: isolated moments of discovery and then being put to rest. In between the days I simply sleep, and though I may never remember what happens I still know that I'm happy, that I'm content with this existance.

...Ah, I'm sorry. You're probably confused and wondering what's even going on now. I tend to ramble when people first open me. That's...well, that's very usual. I apologize. Most do not expect me when they open a simple book in a library. It's...well, that's quite the story, how I got here, and I don't really feel it necessary to explain.

All's well though. I am Danna, and I am the spirit of this tome. Again, it's wonderful to meet you.

Hmm? You want the explanation for why I'm here? Ah, but didn't I say-ah, yes, yes, of course. Allow me then, if it will entertain you. It is one of the few things I always remember, I suppose.

Sometime ago there was a group of writers. They were quite fond of each other, and they often wrote together as well. They were an eclectic bunch, always talking about something strange. Many times they weren't even discussing anything related to being an author, but never was there a closer group of companions. They smiled and they laughed, they cried and they screamed, but most of all they were together. Hand in hand, always moving forwards with pens dancing between their fingers. They were...happy.

When so many writers stay in one place for so long, well, perhaps this isn't true, but for them it was only a matter of time before they all decided to write something together. A love child of all their imaginations, really.

At first-and yes, by saying at first I do sort of jynx it, don't I?-it was almost perfect. Things went so smoothly. Pages after pages were written at such a blistering pace, sometimes they couldn't even believe it. A wonderful, beautiful story full of their love and adoration.

But, well, eventually it ended. They came to...argue. The direction of the plot became a heated debate within moments, and soon...soon progress halted. With no one agreeing, nothing was written. Then slowly, one by one they...ah.

I'm...sorry. It's a bit difficult, it's fine.

They...drifted away. The creation of this book, this one collaboration, pushed them away from each other. The story was never finished, and the manuscript was left alone. Some time later, a man in ignorance or perhaps spite binded the pages into a tome, with many blanks to spare, and several hundred years later...

I was born.

I...yes, I am the tsukumogami of that tome. And, like that moment of joy that came to an abrupt end, when my last page is read and my cover is closed, I will end. Until my next opening, but the story will begin anew and I will not remember.

Ah, I...I'm sorry. I've turned this into such a sad moment, even though I just said my time with you is limited. I've...I don't have many pages left, do I? But even then, I turned this into something about myself, and I didn't even give you the chance to introduce yourself...

H-huh? It's a-alright? R-really? You didn't mind? Ah, that's...

Thank you. Truly. I...I was not expecting such kindness.

Perhaps...perhaps we may see each other again? Please remember me, in that case, even if I...even if I do not.

It was truly wonderful meeting you.

Gloved hands trace the spine of the book, slowly and delicately. Almost uncharacteristically, if you were to know the owner.

"What are you doing over there?"

"Ah!" Her gold eyes blink rapidly for a moment before she tips the wide brim of her hat over them. "Nothing, beansprout. Just...nah. Nothing."

She sets the book back within the heavy shelves and glances at it once more before turning away, her lips in the slightest of smiles. "See you tomorrow, Danna."
[23:02] <~Iced> You have sown the seeds of your own destruction Amra.
[23:20] <Stuffman> enjoy your personally crafted hell Amra

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #91 on: October 06, 2013, 07:41:09 AM »
The Good Kit's Reader
Gods and Rabbits, or the Evolution Fairy, or, How the Lunar Seas came to Be.

Once upon a time, when the Gods still walked the corrupt earth, when the moon was sill untouched and unpurified, the lunar surface was not marked but instead a featureless plain of dust.

The rabbits were sent first.

However, without the gods, the governance could only become less orderly. Soon, an excess of opinion and flood of bad choices ripped apart early society.

Our once-peaceful ancestors split into many camps, and, on a day of great tragedy, went to war.

One faction soon regressed into a barbarism, living and governing by force of arms alone. They absorbed almost all others, styled themselves as the last free peoples, and offered a vision of a world united by one freedom: the freedom to conquer. Calling themselves Mightists, they discarded learning, comfort, and all other things they thought weak.

The others, however, trusted their machines and their Thousand-Year Mission. They built the foundations of what would become today's shining cities for shelter, and stood together in defense of their home. Everyone had a place and purpose. These Loyalists marched for hearth and home, and won, again and again.

The irony was that Mightists only weakened with time, as their self-styled best wasted themselves against the tall walls and industry of the Loyalists. The Loyalists could expand, and expand they did. The Mightists spent lives of mastery in attempts to simply stand against the power of industry. The Loyalists fought only as necessary, backed by the full force of their arts, and spent the rest of their days furthering the art that protected them. The Mightists demanded and lost a strong few they could not replace; the Loyalists found ways to make every soldier stronger.

The bravest, smartest, and most loyal rabbits of the Loyalists were not thrown away like so much chaff but were instead elevated above their peers, and hence, by the tireless work of the Evolution fairy, the will of all life in the universe, the following generations were more like them.

It was in the middle of this process that the lunar seas were first formed.

The Mightists were desperate, and finally acknowledged the power of learning. Even then, it was too late, though they did not realize it. As a twisted final act, they planted flowers.

The first of the flowers bloomed beneath the eyes.

The second of the flowers bloomed in the mind.

The third of the flowers bloomed in the soul.

Then, the secret of the gods, so carefully carried forth by the Loyalists, the torch of the stars, was touched to the infested grounds, and the first Transient Suns blossomed, forging stone into glass.

Thus the lunar seas.


A historical artifact, to be sure, but the story is... lacking and troubling. Who published this, anyhow? -IR

My student, if you wish to know of the birth of gods, you must have the patience to truly look at their many birthplaces. -YE

I thought the Lunar Seas were natural formations; concentrations of volatile chemicals suggest as much. -IR

And yet they still taught otherwise, right before I left. Try to imagine the extraordinary mind that can imagine both to be simultaneously true. -YE

And what of the "Purification Beam"? At the Academy, there was a general consensus amoung students (supported by winks and nods of instructors) that it was an euphemism, but for what? Our culture is quite comfortable with death; why shy away from its accelerators? -IR

I believe you ask, "What sort of weapon was the Purification Beam?". That is a wrong question. -YE

In that case, what is the Purification Beam? -IR

It is a beam that purifies. -YE

In what sense? -IR

It removes impurity, and everything touched by it. It removes all contaminants from an individual. -YE

Then why is it allegedly so lethal? -IR

The Heresy of Multiplicity. -YE

Iced Fairy

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #92 on: October 07, 2013, 02:31:39 PM »

A little late but since no one pushed it, it's not an issue.  Please wait while judges are preparing.

Iced Fairy

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #93 on: October 10, 2013, 03:06:54 AM »
You would have thought that given the shorter entries it would have been easier to judge, but it never turns out that way.  After several readings and a forced tiebreaker though we have the results.  This WWC more then most was decided on the specific tastes of the judges.

Himiko - Your story flowed well, and had a distinct eastern vibe a lot of the others didn't.  However, the OCs and non standard plot combined with the limited word count kinda hurt you.  You probably would have been served well with another 1000 words.

Amra - You packed quite a bit into a very small number of words.  You could have worked on balancing the silence and the narration a little more, but it was a very interesting setup and solid follow-through.

Joveus - Your story was among the best from a technical standpoint, and while the 'missed birthday' shtick is somewhat overdone, you managed to convey Remilia and Patchouli very well.

However in the end there can be only one winner and the panel has decided:

TwilightsCall:  While Shizuha feeling left out is a common story, using Yuuka and the needs of the plants as a comforting voice is very unique.  Your take on the story impressed most of the judges and thus we proclaim you the winner!  Congratulations, and we hope to see more of you (and the runners up of course) in and around the library.

A round of applause for all out contestants, and a big thanks to all the judges who helped me.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2013, 05:21:31 PM by Iced Fairy »


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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #94 on: October 10, 2013, 04:48:52 AM »
cool! I was experimenting with how little I could write to get Danna's story across, and I'm glad it worked out enough for me to get a mention.
[23:02] <~Iced> You have sown the seeds of your own destruction Amra.
[23:20] <Stuffman> enjoy your personally crafted hell Amra


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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #95 on: October 10, 2013, 06:13:23 AM »
I must say, it's really refreshing to just write something and slap it down.  There's something great about being able to close a story, look back, and enjoy what you've done.  Thanks Iced for putting this show on for us, writing for it was a lot of fun!

And thanks as well to the other entrants.  I really enjoyed reading through everyone's stories, and I hope you guys had as much fun writing as I did!


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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #96 on: October 10, 2013, 08:04:12 AM »
Congrats on winning, TwilightsCall.  And yeah I had fun writing it.

But looking back, I wish I chose something else.  In my head it seemed like short story, but I ending up having to skip like the first two parts that explained some important stuff.  Like why Yuuka is palling around with the oni (she launched a failed coup d'etat against them and got befriended) or how Mima was slumming in a shrine that was new (Yukari is in the middle of bordering Gensokyo and pulled the shrine while Mima was in it.)  I should have used Aya as the informant and could have just used a generic Hakurei shrine maiden and just wrote out Yukari's part and it would've probably been better.  Also Kasen came off more assholish then I intended too.

Joveus Molai

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #97 on: October 10, 2013, 11:43:50 AM »
I must say, it's really refreshing to just write something and slap it down.  There's something great about being able to close a story, look back, and enjoy what you've done.  Thanks Iced for putting this show on for us, writing for it was a lot of fun!

And thanks as well to the other entrants.  I really enjoyed reading through everyone's stories, and I hope you guys had as much fun writing as I did!

Congrats, Twilight!  :dragonforce:

This was my first attempt at a Weekly Writing challenge, and I feel like I've learned a lot about writing just from entering. Thanks very much to the judges and fellow participants.  :)

Dead Princess Sakana

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Immortal Phoenix
« Reply #98 on: October 10, 2013, 05:16:48 PM »
Had a lot of fun reading and judging here, a well deserved win TwilightsCall. Everyone keep up the good work.  :D

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - The Morning After
« Reply #99 on: December 01, 2013, 05:00:50 AM »
Well! Holidays are coming up, and National Novel Writing Month's just wrapped up! I'd say the time's right for a Weekly Writing Contest.

You know, if it were longer than a week.

You always hear about the tea parties and such at the end of incidents. You always read about the festivities and celebrations around this time of year. But, there's something everyone always forgets about, or at least tries to avoid having anything to do with.

What about the cleanup?

Challenge Topic: The Morning After

The challenge this estimated time frame is to write what happens after a significant event, whether it be the resolution of an incident, the aftermath of a party, or the wake of a funeral. There'll be no word count limit or requirement, since this is the holiday season and several of you have just finished NaNoWriMo; it doesn't matter if you post a fifty word submission or a ten thousand word submission (though you should make sure those fifty words are exceptional, or be willing to be shot if you turn in ten thousand words).

Deadline is 00:01 EST, 31st December

This is kind of a mess but I haven't written anything properly in like five years.


Parsee woke up, and looked at the place her bridge used to be. A rowdy celestial had shown up and talked to the bridge princess for a while. The conversation quickly turned to how Parsee envied her for being able to go all the places she couldn't. The Celestial responded by shaking the earth until the bridge plunged into whatever abyss it hung over. At first Parsee was terrified. With little but the bridge for company for so long, she had considered that maybe she was the bridge, and she would die with it. She quickly learned that wasn't the case when whatever hold the structure had on her left. Parsee hated Tenshi for it more than she had ever hated anyone before.

She hated the pity the girl must have felt.
She hated how easily the bridge she hated so much was overcome.
She hated that she couldn't do it herself.
More than anything else, she hated that even though she could leave, there was nowhere she wanted to go.

Being tethered to a bridge doesn't grant you many things, but it does give a sort of structure. In a way, Parsee was queen of her own little world, even though it was a lousy world. But now it was gone, replaced with a terrifying vastness beyond her imagination. The city she always glared at, but never really thought as real, she could go there! Whatever kind of world was beyond the other side of the bridge, she could go there too! She could even pick some other direction, and just walk that way until she found something. Parsee envied her past self for not having to make these choices. Parsee thought maybe she'd just go to the city. She could see it, it didn't seem to be that far. But the second she thought she had made her decision, dark thoughts swirled in her head.

They'll look at me. I'm SURE they'll look at me. They'll see through me, they'll know I shouldn't be there.  They'll think 'You don't belong here, Parsee. Go back to your bridge, Parsee. We will never accept you, Parsee.' Even if they don't say it, they'll think it. They definitely will.

The ex-guardian didn't notice it, but she was breathing faster. Dizzy from hyperventilation, she sat down on the ground she always sat on. Even though she hated it, she knew she didn't want to leave, which just made her even more confused and angry. With her other emotions running so high, her jealousy compensated, and her hate seeped in and mixed with her fear.

So I can leave. So what? Where to? I don't belong anywhere else. Other people don't have this problem. They can just go wherever they want, and nobody's going to stare at them. They're lucky. They're all so lucky, to be born in a world they belong in. A world where they can smile, and laugh, and all sorts of other things! Why couldn't I have that? Why did I just get a bridge? DIDN'T I DESERVE MORE?

Parsee's emotions overflowing, she spilled them out the only way she could think to. Tears running down her face, she turned up to the ceiling and screamed. All the sad feelings she couldn't properly vocalize echoed throughout the underground. Gasping for breath, she wasn't aware her wail had an audience. A tall blonde woman with a red horn on her head approached Parsee.

"Hey, are you okay?" the puzzled woman asked.

Parsee's face was already red and wet with tears from sadness and anger, and this stranger's appearance added humiliation to those reasons. Not in a sound state of mind, the former bridge princess did something extremely foolish.

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" She punched the oni in the face, as hard as she could.

The retaliation was automatic. It didn't occur to Yuugi's arms to hold back. The force of the oni's punch lifted Parsee off the ground, flipped her over, and she landed face-first on the ground. The red-horned woman entered a fighting stance, but soon realized her opponent wasn't moving.

"Hey really, are you okay?" Yuugi asked again, sounding even more concerned.

No answer. Her opponent had been knocked out cold. She felt bad for her. She didn't intend to knock her unconscious.  Yuugi definitely didn't want to leave the girl passed out in the middle of nowhere, so she slung the tiny girl over her shoulder and walked home, giving Parsee the image of some animal the Oni had slain.


Hours later, Parsee awoke in a large bed. The feeling was so alien to her she might as well have woken up in a block of solid jello. It was all she could do to not scream in terror. She looked around the room, and saw walls. She felt better about the walls than the bed, but she still desperately wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else. Rolling out of the bed and landing on the floor (which also kind of unsettled her), the wall suddenly opened and the oni was there. Parsee was terrified in multiple ways.

"How-how did you do that?'

The confusion was contagious. "Do what?"

"Get in here!"

"...I opened the door?"

Parsee's face turned red in embarrassment and exclaimed, "I knew that!"

It was immediately obvious to both of them that her lie was not at all convincing. Parsee didn't say anything, afraid of the oni but even more afraid of being somewhere unfamiliar. After a short silence Yuugi asked with all the tact an oni could muster,"So, what's going on with you?"

Parsee didn't know why she answered the question. Maybe she just got talkative when she was scared. Maybe it was the strange environment. Or maybe she just wanted to say out loud how she was feeling. "I'm a bridge princess without a bridge. My whole life, I couldn't leave it, no matter how much I hated it. But now it's gone. I don't know what to do now," Parsee explained.

Yuugi shrugged. "Whatever you want, I guess."

Parsee didn't take that answer well. She stomped on the floor and exclaimed, "I DON'T WANT ANYTHING! I didn't think I could ever leave, and I've never been anywhere else. Even when I wanted to leave, there was nothing I wanted to do, no place I wanted to go. It was just 'something else'. Somewhere else." Parsee's shoulders sank, as if admitting defeat. "I have no dreams."

Yuugi couldn't relate. The oni always knew what she wanted. The idea of being lost or unsure was as alien to her as waking up in a bed was to Parsee. But Yuugi was undeterred. Even if she didn't know what Parsee was going through, she was still the kind of person who needed to say something, to do something.

"I don't really get this kind of complicated stuff. I guess you just do stuff until you find something you like?

"What stuff? Do what? There's too much to do! I'll never be able to decide!"

"Then you should just come with me and have a drink!" Yuugi instantly decided. In the end, this was usually what all of Yuugi's decisions came back to.

"I don't think my dream in life is to booze it up with you!" Parsee instantly retorted.

"But maybe it'll be fun, so why not do it anyways?"

Parsee was so stunned by the question, any actual explanation eluded her. She was sure there was a very good reason, but it felt like her mind shorted out under the stress of the day. Yuugi took Parsee's silence to mean that she had won over the short girl's objections. The oni grabbed the bridge princess' arm, and cheerfully shouted, "I'll get you something, then!"

Parsee was still shocked about where she was, who she was with, and what was happening. She was filled with so many questions, but one rose above the others. When Yuugi returned with a bottle, Parsee asked her, "Do you often drink with people you hardly know?"

"Yeah, all the time." Yuugi didn't even think about it before answering.

"Must be nice... I'm jealous."

Parsee then drank in silence. Yuugi spoke up every so often to say something about what they were drinking, but Parsee never replied. Soon the bottle was empty. Yuugi drank most of it, but Parsee still had quite a lot. Certainly more than someone who hasn't drank before should have. Parsee defied the oni's expectations. She was not a fun or happy drunk. A very intoxicated Parsee turned to Yuugi and venomously declared, "I think I hate you. So damn carefree."

The oni shrugged and said "Sorry." She didn't sound the least bit sorry.

"What did you do to deserve so much more happiness than me?"

"I guess I did what I wanted, and you didn't."

"I couldn't do anything chained to that damn bridge."

"Well, it's gone now. You can start catching up."

"So what if it's gone? The damage has been done. I'll never catch up. I'll never be happy."

Yuugi let out a deep sigh, realizing her drinking idea was a failure. "You're drunk. Go to sleep. Tomorrow will be better."

"Why would you think that? What do you even care, anyways? I'm just a girl that punched you in the face."

There was a slight pause. "We've met before, Parsee." Yuugi sounded a little tired, and maybe a little frustrated.

No amount of alcohol could make her miss that. The bitterness in her voice quickly changed to confusion, and a little bit of desperation. "What? That can't be right. I would've remembered. Why can't I remember you, then?"

"I don't know."

The gears spinning in Parsee's head couldn't keep up with the state of her body. She had more to say. She had a lot more to say to this... oni woman. She had a lot more she needed to know. But her voice did not come out. Shortly after, her eyes did not stay open. And, finally, her body did not stay upright. Yuugi retrieved a blanket from her room and tossed it over Parsee's sprawled form. Before Yuugi retired to her room for the night, she turned to the sleeping girl on the floor.

"Maybe I'm not that good at this. Well, goodnight anyways. Maybe you'll have a nice dream."

Ten days left!
« Last Edit: December 27, 2013, 03:21:56 PM by Inubasectri »


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Haha, uh, here it is

The faint light under the closet door made it easy to find the exit.  The door was stuck when she tried pushing on it, so she just punched it until it unstuck.  The hallway was unlit, not as light out as it should have been that morning.  It was probably overcast outside.  A young woman with long black hair and a red horn poked her head out of the closet and looked around.  She was alone. 

She decided to just leave the closet, because she couldn?t remember what she was doing in there in the first place.  There was a party, and her friends insisted she come.  There had been a lot of people, but it was very quiet now.  She wondered if they had all left already.  In that case, she should get going, too.

On the way out of the house, she passed by the kitchen and happened upon some empty bottles.  She picked one up and read the label.  That explained why she didn?t feel hung over.  Human Village alcohol was too weak.

While she was looking at one of these bottles, she became aware of a retching sound, coming from somewhere else in the house.  Leaving the kitchen, she followed the sound until it led her to the bathroom.  Keeping quiet, she looked through the door that was ajar.

The bathroom had one occupant, a girl clutching the sides of the toilet as she vomited into it.  Her sleeves were missing, and her hair ribbon was uneven.  The door creaked, and she was able to pause long enough to tilt her head to the side.

?Hah?hah?Konngara?? Reimu called out in a weak voice.  Konngara opened the door the rest of the way and stepped inside.

?Urgh??  Reimu?s next words were interrupted as she started to dry heave.  Konngara reached out and awkwardly patted her on the back.

?I?I think I ate something bad at that party last night?? Reimu moaned.  ?I feel terrible?c-can you get me medicine???

Konngara nodded.

?Is that a yes??  Evidently, Reimu didn?t see this gesture.  Konngara didn?t say anything.

??Just hurry up,? Reimu said, and leaned against the toilet like it was a shoulder to cry on.  Konngara left her alone.

Along the way, she passed by Suika, who was asleep and cuddled in a pillow pile.  She had a look of discontent on her face, but she had so many cushions around her that it wouldn?t hurt to take one.  Konngara took one from the pile and backtracked to the bathroom, where she handed it off to Reimu.

?Th-thanks.?  Reimu took the pillow and dragged it to her side.

It took a lot of rummaging through the cupboards, but she finally found something she could take back: a dark bottle labeled as stomach medicine.

When Konngara returned to the bathroom with the medicine, she found Reimu lying on her stomach with her face in the pillow.  Kneeling down and nudging the ill girl?s shoulder resulted in a low-pitched cry.

?Leave me here to die,? said Reimu.  The sound of the medicine bottle clinking against the floor, however, made her look up.

?Oh, thanks.?  Reimu labored to sit up, and took the medicine in her hands.  She didn?t even bother measuring it out, opting to sip straight from the bottle.  Konngara watched on in awe, until she was interrupted by Suika throwing open the door.

?Get outta the way!? she half-shouted, cupping a hand over her mouth.  Two seconds later, Konngara was fleeing into the hallway with a very angry Reimu under her arm.  In their haste to get out, some of the medicine had been spilt and got on Reimu?s dress.

They were locked out of the bathroom now, but at least Reimu wasn?t throwing up anymore.  Instead, she had assumed a fetal position on the floor and clutched the bottle in her hands.  She breathed a heavy sigh and let her eyelids droop.  Konngara, who was sitting against the wall, was starting to wonder if she should move Reimu to an actual bed when she saw the black-white round a corner.

Marisa staggered down the hall with her hand over her stomach, and Konngara watched her try and fail to open the bathroom door.  She continued to watch as Marisa let out a cry of defeat and slid to the floor.  Reimu, eyes still closed, held out the medicine bottle.

?I think I ate something bad at that party last night,? Marisa groused.

That?s what she said, Konngara yelled internally, barely resisting the urge to say this out loud.

?Mhm,? was Reimu?s response.

?Who?s in the bathroom??


?We?ll never be free.?

?You?re not making any sense.  I think that tsurube-otoshi is still here, so if you gotta throw up just do it in her bucket.?

Marisa got to her feet.  ?Reimu, you are a terrible person.  I?ll be right back.?

A few moments passed, with background music provided by Suika throwing up.  The little oni emerged from the bathroom before Marisa returned, looking on the verge of tears.  Mere seconds later, loud screaming from Marisa and an unidentified person erupted from the backyard.  Suika flopped onto Konngara?s lap.

?Wahh, I?m never eating artichoke dip again,? she informed Konngara, who was pushing her horns out of her face.  The screaming outside had turned into crying from both parties.  Konngara frowned at Suika.

?I can sleep whereeeever I want,? Suika said, despite the fact that the other hadn?t said anything.  However, this didn?t stop her from being dragged down the hall and deposited back into the pillow pile.

Doing the same with Reimu proved to be impossible, as she was keen on falling asleep right in the middle of the hallway.  Konngara decided not to bother her, and went back to the bedroom to find a blanket for her.

???m here, sorry I?m late??

?That?s fine.  You have a good lead??

?Yes.  The culprit should be in this shrine.?

There were more people here now.  Konngara took her time getting the blanket, folding it up, and walking back out into the hall.  On the way, she passed a small group of youkai.  The one at the head of the group, a mouse youkai with dowsing rods, hailed her as she passed.

?Is that her?!? snarled one of the youkai, a wolf girl with unusually long fingernails.

?No, no, no,? said the mouse.  ?You there!  Have you seen an amanojaku here??

Konngara shook her head.

?We?ll keep going,? the mouse said.  Konngara stood aside to let them pass, and returned to where Reimu was sleeping.  As she draped the blanket over her, she heard yet another commotion coming from out back.

?AH!  This is all your fault, get over here!?

?What?s that?  I didn?t hear you??

?Mountain Echo ? Long-range echo!?

Feeling hungry, Konngara went into the kitchen and looked around at the piles of dishes on the counter and in the sink, wondering if any of them were clean enough for her to use.  Outside, a dull thud rocked the bottles on the counter.

?I?m sorry, but she has such a gentle personality that if she attacks you, then you really had it coming??

?I?m not involved!  I?m not involved!?

The back door slid open, and Marisa ran through the kitchen and into the hall.  A disgruntled young girl followed, carrying a bucket with her.  Konngara ignored them and cracked some eggs over a pot on the stove.

As she was whisking the eggs, she was alerted to the sound of Reimu shuffling into the kitchen.  She put the medicine bottle on the nearest flat surface and wandered over to the stove with the blanket around her.  Konngara shook her head and shooed her away.  Reimu slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, scowling at a bowl containing the remains of some sort of dip.

Outside, danmaku raged on like a summer rainstorm.  Given how cloudy it looked outside, the danmaku could have passed for such if it looked like water.  Konngara took some bread and made a sandwich out of the scrambled eggs she had just finished, and took a seat at the table.  Now that the stove was open, Reimu returned to it and dumped the rest of the eggs onto another plate.

?Take that!?


?Don?t run away!?

Whatever spellcard was in effect had subsided, and the duel outside had dissolved into a fist-fight.  One of the girls who was with the mouse youkai burst into the room, hanging onto the doorway to steady herself.

?One, two?who else is here?? she asked.

?Suika and Marisa, I think?? Reimu said.  Scrambled eggs weren?t exactly what came to mind at the thought of quelling an upset stomach, but she was starting to look more alive.

?Go get them.  Everyone outside.?  The girl left the room.

Reimu took her plate with her into the hall, returning within minutes with the other people in the house.  Suika had pillows stuffed into her shirt and held them in her arms, still half-asleep.  Marisa was still being followed by the bucket girl, most likely the tsurube-otoshi Reimu mentioned.

Outside, it was windy and cool.  There was the mouse youkai?s party, and the others from the shrine, and Konngara didn?t care to identify anyone else.  She sat on the back porch and observed the following exchange:

?This amanojaku poisoned the artichoke dip,? someone announced.  This was followed by a crescending ?ohhHHHHhh? throughout the crowd, and many obscenities.

?But it was so good!?

?I had like a ton of that stuff.?

?I?m gonna exterminate you.?

?%^&*&^% and then ^&^%#@@*)(@!@# fuck you!?

Suika sauntered over to Konngara, missing the pillows and looking concerned.  ?Hey, did you have any of the artichoke dip??

?Yeah, come to think of it, you look perfectly fine,? croaked Reimu.  When Konngara shook her head, she frowned.

?What?!  No fair!  Why?? she cried.  In the background, the wolf youkai was punching the aforementioned amanojaku in the face.

?Because I fucking hate artichoke dip,? Konngara said.

?Fair enough,? Suika said with a shrug.  She jerked her thumb over her shoulder.  ?Looks like another danmaku fight?s building up.  Wanna join in??

Konngara shook her head.  It was time she headed home.  With a wave to the others, she disappeared into the forest and towards the entrance to the Underground.

☆ Check my profile for links to my sites! ☆
[21:12] <OneLoveOnePurvis> *Black as hell and bitter as love. That is coffee.*
[17:42] <Amra> Himiko's one of the people that's really cute but sometimes art shifts into like hard jojo-style
[17:42] <Amra> as she does something out of character


  • Shipper On Board
Finally wrote something! Not 100% sure about all the shrine building names and terminologies so apologies if I got some of it wrong. Also I wouldn't call this NSFW but there are sex jokes and drug references. Onwards!

The Hangover

Reimu had experienced many hangovers in her long, underage drinking career, but none had been quite as dramatic as this one. Her head throbbed as though a hundred little moon rabbits were pounding at it, eager to serve up some tasty brain mochi to their masters, and her mouth tasted like bile and bad sake. She groaned, trying to ignore the pain in her stomach that told her she?d thrown up too many times, and gingerly opened her eyes.

That?s odd. She hadn?t seen her shrine from this angle before. And damn did the sunlight hurt this morning. Days like this made her wish there was some sake youkai who went around making people?s hangovers worse, and giving them a good beating up would make her headache disappear. And why was it so hard to move her arms around? Her sleeves and lower half felt heavy, and her every movement seemed to make an odd sloshing sound.

Oh right, thought Reimu, I?m sitting in the pond, aren?t I?

Indeed, the turtles were all staring at her, judging her. Reimu glared back at them, and slowly oozed her way out of the pond. She made a mental note to clean it more often; the gunk had turned her robes green. She wasted no time wringing out her sleeves, trying half heartedly to remember what happened last night.

There?d been a party, of course. The usual suspects had gathered at the shrine and much drinking and chatting had occurred. Well, she assumed it did, it was weirdly hard to remember. She could recall Kasen and Yuyuko holding the sake they?d each brought. Then Kasen had to leave early, and the image of Suika mixing all the booze into one giant punch bowl came to mind. Then the rest was one big grainy blur.

She stumbled to her feet, trying not to stagger as she made her way to the shrine building. Hopefully a few stragglers were still sprawled around the grounds, ready to be goaded into helping clear up all the mess. The shrine looked okay from the back, but Reimu could already imagine the horrors that awaited her at the front. She slid the back door open and stepped inside, hoping for some water (and maybe some of that hangover cure Yukari bought for her birthday) but instead finding her table pushed aside and her futon rolled out.

And it was occupied.

?Hey, what do you think you?re doing?? She kicked it, a sudden squeal coming from the sheets. ?Get out of my bed!?

A pause. Then, a pair of horns poked out from the covers. Followed by?

Reimu?s stomach hurt. There were two people inside. Two naked people. Suika was already waving at her, a gaudy grin on her face, and her partner was desperately trying to cover herself up.

?Hey Reimu. You missed out after falling in the pond.? She paused to take a swig from her bottle. ?Glad you didn?t drown and all.?

?P-Please don?t tell Lord Tenma!? Her partner had turned bright red, and Reimu finally recognised her as the wolf tengu from Youkai Mountain. ?I just, it just, I mean-!?

?Wanna join in?? Suika patted the futon and made a face that Reimu assumed was some drunken attempt to look seductive. ?I could teach you a few things.?

?Get out get out get out!?

A few minutes and much kicking later, the two intruders were dislodged. Momiji ran around the room trying to collect her clothes as fast as possible, while Suika just relaxed and gazed at the ceiling in all her nakedness. ?Oh right, we should let her down at some point.?

Reimu looked up, and almost fell backwards. There was Youmu sobbing quietly, pinned to her ceiling by several silver knives jabbed through her clothes. Even the white blob had its tail stuck to one of the support beams.

?Was waiting for you to mention her, Momiji, but I guess you didn?t mind.? Suika smiled, and Reimu began to seriously consider banning parties at her shrine for life. Or at least banning Suika.

Those knives weren?t going to make a permanent mark on the ceiling, were they?

?Please,? whispered Youmu, ?let me down? no more??

Reimu stumbled onto the porch and tossed the empty hangover cure bottle aside, half afraid of the other horrors awaiting her. The front of the shrine was just as bad as she feared ? vomit-stained picnic sheets, empty drinks everywhere, bits of half eaten food and paper lantern scraps blooming through the grass like weeds. Thankfully there was no one else around, or not so thankfully, as cleaning all this up might take all day and all night. Lazy bums.

Where was Marisa anyway? Well, it wasn?t unusual for her to be gone before morning, but Reimu could vaguely remember her chugging down the booze straight out of the punch bowl. Hopefully she hadn?t died of liver failure or anything.

?Morning,? said a voice behind her. Reimu winched from the sudden pain rushing to her sore head, and looked over her shoulder to find Aya.

Crap. A journalist.

?I?m sorry but the Hakurei Shrine isn?t accepting any newspaper subscriptions at this time,? said Reimu automatically, trying to turn around and head back into the shrine building as naturally as possible. But Aya had already grabbed her ponytail, and ow that was not good for her hangover.

?Not that, I?m here for an interview.? Aya gave a winning smile. ?Your party last night was such a? success that I?m dedicating a full eight pages to it in my next issue. So I need an interview from the host.?

Bugger off, was what Reimu wanted to say, but all that came out was ??Eight pages??

?And a full colour spread! I just finished developing the pictures this morning.? Aya reached into her pocket and pulled out a bundle of photographs. Reimu?s blood ran cold. ?Want to have a look??

Reimu quickly considered her options. One, danmaku time. Two, fly off to Youkai Mountain, find Aya?s house and destroy the negatives. Three, cry.

?Spirit Sign: Fantasy Seal ?Concentrate-!? Well, option one had never failed her yet. Even with a hangover a few spell cards wouldn?t be a problem.

?Oh?? But Aya just smiled, weaving through the homing bullets as they hissed passed her. ?Come on, see it as a chance to clear your name. You haven?t even seen them yet.?

?If I have to clear my name then I don?t want to see them!? Reimu gritted her teeth, and her head pounded harder and harder the closer the spell card got to timing out. ?Just give me the negatives and I?ll make a nice bonfire.?

?Yeah right.? And the spell card cracked. Reimu snarled, wondering which one to pick next, but Aya was suddenly right in front of her. ?Come on, just take a look.?

The shrine maiden paused, suddenly furious, but curiosity won over, and her headache wasn?t getting any better. ?Fine.? She snatched the photos out of her hand and glanced over them. ?Wait, what am I doing on top of my donations box??

?Oh, Sanae taught everyone a fashionable dance from the outside world,? explained Aya. ?I believe it was called? tweeking??

?Did you need to zoom in on my bum like that??

?You wouldn?t stop shoving it in my face, though I?m told that?s all a part of the dance.? Aya sighed, and pointed at the next photo. ?Everyone lost interest after the gap youkai tried it.?

Now that was an image Reimu could?ve lived without. ??What?s this one then? Is that the maid from the mansion??

?Yes, it seems the gardener from Hakugyokurou got over-excited and decided to stick her arms down her front.? Aya grinned this time. ?She produced some? odd squishy objects. I?ve already interviewed the Kourindou shopkeeper on their true identity, and he says they?re ?chicken fillers? or something. How fearsome.?

?Oh.? Well that explains how Youmu got pinned to the ceiling. ?Is that all of them??

?Oh no, I?ve got plenty more back on the mountain. Now how about that interview? Would you say the party was a huge- oh.?

Aya?s eyes snapped to the shrine building. Reimu turned around, and saw a semi-clothed Momiji hopping out the door. The wolf tengu?s complexion turned an odd blue colour, and the two of them stared at each other until Suika came strolling out, whistling.

?Here?s your underpants,? she said, tossing a frilly pair of knickers onto Momiji?s head. ?Oh hi, Aya. Hope you didn?t mind me borrowing your girlfriend for the night.?

?She?s not my girlfriend,? said Aya, her voice cold. ?And what did you borrow her for last night exactly??

Reimu decided to take this opportunity to leave. Maybe she?d go visit Marisa for once, or pester Rinnosuke for a bit, or even better, just go somewhere quiet and sleep, before her head exploded.

Meanwhile, at Alice?s house.

?Marisa, how long are you going to stay here??

?Until my clothes stop shrinking!? Marisa was writhing around on the rug in front of the fireplace. ?Gah, they?re going to eat me, they?re going to eat me alive!?

Alice sighed and sipped her tea. She?d told Marisa not to mix hallucinogenic mushrooms with that ultra strong booze last night, and now her friend was paying the price for not listening. ?Well, just don?t make a mess.?

?Alice, help!?

« Last Edit: December 30, 2013, 09:50:50 PM by hungrybookworm »


Results will be announced January 7th, since there'll be need to recover from tomorrow night.

Time for judgment:

Schwer-Muta: You have solid writing skills, but your narrative seemed to be unintentionally confusing and incomplete. Your story was unique among the three entries in that it wasn't about a party, but it didn't really seem to have a focus as to what exactly the aftermath of the destruction of Parsee's bridge was. The story also just kind of stops as opposed to ending. I would like to see a rewrite and continuation of this: the connection between Parsee and the bridge has been commented on a lot, but few have explored the ramifications of the bridge being destroyed and how Parsee would be affected.

Hungrybookworm: You also have solid skills in writing, and your story is complete and self-contained. The major faults in your story are that it relies on exposition from characters to complete the story (show, don't tell), and the fact that you included "sexual content and drug references" half-heartedly. The first is kind of a lazy way to complete a story, especially when the beginning of the story was interesting and amusing with how Reimu was trying to piece together what had happened. As for the drug and sexual references, if you're going to feature drugs and sex factor in a story, either swing for the fences or change the idea: shock factor doesn't work as well when there's barely any juice in the shock.

Also, "tweeking" doesn't mean what you think it means, if Google serves me right. Your description of the act does clarify what you thought it meant, but you still need to be correct in word usage, even if it's slang and especially if the punch line involves Marisa tripping out on drugs.

By process of elimination, that means that this month's winner is:

Himiko: Of the three stories yours was the most solid. The imagery of Konngara being the sole point of calm among the storm of heavily sick and hung-over party goers and an ongoing, mostly unseen mini-incident is highly amusing. However, that doesn't mean your story was a shoo-in for the winner: your ending stumbled very hard with the lackluster conclusion and the sudden vulgarity, which was out of character with Konngara and your own writing style. If lead up to properly or placed carefully in the scene, sudden out-of-characterness can be very effective, but it wasn't properly utilized in this case.

Congratulations to all contestants this time around: despite the criticism, all three of you have written stories that were enjoyable, and I hope to see more from all three of you in the future. There are currently no plans to conduct another WWC at this time, so thank you for your entries!

The idea was that even though the bridge is gone, she has no idea what to do with her new-found freedom and still feels just as stuck. Once I settled on that reaction, I eventually realized that I couldn't fix that problem in the length of story that I planned to write. So I just stopped at the end of the night. I felt if I continued after that I would be committing to at least doubling the length of what I had, and at that point it'd balloon to a point where I couldn't post it in this thread. So it came out kind of half-assed, really.

Honestly I should have scrapped it, but I scrap everything. I wanted to post something.


  • Shipper On Board
Congrats to Himiko for winning! And thank you Inubasectri for writing such a long critique of my silly booze up story (seriously I love concrit). Might as well address a few of the things you brought up.

Firstly, don't worry, I do know what twerking actually is and how it's spelt. I just figured it'd be funny if Aya said it wrong, what with it being this wacky thing from the outside world and Aya's journalism not always being spot on. I assumed her follow up comment where she says 'chicken fillers' instead of 'chicken fillets' would make it obvious it was her making the mistake but I guess I should've maybe made it more obvious or just cut the joke (or chosen something less obscure than slang for bra pads...)

Secondly about the sex and drugs references... I'm sorry if I upset anyone by including them. I wasn't aiming to shock anyone or anything. This is going to sound quite strange, but we have a really, really, really bad binge drinking culture where I'm from, so people throwing up everywhere, mixing drugs and doing strangers in other people's beds is actually not all that unusual, to the point where most people expect it (from other people) when going to a house party or a night out (though ofc the clubs will kick you out if you're caught doing any of that, as some of my friends learnt the hard way).  Rereading my fic from an outsider's perspecive, I can see why those elements might seem like I was going for shock value rather than just a 'oh man, the things we get up to when we get drunk...' slapstick story, and why they might seem halfhearted when they're presented the way I wrote them. I think I definitely learnt something from this. (Also the best advice my mother ever gave me was 'if you're drinking and you start going blind, it's time to start throwing up'. It's never failed me yet.)

I'm a little worried about the 'shock factor' thing actually. There's more stuff written on my hard drive with sex, drugs, some adult themes... though they have a more serious tone and I age everyone up (well, the humans) if things get a bit extreme. I guess I'm worried people will think I'm just trying to shock rather than do a darker, more adult touhou story. If I work on my storytelling technique a bit more I might avoid that naturally, but I wonder if the story being a comedy didn't help it? Should I mark them as NSFW in the future just to be safe too?

(Oh right, my first draft of this had Reimu waking up with a hangover at the Moriya shrine wearing Sanae's clothes. She'd then follow a trail of her own clothes over to the Hakurei shrine, and discover Sanae... wearing Marisa's clothes. Then Marisa would show up totally naked riding on Kasen's Tiger. Yeah, I dunno what I was thinking either.)

Tamashii Kanjou

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - Too Cool for School
« Reply #108 on: September 08, 2014, 11:19:38 PM »
You thought it was a silly bump for no reason...


Here I am, invading parts of MotK I normally wouldn't. And why, you ask? Because I aim to kick a gear or two into the minds of those who have been writing... or taking breaks... or just lurking. You get the idea : I am to get a special writing session up and running! (And also so WWC doesn't sit here gathering cobwebs for a whole year.)

So what really brings me here? Well... today is the day of silly songs, and old consoles. A day of frozen frogs, and black holes. A day of, oh I think you get it by now~

In the blue corner, we have the impressive non-human; whose mind is phenomenal, and her very ability can crush puny humans into a pile of tears and despair...

And in the lighter blue corner, we have Cirno~ :3

For those who may remember, 3 years ago, I started a thread celebrating Cirno Day (09/09) as was the norm. A certain someone decided to shove the Dreamcast into the thread; and Yuyuko entered the fray. The next year (that's 2012), I ran a thing where Cirno & Yuyuko had a bit of a 'fight.' Now the issue here was not just the fact they didn't get along... but also because it was limited to those in the Idiot Hierarchy.

Now, present day, 2 years after all that, it's time to step things up a bit. It's time to lend a hand...


The aim here is simple. Create a story featuring Cirno AND Yuyuko. Sounds easy enough? Not quite. The goal is to have them working together in one way or another. The partnership can be short-lived, or could go through the entire story. It could be Yuyuko pushing the fairy's buttons, or could be Cirno 'forcing' Yuyuko to do something. Want a third party to get the two doing something or tell them off? Go for it. But whatever happens, they must attempt to do something together at some point.

But wait! I have another rule. You are allowed to dip into alternate settings (as in, genres outside of the official Touhou-verse); but the characters must keep their defining personalities, etc. You know, just in case you want to do something outside of Gensokyo. Speaking of which, current Touhou Fanon settings (and characters, for that matter) can be used in this if your name is, for example, Sango (hehe); but do remember that it does need to focus on Cirno & Yuyuko just as much~

In short : Cirno & Yuyuko find themselves working together for whatever reason. But what will it be about it? And will this 'friendship' even last the story? {Minimum word count : 1,000. No real maximum limit; just please keep it limited to a single post.}

This contest will run till the 16th of September! If enough people enter, maybe it can spark a bit of a thing again. Enter if you can; and remember : have fun~ XD

And Happy ⑨ Day, you silly ghosts~