Isn't Queen's balde that really weird show where a bunch of chicks in skimpy outfits shoot magic breast milk at eachother?
As much as I hate myself for this, I feel like I have to address this.
Queen's Blade is part of a table-top RPG called Lost Worlds. The character books are infamous for having these girls with generic or outlandish designs in incredibly suggestive positions, usually without showing any nudity whatsoever. The series pretty much prides itself on these designs, which range from Echidna, the serpent woman who actually has a snake for panties, to Melona, a shape-shifting rabbit girl that uses goo-like hands to cover her breasts, to Tomoe, a rather generic shrine maiden. For reasons beyond my comprehension, the series gained enough popularity to warrant multiple series of character books and even an expansion pack known as Queen's Blade Rebellion, which features new characters and
re-releases of
older ones. There is a side series known as Queen's Gate which uses licensed characters from other companies, including
Dizzy from Guilty Gear X,
Alice from Nitro+, and even
Ink Nijihara from Moetan.
HobbyJapan's merchandising of this series is really second-to-none. I have to give credit where credit is due, because despite the fact that these characters are either
incredibly unspectacular in design or
disgustingly offensive, they've somehow managed to hit the perfect niche, and their books and figures sell incredibly well. Popularity of the series became so great that they were finally able to get an anime series based on the Queen's Blade novels.
The anime series, which is currently on its second season, is some of the most poorly-written drivel I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing. The entire point of the series is that there is a tournament known as Queen's Blade, and the winner of the tournament becomes the "Queen". I assume this title is literal, because at least one character claims that she wishes to win so she can change the country for the better. Everyone appears to have a different reason for fighting: some are forced, some are trying to better themselves, some are arrogant and power-hungry, and some are searching for the answer to a mystery they've questioned all their lives. The first season ignores this entirely in favor of poor character introductions and a continuity that blows my mind (throughout the first season, Reina, the main character of the series, falls down a cliff into a river, which causes her to wash up in the desert, after which she is washed down another river that came out of a pyramid, which leads her to a forest; yeah, think about that). The only real "villians" that we have are the trio of Airi, Menace, and Melona, who are working for an entity known as the "Swamp Witch," and their mission is to, for whatever reason, end Queen's Blade forever. By the end of season 1, Melona has turned into a colossus, and Nanael and Reina have to stab its weak point for massive damage, which destroys her and triggers the "Hey, it's the actual villian" cutscene. It's really one of the most unwatchable, pointless shows I've ever seen in my life, and I'm currently watching Kampfer and the second season of Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu.
The second season of the series focuses entirely on the Queen's Blade tournament, which is being manipulated by the current Queen Aldra, who has a demonic eye patch with the ability to encase people in yellow crystals. She is incredibly powerful, and the contestants must fight one another in a series of battles in random locales in order for a single individual to finally face Aldra for the title of Queen. This part of the series actually manages to be interesting, though still incredibly appalling in its own ways. Rather than putting so much attention on these characters that you shouldn't care about, they just take them and make them fight, turning the series from an incredibly stupid fantasy series to an average, generic fantasy fighter that manages to be watchable. It's surprising that they even seem to cut down on the nudity and perverse situations to put more emphasis on the story they've tried so hard to set up. The ecchi aspect of the series is definitely still there (often in full-force, sometimes to the point of facepalm-worthy idiocy), but it's definitely toned-down from the first season. This includes Nanael, the angel known for getting a thick, "angelic" milk all over herself in suggestive ways, as she can no longer spill any or face real consequences, as it's actually the source of her power, and losing any manages to weaken her. Yes, it's stupid, and I'm not even going to try and defend it.
I know more about this series than any individual should, and I'm one of the biggest anti-Queen's Blade proponents you will ever meet, which made the announcement on my birthday that both seasons had been licensed for a Summer 2010 US release and would be receiving dubs all that more of a terrible joke that proves that the gods above have forsaken me and have one of the most devilish senses of humor in the cosmos. Welcome to my world.
