Dr Purvis' Mobile Clinic is in town!

[Slaves]

i can't seem to find out where my Jibablocha gland is. how can i tell if it has cancer?

[Hello Purvis]

Doctor, doctor, gimme the news!

I got a bad case of lovin' you!

I have no pills for this. Perhaps a cold shower? I'll send you my bill.

Your Horoscope is: RULE # 70 : A male student @ 61 C3 = or be @ 61^LOG10(61) C4 = 1,539 C4 or score of 1,539 C4 = score of 1,539 on the SAT, but this rule only works for high scores, and doesn?t work well for low scores, unless for low scores SAT is inflated.

How much do I actually have to pay you know?

That you have to ask suggests you will be happier and healthier not knowing right now.

Would it be just or right to demand Mode post pictures of herself crossdressing?

Average your age and her age together, then subtract the result from your age. If the result is a positive number, compare it to equivalent age of a human being. If we expect a human of that age to be able to walk, talk, and use the bathroom on its own, then yes. Otherwise, no. I'll append this to your bill.

i can't seem to find out where my Jibablocha gland is. how can i tell if it has cancer?

What color is your breath?

[Slaves]

What color is your breath?

bright crimson

[Easy Mode]

Would it be just or right to demand Mode post pictures of herself crossdressing?

wait wut

[helvetica]

It's an old mark 2 unfortunately.

[Hello Purvis]

bright crimson

You do not have cancer of the Jibablocha gland. However, you are at high risk for potassium poisoning. Please alter your diet to cut your potassium intake by 3/5ths for a couple weeks.

It's an old mark 2 unfortunately.

I would recommend updating to a mark IV for ease of servicing. The mark V is experimental, and requires you to be part of the correct clan, so I would not consider that unless you do not mind having difficulty in getting new parts. But to address your problem, are you certain that your missiles are Artemis compatible?

[E-Nazrin]

Would it be just or right to demand Mode post pictures of herself crossdressing?

wait wut

You heard me, woman.

[helvetica]

I'm fairly sure as I'm able to gain lock just unable to maintain it once I fire.

[Easy Mode]

Would it be just or right to demand Mode post pictures of herself crossdressing?

wait wut

You heard me, woman.

>:


TSO, TSO TASUKETE TSO

[Hello Purvis]

I'm fairly sure as I'm able to gain lock just unable to maintain it once I fire.

Hmm. This is a serious affair. Who produced this particular fire control system? In particular, are you allied with them or merely neutral?

[helvetica]

Salvaged actually.  Got it off of a Cyclops wreck a few months ago.

[Hello Purvis]

Salvaged actually.  Got it off of a Cyclops wreck a few months ago.

Hmmm. Parts of it might have been shorted out, then. Additionally, what kinds of missiles have you experienced this problem with?

[Pesco]

It's another crappy Sunday

[helvetica]

Mostly stock ammunition from Longbow.  I stopped jury-rigging my missiles a long time ago.

[Hello Purvis]

Mostly stock ammunition from Longbow.  I stopped jury-rigging my missiles a long time ago.

Hmmm. I am going to presume you mean StarCorps Industries, who produce the Longbow units. My recommendation would be to make certain the software has correctly integrated with your mech's operating system. If this produces no results, I would check the unit itself for physical damage. A broken connection might have occurred during or after the salvaging process, particularly as a result of battle damage. An electric surge from damage done to another part may well have had an effect, too. Finally, if that turns up nothing, I would to try to find a different brand of long range missile, and see if the problem continues from there. It may just be some kind of bug between the older software and newer munitions. You may wish to try that before examining for physical damage, if you can obtain one cheaply. I'll send you my bill.

You Horoscope is: RULE # 49 : Average Mind, Body & Soul { AMBS } = (C2^(1/2)) , where C2 is @ DP; so, @ 64 C2 DP or default psyche, he has an AMBS @ 8, assuming an average guy @ 4 Mind, Body, & Soul or @ 4 AMBS is @ 16 C2 default psyche. So, Klaw @ 64 C2 DP = @ 8 AMBS.

[♛ Apher-Forte]

Dude, I think I have a hangover, and my left nut feels heavier than the right, spiky too, what happened and how do I fix this?

[Hello Purvis]

Dude, I think I have a hangover, and my left nut feels heavier than the right, spiky too, what happened and how do I fix this?

You have Aprax Syndrome and comorbid case of Pabst Poisoning. Aprax Syndrome results in one testicle becoming more dense due to an imbalance in the iron in one's blood; named from the Coptic Saint Aprax who famously had this problem. Typically, it is the testicle opposite of one's dominant hand. Pabst Poisoning is a particular form of hangover resulting in overindulgence in Pabst Blue Ribbon upon those with a certain genetic predisposition, resulting in needle-like protrusions coming from the skin as your bloodstream tries to eject the toxins within that brand of drink. In your case, due to your Aprax Syndrome, it focused around your afflicted testicle. To deal with this problem, take in lots of vitamin D. As for the spikes, I recommend a nail clipper and a local. I'll send you my bill.

Your horoscope is: RULE # 119 : # of years of Presidency for the or a or any (US) President = [((his C2 DP) / 10)^2]. So, a man is @ 28.28 C2 DP wanting to be President can have the Presidency for [((28.28) / 10)^2] = (2.828^2) = 8 years; 1 term = 20 C2 DP. Then, if President be @ 24.495 C2 DP, where 6 of his 8 year Presidency would be scandal-free, and his remaining 2 years would be filled with scandal(s). If his daughter is @ 18.217 COM, her father would @ C3 DP = [COM*(pi +1)] = 23.456789 C2 DP or dp. If you put a politician @ IQ of 110 which would be @ 11 C1 DP = 12.148 C2 DP = 15 C3 DP <but, I could be wrong in my estimate> , and if he were elected President, his Presidency would last for only 1.44 year.

[E-Nazrin]

OH MY GOD MY PANCREAS IS ON FIRE

[Hello Purvis]

OH MY GOD MY PANCREAS IS ON FIRE

Quickly, drink this fire extinguisher. I'll append this to my bill.

[Pako]

I accidentliy drunk some fluorosulfuric acid, what should I do?

[Hello Purvis]

I accidentliy drunk some fluorosulfuric acid, what should I do?

First, quickly pay my previous bills.

[Pako]

I accidentliy drunk some fluorosulfuric acid, what should I do?

First, quickly pay my previous bills.

*Pays bills with ⑨ Tacos^TM.*

[Hello Purvis]

*Pays bills with ⑨ Tacos^TM.*

These are full of sand.

[Pako]

*Pays bills with ⑨ Tacos^TM.*

These are full of sand.

But they are ⑨ Tacos^TM, be happy I didn't pay in peanuts.
The acid is burning through my throat, that ain't a pleasant feeling.

[Helepolis]

Docter, lately. . . I am not quite feeling the fever to continue tweaking my uwabami afro spellcards.

[Hello Purvis]

[But they are ⑨ Tacos^TM, be happy I didn't pay in peanuts.
The acid is burning through my throat, that ain't a pleasant feeling.

Yes, but unfortunately I cannot accept barter. Also, take this prescription for some organolithium and take a dose as soon as you get it, then call me tomorrow.

Docter, lately. . . I am not quite feeling the fever to continue tweaking my uwabami afro spellcards.

Take a short break. Make some new spellcards from scratch. Or if you are sick of spellcards altogether, try something else. I'll send you my bill.

Your Horoscope is: RULE # 158 : The Ultimate Flight Equation : # 155 :[10^[((C2 PL) ? COM)^(1/3)]] ( km or mi ) / hour, for velocity, where C2 PL = flight C0, where COM = @ C2 PL for body or size of TL object such as a spaceship, and where C0 for flight in HYBRID = CLASS for flight in ?86 MU TSR rpg ; but, to get the correct C2 PL to use in the equation subtract COM from C2 PL to get the NEW C2 PL for velocity < this equation, can, also, be used for Destoryah & Gamera, as well as the ZERGs >; but, I came up with this equation independently but COINCIDENTALLY IS VERY SIMILAR or/and CLOSE TO BEING ALMOST THE SAME AS IN THE ?86 MU tsr rpg, < when I plugged in 10 C2 PL for flight for WWI warplanes @ 10 C0 flight; 20 C2 PL for WWII warplanes @ 20 C0 flight; & 30 C2 PL for MODERN American warplanes @ 30 C0 flight > when I decided to plug in values for flight for Shi?Ar battle cruiser into this. This equation proves that the ?86 MU TSR rpg with the right set of units can be a viable rpg, rather than using the unitless unit ?CLASS?, referred to as C0 for being unitless. This is the direction that my homebrew rpg is or was going: to RULE # 155: it?s the best ! But, ALWAYS keep in mind that this equation applies to @ C2 PL, but ONLY @ C2 PL. But, note that fuel will deplete @ in hours, so u need to reduce velocity by 168x. For accuracy of 687.487 C0, look @ RULE # 11, # 16, #116, # 160, # 179, & # 189.

[Hououin Kyouma]

Doctor Purvis - I am not feeling well today. I think it was due posting on my iPod touch (not a iphone)

[Moerin]

I can't think of anything wrong with me!  What's the cure, doctor~?

[Hello Purvis]

I'll like something to cure death.

I recommend reincarnation. Possession may sound like a worthwhile alternative, but it always falls short in the long run. Trust me. I'll send you my bill.

Your horoscope is: RULE # 178 :Velocity in mph = [10^{(LN(C2 PL))*LOG10(C1 PL)}] : this confirms (the) accuracy of RULE # 175 & # 135. At 49.28 C2 PL = 20 C1 PL, maximum velocity = 10^5 mph for an object @ 49.28 C2 PL or 20 C1 PL. And, @ 10 C2 PL = 10 C1 PL, maximum velocity = 10^2.3 = 200 miles per hour.

Doctor Purvis - I am not feeling well today. I think it was due posting on my iPod touch (not a iphone)

Have you checked your iPod for toxins lately?

I can't think of anything wrong with me!  What's the cure, doctor~?

Post with Tenshi's iPod touch. I'll send you my bill.

Your horoscope is: RULE # 53 : Phasing is the power to pass through (a) given obstacle(s). % phasing = cloaking % = (sum of X) = [(X*(X+1)) / 2], where X = (total / base), where base is normally @ 10 C2. If he has total of 100 C2, then X = (100 / 10) = 10. THEN, % phasing or % cloaking = [(10*11) / 2 ] = 55 % phasing or % cloaking @ 100 C2 with base @ 10 C2 @ X = 10 by [C2 / base ] = 10.

[Pako]

Your medication arrived to late, and now the acid has burned through most of my organs, what should I do now?