Author Topic: Yukari's Grand Tour of Gensokyo  (Read 6338 times)


Yukari's Grand Tour of Gensokyo
« on: April 22, 2009, 05:39:12 PM »
Moving my fanfiction over here, when the visions flow so too the updates. such as the one on the bottom.

"...she pushed me off the cliff"

Oh? Come in. Come in. Would you like to hear this story? I'll start from the beginning then.

My name is Not Important, remember it.

It all started when I signed up for this tour. It was called Yukari's Grand tour of Gensokyo. I always wanted to travel and the ticket covered all expenses for a low price. I suppose I should have been suspicious when I couldn't find Gensokyo on any map.

I came to a Yukari's Travel Agency and met this lady. She introduced herself as Yukari Yakumo. We entered the office and I noticed that the interior looked like the edge of a canyon. Yukari's said, "Welcome to Yukari's Grand Tour of Gensokyo. The best way to know a place is to know its people." Then she pushed me off the cliff.

The landing was surprisingly soft, and I felt rather tired for some reason. So, I took a nap.

Bam! I awoke from a hard strike on my head. I looked up to see a familiar face... Yet, I was quite sure that I never met anyone with green hair. I jumped up yelling, "Lady Shikeiki!" Though I never met anyone named Shikeiki and I certainly never attach the title "Lady" to anyone's name. She sighed and said, "Komachi, you should stop taking so many breaks and get to work. A hardworking shinigami is a virtuous...

She continued lecturing and didn't seem to be losing any steam. I decided to sit down on the stump behind me. Her lecture went on and on, and I started to nod off. However a projectile hit my head and snapped me to awareness. I looked up to see that I was inside a room, that a much bigger lady with a tiny building on her head was looking sternly at me, and that Shikeiki person that was lecturing me was gone. The present lady yelled, "Pay attention" to which I responded, "Yes, Kiene-sensei." I had never met Kiene and yet I knew her name? I figured it happened the same way as I knew Shikeiki's name. She put down a problem on the chalkboard and told the class to write it down. I looked down to begin writing the problem of a piece of paper, and wrote "and there Reimu met a hell crow named Utsuho Reiuji."...I had no idea who Reimu was and why I was writing about her meeting Utsuho. I notice that I was not writing on a piece of paper but in a book. It was called the Gensokyo Chronicles of the Ninth Generation by Akyu no Hieda.

I heard a movement and looked up to see Marisa stealing MY books, Again!! ARRGH!! I looked down into my spell book, turned to "How to Punish a Thief," and declared the first spell card I could find Water Sign [Enema From Hell]. I had time to reflect that I was no longer in a classroom but in a gigantic library with a skylight, that I was angry at someone I never met named Marisa for a chronic problem, and used skills I never had.

...What? Oh I see. Well, if she can't handle the story, she can leave. If she wants to stay, she can stay. Though the story gets a bit more graphic.

Anyways, geysers of water started shooting up at Marisa who appeared to have somewhat of a blush. One of the geysers hit her and enveloped her in a sphere of water. That sphere of water started shrinking and Marisa grew quite red. She immediately dropped the books and burst through the skylight. Even though, she left with such speed, I could still hear her scream through the broken skylight. The room suddenly became unbearably hot causing me to become quite dizzy. It felt like a good time to take a nap and I did. As I fell, I heard a voice cry out, "Mistriss Patchouli!"

I awoke from my nap to the sound of a familiar voice saying, "Reimu. Reimu. This is your wake up call~." I responded, "Mmph, go away Yukari." She said, "Nuh uh" and started shaking me.

"Fine, what is it Yukari" I sat up.

"So, how are you enjoying your tour of Gensokyo?"


"You heard me. Please speak up Mr. Important."

I found myself attempting to say "Whaaat!?! Mister !?!" and "It's very confusing but rather effective" at the same time. Apparently I wasn't the only one in this body.

Reimu yelled, "You got me possessed!?!" She threw a swarm of homing amulets at Yukari. "And as for you Mr. Important; GEEET OOUUT!!!" She slammed an amulet on our collective forehead.

I clambered back onto my broom. 'I'm even crashing into branches,' I thought. Patchouli's spell card... I didn't even want to think about it. All I wanted was to get out of my soiled clothes and have a nice hot bath. I arrived home and got out of my clothes as quickly as possible and heated my bathtub. I jumped in and began scrubbing. 'I didn't think Patchouli had it in her. She really has too much of a temper. I mean I was just borrowing the books. and that spell card... Yeesh. I suppose I would have been okay in the right context. Come to think of it, Patchouli's energy felt weird. Almost as if someone else was there.' I got out of the bath, wrapped myself in a towel and entered my bedroom.

There, I began dressing. First with my miko uniform, then I put on my snake and frog accessories. Kanako called me to the altar for something. She said something strange was happening. I arrived at the altar and heard a gasp. Suwako seemed horrified and was pointing at me. "Sanae-chan," she said, "you're possessed." I was quite surprised and even worried because Suwako would never lied to me and thus must be telling the truth. She quickly fired an exorcism spell at my head.

I reeled from Sakuya's knife. She yelled, "China wake up you lazy door guard. Get back to work." I responded, "Yes, Sakuya-sama." She left. I sighed. I was still sore from getting blasted by Marisa. On that day, she raided Patchouli's library and decided to use double spark instead of Master Spark to knock me out of the way.

The sun was setting. I noticed a speck in the distance. It was Marisa, which was unusual, but not quite so unusual as the huge syringe strapped to her back. I called the guards to prepare for battle.

The battle was fierce, but Marisa wasn't using her master spark this time, which again was unusual for her. After she had eliminated the fairies, she started speaking.

"There's that weird energy again. Why is it coming form China this time and not you Patchouli?"

I could sense that Patchouli was behind me.

"Mistress Patchouli? What are you doing out here?"

Patchouli responded, "It was rather warm in the library today. So hot." She fainted.

"Well, that settles it." Marisa said. To which I replied "Huh?"

Marisa explained, "I'm taking my revenge out on you China."

To say I was unprepared for her attack would be a gross misstatement since a guard must always be ready for trouble. However, I was a tourist not a guard. This realization led me to take a final spark in the face.

When I woke up, I was in chains in a dark room. My mind drifted to events that happened earlier. Sis told me that something weird would happen today. It was so boring inside this room. so I took the eye of the wall and made it go 'kyu'. The chains were nothing. I wanted to go out and play. I left through the hole in the wall I made.

I exited the kitchen carrying a tray holding a bamboo flower cake. Not very sweet but rare. The mistress certainly liked rare things. I checked outside to see if China was slacking off. To my surprise. I saw China on the ground with her clothes being pulled off by Marisa. I decided that China needed to be punished for letting her guard down but Marisa needed to be dealt with first. The mistress was also waiting for her snack and one can't punish a KOed person. I stopped time walked out set many knives to stab Marisa in the back and turned to enter the mansion.

I entered the Mansion. I stood at the beginning of the hallway which Reisen's room was in well-greased sausage in hand. Everything was set up. I had convinced Kaguya to make it take three hours to go through the hallway. Reisen would pay for ratting me out. I threw the sausage through that hallway of Eientei. I turned to enter the hot springs.

I wandered the fog for some time. I got bored so I decided to freeze some frogs. That was fun. It was even more fun when I juggled them. I managed nine!

"So...First you possess my shrine maiden, and now, I find you freezing frogs. I'm gonna hurt you."

I turned around and saw a young girl with a strange hat with eyes on it. I replied, "Eye'm the strongest!" and charged.

I declared Ice Sign [Icicle Fall -easy-]. She walked up to me and everything went white.

I thought, 'This doesn't hurt. In fact, the feels kinda gooooooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!" *pant* *pant* "Ma-Marisa!"

"Betcha didn't know I could do that with my mini-Hakkero. Heh, I got an idea." She went to her things and pulled out a huge syringe.

"How's about this..."

"I-I'm not into that."

I reflexively gathered my dolls around me.

"Well, you might like it..."

She had this strange look in her eyes. It startled me and I bolted out of through the door.

I strolled down Eientei to my room. I wondered what Tewi was going to do, she was pissed at being caught for the first ti-

A rope pulled me up and hung me by the legs and spread them open. A sausage came from the hall and completely burried itself in me. It was too much for me. I-

woke from my nap. I could still remember Kaguya's face when I managed to ambush her. The burning was satisfying. I put on my pants and shirt and went to open my-

lamprey stand. I so love to sing and I could use it lure customers here. Ah, Wriggle's coming to visit. I'll cook up a special order for-

est is so full of trees. It hurts when I bump into them. I heard something rustle. Is it someone I can eat?
Little did he know, the shed was near Yuyuko, who was in a role-play of Dune. As a sandworm.