"Ich bin die st?rkstete!" ( "I am the most strongest!", because a modification of "I am" would sound too stupid in German in my opinion)
So, you're worried about a cartoon show, huh? What about a live action movie?!
Touhou Evolution
Reimu is an unlucky everydude living in the city of New Gensokyo who is always out of money. One fateful night he has a vision that in exactly one month, a perfect lunar eclipse (or blood moon) will cause the awekening of the Scarlet Devil, and only the magical yin-yang orb of the Hakurei shrine can stop him! Thus Reimu goes out on a quest for this artifact. He is aided by his two closest friends:
Marisa, a street savage girl of african american descent who always spouts stereotypcal jive terky; and Alice, a geeky engineering student who always has a couple of self-built gadgets and doohickies with her (which are referred to as "Beyblades").
But the cult of the Scarlet Devil has already taken notice and hired a ruthless mercenary, "Say-COO-yay", to ensure their failure.
After a couple of whacky hijinks and almost-confrontations with the mercenary, our protagonists manage to make out the location of the shrine in an unnamed mountain range in Japan. There they meet Yukari Yakumo, an old hermit who lives there alone with his two pets, a cat and a fox. After a trial of heart, he hands the yin-yang orb to Reimu. But what's this? Just as he starts to explaing how to use it, a knife hits him in the back, killing him instantly! The confrontation with Sakuya has finally come! After a little taunting, Marisa grabs a bottle of strong sake, throws it at Sakuya and then sets him on fire with her lighter (of brand "Master Spark"), killing him instantly!
The blood moon is only two days away, and the trio still doesn't know how to activate the yin-yang, so what's better to do than to include a romance subplot between Reimu and Alice! Reimu does not know how to handle his feelings for Alice, so Marisa gives him instructions. On the following night, he has a candlelight dinner with her, during which everything seems to go wrong. Just as Reimu gathered enough courage to finally propose to her, the lunar eclipse begins, colouring everything in a deep crimson!
From the sky descends The Scarlet Devil, a giant bat-like creature with an enourmous jaw and tentacles all over its body. The entire world is in danger, and everyone but Reimu and Alice flee upon hearing the monster's terrible cry. Alice uses her most powerful Beyblade going by the name of Shanghai, but she only manages to enrage the beast and is promptly buried under falling debris. Upon this tragic event, Reimu tries to end it once an for all and throes the yin-yang orb into the mouth of the Scarlet Devil, killing it instantly, after which it explodes into sparkles, just as the eclipse ends. Driven to tears Reimu searches for his true love in the rubble of the restaurant. Surprise surprise, she is still alive! The film concludes with Reimu and Alice getting married, and they all live happily ever after.
The End.
