Ask a Staffer - Lucky 7 Episode - Ask a Gap Edition!

[Mr_Bob]

Med-student, huh? My condolences, but I salute your perseverance.  How do you take your coffee, or other stimulants, if any?
Favorite medieval armament?  What is your opinion of modern chivalry?

[Gappy]

So is everyone gonna do the-format now?

Why is Sakana your favorite?

I live by Reimu's philosophy of being as impartial as I can. I avoid favouritism when I can. As such, I wouldn't say he's a favourite... But I can't deny that Sakana's a close friend and confidant.

Nyaachooooh! *Sniffle*

He's my dear E-Niichan, and with good reason. He's that rare species of gentleman who is always kind, thoughtful, selfless and persevering.

*sniffle* Teeheehee, I wonder who's talking about me~

He is courteous and polite to everyone, particularly to ladies. And yet he manages to do it naturally, with no sense of pretentiousness about him.I might even go so far as to say that he's one of the manliest manly men I've ever met so far.

Ehehehee, lollipops~ cheese cakes~ Pumpin pies too~ Food don't rhyme, but neither do I, chocolate~ montblancs~ cupcakes~

He goes to great lengths to help friends in need, no matter how thankless it may be, and.....err......and....he's....she's...not rhyming....err....

lots and lots of food today~ a real festivay yaaayaaaaay~

...And....he's German....and.... he plays Mass Effect 2....and.....

........................

Oneechama! Could you please stop that?!

E-ehh...G-Gappy-c-chan...? S-Stop....-s-stop wh-what?

Being so....well....so....err......just...stop being so....so SAKANA!

*Sniffle* I-I'm s-sorry....G-Gappy-ch-chan....W-W-Waaaaaaah!

..... *Sigh* That's okay, that's okay....you're really cute, you know that?

R-Really....?

Yes, really really~

Ehehehe...Gappy-chan praised meee~<3

On a scale of crawfish to tuna, salmon being the median, how much do you enjoy a well balanced breakfast?

Tuna!

W-whaah?!

*pet pets Oneechama*

Tehehe~

It depends really, how much time I have. But a good day invariably starts with a good breakfast, as such, I like having a good balance of food when I can get it.

Food? Yay! Let's have food! *Goes and rummages in the picnic basket*

I like to have toasted earth, smeared with sun-jam and moon-terine, maybe some asteroid belt cereal with milky way....and I also enjoy  nice hot Mars pancakes~

Anything, really. Just keep those awful black hole puddings away from me.

*pops her head out of the basket* Gappy-chan.....the basket is empty....

WHAT?!

How Happy could A Cappy wearing Gappy reading a Mappy get, if the Cappy wearing Gappy looked rather Dappy whilst resting upon the Lappy of a Yappy Chappy?
Or was that question simply Crappy?

Bro, that was, like, so crappy, y'know, that I, like, actually smelled the crap, y'know. And, phew, it smells like rotten tuna roadkill on a hot, humid night in inside Purvis' hobo can(TM) in 'Nam.

W-waaah, I-I'm s-sorry, G-Gappy-chaaan. I-I didn't think we'd miss that last chopper if we stayed back to loot all those big dead people...

That's okay, Oneechan, you're still cute.

R-Really? *Sniffle* Y-yaaay!

Anyway, you want to know what a Cappy wearing a Gappy looking rather Dappy while resting on the Lappy of a Yappy Chappy?

THE CAPPY WHO STOLE OUR FESTIVAL FOOD WILL BE GETTING A BIG CAPPY UP CRAP CREEK WHEN I GET HIM TO WEAR MY GAPPY-SPECIAL. HE'LL LOOK VERY, VERY DAPPY WHEN I FINISH WITH HIM, SO MUCH SO THAT THE ONLY LAPPY HE'D BE ABLE TO FIT INTO IS THAT OF THAT RATHER YAPPY GRIM REAPER CHAPPY. HE'LL BE SO DAPPY HE'LL BE THE ONLY CAPPY IN THE AFTERLIFE TO LOOK OH SO DAPPY!

And he'll be quite unhappy too.

* Gappy whips out a till and starts punching in numbers...

KACHING!

[Dead Princess Sakana]

 :blush:

[Gappy]

I know almost nothing about you except one time I remember you ranting about TOO MANY DAMN KIDS or the like.  That said, what's your family situation like?

Family? I don't have one. I was, am, and always will be. Causa Causans. The closest thing I have to a family are the ever-watchful stars and the ever-guiding moon, the rejuvenating rays of the first east sun and the wayward west spring wind, as well as what could be called brothers and sisters, the likes of Fenrir and Cthulhu, Sakana and Erebus.

Oh, wait, you mean THE Family. Just a moment, I'm in the middle of calling them right now.



They'll be here soon enough.

...Why are you so gosh darned adorabubble? :blush:

Because I'm the main character and I'm about to kick some poor sod's face in for stealing all our food!

*BGM CHANGE*

And there's the BGM Change! Time to beat up the first boss on our way to recovering our stolen preciooooouuuuuuus Fooood!

*BGM - Pandora's Box - The One Left Behind*

Wait....that's my theme....

*1st Stage Boss - The Treasured Child Filled with Hope - Gappy*

.....

Awawawawawa! I-I-I have to fight G-Gappy-chan?!

D-Don't worry, Sakana-neechama! The first boss is always the weakest!

*Gappy Power Level > 9000 Cats*

Eeep! M-Mommy.... I-I-I'm going t-to die!

S-Sugar! I forgot! Touhou OCs are all about power-leveling! Sakana-neechama! You must defeat me! Only then will I experience a change of heart, see things from your perspective, and join your cause and become your nakama!

B-but...w-why?! T-that makes no sense, Gappy-chan!

Come! Real men speak with their fists!

But you're not a man, Gappy-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Oneeechaaamaaaaaaaa!

Gappy-chaaaaaaaaaaaaan!



*TUNA-WHACK*

What's been your favourite place in the world that you've visited?

Oooh....I see everything flashing before my eyes..... Thailand....Thailand was nice....it's so bright....so beautiful....the people were so friendly....the food was so good....the beautifully gilded temples ranging as far as the eye can see.......aaah, the kind old lady with the roast nuts shop....are you here to take me away atop that elephant you're riding....?

G-Gappy-chan! Don't go! Don't go into the light! Don't ride the elephant!

When was the last time you wore kitty ears~?

...I can't.....remember now....

Noooo! Gappy-chan has amnesia! You must remember! Here, this might help!



*TUNA-WHACK*

...I have it...on so...so...moe...I-I mean....often now....you....they.... I've lost....lost....marbles...I mean, count....



*TUNA-WHACK*

Heehee....You'll have....teeheehee....to ask...heehee.... my sister....



*TUNA-WHACK*

....LAST WEEKEND, ON FRIDAY, 7 PM IN THE EVENING!

* Gappy whips out a till and starts punching in numbers...

KACHING!

[Kips McKipzerson]

Whats that last image from? The 100,000 pix one.

[OkashiiKisei]

What the hell happened to your blue dress?

[helvetica]

Whats that last image from? The 100,000 pix one.

Recettear.

[Gappy]

  Tehehehe, I'm the main character this time~

Wait....doesn't that mean I have to fight everyone and resolve this incident....?

W-waaaah! M-Mommy! I-I'm g-gonna d-die!

What happened to that one personal manga/doujin you were working on like a year ago (or more?)

Oh, oh, Gappy-chan's still away in LalaLand! Ummm....I'll answer this! Gappy-chan's manga.....ummm....oh yes! Someone named 'Wal....Wally....Poor Wally....Walpoor...Geese.....Poor Wall Geese.......WALPURGIS! Yes, WALPURGIS! Walpurgis something....Walpurgis food.....Walpurgis breakfast.....Walpurgis morning....Oh, Walpurgis Night! That's it! Walpurgis-Night-san borrowed it for something or other! I think someone named Q....Qball....

Spoiler:

Kyubey! Kyubey-san

asked for a favour! They mentioned something about.....N-trophies....and creating witches of mass destruction?

Sounds like fun~

....Though I hope we get it back in one piece....

*mutter mutter mutter* I swear I'll finish it one day! *mumble mumble mumble*

Oh, Gappy-chan....the witches of mass destruction, the N-trophies, your sleep, or maybe the 1Up cake you promised me~?

Even with a future in medical service, are you planning to pursue writing/drawing on the side as a source of profit as well?

O-oh....G-Gappy-chan, a-are you okay?

Ugh....did you....get the number of that....tuna?

I-I-I'm s-so sorry, G-Gappy-chaaaaaaan...

That's okay, Sakana-neechama. You're still cute.

Teehehehehe~

Did someone say PROFIT?

Oh, there was a question while you were sleeping off the tuna, Gappy-chan.

Oh, groovy. Hmmm, DA commissions and novel honorariums aside, I write and draw mainly as a hobby. Yes, even medical students can have their fun. Sure, the money I earn from it is useful in supplementing my tuition fees and living expenses as well as providing me with a nifty source of snack money spending money, but money isn't the end-all. I enjoy writing and drawing what I like, when I like.

Having my creativity shackled by customers and the publishers makes it more a chore than anything. My advice to you aspiring writers - unless you're desperate for money, don't become a contract writer. Publishers are slave-drivers who prefer OMGNINJASOUTOFNOWHERE to actual content.

So, will I pursue it for profit? If I make enough money to live comfortably, maybe not. I wanna have fun drawing and writing after all~ And that's not the only thing I'm pursuing right now. We have a food thief to pursue!

Oh, wait....Writing + Drawing = Profit. Sakana = Writing. Gappy = Drawing. Therefore...

GAPPY + SAKANA = SOURCE OF PROFIT! QUICK, SAKANA-NEECHAMA, WE MUST GATTAI!

Gappy-chaaaaaaaaaaan! That makes no seeeeeenseeee!

GATTAI IS WHERE THE BURNING SPIRITS OF TWO MEN COLLIDE TO FORGE A RAGING FLAME THAT WILL BURN AWAY THE DARKNESS AND BRING FORTH A BRIGHT NEW DAWN! COME, SAKANA-NECHAMAAAAAAAAAAA!

Gappy-chaaaaaaaaaaaan! Itaaaaaaiiiiii desuuuuuuuuuuuuu! And we're not Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!

THE ULTIMATE COMBO....TENGGEN TOPPA GAPKANAAAAAAAA!



*GATTAI*

*BGM Change*

And not a moment too soon! We've found ourselves the next boss!

....Gappy-chaaaaan.....it's Gattai....but why am I the arm....

You're not the arm.

Really? Oh, that's good.

You're the face-bashing warhammer.

Oh....wait.....that's.....that's not so good....

* Gappy whips out a till and starts punching in numbers...

KACHING!

(Also, MGS images in previous post were amended as follows:



)

[Letty Whiterock]

You couldn't be bothered to crop/resize the images, or at the very least remove the rez/size info on those pictures?

[Gappy]

You couldn't be bothered to crop/resize the images, or at the very least remove the rez/size info on those pictures?

BOY, YOU TELLIN' ME THERE IS SOFTWARE OUT THERE IN THIS MORTAL UNIVERSE THAT IS EVEN REMOTELY CAPABLE OF CONTAINING UNIVERSE-RENDING MIND-TWISTING REALITY-WARPING MANLY MANLINESS MADE OF MANLIEST MANLY MANLINESS, LET ALONE CROPPING OR RESIZING IT?!

You mad, bro.

[OkashiiKisei]

Edit: Never mind messed up again dammit...

[Jana]

...Would you mind answering questions as yourself instead of as a character, or at least saying that you won't answer so-and-so question?

[HakureiSM]

I don't mind the particular way she's answering them, it's actually very nice, but I second the latter half of your question :derp:

[Jana]

I mean it more in the sense that even those questions being "answered" aren't getting a real answer some of the time.

[ES-Anthy]

Hey Gappy what's your favorite mecha of the Real and Super Genre? :3

[FinnKaenbyou]

I mean it more in the sense that even those questions being "answered" aren't getting a real answer some of the time.

No offense, but I have to agree with this. The purpose of these sessions is to give people a good idea of who's actually behind the scary internet mask. I'm not saying you can't make jokes (Sakana-chaaaaaaaan~ I'm gonna take you home~) but the point's not to give us a clue of your internet persona, but a clue about you.

[Dead Princess Sakana]

but the point's not to give us a clue of your internet persona, but a clue about you.

Only as far as the person questioned is willing to reveal info. There is absolutely no obligation to answer personal questions.
And if you would care to read the answers so far, the only question outright not answered was about the family-situation. All other questions had their answers within the skits, and not even subtle. Or do you honestly want to tell me the answers about the medical profession etc. were "internet persona"?

I'm kinda baffled as to what people are expecting here.

[helvetica]

No offense but this isn't your thread and you are not the person being interviewed.  If you don't like the manner the questions are being answered then don't ask. 

The person being interviewed has the right to answer the question in the manner they see fit, and they can pick and choose based on their discretion which questions to answer.  If you don't like it tough, you're not the one on the hotseat.

[Solais]

No question, but good touch there. I still haven't finished naming all 7 of my fairies...... BUT WE HAVE A FOOD THIEF TO CATCH!

[FinnKaenbyou]

No offense but this isn't your thread and you are not the person being interviewed.  If you don't like the manner the questions are being answered then don't ask. 

The person being interviewed has the right to answer the question in the manner they see fit, and they can pick and choose based on their discretion which questions to answer.  If you don't like it tough, you're not the one on the hotseat.

Right, apologies. Just that the answering method here is pretty different from the sort we had in the last 6 episodes, and I figured it was for the most part a quite formal venture.

[helvetica]

Right, apologies. Just that the answering method here is pretty different from the sort we had in the last 6 episodes, and I figured it was for the most part a quite formal venture.

It can but it doesn't have to be.  The idea is to get to know people you may only know through a professional manner.  It's completely up to the interviewee to decide how they wish for that to happen, as well as what questions to take on.

If you watch one of the great interviewers, they will intentionally invoke the character qualities of the person they're interviewing in order to ge sides you can't just describe with words.

This is an interview, not a Congressional hearing I guess is the point I want to get across.

[あさらぎシジェ]

It's what Purvis did except cooler. :V

[Gappy]

How's it feel to be bitin' my style?

BITE THIS!



*TUNA-OMNI-WHACK*

Why am I your favorite?

Because you've just exploded and coughed up power-ups and score-multipliers....well, not much, but decent. Enough to help me lay waste to more of your kind.

G-G-Gappy-chaaan....w-who....w-what....where....?

Looks like your head ran into an anonymous fairy.

B-but....i-it was sitting...in a REALLY HARD metal drum....

It was a hobo fairy. A VERY hobo fairy.

]Oooh....

His name's Purvis, yet another good friend. To reiterate, I don't play favourites, but I will admit to having good, close friends I can enjoy openly chatting with. Purvis is one of them. He's also in possession of one of those rare breeds of humour that I myself enjoy partaking in. Sharing my sense of humour automatically makes him cool, by definition. Long story short, he's a glorious bastard, and I enjoy his company. 

What do you think is the largest problem the forum ever dealt with?

Today, exactly 1 year ago, comes to mind quite readily. I still haven't forgiven myself. I didn't pull off a single April Fool's joke today. I've learned my lesson. I won't dig it up from its grave deep in some forgotten trench at the bottom of the Ocean of Stupid E-Drama. If you're horribly, insatiably curious, I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with the curiosity in the best way you can, as I'm sure the rest of the staff members here wouldn't touch the topic with a 5-foot-long tuna.

  Now, there WAS a bigger problem, but I think we've just disposed of it.

Really, we did?

Yes, using your head, and....

...USE OF DECISIVE, EXCESSIVE SURGICALLY-APPLIED VIOLENCE.

V-Vi-Violence....? W-What does that mean?

It just means you're really, really cute, Sakana-neechama~

Really~? Ehehehehe~

...Would you mind answering questions as yourself instead of as a character, or at least saying that you won't answer so-and-so question?

I don't mind the particular way she's answering them, it's actually very nice, but I second the latter half of your question :derp:

I mean it more in the sense that even those questions being "answered" aren't getting a real answer some of the time.

No offense, but I have to agree with this. The purpose of these sessions is to give people a good idea of who's actually behind the scary internet mask. I'm not saying you can't make jokes (Sakana-chaaaaaaaan~ I'm gonna take you home~) but the point's not to give us a clue of your internet persona, but a clue about you.

I'm scary?

I-I think they mean your mask is scary, Gappy-chan.

....You wear a mask?

Oh? You didn't know? One moment. *Removes mask*

Peek-a-boo~

W-W-W-W-W....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



*TUNA-WHACK*

*PEE-POO-PEE-POO-PEE-POO*

O-Oh-oh no! G-Ga-Gappy-chaaan! Don't ride any elephants! Don't die! D-Doctor! W-We need a d-doctor!

Did somebody call for a doctor?

Noooooooooooooooo!

I see, this is acute demasking syndrome with underlying underlying sea weasel elbow. I will prescribe a homeopathic remedy made up of diluted masked sea weasels. That'll be 100,000 pix, in unmarked bills please. I will send you the bill.

No, doctor, it's okay. I don't normally wear a mask, neither online or in real life.

What, you don't have 100,000 pix in unmarked bills to pay for my new pimped up ride and swank new crib this modest medical bill?

No, I just don't have the stomach for sea weasels. Last time I had them, the Russians had to mop up Chernobyl. With a giant concrete mop.

Do you always evade questions with such poor excuse for wit?

It sounds better and less offputting than 'no, I'm not answering your question because it's too personal.'

AND EVADING IS FOR LITTLE GIRLS AND SISSIES! REAL MEN PUNCH QUESTIONS THEY DON'T LIKE IN THE FACE BEFORE ROLLING OVER THEM IN A MONSTER TRUCK! WHILE ON FIRE!

B-But, Gappy-chan, you're not a man!

*Petpets a Tuna*

Ehehehehe~

* Gappy whips out a till and starts punching in numbers...

KACHING!

[HakureiSM]

Well that was a nice answer.

Except Purvis sucks, that bum.

[あさらぎシジェ]

It just gets better and better. :V

[communist unity (comm-unity)]

you never answered my questions you jerk
 

[E-Nazrin]

WHERE IS SARAH CONNER

[Yakitori]

WHERE IS SARA

Fix'd :3

[Suikama]

WHERE IS SANA

[Esifex]

What do you think of The Library and its Librarians? Being related to one of them seems like it may give you a biased response, but we'll overlook that nepotism and take your reply completely and totally at face-value with no snark or between-the-line readings~