Author Topic: New Writers Contest (Read 38191 times)

Sect · « **Reply #90 on:** February 01, 2011, 08:33:38 AM »

Quote from: Squidtentacle on February 01, 2011, 08:28:47 AM

Oh man, finally. I've been waiting for this. *eagerly awaits results*

Yeah, I did. I enjoy writing predominantly dark stories, particularly if they have sprinklings of lightheartedness and humor added to them.

And it helps with venting, so that's a plus.

I'm kind of the opposite: writing darker stories tend to make me depressed, while writing upbeat or humorous stories lift me up.

That said, your story, Squid, is my personal favorite: pretty melancholy, yet has a sort of happy ending at the end. Also, happy birthday.

jaxter0987 · « **Reply #91 on:** February 01, 2011, 09:09:53 AM »

Placeholder for comments on other entries. You guys all turned it in at the last minute :V

Edit: Okuu, I liked the dialogue you created. What the characters said actually sounded like something they would say and I have to admit, I never had much interest in Keine until reading your story. However, the story had no "beginning". You did say that this was a modified version of chapter 2 and 3 of your fanfic but atleast you could have added something in the beginning to give some background. I felt as though I was just dropped into the story. Perhaps you should have included chapter 1 in your submission? And to end on a good note, I appreciate how you portrayed Satori.

Edit: Kaisou Hisakata, it was indeed too short. The story kind of just petered out. The writing sounds like HangedHourai's writing style (atleast in "When Alice is Away, the Dolls will Play") but a tad different. There wasn't enough background about Seidenki. Otherwise, the story was decent as you said.

Edit: BlackAlice, I commend your courage at writing your first fanfic. I have never actually spent an extended amount of time writing about touhou (Yet, I'm still here critiquing... :3). I had to write a short story and used touhou as inspriation. I considered submitting it but it really just sucked. Despite the english grammar errors which were minimal, the story still flowed. Hopefully you'll continue writing fanfics.

CS · « **Reply #92 on:** February 01, 2011, 12:23:53 PM »

Quote from: capt. h on February 01, 2011, 07:42:58 AM

CS and SquidTentacle - Those stories sure are dark. Did you have fun writing them?

Yea, I had fun writing it. I like darker stories sometimes.

After reading the other entries I think I like SquidTentacles' best, happy yet sad at the same time

Sect · « **Reply #93 on:** February 01, 2011, 07:32:38 PM »

That's a pretty good review of Squid's story, Cap, but you said something that I feel needs pointing out.

Quote from: capt. h on February 01, 2011, 06:38:13 PM

The reason is simple - When Sect said you wrote the best story, I mixed up yours with CS's and I thought I agreed with Sect. Then I realized that he was refering to your story, not the one about the bully. Thus, the fact that Sect thought yours was the best improved my opinion of the story I thought was yours without actually changing anything about the story. It's a psycological phenominon where people like what's popular, and while author's should take advantage of that phenominon, judges shouldn't be swayed by it.

This is important. Now, you got a little confused: I said it was my favorite, not the best (the two, while not mutually exclusive, aren't necessarily the same thing either). However, the core lesson remains the same: come up with your own opinions on what you like, don't like, think is good, and think is terrible. You can look at other people's opinions, sure, and they might even influence you, but otherwise it's on you to come to your own conclusions.

Unassuming Squid · « **Reply #94 on:** February 01, 2011, 09:10:10 PM »

You know you guys don't need to capitalize "tentacle", right? :V

Thanks for the review, capt. I appreciate hearing constructive criticism. Just a few things I wanted to respond to.

Quote from: capt. h on February 01, 2011, 06:38:13 PM

On being dark.

Yeah, I figured that it would be hard for certain people. But...that's just the subject matter I like. I enjoy writing/reading dark things, and since I tend to write for personal satisfaction that's what I wrote. Maybe it's just because so much of the Touhou fanfiction I see is often lighthearted and perfectly fine, so I like to realistically balance it out with stuff like this.

Or maybe I'm just bullshitting whatever.

Quote from: capt. h on February 01, 2011, 06:38:13 PM

Not quite a Touhou story.

Hm. That is an interesting point. My main thought was that it was about Rin becoming more aware of the pre-death lives of people that she carts away. Before the story, she would just plop any corpse she came across into her cart and drop them into the Hell of Blazing Fires without any concern over whether their souls had left their bodies yet. Having some trouble figuring out how exactly to say what I mean...

Anyway, I suppose both could easily be the theme of that story. Depends on how you view it, I guess.

Regarding starting the story with the OC, I tried a few different ways of starting it with Rin, but the way I have it now just felt best in my opinion.

Anyway, thanks for the review. Helps as something to keep in mind.

BlackAlice · « **Reply #95 on:** February 02, 2011, 02:41:52 PM »

Quote from: capt. h on February 01, 2011, 07:42:58 AM

BlackAlice - Your story reads like humor to me. If I were writing it, I'd have probably added more humor.

Humor eh? I got distract because of my Grand Chase fanfic. It is humor, maybe it affected my Touhou fanfic too =3

CS · « **Reply #96 on:** February 02, 2011, 04:07:14 PM »

Thanks for the reviews capt, yeah I kinda agree bout the bully thing. Having him gain a conscience and realizing his mistakes all in the last seconds of his life really isn't such a good idea after all >.<
And yeah, I'll try not to start with OCs next time. And sorry bout the story being a little dark, I like it that way, kinda makes it different from other people's (I think)

Doll.S CUBE · « **Reply #97 on:** February 02, 2011, 11:20:43 PM »

Seeing those stories makes me want to write out the rest of the chapters of my story and make a new story too.

But, sigh, can't think of anything.

Good stories you guys.

BlackAlice · « **Reply #98 on:** February 04, 2011, 02:03:05 PM »

Ummmm... Where is the result?

MaxKnight · « **Reply #99 on:** February 04, 2011, 03:12:45 PM »

While I'm curious about the result myself, I'm more interested in the critique, as that's what drew me to this in the first place.

(I know my story was on the long side, though, and I apologize for sounding impatient; I guess I'm just in a hurry to learn what I can do to improve myself...)

Iced Fairy · « **Reply #100 on:** February 04, 2011, 03:32:59 PM »

Please wait warmly. Judges are compiling.

The Winner should be announced tonight or tommorow morning, with critiques arriving throughout the weekend. We got a lot of last minute entries, and some of our judges have busy weeks, so it's taking a little time.

Sect · « **Reply #101 on:** February 04, 2011, 03:37:30 PM »

Quote from: IcedFairy on February 04, 2011, 03:32:59 PM

We got a lot of last minute entries,

:derp:

Marokuu · « **Reply #102 on:** February 04, 2011, 05:14:30 PM »

Man now I'm starting to feel nervous, my entry was nothing special but I'm eagerly awaiting the critique

Unassuming Squid · « **Reply #103 on:** February 04, 2011, 08:04:26 PM »

Aaaaaah I can't wait

I'm really looking forward to seeing the results and getting some advice. :3

Esifex · « **Reply #104 on:** February 04, 2011, 11:45:55 PM »

As one of the judges, I feel obligated to say to the eagerly waiting masses

WHY IN THE BLAZES DID YOU WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE D:

Ryuu · « **Reply #105 on:** February 04, 2011, 11:52:10 PM »

esiiiii hurry upppp I wanna see who winsssss

Doll.S CUBE · « **Reply #106 on:** February 05, 2011, 12:40:19 AM »

Quote from: Esifex on February 04, 2011, 11:45:55 PM

As one of the judges, I feel obligated to say to the eagerly waiting masses

WHY IN THE BLAZES DID YOU WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE D:

>_> I just entered contest on a whim (was going to post the story as it's own topic) since I saw it was still going and I guess people followed my footstep.....

Sect · « **Reply #107 on:** February 05, 2011, 12:55:02 AM »

Quote from: Esifex on February 04, 2011, 11:45:55 PM

As one of the judges, I feel obligated to say to the eagerly waiting masses

WHY IN THE BLAZES DID YOU WAIT TILL THE LAST MINUTE D:

Wahaha. Just as planned.

Iced Fairy · « **Reply #108 on:** February 05, 2011, 06:15:05 PM »

Alright! I know you've been waiting, but now our judges finally have a majority in. There were several good fics given, but for a contest there must be a firm judgement. Black and white. And thus our winner is:

Squidtentacle

Your fic was just wonderful. It was well written, drew the readers in, and the story fitted the contest perfectly. I think it would have been a strong contender in the WWC about learning lessons. Yuuto had a strong presence despite being a minor character and Orin's change of heart was touching. You've earned your new title, and I hope to see you writing more. Especially when the WWC revives.

Honorable mentions go to:

Topos, your fic was beautifully written, and had a pleasant subtlety to it. All the judges thought very highly of it, and we'd like to see more of this level of language in the library. You and Squidtentacle are going to be hard to critique in ways that aren't based off stylistic preferences.

MaxKnight, while all our judges wept at it's length, your story has a lot of promise. For someone coming in out of nowhere you have a very strong story base. Hopefully the input we give you can help you polish it.

Sect, you made all the judges laugh. This is an impressive accomplishment in and of itself. There were a few minor issues here and there, but a good punchline (or two) can lead to much forgiveness.

Thanks to all our contestants for participating, and we hope that our advice will give you all renewed confidence in your writings, as well as a good boost of skill. We're going to start compiling and sending out all the reviews now, though we may add a little more later after another judicial review.

We're expecting good things from all of you in the future.

Dead Princess Sakana · « **Reply #109 on:** February 05, 2011, 06:20:59 PM »

Congrats Squid, and good work to everyone that participated~

Esifex · « **Reply #110 on:** February 05, 2011, 06:25:18 PM »

Quote from: Kanako Yasakana on February 05, 2011, 06:20:59 PM

Congrats Squid, and good work to everyone that participated~

EXCEPT EVERYONE WHO WAITED 'TIL THE LAST MINUTE >:C

I mean, congrats all, well done! I do hope the lot of you - including the deadline pushers - kip on over to the WWC when it gets started back up and join us there.

MaxKnight · « **Reply #111 on:** February 05, 2011, 06:30:24 PM »

I'm actually quite happy with this result and can't wait to see what the judges have to say about it.

Thank you, judges, for the consideration; I'll attempt to use the feedback to improve myself in all of my future works.

Unassuming Squid · « **Reply #112 on:** February 05, 2011, 06:37:39 PM »

....w...wow. I really don't know what to say. Thank you so very much. And congratulations to everyone else, as well.

Maybe this'll inspire me to get off my ass and finish those stories I currently have sitting around. :V

Sect · « **Reply #113 on:** February 05, 2011, 06:46:43 PM »

Quote from: Esifex on February 05, 2011, 06:25:18 PM

EXCEPT EVERYONE WHO WAITED 'TIL THE LAST MINUTE >:C

I HAVE NO REGRETS.

Anyways, yeah, the guy who should have won won. Congratulations, Squid, now you'll have to one up yourself from now on. Wahaha.

Kaisou · « **Reply #114 on:** February 05, 2011, 07:34:07 PM »

Nice one, squid! Congrats on your new status!

Spoiler:

Anyways, I'll be sure to use my review notes, and try to make a better story next time!

Spoiler:

Marokuu · « **Reply #115 on:** February 05, 2011, 08:34:23 PM »

Congratulations to Squiddie!

Since I read my critique before checking the thread I wasn't really surprised about... anything really. I guess the problems in my story stems from the fact that the way I've learned to write works fine in swedish but look out of place in english, guess I don't have as firm a grasp of the english language as I thought... oh well something to work on in uppcoming chapters. Maybe I should go back and inprove my old chapters first though :/

Anyways what I'm trying to say is thanks for the critique I just hope I will be able to take it to heart and use it properly :ohdear:

Kips McKipzerson · « **Reply #116 on:** February 05, 2011, 08:45:52 PM »

Congrats to the squid dude.

I was reading your story while listening to the song you mentioned, and I damn near went into tears, and if you knew me personally, thats a big achievement. I was honestly hoping he wasnt going to die either, but, I just had that feeling that he was going to either way. Great story.

scherzo · « **Reply #117 on:** February 05, 2011, 08:46:30 PM »

Congratulations to Squidtentacle and all the participants for their contributions! Is it time for a group hug?

Trying to put a story together for this contest has made me appreciate just how hard writing fiction is. It's really hard, but also really fun, and struggling to condense my fanciful ideas into a seamless verbal texture is an exhilarating experience. My writing is all technical mathematics these days, all very concise, compact, and austere, so it's nice to cut loose in the other direction every once in a while.

Doll.S CUBE · « **Reply #118 on:** February 05, 2011, 11:26:39 PM »

Congratulations Squidtentacle!

Although I never really did get my story critiqued and that's one of my main reason for entering this contest.......

Iced Fairy · « **Reply #119 on:** February 05, 2011, 11:32:41 PM »

Quote from: Bunny Doll.S on February 05, 2011, 11:26:39 PM

Although I never really did get my story critiqued and that's one of my main reason for entering this contest.......

Working on it working on it. You peoples.... :V