This is the 9th thread dedicated to the recording of failures at playing Touhou.

[Iryan]

I call those kicks. She kicks you. Unless her glomp is deadly and suffocates you with her fandom-based mammaries.

Nah, what happened is that she ran over you.

[Janitor Morgan]

Nah, what happened is that she ran over you.

ba dum tish pichuuuu~n

SA Stage 5 on Normal is causing me so much grief I don't even know where to begin. ...Then again, I play MarisaB, so it's probably to be expected. =/

[チソウ タイゼン]

WHY IS MOUNTAIN SO ASS BACKWARDS

Got to the black background bit right before Aya on Hard, capped Exteeending Aaarm, got 92M points.
Got to Momiji on Normal, did not cap Monster Cucumber, got 93M points.

:V

[Arcengal]

WHY IS MOUNTAIN SO ASS BACKWARDS

Got to the black background bit right before Aya on Hard, capped Exteeending Aaarm, got 92M points.
Got to Momiji on Normal, did not cap Monster Cucumber, got 93M points.

:V

# You gotta have faith... #

[Chaotic Phoenixma]

Marisa's hitbox in SA is just bad.

So I'm trying to capture Satori's Alice cards cause that's the only Marisa shottype that even has Lunatic Stage 4 unlocked.

Recollection Spring Kyoto Dolls is harder than Peerless Wind God. Gotten close a few times though.

I've gotten Straw Doll Kamikaze once. It's pretty much like Hourai Jewel in terms of memorization and margin of error, and unlike Hourai Jewel I don't have it down yet.

Return Inanimateness, I just suck at it, but I've gotten close a few times.

[Reddyne]

So after all my Phantasm stage practice, I started doing worse than I usually do. Great, it's like I'm playing the Aya games.

Also, THIS JUST IN! MarisaB in UFO is garbage, even if the shot type is very reminiscent of PC-98 stuff.

[Zengeku]

# You gotta have faith... #

... in the bombs.

[MTSranger]

Almost no-death Koishi. Why do you have to kill me in Subterranean Rose when you are already exploding?

[Cabble]

-playing 12.8 on normal-

Oh hey, i haven't died at all in the first two stages? maybe i'll 1cc and finally unlock extra, which i've been waiting for forever!

-gameover on the first spell-

[marukyuu]

I've never beaten EoSD on Normal, so I give it a try with ReimuA.

I die stupidly with loads of bombs in stock on Meiling's Colorful Rain, one of the fairies right before Midboss Sakuya on Stage 5, TWICE on Marionette, and somehow I still manage to get to Remi... then game over on Red Magic. RED DAMN MAGIC. WITH REMILIA'S LIFEBAR ALMOST DEPLETED. Cue FLAMING FISTS OF FURY on the desk.

I should definitely bomb more.

[reVelske]

Picked MoF back up after like 2 years since I last played any Touhou shmup, gone through stage 1 without any hiccups then lost all lives on Hina :V Didn't bothered to continue, quit the game straight after and went to cut myself.

[RegalStar]

So is Lunatic really that much more difficult than Hard, or do I just suck for not being able to even get past Stage 3 in PCB when I can 1cc Hard on a good day?

Maybe it's my crappy bombing reflex... I'm too used to being able to actually capture half the boss attacks that get thrown at me...

EDIT: Unrelated, but it seems that Touhou makes it hard for me to play non-danmaku shmups. I decided to give this one shmup game I played like twelve years ago a try, and found myself continuously running into bullets because I thought I could squeeze in between the gaps.

[チソウ タイゼン]

FUCK

Normal Mode game over on Rice Porridge in Tube
Hard Mode game over on Illusionary Dominance

EFF YOU SANAE
Enter St. 5 with 8 lives
exit with FOUR

[CrimsonDX]

EDIT: Unrelated, but it seems that Touhou makes it hard for me to play non-danmaku shmups. I decided to give this one shmup game I played like twelve years ago a try, and found myself continuously running into bullets because I thought I could squeeze in between the gaps.

Oh god I know exactly what you mean. The first shooter I ever really played was Touhou so any time I try to play a non-danmaku shmup I die trying to graze bullets >_<

[RegalStar]

FUCK

Normal Mode game over on Rice Porridge in Tube
Hard Mode game over on Illusionary Dominance

EFF YOU SANAE
Enter St. 5 with 8 lives
exit with FOUR

Sanae IIRC is half static half joke. Stage practice a lot to memorize her more difficult ones and laugh at the rest (lol The day the Sea split; lol Yasaka's divine wind).

[The Greatest Dog]

Except that I died to Yasaka's Divine Wind as it was 'sploding in my Lunatic 1cc.

Didn't stop me from dying to VoWG as it was exploding and was about to capture.

[Critz]

#$#@%#^$%#@. I think I should stop playing Touhou for failing so hard. Went for 1cc Normal UFO, and hit the extend cap after Ichirin. Nothing can go wrong, right!? Fucking wrong! Of course I had to start tripping over my own laces - death on S4, death on Nue, derp Murasa opener with 2 bombs, death on Phantom Ship Harbor, death near the beginning of S5, derp on Nazrin`s opener with 2 bombs, death near the end of the stage, 2-bomb derp on Radiant Treasure on yellow lasers because I got too close, death on Vajra. Started S6 with 3 lives. Death on Nue, then 2 derps on Byakuren`s opener (!). Then I ragequit on my last life.

Aesop: NEVER get too excited over 1cc until you actually get it...

[Aliquantic]

I finally managed my first target of breaking 1 billion on Phantasm (1.05 or so)... I should be happy, except I died very dumbly on Boundary of Human and Youkai and Border of Life and Death, with full bombs in stock both times.  :ohdear: Ten minutes seem to be an eternity when it comes to perfecting a stage...

[Sen]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROSFCEtoDtY

[jc_foster]

EoSD Normal, 5/2 entering stage 5. So I should finally get this 1cc, right? Sure, until I:

* miss the extend by timing out Misdirection
* die to Sakuya's last noncard due to trying to POC after Luna Dial
* die to S6!Sakuya's noncard(!) and to Eternal Meek

It's almost a wonder I still made it to Red Magic before game over.

[チソウ タイゼン]

I have effing had it with effing Kanako and her effing bullshit and those effing hitboxes and I am going to go to work and make myself a pizza because I am done with this and you and your face.

Peace.

[Paper Conan]

I have effing had it with effing Kanako and her effing bullshit and those effing hitboxes and I am going to go to work and make myself a pizza because I am done with this and you and your face.

Peace.

Really? I honestly suck at touhou, but I was really close to beating MoF Lunatic without continues. Obviously, VoWG raped me, but my point is that Kanako isn't so bad... compared to a certain Youkai Hartmann Girl..  :ohdear:

[チソウ タイゼン]

Really? I honestly suck at touhou, but I was really close to beating MoF Lunatic without continues. Obviously, VoWG raped me, but my point is that Kanako isn't so bad... compared to a certain Youkai Hartmann Girl..  :ohdear:

My Mountain of Faith 1CC attempt:
St1. Hahaha
St2. 2 Extend
St3. 2 Extend 1 Death
St4. 2 Deaths
St5. 2 Extend 3 Deaths
St6. Game Over on Heaven Stream

Score- 210M
Highscore.... 270M

:fail:

[CrimsonDX]

Really? I honestly suck at touhou, but I was really close to beating MoF Lunatic without continues. Obviously, VoWG raped me, but my point is that Kanako isn't so bad... compared to a certain Youkai Hartmann Girl..  :ohdear:

The fact that you can almost 1cc lunatic and you still say you suck at Touhou really pisses me off somehow....can barely beat normal mode ._.

[チソウ タイゼン]

The fact that you can almost 1cc lunatic and you still say you suck at Touhou really pisses me off somehow....can barely beat normal mode ._.

I think he means his play style?

[Zengeku]

The fact that you can almost 1cc lunatic and you still say you suck at Touhou really pisses me off somehow....can barely beat normal mode ._.

Being almost able to 1cc MoF Lunatic is not really an indicator of ability. The ridiculous amount of bombs makes it possible to bombspam through almost all of it.

[Jaimers]

Oh hay I just failed a perfect SA stage 4 lunatic on BoWaP.  :colonveeplusalpha:

[CrimsonDX]

Being almost able to 1cc MoF Lunatic is not really an indicator of ability. The ridiculous amount of bombs makes it possible to bombspam through almost all of it.

for someone who can barely get to a stage 6 boss on normal, let alone beat them (I have yet to beat a Touhou game on normal). Being able to survive past stage 1 of any lunatic mode is a sure sign of skill.


Anyways now for a contribution to the thread, After being able to capture Visionary Tuning on Normal many a time, I died to it on easy mode T_T

[nintendonut888]

Hmm, memo to self: Stop being an idiot. I think something just clicked on Blue UFOs that will let me do better in the future, and it once again involves me being an idiot about the card. Not that I plan to get serious at perfecting Nue.

*shudders*

[J.O.B]

Tried IN lunatic pacifist and no focus....
White screen at Mystia