Author Topic: Nietz and Flashtirade (Season 1)  (Read 627 times)

helvetica

  • Arcade Maid
  • *
  • United Federation
Nietz and Flashtirade (Season 1)
« on: October 07, 2009, 02:57:49 AM »
This thread is for the lovely lady Nietz to resist the gentleman's charm of Sir Flashtirade.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2009, 12:44:31 AM by Yagami Hayate »


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He thought that on that same day he was to take the city of Priam, but he little knew what was in the mind of Jove, who had many another hard-fought fight in store alike for Danaans and Trojans."


Fetch()tirade

  • serial time-waster
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2009, 01:13:38 PM »
Aww I have to be the guy?
Well, here goes the first try.

Is it by some twist of fate
   or someone's evil curse?
Has language finally left me?
   Have my lips sent for my hearse?
For I am plagued with such a sin
   that few could find worse:
I can express my love for you
  through no form save for verse.

Nietz

  • NEETz
  • *
  • Normal Person
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2009, 08:32:32 PM »
Well, that's nice for a first try, Flash dear. But it feels kind of canned, like you have a verse ready for any cheap floozie you find in a bar. You gotta be more creative or hard-working if you wanna win me~ 

Fetch()tirade

  • serial time-waster
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2009, 08:50:17 PM »
Well try this!

There is
no holy mount of faithful bound
no response to all their pleas
no phantasms of the blossoms' sight
or those in dreamers' weaves
no tales of the flower land
no story of easter eaves
no immortal and unending dark
no unmarred cherry leaves
no avatar of the reddest evil
no unbound airborne fantasies
no strength left unaccaounted for
and unable to seize
no polytheist underground
no blood-stained melodies
no magic equal rectanles
no bullet photography
on lunatic or any mode that can finish me with ease
But somehow just the sight of you can bring me to my knees.

Nietz

  • NEETz
  • *
  • Normal Person
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2009, 10:09:26 PM »
Well, yeah, poetic prowess is okay but... a love poem made almost entirely of negations? Reminds me of WS's sonnet 116, where he says "love" but is actually thinking of "I don't... you". Is it that you subconsciously associate me with "NO" in your mind?
Considering the effort some of the others suitors are putting forward would male me feel kinda cheap if I fell for some generic verses.

I would have some more words of reproval, but let's keep them for further failures~

Nietz

  • NEETz
  • *
  • Normal Person
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2009, 01:13:46 PM »
Oh Flash, wherefore art thou Flash?

I'm feeling lonely, cold and vulnerable alone here in this thread. I need someone to make me feel special~

Fetch()tirade

  • serial time-waster
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2009, 02:48:35 AM »
I have returned! The nights I spent so long alone,
in the cold and the dark upon my restless throne
of various books and baubles next to my table
while I was planning on what to do while I was still able
to work to the bone of my already-gaunt frame
against a labyrinth of due-dates that all were the same,
deprived me of time and labor and more of the two
that could have been spent directed towards you.
It was partly my fault, for I had forgotten
the importance of work over joy ill-begotten
as I sought the finer things in this life
while ignoring the problems and all of the strife
associated with this things. Now keep in mind
that we all have this problem, no matter what kind
of people we are, for that is just hole in the plot,
the protagonist loses sight of what is real and what is not.
But in my case, it had become particularly bad.
I had thrown my obligations away concerning what I had
to do in order to maintain my good name
to the public so that my honor might not turn to shame.
There was work to be done, but I had no intention to stay
and toil over those matters. I threw my burdens away
for I had considered they were worth not a dime,
and all of the world's troubles were a waste of my time.
But then I was forced, by circumstance only and not by the will
of the people (who, for some time, had long kept still
in silence, for fear of provoking the beast
laying dormant inside me, waiting to feast
on the flesh and bone of all those who crave
to oppose my free will and all that it gave),
to consider my place in my life and the earth
in consideration to those who desired my birth,
my future, my life. I saw the need to work and repay
everyone in my life (solely through work, to my personal dismay)
so that I might come into adulthood as a responsible man
who could devote himself willingly to someone else (preferably a woman).
And now, I am back and ready to play
the game of love that so many say
is easy and simple but then cannot succeed
for they do not recognize and consider the need
to devote themselves wholeheartedly to the task at hand;
to receive and reciprocate the love of a woman is grand
toil and should not be taken as light
for there are some who are willing to fight
in order to find their most perfect man,
and one must incorporate that into some coherent plan.
One must not rush at love blindly, for love is quite frail
nor can one plan meticulously or they are destined to fail.
But economy is a must, and so I must say
that I love you more and more with each passing day.

Nietz

  • NEETz
  • *
  • Normal Person
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2009, 11:15:53 PM »
Well, I must say I'm done being unimpressed by your poetry. If you composed it all on your own, I'm really impressed.
But what I've been trying to say is that it lacks a personal touch. I mean, it could apply to anyone else that got paired with you. Don't you have anything to say about me, "teh NEETz"?
Or you just see me as a little sexy piece of ID stepping stone?  :(

Fetch()tirade

  • serial time-waster
Re: Nietz and Flashtirade
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2009, 09:43:00 PM »
It's over already? I had not begun
to finish this battle that I was sure to have won!
For better viewing, highlight the passages before reading them. Thank you.

Well, I too so hope that all that I claim,
all of the wild thoughts that I tame

in my life and my time
do not already fall under some other name.
But 'tis true, what you state; it is clearly apparent
that my works are not personal, and that is inherent

in every verse and rhyme
simply because of my nature, isolated and errant.
Despite all my quips about all of my flaws,
I am obliged to adhere to the laws

of this challenge most sublime:
to enchant you, my Nietz, I will dive into the jaws
of any strange and wild creature, for you are my love,
and any lover must be ready to push and to shove

himself into perils and oozing grime
of perils and adventures and trials undreamed of.

So, yes. I'll attempt to be more exclusive
and focus on your love so elusive,

hidden in a maze of intellect
and the barrier of a nature so seemingly reclusive.
When it comes to idle chatter, you sometimes throw in
your two cents' worth, to the others' chagrin.

But also have I seen the effect
of your rhetoric as sharp as a pin.
And I also take note in your participation
in these "Mafia Games," I am overcome with fascination

for the system itself; I mean no disrespect,
but I am clueless to its workings (to my growing frustration)!
Yet clearly there is something enticing to you
in the complexity and clarity that I cannot view.

The amount of attention that you direct
onto even a matter so large is so strange and so new.

Is it so, my dear Nietz? Have I made a fault?
So bitter a wound unaffected by salt?

I did the best that I could while being bound
to the limited word choice in the rhyming vault.
I'll admit that it was difficult to thoroughly describe
you in enough words to neatly inscribe

your name forever into the ground
of the heavens above. It was hard to create a vibe.
But as I continue, I find myself gradually falling
in love; it appears I am constantly calling

your name in my sleep. My heart is wound
around your finger, to be cast off if found appalling.
I must add something; my love has a streak of envy,
but that is found in all love: it applies even to me

because in all of my pursuit, what I have found
is someone with a heart much like mine but so much more free.