What If ... v. 4.0 Shoot the Bullet

[Sssgth]

What if Sssgth met Beethoven?

I'd have him remix Septette for the Dead Princess, and he'd never realize its similarity to his own "Pathetique" due to his deafness.

What if I met Marisa?

[UnendingEmpire]

Things would either go wonderfully and you get a laser-shooting girlfriend, or they go terribly and she has a new target practice dummy.

What if I met Miko with my awful knowledge of the Japanese language?

[frostare]

She can still listen to you, a translator, 7 others desiring to meet her and someone gawking at her hair at the same time.

What if there was a supervillain and superhero 2hu?

[Esper]

What if there was a supervillain and superhero 2hu?

Either
1. It wouldn't cause any difference due to the spell card system superceding all violent conflict.
2. The denizens of Gensokyo would kill these super<affinity> characters off for the sake of protecting themselves and maintaining the preexisting order/balance of the world. Yes, it's basically punishment before the crime. Yama is after, paranoia is before.

What if DoDonPachi x Touhou?

[Evil_Nazgul0616]

Saidaioujou Hibachi as Extra Boss.
Moe-ified Zatsuza as Phantasm Boss...

What if Touhou x Final Fantasy Mystic Quest?
Actually, scratch that. Here's a better one:
What if the Dark King from Final Fantasy Mystic Quest ended up in Gensokyo?

[Leon゠Helsing]

Judging from the vid, anyone with a good enough holy affinity (most likely Reimu, Sanae, or Byakuren) would have an easy time wiping the floor with him (provided there's a healer backing up). <- Has never played Mystic Quest.

What if Yggdra Union x Touhou?

[frostare]

No need to justify the sword's actions, prove it with danmaku!

What if Dragon Quest x Touhou?

[Cybeast710]

No need to justify the sword's actions, prove it with danmaku!

What if Dragon Quest x Touhou?

MORE BAD PUNS THAN A CHUGGAACONROY LP. YAY.

What if everybody had lucid dreams every single night?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Goodness, that would be beyond fantastic.

What if USS Nimitz?

[game2011]

Someone is going to shout "Touhou x Kantai Collection crossover" anytime soon...

What if a group of dedicated Touhou fans who are also movie producers got ZUN's approval to make a Touhou movie (2D/3D animation or live action, your choice)?  It received TONS of advertising, making it look like it would be the greatest movie of the year.  However, the producers used more or less only fanon portrayals, thus "burning" into the heads of the public concepts like masochist Tenshi, lazy and incompetent Meiling, NEET Kaguya, poor and starving Reimu, etc.  The movie got mixed reception, but fans of the series were less than pleased that the producers used almost only fanon stuff.  ZUN wasn't fond of it for the same reason as well.

[TresserT]

Wait a minute, those aren't canon?!?
It would be made by the sae people who made that live action DBZ movie, or the people who made the last air bender movie.

What if Greek gods found there way to Gensokyo?

[game2011]

Wait a minute, those aren't canon?!?

No.  Reimu's is exaggerated, though.

Anyway...

Genderbent Poseidon laments at the lack of a sea.

What if someone who believes that the series is dead because s/he doesn't like the recent games and that s/he can save it by making games better than the ones ZUN made and thus tries to buy the series from him?

[Leon゠Helsing]

That person's bound to fail, I don't think ZUN would sell his brainchildren for even all the riches in the world and then some.

What if Yukari really was a time-displaced Maribel who fully manifested her powers?

[UnendingEmpire]

The people who theorized it would raise their mugs in joy

What if Yoshika was playable next game?

[Failure McFailFace]

Genderbent Poseidon laments at the lack of a sea.

There's lakes, though.

What if Yoshika was playable next game?

OM NOM NOM'ing bullets. Activated with C. Hold C to eat lasers.

What if everything fanon was canon?

[KingofBaka]

Then everything canon becomes fanon.

What if Battle Fantasia x Touhou?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Necro Fantasia.

What if Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum?

[game2011]

Reimu: Who's Lincoln?

What if ZUN believes that in order for the series to appeal to the West, he should change some of the characters' names into English-sounding ones?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Reimu: Who's Lincoln?

A dwarf. Me.

Doesn't the series appeal to many Westerners too?

What if Mima ceases to appear in Touhou 15?

[game2011]

Doesn't the series appeal to many Westerners too?

To the majority that is unaware of the series.

Anyway...

That means she's likely exorcised and thus is never coming back.

What if Lily White suffers from split personality and her "other" personality is Lily Black?

[Cybeast710]

To the majority that is unaware of the series.

Anyway...

That means she's likely exorcised and thus is never coming back.

What if Lily White suffers from split personality and her "other" personality is Lily Black?

...Sorry. I'm going to have point out this contradicts her canon of Lily Black being Lily White cosplaying as Shikieiki. Although I have to wonder what makes her think its a good idea to get between a Yama and her target, then shoot bullets at said Yama.

What if I had a question to put here?

[Leon゠Helsing]

It would be...something, I guess.

What if ZUN decided to work with Yoko Taro (responsible for Drakengard 1 & 3, and Nier) and Suda51 for the next Touhou game?

[game2011]

...Sorry. I'm going to have point out this contradicts her canon of Lily Black being Lily White cosplaying as Shikieiki. Although I have to wonder what makes her think its a good idea to get between a Yama and her target, then shoot bullets at said Yama.

You don't get the point of this topic, don't you?

I would appreciate it if someone would answer my question again.

[Cybeast710]

You don't get the point of this topic, don't you?

I would appreciate it if someone would answer my question again.

OK, I'll answer your question again.

That explains why she's so dumb as to not realize what everyone thinks of her, because her limited IQ has to be split among the two.

[an unmatched sock]

OK, I'll answer your question again.

That explains why she's so dumb as to not realize what everyone thinks of her, because her limited IQ has to be split among the two.

Wow... I was going to say that she has that seasonal personality thing, and became Lily Black near the end of summer, when she'd go and hide away all sad spring's over until it got to be spring again and she'd turn back to Lily White, but dang...someone doesn't like Spring.

What if someone else could answer Leonard's question because I don't know what he's referring to?

[Abraham Lincoln]

What if someone else could answer Leonard's question because I don't know what he's referring to?

Then that man deserves some real recognition, and maybe even a cookie or two.

What if Leonard was an Acolyte?

[Leon゠Helsing]

My lack of experience will most likely lead to some bad calls.

What if Tumblr Social "Justice" Warriors discovered Touhou?

[Abraham Lincoln]

Not a soul would care about their identity, because more fans equals more happiness!

What if Touhou characters had hitbox sizes relative to their fan following?

[game2011]

Games are unbeatable with Reimu, because every time someone fires a shot, she dies.

What if Reimu doesn't get first place in the next character popularity poll?  This question has no relation to the answer above, so please do not treat it as such.

[Leon゠Helsing]

Fans would suspect Seija of reversing the poll.

What if someone simply flew over the Forest of Magic?