>If this is a kingdom, is there a king? If not, shouldn't this be a queendom?
> What's a man? More importantly, are they shiny?
>There aren't many men in the Fairy Kingdom, and normally their job is to deal with all the boring stuff that comes with running a country (polly-ticks and fy-nahns and stuff). King Oberon is too busy with his work to make many public appearances, but Queen Titania more than makes up for it - she takes time to name every little fairy that comes into the world. Plus girls get to do all the cool stuff like go into space.
> "Are 'Liv-in Coo-arse-ers' and 'Ann-ginny Room' my crewmates?"
> "Negative. Your crewmates total seventy-three privates, 8 lieutenants, medical personnel, CO Bootstrap and Captain Blackwing. The captain is currently away dealing with a crew member who attempted to steal a vital component of the ship's exterior."
That was way too many long words for you to follow, but it probably had to do with that 'crime' you witnessed earlier.
> Let's be perfectly frank, the CO is likely to have the most shinies. Let us learn from them.
>You follow Ada into the living quarters. A huge corridor opens up in front of you, and at both sides are the largest bunk beds you've ever seen. Some would settle for putting two beds on top of each other, but fairies kick reason to the curb and won't settle for bunk beds with less than a dozen stories. Each bed has a little name tag next to it so its owner can claim their spot - though it looks like it'd be easy to rub out.
"Officer Bootstrap," Ada starts, "I've brought you the latest re-"
Before she can finish, a voice booms out from the closest bed.
"Shaddap, ya no-good hunka scrap! Don't interrupt yer CO when she's havin' some beauty sleep!"
The covers are pulled aside to reveal a fairy in a foul mood. Her dress is patterned with khaki camo, and her helmet perpetually covers her eyes from view.
You barely notice this, though. You're focused on the plethora of
INCREDIBLY SHINY MEDALS attached to her dress. There are literally dozens of them, and they sparkle every time she so much as moves. She must spend hours polishing them to that sheen.
"So, yer the last of 'em, huh?" CO Bootstrap circles you, her wings lazily flapping to keep her a few inches off the floor. She looks at your name tag for an instant before pulling her head back. "Oh, for the love of glitter, you're one-a them edumacated types, ain't ya? The kind that'd rather read a book than chase a puppy or catch a sunset or shoot an alien in the face?"
You are not, of course. You aren't even sure if that sort of fairy actually exists. But your name doesn't seem to have given off the best first impression.
