Author Topic: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)  (Read 41504 times)

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #570 on: August 16, 2011, 09:49:28 AM »
>"Yes."

>"I was afraid of that. You're a very special person, in more ways than one, but you're still human. And you're channeling an immense power. I'm not certain if that alone is the problem, that it's just your body hasn't adapted to that power yet, or if you didn't expel enough energy against the youma. Either way, you can't stay in your transformed state. Not without doing yourself considerable damage.

Hello Purvis

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #571 on: August 16, 2011, 09:55:27 AM »
>"Then let's conclude this issue quickly. You told me that I would heal that being. Now it is dead. Why did you lie to me?"

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #572 on: August 16, 2011, 10:08:58 AM »
>"Then let's conclude this issue quickly. You told me that I would heal that being. Now it is dead. Why did you lie to me?"

>"Weren't you listening? It was never alive in the first place, no more than a hammer, or a missile. It was a tool, just a doll, with an invader pulling it's strings. All it was was suffering and grief, which you ended. What you did was restore it to its proper form."
>"Incidentally, now that it's been purfied, it has the potential to become a true youkai again, with a genuine life. What that life holds, I don't know, I don't know that ring's story. But, thanks to you, the world has at least a few more days of future, in which anything can happen."
>The pain in your head worsens, and has now spread to the whole of your arms. It feels like your bones are growing too big for your skin.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2011, 10:11:39 AM by Sourfang »

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #573 on: August 16, 2011, 10:13:28 AM »
>"Puppets do not speak or act independently. They do not react to changing circumstances. They do not learn. This being did all of those things. You directed me to kill it under the guise of healing it. Why? Why did you lie to me?"

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #574 on: August 16, 2011, 10:24:38 AM »
>"Puppets do not speak or act independently. They do not react to changing circumstances. They do not learn. This being did all of those things. You directed me to kill it under the guise of healing it. Why? Why did you lie to me?"

>"This is going to be a very dificult partnership if you're going to be obstinate about things. You can't kill something that was never alive. Some vestige of the objects history may have surfaced, maybe even a vestage of the creature it could become- potential has a great deal of power, too, by the way. It was unstable, haven't I made that clear? No, I suppose not. You're still only human. I shouldn't expect so much. Let me put this as simply as I can. You're wrong. It was not alive as you are, it was a... 'golem', I think the term was, at best. You didn't kill it anymore than you could kill a gun."
>The pain spreads throughout your torso. You swear you can almost see your skin streching, and you start to feel hot. Very hot.

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #575 on: August 16, 2011, 10:30:21 AM »
>"No, I don't think we can work together if you hold life so cheaply you will trick others into destroying it. It was alive enough that it could react and learn, that is enough to make it worth preserving. Instead, you chose to discard it, and you used me as your tool to do so. If this is how you intend things to be, it is best we save ourselves the trouble of pretending this will ever work out and go our separate ways."
>There are likely words to end the transformation. Try to call them to mind.

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #576 on: August 17, 2011, 12:29:01 AM »
>"No, I don't think we can work together if you hold life so cheaply you will trick others into destroying it. It was alive enough that it could react and learn, that is enough to make it worth preserving. Instead, you chose to discard it, and you used me as your tool to do so. If this is how you intend things to be, it is best we save ourselves the trouble of pretending this will ever work out and go our separate ways."

>You hear the psychic equivilent of a sigh as the doll shakes its little head and stands on its little feet. Blue and white sparks creep into the edges of your vision.
>"I suppose this is partly my fault. I may not have explained it in a way that you can understand. I haven't been corporeal for a long time, after all. I never tricked you, I never lied to you, I never used you, and you're wrong about it having any life. It might have life one day- You might actually give it life, for all I know. Your power's unlike any of the others."
>"On the other hand, it may not be my fault, and you simply may be a stubborn, foolish human girl who won't admit she's wrong, or that the being that actually knows what it's talking about tries to tell you about what you just fought, and what you'll have to fight again. Thanks to your victory here, we have some time to waste on your mistrust. I wouldn't take too long, if I were you, though.
>The doll pauses, cocking it's head to the side as it looks at you. "All this is probably going over your head now, isn't it? I somehow don't think humans listen at their best when they're in as much pain as I think you're in."

>There are likely words to end the transformation. Try to call them to mind.

>You search your mind for the charm to end your transformation. This proves to be a very difficult task as your mind, like your body, is wracked with extreme pain. Your thoughts flick around your head like a drunken hummingbird, leaving you unable to pin any of them down for more than a fleeting instant.
>"There's a few ways you can return to your human state, Lotus." the doll offers. "It'll become easier and easier over time, and I'm almost certain this problem won't come up again, or at least not as pronounced. But this way might work best in this case. If, of course, you're willing to listen to me."
>Given that your very soul feels like it's on fire, listening to the doll on this one would be a very good idea.
>"Right now, you've got a hold of an incalculable amount of raw power, like holding on to- what would be the thing in this time...? Power lines. Live wires. Like you've got your hands wrapped around live wires. Picture that image in your mind... and let the cables go.

GuyYouMetOnline

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #577 on: August 17, 2011, 01:45:58 AM »
>Do that.
>"Fine. So I didn't kill it because it wasnt ever alive. It seems, then, that we have differing definitions of 'alive'. And that is not the only thing you have told me that I cannot agree with."
>"You say that there is nothing my friends can do to help me, but you are wrong. Even if they can't fight-which I'm not prepared to accept just yet; some of them arent as helpless as you seem to think-they can help in other ways. You say that I must bear this burden alone, but I already know that I cannot. I can fight only because of them. I need them to be there for me, even if they can't join me in battle. There are other ways to work against this threat, is more to this than just pure combat. And in addition, as I said before, I will not lie to them. I will need them, but even if I didn't, I would not lie to them. I will tell them the truth; I owe them that much. Yes, this will mean they will share in my burden, but I believe they will do so gladly, and they are stronger than you seem to think, And together, we can do far more than I ever could alone."

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #578 on: August 17, 2011, 02:30:42 AM »
>"You say that there is nothing my friends can do to help me, but you are wrong. Even if they can't fight-which I'm not prepared to accept just yet; some of them arent as helpless as you seem to think-they can help in other ways. You say that I must bear this burden alone, but I already know that I cannot. I can fight only because of them. I need them to be there for me, even if they can't join me in battle. There are other ways to work against this threat, is more to this than just pure combat. And in addition, as I said before, I will not lie to them. I will need them, but even if I didn't, I would not lie to them. I will tell them the truth; I owe them that much. Yes, this will mean they will share in my burden, but I believe they will do so gladly, and they are stronger than you seem to think, And together, we can do far more than I ever could alone."

>"Time will tell, hero of the heart. Time will tell. You may indeed prove right, on even more fronts than either one of us can see."

>"Fine. So I didn't kill it because it wasnt ever alive. It seems, then, that we have differing definitions of 'alive'. And that is not the only thing you have told me that I cannot agree with."

>The doll nods in agreement. "That is understandable. And I'm sure you have many more questions, as well, about a great many things But let's straighten you out first."

>Do that.

>Even with a bit of guidance, forming a mental image at all is not an easy task, as you're also devoting so much effort not to fall to the ground and scream. But after what feels like an eternity, you manage to form the doll's suggestion in your mind. And when you let the power lines go in your mind's eye, the effect is profound. The force acting upon you seems to flow out of you in all directions, and you let out a breath that feels volcanically hot on your lips. All the energy, excess and otherwise, leaves your body in a rush, and you find yourself on your knees before you even realize it. Your body is free of fire, but it feels like somebody dropped a mountain atop your shoulders. You didn't think it was possible to feel so completely exausted, physically or mentally. You feel your consciousness fading.
>"It'll be easier to make the change next time, even if the fight might not be. But for today, your fight is done. You've earned your rest, Lotus."

GuyYouMetOnline

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #579 on: August 17, 2011, 03:43:23 AM »
>If we can manage it before passing out, drag the pair out of the shed.
>Then pass out.

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1
« Reply #580 on: August 17, 2011, 09:45:00 AM »
>If we can manage it before passing out, drag the pair out of the shed.
>Then pass out.

>You try to rise to your feet. At least you think you do, even thinking about the attempt makes your head swim, presenting you with a rather pretty vision of color swirls dancing before your eyes, before your head hits the ground. Some time passes, and you hear something... an engine, off in the distance. A small shadow passes before your eyes before they shut, and you can hear a strange voice speaking very softly, "I'm sorry." The shadow passes, a larger shadow takes its place, and for a moment, you think you hear someone shouting. Then nothing.

>The first sensation you have next is a smell. A very pleasant smell. Raspberries? Yes, that is indeed raspberries, which draws you back into the world of the living, at least partially. You open your eyes, but somehow this act feels like pushing your apartment building. You feel weaker than a newborn kitten, but you automatically recognize where you are: your room in Moonside. The room is rather bright, you suspect it's daylight outside, and the raspberry smell is coming from the small kitchen down the hall. Lifting your head off the pillow of your bed is a massive undertaking, but you manage it after a couple of attempts, and with a couple of groans. You can hear the sounds of puttering from the kitchen, as well as the sound of soft breathing from the floor by your bed. A look (not a quick one, for you think turning your head too quickly would make you pass out) reveals the sleeping form of Rin in her futon. The events of the past day come rushing back to you as you see her form, and you feel a dull ache forming on top of the other dull aches all over your body. This particular dull ache is born of worry, given the state you saw in her moments (from your perspective) ago, but unlike then, this time she seems to be resting peacefuly. Her left ear is even twitching slightly, which you've come to know is a sign she's having a good dream. You breathe a sigh of relief, and it feels like whatever strength is left on your body leaves with your breath. Remaining in a seated position isn't going to be easy for much longer, but the sight of Minoriko coming out of the kitchen keeps you there for a moment longer. That would explain the smell of cooking, as well.

>She explains how Nitori found you, and the others, near the school sports fields, and called an ambulance. She detected a strange smell in the air, but the arriving doctors couldn't smell it themselves. They figured it was a gas leak of some kind. They looked over each of you, and determined that you'd all be fine once you had some good rest at home. This seems odd even to your still-exausted brain, but Minoriko assures you that you all received a thorough check over on the scene, and the doctor in charge of the scene saw no need to truck the lot of you to the hospital when your own beds would do just as well. And if Nitori had taken issue with this, Minoriko adds with a smile, the ruckus she would have raised would have roused you all on the spot. She's a very... spunky little thing, after all. So she carried the two of you back herself, where you'd been resting ever since. She adds that, although Rin's sleep was rather peaceful, you seemed to be having a lot of dreams, not many of them good. She caught you mumbling things about a ring, a doll you couldn't trust, and a bat with green eyes, among other things. Unlike the other crazy and disturbing visions you've had since this affair began, you have no memory of those. She says you seemed the most agitated when you were muttering about 'the old man in the molten throne room.' and something about 'the walls... the walls...' This tugs at your memory for an instant, then it is gone again.
>Which reminds her of something, evidently, and she compliments you on your new accessories, and wonders where you got them from. Puzzled, you ask what she means, and she crosses the room to your desk, and retreives the items in question: a small, plain gold ring,  and a stylized lotus-blossom hairpin. She also points to the violet ring with a white gemstone on your hand.
>Recalling your declarations to the doll about total disclosure of yesterday's events to your friends takes a moment, but it does come to you. You start to explain, but Minoriko holds up her hand. She can plainly see that you're still drained to empty, and curious though she may be, as are all your friends, she tells you it can wait, and that you need your rest. Despite your new mission, you find you can't argue with her on this one. You thank her, for her concern, and ask her to pass along the sentiment to Nitori as well. Minoriko nods and offers you that motherly smile of hers, before returning to the kitchen. Looking down at Rin one more time, you remember the greenish glow that surrounded her, and how weak Lily and the others looked after you'd won. Things could have been worse. Much, much worse. But they won't ever be that bad, not if Byakuren Hijiri, Magical Lotus, Hero of the Heart, has anything to say about it. No matter how powerful a foe you face, no matter how much deception you must sift through, no matter how many secrets you must unravel, you will keep this world, and all who dwell upon it, safe.

>Laying your head upon your pillow again, your eyes close easily, and you can't help but wonder fleetingly, before sleep claims you, just what the future holds...

>Magical Lotus Episode 1: End.

Hello Purvis

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #581 on: August 17, 2011, 09:51:12 AM »
>Dream of electric sheep, and totally not about the fact we killed a person.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2011, 10:08:41 AM by Killer Purvis »

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #582 on: August 17, 2011, 01:14:05 PM »
This concludes episode one of my first foray into parsing. I realize this is a bit of an unorthodox format, but it's the route I wanted to go. Episode two will launch in a day or two, after I iron out a couple of bugs.
However, in the meantime, I am perfectly open to feedback; questions, comments, critisism. If there's something you wanted in the next installment, feel free to say so, and I'll try to accomodate it. Something you're curious about that I can answer without revealing what's to come, feel free to ask.

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #583 on: August 17, 2011, 01:32:05 PM »
Did we break it? =[

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #584 on: August 17, 2011, 08:00:40 PM »
I beg your pardon?

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #585 on: August 17, 2011, 08:24:38 PM »
To be more specific, did many unexpected character actions, or lacks of actions, take place?

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #586 on: August 18, 2011, 01:00:41 AM »
To be more specific, did many unexpected character actions, or lacks of actions, take place?

All over the place. Which was actually a good lesson for me, and for any other potential parser reading this little tale: Your players will do things you don't expect them to.
When you dealt with the Yuyuko situation, I expected you to chuckle at her naievety, and basically go on your way. Instead, Purvis and Mouse scare the bajeezus out of the crowd of gawkers and threatened them into good behavoir.
I also didn't expect you to tell the little doll is basically get lost towards the end. It was a source of answers, of information, the most reliable one you'd had so far, and Purvis could have driven a wedge between you and it, but Guy seems to have salvaged that.
The biggest unexpected act, however, was Kips basically tripping over the plot. When you first saw the dolls, I expected you to remark about the oddness of the new fad, that it was so big overnight, and then head off to Rin and Reisen's work. Instead, Kips went back and touched one of them. That was an opportunity too good to pass up, but one I certainly never expected to have. This was compounded by Purvis basically pitching Byakuren over a flight of stairs. So instead of a stroll through the town with your friends leading to a scene with Koakuma, and then going from there, you end up in the infirmary with a mild concussion, and get a scene with Marissa and Utsuho.
I was kinda hoping to get you laid before the end, but opportunities for that seem to be more limited than I'd anticipated. I'll work on that in the subsequent chapters.

Kasu

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #587 on: August 18, 2011, 01:31:17 AM »
All over the place. Which was actually a good lesson for me, and for any other potential parser reading this little tale: Your players will do things you don't expect them to.
When you dealt with the Yuyuko situation, I expected you to chuckle at her naievety, and basically go on your way. Instead, Purvis and Mouse scare the bajeezus out of the crowd of gawkers and threatened them into good behavoir.
I also didn't expect you to tell the little doll is basically get lost towards the end. It was a source of answers, of information, the most reliable one you'd had so far, and Purvis could have driven a wedge between you and it, but Guy seems to have salvaged that.
The biggest unexpected act, however, was Kips basically tripping over the plot. When you first saw the dolls, I expected you to remark about the oddness of the new fad, that it was so big overnight, and then head off to Rin and Reisen's work. Instead, Kips went back and touched one of them. That was an opportunity too good to pass up, but one I certainly never expected to have. This was compounded by Purvis basically pitching Byakuren over a flight of stairs. So instead of a stroll through the town with your friends leading to a scene with Koakuma, and then going from there, you end up in the infirmary with a mild concussion, and get a scene with Marissa and Utsuho.
I was kinda hoping to get you laid before the end, but opportunities for that seem to be more limited than I'd anticipated. I'll work on that in the subsequent chapters.
That...  That is pretty damn amusing.  I've been lurking around a lot, but I should probably join in the next chapter.

Apparently, Thomas the Tank Engine isn't one to take crap from anyone.

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #588 on: August 18, 2011, 05:34:58 AM »
All over the place. Which was actually a good lesson for me, and for any other potential parser reading this little tale: Your players will do things you don't expect them to.
When you dealt with the Yuyuko situation, I expected you to chuckle at her naievety, and basically go on your way. Instead, Purvis and Mouse scare the bajeezus out of the crowd of gawkers and threatened them into good behavoir.
I also didn't expect you to tell the little doll is basically get lost towards the end. It was a source of answers, of information, the most reliable one you'd had so far, and Purvis could have driven a wedge between you and it, but Guy seems to have salvaged that.
The biggest unexpected act, however, was Kips basically tripping over the plot. When you first saw the dolls, I expected you to remark about the oddness of the new fad, that it was so big overnight, and then head off to Rin and Reisen's work. Instead, Kips went back and touched one of them. That was an opportunity too good to pass up, but one I certainly never expected to have. This was compounded by Purvis basically pitching Byakuren over a flight of stairs. So instead of a stroll through the town with your friends leading to a scene with Koakuma, and then going from there, you end up in the infirmary with a mild concussion, and get a scene with Marissa and Utsuho.
I was kinda hoping to get you laid before the end, but opportunities for that seem to be more limited than I'd anticipated. I'll work on that in the subsequent chapters.

Yeah I've been there.

But yeah, the doll thing shouldn't be too unexpected, given that Byakuren's whole deal is extending love to those who don't have it and bringing in the marginalized, to the point she was literally sent to another dimension for it. Abnd this person was pretty much tricked into executing someone whom couldn't pose a threat to her. Frankly, it's going to take something massive get her to trust that doll ever again. I imagine it's probably going to be a huge source of trauma for her pretty much the rest of the game, you don't just get over blatantly violating everything you believe.

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #589 on: August 18, 2011, 06:25:44 AM »
I can see we'll have to clear up that misconception sooner, rather than later, then. I'll add that to the to do list.

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #590 on: August 18, 2011, 06:35:37 AM »
Indeed. The next argument is going to be fun~

Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #591 on: August 20, 2011, 10:47:59 AM »
So I have things in order for episode 2. A couple of issues were brought to my attention, and I've done my best to adress them. I realize that this is my first project, and it shows, but we can't all start off as good as Purvis and Draco. I strive to improve. And I might add, I think you Purvis, Guy, for bringing this episode to its conclusion. And you're more than welcome to do more than lurk in the coming episodes, Kasu. And that goes for anyone else lurking about.

However, the family vacation is in a few days time, and I'll be away for the better part of two weeks, so, I think I'll wait until I get back before starting episode 2. Not much sense in starting up a new installment, getting to page 3 or 4, and then having to put it on the shelf for a week and a half.

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Re: Magical Lotus - Episode 1 (Complete)
« Reply #592 on: August 20, 2011, 10:58:24 AM »
You did well once things got going. Don't be too hard on yourself. =]