So, uh, is this supposed to be based on something else? Because ... I'm going to be honest, I have no idea who these characters are, it's not clear how they relate to each other, and I have very little idea of what's going on. And the "waffles" joke was pretty much taken straight from one of the actual Walfas flash-comics.
You kind of need to spend more time establishing the characters and who they are and what the situation is; for instance, I'd've had a first panel of Naeru just standing there, second panel Hodou showing up (preferably by flying) and making some remark about "what, are you still looking?" and then the third panel would have had the dialogue from your first two panels. On that note, it was kind of a waste of space to have the first two lines of dialogue there be in separate panels. The scene transition was also awkwardly done; yes, you might want to outright say "no one knows what happened next," but it's far better to depict them just disappearing or something. No one knows anything
else about them, so what does "what specifically happened next" matter? The "Next morning, at the house of the Sapphiere family ..." should appear
in the panel where the house appears.
The composition's also a bit sloppy. For instance, in the second panel of the first comic, Hodou's face hasn't changed from the first panel, as if he was still talking; you also did something similar with the mom (or whoever she's supposed to be; you could have at least had Haley
call her "mom" or something) in the second comic. The speech-bubbles and the text inside them also seriously never fit well with each other, either. Several of the panels on the last couple seem stretched or squashed somehow, too. The "zoom in on the corner of the door with the characters scaled down" was moderately clever, but the backgrounds were scaled up way too much to begin with, so it's really better to just stick with indoor-settings. ... and now that I look, the baby's head in the first two comics is pretty much completely obscuring the mom's face, so it's hard to see her facial expression.
Speaking of which, you also need to pay closer attention to characters' facial expressions. It's not enough to go "this is a frown," "this is a smile," "these are angry eyebrows," you actually need to figure out what looks good, how to express each character best, etc. (That face Lina had in the panel where she first appears? I seriously would not use that one under any circumstances.) Naeru's face is ... pretty much fine in the second panel, if you were trying to make her look youthful and recalcitrant, but on Hodou it just looks kind of weird. I mean, here, I pretty much composed this under the assumption that we'd had an initial panel with Naeru standing by alone, then a second panel with Hodou coming up behind her.
That said, notice how Hodou's expression is more ... subdued. I mean, if you wanted them
both to be youthful and recalcitrant, that's one thing, but it's best to have a contrast in general. I also added speed-lines to show that Naeru was angrily turning around to face him; Create.swf is severely limited, and it's best to
extensively use other tools to augument it.
... This turned out a lot longer than I expected, and I've barely gotten out of the first few panels. The mom is tilted
way too far forward in the "Lina is wating for you outside" panel ... it's weird to have the Haley's friend just standing around chatting with Haley's dad ... I haven't even
touched the grammar and punctuation ... argh.
