Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: Tengukami on October 01, 2009, 09:50:27 PM
-
Write me an epic poem detailing the Linux penguin and the BSD daemon fighting the evil of Gates and Jobs.
furthermore, this poem must be written in the style of scandanavian epic
you will get points for kenning use and casesoras
Then did the penguin rise at dawn filled he was on sea-sparrows from last eve
He donned his helm and geek-splitter and rode westward to meet the foe he must cleave
Partitioned his disk, he feared nothing afore him adware bandits ignored him, and so safe wast he
When the sky-scorcher soared highest he saw appear on yon horizon, a wee red man
Two horns hast he, and a small barbed tail holding a three-pronged nerd-piercer in hand
He rode to him swiftly and spoke to him thus "Art thou not just, would you die for this land?"
"Aye" said the daemon "for though I am small and few know my name from here to the earth's sill
I have heard of you, penguin, and your noble feats and would ride with you, lending the force of mine will
To defeat Ye Smarmy One, Jobs the Bald-Headed and Ye Great Dreaded Overlord of Darkness, Bill."
"Let us ride then" sayeth the penguin, and ride then they did over earth-tits, across water-serpents, glens and heath
Until they came at last to the valley of silicon the air so thick with neckbeard sweat, it was hard to breathe
"We hath arrived, daemon" sayeth the penguin Sayeth the daemon, "Call me Keith."
When suddenly a rumbling arose from the south and the hideous Jobs rose, drooling, scalp shining
"Think different!" he bellowed, his foul breath flooding and the penguin and Keith wast heavily prespiring
Yet neither pants-soiled and neither stepped back to attack was what the two were conspiring
"Thou fraud!" yelled the penguin, and with his geek-splitter hacked "You who wears the cloak of the hipster, the cool
Are naught but a shadow of thine Father, Bill, from whom thou learned everything, yes, he was your school!
Aye, behold!" sayeth the penguin, his blade held aloft reflecting what oft Jobs ignored as a rule
And yea, when Jobs beheld what he was in the reflection he saw, he shrieked, his fists curled
and fell to the ground, and his brain-gourd split open and from within they did see the contents unfurled
the next generation of a smudgy P.O.S. "What a mess" said the penguin. Sayeth Keith, "I might hurl."
But lo - they did not cheer, nor celebrate long for then the sky darkened, clouds faded away
The moon ran blood-red, stars fell to the ground birds pissed with fear, the earth started to sway
And the penguin and Keith raised their blades to the sun for The Dark One, Bill, was coming their way
Mere words cannot carry how fearsome Bill was the strongest man would sooner eat his own hands
Before even so much as thinking of turning an ant-blink's look at this horror, this thing-not-a-man
And so Bill gripped within his iron claws and razor-jaws the whole of the land.
But the penguin and Keith, did not falter nor quake they dug in their heels, raised their geek-slashers high
They roared with all their might, stamped their legs shook their arms, sent their blood-curses to the sky
And they charged at Bill, with the aim to rend to bring him to an end, they saw his death nigh.
And yet Bill did not see them, knew not they were there He stood there, smiling, as if the penguin and Keith were but mist
Astounded, they yelled louder, but Bill did not hear Their air-daggers hurt him not, he raised nary a fist
The penguin and Keith were left baffled, they could not believe this thing they would cleave didn't know they exist.
Bill sits there still, his throne, growing moss He still owns the land, his power is secure
The penguin and Keith, did not win, but did not die They live on, and though small, their aims are still sure
And each in the valley can chose what hero he will the choice is there still, as long as Bill's blindness endures.
-
Epic
And some good writing too.
-
Now sing it.
-
すげええええええええええええ!!!!
So Epic! T-T
-
NOT ENOUGH KENNINGS
nice use of half-striche
-
Welp, I guess dustyjo was right, I am the demons.
-
Ahaha awesome you actually did it.
-
Dear Ammy
I approve. It could do with more kennings and allusions, but that is more stylistic than anything.
Yours,
Dr. Reginald Belliphron Purvis
-
Yes, re-reading it, I see that in the beginning I was trying to pack in too many kennings, and so pulled back to too few kennings in the latter half to balance it out.
-
すげwwwwwww
なにこれw
ええええええええw
-
i think you ned more kennings.
also more awesome alliteration
now write about CPMC ya twit
-
An epic poem about CPMC will take a bit longer.
Just so no one gets their feelings hurt by being excluded, if you want to be mentioned in the CPMC poem, say so here. DEADLINE IS MIDNIGHT GMT, OCTOBER 2 (at which time it will become October 3) so if you don't say you want in by then, tough titty said the kitty.
On the list so far:
Dragoshi
Ruro
Purvis
Zengar
Sanasanasanasanasanasanasan
Nobu
Jan
Drake
Slaves
MJP
Flashtirade
dustyjo
Mode
Gpop
TSO
Moerin
A-F
-
Sure, why not. I am curious as to see how this will go.
-
There are some sexy, sexy alliterations in this. Of course I want to be in on it.
-
I am an attention courtesan, thank you very much.
-
/me rips Purvis' lungs out.
-
new E-mouse toy
lung ripping action included
costs extra
-
You are insufficiently treasure hunter to achieve this action.
-
Slaves has revived of Dysentery.
Also count me in.
-
I like being included. :S
-
Count me in as well. :3
-
Oh, how fun~ With so many other people signing up, would you be able to squeeze me in a line or so?
-
Have fun trying to fit in so many people.
Including me.
-
i'm in by default.
-
I want:
A) In on the poem
B) Someone to do an Iron Maiden-style metal version of Ammy's first poem there
NEEDS MORE CHUN-CHUGGACHUN-CHUGGACHUN-CHUGGACHUN-CHUGGACHUN-CHUGGACHUN-CHUGGACHUUUUNUUUA and Bill Whatshisface going "WhoooooaaaaAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEYEAAAAAH!"
-
Count me in as well. :3
-
Me goddammit
-
>:3
-
>:3
Is this a "yes include me" or ... ?
-
learn Modespeak, Ammy.
-
Me.
CPMC needs an idiot like me.
-
learn Modespeak, Ammy.
Can I get a translation then?
Screw it, I'm going with "yes".
-
Can I get a translation then?
Screw it, I'm going with "yes".
e we
-
OK, now that I know means approval.
See? I'm learning.
-
I am disgusted that my name did not automatically show up on the list without me asking.
-
I am disgusted that my name did not automatically show up on the list without me asking.
It's just so that everyone who wants in, gets in. I don't want to leave out anyone who wants inclusion, nor do I want to include anyone who'd rather abstain. I wouldn't presume your wants. That's what a sensitive New Age guy I am.
-
I'm... Not too late to ask to be included, right? Stupid sleep, making me miss something like this...
-
I'm... Not too late to ask to be included, right? Stupid sleep, making me miss something like this...
Nope, not too late. I figure a deadline of midnight GMT tomorrow is plenty of time for everyone to say whether they want in or get locked out. I'm composing a poem here; not an Edda.
-
Someone needs to Tapestry this.
-
http://www.adgame-wonderland.de/type/bayeux.php
Someone who doesn't have this blocked, get to it!
-
Oh man I forgot all about the tapestry site. I have a CPMC poem to work on, so someone else do it.
By the by, less than seven hours until deadline. If you want to be in the poem, say so now. If you miss the deadline and you don'get mentioned in it, oh friggin well.