-
PURPLEQUEST is an interactive story in the MSPaint Adventures format about purple-haired touhous solving a gap-related incident. Starting from the beginning is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.
Links:
- Volume 1 (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12111.0.html) (Act 1 Part 1 ~ Act 1 Part 2)
- Tumblr Edition (http://purplequest.tumblr.com/tagged/purplequest/chrono)
Continuing right where we left off:
> Satori: Deliver.
(http://i.imgur.com/djerl.png)
You return from that nearby floating island with a chunk of bridge and a river running down it, and deliver Patchouli a glass of water. She appears most thankful. She looked like she was getting pretty exhausted from doing all that talking, so she need to take a break for a few minutes.
You reason that the water is probably safe since it looks like the stream comes from one of the rivers that were in the underground, but it appears Patchouli is in no need of this reassurance because she starts drinking it as soon as you give her the glass.
She takes a deep breath, and continues.
> Be Patchouli again.
(http://i.imgur.com/S7FJn.png)
Nearing your goal of FORMER HELL, your group has run afoul of a BRIDGE TROLL!
She informs you that this is HER BRIDGE and that she's not letting A SINGLE PERSON ACROSS without a fight! Judging by the apparent number of VERY RECENT BEATINGS she has suffered, she seems prepared to make good on her (questionable) threat.
(http://i.imgur.com/6yz0y.png)
You may select up to THREE PARTY MEMBERS to assist you in the INCOMING BOSS BATTLE (although you could probably win by yourself).
Parallel storylines are great! I love it when I can just copy-paste things I wrote earlier for identical situations.
> _
-
Pick Koakuma to use as a human shield and then decide the rest randomly.
-
> Solomid else feed. Time to take clothing damage.
-
>Meiling doesn't get to kick enough things. Let's allow her to kick a bridge troll.
-
Meiling, Koakuma, and a random one of the fairies.
-
> Drop out of the party, and put in Meiling and Sakuya to make use of the highly secret Knives Motherfucking Everywhere tandem strategy.
-
>Order Meiling to kick Koakuma into the bridge troll.
-
>ALL OF THE FAIRIES
>THEN DO EVERYTHING
-
>ALL OF THE FAIRIES
>THEN DO EVERYTHING
-
> Yeah, some boss XP would do those fairies a world of good.
-
>Be Reisen.
-
> China, Sakuya, and the dark-haired Fairy. We can't let Remi's good looks tarnish her stage debut, and I'm not confident in Koa's ability to take orders. Stupid demon.
-
>Powerlevel the fairies.
-
>Remilia, Sakuya, Meiling
-
>Meiling, being tall and possessing a great physical defense, should just pick up the bridge troll, let the rest of your group pass, and then put her back down.
>It would be a shame to waste that combat pose, though...
-
>Meiling, being tall and possessing a great physical defense, should just pick up the bridge troll, let the rest of your group pass, and then put her back down.
>It would be a shame to waste that combat pose, though...
^ This
-
>Meiling, being tall and possessing a great physical defense, should just pick up the bridge troll, let the rest of your group pass, and then put her back down.
>It would be a shame to waste that combat pose, though...
> Thirded.
-
> Drop out of the party, and put in Meiling and Sakuya to make use of the highly secret Knives Motherfucking Everywhere tandem strategy.
This.
-
>Meiling, being tall and possessing a great physical defense, should just pick up the bridge troll, let the rest of your group pass, and then put her back down.
>It would be a shame to waste that combat pose, though...
Fourthed
-
>Powerlevel the fairies.
-
>Powerlevel the fairies.
This. Once they unlock elemental attacks, we can have them stand inside the buffing radius of Philosopher's Stone and steamroll everything.
At what level do fairies gain names anyway? It must be pretty high.
-
>Meiling, being tall and possessing a great physical defense, should just pick up the bridge troll, let the rest of your group pass, and then put her back down.
>It would be a shame to waste that combat pose, though...
>This works too!
-
At what level do fairies gain names anyway? It must be pretty high.
They have names, Patch just doesn't know (or really care) what they are.
-
>Powerlevel the fairies. Ha, I bet the game was never expecting that party makeup!
-
> Use Fairies
> Swap yourself out for Koakuma, after all, if you level her, you don't need to do anything.
-
> ... But.. Wouldn't it be a mite embarrassing for Parsee to get plowed by fairies, and subsequently express all the jealousy for their power?
-
> ... But.. Wouldn't it be a mite embarrassing for Parsee to get plowed by fairies, and subsequently express all the jealousy for their power?
> If Parsee draws power from her envy, using more powerful party members would make her ire only grow!
-
[ I was totally hyped to do a fairy battle but every vote that isn't for fairies is for Meiling, so we'll go with our most popular choice. ]
> Patchouli: Let the gate guard handle it.
You think this might actually be one of the youkai Marisa fought during the SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM INCIDENT. What was her weakness again? Might as well take a crack at her yourself.
But just before you prepare to engage, Meiling offers to take care of the troll! Too bad, maybe your outfit would've been damaged and you'd have an excuse to switch out of it.
(http://i.imgur.com/LuoCq.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/z26sg.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/TuPe6.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/XnGoe.png)
The gate guard neutralizes the troll in an IMPRESSIVELY EXPEDITIOUS MANNER. Perhaps you should establish a GOATNESS rating scale for her, rather than CATNESS.
(http://i.imgur.com/Sl0be.png)
> parsee: attack that diminutive strumpet this instant!
(http://i.imgur.com/a5s6Z.png)
You can't do anything as long as this AMAZONIAN CHINAWOMAN has her mitts on you! It feels like she's SUPRESSING YOUR CHI, or some other EAST ASIAN METAPHYSICAL BULLSHIT, preventing you from shooting danmaku!
> parsee: be keenly aware of how useless you are!!
YOU ALREADY KNOW. SHUT UP. You're not finished yet!
You swing your legs forward to kick, but this is just a feint.
(http://i.imgur.com/OQtzz.png)
When she moves to dodge it, she inadvertently pulls you forward as well - putting you in range to punch her straight in the face!
(http://i.imgur.com/qD6QV.png)
Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it hurt her much at all.
(http://i.imgur.com/rF8RE.png)
You are now INCREDIBLY JEALOUS of this cool chinese lady.
> parsee: your flailing is only embarrassing yourself further! just gotf.
What is GOTF? Do you mean GTFO?
> indeed, i wish to invoke that small jumble of glyphs that causes one to flee like a terrified child.
(http://i.imgur.com/wdNf4.png)
You use the escape command exlusive to your GREEN COMMAND INTERPRETER, GTFO. You wrench yourself free from the surprised martial artist, and flee by diving into the water below! You'll take your chances with the next group of visitors.
> yes. as much as i am entertained by the repeated pummelings this pathetic bridgekeeper is suffering, i am in anticipation of an opportunity to sow the vile seeds of disaster upon all those that cross our path!
Why are you typing your comments into the console? You are so bad at this.
> still your tongue, mysterious devil machine! i am yet unfamiliar with the protocol of this so-called "text adventure".
Error: Cannot parse command.
Look, whenever you type something that isn't a command or a query, this is what you're going to get from now on, okay? Let's move on.
> you are remarkably impatient for a construct incapable of even moving your feet from the place in which they are planted. these are your feet, correct? these tiny protrusions which grow outward from each corner of your underside?
Error: Cannot parse command.
> and what of this faintly warm stream of wind emanating from the parallel crevices in your belly? are they a remnant from the abyssal realm in which you were forged?
Error: Cannot parse command.
> your disdainful obstinacy is uncalled for, i am merely making an attempt to liven up this otherwise one-sided discourse with my eloquent observations and commentary.
Error: Cannot parse command.
> fine then, see if i pay any heed to your ramblings about the irrelevant details you seem to enjoy so dearly!
Error: Cannot parse command.
> Patchouli: Continue on.
Error: Cannot pa-- oh sorry.
Guess what! You've just earned your first ACHIEVEMENT!
(http://i.imgur.com/lIuX4.png)
This PEACEFUL RESOLUTION makes you feel all warm and fuzzy in a way you don't really give a shit about.
Looks like the gate guard didn't make it out unmarred though. Remilia makes quite a fuss about this. Everyone needs to look perfect!
(http://i.imgur.com/DTCHW.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/jV4Uw.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oRpX3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/fKPIw.png)
Nice to see Remilia will go as far as domestic assault to make sure this social gathering is a success.
After crossing the bridge, it looks like FORMER HELL is coming within view...
> _
-
> 100 points. Now ask Remilia for ALL OF THE MAKEUP ADVICE.
-
Wow, Remi remembered China's name. That's the kind of skills that come with the Noble prestige class.
-
> Oh great, some crazy person's gotten a hold of the console. But it can't be the five magic stones, the text isn't ALLCAPS enough...Speaking of which, are the 5MS watching this game? Can they participate? They seem to be PURPLE enough to accept commands...They already do questions, so why not?
> Anyways, let's...I dunno, go check out the bazaar or something once we're inside the city gates.
-
Speaking of which, are the 5MS watching this game?
I think so (http://ask5ms.tumblr.com/page/5) (You're looking for the post "It's the Koopa Bank. Please pay 5 coins." After text mentions party).
>Request Remilia to apply "blush" to Koakuma too.
-
> Console. Check achievemnets list.
This (http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/1299497) happens to tie in with the local Koakuma. (Danbo)
-
Dammit, I thought we had deleted all the self-aware AI on this comp.
>Delete Stuffparser, go back to using Ren'py
-
>Delete Stuffparser, go back to using Ren'py
Oh god
>abort
I don't want PURPLEQUEST to crash ;_;
-
Sorry LoM is hogging the system resources for a while.
-
Sorry LoM is hogging the system resources for a while.
MUST INSTALL MORE RAM
-
Install more S.MAN
-
> Patchouli: Arrive.
(http://i.imgur.com/ehS5n.png)
You arrive at FORMER HELL'S SHOPPING DISTRICT to see a bustling crowd enjoying the festivities below. It's even more crowded than you anticipated, and quite loud. Neither of these are particularly appealing qualities in a party for you. Too late to turn back now, though!
(http://i.imgur.com/Ox21Q.png)
Remilia speaks up, announcing that the entrance you're all about to make will MAKE OR BREAK your first impressions among the underground youkai. Remilia orders everyone to GO FORTH AND ACQUIRE POPULARITY, and STRUT FOR ALL YOU'RE WORTH.
> [Ѕ] Patchouli: Strut. (https://dl.dropbox.com/u/5128007/patchouli-strut.wmv)
[ Very mild nsfw. I couldn't put this one on Youtube for obvious reasons, but there should be plenty of bandwidth on dropbox. ]
-
> DAT WIGGLE
-
Words. I don't have them.
For this. This. This...
*boom*
-
> That is one mighty fine strut.
> Patchouli - drink.
> Drink the memories you're about to have away.
> Wonder if you're an alcoholic.
-
>Consult summon list and conjure an appropriate herald for Remilia. Something loud and showy, she'd like that. Maybe then she'll leave us alone for a while.
-
wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah
Oh god, my sides. D:
>Patchouli: Proceed in an unassuming manner, making every attempt to ignore the massive concert venue that is certain to attract Remilia's attention in the worst way.
-
> Use massively increased CHARISMA to see if you can get a shop discount.
-
> Where did the fairies go?
-
> Where did the fairies go?
Must be casualties from the Wriggle Wiggle.
-
> Where did the fairies go?
Flying behind them, the timing was too tight for me to work them in D:
-
>Look for exotic magical books/reagents.
>Take a fairy maid with you. Tell everyone it's Remilia and spread all kinds of nonsensical misinformation about her.
-
Hah, nice wiggles.
> Gauge effect of strutting on observers.
-
> Observe party decorations.
Also, Merry Christmas!
-
> Check Achievement List.
It appears most of the achievements are hidden, since otherwise SPOILERS would be involved.
However, there are a number of more general achievements listed. You look a few of them over.
(http://i.imgur.com/4vN3m.png)
> Patchouli: Gauge reaction.
(http://i.imgur.com/92BWn.png)
Unfortunately, it appears everyone's efforts were wasted. Nobody was watching!! It looks like they're all paying attention to something further up the street.
You try to get a look at what the fuss is about.
(http://i.imgur.com/AckHS.png)
It seems the Lunarians have beaten you to the punch! They arrived just before you did and got all the attention for themselves. Remi does not look one bit pleased.
(http://i.imgur.com/lUM3Z.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/OLFtH.png)
Looks like at least one person was paying attention, though.
(http://i.imgur.com/H4vkP.png)
Here she is, the monstrous YUUGI HOSHIGUMA, leader of the oni. Not as big as Kirisame exaggerated, but easily the biggest person you've ever seen in Gensokyo. Guess they're not all runts like Ibuki.
Hoshiguma compliments your entrance. "You must be Remilia Scarlet," she says. Remi confirms and cordially thanks her for the invitation.
They engage in a FRIENDLY HANDSHAKE.
(http://i.imgur.com/LBgjS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/iICV8.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/WIg0F.png)
Oh, Remi. Not even here five minutes and she's already starting shit. But it says a lot that she can pull something like that off - the number of people in Gensokyo that can withstand the strength of an oni can probably be counted on one hand.
Hoshiguma tells her that she's heard Remi is quite a bigshot among the youkai, so she's prepared a place for her at the VIP Table. Remilia seems quite pleased at the special attention. She tells the rest of you that she'll go exchange some PLEASANTRIES (i.e. trash talk) with the other VIPs, and meet back up with you later.
(http://i.imgur.com/HFt6N.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/cG8yR.png)
After Remi departs, the rest of you discuss your plans. Meiling says she's going to follow the music and HIT THE DANCE FLOOR, while your familiar says she's going BAR HOPPING to look for some cool people to hang out with.
You are left alone with Sakuya and the fairy maids. Sakuya asks if you'd like to look around the party together.
You admit you could go for a drink yourself, but for now you'd prefer to be on your toes, what with all the CRAFTY ONI about. What will you do?
> _
-
>Escort fairy maids to somewhere quiet and alcoholic, you're already getting tired of being around all this fashion and they're the only ones who look more unassuming than you. And by "escort" you very definitely mean "order".
>Sakuya can come too. You guess.
-
> Use Sakuya's skill with throwing knifes (and throwing stuff in general) to win one of those rigged "knock over the bottles" contests or something.
-
> Hit the stalls for some loot. Takoyaki might be a good way to run into previous events.
-
>Scroll up, purchase shiny rock from fairy for two fairybux.
-
> Look for fellow, preferably sane, magicians.
-
> Look for fellow, preferably sane, magicians.
> Hah. Haha. Haa.
> Now that Remilia's gone, return to our original costume through Magical Girl transformation.
-
>Wonder if using magic to win a contest is considered cheating to the oni, if physical ability and general skill is not.
-
>Find a relatively underpopulated Irish pub to have a quiet drink with Sakuya. Or at least as quiet as this place ever gets.
-
> Patchouli: Seek fellow magicians.
You briefly go over the short list of MAGIC-INCLINED INDIVIDUALS you are familiar with in your head.
(http://i.imgur.com/lLUoE.png)
Much like her red-white associate, Kirisame isn't invited to the party. That won't stop her from coming if she finds out about it, but there's no need to look for her - if she shows up, she will certainly make her presence known.
(http://i.imgur.com/MqDqM.png)
If there are no humans here, then Margatroid definitely won't be coming either. Despite being one herself, she rarely associates with other youkai. You suspect she just doesn't want to let go of her humanity (and that's why she'll always be a second-rate magician).
(http://i.imgur.com/T5QdP.png)
Who else is there? That buddhist monk is probably around, but according to Kirisame, trying to get her to talk about magic is like pulling teeth. Apparently she doesn't like that part of her image. Too bad, you could definitely benefit from some of her knowledge of body-strengthening magic.
Man, Gensokyo's magicians are a BUNCH OF CHUMPS. It really says a lot when Marisa Kirisame is the best person around to JIVE ABOUT WITCHCRAFT with. You guess you have to work with what you have, though, if you ever want to get a half-decent coven going in this damn fantasy land. You wish that cackling ghost was still around. She really knew her shit. Granted, she was a PRETTY TERRIBLE PERSON, but hey, aren't we all?
> Patchouli: Perform magical girl transformation into normal clothes.
You would need to invest in the MAHOU SHOUJO branch of your MAGICTECH SKILL TREE to use this ability. Or get FASHIONTECH, but who would waste points in that?
> Patchouli: Examine shops.
You've got 50,000 yen burning a hole in your pocket, so you have a look around at what's for sale in the stalls lining the streets. Aside from the obvious abundance of stands selling fried food and booze, there are also a good number of small shops selling random junk.
(http://i.imgur.com/PRwQK.png)
The oni love challenges, so naturally there are quite a few carnival-esque games as well. These in particular have caught the attention of the fairy maids, but they are far too timid to go wandering away from you and Sakuya (mostly Sakuya). You admit you'd like to give them a whirl yourself, if only to show up the oni running the stands. Though, even if you were to leverage a bit of your ARCANE MUSCLE, it probably wouldn't be that easy; it's not like the oni are incompetent when it comes to magic. You'll have to pick your battles carefully.
For now, though, you've changed your mind. You're a bit tired from the trip and you would definitely like something to drink.
Sakuya offers to go get something for you, but you suggest finding a place off the main street to sit down and eat instead. She agrees, and leaves it to you to pick the place.
(http://i.imgur.com/lM21g.png)
You promptly locate the darkest, dankest pub in town.
> Patchouli: Order a beer.
(http://i.imgur.com/YRTws.png)
You have a seat at the bar and order a beer. Better not hit the bottle too hard. Yet.
(http://i.imgur.com/hqphY.png)
The fairies order a basket of cheesesticks to share. Sakuya takes out her money, but you offer to pay their way (which is a nice gesture, but pointless since it's all Remi's money anyway). Sakuya attempts to order some tea, but when informed that NONBOOZE is not sold here, decides on a small pi?a colada and a Monte Cristo.
(http://i.imgur.com/1IJa3.png)
The beer is actually pretty good. It's got that old-fashioned wooden keg taste, which you haven't had in about a hundred years. Of course, if anyone served subpar alcohol in a city like this, they would be run out of town pretty quickly.
Suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you think you see someone familiar...
(http://i.imgur.com/Tb76N.png)
Isn't that...
(http://i.imgur.com/fXTtE.png)
Shit. She saw you.
(http://i.imgur.com/5vRHZ.png)
Ugh it's Kawashiro
Doesn't she have any friends
> _
-
> Would Kawashiro piss off if Marisa were here? Maybe we should tell her that we heard Marisa is coming.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/hqphY.png)
Words to die live by.
-
> I thought Nitori was shy around humans. ASSESS NITORI'S PERSONALITY MATRIX.
-
> How does Kawashiro know us?
> Might as well get it over with. Say hi to the kappa.
-
> Might as well get it over with. Say hi to the kappa.
> Put on our best poker face while we're at it.
-
> Put on our best poker face while we're at it.
> More like poke her face.
-
> No.
> /ignore
-
>Take a long swig before greeting kappa.
-
> Order as many Cucumber Saisons (http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/17981/73070) as you can for Nitori until she loses consciousness.
-
>Offer Nitori 3000 yen to leave and pretend she never saw us for the rest of the day.
-
> Flashback: Whatever made us dislike kappa/Nitori
-
>Forget the haters, might as well head over.
>Invite Sakuya along. For a laugh.
>Why is Nitori so darn unpopular, anyhow?
-
> GRUMPTECH: SURLY SWIRLY VORTEX.
-
> GRUMPTECH: SURLY SWIRLY VORTEX.
> GAMEGRUMPTECH: "No, no, no, no, no." (http://youtu.be/OzE0LWd5SmM?t=30s)
-
> I thought Nitori was shy around humans.
>What humans?
-
>Does Nittery not consider Sakuya to be a human?
-
She likes Marisa, so presumably she's not so nervous around people she already knows.
-
She likes Marisa, so presumably she's not so nervous around people she already knows.
And since Patch doesn't leave the SDM much, it's a safe assumption she knows Sakuya too.
-
If Kappatech has invented a vacuum cleaner, Sakuya and Nitori are probably on good terms.
-
> Contemplate status of Sakuya's Kappatech tree. She has one? We can keep out-of-character trees? What exactly prevents our investment in Namutech?
-
> Patchouli: Consult with Sakuya.
(http://i.imgur.com/mu3YY.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/44BQI.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/F72Yd.png)
You guess you'll have to put up with her for a bit. You welcome your ALCOHOLIC SALVATION with open arms, and wave Nitori over.
> Patchouli: Examine Nitori.
This is NITORI KAWASHIRO, a fairly typical kappa that Hakurei and Kirisame interact with regularly. Like all kappa, she is reclusive, obnoxious, and accident-prone. However, Nitori is a gifted mechanical engineer; you can see her skills being useful at some point, which is why you attempt to tolerate her.
(http://i.imgur.com/QtGn2.png)
You met Kawashiro during the SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM INCIDENT, when Kirisame introduced her to you and Margatroid to help with procuring resources and handling MISSION CONTROL for sending her to explore the underground. Ever since, she seems to have added you to her PAINFULLY SHORT list of friends, and she now drops by your library unannounced from time to time to borrow books and make you listen to the status reports of her innumerable projects. Margatroid appears to have avoided the same fate by cranking her CREEPYNESS up to 11 whenever Kawashiro stopped by. Clever woman.
The worst of it, though, is that you have unfortunately found out that kappas are HUGE BLABBERMOUTHS when it comes to local gossip, and their SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS means they have plenty of it bottled up at any given time. You always make sure to have a magical experiment "scheduled" so you can cut her short when she gets going, and send her on her way.
> Ichirin: Interrupt.
(http://i.imgur.com/kvJNf.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/o5iAE.png)
YOU TOTALLY WILL. You make a mental note of this.
> Patchouli: Suffer Nitori's presence.
Kawashiro immediately makes a subject of your TASTELESS REGALIA.
(http://i.imgur.com/HnJnv.png)
This forces her to back down, since she is obviously in no position to challenge one's knowledge of WHAT'S "IN". Your POKER FACE CLASS FEATURE is really pulling its weight here. (Wizards need to look cool and knowledgable all the time, so it wouldn't do if they had some STUPID-ASS SMIRK while interacting with the common rabble.)
Suddenly, you realize that Kawashiro is the first person at this party to make fun of your outfit. It occurs to you that you might actually be pulling off this look, and coming across as some sort of ECCENTRIC DIVA to those that don't know you. This makes you want to throw up a little.
You quickly turn your attention back to your SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED ACQUAINTANCE, and engage her with some basic small talk on subjects that will make her uncomfortable.
(http://i.imgur.com/yAZvO.png)
You allow Kawashiro to stumble while playing VERBAL HOPSCOTCH and make excuses while you enjoy your beer. Eventually, you mercifully release her from her agony by asking her about HER WORK instead. This is a subject about which she will blather on endlessly if allowed, thus permitting you to tune her out while sinking into your BLISSFUL MIRE OF INSOBRIETY.
(http://i.imgur.com/PS7km.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/s0EdQ.png)
You watch the maid fairies' BASKET OF CHEESESTICKS like a hawk, for only when it is empty will you be able to leave this dreadful place. Slowly, slowly, the seconds tick by as the fairies enjoy their meal of deep-fried mozzarella. As the kappa rambles on, the ARTERY-ASSAULTING APPETIZER gradually disappears from its basket, like grains of sand flowing from a greasy hourglass.
After what seems like an eternity, the fairies are finished and your second beer has nearly run dry, as has your patience with Kawashiro.
(http://i.imgur.com/KPPIs.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/7NrJP.png)
Hey, you didn't lie. Not even the Yama can fault you on that one. Her obvious crush on Kirisame is pretty pathetic. Actually, ANY crush on Kirisame is pretty pathetic. How is that thieving rat so popular?
Back to the task at hand. Now would be a good time to relocate. You turn your attention back to Sakuya.
(http://i.imgur.com/VnJbC.png)
Oh god damnit. How can somebody so tall be such a lightweight?
You leave the bar and head back up to the street, where the party seems to have gotten even busier as more people arrive. You are accompanied by a MILDLY INEBRIATED SAKUYA and THREE STUFFED FAIRIES. What will you do next?
> _
-
> Have we maxed out our IMAGINATION stat?
> Look for acquaintances.
> Force self to enjoy self at any cost.
-
> Standby to defuse any Remilia-fueled situations.
-
> Get out of that horrible dress before we come across anyone else that knows us.
-
>Ichirin - Befriend Nitori.
>Patchy - Send the fairys to make sure Koa isn't having fun.
-
> Look for aquantances.
Deep sea acquaintances? n.n
I really like the effort you put into some of these.
-
> Make sure Sakuya doesn't happen across any UMBRELLA YOUKAI to add to her collection.
-
> How does our CREEPYNESS stack up against anyone else Nitori considers her friend?
-
>Idly wonder if Sakuya's poetry skill increases when sloshed.
>Become irritated at the crowds and go somewhere quiet. Like BEHIND THIS LARGE AMPITHEATER, which is definitely not going to be showing a concert in a few minutes and should be relatively devoid of life.
-
>Browse shops. There may be something worth buying around here (like "Scrolls?"). Make sure that you keep an eye on the faeries and your drunk though.
-
> Stop kidding ourselves. Neither us, nor anyone else can pull off our look. The sooner we can accept this, the less painful it will be.
-
>Wonder if Nittery can craft an accordion that is light enough to carry.
-
>Then wonder why the hell we'd want an accordion.
-
Oh, right, I quit Tumnler so I didn't see this until I came here Damn it, now I want mozzerella sticks~ :3
My favorite part was the exchange about Marisa. "does that ever stop her"
> Stats.
-
Well, that explains things.
>Don't ask nitori anything. We got her away. Keep it that way.
>If someone who isn't SOCIALLY AWKWARD thinks we can't run this outfit, change it.
-
> Patchouli: Consider change of clothes.
Yeah, this is getting old fast. However, you'll need to find somewhere private to change, and you'll be damned if you settle for any of the restrooms around here. You glance towards the large stage set up at the back of the cavern, and come up with a good idea. There are probably some decent dressing rooms backstage that you could sneak (or fight) into. It doesn't look very busy over there right now, so you drag Sakuya and the fairies in that direction.
Along the way, you pass by a few of the stalls set up for the party and can't help but notice a small shop selling a bunch of random magical knick-knacks. You poke your head in and have a quick look at what's for sale, making note of a FEW INTERESTING THINGS.
(http://i.imgur.com/onA9DLI.png)
[ I wanted to animate him dancing like the Secret of Mana merchant, but alas, no time, so you'll just have to imagine it. ]
BAG OF HOLDING: ?30000
This ubiquitous magic item has a much larger interior than exterior, and renders any object placed within weightless. In short, it dramatically increases your INVENTORY SPACE. While this object might sound like it is perfect for you, the bag itself is somewhat heavy and thus exceeds your weight capacity. Too bad, because the price is kind of a steal. Sorry!
RING OF BALLET: ?25000
This ring magically enhances one's ability to perform ballet moves. You wonder what kind of BATSHIT INSANE BUILD someone was working towards when they had this made. However, you are mildly curious if the acrobatic properties of this ring can be put to a more utilitarian use (preferably while nobody is looking).
SOVEREIGN GLUE: ?10000
This ARCANE SUPER GLUE allows you to glue together any two objects in a permanent fashion. The exact strength of this particular variety of glue is unknown; any attempts to forcibly separate the glued objects has always resulted in the objects breaking before the bond. The glue sets pretty quickly, and is notorious for being EXTREMELY LIKELY to produce TERRIBLE AND/OR EMBARRASSING ACCIDENTS. Any wizard worth their salt knows that you DO NOT CARRY SOVEREIGN GLUE WITHOUT UNIVERSAL SOLVENT.
UNIVERSAL SOLVENT: ?4000
This aforementioned magical oil has the unique property of completely and instantly destroying the bonds of any sticky substance it touches. It is completely harmless otherwise. Any wizard worth their salt knows that you must KEEP THIS STUFF AWAY FROM YOUR SPELLBOOKS AT ALL COSTS. A destroyed binding on a spellbook can have unpredictable and almost certainly unpleasant results.
HATE POTION: ?3000
Anyone who drinks this potion will be consumed with INTENSE HATE for the next person they see. You are interested in this purely to run tests on it and find out how somebody could've fucked up a batch of LOVE POTIONS badly enough to create this.
HAGAKURE ORB: ?20000
This is a small blue CRYSTAL BALL designed specifically for FORTUNE TELLING. When asked a question, it will provide a STARTLINGLY SPECIFIC ANSWER. However, the prediction will only be correct exactly 20% of the time, the kind of thing a DOUCHEBAG AUTHOR would have all sorts of fun with. It's rather light and seems like it would break easily.
UNIDENTIFIED SPELLBOOK: ?10000
It's a spellbook! But it's written in some kind of crazy glowing rune language you've never seen before. Seems interesting, though translating it would be a pain in the ass. You can't really get any sense of what subject the book is supposed to be about, but the diagrams indicate it is definitely for wizardly purposes.
GAUNTLET: ?5000
The description of this magical relic indicates that it can be used to wield a ONE-HANDED WEAPON with TWO HANDS. Is that a typo? You don't really get the point of this item.
BACKUP CANDY BACKUP: ?1000
This tiny pouch, easily attached to the inside of any of your clothes, grants you two additional slots for pieces of BACKUP CANDY. Amazing! (Candy not included.)
BLUE CANDLE: ?10000
This candle, which never fully melts, produces some funky blue mood lighting. It actually looks pleasant and would probably be nice somewhere in the library. It can also shoot a little burst of flame on command, but you have to walk around with it for a little while to recharge it after each shot. This feature is not particularly useful to you for OBVIOUS REASONS.
EVERCLEAN NAPKIN: ?15000
This is a fancy cloth napkin that will neatly obliterate any offending residue it wipes up, keeping it in PRISTINE CONDITION at all times. While it seems kind of neat, you cannot think of any real use for it offhand. Sakuya seems interested in this item.
SPARKLY HAIRCLIPS: ?1000
A bundle of sparkly hairclips, the kind of which a group of GENERIC ANIME HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS would wear to make themselves visually distinguishable from their peers. The sparklyness appears to be the only enchantment. You have no use for these cheap pieces of crap, but the maid fairies seem interested in this item.
Would you like to buy any of these items?
> _
[ Let's get this small bit out of the way before I post the full update. ]
-
>Acquire hairclips, candle and ballet ring.
-
> Why do we still have 50,000 yen when we covered for booze and fried cheese?
-
Haven't you ever played an RPG? Those kind of scenes don't actually cost anything.
-
>We are compelled to purchase the ballet ring.
>Make a Bribery Check to see if buying the napkin is worthwhile.
>Roll to save against Moe to resist purchasing hairpins for fairies.
-
Haven't you ever played an RPG? Those kind of scenes don't actually cost anything.
It's less that and more that I'm gunning for that We Have To Go Back achievement.
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's watching people like a hawk and waiting for them to fuck up so I can point it out.
-
> Go for the spellbook. Pain in the ass or not, I'm sure there's some satisfaction in adding another book to the collection.
> Also, acquire the Backup Candy Backup.
-
>Yes, get the spellbook.
>Also get the Hate Potion.
-
> Go for the spellbook. Pain in the ass or not, I'm sure there's some satisfaction in adding another book to the collection.
> Also, acquire the Backup Candy Backup.
-
It's less that and more that I'm gunning for that We Have To Go Back achievement.
I figured that was more like Patchouli doing something that changes Ichirin's story.
>Buy: RING OF BALLET
>Buy: HATE POTION
>Buy: UNIDENTIFIED SPELLBOOK
>Attempt to trade outfit and/or sell it under the guise of it being INCREDIBLY FANCY AND EXPENSIVE in the outside world.
Judging by the current wares, the shopkeeper isn't exactly one to care about usefulness or legitimacy of items.
-
> Get the Gauntlet and the Spellbook. Don't get the Orb, that just makes everyone in the thread spit out moronic speculation for hundreds of posts.
-
>Take the candle, spellbook and ring.
>In case we possess mad haggling skills: utilize mad haggling skills.
-
> Spellbook and Solvent
-
> Get the napkin and hairclips for Sakuya and the fairies to trigger their flags, get the spellbook for us.
-
>Get the spellbook. Candle too, possibly.
>Use CANDLE to BURN SPELLBOOK
BLUE CANDLE: ?10000
This candle, which never fully melts, produces some funky blue mood lighting. It actually looks pleasant and would probably be nice somewhere in the library. It can also shoot a little burst of flame on command, but you have to walk around with it for a little while to recharge it after each shot. This feature is not particularly useful to you for OBVIOUS REASONS.
I see you have played the Binding of Isaac!
-
> Obtain spellbook
> Obtain Hate Potion, replication could be greatly useful to magnify our hate of everyone.
> That or give to the kappa to get rid of her.
-
>Ponder mass marketing of love potions. More people in love means less people bothering us at home.
-
>Get the Ring of Ballet, it is literally better than every DnD magical item.
>Consider the clips, happy faeries can be useful right?
>Can we have a look at the spellbook before buying it?
I see you have played the Binding of Isaac!
I see you haven't played Legend of Zelda, dork.
-
I see you haven't played Legend of Zelda, dork.
Well. Now I feel like an idiot.
sobs quietly in the corner
-
>hate potion hate potion hate potion
> maybe also the napkin so sakuya can't have it
-
Well. Now I feel like an idiot.
sobs quietly in the corner
Don't feel bad, it hasn't appeared since the first Legend of Zelda and it's not an item you're likely to receive early on.
> The hate potion almost seems like it was designed for us. Could we make that at home, or do we lack the necessary INCOMPITENCE?
-
lacking incompetence would be having competence, good sir
-
lacking incompetence would be having competence, good sir
Ah, but the potion was, in theory, a result of someone screwing up an Love Potion, and is thus a product of incompetence.
-
>Hairclips (why not?), Napkin (Can give it to Sakuya for her birthday/Christmas), Spell Book (If Patchy knows of Kosuzu, bonus points), Backup candy slots (We're playing an RPG, so "candy" may also double as potential stat boosting items). This will leave us with ?23000 for backup money (plus we might be able to get Remi to pay us back for dolling up the faeries).
-
GAUNTLET: ?5000
The description of this magical relic indicates that it can be used to wield a ONE-HANDED WEAPON with TWO HANDS. Is that a typo? You don't really get the point of this item.
Given Patchy is a wizard, my best guess: :V C'mon and slash, shake hands- COPY, PLEASE
>Buy hairclips, ring, gauntlet and spellbook, in that order of importance. :3
-
>It's probably a stronger attack if you hold a weapon with both hands. BUt why would we ever use a weapon? Don't get the gauntlet.
-
Wait, wait, I get what the gauntlet is for. You use it to throw down a duel challenge :V
-
My initial plan was to use Iku, but try as I may I really have no idea how to write a background for her or what characters to associate her with. Her fanon representations are all style and no substance, so ultimately I looked at other options.
Replying to the Tumblr post (http://stuffman.tumblr.com/post/41239747157/hey-heres-something-neat-i-found-while-digging): Iku's canon personality would be boring to you by your account: a lazy civil servant in a bureaucracy, who does her job perfunctorily and gives absolutely no thought to what it entails for everyone else. I see her and Udonge as the two Philistines of Touhou.
For actually writing Iku, the part about celestial bureaucracy in Journey to the West would be a great reference.
So you have never considered Mystia, Akyuu and Kasen?
-
So you have never considered Mystia, Akyuu and Kasen?
Mystia and Kasen are Pink. Akyu is ineligible for a main character slot because she has no combat abilities, she will perform clerical duties instead (such as saving your game).
-
>Akyu: Save game.
-
>Byakuren: Namusan game.
-
> Remilia: C-C-C-C-Charisma break!
-
>This stuff is legit, right? The shopkeeper is an oni so we can just ask him.
-
> Patchouli: Ascertain legitimacy of items.
THESE LOOK LEGIT. You can tell from some of the sparkles and from seeing quite a few magic items in your time. The immense number of points you've sank into MAGICTECH allows you to identify most enchantments at a glance.
Besides, oni are honest to a fault. It's pretty unlikely you'd get scammed by one, especially one who seems to have as much UNBRIDLED ENTHUSIASM for running a shop as this one does.
> Patchouli: Purchase Unidentified Spellbook.
(http://i.imgur.com/I60AVr5.png)
First order of business! You promptly acquire the UNIDENTIFIED SPELLBOOK. You look at a few more pages of it to see if you can make some sense of the thing.
(http://i.imgur.com/OkcaEzr.gif)
The text is pretty small print, so there's a lot of content in this book. You think the text looks vaguely middle-eastern in origin, but you don't know any of those languages so you have no idea if that's what it actually is. Spellbooks from that part of the world tend to be on subjects of DEMONS AND SPIRITS or NUMEROLOGY, which makes them kind of a pain in the ass to work with, but interesting nonetheless!
You add the spellbook to your inventory. The book is rather heavy, but you have a PASSIVE ABILITY that dramatically reduces the weight of books for the purposes of inventory size. You can easily carry around quite a few of them.
> Patchouli: Purchase Ballet Ring.
You ask the oni merchant if you can give it a try before buying it. He agrees. Upon equipping the innocuous-looking piece of jewelry, your mind swims with imagery of GRACEFUL YET POWERFUL MOVEMENTS.
(http://i.imgur.com/UIdmRjt.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ROv1Rg6.png)
Stricken with an INSATIABLE URGE to dance, you promptly perform an ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE of exquisite beauty.
(http://i.imgur.com/8wz21n0.png)
However, this SUDDEN SURGE OF SKILLFUL SPRYNESS is far too much for your pathetic VIM score to handle. Your muscles and lungs burn as you recover from your short-lived athletics. You are in no shape to make regular use of this item right now, but it's certainly one of of the more potent body enhancers you've encountered. You decide to purchase it anyway for further study.
(http://i.imgur.com/1LEnsAs.png)
With this item equipped, you can perform some IMPRESSIVE FEATS OF DEXTERITY, although the pain will render you immobile for a few moments afterward.
> Patchouli: Purchase Hate Potion.
(http://i.imgur.com/hbvUz4O.png)
The meddling you could do with kind of this thing is closer to Remi's territory, but the potential applications are endless.
> Patchouli: Purchase Backup Candy Backup.
(http://i.imgur.com/lv2VWvE.png)
You buy and equip the small pouch. You now have FOUR BACKUP CANDY SLOTS!! This item seems incredibly overpowered for the price. You're actually a bit worried that you might be breaking the game and making it TOO EASY for yourself.
(http://i.imgur.com/l2rQA22.gif)
You mull over all the new BACKUP CANDY configurations you are now capable of. You could have TWO GOODS and TWO PLENTIES, or maybe you could even do something crazy like THREE PLENTIES! Oh man, now that you think about it, you could even have FOUR DIFFERENT CANDIES in each slot. The possibilities are overwhelming. You'll just have to experiment.
> Patchouli: Purchase Sparkly Hairclips.
(http://i.imgur.com/8IsSaU6.png)
You buy the bag of crappy hairclips and hand it off to the fairy maids. They are overjoyed to receive it.
(http://i.imgur.com/IvFkYaw.png)
Removing their STANDARD ISSUE MOB CAPS, they try out the hairclips. For some reason, after doing so they seem to acquire a VAGUE SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY. If they could just pick up a fourth fairy for their group, you figure they could be the stars of some generic shitty moe show or something. It almost makes you want to learn their names. Almost.
(http://i.imgur.com/hYW7qXl.png)
Sakuya makes note of the fact that you have been very nice to the fairies today. Actually, now that you think about it, despite their VAST INCOMPETENCE you don't generally give the fairies a hard time, especially compared to your relationship with YOUR FAMILIAR. You wonder why that is. It's probably because you know they're too stupid to do their jobs even when they try, so you cut them some slack. Yeah, that's probably it.
You have gained a few FAIRY AFFECTION POINTS.
(http://i.imgur.com/sGjFfnm.png)
You are shocked to learn that you have AFFECTION POINTS! You forgot those existed. When was the last time you got any?
You are even more shocked when you realize this means you have a Fairy Route. Why do you have a Fairy Route? Why do you have routes for Kirisame and Kawashiro, for that matter!? Do they just throw everybody you know on here?
> Patchouli: Check status and inventory.
(http://i.imgur.com/cTPHhUr.png)
While checking your stats, you note that apparently the Blue Ribbon has a 1% chance to summon a chicken when you get hit. Interesting.
Looking closely, it looks like there's room for up to twenty slots of Backup Candy, but items or passives that give you even one extra slot are incredibly rare. You really scored big today!
> Patchouli: Approach stage.
With that all sorted, you make your way towards the stage in the back of the enormous cavern that contains FORMER HELL'S SHOPPING DISTRICT. Surely there will be a changing room backstage that you can use to switch back into your pajamas and rid yourself of this disgraceful dress. Sakuya does not know why you are headed in this direction, and appears to be too tipsy to care.
(http://i.imgur.com/8elS87O.png)
As you approach, you begin to feel the rumble of heavy bass under your feet. There is a small but active audience at the stage, gathered around some large speakers; and sitting at a booth a booth up top, you are surprised to see none other than the well-known DJ KISSY MAY. She appears to be holding a public FREESTYLE RAP SESSION! With her is...isn't that the youngest Prismriver?
You look on at some of the bolder fans that have stepped up to the stage.
(http://i.imgur.com/X6Z3WgA.png)
Amateurs. You could destroy them. They're just having fun, regardless, so no need to get your bloomers in a twist.
(http://i.imgur.com/MouF00L.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bw1tEO0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ruYmDy4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/1GBz217.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/hjIMFlS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/LtJgDXC.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/1QOSYoC.png)
You decide to go get changed, and come back and watch a bit more afterwards.
(http://i.imgur.com/wcYfKNs.png)
OH SHIT SAKUYA WENT UP THERE.
> _
[ sorry for the :wikipedia: that looked a lot smaller in notepad D: ]
-
>This is going to be good. Let's get a good seat to watch this trainwreck!
-
Well if we get her off stage we may get some Aff. Points for Sakuya later (for sparing her the embarrassment). Could also gain some respect if we successfully do a rap on stage...
>Sit back and watch as this crash and burns, we'll do mop up once we've had a show (Hope Remi's watching)!
-
> Watch with barely-restrained glee.
-
> Watch Sakuya's performance.
> Realize you are a great rapper yourself. Perform after Sakuya.
> It's time for the Great Unmoving Library to lay down some rhymes for these posers.
-
>Clearly a duet is called for here.
>Sakuya should know her Simon & Garfunkel. This situation calls for Parsely, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme.
-
Fairy maids plus accessories is painfully adorable.
Also, I appreciate greatly the HFIL sweatshirt. <_<
-
>tl;dr
-
If we change out of these clothes, won't we lose the backup slots?
-
> Why do we have slightly negative affection points from the younger sister?
-
> Why do we have slightly negative affection points from the younger sister?
I have a feeling it's because we aren't exactly playful.
>Back Sakuya up! And by this I mean, supporting her in rap. And by supporting I mean gradually try to phase her out of the rapping entirely before she makes a fool of herself. (Unless she's actually better at it drunk, but...!)
-
> Watch with absolutely undisguised glee.
-
>Wait in childlike giggly anticipation for the cacophony that is about to commence so you can bask in the glorious light of schadenfreude
>Realize only too late that the author wrote the whole scenario from the beginning to predictabo set up Sakuya being an excellent rapper only when drunk
>Despair as she pummels your ability into dirt in comparison
-
> Stuffman: Check PMs
-
OK, if Sakuya is a drunken rap master, then:
> Patchouli: GET READY TO BE SCHOOLED![/eggman]
-
> Patchouli: Watch.
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/306_zps930ed7bd.png)
You really don't know what to make of this. She's already up on stage, so you can't talk her out of it. You're not sure you want to either. You find yourself paralyzed with morbid curiousity. Just what is she planning to do up there?
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/307_zps4f0d1324.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/308_zps6be7399a.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/309_zpsef68d073.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/310_zps55f57088.png)
> Patchouli: Engage schadenfreude.
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/311_zpsfb9da962.png)
You FAIL TO ENGAGE. You really do not want to see Sakuya fail here, because the SDM's reputation is on the line. You wish you could help somehow, but sadly there is not a single spell in your repetoire that can help a drunk maid rap better. All you can do is watch the trainwreck happen.
The beat starts, and Sakuya unleashes her flow like a tidal wave on a shitty sand castle.
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/312_zpsa64efa10.png)
Wait, what? Her timing is a little odd, but this is completely different from earlier. Was she just holding back?
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/313_zps8cf79873.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/314_zps64c9a6e9.png)
Aha! Now you get it. The reason her pace is strange is because she's stopping time to think about her next line! It'd be easy for anyone to come up rhymes that way. Of course she wouldn't have tried that trick on you earlier; she must have known you'd figure it out right away.
You're not going to call her on it, of course. If the crowd buys it, it's in your favor. However, you do wonder how much time it's actually taking her to come up with her lines.
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/315_zpsd7fe131b.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/316_zpsb9c296b8.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/317_zps3bef8ece.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/318_zps0eded5c6.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/319_zpsf00abace.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/320_zps2f188c6e.gif)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/321_zps2e0353b4.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/322_zps977b53c9.gif)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/323_zps8b879d1b.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/320_zps2f188c6e.gif)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/324_zps2c2e8109.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/325_zpsb3659439.png)
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/326_zps5967b55e.png)
[ I am sad that, due to time constraints once again, I cannot animate Sakuya doing the moonwalk. ]
The crowd applauds Sakuya, which is a load off your shoulders. However, Lyrica heads out on stage to interview her.
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/327_zpsdb49a455.png)
Lyrica asks Sakuya where she learned to rap like that. Sakuya explains that she picked it up from you. Lyrica spots you in the crowd and exclaims, "PATCHOULI? PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE IS A RAPPER?". Sakuya confirms, and ever humble, admits that you are much better than her. While a nice gesture, you don't like where this is going.
(http://i1280.photobucket.com/albums/a485/Stuffman42/328_zpsd1c02041.png)
Lyrica says that she has to SEE THIS FOR HERSELF, and challenges you to come onstage for a RAP BATTLE!! The crowd goes nuts.
You don't really think you're ready to make a public debut, especially against a professional musician like Lyrica, but if you chicken out here, they might never give you the time of day again. What do you do?
> _
[ today's rap submitted courtesy of Edible! ]
-
> Change into dueling outfit
-
> Engage in rap battle.
> Have inner thoughts pre-emptively scold asthma for even thinking of ruining this.
-
Oh, goodness. Very nice JoJoposes.
> Pray for a Deus Ex Machina to get us out of this one.
-
>There is only one way out of this.
>We must reach deeply within ourself. We must be calm. We must be collected. Measure each line as necessary.
>Then unleash the SUPA HOT FIRES!
-
> Recall what tends to happen to people who chicken out around Oni, who value COURAGE almost as much as HONESTY.
> Go up there
-
ahahah oh god stuffman ilu
You read my mind with the fairies
>EXEC_IT'STIMETO_D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL
-
> Change into dueling outfit
This
-
>Step up.
>Take a decent amount of breath first.
>Consider: Shoutout to all the fairies out there?
-
[ I wanted to do a video this time, but technical difficulties D: ]
> Patchouli: Step up.
(http://i.imgur.com/z0gy4OV.png)
You don't have a choice. You have to make this happen. Anything short of victory will be devastating to your pride!
(http://i.imgur.com/NL1NCbN.gif)
You wordlessly approach the stage, focusing on controlling your breathing. Your own lungs are your biggest enemy here. Stay calm, stay focused, and you can win, you tell yourself. Your heart is starting to beat more quickly, but you don't let any of that show.
You really wish you could've changed back into your normal outfit before this happened, but you can't show the slightest bit of hesitation. You have to make it clear that you give ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKS. You can't show any weakness. Especially not in front of the oni.
(http://i.imgur.com/nVegqOC.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/iyaWYLW.png)
Oh dear. You've never spoken in front of this many people before, much less performed.
You should've stayed home. You don't want to be here.
Oh no! You realize you have been afflicted with STAGE FRIGHT!
(http://i.imgur.com/8R5tdGl.png)
No! Focus! You are not some stuttering librarian moeblob. You are not some spineless doormat waifu to be plastered on the front of some slimy social reject's dakimakura. You are PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE. You speak in the oldest of arcane languages. You break reality's back over the knee of your spoken word. A mere rap battle should be nothing to you.
You desperately try to string together some rhymes in your head. Something, anything.
(http://i.imgur.com/QNadtnS.png)
And yet...
(http://i.imgur.com/eEOzBZG.png)
It's no use.
(http://i.imgur.com/sjfPM9w.gif)
Not a single word comes to mind.
(http://i.imgur.com/othTYst.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/AIEl66N.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/hE0Mvnm.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/o0xvFj1.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CDumsbJ.png)
> Patchouli: Lose yourself.
(http://i.imgur.com/O3nIadQ.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/AOVNtFo.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/N2xFmGY.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/zxbnrfJ.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/hIENXQ3.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/z35UF1o.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/WBW0grW.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/jsVGSzn.gif)
Sadly, no amount of willpower will overcome the weakness of the flesh.
(http://i.imgur.com/QdtfGNT.gif)
> _
[ This rap battle once again written courtesy of theshim! ]
-
>Try not to die. It would be too irritating.
-
(stuffman x theshim otp <3<3<3)
>Pass out.
-
Poor Patchy. Mukyuu.
>Examine Skilldrasil for nearby health nodes.
-
> Why is it we don't take asthma medication?
> I don't mean right now, I mean in general. It seems like we could really benefit from owning an inhaler.
-
>BACKUP CANDY
-
>BACKUP CANDY
>THIS
-
>JUST ABOUT TO SAY
-
> Catch out breath and fling a last stand when Lyrica comes over to check on us.
-
>BACKUP CANDY
> FIRST GOOD IDEA IN THE THREAD
-
> Mukyuu.
> Refresh stamina with Backup Candy
-
>Backup Candy
>Slip on dance ring at the same time, disguise fall as breakdance.
(http://i.imgur.com/NL1NCbN.gif)
Badass.
-
> steal gifs for sig
> Pocket the shades for later.
-
> Patchouli: Use Backup Candy.
Thinking quickly, you consume a piece of BACKUP CANDY!!
(http://i.imgur.com/YBM9iVM.png)
BACKUP CANDY is primarily used to restore morale in times of despair. Aside from being unique in that it is the only item in one's inventory that does not require a turn to use, each type of candy carries different secondary effects; in your case, your GOOD & PLENTY regenerates a bit of HP and ENERGY, which helps with your pathetic VIM stat. The type of BACKUP CANDY one equips is of critical importance to their build! (Obsessive min-maxers will often despair that their most optimal candy is not one they like; you are fortunate in that this SOFT, CHEWY CANDY is your favorite in addition to being an effective choice.)
(http://i.imgur.com/1l2VLCv.png)
You receive JUST ENOUGH ENERGY to let loose one more verse!!
(http://i.imgur.com/MX6p1nZ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/M0q39BI.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/xR9QncA.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/sZ0A45z.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/oIh1aCh.png)
You have defeated THE NOTORIOUS LY-PRI in a rap battle! You gain +5 STREET CRED. She's right though - you barely pulled that one off. You probably wouldn't have won if you hadn't thrown her off guard.
(http://i.imgur.com/lI11bHp.png)
Unfortunately, you are now FULLY EXHAUSTED.
(http://i.imgur.com/ON0h6QW.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/I064lk4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/bXCNA4l.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CJiPw91.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/cSLb7eR.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CJiPw91.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/eIdyRc1.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CJiPw91.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CJiPw91.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CJiPw91.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/TeiBQYf.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/hFHmWj0.png)
~
(http://i.imgur.com/PkMkQDL.png)
================================================================
-- malebolgeTourist [MT] started babbling at devilsAdvocate [DA] at 3:52 --
MT: hey, how's the party ^^
DA: it's awesome
DA: im watchin some tanuki in a drinkin match with an oni
DA: i cant believe how well shes doin
MT: how late do you think it'll run?
DA: lol its an oni party for fs sake
DA: prob way past midnight
MT: so if i were to get there around nine
MT: there'd still be plenty of time to party, huh
DA: o shit
DA: r u already on ur way??
MT: of course not. we're not allowed to go to gensokyo, remember?
MT: i'm just saying
MT: hypothetically ^^
MT: if i were on my way i'd get there around nine
DA: ohh i getcha
DA: well i will hypothetically keep an eye out 4 u
(http://i.imgur.com/seKo1Ip.png)
MT: and, hypothetically
MT: i'd be bringing a friend!
MT: she's a fairy I met while travelling
DA: fairy?
MT: she's cute. you'd like her ^^
DA: ok sounds hypothetically good
DA: hold on SS is tryin to talk 2 me
-- sideshowSorceress [SS] started babbling at devilsAdvocate [DA] at 3:54 --
SS: Koa, you said you were going to a big party today, right?
DA: yeah its huge
DA: like everyone is here
SS: Is the Yama attending, by any chance?
DA: uhhhhhh
DA: dont think so
DA: havent seen her and it doesnt seem like her kinda thing
DA: unless she wanted 2 yell at people a lot
DA: oh
DA: her shinigami is here
DA: captain fatass drunktits
SS: Do you think you could talk to her and see if she can get the Yama to contact us?
DA: dont think so
DA: she was in the vip area i cant get in there
SS: Can you ask them to give her the message, then?
DA: uhh i guess
DA: is this about the thing you were talkin about earlier
SS: Yes. It's sort of urgent and we can't get ahold of anyone about it.
DA: how serious is this
SS: Pretty serious. We think we might need to tell mom about this.
DA: oh shit really?
DA: that is serious
DA: ok ill go do it
DA: brb
SS: Thanks, I appreciate it.
================================================================
> Be that midboss fairy for a sec.
(http://i.imgur.com/quXr1hH.png)
You are ERROR: NAME NOT FOUND, THE ERROR: TITLE NOT FOUND. Although you were originally a fairy from Gensokyo, you have been travelling far and wide outside it for many years now.
You possess the ABILITY TO TRAVEL. This is the kind of vaguely-worded ability that has the potential for COMPLETE BULLSHIT, but you are just a dumb fairy and you don't have the creativity to abuse it. Instead, you use it for its implied purpose of travelling to strange, exciting, and OCCASIONALLY DANGEROUS places. You can't really remember a lot of the places you've been, but you've had fun doing it!
You love to dress up, and frankly your fashion sense is KIND OF TERRIBLE. You just sort of throw on whatever you think looks neat at the time.
Lately you've been travelling with your friend LOUISE, who shares your PASSION FOR TOURISM. She has been taking you on a tour around Makai for the last few weeks, and now the two of you are headed to Gensokyo for a big underground party. So exciting!
(http://i.imgur.com/Vr2nfs9.png)
We don't really have a reason to be you yet, but let's just get one thing out of the way before we get back to Patch. For future reference, what should we call you?
> ENTER NAME: _
> ENTER NAME: Rengeteki
That's a dumb name. It doesn't even sound right in Japanese. Pick a better one!
> ENTER NAME: _
-
>Professor Tor Coolguy
-
>Fairy
-
> Threeflower
-
Watch it Stuffman: if you keep delivering this much win, the game will be over before we get to Act 2.
>Hyacinth
-
> Stuffman
> Stuffairy
> Elizabeth Tudor
-
FYI, there are two Japanese fanon nicknames for her, 光り子 Hikariko ("Daughter of Light"), and 金曜双子 Kin'you Soushi ("Friday Twins", "Twins of Venus", "Twins of the Metal Planet", "Twins of the Golden Star"), the later obviously based on the presumption that she's two different characters in LLS and MS.
> Goldie Rakshmi
> Goldie Pardie
> Goldie Sadie
-
> Her name is Yu Narukami or maybe Charlie Tunoku, there are no other acceptable options.
-
> Threeflower
> Her name is Yu Narukami or maybe Charlie Tunoku, there are no other acceptable options.
This is also acceptable.
-
> Torisugari no Fairy.
> Oboidoke.
<_<
-
Lately you've been travelling with your friend LOUISE, who shares your PASSION FOR TOURISM.
...
Lately you've been travelling with your friend LOUISE
...
your friend LOUISE
...
That's a dumb name. It doesn't even sound right in Japanese. Pick a better one!
> ENTER NAME: _
> THELMA
-
...
Alternatively, PENTHESILEA.
But you go by Pent for short.
-
> Torisugari no Fairy.
> Oboidoke.
> Check if we've tasted sea cucumber.
-
> Thelma
Clever way to give Patchy an excuse to get changed, by the way.
-
> Threeflower
Only valid option.
-
>Threeflower
IT IS THE ONLY ACTUAL CHOICE :|
-
> THELMA
> Thirding this.
-
>Thelma.
When I first saw all the Louise quotes I thought he was going to say something about Luize but I like this result too
-
Thanks, I needed that giggle.
> Hikariko, because it's legit Japanese and easier to remember than the other ones.
-
> THELMA
> Fourthing
> Hikariko
> Also seconding
-
>Threeflower
IT IS THE ONLY ACTUAL CHOICE :|
Is >Hanami (not necessarily spelled 花三 (http://translate.google.com/?hl=en&tab=wT#ja/en/花三)) a valid Japanese name? If yes, it has all my votes. No reason we can't have our cake and eat it too.
-
>Threeflower
One more flower than two, but one less than four.
-
>Hanami
>Jenny Everywhere
-
> George
-
> Thelma or Threeflower. I prefer Threeflower.
-
>Why not Thelma Threeflower
-
>Thelma Threeflower
whynotboth.png
-
>Why not Thelma Threeflower
-
Works for me!
(I have no idea what Threeflower is supposed to reference ??? )
-
(I have no idea what Threeflower is supposed to reference ??? )
For shame, Stuffman! Be educated (http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/index.php/Twoflower).
-
I went with that because everyone was going with that. (I don't even know the joke.)
-
> ENTER NAME: Thelma Threeflower
(http://i.imgur.com/5qmeYCX.png)
You are now known as THELMA THREEFLOWER.
(http://i.imgur.com/1pj9sYZ.png)
Turning your attention back to your TRAVEL AUTHORIZATION FORM, you tell Luize you don't know how to spell your name. She says it's okay and that people spell her name wrong all the time.
Looks like you and Louise will be waiting to get through security for a while anyway. The DREAM WORLD DEFENSE AUTHORITY sure takes this stuff seriously! But, unless you want to take a MASSIVE DETOUR, you have to pass through the DREAM WORLD to get to Gensokyo.
If only the MYSTIC SQUARE CAVE was still open!
> Be Patchouli again.
(http://i.imgur.com/G5ZTfsD.png)
A few minutes ago, Sakuya graciously relocated you to this modest dressing room backstage. Apparently, she had to travel all the way back to the mansion while time was stopped to get a change of clothes for herself, and brought you back a set as well, although you already had the ones in your inventory - a rare instance of you being more prepared for HOUSEHOLD ACCIDENTS than her. Therefore, you now have a clean set of pajamas as well as the spare set in your INVENTORY.
Sakuya left, saying she was going to go check on Remilia. You forgot to give her back her sunglasses, so you are holding onto those as well. You don't know where the fairy maids are.
You have just finished changing. You wish this room had something to lie down on, because you're feeling pretty tired and could really use a nap. Oh well, it probably isn't a good idea to sleep here anyway.
What will you do?
> _
-
>Rummage through drawers and bowl for useful things as if you were playing an RPG
-
>No, we're not a rat.
-
> Put on the shades.
-
>RPG search. especially for coffee.
>Conjure a bed and chill for a while.
-
> Put on the shades.
> How can we not?
-
>No, we're not a rat.
i never said take them
-
>The chair and light fixture positions clearly suggest a hidden switch. Toggle it at once!
-
>The chair and light fixture positions clearly suggest a hidden switch. Toggle it at once!
Oh yes this seconding
-
>Eat whatever's in the bowl.
-
>The chair and light fixture positions clearly suggest a hidden switch. Toggle it at once!
> Find out if you have to sit in the chair, like in Scooby Doo. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chz8TnoznDc)
> Incidentally, are there any mystery solving youkai dogs in Gensokyo?
-
I got this one, Stuffmangen
(http://i.imgur.com/ODFET73.jpg)
-
>Investigate spaces behind mirrors for peepers.
-
> Put on the shades.
>The chair and light fixture positions clearly suggest a hidden switch. Toggle it at once!
-
> Do what all good Librarian-dwelling Hihikomoris must do
> Read the book in your possession.
-
> Do what all good Librarian-dwelling Hihikomoris must do
> Read the book in your possession.
Of course.
-
>Rikako: Prod Patchouli, you think she's fallen asleep.
-
No Purplequest until all commissions are done. Sorry.
-
Is okay.
Fight commissions, Stuffman, for everlasting Purplequesteace!
-
Pesco told me to bump this, so blame him not me!
-
I'm pretty sure I could've just had Pesco unlock it when I was ready to update.
Also, if you opened this thread expecting an update, I laugh at you.
-
I am not laughed at.
Just sad, stuffs.
Just sad. :(
-
I am not laughed at.
Just sad, stuffs.
Just sad. :(
But I'm sad because I was laughed at. Either way it's a Lose/Lose situation.
-
Sadness overflows Rumia's Party Games as false hope pulses through the very veins of those who lurk.
-
This (http://purplequest.tumblr.com/post/54142949569) may amuse you while you wait for a real update.
-
... dahahaha
Double dahahaha. What the hell stuffman. :getdown:
-
i approve of all of the above
especially
(http://i.imgur.com/Zfrpl7D.gif)
-
Having never played Secret of Mana, I was unprepared for the merchant's epic dance, and ended up covering my keyboard with coke.
Cursed be you, Stuffman.
You and your awesomeness.
-
> Patchouli: Put on the shades.
(http://i.imgur.com/PSawihY.png)
If somebody barges in, you will claim you are a BIGSHOT PRODUCER waiting to meet with YAMAME KURODANI before the show. Good planning.
But mostly you put them on because the light is too bright in here. IT BURNS. You really wish you were back at the library, but at least you have a moment of peace.
> Patchouli: Examine mirror.
(http://i.imgur.com/SCUY05I.png)
This is a mirror.
A mirror is an object that reflects light in a way that preserves much of its original quality subsequent to its contact with the mirror.
Some mirrors also filter out some wavelengths, while preserving other wavelengths in the reflection. This is different from other light-reflecting objects that do not preserve much of the original wave signal other than color and diffuse reflected light. The most familiar type of mirror is the plane mirror, which has a flat surface. Curved mirrors are also used, to produce magnified or diminished images or focus light or simply distort the reflected image.
Mirrors are commonly used for personal grooming or admiring oneself (in which case the archaic term looking-glass is sometimes still used), decoration, and architecture. Mirrors are also used in scientific apparatus such as telescopes and lasers, cameras, and industrial machinery. Most mirrors are designed for visible light; however, mirrors designed for other types of waves or other wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation are also used, especially in non-optical instruments.
The first mirrors used by people were most likely pools of dark, still water, or water collected in a primitive vessel of some sort. The earliest manufactured mirrors were pieces of polished stone such as obsidian, a naturally occurring volcanic glass. Examples of obsidian mirrors found in Anatolia (modern-day Turkey) have been dated to around 6000 BC. Polished stone mirrors from Central and South America date from around 2000 BC onwards. Mirrors of polished copper were crafted in Mesopotamia from 4000 BC, and in ancient Egypt from around 3000 BC. In China, bronze mirrors were manufactured from around 2000 BC, some of the earliest bronze and copper examples being produced by the Qijia culture. Mirrors made of other metal mixtures (alloys) such as copper and tin speculum metal may have also been produced in China and India. Mirrors of speculum metal or any precious metal were hard to produce and were only owned by the wealthy.
Metal-coated glass mirrors are said to have been invented in Sidon (modern-day Lebanon) in the first century AD, and glass mirrors backed with gold leaf are mentioned by the Roman author Pliny in his Natural History, written in about 77 AD. The Romans also developed a technique for creating crude mirrors by coating blown glass with molten lead.
Parabolic mirrors were described and studied in classical antiquity by the mathematician Diocles in his work On Burning Mirrors. Ptolemy conducted a number of experiments with curved polished iron mirrors, and discussed plane, convex spherical, and concave spherical mirrors in his Optics. Parabolic mirrors were also described by the physicist Ibn Sahl in the 10th century, and Ibn al-Haytham discussed concave and convex mirrors in both cylindrical and spherical geometries, carried out a number of experiments with mirrors, and solved the problem of finding the point on a convex mirror at which a ray coming from one point is reflected to another point. By the 11th century, clear glass mirrors were being produced in Moorish Spain.
In China, people began making mirrors with the use of silver-mercury amalgams as early as 500 AD. Some time during the early Renaissance, European manufacturers perfected a superior method of coating glass with a tin-mercury amalgam. The exact date and location of the discovery is unknown, but in the 16th century, Venice, a city famed for its glass-making expertise, became a centre of mirror production using this new technique. Glass mirrors from this period were extremely expensive luxuries. The Saint-Gobain factory, founded by royal initiative in France, was an important manufacturer, and Bohemian and German glass, often rather cheaper, was also important.
The invention of the silvered-glass mirror is credited to German chemist Justus von Liebig in 1835. His process involved the deposition of a thin layer of metallic silver onto glass through the chemical reduction of silver nitrate. This silvering process was adapted for mass manufacturing and led to the greater availability of affordable mirrors. Nowadays, mirrors are often produced by the wet deposition of silver (or sometimes aluminum via vacuum deposition) directly onto the glass substrate.
Mirrors are manufactured by applying a reflective coating to a suitable substrate. The most common substrate is glass, due to its transparency, ease of fabrication, rigidity, hardness, and ability to take a smooth finish. The reflective coating is typically applied to the back surface of the glass, so that the reflecting side of the coating is protected from corrosion and accidental damage by the glass on one side and the coating itself and optional paint for further protection on the other.
In classical antiquity, mirrors were made of solid metal (bronze, later silver) and were too expensive for widespread use by common people; they were also prone to corrosion. Due to the low reflectivity of polished metal, these mirrors also gave a darker image than modern ones, making them unsuitable for indoor use with the artificial lighting of the time (candles or lanterns).
The method of making mirrors out of plate glass was invented by 16th-century Venetian glassmakers on the island of Murano, who covered the back of the glass with mercury, obtaining near-perfect and undistorted reflection. For over one hundred years, Venetian mirrors installed in richly decorated frames served as luxury decorations for palaces throughout Europe, but the secret of the mercury process eventually arrived in London and Paris during the 17th century, due to industrial espionage. French workshops succeeded in large scale industrialization of the process, eventually making mirrors affordable to the masses, although mercury's toxicity remained a problem.
In modern times, the mirror substrate is shaped, polished and cleaned, and is then coated. Glass mirrors are most often coated with non-toxic silver or aluminium, implemented by a series of coatings:
- Tin(II) chloride
- Silver
- Chemical activator
- Copper
- Paint
The tin(II) chloride is applied because silver will not bond with the glass. The activator causes the tin/silver to harden. Copper is added for long-term durability. The paint protects the coating on the back of the mirror from scratches and other accidental damage.
In some applications, generally those that are cost-sensitive or that require great durability, mirrors are made from a single, bulk material such as polished metal. For technical applications such as laser mirrors, the reflective coating is typically applied by vacuum deposition on the front surface of the substrate. This eliminates refraction and double reflections (a weak reflection from the surface of the glass, and a stronger one from the reflecting metal) and reduces absorption of light by the mirror. Technical mirrors may use a silver, aluminium, or gold coating (the latter typically for infrared mirrors), and achieve reflectivities of 90?95% when new. A protective transparent overcoat may be applied to prevent oxidation of the reflective layer. Applications requiring higher reflectivity or greater durability, where wide bandwidth is not essential, use dielectric coatings, which can achieve reflectivities as high as 99.999% over a narrow range of wavelengths.
There is nothing interesting about this particular mirror.
> Patchouli: Inspect candy bowl.
This bowl is full of an UNREASONABLY DIVERSE SELECTION OF JELLYBEAN VARIETIES. You can't even begin to guess what some of these flavors might be.
(http://i.imgur.com/QDmRIYX.png)
You recall that you have three empty slots of BACKUP CANDY. You decide to fill them with random jellybeans for now. You have no idea what their SECONDARY EFFECTS could be, but you can worry about your CANDY OPTIMIZATION later.
> Patchouli: Rummage through drawers.
You find a BATHROBE of ABOVE AVERAGE QUALITY. On closer inspection, this room does not appear to have a bathroom, so you're not sure what use this would be. The drawers are otherwise empty, suggesting this room is not currently being used (except by you).
> Patchouli: Search for secrets!
(http://i.imgur.com/LvcDIGp.png)
You pull on the light fixture. Nothing happens.
(http://i.imgur.com/R2gz2EU.png)
You spin the standing mirror. Nothing happens.
(http://i.imgur.com/M0YYH6W.png)
You sit in the chair. It is comfortable, but nothing happens.
(http://i.imgur.com/G9hM7Eh.png)
You check behind the dresser and find...could it be!?
A 500 YEN COIN!!
(http://i.imgur.com/1dSQRYb.png)
You promptly return the valuable object to the LOST AND FOUND!
Just kidding. You now have ?10500.
> Patchouli: Read book.
This room is decidedly LACKING IN ADVENTURE, which both surprises and upsets you. You decide to sit down and try to read the new book you bought.
(http://i.imgur.com/mKSUeVi.gif)
After looking at it for a while, you determine that there aren't a whole lot of spells in here, but rather that it seems to be some sort of ENCYCLOPEDIA that dedicates quite a bit of space to very accurate magic circle descriptions, magical arithmetic, names and locations, and the like. You come to the conclusion that this is probably some sort of ADVANCED SUMMONING SPELLBOOK, possibly for calling cosmic horrors.
You aren't even fit to summon a Chocobo, but it's interesting to look at, regardless. Too bad you can't understand any of the text.
...Wait a moment...you think you might be able to make some of this out...
(http://i.imgur.com/EvnPkEB.gif)
.̼̭̩͋͒̅̉͆.̰͔̉̇̄̀.̱̞̯̠͍̳ͨ͛̍̅J͑́ͯ̍͒u̞͉͕̠s͚̠̝̩̯̪̋̎̓ͮ̎ͦ̾t̲̟̺̰̾ͫ̉ ̯̋̄ͮ͆̌̓̎a̦̤̜̯̠͎̿̆̊͒ͧͪ̓ͅ ͓l̬̗̱̥͎͉͉͑͂̈́̋ͣ͗ͥĩ̗̥̘̖̗̦̖ͥ̎ͧ̑t̓t̫̼̏ͨͨͪͪ͆ͯl͓͙͙͕̂ͣ̃ͤe̐̏̒ ͎̤̯͔͔̼̩ͤͧ̽͌͆c̮̞̤̫̯̲̈́̅̄ͬͣͪ̓ͅl̐ó͎̹̩̼̰̦̂̋̀ͥͪ̾s̬̏̂̐̐͐͐ͤẽ̝̗ͬ̌r͔͚̼̤̙̐͛.̮̜͓ͣͭͤ̈́̏ͦ̓.̞͇̯̤̼̳͕̈ͬͧ̚.̖͚̖̤̻͉̮̏̇ͩ̇
(http://i.imgur.com/dH34nyP.gif)
(http://i.imgur.com/O8mcsyc.gif)
You are suddenly interrupted by the appearance of Remilia. She appears displeased with the results of her social gathering.
> _
-
> Throw an unidentified jellybean into Remilia's mouth.
-
>revolve frame of reference around self 90? clockwise, allowing screen to display Remilia through door.
Edit: Oh, it's a gif.
>do it anyway
-
More like 'Just a little closer.' *wink* *wink*
edit: The more I look at it the more obvious it gets. Sorry if I am pointing out the obvious.
-
It's supposed to be legible.
-
I JUST CAN'T STOP CRYING BUCKETS OF TEARS
>Brace for the inevitable Remilia rant. It's not like trying to pacify her ever did any good. Plus, you're tired!
-
> Shout FUCK YAKUMO along with Remilia. Always best to agree with her, and besides... who actually likes the Gap Hag?
-
> Wonder what that door is made out of, if it's capable of causing damage to the wall while taking no damage itself from Remilia's kick.
(Jellybean in Remilia's mouth is also a valid option)
-
> theshim: celebrate
> Make sure to save the shades!
-
>If Remilia didn't want to have a random jellybean tossed down her gullet, she wouldn't be making muppet mouths. This is destiny, she would surely say.
-
I JUST CAN'T STOP CRYING BUCKETS OF TEARS
same here.
>"Which one? There's three of them, you know."
-
>"Which one? There's three of them, you know."
> All of them. They are all terrible. Also do the thing with the jellybean.
-
>"No thank you, she's not my type."
>.>
<.<
It had to be said. :3
-
>"No thank you, she's not my type."
>This.
-
>"No thank you, she's not my type."
>.>
<.<
It had to be said. :3
I feel this would be more of Satori's response than Patchouli.
But it's so snarky I back it anyway.
-
>Make that 2 point shot with a jellybean into Remi's mouth.
-
> Patchouli: Say "no thanks, she's not my type."
(http://i.imgur.com/nyUeVAx.png)
So crass and played-out. What are you, an amateur?
> Patchouli: Throw a jellybean into Remilia's mouth.
(http://i.imgur.com/5V9kvb3.png)
Your throwing arm is NOT UP TO THE TASK, and you miss your mark by a wide margin.
Remilia seems to be too agitated to notice your CASUAL ACT OF TOMFOOLERY.
> Patchouli: Get shouted at.
(http://i.imgur.com/BxAWknu.png)
Remilia demands that you find out what Yukari's weakness is so that she can HIT HER WHERE IT HURTS. You tell her that if it was that easy, she probably would have been toppled as QUEEN PAIN IN THE ASS OF GENSOKYO ages ago. However, you will look into it regardless, because who wouldn't like to take Yukari down a notch?
Remi lets out one last GUTTURAL ROAR OF FRUSTRATION, and composes herself.
She says Sakuya told her about how you won the RAP BATTLE, and asks if you managed to gather any POPULARITY for the SDM as a result. You tell her that since you passed out onstage, it was KIND OF A WASH.
(http://i.imgur.com/ymWAd8X.png)
Considering her own failure to outshine the competition, Remilia is displeased with the lack of SOCIAL STANDING being gained from this shingdig. She carefully contemplates a plan to STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.
(http://i.imgur.com/9IbxOhy.png)
You promptly shoot it down, as her first idea is always the worst one. However, it's no use, as she is in love with it already. Remilia tells you she's going to go get Sakuya and that she'll be right back.
You have precious few moments left before you are inevitably swept up in this trainwreck. What will you do?
> _
[ note: this your last chance to do things as Patch before the end sequence! ]
-
>Grab handful of jellybeans.
>Devour in one bite.
-
>alchemically fuse fried soybeans with jellybeans.
-
> Take a closer look at jellybean bowl and assess contents.
> Hoard all of the physically augmenting candies.
> Think of dialogue options for Remilia's return.
-
>DEVOUR JELLYBEANS
-
You spin the standing mirror. Nothing happens.
I'd say "hold up" in front of the mirror (simulated by striking/holding a pose), but that'd be abusing meta-knowledge of Stuffman's castlevania fandom...
> Replace current two jellybeans with flavors you know you like. Also get one to replace the one tossed on the floor (I doubt you'll get many bonuses from candy that has broken the 5 second rule)!
>Close door and focus back on the book.
-
> Well, if it's the last scene of the act, then we're probably not coming back here. Eat all of the jellybeans, do not leave until this is done.
-
> Well, if it's the last scene of the act, then we're probably not coming back here. Eat all of the jellybeans, do not leave until this is done.
>No, we have to save some for our other characters.
-
>No, we have to save some for our other characters.
> I'm pretty sure that only Patchy benefits from candy-based consumables, but I'm ready to be proven wrong. The character optimisation going on is a bit off the charts.
-
> Delay end scene by using a Water Sign spellcard around Remilia
> Use delay to eat all the candy.
-
Man. I hope the next update involves some talking guitar.
-
>Prepare room for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts. Seal all entrances and exits. Close all shops in the mall. Cancel the 3-ring circus Secure all animals in the zoo.
-
>Get back to that book, we were on to something there.
-
> Continue studying that book while absentmindrdly eating all of the jellybeans as we go.
-
>Prepare room for ludicrous speed. Fasten all seat belts. Seal all entrances and exits. Close all shops in the mall. Cancel the 3-ring circus Secure all animals in the zoo.
> Determine the edible of the jellybeans
-
> Come up with a jellybean-based mnemonic. Surely this will give us the advantage at a later time.
>Get back to that book, we were on to something there.
-
>Quickly! Engineer bean tossing telekinetic magic with our TALENTS
to get the achievement soon to come for later usage in pranks!
-
>Be Iku.
-
Oh by the way, since some of the residents here may not have tumblr:
[attach=1]
I specifically requested all of the ribbon characters in one image.
-
> Just eat the
Gummies jellybeans. You never know what new IQ Skills stats they will give you!
-
Oh by the way, since some of the residents here may not have tumblr:
[attach=1]
I specifically requested all of the ribbon characters in one image.
Something about Hina with glasses is... magical.
-
>Be Iku.
Patience.
> Patchouli: Carefully consider jellybean optimization.
Unfortunately, you have no way of telling what the SECONDARY EFFECTS of each flavor of jellybean is. You do not have your EXHAUSTIVE PLAYER'S GUIDE on hand at the moment, and you cannot simply taste test them to determine their effects. You do not gain any benefit from simply eating candy; to gain the associated boosts, you must consume it from a BACKUP CANDY SLOT, which can only be used at a CRITICAL MOMENT, much like a LAST WORD.
You elect to simply figure out what flavor each color is, and pick your favorites.
Some time later, you settle on RED CINNAMON, FRENCH VANILLA, and BLACK LICORICE flavor jellybeans, and swap them with the randomly selected previous jellybeans.
With this careful deliberation resolved, you start eating the jellybeans by the fistful, because seriously eating these things one at a time is not satisfying at all.
> Patchouli: Read the book again.
Now, where were you? You open up the book once more to try to make some sense of that arcane gobbledegook.
(http://i.imgur.com/JxSqnJE.png)
Okay, that was bizarre.
You know what? You eat jellybeans instead. You just sit there and eat those jellybeans.
(http://i.imgur.com/2s3obb6.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/1clc8Vl.png)
However, you eventually reach a point where the jellybeans at the bottom of the bowl are stale. Presumably, somebody ate about half the bowl, refilled it, and continued this process until a sedimentary layer of the chewy confections formed at the bottom. You put the bowl back and leave it be, so that the cycle may begin anew.
(http://i.imgur.com/hhUU1uk.png)
Just as you are about to muster enough boredom to get out of your chair and go do something else, Remilia returns. Remilia explains that her plan is to STEAL THE SHOW by going out and making her DIVA DEBUT! All she needs you to do is figure out how to work the stage controls.
You tell her that this is a terrible idea, and that even if she sings well the crowd won't be okay with her trying to upstage the star of the show. Remilia retorts that the peasants have SHORT ATTENTION SPANS and will eat up anything you put in front of them. You don't necessarily disagree with this CYNICAL ASSESSMENT, so you let the point go.
You ask her what she's going to do about Kurodani, who is set to perform soon. She tells you that she has already sent Sakuya to TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.
(http://i.imgur.com/2kdgY9x.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/PKBzTql.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/lnjaCt8.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/pkVsg3a.png)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyIxdOctioo) ]
(http://i.imgur.com/3g6aECu.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Tt5Qnqf.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/m0PRwah.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/tktyuc0.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/pV4yZYZ.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/he1YsYK.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/v6ZfYcD.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/m2wnqBg.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/QbaYIIM.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/gPOkseX.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/GGhDPny.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/0p7Vr7d.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ultxPfJ.png)
> Patchouli: Examine stage controls.
Soon, you find yourself standing in front of the controls for the stage lighting and such, while Remilia prepares for her performance.
(http://i.imgur.com/wAq4MQS.png)
This control panel is much larger than it needs to be, with bright colors and large print labels. It was clearly designed in such a way that even a very drunk oni could operate it.
Once all the rappers have cleared out, you decide to turn some of the lights on to indicate the show will be starting soon. That should round up a crowd.
(http://i.imgur.com/vBdMXUS.png)
Unfortunately, you find that another side effect of these buttons being designed for a very drunk oni is that they are much too hard to press with your feeble strength!
(http://i.imgur.com/XWM05cc.png)
However, you quickly devise an ELEGANT SOLUTION. As expected, all manner of party guests start to gather.
> Patchouli: Start the show.
(http://i.imgur.com/LI4jXmT.png)
Once a sizable crowd of spectators has been rounded up, you dim the lights and give Remi the signal that you're about to start.
> Ichirin: GET HYPE.
(http://i.imgur.com/DD2wT.png)
The lights are dimming! The show's about to start!!
(http://i.imgur.com/mTyYv.png)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PG5ozMm7qw) ]
(http://i.imgur.com/a1NkS.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/qDuLC.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/WM2Ls.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Jqbm1.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/MpGRz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ExKQ3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/WbAgR.png)
> Patchouli: 2x Facepalm Combo.
(http://i.imgur.com/cRmVh.png)
You knew something like this would happen, but still.
(http://i.imgur.com/zeT7G.png)
> Patchouli: Assist Remilia.
The crowd is none too pleased that Remi has attempted to upstage their beloved Yamame. Looks like you?ll need to save Remi?s bacon.
(http://i.imgur.com/3DOdz.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/KSwjX.png)
Your throwing arm is MORE THAN A LITTLE RUSTY. So much for PLAN A.
> SET SPELL CARD!!
(http://i.imgur.com/LS9AEo1.png)
Seems like you'll get to pick a fight with an oni today after all!
> _
-
Do we get to make inputs for Remilia as well, or is the annoyingly Umaro-like?
-
> Put street cred to use and trashtalk like a dawg.
-
Do we get to make inputs for Remilia as well, or is the annoyingly Umaro-like?
You can't give Remilia commands, same as Kyouko.
-
Pocus, Hocus.
Remi will get annoyed if we steal her thunder at the start of the fight. Let her meatsheild while we prep to finish this farce.
-
Let her meatsheild while we prep to finish this farce.
> We can cast magic, but we can't sing to build up Burst, and rap-based Song Magic is completely unprecedented. Remi can sing, but we can't tank the hits for a fraction of an attack phase. What sort of party setup is this, anyway? >:<
> Just use your ultimate from the start.
-
>Perform the least-effort command available.
-
> We can cast magic, but we can't sing to build up Burst, and rap-based Song Magic is completely unprecedented. Remi can sing, but we can't tank the hits for a fraction of an attack phase. What sort of party setup is this, anyway? >:<
> Just use your ultimate from the start.
>Play Battle Music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=winKFP3Pelg)
-
>This is serious business. Devour the jellybean in the first slot!
-
> Patchouli: Engage in pre-battle trash talk.
This is SUIKA IBUKI, an oni that caused the IMMATERIAL AND MISSING POWER INCIDENT a few years back (who the hell thought that was a good name?), and was the first oni that had appeared on the surface of Gensokyo in ages. As you are apparently the only person who takes the ONI THREAT as seriously as one should, you and her have had a few run-ins here and there; nothing particularly personal, but the tension is there.
However, making a scene in this position would be upstaging Remilia, and she won't like that one bit. You'll just have to sit in the back and play second fiddle.
(http://i.imgur.com/W4m0mVm.png)
Subtly, though, you see Ibuki acknowledge your presence. She gives you the STINK EYE. You retaliate with a DISDAINFUL GLARE.
The first round begins!
> Remilia: Charisma Break.
(http://i.imgur.com/xVcc46Z.png)
Whoops! Looks like that bug never got patched. Because Remilia can accept a command from you, the game lets you have control of her turn, but the only command you can enter is "Charisma Break".
You set Remilia to AUTO-BATTLE to prevent her from wasting any further turns.
(http://i.imgur.com/VjHWTZZ.png)
Ibuki winds up, and uses THROWING MOUNT TOGAKUSHI!
(http://i.imgur.com/S0H3f8A.png)
You stop the attack with your GEO-PARRY. You are FULLY IMMUNE to Earth-based damage today.
> Patchouli: Devour Backup Candy.
The situation is nowhere near critical enough to warrant the consumption of something as precious as BACKUP CANDY!
> Patchouli: Pocus, Hocus.
You do your wizardly duty and attempt to debuff the enemy.
(http://i.imgur.com/sKZj1KW.png)
Despite being a traditional cornerstone of the magician's repetoire, status ailments are notoriously unreliable because almost everyone in Gensokyo is a BOSS. Rather than poking for holes in their immunities by trial and error, you have picked up a skill that is significantly more efficient in the ACTION ECONOMY.
You use HOCUS POCUS. This skill throws a heap of shitty minor status ailments on the enemy. Although the effectiveness is inconsistent, with this kind of strategy, SOMETHING is bound to stick.
(http://i.imgur.com/p1rs0bw.png)
Even an oni like Ibuki is no exception. Ibuki is now BAMBOOZLED!
You forget what BAMBOOZLED does.
> _
-
> Prestidigitation
Maybe with some silly tricks we can take advantage of Suika being Bamboozled.
-
Patchy, every time you say that word you make me think of the eighties (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCuTrfTfGd0).
-
> Make a note to review status ailments whenever we return home. It is quite upsetting that a master magician such as ourselves has forgotten basic battle mechanics.
> Assemble a list of available actions sorted by effort:outcome ratio, and execute the highest-yielding actions.
-
> Definitely Prestidigitation.
-
> Definitely Prestidigitation.
-
> Definitely Prestidigitation.
> We might indeed exacerbate the Bamboozled status by further Befuddling her with some simple card tricks.
-
You can't give Remilia commands, same as Kyouko.
Dammit we need to see her perform a GIGA CHARISMA BREAKER.
-
> Power Throw "RTFM"
> If that doesn't work, than just attack her with your Fists.
EDIT: Well, he did say that he might force us to start our commands with a P.
-
neither of those were options
-
neither of those were options
> Then MAKE THEM OPTIONS.
-
neither of those were options
To be fair, in Ichirin's chapter it was mentioned you can enter any command you want. The P commands are just the default options.
Actually, maybe I should force you to start any custom battle command with a P.
-
>Phlogistonate.
-
>Phlogistonate.
> Seconded. Gotta fill our MMMPH meter.
-
> (Continue.)
(http://i.imgur.com/7rgSL62.png)
Remilia uses REMILIA STRETCH! She just kind of poses there for a second while it charges up.
(http://i.imgur.com/IPMYiyL.png)
Seeing this, Ibuki tries to jab her out of it! Ahaha, you dumbass.
(http://i.imgur.com/cPeIHfQ.png)
This move has SUPER ARMOR! Ibuki incurs a huge wad of damage to the face for her efforts. Really, Ibuki?? Who falls for that??
But now you remember! The BAMBOOZLED status greatly increases the accuracy of TRICKY MOVES against the target. You can definitely exploit this.
(http://i.imgur.com/wcD0pzY.png)
However, Ibuki quickly returns the favor, striking Remilia with the dreaded LOLIBALL maneuver.
> Patchouli: Prestidigitation.
You dig through your spell list to find something that will take advantage of Ibuki's BAMBOOZLEMENT.
(http://i.imgur.com/uvQchML.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Pew0a1W.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/1e7I9li.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/FMUt28V.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/8K8PQmY.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/R0QMfez.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/CVW26qU.png)
Having fallen for such a SIMPLE RUSE, Ibuki is now BEFUDDLED and VERY UPSET! The former makes her likely to pick the WRONG TARGETS for her attacks, while the latter causes her to make POOR LIFE DECISIONS.
(http://i.imgur.com/JO0Baaa.gif)
At the start of the next round, Remilia takes advantage of the stacked confusion effects and beats on Ibuki with some AMBIGUOUS CROSSUPS!
(http://i.imgur.com/pQMpYCL.png)
Ibuki has had enough of this! She generates a horde of MINI-SUIKAS to flood the field while she gets her bearings.
(http://i.imgur.com/0qPHVZp.png)
You are now up to your armpits in MINI-SUIKAS.
> Patchouli: Phlogistonate.
(http://i.imgur.com/NEcKUsy.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/cQvrubQ.png)
You are now up to your armpits in BURNING MINI-SUIKAS.
> _
-
>Apply Water Sign: Bury in Lake to wash the mini-Suikas away. And as Adventurers! has taught us, this should result in them being wet and on fire.
-
Woah, you layered on the Jojo's pretty thick there.
>Use wind to blow them all down!
-
>Pressurize.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3djXcx2ewQ
Suika, you fool!
-
> Good. Lots of Suikas means lots of MMMPH. Taunt the Suikas! (http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Phlogistinator)
> And if that doesn't work, philosophize at the Suikas. With the Philosophy Rock Thinker's Pebble Philosopher's stone. Because it's not philosophy unless someone gets hurt.
Incidentally, whats the deal with the fire chicken man?
-
(holy shit my sides at this update)
(im dying stuffman)
(tears of laughter irl)
>Yukari: Rudely interrupt.
-
Capth, that's part of the thick layers of Jojo I mentioned.
-
Incidentally, whats the deal with the fire chicken man?
That's Magician Red (http://jjba.wikia.com/wiki/Magician's_Red).
-
That's Magician Red (http://jjba.wikia.com/wiki/Magician's_Red).
Ah. Thanks Stuffman.
-
> Use Astral Finish
-
> Continue the Agni Shine. The only solution for burning is more burning
-
> Use Sticky Bubbles to trap the Mini-Suikas.
-
>Red Bind.
-
>Form a conga line.
-
> Use PK Starstorm.
-
>Proscribe
(Yes, I did just look up a synonym for banish that started with P.)
-
> Plane Shift some of those Mini-Suikas away.
-
>
Pelvic Thrust
>Use Emerald City. They'd never see that coming!
-
Patchy doesn't know the names of the fairy maids because we haven't named them yet. Presumably their names should reflect either their skill or their hairpin, plus a unique integer. The muffin fairy has a hairpin which is a flower with five petals and a significant central node. This is a difficult flower to identify. I suspect it is Morning Glory, but this is not ideal for a name, especially if we want to add in other elements. Other potential flowers: Petunia or Cherry (less significant central node), Daffodil or Anemone (six petals instead of five), Daisy (wrong type of flower altogether). Petunia or Gloria seem to be good candidates.
The unique integer would be if we want the fairies to have some name theme. Thelma Threeflower, Gloria Fivemuffin, Sparkle Twosheets, et cetera.
-
> Continue the Agni Shine. The only solution for burning is more burning
> This, there is nothing that Magician's Red's fire cannot solve!
-
> This, there is nothing that Magician's Red's fire cannot solve!
>Reminisce how we lost the T-shirt, or something, in Mcdonalds.
-
> (Continue.)
(http://i.imgur.com/5r6Lbyv.png)
Remilia uses RED THE NIGHTLESS CASTLE, creating a momentary lapse in MINI-SUIKA COVERAGE.
That has got to be the most bizarre spellcard title in all of Gensokyo. Sure gets the job done, though!
(http://i.imgur.com/VQ736fK.png)
However, Ibuki has bought enough time to muster some HUGE GUTS! She gains massive physical damage resistance (which you don't care about) and a massive increase in her attack damage (which you very much do).
(http://i.imgur.com/tl3Mb4b.png)
Ibuki attempts to clobber Remilia! However, her BEFUDDLED status causes her to punch herself instead, but her defense is so high that it barely matters, so it's kind of a wash. She seems displeased with another wasted turn, however.
> Patchouli: Philosopher's Stone.
You decide to put out some DPS, since you're liable to get 1HKO'd any minute now. You hypothesize that Ibuki gains her HUGENESS ATTRIBUTE from the power of the earth since she can't fly while she's using it, so you tap into the Philospher's Stone for some elemental energy and hit her with a WOOD SPELL.
(http://i.imgur.com/EfjVNkj.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/DjDoS2Y.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/hdETtcq.png)
You commence ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT to keep Ibuki and her swarm of ankle biters under control. Seems to work pretty well.
Remilia's turn comes around again.
Remi has the PRESTIGE CLASS, NOBLE. Nobles have access to all the highest level physical and magical attacks, at the expense of mediocre stats. However, VAMPIRES are well known for the BROKEN STAT BONUSES. Yes, Remilia's build is just as overpowered as it sounds. To get right to the point, though, she has plenty of powerful magic attacks she could use against Ibuki's HUGE GUTS.
But she's going to use a physical attack anyway, just to prove a point. And she's got just the ticket.
(http://i.imgur.com/aV1F93f.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/3wJ5zfq.png)
Against a large target like Ibuki, Remilia easily lands a SICK CRIT, blowing right through her defenses. Ibuki fumes.
(http://i.imgur.com/unaKfia.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/gRc0EIT.png)
Ibuki uses her ABILITY TO GATHER and GATHERS SOME YAKUMOS!
(http://i.imgur.com/5rXtCbj.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/wao3NiV.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/ZOra3UM.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/EqEvuvB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/9fBwh86.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/Pl4cWcq.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/lOlsAXP.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/LvURiV3.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/XJjbyMe.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/BYtTFFB.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/avpy8b9.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/DMF60Y4.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nolSYjl.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/nFrfCOD.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/M0Rdl1z.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/aaIB58C.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/mR5HT7s.png)
Before she vanished, presumably SPIRITED AWAY BY KAMISHIRASAWA, Remilia gave but one last utterance.
"FUCK YAKUMO".
~
(http://i.imgur.com/CpqPJZy.png)
And that's your story.
Essentially, it seems that an enormous gap was created by accident, and Yakumo was too drunk to do anything about it, so it grew out of control. Quite simple, really. You prefer lay the blame SQUARELY ON IBUKI.
But Satori says there was a chain of events that makes the gap far more dangerous, and Rikako insists that foul play was involved!
> END OF ACT 1 PART 2
Whose mysteries will you unfold next?
(http://i.imgur.com/qGQCOua.png)
> SELECT PLAYER: _
-
> Satori for the third time
-
> Science time guys come on vote Rikako
-
> Rikako Asakura the Science Gal
-
In the grim future there is only Satori.
-
I'm gonna go with Kilga and Purvis on this one, let's save SCIENCE for last.
>Satori!
http://i.imgur.com/mR5HT7s.png
WE CAN'T STOP HERE
THIS IS GAP COUNTRY
-
In the grim future there is only Satori.
...Which means that Satori has to go last! Rikako time!
-
I guess I'm required to vote Satori too since all the other guys with staff tags are doing it.
-
Also, hats off to Stuffman for finishing a really, really long arc (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12111.msg833722.html#msg833722).
-
> Sato(ry
-
Also, hats off to Stuffman for finishing a really, really long arc (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,12111.msg833722.html#msg833722).
Yes. God damn that took forever. Granted, there were a lot of factors;
- Reminisce taking over a month to make
- An additional Reisen segment in addition to the Yukari one
- A few months of downtime when I was working on commissions
Even accounting for all that, though, I took about twice as long as I did on Ichirin. Mainly because I had a lot more ideas and the art quality went up, I guess.
The number of actual updates isn't much higher - about 35 for Ichirin and 40 for Patch - but Patch's are much much longer.
-
> Satori is the only answer.
-
> Rikako for science shenanigans.
-
>Satori
-
(http://i.imgur.com/VQ736fK.png)
RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS!
also rikako
-
Satori
-
Satori
-
Rikako.
(did I recreate the tie? Ohhh I hope I did.)
-
Satori, because that includes Orin, Okuu and Koishi (well probably), who doesn't love those 3?
-
Satori
-
I want Rikako's part to be as awesome as possible. Voting for Satori next.
-
I think that considering their individual contributions to the story, "More dangerous than we'd expect" should come before "There was foul play".
as such ACHIEVE SATORI
-
Satori. Then we can do Rika last.
-
>Rikako.
-
Satori.
If we don't get any mind-reading shenanigans in her story I think I'll lose it
-
>Satori
does stuffman dream of electric waifus?
-
Voting for Unenergetic Satorin.
-
You people are failing science
-
Nah, we're just saving the best for last. :3
-
Satori.
-
[attach=1]
-
SATORI
18
RIKAKO
8
-
Tumblr votes slightly favor Rikako, but Satori still takes it with an enormous lead.
And one person wants Akyu because :derp:
-
(http://i.imgur.com/C22CPhg.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/VA6Kn8S.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/21NiLZO.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/FcFy2DA.jpg)
-
Oh sweet Purplequest upda-
=|
-
>SWEET SARA: BEWHORE!!!!! OPOPTICK BSLATS
-
:dragonforce:
-
> Sara: Sigh as you draw your katana.
-
(http://i.imgur.com/11YjWBX.jpg)
Mission accomplish, now where are all the demons?
-
It is a good day.
>Sara: Go meet the new friend Luiz.
Oh sweet Purplequest upda-
=|
Banned.
-
>Meira: Keep slaying demons?
-
> No, Meira, you are the demons.
-
> Stuffman: Update again quickly to remove unspeakable horror from front page.
(http://i.imgur.com/ae28w5a.png)
Hahaha, NOPE! You're going to read your shitty SBaHJ parody and you're going to like it!
(http://i.imgur.com/5LCyXnP.png)
Wait, this is an update.
Dangit.
Fine, let's move on.
~
> ACT 1 PART 3
> Be Satori.
(http://i.imgur.com/V2GkN6v.png)
That is not Satori.
Get out of the way, Orin!
(http://i.imgur.com/Pm5VzcU.png)
Damn it, cat, don't lay down. Move!
Sigh.
(http://i.imgur.com/NROExPO.png)
Look, Orin! It's a corpse!
(http://i.imgur.com/8Vnh03T.png)
Go get it, Orin! Go get the corpse!
That'll keep her busy for a while.
> Actually be Satori.
(http://i.imgur.com/kKQoyXC.png)
You are SATORI KOMEIJI, THE SICKNESS IN EVERYONE'S HEART. (I'm using her Double Spoiler title, because it's rad.) You are the master of the underground PALACE OF THE EARTH SPIRITS, which overlooks the recently no-longer-defunct HELL OF BLAZING FIRES. It is inhabited only by you, your many pets, and occasionally your SISTER.
You possess the ABILITY TO READ PEOPLE'S HEARTS, an ability all creatures of your particular species possess. This is enabled by the power of your THIRD EYE. You are widely feared for this ability, and shunned by almost everyone who knows you have it. As it turns out, the number of people that enjoy having their minds read amounts to EXACTLY NOBODY. Unfortunately, you can't simply stop doing it; for you, reading someone is as natural as looking at them.
On the other hand, you are loved by ANIMALS because you provide them with a MEANS TO COMMUNICATE, something which they normally lack. As such, you allow a large number of animals of all shapes and sizes to reside in the palace as your pets; without them, the place would just be too empty. Some of them are youkai animals, who assist in keeping the rest of your pets fed and cared for (which would otherwise be a large workload).
You are an obsessive BIBLIOPHILE, and you spend most of your time reading and writing books. The ones you publish you do so anonymously, as having your name on them would likely be unhealthy for their popularity.
(http://i.imgur.com/FuAUPZY.png)
Today is a special day! YUUGI HOSHIGUMA of the oni has sent out mass invitations to a GIGANTIC PARTY IN FORMER HELL as a gesture of FRIENDSHIP between the youkai of the surface and the underground, partially to ease tensions after RECENT EVENTS (of which you were a part). Yesterday, you received a FRIENDLY THREATENING LETTER insisting on your attendance. You have no desire whatsoever to attend, but when Yuugi Hoshiguma insists on something, you BEST BE OBLIGING.
You are currently in your room, getting very nervous about the party and trying to keep your mind off it. You just hope that with all the youkai coming from the surface, you'll be able to get lost in the crowd and nobody will notice your presence.
> _
-
> Satori: Check for usual thoughts.
-
>Retrieve armoire from fourth wall.
-
>Examine arms for possible length-related defects.
-
> PIKACHU
-
>Check skill thicket
>Check chest for usual growths
>Examine (in order of importance): [Odd phonograph with headphones, bean bag chair, electric rodent, lava lamp, twin pillow, dresser, some books maybe, thing attached to top of desk (a light?)]
-
> PIKACHU
This
>also examine headphones, lavalamp, loose books, and hair brush (does we even use it?).
-
>How much hair is EVERYWHERE?
-
>Do the Dinosaur.
-
>Cat planet cat planet cat pl- LAVALAVALAVALAVALAVALAMP
-
> Those 2 distinctly different books on the shelf
-
>Remove dat sweet box under our bed
On second thoughts...
>Examine everything the PLOT wants us to
-
> When was the last time we smiled a genuine smile?
-
> How does our mindreading work?
> Can we tell the difference between thoughts and real words? Do we physically see what's on a person's mind, like a silent movie? Do we hear the thoughts as though they were speaking? Both? If there is a lot of people in one place, does it effect our ability to see/hear reality over all the noise of the thousands of minds?
-
> YOU GET THOSE HEADPHONES OFF THE FLOOR THIS INSTANT LADY seriously someone might step on them and break them.
-
>Check skill thicket
>Check chest for usual growths
>Examine (in order of importance): [Odd phonograph with headphones, bean bag chair, electric rodent, lava lamp, twin pillow, dresser, some books maybe, thing attached to top of desk (a light?)]
Going with Drake in this case.
Maybe also
>Discover routes and hope the sister route isn't the highest scoring one so far.
-
> How did our sister get a much more original name than us?
-
> Ooh, what records are available to me for BGM up in here?
-
> Read Stuffman's mind.
> Read *MY* mind.
> Find All The Pets
-
>Attempt to straighten hair. Kinda. Sorta.
>Examine books. Find one that can be hidden easily in a sleeve/pocket/purse for reading later.
-
> How would we fare if we lost our mind-reading powers?
> Ponder the likelihood of such an event.
-
>Examine picture of our beloved pets.
-
> Satori: Examine phonograph.
Like most of the small amount of modern technology you've managed to get your hands on, you ordered this KAPPATECH PHONOGRAPH (complete with headphones) by mail order through the KAPPATECH CATALOGUE. When you can find the time, you enjoy settling into your beanbag chair for hours at a time and just listening to an album front to back as you drift off into a dreamlike state.
You possess an affinity for the theater and the fine arts, so most of your collection is classical piano and orchestral pieces, as well as a few operas. The most modern albums you own are some smooth jazz and easy listening compilations.
(http://i.imgur.com/6toQNHC.png)
[ BGM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcp70MpCclY) ]
You pull the headphones out of the jack and put on some tunes.
> Satori: Check chest for usual growths.
(http://i.imgur.com/khExnhD.png)
What growths? There is nothing to speak of.
Of course, some people like that sort of thing.
(http://i.imgur.com/GbzN0ZJ.png)
Those people are DAMN DIRTY LOLICONS.
No, Kilga. I don't care what she looks like in SoPM.
> Satori: Check arms for usual length.
(http://i.imgur.com/sV3X56g.png)
They're three or four inches too short for your height, you guess. Doesn't really matter, you have enough telekinesis to make the lack of leverage irrelevant.
Speaking of which,
> Satori: Check Skill Thicket.
(http://i.imgur.com/6BRJBgo.png)
HEARTTECH is your core SKILL TREE. Your ABILITY allows you to avoid putting points in the basic prerequisites and get right to the good stuff. It deals with understanding and manipulating memories, thoughts, and emotions, for good or for ill; you have invested mostly in the ILL, as occasions where you find yourself in a position to help someone are rare indeed.
SUMMONTECH is mostly intended for those who make contracts with otherworldly beings to do their bidding - y'know, summoners - but it also has some branches dedicated to working with magical creatures you may find yourself allied with by other means. In particular, you have bought into this SKILL TREE to make better use of your PETS in combat, who are always eager to assist (provided they are around).
PSYCHOTECH is a very expansive SKILL TREE that is similar to MAGICTECH, but the way it is structured lends itself to heavy specialization in one psychic ability at a time, as opposed to the grab bag of spells magic offers. You haven't delved too deep into any one area, though. Some notable techniques you have are short-range telekinesis (useful for circumventing your unimpressive VIM stat) and some basic misdirection/illusion (provided you can get into your enemy's head). You can also shoot GENERIC PSYCHIC ENERGY BALLS, which you use as your standard danmaku.
You are currently trying to develop some PSYCHOTECH skills that would expand the use of your THIRD EYE. Which causes us to, again, segue into...
> Satori: Check third eye and ponder relevant gameplay mechanics.
(http://i.imgur.com/bHClX13.png)
The eyeball isn't just for show, it needs to actually have a direct line of sight to someone in order to read their heart, and must maintain said line of sight as long as you continue to do so. Fortunately, it is very agile and has excellent tracking ability, which is the upshot of it just floating freely like that. It can also see perfectly in the dark and decently through fog or smoke, but any solid object, even something like a thick curtain, pretty much blocks it.
When you read someone's heart, you get their surface thoughts plus any visualizations the person is seeing. You can't receive sound, but you can understand how the person is interpreting what they're hearing. You can read two or three people at a time if they're standing next to each other, and follow them about as well as you could follow a spoken conversation between a small group. The eye doesn't wander, it pays attention to whoever you're directing your attention at. This is mostly a good thing, preventing you from being overwhelmed by a crowd.
Reading anything deeper than a person's surface thoughts is more complicated. You have techniques for reading a person's memories, but they involve poking at a person's mental weaknesses to stir them up and reveal what's underneath, which is generally an unpleasant experience. For the person being poked at, that is. You usually don't care.
> Satori: Consider possibility of third eye being injured.
The upshot of having your third eye float around like that has already been mentioned, so this would be the downside. It happens, and it sucks.
If the veins are torn or cut, it's painful, but they grow back within a few minutes. The eye itself, on the other hand, will be out of commission for days if it gets bruised or cut. When that happens, you have no choice but to keep it shut until it heals. You usually have an accident of the sort every two or three years; whenever it happens, it's a pretty miserable experience because you can't properly communicate with anyone. Your poor pets in particular are left without any way to speak to you, and you are pretty much entirely dependant on your youkai pets to take care of things during this time. It wasn't so bad when you had your sister to help, but...
You shudder to think what she must have done to injure her eye that badly.
Once again, this causes you to segue into...actually, no, you don't want to think about that right now. Let's just look at some things in your room.
> Satori: Examine mirror.
(http://i.imgur.com/az0wsxG.png)
This is a mirror.
A mirror is an object that reflects light in a way that preserves much of its original quality subsequent to its contact with the mirror.
Some mirrors also filter out some wavelengths, while preserving other wavelengths in the reflection. This is different from other light-reflecting objects that do not preserve much of the original wave signal other than color and diffuse reflected light. The most familiar type of mirror is the plane mirror, which has a flat surface. Curved mirrors are also used, to produce magnified or diminished images or focus light or simply distort the reflected image.
Mirrors are commonly used for personal grooming or admiring oneself (in which case the archaic term looking-glass is sometimes still used), decoration, and architecture. Mirrors are also used in scientific apparatus such as telescopes and lasers, cameras, and industrial machinery. Most mirrors are designed for visible light; however, mirrors designed for other types of waves or other wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation are also used, especially in non-optical instruments.
The first mirrors used by people were most lik
> Satori: Stop examining mirror, examine the rest of the vanity.
You don't really use your vanity often, as you have opted for a low-maintenance haircut that your veins won't get caught in. You don't know how your sister can stand keeping her hair long.
You'd kind of like to move the vanity elsewhere to make space for another bookshelf in your room, but you wouldn't be able to ensure the safety of your PERFUME COLLECTION that way.
(http://i.imgur.com/cccUEyM.png)
You keep a healthy supply of perfume in stock to combat the various unavoidable odors involved with keeping a large number of animals in the house. Between your perfume and your frequent bathing (you take a bath at least twice a day) you make it a point to smell nice at all times. As a result, your room smells nice, too.
> Satori: Examine desk.
This is an ordinary writing desk. It is not your main writing desk, which is in your study, but it is important nonetheless. It is most often used to write in your DREAM DIARY.
You have writing desks in nearly every room in the palace. There are never enough desks around here.
> Satori: Examine bed.
This is a king-size four post canopy bed, the kind ideal for doing lewd things in.
...Not that you ever do lewd things.
But you could.
> Satori: Examine lava lamp.
(http://i.imgur.com/Bm3UfGu.png)
This is a lava lamp full of REAL LAVA, tinted blue and perpetually kept hot by means you do not understand. Handling this thing without potholders is unwise, but the mood lighting it provides is perfect when you turn off the other lights.
It would, again, be perfect for doing lewd things.
Y'know. If lewd things were a thing you did.
> Satori: Examine armoire.
If I can't be assed to draw it in the room picture, I can't be assed to draw it now. The appearance of Satori's armoire will forever be a mystery.
You don't really have anything in the way of fashion, just a bunch of different small variations of your usual outfit, and various kinds of outerwear to go over it, depending on the weather. As one can imagine, getting dressed without getting your veins caught is obnoxiously time-consuming. Your clothes are mostly custom made to make it more convenient.
You don't want to get dressed for the party just yet. You can do that to stall when it's time to leave later.
> Satori: Examine Pokemon plushie.
(http://i.imgur.com/ezMFPGg.png)
This is Pikachu, a mysterious electrical creature often depicted in the outside world, possibly a relative of the raijuu.
Supposedly, in the mythical land of Kanto, one can encounter "pocket monsters", which are wild beasts with strange powers that humans capture with magical orbs. Humans then compete to see who can raise the strongest pocket monster. To reach the top, one must travel across the land to challenge eight powerful generals, taking their insignias as proof of victory. Only when these are gathered does one gain the right to challenge the four heavenly kings, and once this monumental task is complete, they may duel the champion of all pocket monsters to take the title for themselves.
(http://i.imgur.com/AJK2aOX.png)
You happen to possess a book that describes the land of Kanto, and the manner in which it is written leaves it unclear whether it is fictional or not. It almost seems to be a guide of some sort, providing maps and wise advice to anyone who would brave the untamed wilds. How curious!
In any case, this Pikachu here is apparently quite rare. It can only rarely be found in a dense forest swarming with poisonous insects. You admit you'd like to catch a real one for yourself!
> Satori: Examine the conspicuous book.
(http://i.imgur.com/xbyUJM3.png)
This is your FAMILY PHOTO ALBUM. It contains a LONG STORY.
You don't want to look at this right now.
> Satori: Examine the other one, then.
This, on the other hand, would be a nice distraction.
(http://i.imgur.com/eeo3BX0.png)
First of all, though, you make sure your door is securely locked. Can't have anyone walking in on this.
This book is actually a HIDDEN SWITCH that leads to a SECRET CHAMBER.
(http://i.imgur.com/lfm9YbI.png)
Inside this room is something you can't let anyone find out about. It is your darkest secret. It is the skeleton in your closet.
(http://i.imgur.com/IrxOtKY.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/I5JGDN4.png)
It is your MOUNTAIN OF SELF-INSERT FANFICTION.
Nobody can ever know.
> _
-
>
And now us readers know. We must be killed. Our bodies will not be found. What have we self-inserted ourselves into?
-
I KNEW ITTTTTT
-
> Try to remember where Koishi is, she is the LAST person you want finding out about this...
-
>Read an excerpt from our collection.
-
> Aren't we self-inserting right now, being the player character and all?
-
> What the hell, I didn't even make that chest check command and I still got yelled at. :(
-
>Because know, Kilga. We know.
>Mentally recount our literary escapades?
-
Hey, I was told it was creepy so I stopped.
-
>What the heck is that animal in our thicket?
-
>Satori: Feel shame. Shame for your mountain of self-insert pornography. Shame.
>What the heck is that animal in our thicket?
AHAHAHAHA I MISSED THIS AT FIRST
Well played, Stuffman.
It is a Pretty Cure reference.
-
> POSTERS
-
> Aren't we self-inserting right now, being the player character and all?
No, you're role-playing. That's completely different!
>What the heck is that animal in our thicket?
That's Potpourri, a fairy that protects the Heart Tree in Heartcatch Precure.
Hey, I was told it was creepy so I stopped.
Don't worry, Drake is here to pick up the slack.
-
> Look at/Think about your unfinished plots.
-
> Satori: Check a couple of Self-Insert Fanfics. You may have forgotten about them.
-
> I trust we publish these things? Under a pseudonym, of course.
-
> Read our earliest written work in our stash if it still exists, for old times' sake.
-
Consider people most likely to find our stash and countermesures should such an event happen, by order of severity of course (Good thing Shameimaru can't normally be in the underground...)
-
Hey, I was told it was creepy so I stopped.
Blame Drake.
>Do we have non-self insert Fanfics?
-
She doesn't even look particularly non-loli in SoPM either :V
-
> Satori's Armoire: Appearate
> Satori: This room is tarp. Of course we're meant to be tempted poke through the fanfics, abort abort abort
-
Wait, isn't she telling Patchy and the rest of the purple avengers about her self insert fanfiction right this instant? Or is she just dissimulating it with a veiled lie?
"My secret room filled wiiiiiiith... more books!"
-
>Ponder how we managed the mental fortitude to not burn half the works here.
Wait, isn't she telling Patchy and the rest of the purple avengers about her self insert fanfiction right this instant? Or is she just dissimulating it with a veiled lie?
I'm pretty sure Patchy didn't actually tell everyone about the actual forbidden porn. Though Satori might know now....
-
Wait, isn't she telling Patchy and the rest of the purple avengers about her self insert fanfiction right this instant? Or is she just dissimulating it with a veiled lie?
"My secret room filled wiiiiiiith... more books!"
It's ludo-narrative segregation maaaaaaaan. It is an unfortunate cornerstone of modern game design, stemming from the desire to use interactive entertainment media as a means of enhanced storytelling that often clashes with the necessary-by-design requirement of immersive gameplay and solid mechanics, maaaaaaaaaan.
Either that, or it is a plot hole. Submitting my official complaint in triplicate.
-
Stuffman had already said that not everything being shown is actually being said by the character we're controlling.
-
Stuffman had already said that not everything being shown is actually being said by the character we're controlling.
Damn. So he did.
-
yeah damn him for being a good narrator and foreseeing problems like this ahead of time
-
> Satori: Read fanfiction.
(http://i.imgur.com/vz6iQGd.png)
Leaving Madoka sheltered by a barrier of her magical ribbons, Mami charged into the fray and made her entrance with poise and skill. Producing dozens of rifles, she twirled across the surreal landscape, blowing away the horde of familiars that attacked her with pinpoint accuracy and flawless execution. "My body feels so light," she thought. "This is the first time I've felt so happy fighting. There's no longer any need to fear."
The familiars dispatched, she struck a dramatic pose and returned to Madoka, who looked up at her in glowing admiration. Taking Madoka's hand, they ran towards the final door of the witch's maze.
"Because I'm not alone."
The witch's innermost sanctum was a bizarre sight, with a floor made of fluffy white cream and enormous, sumptuous-looking desserts towering over the landscape. It would almost seem inviting, were one not to know the truth of what was inside.
Mami and Madoka spotted Sayaka and QB hiding behind a giant donut, and rushed to their side. "Sorry for the wait," called Mami. "You made it," Sayaka said, relieved. Mami didn't have a moment's rest, however, before QB piped in, directing her attention across the frosted expanse. "Be careful, it's coming."
In the center of the room, at one of the many towering tables dotting the landscape, the witch appeared. With an appearance as unimposing as her maze, she seemed like a stuffed animal, wrapped up in a red cloak too big for her and sporting a poofy polka-dot collar. Mami pieced together her name from the witch's runes floating about the room: "Charlotte". Charlotte fluttered down and sat at one of the chairs, as if a queen sitting at a throne, but seeming more like a doll put in place for a child's tea party.
Mami wasted no time upending the witch from her seat, snapping the legs at the base with her rifle. "Sorry to ruin your big entrance," she said as Charlotte tumbled towards the ground. Mami swung the butt of her rifle into Charlotte, knocking her across the room like a rag doll. Seeing her hit the wall, Mami then fired a barrage of bullets into her body. Charlotte fell to the ground, motionless. Mami approached, pressed the barrel of her rifle into the side of Charlotte's head, and pulled the trigger. Out of the hole sprang Mami's magical ribbons, raising the witch's body into the air for her final attack. Mami transformed her rifle into a giant cannon, and fired one last shot. "Tiro Finale!" As the final bullet left a gaping hole in Charlotte's body, she seemingly collapsed in on herself...and then changed completely.
Erupting from Charlotte's mouth came a gargantuan winged black serpent, spotted with polka-dots and wearing a cartoonish grin on its frilled face. In a split second, it raced across the room to look a bewildered Mami right in the eyes. Mami froze, and her moment of hesitation would be the end of her. The witch parted her jaws.
But at the last moment, a giant fork that had been sitting in the background earlier sailed across the battlefield and slammed into the witch's side. Impaled and carried by the weight of it, Charlotte was pinned to the wall, and jerked about in pain as she attempted to free herself.
Everyone was dumbfounded, and looked in the opposite direction to see the source. Standing there was a magical girl none of them had ever seen before, with wavy purple hair and a look on her face that seemed aloof, but with intensity in her eyes. Curiously, her body was encircled by long red cords, each connecting to a large eyeball hovering beside her shoulder. Her hand was outstretched towards the witch, as if she had literally thrown the fork.
"Who are you?" asked Mami. Just then, the room shook, and it seemed Charlotte would free herself. In response, the magical girl raised her hand to the air, and with it, one of the gigantic pineapples littered about was levitated off the ground. The girl swung her hand down, and the pineapple slammed onto the witch's head, dizzying her for a moment.
"My name is Satori," the girl finally spoke. "I'm here to help."
Mami slapped the sides of her head and composed herself, aiming her rifle at Charlotte. However, Satori stopped her. "Wait. There is much about witches you do not know." Satori started walking towards Charlotte, and took her third eye into her hands, pointing it at the writhing witch. "Let me show you the truth of what's in the witch's heart."
Although Satori had everyone's attention, Madoka couldn't help but notice how vexed QB seemed at this development...
You think this one has real potential, although it does necessitate stealing Madoka's thunder a bit. But that's okay, this story is just for you.
> Consider published fanfiction.
No. No no no no no no no. Nobody can ever find out you wrote these. Well, except Koishi. But only because she was doing it first. You and her used to exchange stories. Your sister's self-inserts were always clumsily written, but the fact that they were so campy made them fun to read.
A while ago, you asked her if she had written anything in the time since she had left the palace.
(http://i.imgur.com/ksywDVW.png)
Oh, well. Times change.
Now, you write these purely for yourself. It's pure self-indulgence, and a comforting escape. With all the exciting stories you read, you can't help but imagine what you would do if you were inside them. Your fanfiction is basically just your daydreams put on paper. You just want to imagine yourself caught up in a whirlwind of adventure, instead of idling your days away alone in the palace. Is that so wrong?
Well, you guess it is, since you can't let anybody find out. But whatever. It can just be your little secret.
Your published works are far more academic in nature, and largely on your matters of expertise, such as psychological analysis or caring for pets. You HAVE published a few short novels, but they haven't done well. Yuugi read one and it said it went over her head.
> Examine posters.
(http://i.imgur.com/xVQCBbg.png)
You love magical girls!! They use their powers to punish evil, heal broken hearts, and do it all while still living their day-to-day lives and caring for their family at home. Even better, they look beautiful while doing it. It's every ideal you wish you could live up to.
You like to read a lot of shoujo in general, actually; every once in a while you like to get liquored up and curl up with some trashy romance manga. You try not to do it too often though. That stuff is literary junk food, and you need to stay professional and well-read.
> _
[ sorry for the lack of updates, gonna try to get back on track and update again quickly ]
-
[23:42:43] <Drake> stuffman you glorious bastard
-
> Burn fanfiction, consider honor suicide.
-
>Disregard all Shims.
>Contemplate next work.
-
> Get caught up in a whirlwind of adventure.
-
>Contemplate the effects on Madoka canon if Mami found out the truth early. No worries, I'm sure we can find a way to fix this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuC7Eovu3P0)
>Koishi didn't write about riding dolphins at any point, did she?
-
Oh
dear gods
she writes SI Madoka fanfic
my sides
(also Satori. Satori. You're the ruler of the underground in Gensoukyou, you're involved with Incidents, those magical girls you envy envy you.)
-
>Edible: Stop chortling long enough to finish reading Satori's Madoka self-insert fanfic.
I failed.
>Satori: Seal the land of fanfiction and cover your tracks after leaving. You can never be too careful.
-
>Postulate on the idea of developing spellcards with ideas cribbed from mahou shoujou works.
-
That Fanfic was the best Self-Insert Fanfic ever.
>Satori: Continue reading Fanfic.
-
I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if literally dozens of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
-
Well, since you bumped the thread, sure, let's announce this here. (http://purplequest.tumblr.com/post/67000202492)
tl;dr no more purples
-
Oh well, that's a shame. I hope you'll come back and make a leaner version in the future, PQ was fun!
-
Aww. :<
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
-
Oh well, it was fun ride atleast.
Thank you, Stuffs, for some hilarious reads in this.
-
banned
-
:smokedcheese: