Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Sara's Audio-Visual Import-Overflow Retail => Topic started by: Rin Kagamine on August 14, 2016, 01:41:19 PM
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With the first week of preseason in the books, it's time to officially acknowledge that football is indeed back baby! Like last year I'll have a write-up of the Panthers posted before week 1, but I'm cautiously optimistic this year. We'll probably win the NFC South for the 4th straight year, but beyond that it's murky.
Pressing questions:
- Will Tom Brady lose his starting job to Jimmy Garoppolo, or will he lose it to Jacoby Brissett who will beat out Garoppolo in camp?
- Will Favre come back now that he's in the HOF to sling it one more time?
- Will the Browns finally be relegated to the CFL?
- Will the MVP finally be awarded to the most deserving recipient: The Troops?
- Will the AFCCG not be Patriots vs Steelers?
Fantasy Champs:
2012 - Kilga
2013 - Vic Viper
2014 - Kilga
2015 - PX
How's y'all's favorite teams looking?
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Is it the preseason already? ???
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Is it the preseason already? ???
Did you not taste the great taste that is Football Light? Preseason football means it's time for football-ish
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The Chargers got kicked out of LA so now they're crawling back to San Diego. Also they lost their best player. 6-10
The Rams have now moved back to LA and are back to being the hometown heroes. They got the most exciting draft pick last year and got a QB this year. Prepared for the 8-8 for the next 8 years and losing to the worst team and beating the best one every year.
The Raiders are possibly going to move here, which means more traffic around where I work because they're going to build the damn stadium across the freeway from the strip. Good young talent on the team and plenty of upside, and the rest of the division is still ass. Possible play off run for them.
Which one do I cheer for?!
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Which one do I cheer for?!
jags
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I thought the Raiders were moving to San Antonio? Or is Vegas going to suddenly have 2 pro teams?
Cheer for the team that plays in the Colosseum: USC Trojans duh
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I'll try to remember to renew the league when I get home tonight. Gotta keep my anti-Giants streak going!
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PX here are a few reasons that you should not pull for the Chargers anymore:
- They are Dumb and Bad because Dean Spanos is Dumb and Bad.
- They fired a head coach after going 14-2
- Drafted Eli Manning after he told them not to, then had to trade for Philip Rivers
- They then wasted Philip Rivers' career by never having the personnel to make that next step
- They hate San Diego and probably all of California, which is probably why the NFL told them to pound sand and are more open to freaking Al Davis Jr moving the Raiders yet again
- Can't beat the Broncos
- I did no research on this list
- Dean Spanos is Bad (also Dumb)
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I'm in as usual. If you're just renewing the league I think I should still be in it.
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Dean Spanos is Bad
I'll try to remember to renew the league when I get home tonight. Gotta keep my anti-Giants streak going!
QUIT SLACKING KILGO
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whoops rofl
League renewed! Looks like everyone from last year auto-joined, which is a nice feature.
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Things I love:
Things I don't love:
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When's a good day for the draft? We can do something like sunday evening on the 4th, or wednesday the 7th, or something?
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Would prefer a Tuesday or Wednesday evening/night
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I've put it as Tuesday, Sept 6th at 9 PM (Eastern) for the time being, but that's hardly set in stone. I would have trouble doing anything on Wednesday Sept 7th before 10 PM, though if everyone is okay with that then I'll set it for there.
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I've put it as Tuesday, Sept 6th at 9 PM (Eastern) for the time being, but that's hardly set in stone. I would have trouble doing anything on Wednesday Sept 7th before 10 PM, though if everyone is okay with that then I'll set it for there.
Can def do that Tuesday time. Can't wait to once again agonize over every single late round pick that I'll inevitably drop later!
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Sunday is a little better for me but I can do Tuesday with no issues.
Would ilke to make sure that everyone from last year is actually in for this year, too - I know it auto-renewed but we haven't heard from everyone yet
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I suspect TSO will need a replacement at the very least. Not sure who's available, though.
EDIT: Wait I'm dumb, TSO dropped before last year. WHATEVER
Here's the list of potential people, best as I can recall. Bold is confirmed, italic is people that weren't in the league last year.
Kilga
Edible
Vic
PX
DAya
yuyukos
Hina
Hainiryuun
FroMonk
Zirene
Soul Devour
TSO
Not returning:
Arashi (doesn't have access to her Yahoo account anymore?)
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In. Might need a new theme this year now that birds actually won
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In. Might need a new theme this year now that birds actually won
cats
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ya ya ya (I am Lorde).
That Tuesday time should be fine for me.
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Vic friend will be down to play this season.
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I may also invite a friend if we need an extra. He's wanted to try FF for a while but didn't want to play for cash.
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Foobaw
Let's say I was interested in this, but also don't know the first thing about it, what do I have to do, in terms of registering and in terms of week to week?
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I can actually play this year if you still got room
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I can actually play this year if you still got room
We should, particularly if Edible can provide a balancing friend should we need one. Gimme your e-mail addie so I can send an invite.
Let's say I was interested in this, but also don't know the first thing about it, what do I have to do, in terms of registering and in terms of week to week?
In order to register, you need a Yahoo e-mail account that I can send an invite to. The instructions in the invite should be helpful enough on their own that you can get in.
For the actual draft process, if you're doing this for the first time and aren't really too terribly caught up on all the players in the league, you're generally pretty safe following Yahoo's rankings while considering positions you need versus positions you don't (and also possibly considering bye weeks, depending on who you listen to). Thankfully football is leagues less complicated than baseball and all players contributes toward the same general set of points so you don't need to worry too much about different skill sets.
For week-to-week purposes, you can usually get away with popping in and checking on the status of your players once a day for not even five minutes, though you'll always want to make sure to do another status check shortly before each set of games in a given week (Thursday night game, Sunday early afternoon games, Sunday later afternoon games, Sunday night game, Monday night game, plus some other occasional special time slots) to make sure players aren't suddenly injured and need to be subbed out for someone else. You might also want to keep an ear to the ground regarding players trending up, down, or toward injury - there are plenty of sites out there that can help with this (including Yahoo, obviously).
Alternatively, you can draft no one but players from bird teams like PX did four years running. It actually won him the title last year, so who are the rest of us to criticize?
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Also, yo, rosters were so absurdly large last year that there were no viable backups after the first few weeks. Plz nerf
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If there are 12 people I'll trim a few spots per what we usually do.
EDIT: Going from 10 teams to 12 means dropping a QB spot, a WR spot, the W/R spot, and a bench spot. Sound good?
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Seems fine
Also pm'd my email for the invite.
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It's still baffling how I won last year with a roster so shallow. Thanks Devonta Freemon and CJ2K
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Meanwhile: Chargers still haven't signed bosa
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You'd think that the Chargers would have learned their lesson after the first, second, or hell, even third time, that trying to penny-pinch on rookie contracts is not a good thing
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http://deadspin.com/the-chargers-contract-impasse-with-joey-bosa-just-got-u-1785704625
lel
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http://deadspin.com/the-chargers-contract-impasse-with-joey-bosa-just-got-u-1785704625
lel
Are the Chargers actually worse than the Browns now?
Post-season predictions:
AFC:
Champs
- Patriots
- Steelers
- Colts
- Chiefs
Wild Card
NFC:
Champs
- Panthers
- Packers
- Cardinals
- Cowboys
Wild Card
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My unpopular opinions: The Browns will go at least .500 this year. The Cardinals will miss the playoffs.
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My unpopular opinions: The Browns will go at least .500 this year. The Cardinals will miss the playoffs.
No
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http://deadspin.com/report-everyone-laughing-at-chargers-1785809628
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Romo injured, again, with a broken back (this time out 6-10 weeks). In other news, water is wet.
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Romo injured, again, with a broken back (this time out 6-10 weeks). In other news, water is wet.
DAK PRESCOTT ERA BEGINS NOW!!!
http://deadspin.com/report-everyone-laughing-at-chargers-1785809628
Eventually Philip Rivers will have enough kids to start his own team.
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Real talk, Romo should retire. Dude's probably gonna be in pain for the rest of his life at this rate
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https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/770081636566401029
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https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/770081636566401029
Jags don't deserve Bort
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Jags don't deserve Bort
Does anyone?
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Kilga, can you send an invite to fromonk on yahoo?
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Is that the appropriate e-mail address?
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Is that the appropriate e-mail address?
Yep, that's me. Hi guys. :)
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Yep, that's me. Hi guys. :)
wat 2hu wud u fuk???
Panthers analysis tomorrow
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Should I say anything about the Chargers?
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Should I say anything about the Chargers?
"lol"
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RIP Vikings season. Looks like Teddy has a season ending knee injury
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wat 2hu wud u fuk???
Panthers analysis tomorrow
U wot m8, ill fite u sware on me mum
Here's your Panthers analysis:
Going all the way! ...Right after the Broncos whip us up and down the field again. D:
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The Broncos are missing like half their team from last year, I think you'll be okay on that specific front
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Panthers first three opponents:
Trevor Siemian
Blaine Gabbert
Shaun Hill
:smug:
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I return for football season! in other news, can we please cut some roster spots even if its only 10 people? looking through 3rd string RBs after my first injury wasn't much fun. and then it got worse.
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in other news, can we please cut some roster spots even if its only 10 people? looking through 3rd string RBs after my first injury wasn't much fun. and then it got worse.
Second
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The Broncos are missing like half their team from last year, I think you'll be okay on that specific front
Maybe. Von still scares me.
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Invite's been sent. We'll need either a 12th person or a dropout now.
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Invite's been sent. We'll need either a 12th person or a dropout now.
Purvis!?!?!?!?
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He hasn't gotten back to me on foobaw-related things recently, though that may be because I can't get back on IRC on my laptop.
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Welcome to an introduction to the 2016 Carolina Panthers! Last year we went 15-1 and led the league in scoring! We also ran the Cardinals out of the stadium in the NFC title game! Then we lost the Super Bowl to Von Miller, who is a scary monster man, as well as 21 other men! This fucking team.
HEAD COACH: Riverboat Ron Rivera! He's back yet again and he's still not taking any risks that could even conceivably be seen as gambles! He used to be a pretty good DC and as a defensive minded HC he's doing pretty well (if you disregard that the Panthers have one of the best front 7s in the entire league because that just shows good coaching!). I would love to hate him as much as I have in previous years but after last year he did pretty damn well given that we had nothing but old retreads and Funchess trying to catch the ball. However, the real reason I'm not calling to "Fire Ron Rivera" for the 4th consecutive year is because there's no one better available. I hate him and this team so much.
QUARTERBACK: Cameron "Cam" "Thug" "Dabbing Fiend" Newton! He wears the number 1 and HOW DARE HE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HIS EGO!!! ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE!!! STOP CELEBRATING!!! MY DAUGHTER WOULD RATHER WATCH THE CHEERLEADERS THAN YOUR DISGUSTING DANCES!!! WHAT A THUG!!!
Cam Newton is the best QB in the league and I love him so much. Never stop dancing or having fun Cam. Fuck the haters and win another damn MVP! Sucks if your QB isn't Cam Newton.
GENERAL MANAGER: Still Dave Gettleman! Why no Josh Norman, we're not worried about our secondary after you leave, we've got this handled! *drafts 3 CBs, none in the first round* What did we get in the first round? Why it's another goddamn DT! Because our depth at DT is surely suspect after Kawann Short and Star Lotulelei and Kyle Love! Clearly that takes precedence over replacing our All Pro CB who walked away in Free Agency in exchange for nothing! Meanwhile we're still starting Titans cast-off Michael Oher and Mike "Turnstile" Remmers at OT, a position that Gettleman has never addressed in the draft and seems utterly allergic to giving proper attention. Next years first round pick will be yet another redundant selection for a position we are already overflowing with talent at. Hey Gettleman, PROTIP: there's a reason BPA is being phased out worldwide, maybe you should pay attention!?
Still though, gotta hand it to Gettleman for grabbing Jeremy Cash out of Duke as a UDFA this year. He was an All-American last year and the ACC Defensive Player of the year as a Safety! Talk about a steal! Our secondary could definitely use the help he will surely prov- (http://www.panthers.com/news/article-2/Cash-begins-NFL-journey-at-linebacker/dea922fc-8c39-40a8-b826-1e1d03220512) WHAT!? YOU'RE MOVING HIM TO LINEBACKER!? THE DEEPEST AND BEST POSITION ON OUR ROSTER AND YOU'RE TRYING TO CONVERT A SAFETY!?!? AJ KLEIN CAN START ANYWHERE IN THE LEAGUE AND HE'S OUR SECOND STRING AND YOU THINK WE NEED MORE HELP!?!?!? FUCK YOU!!!
OFFENSIVE LINE: Kalil in the best Center in the league and Trai Turner is a stud, everyone else is trash trash trash and the Broncos made them look like fools. Lucky that Newton is so mobile, comes in handy when the line provides all the protection of a dryer sheet.
RUNNING BACK: J-Stew is back and Cameron Artis-Payne might actually be coming along nicely, together with Fozzy Whittaker. Mike Tolbert is a bowling ball and pretty good at picking up first downs. Too bad the RB position in the NFL is DEAD!!! *airhorns*
WIDE RECEIVER: Kelvin Benjamin is BACK BABY! (please don't die) Funchess can finally settle into a nice stable of WR along with Philly Brown and Ted Ginn Jr and oh god I just got excited about Philly Brown and Ted Ginn Jr catching the ball. Ugh.
As a UDFA we did add Keyarris Garrett for some nice depth after he led the ACC for the Hurricanes in receiving yards. Hang on, I've been told that he actually led the AAC for the Golden Hurricanes. Oh.
FUN FACT: Tulsa is known as the "Receiver Factory" for its storied history of producing top notch NFL receivers!
FUNNER FACT: That's a lie!
TIGHT END GREG OLSEN: GREG OLSEN!
KICKER: Graham Gano! He's still pretty good.
PUNTER: There was an honest to god punter battle at training camp this year that seemingly ended when the Panthers traded with the Browns for Andy Lee. I can't.
FRONT SEVEN: Probably the best in the league! Luke Kuechly is a total beast and is in the DPOY discussion every year. Thomas Davis has been with the team since 2005 but is still playing at a high level. Shaq Thompson, much maligned (by me) first round pick last year, has grown into the essential third piece in our 4-3. AJ Klein can play mid and outside as our lead second string LB and I'm glad he's still around. Kawann Short made the Pro Bowl last year in his third season and is blossoming into a perennial All-Pro. Kony Ealy is shaping up to be a worthy successor to Charles Johnson, who took a BIG pay cut to remain with the Panthers as their starting DE. Star Lotulelei has shown that he can play, and play well. I like all of these guys and think they're the biggest reason the Panthers D is so respected.
SECONDARY: Oh boy. Tillman retired and Norman took his ball and went home and Benwikere is coming off an injury and is currently behind a rookie 2nd and 3rd round draft pick on the depth chart and our starting safeties are Tre Boston and Kurt Coleman who I couldn't tell you anything about if I tried because they are so forgettable and Roman Harper who is a million years old went back to New Orleans and they're converting Jeremy Cash to a LB which means packing weight on him and everything about this unit is terrible and I just pray we beat the snot out of Norman and the Washington Racists in December. Fuck.
IN CONCLUSION: 12-4 with losses to the Cards, Chiefs, Seahawks, and an inexplicable Thursday night loss to the Saints, win the division and lose the NFC title game to Arizona.
KEEP POUNDING!!!
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If you need #12, I'll do it! But if there is another #12, they would be better.
So, how do I sign up again? Do I need an explicitly yahoo email, or just an account with them?
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You need a Yahoo e-mail, yeah.
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So who wants to lend me their mobile so I can get one? Because apparently they won't let me do it without one.
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I thought we were still waiting for confirmation from a number of people, but I could be wrong? :V
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I think you should be able to skip the mobile step? Yahoo constantly asks me to attach a mobile device to my account but I always tell it to skip that.
EDIT:
Also it would be appreciated if FroMonk could confirm.
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Whoops. Thought I missed something. Confirmed.
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I don't remember what my yahoo email is. whoops.
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dumbasatri
EDIT: Also apparently a few of the league e-mails are not Yahoo e-mails, so I guess you don't need a Yahoo e-mail to sign up? Well then.
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Roster spots are getting trimmed right? Please
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I just culled the W/R spot because that's probably the most expendable. I'll cull some more if we get a confirmed 12. (We still have only 9 so far because Soul and Zirene haven't actually said anything since league renewal.)
Fake Edit: Well maybe not Soul, he hasn't been on the forums in over a week and hasn't been on IRC in literally half a year. :V We might end up needing to cut back down to 10 by booting him. Sorry Purvis.
EDIT: Got confirmation from an outside source that Soul's out this year. Guess we're going with 10 again.
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I'd rather take out WR than a W/R :V
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QB/QB WR/WR/WR RB/RB TE W/R W/R/T K DST ?
We can play with a slightly smaller bench too, to facilitate roster movement.
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Remove a bench slot and a WR slot. I really don't think we need 2 qbs either but hey.
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Put the W/R slot back in, took out a WR slot (first time in league history there have only been three WR slots), took out a bench slot.
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https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/772079613216485376
I'm so sorry, Vikings fans.
EDIT: LOL WHAT (http://deadspin.com/vikings-trade-first-round-pick-for-sam-bradford-1786142141)
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https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/772079613216485376
I'm so sorry, Vikings fans.
EDIT: LOL WHAT (http://deadspin.com/vikings-trade-first-round-pick-for-sam-bradford-1786142141)
Sam "Albatross" Bradford
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https://twitter.com/AlbertBreer/status/772092529403506688
It gets better!
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https://twitter.com/AlbertBreer/status/772092529403506688
It gets better!
SB or bust, emphasis on bust
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What the actual fuck is Vikings brass thinking?
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They're too distracted by the fun they're currently having on a party boat.
This year's WYTS on the Vikings is going to be glorious, assuming Magary hasn't just outright killed himself.
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They're too distracted by the fun they're currently having on a party boat.
This year's WYTS on the Vikings is going to be glorious, assuming Magary hasn't just outright killed himself.
He should do a second one on the Vikings
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Oh whoops you're right. Oh well.
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Good thing we have twitter:
https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/772086972278009857?s=09
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Good thing we have twitter:
https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/772086972278009857?s=09
A comment in there had a good point - if the Vikings were giving up two firsts for Bradford of all people, they must think Bridgewater's knee is unsalvageable.
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You'd have thought that the Vikings would have learned their lesson after Herschel Walker. That being said, as a Packers fan, seeing this trade pleases me.
Also, there is a rumor swirling around that part of the reason they made the trade is that "With the opening of a new stadium, they didn't want the fans depressed about the QB situation."
But damn, the Eagles probably would have parted with Bradford for just the 4th, let alone the 1st and 4th (or 2nd or 3rd) that they gave up, lol
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Actually, does anyone have access to one more person? That way we can get Purvis involved.
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One day 'til the draft. Hold on to your butts.
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There won't be a draft unless we get a 12th. Any volunteers?
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There won't be a draft unless we get a 12th. Any volunteers?
Won't be a draft? You're going to cancel the season?
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I think we should exhaust all possibilities for a #12 before considering alternatives, at least.
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I don't know anyone that would be interested, sadly. Pretty much everyone I know wrt fantasy football is either only playing it for money or is "lol what is football?" with nothing in between.
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Also, if we make it to 12 participants please drop a QB slot.
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Also, if we make it to 12 participants please drop a QB slot.
Yeah, I think he plans to drop a QB and the W/R slot if we get to 12
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Yeah, I think he plans to drop a QB and the W/R slot if we get to 12
He already dropped a WR instead and a bench slot.
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assuming taohl@yahoo.com is my email address, its frozen for 12 hours for security reasons. /shrug
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I believe I have another recruit. Details pending.
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Drew Magary has posted the Panthers version of Why Your Team Sucks (http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-carolina-panthers-1786066162) and it made me realize that I am not nearly angry nor frantic enough considering football starts in two days. We are going to get embarrassed yet again, fuck fuck fuck
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Drew Magary has posted the Panthers version of Why Your Team Sucks (http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2016-carolina-panthers-1786066162) and it made me realize that I am not nearly angry nor frantic enough considering football starts in two days. We are going to get embarrassed yet again, fuck fuck fuck
T'was the night before week 1
When all through the league
Denver's malicious defense
Gave QBs fatigue
The football was placed
by the O-line with care
In hopes that their pass rush
Would soon not be there
Cam Newton was hiding
Right under his truck
With visions of Von Miller
Running amok
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Aikman with the fire emojis on the Skip Bayless hire by Fox:
"To say I'm disappointed in the hiring of Skip Bayless would be an enormous understatement," Aikman said last week, according to Richard Deitsch of Sports Illustrated.
"Clearly (FOX Sports president of national networks) Jamie Horowitz and I have a difference of opinion when it comes to building a successful organization. I believe success is achieved by acquiring and developing talented, respected, and credible individuals, none of which applies to Skip Bayless."
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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Kilga what's the email you have for kagiyamahina? He might still be locked out
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dumbasatri at yahoo period com
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Hour and a half to go... we still drafting tonight?
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Yeah, we have a 12th it's just taking a bit to get their account situation set up. We can set a team to autodraft if needed.
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And we are 12!
Everyone say hi to Paul, he... I don't think he has an account here, oh well.
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Cool can we shrink roster spots before the draft kthxbye
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We still doing 2 QBs?
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we're nuking this draft and redoing it 90 minutes after this one ends
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ABANDON SHIP DO NOT JOIN THE DRAFT
I'll edit the rosters and remake ASAP
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I let my homies know, they're down to stay up.
EDIT:
irc.ppirc.net #motktown for discussion if you have any questions, or just ask in here
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so we're drafting at 10:30?
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I'm in.
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I let my homies know, they're down to stay up.
EDIT:
irc.ppirc.net #motktown for discussion if you have any questions, or just ask in here
it's tyool two thousand and sixteen and we aren't on a discord server?
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it's tyool two thousand and sixteen and we aren't on a discord server?
This, lol.
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I'm in 25 discord servers plz no
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I'm in 25 discord servers plz no
that sounds like a you problem
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NEW DRAFT TIME IS WEDNESDAY SEPT 7 10 PM EASTERN
Settings are now correct and we should be good to go.
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:getdown:
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One daytwo point five hours 'til the draft. Hold on to your butts.
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Draft room is open!
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ZIREEEEEEENE ;_;
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I joined a public league on Tuesday after our draft got pushed back and set it on auto draft but forgot about it until today. Who'd I wind up with? Gio Bernard. Again.
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I joined a public league on Tuesday after our draft got pushed back and set it on auto draft but forgot about it until today. Who'd I wind up with? Gio Bernard. Again.
So you're going to start eating bad chili and yelling "who dey" at the TV every weekend now?
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So you're going to start eating bad chili and yelling "who dey" at the TV every weekend now?
Nah, I just like him and can pull without guilt now that he's off the Tarheels. He seems to find his way onto all my teams.
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Yahoo still hasn't produced projections for my kicker :(
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ART THOU READY FOR THINE FOOTBALL
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Gotta find my jersey. I think it's in a storage tub or something.
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Wore my Crosby jersey and cheesehead into work today. I am so ready for some National League Football to be gracing my television, yet again
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Completely relevant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_qxn_8sybw) (for Edible)
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HAHA PANTHERS A SHIT
Completely relevant (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_qxn_8sybw) (for Edible)
rofl
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Icing the Kicker should be punishable by loss of draft pick. Fuck that weak shit.
If the NFL actually gave a shit about player safety (they don't, at all) hits to the head would actually be noticed! Not penalized, just fucking noticed during the game! Additionally they should be penalized more harshly than "unnecessary roughness". Cam gets hit 4 times with blatant headshots and fucking nothing!?
Grounding and that pathetically weak roughness call offsetting is complete and utter horseshit and is proof positive that the league doesn't care about its players.
Fuck Chris Harris and Fuck Von Miller. Steratore deserves to be burned at the fucking stake for being such a mealy-mouthed company man without the ability to go against a "hostile" home crowd.
Derek Anderson is probably gonna start against the Niners because Cam is broken and we're gonna lose to BLAINE FUCKING GABBERT!!!
Football is the worst sport in the entire goddamn world.
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Fuck: Peyton, Elway, Harris, Anderson, Ware, Miller, Michaels, Collinsworth, Steratore, Sanders, Onions, Rivera, Shula, McDermott, Brown, Funchess, Benjamin, Tolbert, Stewart, Webb, Anderson, Newton, Denver, Broncos, Horses in general, Football.
GRAHAM MISSED THE KICK!
EDIT: FUCK AQIB TALIB TOO! DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER GOT OVERSHADOWED TONIGHT BY THE WORST HEADHUNTING SINCE BOUNTYGATE BUT YOU'RE STILL A MOTHERFUCKER!!!
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I'm so glad football is back
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FUTBOL
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Boy I can't wait to get my team's shit pushed in by the packers in week 1
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Finally, it's time for 7 hours of commercial free football!
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More like football-free commercials ;_;
Also, prepare your headache medicine of choice for the return of endless draftkings/fanduel ads.
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More like football-free commercials ;_;
Also, prepare your headache medicine of choice for the return of endless draftkings/fanduel ads.
That just means that you're doing it wrong =p
I've got Fox for the Packers game on the TV (http://i.imgur.com/sGPDBg9.jpg) and RedZone streaming on the PC (http://i.imgur.com/Q5cFf3e.jpg)
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More like football-free commercials ;_;
Also, prepare your headache medicine of choice for the return of endless draftkings/fanduel ads.
They best part is those sites are illegal here
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Damn. Keenan Allen already done for the year with a torn ACL.
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So you're going to start eating bad chili and yelling "who dey" at the TV every weekend now?
So you're going to start eating bad chili
start eating bad chili
bad chili
Oh look we have a confederate apologist in league!
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Oh look we have a confederate apologist in league!
Hey man, I'm not saying we should own people. I'm just saying Robert E Lee is misunderstood. Also, Sherman was an asshole.
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RG3 on IR.
Browns.
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RG3 on IR.
Browns.
Browns.
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Browns.
(https://s3media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/360/450/3450360.jpg)
smdh.
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Have I won the league yet?
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Have I won the league yet?
GOTTA GET THROUGH ME FIRST
ps if the Jags don't beat the Chargers, gus bradley should be fired the same day
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I have no idea how the Chargers are actually favored over Jax
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I have no idea how the Chargers are actually favored over Jax
Home field advantage usually grants 3 points, and we traditionally play like hot fucking garbage on the west coast.
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(http://i.imgur.com/2Zznmq9.png)
SubterraneanDrifters to the Hail Renko (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reply_of_the_Zaporozhian_Cossacks).
O Kilga, Foobaw devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are you, that can't slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we've no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.
You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!
So the Purvis declares, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!
-
Counterpoint: My star RB beats his kids.
...
:(
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Rex Ryan is gonna get fired this year
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Rex Ryan is gonna get fired this year
Rex Ryan should have been fired last night.
They apparently forced him to fire someone to appease the fans, and he fired the most competent playcalling coach on his team.
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Oh right, I meant to do this a couple days ago before the jets/bills game but oh well.
PROBABLY EXTREMELY SHORT-LIVED MOTK SURVIVAL POOL 2016 EDITION GO
I'm taking the Jaguars over the Chargers because I need more reasons to drink myself into a coma if they actually lose.
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Rams > Seahawks you all suck
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Panthers over 49ers LET'S GO! I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL!
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since we're going into the weekend...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKynaEhWUHU
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Let's live dangerously!
Detroit
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Less than a minute into the game and I'm already mad
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Jimmy "Tom Brady" Garoppolo
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Holy shit I hate football
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Jacoby "Jimmy "Tom Brady" Garoppolo" Brissett
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I'm taking the Jaguars over the Chargers because I need more reasons to drink myself into a coma if they actually lose.
Actual super real talk: if Gus Bradley isn't fired by tomorrow evening I am officially no longer a fan of this team.
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It's awesome we now have a Rams station on the radio lol
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I see that LA beat Seattle in what looks like a terrible game. I didn't hear anything about it like "omg seattle lost" so it must have been utterly putrid.
Keep damn pounding
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Jacoby "Jimmy "Tom Brady" Garoppolo" Brissett
With news that Brissett is starting the Thursday game that will make 3 starting QBs in week 3 from NC State University along with Russell Wilson (he only spent one year at Wisconsin and didn't graduate, don't believe the lies) and Philip Rivers, and we still have Mike Glennon as the backup to Winston in Tampa. I wonder what the record is for active or starting QBs in the league from one school.
Actual super real talk: if Gus Bradley isn't fired by tomorrow evening I am officially no longer a fan of this team.
They're gonna keep him around to lead the team once they move them to London to play as the Monarchs.
It's awesome we now have a Rams station on the radio lol
Wonder if that will change to a Raiders station next year.
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Nah if anything our local station would become the raiders station so we would get the Chargers, Raiders, and the Rams on the radio
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And another week where I beat everyone and double my opponent wtf
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(http://i.imgur.com/OHPIWo6.png)
(http://i.imgur.com/lYUSNt6.gif)
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My suffering is infinite.
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My suffering is infinite.
Since Bradley is still the coach it appears that ;you are in the market for a new team. I have prepared a few suggestions:
- If you would like to stick with teams from the 1995 NFL Expansion then I suggest the Carolina Panthers
- If you would like to continue to root for a team named after a big cat, then instead of Detroit of Cincinnati I would like to suggest the Carolina Panthers
- If you would like to root for a team that is regionally close to your that doesn't have a racist team name then I suggest the Carolina Panthers
- If you're tired of mediocrity and want to pull for a team that has had recent success and is still successful then I suggest the Carolina Panthers
The choice appears to be clear!
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I'm a browns fan now. They still suck but at least they don't ever get your hopes up
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I'm a browns fan now. They still suck but at least they don't ever get your hopes up
Didn't know the Factory of Sadness was hiring
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I'm a browns fan now. They still suck but at least they don't ever get your hopes up
I mean you could get that right there in DC. Why you think I quit supporting the Skins? I could only take that shitty team's "we'll do better next season, I promise" so many times. The last few seasons were just exercises in masochism.
Okay, maybe the last 25 seasons.
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Didn't know the Factory of Sadness was hiring
Truly it is an endless pit of despair and misery
I mean you could get that right there in DC. Why you think I quit supporting the Skins? I could only take that shitty team's "we'll do better next season, I promise" so many times. The last few seasons were just exercises in masochism.
Okay, maybe the last 25 seasons.
I think I'd just stop watching football before I supported the Redskins in any meaningful capacity
Alas. With any luck, Bradley will get shitcanned during the bye week so I won't have to be a Cleveland fan for long
Edit - Here's a good statistic:
20 of Bortles' 89 passes haven't crossed line of scrimmage and 40 (44.9 percent) haven't gone past 5 yards downfield.
Outstanding playcalling fam.
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Less Big Ben and more Alex Smith
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Woodhead on IR already, welp
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That sure must suck to have a quality RB suffer a season-ending injury in Week 2, huh?
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Jacoby "Steve Grogan" Brissett
-
To be fair, his only goals for tonight were 1) don't get hurt and 2) don't lose, so he could be doing a lot worse.
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Well, at least every other team in the AFC South is fucking godawful.
So business as usual.
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https://twitter.com/bykevinclark/status/779142682211786752
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To be fair, his only goals for tonight were 1) don't get hurt and 2) don't lose, so he could be doing a lot worse.
lol my mistake he actually got hurt and might be out with a thumb injury
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https://twitter.com/bykevinclark/status/779142682211786752
I have no context for this, but I agree with punishing the South any way we can.
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I have no context for this, but I agree with punishing the South any way we can.
rude ;_;
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Rude, but correct.
Also I got a badge for my defense getting a touchdown! I'm not gonna lie, I love getting random-ass badges in this.
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Gano just slammed a kick into the uprights and you could hear it echo around the stadium
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tfw your fantasy defense is beating up on your irl team :<
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The Broncos game made me mad as hell, this Vikings game is just disappointing. How does a team lose all their starters and then play better?
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How does a team lose all their starters and then play better?
Purple Jesus emerged after 3 days on IR to send his team to heaven
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Oh right, fuck the jags
-
I was nervous looking at today's score before I realized I had one more player left.
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Oh hey, like half my team got deadbooked over the last week. Whupsie!
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Well, Kilga, here we are. Week 4.
It's time. You and me. Football vs football. There can be only one victor, unless we tie which would be ridiculous. Bubuu Desuwas is merely above average, but can Hail Renko's dumpster fire of endless bad luck return to prior year forms?
ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
On the plus side, blanking the Texans with a third-string QB will never not be hilarious.
Oh hey, like half my team got deadbooked over the last week. Whupsie!
Time to hit up that waiver wire!
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I think the new low I have hit demonstrated itself quite clearly in my acquisitions this morning. You have nothing to worry about.
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I think the new low I have hit demonstrated itself quite clearly in my acquisitions this morning. You have nothing to worry about.
It'll be fun to somehow watch you make the playoffs anyway.
IN OTHER NEWS
http://sportsday.dallasnews.com/dallas-cowboys/cowboys/2016/09/28/sources-dez-bryant-missed-team-meetings-mri-tuesday-fined
What the fuck, Dez? <_<
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Welp, I'll be throwing this week away, I guess, lol. Tannehill didn't do shit, Dez is out, Decker is out, and Jordy is on a bye. I have 1 WR left on my roster that will even play (who is questionable, to boot). Both my TE's are questionable, and two of my running backs are the only healthy players on my entire roster, lulz. And this is after having to hit the waiver wire for injuries, already, so this does not bode well.
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Well, this was a day of football.
-
A day and a half of football.
What the hell, Pats?
-
A day and a half of football.
What the hell, Pats?
What'd they do?
I was at AWA so I missed most of the game but they had it on in the lobby because Falcons so I caught the last 10 minutes and everything is terrible and Dave Gettleman is the absolute worst.
-
Also, here's a message to the new GM that will hopefully not be Gettleman:
DRAFT
A
FUCKING
OFFENSIVE
TACKLE
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What'd they do?
Laid an egg against the Bills at home. It was almost as embarrassing as what they did to the Texans the week prior.
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Laid an egg against the Bills at home. It was almost as embarrassing as what they did to the Texans the week prior.
Well yeah, but that was on Sunday so I thought they may have done something else to make it an extra half day
-
Some levels of shame take extra days to wash off.
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So rather than just wasting breath screaming about how much I hate the Falcons (which is a lot) and how angry that game made me (very much so) I wanna talk about what is making the team so bad right now.
First off, Derek Anderson deserves some credit for dragging the team kicking and screaming back into the game. Call it "garbage time" if you want but he led the team on 2 TD drives and had a very real chance of pushing the game to OT until he threw that pick-six. He's a great backup and with Newton concussed (more on that later) he may be starting against the Bucs on Monday night. Fun fact: DA has 2 regular season starts for the Panthers and both were wins against the Bucs.
Now the bad: everything about this team this year is terrible except for Greg Olsen and Luke Kuechly. Starting with the offense, something is horribly wrong with the receiving corps. Ted Ginn Jr is still our second WR ahead of Funchess because despite Ginn's tenancy to drop the ball, at least he can sometimes catch the ball unlike Funchess. Corey/Philly Brown has questionable hands but probably catches passes better than Ginn. However, he is CONSTANTLY overthrown by Newton for reasons I cannot understand. After all, Ginn isn't as tall as Benjamin so we can rule out Brown being the only receiver under 6'4" as the reason. Kelvin Benjamin was held catchless against the Vikings (OBJ was almost completely shut down by the Vikings as well but he's having a pretty crappy season so it's not all the Vikings secondary being invincible) and wasn't that great against the Falcons middling defense. With that said, the Falcons were unable to stop Benjamin when he ran slants and I can't understand WHY they wouldn't keep running that play until the Falcons finally stopped it! Oh right, because Mike Shula is a horrific OC and he needs to be first against the wall if we hit the bye at 1-5.
The offensive line is abysmal. Ryan Kalil can't do everything himself and Trai Turner plays RG so he can't help protect Cam's blindside. Speaking of, Oher is bad but with him out we have no one who can play LT with any respectability. Remmers is already a pretty unremarkable RT but at LT he was dreadful. Daryl Williams stepped up to start at RT but didn't play any better than Remmers did. As a result, we get to watch Cam run for his life on every single play and since he always tries to make a play rather than protect himself he winds up getting drilled constantly. Sure he's a big guy but he's broken his back before, got hurt SOMEWHERE by the Broncos and looks to still be playing through that, and now he's concussed. He may not even start for a few games and Anderson is way less mobile. Pray that DA doesn't get murdered.
Mike Shula just outright sucks. As an OC he refuses to deviate from run/short/deep/punt in every series. You could set your clock by it and every other team knows that. We're running the ball well on the Broncos? Time to throw deep to Ted Ginn! Mismatch with KB and some 5'10" chump at CB? Let's give the ball to Fozzy Whittaker or CAP, whoever's worse that day! Funchess keeps dropping the ball? GIVE HIM MORE TARGETS!!! And yet, for as much as he loves to run, he abhors giving Cam any designed run plays short (ha) of "The Belichick Special" QB sneak for 1 yard. Belichick runs it with Tom Brady from the 1 with something crazy like 90% effectiveness; Shula gives it to Tolbert at the goal line and Cam in the open field with middling success. When using Tolbert for First Downs and Cam for TDs there's a much higher success rate, but no. Let's not do that!
On to defense: Kuechly is a beast and deserved DPOY more than Watt last year and should win it this year. He leads the defense like Ray Lewis and can do absolutely anything on D but he CANNOT do EVERYTHING! But there's not much help for him this year! Thomas Davis is old and probably in his last season. He's playing fine, I have no complaints, but he's not playing very well and it's clear age has caught up to him. Shaq Thompson is fine I guess? He's a good compliment to Kuechly but hasn't done enough to really set himself apart from the rest of the D; it's still Kuechly and Davis, not Kuechly, Davis, and Thompson. Speaking of linebackers, Jeremy Cash has yet to see the field as a converted safety and once again WHY THE FUCK WAS HE CONVERTED!? OUR SECONDARY IS OUR WORST LIABILITY AND TRE BOSTON IS HORRIFIC AND YET YOU THOUGHT WE NEEDED TO TAKE THE ACC DPOY AND MOVE HIM FROM SAFETY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) TO FUCKING LINEBACKER (???????????????????????????????) ANOTHER FUCKING LINEBACKER?????????? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????? WE ARE GETTING BURNED BY EVERY SINGLE COMPETENT RECEIVER IN THE GODDAMN LEAGUE BUT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE CASH SIT ON THE FUCKING BENCH AS THE THIRD FUCKING STRING LB BEHIND EVEN MAYO BECAUSE WE NEEDED ANOTHER MFGD LB???? HOW DARE YOU! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU SINK OUR ONCE STELLAR DEFENSE BY DEPRIVING THEM OF DESPERATELY NEEDED POSITIONS IN FAVOR OF YOUR FUCKING VANITY PROJECT THAT ISN'T EVEN FUCKING WORKING????????????????????????????????????
Secondary: trash. Our safeties are bad and our CBs are bad. Gettleman is so anxious to keep us out of Hurney (salary cap) Hell that he spent 3 of our 5 picks this year on CBs and none of them are ready for the NFL despite starting 2 of them. They will be ruined forever if this continues. He then complimented this ragtag group by letting both Norman and Harper walk and signing No One to replace them. I can't believe that Kurt Coleman is such a superior option at SS over Donte Whitner. James Bradberry is VERY not ready and James Worley is somehow even less ready. Bene Benwikere is coming off an injury and is our best CB but just gave up gobs of yards to Julio Jones. (btw, Norman gave up 178/1 to Jones last year and shutting down OBJ isn't that impressive this year, so until he actually does something noteworthy up in Washington he doesn't need to run his mouth.) There is nothing to inspire confidence in this group.
Defensive Line: Charles Johnson is getting old. Star Lotulelei is playing decently I suppose but he's not really making an impact like he did yesterday. Vernon Butler was playing pretty good but now he's hurt, so now KK Short is getting all the spotlight at DT, except I can't tell if he's taking plays off or getting doubled on the line or what, but he's a shadow of himself from last year. Kony "2012" Ealy is also not living up to his play from last year. The biggest issue is that we're now forcing these guys to blitz on basically every play because our secondary is useless at defending the pass and yet we can't afford to send a corner or safety to blitz. So of course the blitz doesn't work and now we're weaker against the run and still bad against the pass. We can still defend the run, but not as well as last year with almost the exact same personnel.
Punter: Andy Lee is the best addition to this team. That's sad that an old punter is the best new addition.
Dave Gettleman: I don't even want to talk about him because I hate him so much. He refuses to trade up for positions we need and refuses even more to sign free agents to positions we need which is how we ended up with Oher and Remmers as our starting long term OTs. I just can't. We could have easily traded up in 2015 instead of taking Thompson/Funchess/Williams (who sucks) and grabbed Flowers or Peat or whoever. Hell, maybe don't draft Thompson at all in the first round and make a similar reach for Donovan Smith? He's trying to get Cam killed in the exact same way that Luck is currently being killed in Indy: without any OL protection.
With that said, Falcons started off hot last year and then proceeded to burn to the ground so I'm not anointing them the champs yet. Panthers are still better than the Saints and Bucs so if we knock them off and go into the bye 3-3 then I think 10-6 and NFCS champs is still within reach.
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Holy shit shut up Vic
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Punter: Andy Lee is the best addition to this team. That's sad that an old punter is the best new addition.
It's funny you mention this, because we signed Nortman this offseason and he's been incredible
Holy shit shut up Vic
no u
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It's funny you mention this, because we signed Nortman this offseason and he's been incredible
What's weird is that Nortman was totally fine last year but suddenly over the offseason we had to replace him immediately. Glad he's working out for you!
-
Panthers cut Bene Benwikere, our most experienced CB, in order to call up our 5th round rookie from the practice squad. I'm going to jump off a fucking bridge.
I just need to take a deep breath deep breath deep breath deep breath (https://youtu.be/04s83bR9v90)
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Panthers cut Bene Benwikere, our most experienced CB, in order to call up our 5th round rookie from the practice squad. I'm going to jump off a fucking bridge.
I just need to take a deep breath deep breath deep breath deep breath (https://youtu.be/04s83bR9v90)
I read about this and there is basically a line of 31 teams waiting to claim him off waivers.
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Oh god, my team is the one going from first to worst, isn't it!?
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Oh god, my team is the one going from first to worst, isn't it!?
Second to worst
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Second to worst
Im sobbing n my car
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http://screengrabber.deadspin.com/play-football-in-a-hurricane-why-not-1787570811
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Im sobbing n my car
Well, look on the bright side - Cam's out this week!
...
Oh I guess that's pretty dark n/m
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http://screengrabber.deadspin.com/play-football-in-a-hurricane-why-not-1787570811
This game kicked ass until my power went out.
Well, look on the bright side - Cam's out this week!
...
Oh I guess that's pretty dark n/m
I have faith that Anderson can beat the Bucs again
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I love finally having my first round pick
-
Tonight! 1 vs 12! Vic vs Kilga! Misaki Nekoarcs carry a 2 point lead into tonight's matchup with their hopes buoyed on Greg Olsen to protect the lead from Hail Renko and Cameron Artis-Payne. Will Hail Renko finally get their first win of the year? Or will the Nekoarcs remain the team to beat in Maidens of the Gridiron? Find out tonight!!!
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Whoever wins, I blame Michael Floyd.
-
PANTHERS ARE 1-4 TIME TO FUCKING PANIC!!!!!!
-
Couple really close games in our league this week.
PANTHERS ARE 1-4 TIME TO FUCKING PANIC!!!!!!
Nice, Jags are only 1-3!
-
Chargers continue losing in the most Charger way possible which is hilarious
Meanwhile the Raiders Stadium deal may be finalized really soon
-
Tonight! 1 vs 12! Vic vs Kilga! Misaki Nekoarcs carry a 2 point lead into tonight's matchup with their hopes buoyed on Greg Olsen to protect the lead from Hail Renko and Cameron Artis-Payne. Will Hail Renko finally get their first win of the year? Or will the Nekoarcs remain the team to beat in Maidens of the Gridiron? Find out tonight!!!
CAP had 85 yards rushing and 2 TDs and if it weren't for Greg Olsen having a career best 181 yards receiving this would have been Kilga's first win of the year. Sorry buddy :/
-
I'm pretty sure the Panthers sucking this year is 100% my fault for ever liking the team in the first place. I mean, shit. The year I finally swear off the skins forever they make the playoffs, and they're 3-2 right now. Who ever could have believed they'd beat the damn Ravens? Oh, and I lost in fantasy by like 50 points to Paul. FML.
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OH man this sure is easier now that half my team isn't dead and also I'm not stuck in Flahda.
-
Me: Hm, I could sure use another WR to be safe. I have first choice on the waiver wire but I have enough guys on my watchlist that I should be able to grab someone tomorrow morning without burning that spot.
Also me: *this afternoon after not grabbing a WR all day* Oh hell.
-
Me: Hm, I could sure use another WR to be safe. I have first choice on the waiver wire but I have enough guys on my watchlist that I should be able to grab someone tomorrow morning without burning that spot.
Also me: *this afternoon after not grabbing a WR all day* Oh hell.
Well, you know what that means
Trade time
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I want RB
-
[21:44] <ItsPurvis> *WHAT! WHY DOES FOOBAW HAVE RED MAGES*
-
There is no way the Broncos don't score here
-
There is no way the Broncos don't score here
And yet somehow the Chargers managed to not shit the bed
-
And yet somehow the Chargers managed to not shit the bed
The mistake was going for a Hail Mary when he couldn't even throw it to the end zone. What they should have done was have someone go for like a 15 yard slant and fling it to him. With the Chargers in prevent whoever caught it could have easily ran past everybody.
Also the stadium deal is going to the governor and he's expected to sign it Monday, SO SAY HELLO TO THE LAS VEGAS RAIDERS
-
SAY HELLO TO THE LAS VEGAS RAIDERS
With the NBA looking to expand and Vegas being one of the top markets for consideration there is a VERY REAL CHANCE that Vegas could go from 0 pro sports franchises to 3 by 2020
-
Raiders start to get decent again after a decade, immediately leave.
:V
-
How are the Panthers this bad? How have we not fired Dave Gettleman yet? How can Ron Rivera seriously look at this team and think that the only thing wrong is that Michael Oher is out?
-
I didn't know first to worst was a thing
-
I didn't know first to worst was a thing
Second to worst
-
Only Panthers win came in week 2, which is the only fantasy matchup I lost. Clearly it's my fault for taking all their luck
-
Technically I guess the Panthers aren't actually the worst.
The Browns are still winless and the other one-win teams all have a win in their division
So, second-best to second-worst.
-
Other teams that are awful: The Jets. Jesus christ that game was painful to watch.
In other news, this week two of the 4-1 teams are playing each other! Get hype.
Edit: jesus kilgers stop losing
-
I suspect Eddie Lacy is going to have difficulty remaining in football shape now that he'll have 8 months of recovery+offseason.
-
jfc the Packers are awful
-
jfc the Packers are awful
Good thing the Bears are worse
-
Mistakes were made
-
Mistakes were made
Oh, were they ever.
Edit: wtf I took Jordan Reed out of my lineup on like thursday, what happened? ;_;
-
What the fuck was that ending
-
<Goodell> hey why is NFL popularity declining???
-
Geno Smith diagnosed with torn ACL and he's seeking a second opinion.
FITZMAGIC!!!
-
Geno Smith diagnosed with torn ACL and he's seeking a second opinion.
FITZMAGIC!!!
It happens every year with this guy
If you sign Fitzpatrick, never start another QB on your roster in front of him, or he'll get cursed
Gets drafted by the Rams, Marc Bulger gets injured
Goes to the Bengals, Carson Palmer gets injured
Goes to the Bills, Trent Edwards immediately goes from average to the worst QB in the league and is released after two games in 2010
Goes to the Titans, Jake Locker gets injured
Goes to the Texans, gets benched for Ryan Mallett... who gets injured
Goes to the Jets, Geno Smith gets suckerpunched and is out for the year. The following year, still on the Jets, he gets benched for Smith again who is out for the year again after a quarter and a half
-
It happens every year with this guy
Damn right it does:
(http://i.imgur.com/BcLbqu9.jpg)
-
welp (http://sports.yahoo.com/news/arian-foster-shocks-the-nfl-world-and-suddenly-announces-retirement-002902880.html)
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Texans ruined him, rip
-
Speaking of Texans, how the hell did Derek Newton tear both his patellar tendons in the game tonight? That's insane.
-
I suspect something 8-8 away at them to make them both really weak.
-
Every primetime game this week was fucking garbage.
-
https://twitter.com/ESPNStatsInfo/status/790768600688816129
toppest of keks
Elway wins again. Dude's a friggin' genius.
-
https://twitter.com/ESPNStatsInfo/status/790768600688816129
toppest of keks
Elway wins again. Dude's a friggin' genius.
Brock Osweiler is 6'7". His arm length, according to his combine stats, is 33.875". If?on every passing play called?he had taken the snap, extended his arms straight up with the ball in his hands, and fallen forward, he would have gained the same amount of yardage.
Heh heh heh heh heh.
-
http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/jags-titans-is-the-new-tradition-in-bad-primetime-games/
This is the best thing. (Sorry Edible.)
-
Can we just delete the AFC South?
-
I don't know what an AFC South is, but I do know there is apparently a team called the Texans and that's the stupidest goddamn name. They should be boycotted until they fix that shit.
What the fuck, Texas. I know you have ass right there in the name, but seriously now.
-
I'm so angry about the game yesterday I kind of went out the other side and became utterly fine with it.
Fuck the Jags, nothing they'll ever do will matter.
-
Can we just delete the AFC South?
(http://i67.tinypic.com/x1g7q8.png)
-
The AFC South is OBSOLETE
-
This is another stupid week where I lose in the leagues I care about and win in the public league I've practically abandoned. Unless I can get 23 points from the Giants defense tonight
-
This is another stupid week where I lose in the leagues I care about and win in the public league I've practically abandoned. Unless I can get 23 points from the Giants defense tonight
And then you'll be in second place with 200 points more than 1st place
8)
-
And then you'll be in second place with 200 points more than 1st place
8)
Fugg :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
-
Two wins in a row, It's officially a streak!
-
Fugg :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
It's okay you can get your revenge this week
I suspect about 70% of my team is going to underperform due to matchups
-
TIL Devin Hester is still in the league and is returning kicks for Baltimore.
-
You know, I think I had that exact reaction when we played the Ravens.
-
I was so busy this week I forgot about football. :derp:
-
You know, I think I had that exact reaction when we played the Ravens.
TIAlsoL he is now "Devin Hester Sr"
Steve Smith must be either so proud or royally pissed that someone is steppin' on his territory.
-
TIAlsoL he is now "Devin Hester Sr"
Steve Smith must be either so proud or royally pissed that someone is steppin' on his territory.
Terelle Pryor Sr.
-
Back on top!
-
This week went about as well as expected, both fantasy-wise and Jaguars-wise.
Edit:
It's okay you can get your revenge this week
I suspect about 70% of my team is going to underperform due to matchups
It was 60% on the nose, close enough!
-
What the fuck is the end of this first half!?
-
This is the worst officiating job I've ever seen. I'm shocked Rex Ryan hasn't tried to tear the ref's head off.
-
Rex Ryan is surprisingly calm at this press conference, despite being so angry earlier. Gotta give him some props. This was a great game to watch for having no rooting interest.
-
Football is terrible
Everything is terrible
-
The good news: I get to watch the Packers play in person, on Sunday.
The bad news: I get to watch the Packers play in person, on Sunday.
At least every loss is one step closer to having McCarthy fired
-
Oh god the season still isn't over, please stop the punishment.
Alshon Jeffrey now suspended for the relevant remainder of fantasy, my team has been an unmitigated tire fire this season.
-
The good news: I get to watch the Packers play in person, on Sunday.
The bad news: I get to watch the Packers play in person, on Sunday.
At least every loss is one step closer to having McCarthy fired
Good lord. I didn't even want to watch that game on TV.
-
My running back threw more touchdowns than my other QB, football is dumb
-
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/rob-gronkowski-finished-sunday-nights-game-despite-a-punctured-lung-000138061.html
bro
-
https://twitter.com/CrispinKKCO/status/798570094599217152
-
Wait, what's this? A thursday night game that might actually be watchable?
-
Wait, what's this? A thursday night game that might actually be watchable?
Don't kid yourself
-
Don't kid yourself
This.
-
List of things that are good:
-
[one 17-point lead at the half later]
-
[one 17-point lead at the half later]
I can't even be comfortable with a 30 point lead with this team
-
Luke Kuechly in tears being carted off the field, looked like he could barely breathe.
End Thursday Night Football.
-
Luke Kuechly in tears being carted off the field, looked like he could barely breathe.
End Thursday Night Football.
Well, you won
But at what cost
-
AJ Green out with a probable torn hamstring, Gio Bernard out with a torn ACL, CJ Prosise out with an injured scapula. My team is FUCKED!!
-
So are the bengals.
But what else is new?
-
So are the bengals.
But what else is new?
Well I was in first, unlike the Bengals
-
So are the bengals.
But what else is new?
This is what happens when you win a playoff game
-
One step closer to getting mccarthy fired. It was fucking cold at the game.
Even with the L, Rodgers had a great fantasy stat line, at least. 5 game win streak
-
Edible this might finally be your year!!!!!!!
-
Every year is my year!
-
Every year is my year!
(http://i42.tinypic.com/28iap6v.png)
-
;_;
-
https://twitter.com/Deadspin/status/802020024655474688
-
Desean Jackson is garbo since week 3 or something
Vic picks him up off waivers and he goes ham
https://twitter.com/Deadspin/status/802020024655474688
No
No stop
-
Desean Jackson is garbo since week 3 or something
Vic picks him up off waivers and he goes ham
He was a free agent so I didn't even use a waiver claim :V
With my luck he actually shattered his esophagus and will miss the playoffs :<
https://twitter.com/Deadspin/status/802020024655474688
Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts~
-
How the flying shit does Jeff Fisher get a two year extension?
-
How the flying shit does Jeff Fisher get a two year extension?
If I were a Rams fan I'd be furious. Hell, Eric Dickerson would probably sell more tickets as a coach even if he was worse.
-
Drew Brees you old motherfucker
-
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas this year is a new front office for the Carolina Panthers, one that actually knows what the fuck they're doing when it comes to acquiring and retaining talent.
Kissies,
Vic
-
Why are all these prime time games so awful to watch
-
Why are all these prime time games so awful to watch
Because the world must know my suffering
-
Remember when the carolina panthers benched the 2015 MVP
-
Sneaking into the playoffs by 0.12 points, nice. Not bad after starting the season 1-5
-
Bye week best week
-
For the 5 years we've been running this league, I've had the #1 seed in the playoffs 3 times and the #2 seed once. Hoping that this year yields another Nekoarcs championship!
-
Time to look forward to next year
-
*me in work league*
"Hmm, I don't like Melvin Gordon against the Panthers for today but he has a high projection and the Panthers are pretty bad, plus I'm not too confident in Mark Ingram or Todd Gurley."
*Gordon injured immediately and out for the game*
"Fuck."
-
*me in work league*
"Hmm, I don't like Melvin Gordon against the Panthers for today but he has a high projection and the Panthers are pretty bad, plus I'm not too confident in Mark Ingram or Todd Gurley."
*Gordon injured immediately and out for the game*
"Fuck."
You should have known not to trust the Chargers with anything
-
You should have known not to trust the Chargers with anything
Lucky that my other RB this week is Bell, holy fucking shit!
-
Oh hey my wide receiver sploded, What an asshole. And my red mage.
-
My unpopular opinions: The Browns will go at least .500 this year. The Cardinals will miss the playoffs.
Horribly wrong on one and 100% correct on the other. I can live with that.
-
Ah yes, the playoffs. Just in time for my team to utterly collapse again.
-
I'm glad I got the W, but man, just about everyone in the consolation brackets would have smoked any of the playoff teams, this week
-
Ah yes, the playoffs. Just in time for my team to utterly collapse again.
Mine collapsed weeks ago and hasn't stopped
-
I'm glad I got the W, but man, just about everyone in the consolation brackets would have smoked any of the playoff teams, this week
Wow jesus, really. I ended up being in one of the only two competitive games.
-
Rams
What are you doing
Rams
-
Rams
What are you doing
Rams
The right thing
-
Rams
What are you doing
Rams
What they should have done a long time ago, lol
-
The right thing
What they should have done a long time ago, lol
I mean, they never should have hired him in the first place
But extending a coach for two years and then firing him a week later?
-
:rasm:
-
Saw Edible mention the Rams, instantly knew it was Jeff Fisher getting fired. :V
-
I can't stop tinkering with my stupid fucking team!!!
-
Fucking Tyler Lockett, I swear to god if I wind up losing again this year...
-
Fucking Tyler Lockett, I swear to god if I wind up losing again this year...
Lol, funnily enough, the only reason I even put in Lockett was because Michael Floyd get a DUI
-
Lol, funnily enough, the only reason I even put in Lockett was because Michael Floyd get a DUI
Floyd got claimed by the Patriots and he flew to Denver with them, shoulda stuck with them
-
Me: "Hmm, Matt Moore might be a good pick-up this week, especially with Brees playing the Cardinals."
Also me: *forgets the Dolphins play on Saturday*
-
It's okay, the Jets forgot the Dolphins were playing yesterday too
-
23 points from the Dolphins D. Thank god the Jets are terrible
-
23 points from the Dolphins D. Thank god the Jets are terrible
I hate you and your STUPID team so much
It's okay, the Jets forgot the Dolphins were playing yesterday too
It would have been great if I'd actually remembered to pick him up
-
I hate you and your STUPID team so much
Come on. If you learned anything from that game, it should have been that it's a bad idea to be Petty.
-
Come on. If you learned anything from that game, it should have been that it's a bad idea to be Petty.
ughhhhhhhh puns
-
https://twitter.com/barstoolsports/status/810334227149557760
-
As a Packers fan, I ain't even mad that I'm Ty Montgomery gonna single-handedly beat me this week lol
-
Jags fire Bradley, finally
-
Jags fire Bradley, finally
god
-
As a Packers fan, I ain't even mad that I'm Ty Montgomery gonna single-handedly beat me this week lol
What about Devonta Freeman doing it?
-
Well, one more week left for Vic's team to collapse horribly upon itself
-
Well, one more week left for Vic's team to collapse horribly upon itself
I already lost to Zirene this year so of course I'll lose again!
-
What about Devonta Freeman doing it?
Little more hard to swallow, lol
-
Team looking worse than last year? Fans feeling down in the dumps?
I have a solution for you - beating the Redskins!
Yes, you too can get over your bad season by staying in the playoff hunt by beating the shit out of Washington.
-
Team looking worse than last year? Fans feeling down in the dumps?
I have a solution for you - beating the Redskins!
Yes, you too can get over your bad season by staying in the playoff hunt by beating the shit out of Washington.
Beating Josh Norman was my only hope this year
-
Pressing questions:
- Will Tom Brady lose his starting job to Jimmy Garoppolo, or will he lose it to Jacoby Brissett who will beat out Garoppolo in camp?
- Will Favre come back now that he's in the HOF to sling it one more time?
- Will the Browns finally be relegated to the CFL?
- Will the MVP finally be awarded to the most deserving recipient: The Troops?
- Will the AFCCG not be Patriots vs Steelers?
- Garoppolo played very well then got hurt, while Brissett played well until he also got hurt then went to IR. Patriots just activated him from IR and Brady has looked incredible this year. Is Garoppolo still on the team? Serious question, I haven't heard his name since week 3. Maybe Belichick already traded him away for a bevy of picks.
- Sadly no, despite both the Vikings and Jets needing serious QB help this year, in addition to putrid QB play from the Browns, 49ers, and Bears.
- 0-16 is a serious possibility and a parade to celebrate has preemptively been crowdfunded. Browns should be relegated to NCAA Division 2.
- I see no player more deserving of MVP recognition than The Troops.
- For a while there it looked like Patriots-Raiders or Patriots-Ravens, but now it looks like Patriots-Steelers is back on!!! NFC probably Cowboys-Seahawks.
-
Are the Chargers actually worse than the Browns now?
Post-season predictions:
AFC:
Champs
- Patriots
- Steelers
- Colts
- Chiefs
Wild Card
NFC:
Champs
- Panthers
- Packers
- Cardinals
- Cowboys
Wild Card
Spoilers: the Chargers were not worse than the Browns, but Philip Rivers is this generation's Dan Marino
AFC picks looking pretty good. Whiffed on the Bengals and Colts, but with the Ravens looking to fill our yearly "multiple AFC North playoff teams" itch we're good. I don't trust the Dolphins to keep it all together with Matt Moore under center, but maybe the Patriots won't care about playing well in week 17? AFC South is terrible but we might actually see the Titans make the playoffs!!!!!
NFC picks I only had Dallas right, Seahawks already clinched their division. NFC North is completely unknown and we might seriously get multiple NFC East teams in the playoffs which is an utter nightmare of Lovecraftian creation. As always, fuck the Falcons who are already NFC South champions but the Panthers have a 0.004% chance of getting a Wild Card spot!!!! KEEP DAMN POUNDING!!!!!!
(please dont we need a good draft pick more than a playoff loss)
-
>mfw the Titans cock up their playoff hopes by choking against Blake Bortles
-
Motherfucking Kirk Cousins I swear to FUCKING Christmas
-
Called the Browns beating the Chargers
-
Jesus christ, poor raiders
-
I need Golden Tate to have a monster game for another league so congrats to Zirene for winning
you cheeky bastard
hope Arkansas loses the Belk Bowl so you don't get all the joy!!!
-
Jesus christ, poor patriots haters hoping anyone else would represent the AFC in the SB
-
That is also true
Edit: Also, Vic appears to have lost despite lamar miller being out
-
77 points from Rodgers/Nelson and I'm somehow behind going into the last 3 games...
-
That is also true
Edit: Also, Vic appears to have lost despite lamar miller being out
Zirene needs 12 points from Golden Tate, Ezekiel Elliott, and Demaryius Thomas to win. I'm not sure I could have arranged my current roster to win anyway.
-
Here's what needs to happen in order for me to win the league, thanks to Demaryius Thomas having a very quiet game last night:
1) Ezekiel Elliott needs to have the worst game of his professional career, just a complete and utter dismantling of the Cowboys run game
2) Golden Tate should be held to probably less than 20 yards receiving
3) The two of them combined must have less than 9 total fantasy points
PS as an amusing side note, my work league tonight has me in the lead by one point with Tate to play vs them with Elliott
-
It's okay if the Cowboys were smart they'd just bench everyone for the rest of the year
-
It's okay if the Cowboys were smart they'd just bench everyone for the rest of the year
I hope so
-
Welp, that about wraps it up for this year of fantasy foosball :V
-
Welp, that about wraps it up for this year of fantasy foosball :V
Should have asked for a miracle for Christmas
-
Should have asked for a miracle for Christmas
I believe you mean "Fuck."
-
Snagged a podium spot, at least, this year
-
At long last, my team's suffering is at an end. It may be time for a new name for next year.
Congratulations to Catbird Seat
-
Welp, that about wraps it up for this year of fantasy foosball :V
This year sucked
-
Not Worst Place! Woo!
-
Won my work league, so I guess this is good enough
-
Won my work league, so I guess this is good enough
Grats!
In hilarious news, the 49ers fired their GM/HC. As a result, they now owe almost 70 million dollars to coaches who no longer work for the team.
-
(6) Miami at (3) Pittsburgh
(5) Oakland at (4) Houston
(6) Detroit at (3) Seattle
(5) NY Giants at (4) Green Bay
(5) Oakland at (1) New England
(3) Pittsburgh at (2) Kansas City
(5) NY Giants at (1) Dallas
(3) Seattle at (2) Atlanta
(3) Pittsburgh at (1) New England
(5) NY Giants at (2) Atlanta
(1) New England vs. (5) NY Giants
We all know this is how it's going to go down, someone just end me now.
-
We all know this is how it's going to go down, someone just end me now.
I'd only really start worrying if the Giants beat Green Bay :V
-
Eli actually went through Lambeau both (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007%E2%80%9308_NFL_playoffs) times (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011%E2%80%9312_NFL_playoffs) he won a ring, sooooooo
-
Exactly.
Commence despairing only after he somehow pulls out a win in Green Bay, because afterwards it will be inevitable.
-
Welp, good thing that was put to bed quickly =p
-
Guess they should've stayed off the beach.
-
THANK YOU BASED RODGERS YOU ARE MY GREATEST ALLY
-
Who's ready for Patriots/Cowboys??????
-
Eh, I'm not convinced Prescott makes it that far. Teams were starting to figure him out by the end of the regular season. Seattle in particular has a very real chance of knocking them off.
-
Packers are looking red-hot, I dunno. And Atlanta's been great all year. Dallas has a much rougher time of it than New England.
-
GB and ATL have a real shot at beating the boys, I wouldn't pencil them in yet.
Pats look pretty good for the Superb Owl again this year though, not sure I can put faith into Pittsburgh or KC to beat them in Foxborough.
-
As long as the south loses.
-
Pretty good change of that happening! You have New England, Pittsburgh, Green Bay and Seattle for the union and Kansas City, Atlanta, Dallas, and Houston for the confederacy. I'd take that first group 11 times out of 10 this year.
-
Los Angeles Chargers
Fucking lmao
-
Los Angeles Chargers
Fucking lmao
Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts. I think Spanos just wants to up the value of the team by putting them in an LA market before selling it, but I don't see how anyone will give a fuck about the team in the meantime.
In other news, Falcons are scary, Osweiler is garbo.
-
If Dallas wants to win the super bowl this year they'd put in Romo over Prescott. I mean, I understand why they have Prescott in, but if your a super bowl contender, you should play your best players. Prescott can't throw the ball deep, which is going to be a problem. Also, I always thought the falcons were overlooked. They have a strong team this year. Honestly I think they're the ones going to the super bowl.
On the other side of the conference I think the AFC's quality of teams is a joke compared to the NFC. New England is New England, and they're always going to be a threat, but honestly I think people give them a little too much credit this year. I feel like this is the weakest New England team I can remember, and the reason their record is so good is nearly all of their wins came from .500 or below teams (except for The Broncos who, let's face it, at the end of the year were BAD, and the Steelers who didn't have Big Ben and were on a losing streak.) If the Pats were playing in the NFC this year, they'd have been eliminated.
In short, I think the Falcons are going to win it all especially if Dallas doesn't play Romo. Though the Pats might win it just cause it's the Pats.
-
GODGERS
CROSBY
GOATGOATGOAT
-
Wowowow Rodgers why couldn't you be this Godgers for me during the regular season in my money league.
-
GET FUCKED DALLASS
-
Pressing questions:
- Will the AFCCG not be Patriots vs Steelers?
GG me
-
GET FUCKED DALLASS
-
(http://i.imgur.com/bXenpEf.jpg)
-
I can't believe I have to pull for the fucking Patriots
-
It's a tough call this year for the neutral fan, admittedly. Root for the Trump Trio to lose, or root for Goodell having to hand Brady the trophy?
-
Root for the Trump Trio to lose, or root for Goodell having to hand Brady the trophy?
Hello whiskey my old friend
-
I don't hate either team, so it will likely just be whoever I have money on (or what squares I got). Goodell having to hand Brady a trophy would be rather hilarious though.
-
All in on 5th* ring*
-
All in on 5th* ring*
Betraying your birds? I'm neutrally rooting for the Falcons.
-
Birb yay.
-
LESS THAN 12 HOURS
ARE YOUR BODIES READY
-
Just woke up. Peeked at the game while having supper. Really seems like the patriots are not living up, doesn't it?
-
I got $100 on the Falcons straight up right before kickoff, feeling good.
-
You know that thing the Pats do to bad teams every year?
-
You know that thing the Pats do to bad teams every year?
I don't either.
-
Hoooooooooooly shit
-
Hoooooooooooly shit
Doesn't really begin to describe it
-
HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
-
HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT
DOESN'T REALLY BEGIN TO DESCRIBE IT
-
I regret everything
-
This puts any "greatest NFL quarterback" arguments right to bed.
What a game, jesus.
-
Fuck the Falcons forever and ever Amen
-
I hate Dan Quinn forever now.
Must applaud the Patriots in the end, they adjusted incredibly well after the half and the Falcons D couldn't get a stop in the second half.
-
Well, at least time time the Trumpists defeated the South rather than coddling it.
-
LOOOOOOOL EZ MONEY
-
HOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT (https://youtu.be/DV1fUwKMdAI)
-
So did the falcons just completely fall the fuck apart? I watched a bit of the second quarter and it seems like their defense was about as airtight as you could reasonably expect.
-
It was a combination of New England stepping on the gas and Atlanta gagging the game away. Here's (http://deadspin.com/all-the-falcons-had-to-do-was-not-lose-23-yards-1792028183) a pretty good take on the whole thing.
-
I mean, Atlanta could have quite literally taken 3 knees and punted on every possession after going up 25 and won. This was a choke of epic proportions.
-
https://twitter.com/360FFB/status/829813099058384898
-
So long, Oakland. Raiders approved to move to Las Vegas. (http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/19016323/raiders-move-las-vegas-approved-31-1)
-
I don't care that we're getting the raiders anymore, I care more that we're getting WRESTLEMANIA somewhere down the line