Create.swf Adventures: Cottagesnagged (thread 2)

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

Not this thingy again! Do I need to explain the limited number of player-characters once more? None of that, it is time for Meimu!

[Oldmansour]

>Develop a Disco-themed spellcard.

[Dumanios]

>Go to the place where everyone else is going. Especially before her...

[Monkeypro257]

>Lets go to Makai, and trash the place until someone important shows up. . .

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Meimu: Check to see what your current score is.

You might as well try to determine what kind of points you'll get for completing the game.

Well, these scores are certainly rather useless. It appears that they aren't even for you personally. Even if you were to try to claim that the stable time loop was entirely your own doing, which you do, you cannot avoid the fact that you weren't even remotely involved in rescuing Sacchin. Er ... you weren't involved in rescuing any foundlings. You don't actually know Sacchin's name.

> Meimu: What spellcards do you have?

Let's see, there Border Sign 「Edge of Darkness」, which is fairly straightforward. (It wasn't actually an intentional reference to the phrase "darker and edgier.") Then there's Edge Sign 「Edge of Hearing」, which is all about circular waves which fade in and out seemingly randomly, which seemed like a good idea when you came up with it in your head. You have a few Time Signs, but they only work in Gap Land, which you have no intention of entering ever again so screw them.

Also, at some point you appear to have come up with Edge Sign 「Youkai's View of Topology」, Life and Death 「Four Edges of the Netherworld」, 「Navy-Blue Generation」, and Evil Spirits 「Meimu's Spiriting Away」 (that last one is based on one of your mother's Spell Cards). You binged on creating all of them at once for no particular reason.

Your Spell Cards tend to use dark bullets. All of them have some sort of edge, of course.

> Meimu: Go to the place where everyone else is going. Especially before her...

You believe you know where the cottage is, so you just open an aperture and head on over!

My, this chapter has been shorter than the others, hasn't it? I think? Perhaps it's merely the lack of extra exposition needed. Or Strife, for that matter ? that took twenty-three pages in Chapter 1, and sixteen in Chapter 2 ...

> ↱⇉↬⇛

The musical accompaniment is ?

There isn't gonna be a musical accompaniment!

? absent, and you enter the cottage in silence.

Oh sure, REAL cute there! That's it, I'm taking this narrative back before I have to spend one more minute doing this weird out-of-character shit! You have no idea what you're doing here, do you, Yukari?

> -=->

Anyway, you land and step onto the transportalizer.

> -=->

Oh my god you don't step onto the transportalizer.

> -=->

You are Kon Yakumo, alias Meimu. You almost-but-not-quite arrived at the game your mother was initiating, when suddenly you were interrupted by the lights turning on and the arrival of her shikigami, Ran Yakumo. Of the other members of your family, Ran is arguably the worst to deal with. What will you do first?

[Oldmansour]

>Gulp.
>"Hi, dad!"

[Dumanios]

>Uhhh...
>Make fox noises.
>Escape while Ran's distracted.

[Monkeypro257]

>Spin until it's tomorrow  then quickly tell a lie.

[Juubi Neion]

>Gulp.
>"Hi, dad!"

I second this.

[Smashy]

> Claim ownership of the room you are currently in.  Then you'll be in your room.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Meimu: Open aperture. Retrieve Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeen for fox-distractionary purposes.

Yeah, no. That might have worked 40 years ago, but way before you were born, Chen Yakumo went for a boost to her Maturity Attribute, which basically dumped her Cuteness in favor of Pulchritude, and also maxed out her Majyyks at the expense of Imagination. Bottom line is, there's no chance that Ran will succumb to unfathomable cutethirst any time soon. (In one of her less-hostile moments, Ran said she thought this was a vast improvement in every other way, which you can't understand because this works out all the worse for you.)

This would be bad enough, but having them in the same room together would power both of them up due to their shikigami bond, and even with the size of your ego, that is not a fight you're expecting to win.

> Meimu: Claim ownership of the room you are currently in. Then you'll be in your room.

> Meimu: The most sensible and dignified response is obviously ... running away as fast as you can.

Screw this, you're outta here.

> Meimu: Teleport onto the roof.

> -=->

You've made the perfect escape. That'll teach her to try to chase you down, because she just got schooled, and she passed with straight A's! No one will ever catch you, Meimu, the Youkai of Awesome!

No one will ever get the joke that, based on Name That Color, the speed-lines and letters for Kon on the last page were navy-blue, and the colors for Ran were indigo! (That's the Yakumo family's naming-scheme. "Yukari" means "violet," and "Chen" uses the character or "orange.")

[Smashy]

> Ok, back to what we were doing before Ran happened.

[Dumanios]

>Aperture into room.
>Transportalize.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Meimu: Manipulate the edge of perception to exclude yourself.

Well whaddaya know, that actually worked.

> -=->

See? She's looking right at you and can't see you at all!

> Meimu: While she's distracted, quick!

You are very careful to make sure that the aperture remains within your edge.

> -=->

YOU ARE UNSTOPPABOOBLE WAIT SHIT

> Meimu: Transportalize.

And now you got Ran to fall for the same trick twice! SUCCESS!

> -=->

> -=->

God damn it, Yukari.

> End of Chapter 3

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

From someone on the MSPA forum:

>Begin Intermission: "Don't bleed on the dresses."

Tempted ...

[Dumanios]

>Set up them the bomb.

[achicken]

> Don't fall into tragedy. Always be full of happiness! You can never lose hope. No pain no gain. Make this the end of your inferiority complex! Remember to keep it hot forever! Now... you must continue!

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Exit to check for updates on the game to see if there's an update patch or DLC.

Looks like there's two DLC stories, which are free because the creators have words to say about the other kind. Words like "D"LC and money-grubbing. Or the kind of words Carroll is specifically forbidden from saying.

The first one seems kinda neat, and looks like you could start playing it any time. The way they're hiding Mima's last name is kinda cheap and dumb there. Is that the Scarlet Devil Mansion?

It seems you can only play the second one after you've beaten Cottagesnagged. Looks like older versions of the kids you've got already, but who's ... oh right, Shanghai used Alice's "doll enlargement project" to make herself full-sized at some point, didn't she? You have no idea why they're standing in Yukari's boundary-background from Immaterial and Missing Power.

You experience vast sorrow because this page is basically directly referencing the fact that this will be my last Touhou fanwork ever, given that I'll never be able to finish all the other ones.

> Begin Intermission: "Don't bleed on the dresses."

What, are you sure? I mean, we've already been wasting massive amount of time not seeing the actual game. It'd be like if the Homestuck intermission was at the end of act 1. Not to mention the massive amounts of time I've had to waste with my mental problems! THIS IS ALMOST A SECOND WEEK WITHOUT UPDATES! Wheeeee, I'm completely freaking nuts.

So, anyway, you just set both DLC items to download in the background.

> -=->

You are now back to being Hakurei Satsuki, except when you get confused and refer to yourself as Satsuki Hakurei, because between the way the English Language is used so commonly along with Gensokyo's native Japanese, and the number of people who use either naming-order (Saigyouji Yuyuko versus Flandre Scarlet, for instance), you cannot grok anyone's naming-orders worth a damn. (The last straw was the mix-and-match approach of the Kirisame-Margatroid family.)

Anyway, you have just transportalized into a small room. It contains a variety of objects which you have never seen before. This appears to be your first task in the test of your skills as the new Hakurei Shrine Maiden. What will you do first?

[KaiserKnuckle]

> Play that funky music, Japanese girl.
> Look outside the stained glass window.

[Juubi Neion]

>Examine jewel on ground(if it is indeed a jewel), then put it in the donation box.

[Stuffman]

> Examine giant nail; consider feasibility of Bang Shishigami cosplay.

[achicken]

> Rob the poor box. (It DOES technically belong to your family y'know.)

[Dumanios]

>Examine doll.

[capt. h]

> Open door.

[Raitaki]

> Set the nail on the (presumably) record player thing next to the door. Turn it on.
> Use tissues to wipe away tears of agony while listening to music from the record being horribly butchered by the nail.
> Hug the Flandre doll if it really hurts.

[Dumanios]

>Get off transportalizer as not to get telefragged by Carol or Kon.

[Smashy]

> See if the orb with the star has any special magicks like your Yin-yang orb

[Stuffman]

> Open door.

> Get on the floor.
> Everybody do the dinosaur.

[Monkeypro257]

>Put on the Tengu cap and head out the door.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Sacchin: Step off and step back on transportalizer, just in case.

Ooh, nice idea. Nothing happens, though.

> Sacchin: Open door.

No dice; it's locked. You aren't sure why you even bothered, really. If your adventure starts out in a small room with a single door, of course it's going to be locked.

On the other hand, after mulling it over a bit, you decide that if you hadn't checked, you're pretty sure it would have turned out not to be locked in the first place after several hours of screwing around.

(Little do you know that this is pretty much literally what Yukari did.)

> Sacchin: Examine GIANT NAIL.

You examine the Shishigami Nail. You have no idea what the fuck this is. Some kind of weapon? Which is also equippable in the Back Slot? You don't even know what you want to do with this thing.

Man. First there was "shikigami" (familiars), then there was "shinigami" (reapers and ferriers of the dead), and now something's called "Shishigami." You begin to suspect some sort of pattern.

> Sacchin: Examine doll.

You examine the Frandoll. It is the likeness of Gensokyo's most highly-skilled physician, the vampire Flandre Scarlet, whose primary ability, manipulation of destruction, can be used to negate destruction as well, and thus heal injuries (mostly).

This Frandre is wearing some sort of weird nightgown instead of either her nurse uniform or her Scarlet Dress. You wonder who made the Flandle, and why.

> Sacchin: Retrieve alms from donation box.

You move aside the lid of the donation box. There's no money; you're pretty sure this puzzle game isn't going to have that many visitors who are willing to donate anyway.

You do, however, find a piece of paper with the symbols Cross Arrow - Sideways-69 - Weird M on it, in addition to the text Kawa 6549.11. You consider whether to pick it up.