Create.swf Adventures: Cottagesnagged (thread 2)

[Dumanios]

> A Shanghai Doll? Eh, what the hell. Call her.

[Smashy]

> Assess own hax levels

[capt. h]

> Wait out punishment.

[Oldmansour]

>Hone our ice hockey edge. Or our edge at whatever-Gensokyoans-do-for-sports-in-winter-time.

[KaiserKnuckle]

> Check for usual constitutions.

[Juubi Neion]

> Elaborate on any hidden meanings of your Kawadec number. I mean, there's bound to be some sort of meta-reference or something in there, right?
Oh, and
> Call Shanghai, I guess.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Meimu: Figure out Cirno's number so you can block her too.

You should probably block everyone else who was involved in your little incident at the time, but you have no idea what their Kawadec numbers are.

You are certain you've correctly guessed that of the ice fairy, however. One hundred percent positive.

> Meimu: Grab the edge of the picture you are in and climb out.

There is a fallacious idea among Touhou theorists that if a special ability is defined as "manipulation of X" (i.e. "manipulation of boundaries" or "manipulation of ice"), then this automatically and necessarily translates to a complete and unlimited command of the aspect in question, given the right amount of creativity on the part of the theorists, regardless of that character's defined or demonstrated use of the ability in canon.

For instance, there's idea that Cirno (as a simple ice fairy, that is, not the changed version who exists only within the bounds of this weird fanfiction) should be able to produce heat, and lower temperatures to absolute zero, if she were to just put her mind to it; this is in spite of the fact that she is a mere fairy who would not have the raw power necessary to do either of the above. There's also the conjecture that Yukari Yakumo is functionally omnipotent, given that her ability is stated to cover "the boundary between mountain and sky" or "between night and day", and the number of things one could rules-lawyer into being considered as a "boundary"; this unfortunately ignores the many ... limitations which are displayed in canon, such as the ... difficulties in getting to the moon ... and ... Yukari is actually a bad example, because she is functionally omnipotent given her immense hax! You can tell this is a true fact because it is presented by the omniscient narration.

Anyway, let's skip to the bottom line: you're neither powerful nor knowledgeable enough to mess around with the Fourth Wall.

> Meimu: A Shanghai Doll? Eh, what the hell. Call her.

You let out a sigh which is as overly-dramatic as it is poorly-depicted, and call up the Shanghai doll. You have no idea who or what she really is, but she does have good advice on the rare occasions that you're inclined to accept it.

> ↱⇉↬⇛

> ↱⇉↬⇛

> ↱⇉↬⇛

Well, then! You know what's going to happen now. Asking nicely has clearly failed, and you must resort to Strife. This is not a battle of magic and bullets, but rather words and wit. This is Strife Modus: Converse!

Shanghai, of course, cares not one bit for when her opponent is outmatched or unarmed. Honestly, you'd have better luck if it was a danmaku duel. But you've now forgotten that the Kawadec ruse was meant to be a distaction.

> Strife Modus: CONVERSE -Running-

[Hello Purvis]

>Liken her countenance to plywood.

[Yaersulf]

>You fight like a dairy farmer!

[KaiserKnuckle]

> *taunt that involves gunpowder*

[Hello Purvis]

> *taunt that involves gunpowder*

>"You explosive-stuffed pseudoperson!"

[Dumanios]

>Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

[achicken]

> Attempt to apeture through your kawadec connection. :3

[Juubi Neion]

There's also the conjecture that Yukari Yakumo is functionally omnipotent, given that her ability is stated to cover "the boundary between mountain and sky" or "between night and day", and the number of things one could rules-lawyer into being considered as a "boundary"; this unfortunately ignores the many ... limitations which are displayed in canon, such as the ... difficulties in getting to the moon ... and ... Yukari is actually a bad example, because she is functionally omnipotent given her immense hax! You can tell this is a true fact because it is presented by the omniscient narration.

But it's not in red, is it?

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Strife Modus: CONVERSE -Running-

> Continue Strife Modus: CONVERSE -Running-

[Oldmansour]

>Attempt flattery. Insomuch as we can.

[Hello Purvis]

>Attempt backhanded flattery: "You look really nice for a flat girl."

[Raitaki]

> Nope, nope! Snark doesn't quite work against a person like this! It's time to kick our pride out the window (wall?) and beg.

[Hello Purvis]

>Like we're smart enough to figure that out.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Continue Strife Modus: CONVERSE -Running-

[achicken]

> AAAARGH
WHAAAARGABL

[Raitaki]

> Enter flattery-ARGH dualism.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> [Strife] Meimu: Work off of weakness and interpret it literally.

You attempt to calm down, and after only a single update, you stop doing that thing where you incrementally add a new dialogue image to the same Strife page. ... Er, if you're viewing this on one of the forums, you probably don't need to worry about that last part.

In fact, you know what, let's skip the whole Strife deal, it was getting tiresome and pointless~

> ↱⇉↬⇛

> Meimu: Attempt to aperture through Kawadec connection.

> ↱⇉↬⇛

Er ... whoops!

Hmm. I'd better make sure that doesn't work more than once.

> ↱⇉↬⇛

[Dumanios]

>If our ego allows it, thank Shanghai.

[Oldmansour]

>Victory Dance. That THAT, Mom!

[Hello Purvis]

>Thank Shanghai? It's time to give her a thrashing she'll never forget!

[Monkeypro257]

> Add some danmaku to shanghai just for the little troubles she caused.

[Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin]

> Fourth Wall: Break.

Hello? Muffin? Are you there? I know I'm supposed to be the one updating Cottagesnagged, but you're pushing a week and a half with no updates, and your absence is quite worrisome! Was it something we said? Or did you just do another acrobatic fucking pirouette? Look, I even used a gap to obscure your apartment number before I posted it on the internet!

Hmph. I guess I'd best continue working on this, if Muffin is going to be hiding. I imagine the Maid of Heart wishes he'd had me doing this long ago! Yes, by the way, that's Muffin's class and aspect. He's the Maid of Heart.

Also, I reserve the right to take bits of a lengthy post containing multiple successive commands, and use only a few of with in a completely different order and meaning than they were intended to have. Moving on!

> Meimu: Exult in your escape from Yukari's punishment!

You exult in victory in the only reasonably way you ...

Hang on a moment, you need to don your awesome clothes now that you are beyond the reach your mother's barrier.

> ↱⇉↬⇛

The only reasonable way to exult is to dance in the most ridiculous manner imaginable!

> Meimu: See Fourth Wall.

> ↱⇉↬⇛

> Meimu: Add some danmaku to Shanghai just for the little troubles she caused.

Oh my! What a flagrant disregard for the Spell Card Rules. That sort of thing is eventually going to come back and bite you, you know. Or rather, you don't know, because if there's one thing you're good at, it's not learning from your mistakes.

And now I'm going to have to pacify Marisa and Alice before they attempt to murder you.

[Juubi Neion]

Yukari: Maid of Heart? Interesting. Do our three protagonists have similar titles?
Alice: Refuse to be pacified.

[Smashy]

> Shanghai: Flip the danmaku turnways so they kinda look like ears.  As soon as you wake up.