JUDGEMENT
Right, so after reading both entries, here's the final verdict. I'm making this short:
The first round goes to Shadoweh.
Clever use of characters and places of the Touhou-setting to make a fully new story while still keeping the plot of LotR recognizable, instead of just swapping some names. That is how a proper parody is done~
Kips' entry was unfortunately more simply replacing names of characters, and rarely adjustments of the story to fit the character choices. As such, the choice is clear.
With that, let us continue on to the next round.
Note that I ignored the Ammy-count here. It may be implemented later, but so far it has done one thing: It has changed what the second task will be. Seeing all the Ammys made me think of Aya, so....
Round II: I wanna be the Bunbunmaru
Ever wanted to be a reporter? No? Well, you don't have a choice anymore.
You have ended up in Gensokyo under mysterious circumstances (read: Yukari fooling around again), and now you are stranded in the tengu-village, working as an assistant for the infamous Aya Shameimaru herself.
Days have been slow and boring, nothing much happens except "Shrine maiden beats down assorted youkai", but you don't mind. Better than being worked to the bone all day, like that poor mut Momiji.
Suddenly, the door flies open, and a whirlwind enters the office. You throw yourself forward to keep all the papers on the desk from taking flight, and watch as your boss Aya crashes into the next shelf.
Something has gotten her awfully excited, and you fear it will result in more work for you.
You get up and lean over the table to see where Aya fell to the ground, but just at that moment she raises her hand towards you and pushes her camera towards you.
"Develop... those...... need....special... issue....", she says before passing out.
You decide that she's probably okay sleeping on the floor and head over to the kappa-lab to develop the pics.
Nitori tells you to wait outside for a while, as usual, but when she finally comes out of the lab again something about her is weird. She seems awfully flustered as she tells you in a small voice that the pictures are done.
You aren't sure why she didn't bring them out herself, but you dismiss the thought at once and go inside.
As soon as you lay eyes on the pictures, you understand Aya's excitement and Nitori's reaction.
Your mind is working overtime to try and figure out just what exactly you are looking at there.
You recognize the people, or well, beings, pictured in the photos, but just what are they
doing there?
If this is what you think then....
You rush back to the Bunbunmaru office in a hurry, hoping to get some answers from your superior.
Unfortunately, Aya is still passed out. Fortunately, you can easily find her notepad. Her scribbles are hard to read, but you have exercise by now and notice that she apparently wrote out the whole story she witnessed.
How she managed to write that much and take pictures at the same time is beyond your understanding, but this is Gensokyo, so nothing really surprises you anymore.
You start reading...
It was a slow, hot afternoon when Rinnosuke was working in his shop. The heat was getting unbearable for the half-youkai, even though the windows were open to let a calm breeze into the store. The shopkeeper fanned himself, trying to keep cool as sweat trickled down his pale skin, each droplet glistening as they caught light from the open windows before catching on his black velvet choker. Desperate for a respite from the suffocating heat, Rinnosuke loosened his sash and pulled on his robe, revealing his dark shirt, clinging to his narrow chest and contouring along his slim stomach. The shifting of clothing also revealed his delicate collarbone, prominent and slick with sweat, just waiting for the attentions of a lover. The golden eyed man sighed, wishing for relief: if only he would come, and deliver him from this maddening heat, or perhaps deliver him to a different sort of heat?
The flutter of wings and the click clacking of wooden geta alerted him to new arrivals, and he looked up in time to see the door of his shop open. A small flock of tengu entered, geta clattering on his wooden floor and blades narrowly missing racks of traded goods, and stood at attention, flanking the entryway of his store. The reason for this became apparent, as a magnificent specimen of a tengu strode inside, as though he owned everything and everyone inside the building. In a matter of speaking, this was true: the tengu practically exuded predatory dominance, a sort of charismatic musk that demanded respect. The tall tengu continued forward towards the captivated shopkeeper like a hunting tiger, stalking his prey with coiled muscles, his billowing robes brushing against various trinkets.
He reached the shopkeeper, who, despite his own considerable height, had to tilt his head upward to meet the tengu?s eyes, and gently, yet firmly, placed muscular hands on the shopkeeper?s shoulders. Rinnosuke?s eyes did not meet the tengu?s own straight away, instead traversing the tengu?s sculpted chest, bared to the world, muscular and hard as the cliffs the tengu reigned over, glistening with salty perspiration. The shopkeeper detected a strong, manly odor from him, a sort of exotic and refreshing scent that aroused excitement inside of the half-youkai. Distractedly, he finally met the eyes of the tengu, having to tilt his head upwards despite his own significant height, losing himself in his steely yet gentle gaze. ?L-Lord Tenma??
?Hello, Rinnosuke Morichika at the Kourindou,? the ruler of tengu greeted, his low, melodious voice sending shivers down to the cockles of Rinnosuke?s heart, or perhaps below somewhere, in the sub-cockles, maybe in the liver or kidneys, he wasn?t sure, ?I have returned, and I come with gifts.? He released Rinnosuke?s shoulders, much to the shopkeeper?s dismay, and reached behind himself. ?I caught this fresh water fish this morning, with my bear hands. I thought you would like it.?
?Th-that?s fine, Lord Tenma,? the shopkeeper said in reply, captivated by the tengu lord?s manliness. The leader of the mightiest group of youkai set the offering on the counter that Rinnosuke was sitting behind, then embraced the flushed shopkeeper, his strong, muscular arms enveloping the thin white-haired man. ?My lord!? Rinnosuke said in a startled tone, the palms of his delicate hands pressed against the tengu?s smooth, sweat slicked skin.
The tengu?s mouth was near the shopkeeper?s ear, and Rinnosuke couldn?t suppress the shivers that raced down his spine as the tengu lord murmured in his ear, his hot breath tingling the hairs on Rinnosuke?s neck. ?You know that you may call me ?Tenma?, Rinnosuke,? the tengu purred, a hand tracing its way up Rinnosuke?s back. The half-youkai tried to arch away from the touch, but that only forced him to press himself against the tengu, allowing him to feel his hot aura of musky, manly lust. ?As we are in a commited relationship, we may call each other by our given names, so that we may nurture this love-filled trust explosion to the next level.? As he said this, his hand continued tracing up the muscles of Rinnosuke?s back, between his shoulder blades and to his neck, reaching for the dark collar on his neck. His fingers, strong and calloused, gently dug into sensitive nerves in the shopkeeper?s neck as he reached for the catches of the collar. ?Can I lead you to distant islands of pleasures? No,? he answered his own quetstion as he released the catch, allowing the collar to flutter to the ground, leaving bare the half-youkai?s long, sensuous neck, vulnerable to the tengu?s nerve exciting touch. ?Only you can,? Tenma?s fingers stroked upwards until it reached the delicate curve of Rinnosuke?s jawline, tilting his mouth upwards, ?and I can too.? The tengu?s mouth drifted closer to Rinnosuke?s, his breath tickling the half-youkai?s dry lips?
? But the half-youkai, panting with excitement, turned his head away, gently pushing the tengu lord away with long, thing fingers. ?I?m sorry, Tenma, but I don?t believe now is the time.? Rinnosuke?s golden eyes, more suitable to a predator that the lanky shopkeeper, glanced towards the stoic tengu guard, but stayed averted from Tenma, trying to hide from the tengu?s disappointed gaze.
?? I see. Now isn?t the time, indeed, for I need to discuss something with the Yakumo,? the lord of tengu agreed, stepping away from the shopkeeper and towards the door. However, he paused, next to a man-sized statue of a white stallion, rearing to the ceiling. ?Just know, when I return, I shall take you on a pleasure journey far beyond your wildest expectations, unless, of course, you?d rather stay in.? With that, his fist whipped out, shattering the horse?s head, which unleashed a cascade of precious stones and puppies, scattering across the floor in a cacophony of rattles and confused yelps. The lord of the tengu ignored this, and instead turned around theatrically, and strode out of the door, his escort soon following.
When the door swung to a close, Rinnosuke slumped weakly to the ground, sitting on top of a mess of moss agates, rubies, and star sapphires. He then shifted to the left some, so that the fairy could get free with a few hurled insults, and leaned heavily against his counter. He closed his eyes, and fretted quietly, trying to shake off the heat that the tengu had stirred within him, before a cold nose touched his hand. The shopkeeper opened his eyes to see a young beagle looking at him with doleful eyes. Kourin took the puppy in his hands and held him up, looking at the puppy in the eyes. ?Oh, just what am I going to do? Especially since he will be coming tonight??
The puppy, being the grand counselor that it was, licked him in the face.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
The night was somewhat of a relief from the daytime heat, though still warm itself. Instead, it decided to manifest its war on the comfort of men by being unbearably humid, making the sweat accumulated during the day sticky to the touch. This led to Rinnosuke being mildly uncomfortable as he peered through his loop at the last of the remaining precious stones, idly nudging a corgi pup away from the workbench with his foot.
After several muggy moments of examining the flaws of an emerald, the half-youkai leaned back with a sigh. ?It is just too stifling?? he murmured as he fanned himself: he left the collar off, and had since removed his sash and robe, leaving him clad only in a sweat soaked black shirt and pants, but he still felt the oppressive murk of the night heat. Reluctantly, he grasped the bottom of his shirt and lifted up, dragging the clingy garment up his pale, almost frail chest, and over his head, before tossing it to the side, much to the amusement of the random assorted puppies. Unfortunately, his shirt caught hold of his glasses, and he sent them clattering across the ground.
The shopkeeper cursed to himself as he chased after his spectacles, shooing away the canines as they tussled with the discarded garment. He found the glasses near the door, and kneeled to the ground to pick them up when the door opened with a cheerful jingle. He glanced up with his golden eyes, but could only see a cloud of pink, which made him gasp and shuffle for his glasses. When those lenses covered his eyes, he still saw a cloud of pink: however, now he could tell that said cloud had strong, muscular arms crossed over a buff chest, and strong, stoic eyes over a rugged beard of cloud wisps. ?Unzan! You?re here early,? Rinnosuke exclaimed, standing up and feeling self conscious without his shirt. Shyly, he covered his chest with his hands, only for the storm front of manliness to float forward and take his hands.
Unzan seemed to rumble as he gazed at the shopkeeper, who had his head turned from him. No discernable words were heard, but Rinnosuke seemed to understand him. ?I-it?s not that I?m upset, but?? Rinnosuke trailed off as the pink cloud moved closer, bringing with him the scent of rain and wind, and a cooling sensation, welcome in the muggy heat. When Unzan reached up to cup the half-youkai?s jaw, Rinnosuke began to retreat from the cloud. ?N-not now, Unzan?? he stammered as he backed away, Unzan pursuing slowly with a soft look in his stormy eyes.
Unfortunately, Rinnosuke was soon out of room, and found himself backed against a wall. ?Please, Unzan,? he whispered, as the pink cloud pressed him against the wall, trapping him. The litter of puppies had stopped their rough housing to gather and watch in interest, much to the shopkeeper?s embarrassment. Unzan would not take no for an answer, and creeped in closer. The amount of erotic tension was intense in the room, far greater than any love between men and elephants could generate, and there was a thundering noise growing louder in Rinnosuke?s mind as Unzan?s pink lips closed in on his own?
The bell jingled, and the two looked up at the manly, suave voice that had just entered. ?Hello. I have returned, and find myself holding a cake, constructed specifically for you and made with love and perhaps a slight? hint? of choc?? Tenma trailed off, seeing the compromising scene. ?Ah, I see that you have a guest, Rinnosuke.?
Rinnosuke shivered at the sensual, yet accusing tone in the tengu?s voice. ?Tenma, this isn?t what it looks like!? he exclaimed as Unzan turned to face the tengu with as best of a stony look as a man made entirely of weather patterns could possibly have.
?Oh, so you?re saying that I did not find you in a compromising position,? Tenma began, tossing the cake to the side, ?with a rain cloud, ready to do some rather interesting actions despite my belief of our long standing relationship that has included, in the past, hand holding, feet rubbing, paragliding, and quite possibly romantic encounters involving scented bodywash.? As he spoke, Tenma began stalking towards Unzan, meeting him with as best of a stony look as a tengu made entirely of flesh and blood could possibly have. Unzan looked unimpressed, as seen by his crossed arms and stormy complexion.
The pink cloud thundered accusatorily, at Tenma and at Rinnosuke. Rinnosuke only grew pale, as he struggled to explain. ?Unzan, I should have told you, about my previous relationship?? The tengu lord arched an eyebrow.
?Previous? Perhaps you should have informed me when you had arrived from the future, for I was under the impression that our relationship, built on love-filled trust explosions, was, in fact, current.? Unzan rumbled again, and Tenma raised a perfectly proportioned and handsome eyebrow. ?Oh, excuse me, Rinnosuke, while disperse some inclement weather,? he remarked as he pulled out a pair of gloves, made of brown bear fur and still possessing its claws, and put them on his hands. Unzan, in response, uncrossed his arms and held them out forward, in a wrestling pose. This only made him smirk. ?Why don?t look at yourself? Now back to me. Now back at yourself. What are you? A mere puff of a cloud. What am I? The tengu lord with power over the winds. Winds from the fan now in my hand that can disperse you. Now look behind you, there are puppies. Anything is possible when you?re Lord Tenma and not a mere weather anomaly.?
Enraged by the tengu?s boasting, Unzan charged forward to strike, and Tenma pounced with a roar. Battle waged, and Rinnosuke and the puppies watched in horror as claw met fist, wind met more fist, and fist met even more fist.
The battle waged for days, not halting through the night. Youkai huddled in their caves, humans hid in their villages, and girls watched warmly. The battle was immortalized in painting, in song, and in sleazy newsrags developed by certain unscrupulous reporters (and then reported on a week afterwards by other certain unscrupulous reporters), and lived on in the minds of everyone forevermore, no matter how much alcohol they drank to forget it.
(Many thanks to our Mysterious Helper X who wrote this just for the occassion :3 )
As you finish reading, you stand still in shock for a while. You aren't quite sure what you just read about, but the pictures prove that the whole story happened like that just a while ago. You look at Aya again, but she's not gonna wake up anytime soon.
You remember her words. A Special Issue is needed for that story. And it needs to be made right now, before Hatate's rival newspaper gets to it. But with Aya out of the picture, there is only one who can make this special issue....
YOU
Your task is to design a cover page for the Special Issue of the Bunbunmaru Tabloid. The cover page needs to include
a small preview on the article about the story you just read, this will be the cover-story.
It also needs to have
information about other articles that will be in the issue, you want to get people interested so they will buy the issue after all.
Lastly, there needs to be at least one picture to accompany the preview on the main article. If you need a program to edit pictures, I suggest using the free Paint.Net.
This is supposed to be a TABLOID, so pay attention to that. If you want to include some advertisements make sure they don't take up more than about 15% of the page.You may submit the entry in whatever format you see fit. You may continue working with your assistant from the first round for this, but they are not allowed to take the main work off your hands (doubt they'd be willing anyway :V), and you can't choose a new assistant.
The deadline is until the end of the weekend, so time shouldn't be an issue.Have fun~
And lastly a personal note: Since university started off way more busy than I expected and I will be quite busy, I am gonna pass on the position of host for the rest of this challenge to
Purvis. Judging of the second round and a possible third round will all be in his hands.
