Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Hakurei Shrine~ => Patchouli's Scarlet Library => Topic started by: Dead Princess Sakana on May 23, 2010, 10:19:08 PM

Title: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on May 23, 2010, 10:19:08 PM
There are times when you want have an idea to write something, but are not sure.
When you want to know whether an idea or outline is any good, or need help fleshing it out.
I'm sure every writer has experienced that before.

So, since we had a number of topics with only outlines created that were too big for Koakuma's Parlour but didn't quite fit in anywhere else,
enjoy the newly created Aya's Writing Workshop, inspired by Tengukami.

In here all the previous topics on story outlines have been merged together,
and everyone is welcome to present and discuss outlines and ideas here.
Have fun~
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 14, 2010, 10:37:46 AM
Yo ~
I'm sure us amateur writers have lots thing in our heads, but for some reason we couldn't finish our dreams and let them rot in a dark dark place.
Isn't it sad? I mean, it maybe cos of laziness, or some private reason we'd never share, but it's rude to left our ideas like that.

So I make this topic, so people can share their outlines, or unfinished fiction and perhaps someone may want to continue the work. This is like the opposite of the "Request thread" outside, because some outline may ends up in a huge book.

Because you're putting the whole outline here, make sure to put it in spoiler, a brief summary is needed.

Anyway, not sure if the topic is accepted, before Ruro or any higher-ups decide this topic's fate, I'll let mine here.

You know, it's the original Touhou Dark War: Gensokyo is dying, Yukari decided to make a game, where everyone fight each others to death with Mokou, Kaguya, Eirin as supervisors, due to their immortality. However, the cruelty of the youkai is out of control, and something weird is happening afoot.

Day 1:
Yukari invited the elite-tier people to the Mt. Youkai to announce the game.

Day 2:
Aya was found dead in the Bamboo Forest, Remilia was suspected by Eirin.
Kaguya and Eirin went to SDM, and witnessed Meiling's death. Patchouly said they're being attacked by the Yakumo.

Day 3:
Remilia, Flandre, Sakuya found dead, the SDM disappeared and Patchouly was nowhere to be found.
Kaguya and Eirin went to the Hakurei Shrine and informed that they're going to fight against the Moriya.
Eientei was attacked by Momiji, Tewi was confused by the Lunatic Eyes and killed Reisen, and ran off.

Day 4:
Kaguya found Tewi and Mokou, found out Tewi was leading the youkai to attack the Human Village, resulted in Keine's death. Mokou was furious and led Momiji to Eientei.
After the talk, Mokou fought Kaguya and accidentally killed Tewi.

Day 5:
Mokou told Eirin that Akyuu asked them to be the next history recorder before passed away.
Kaguya suffered a great shock after Tewi's death, but still went to Hakurei Shrine.

Day 6:
The Moriya Shrine had Yuugi as their partner, who killed Suika in a fierce 1-on-1 battle.
Kanako killed Marisa after the witch blew Sanae away with her Master Spark.
Reimu was crushed under the steel Onbashira, and Alice was wrapped by Suwako to death.

Day 7:
Mokou joined force with Kaguya and Eirin, wishing to end the war.
They went to the forest under the Youkai Mountain and found the Aku sisters, Hina and Nitori dead.

Day 8:
Kaguya's group met the mourning goddesses, and learnt they wanted to give up.
Kaguya's group and Yuugi fought the goddesses, and Yuugi killed them both.

Day 9:
Eirin thought it's strange for Yuugi to be so bloodthirsty, she and her group secretly follow the oni to the Garden of the Sun.
Here, Yuugi got killed by Yuuka. Before death, Yuugi told everyone that Yukari was holding Satori hostage, and more will come for Yuuka's life.

Day 10:
Yuuka nearly got killed by Utsuho, but Koishi appeared and stopped the bird.
Yukari complained via a gap and burnt Rin alive infront of everyone.
Utsuho got killed by Yuuka before she could do the same.

Day 11:
Kaguya's group went to Mugenkan, joining with Yuuka to fight against Yukari.
Tenshi and Iku appeared in the Hakurei Shrine and found something was still alive in the shrine.
However, before doing anything they were killed by Yukari herself.

Day 12:
Ran asked the Mugenkan group to have the last battle on Youkai Mountain's Peak. She was spared by Eirin after a fight with Mokou.
Yukari escorted Patchouli to a sealed cave, had the witch unseal it and killed her.

Day 13:
Kaguya's group and Yuuka went to the mountain, found an ambush led by Byakuren. The monk was persuaded by Yukari.
Murasa killed Koishi before got butchered by Yuuka, Mokou managed to burn Narzin to ashes but cannot defeat Shou.
Yuuka killed Ichirin and Nue before Byakuren sent her flying out the mountain, making a human-shaped tunnel through the rocks.

Day 14:
Yukari revealed her plan: to awake the Dragon God to break the 4th wall, so she can finally free from ZUN's world.
Mokou, Kaguya were defeated badly, and Byakuren, Shou were killed by the Great Youkai Sage.
Eirin ran to Hakurei Shrine, killed Ran and Chen to release the evil soul of this shrine: Mima.

Day 15:
Mima sent Eirin back to the Youkai Mountain, where Yukari was, and she herself ran off to revive Yuuka.
Yuuka was revived as her strongest self, long hair, winged, everything and rushed to face Yukari.
Eirin didn't fight as she was busy healing her princess. However, Yukari didn't mind, she was waiting for Yuuka.

Day 16:
The two strongest youkai fought from dawn to sunset, with the opponent's heart in her hand, Yukari was now the best of Gensokyo.
Eirin, Kaguya, Mokou fought the tired Yukari, chased her to the foot of the mountain.
Mima appeared, but before she can avenge her students, Yuyuko and Youmu saved Yukari.

Day 17:
Youmu died from the injuries. The duo was chased down again, this time to the Sanzu river.
Shikieiki appeared, and Yukari used Mima's sins to persuade the Judge.
Mima killed Komachi, and was sent to Hell by Shikieiki.
Before Shikieiki judged Yukari, the Dragon God awaken from the blood of the Gensokyo's citizens.
Yuyuko attacked Shikieiki, while Yukari gapped herself to the Dragon.

Day 18:
THIS world was no more./Your ending.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: OkashiiKisei on July 14, 2010, 11:47:07 AM
Are you allowed to change a few things about the main story? Because sweet Shinki the amount of 'Did Not Do The Research' in this is almost painful.

- Gods can't die. They revive every time they get 'slain'. They can only die when no one believes in them anymore, so for Yuugi to kill the deities she had to kill everyone in Gensokyo first.
- Celestials can't permanently die either. They are already dead. 'Spirit' celestials use host to interact with the plain of the living. If you destroy the host nothing happens to the spirit celestial. 'Corporeal' celestials (like Tenshi) have bodies and can be 'killed', but when they are sent to Sanzu they beat the ever loving shit out of the shinigami and then frolic back to Heaven like nothing happened. However, with Yukari's gaphax you can never be sure, so maybe this one is justified.
- Shinigami, as DEATH GODS, obviously can't die either. That would be a paradox. And even if she was killed, where would she end up? Sanzu River of course! In the words of South Park: "Where did you think I would end up? Detroit?"
- Reimu cannot be defeated in combat. Thanks to her ability to 'float between dimensions' she can effectively become invincible. Moriya doesn't stand a chance against her. They would basically hit nothing but thin air. The battle would go on forever. And when Reimu dies the Hakurei Border would break, which would release the youkai. If Yukari really wanted to be free she could have just killed Reimu with gaphax instead of slaughtering everybody. If however the world of Gensokyo is a 'game world' Yukari could just use the 'border of fiction and reality' to jump out of ZUN's computer and become real. There is actually no need for Yukari to do all this.
- Eirin isn't immortal. Inaba of the Moon/Earth confirmed this when Eirin saw a bit of the afterlife when she got strangled by Kaguya with a leek.

I would suggest that anyone who plans to write this to take the above points in account and avoid plotholes. Before you start on this I would suggest to thoroughly research Gensokyo and its inhabitants.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hello Purvis on July 14, 2010, 11:56:35 AM
To be fair, if anyone can kill a god the old fashioned way, it'd be one of the 4 devas.

Also Reimu gets beaten in IN and in 12.3.  And in SWR.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 14, 2010, 11:57:56 AM
- The Moriya's life is the faith of the Youkai Mountain's area, which was wiped out completely by the fight of Nitori vs Hina and when Yuugi rampaged there.
- Yukari can kill the spirits of the Celestial with her ability.
- Shikigami is death, but they can "disappear" by getting blown by a great magic force.
- Reimu cannot use that skill whenever he wants, nor it is a passive skill. In a fight, things happen.
- Yukari needs to call the Dragon God. Since what Reimu is doing is MAINTAIN the boundary. Killing her MIGHT get the boundary collapse, but it's not what definitely happens.
- Seeing the afterlife doesn't mean you can die, also you shouldn't take that manga seriously. Or Kaguya really is a damn useless princess.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: OkashiiKisei on July 14, 2010, 12:44:05 PM
To be fair, if anyone can kill a god the old fashioned way, it'd be one of the 4 devas.

Also Reimu gets beaten in IN and in 12.3.  And in SWR.

Reimu didn't have that power yet in IN. And 10.5 and 12.3 were danmaku games, not a situation of life or death. Reimu doesn't use that ability in danmaku play since it is cheating. However, if she had to fight for real and if her life depended on it she'd access her invincibility and wipe out the threat. Tenshi didn't want to kill anyone. She just wanted someone to fight with. There was no need for Reimu to fight for real. Same goes for every other match in 12.3. It is like Yuyuko's power" she could kill everyone in PCB and everyone in IN save the immortals if she wanted to, but she didn't because she was just playing.


- Reimu cannot use that skill whenever he wants, nor it is a passive skill. In a fight, things happen.
- Seeing the afterlife doesn't mean you can die, also you shouldn't take that manga seriously. Or Kaguya really is a damn useless princess.

Okay, the others are justified, but Reimu can access her invincibility whenever she wants. She put a time limit on it for play, but if she wants to she can remove the time limit and keep using her invincibility endlessly. She KNOWS this is a life or death situation. She KNOWS people are dying and everything is going to hell. She KNOWS she needs to set things straight. She KNOWS the goddesses will go batshit once Sanae dies. Reimu isn't idiotic. She would have activated her invincibility before hand and smack down the goddesses by herself without putting Marisa or Alice in danger. Reimu had all the time to prepare for the battle, and there was a huge gap in time between Sanae's death and Reimu's death. Reimu could have activated her invincibility in a mere second once she sees Sanae going down. I repeat: Reimu isn't idiotic. Not only that, Reimu can summon the power of the Gods to kick ass and take names. Again, she could have summoned the power of an even mightier god than Kanako and Suwako to kick reason to the curb, like Amaterasu or Susano-O. She had all the time to prepare. Reimu would also try to end this battle quickly, so she would pull out Fantasy Heaven once the battle starts. You cannot let the Moriyas kill Reimu in such a pathetic way. Almost no one can defeat Reimu in a straight forward life-or-death battle at full power. You need to either kill her in a sneak attack (like kill her in her sleep. Just anything but a straight forward battle) where she can't prepare or let Yukari, Yuugi, Shikieiki or some other uber character with an 'I Win' button kill her.
Inaba of the Moon/Earth is an official work, and if you see the afterlife that means your spirit can drift away from your body. Since an immortal's soul is stuck to the mortal plain forever they would never get to see the afterlife.
And don't forget that entire 'poison incident' in Ghost Team's ending in IN.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 14, 2010, 12:57:10 PM
- Having ultimate defense doesn't mean she also have ultimate attack. Also, her best friend, Marisa, died in front of her.
- None knows how strong the Hakurei Gods are, to defeat the one who won the Great Suwa War is not that easy.
- And your Reimu makes me laugh alot. She is not that strong, despite having that "invincible" spell. Yuuka can kill her with 1 single punch, don't even try to put Fantasy Heaven in, because the flower has "ultimate magic that even ZUN doesn't know about".
- The immorality of the Lunarian here is how the soul doesn't fade away, no matter what happen to the body. Yuyuko is also immortal, just that her body is sealed under the tree, so she doesn't have the freedom as the Lunarian.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hello Purvis on July 14, 2010, 01:07:14 PM
Being able to slip out of dimensions isn't almighty. You have to be able to trigger it. Reimu is hella hard, but not almighty. Not everything is just a clash of DnD stats.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: OkashiiKisei on July 14, 2010, 01:20:13 PM
- Having ultimate defense doesn't mean she also have ultimate attack. Also, her best friend, Marisa, died in front of her.
- None knows how strong the Hakurei Gods are, to defeat the one who won the Great Suwa War is not that easy.
- And your Reimu makes me laugh alot. She is not that strong, despite having that "invincible" spell. Yuuka can kill her with 1 single punch, don't even try to put Fantasy Heaven in, because the flower has "ultimate magic that even ZUN doesn't know about".
- The immorality of the Lunarian here is how the soul doesn't fade away, no matter what happen to the body. Yuyuko is also immortal, just that her body is sealed under the tree, so she doesn't have the freedom as the Lunarian.

- Having ultimate defense does mean you can't be defeated. Reimu might not pack much of a punch, but if she continues to attack relentlessly she will eventually wear her enemy down. For example: one bee sting isn't bad, but hundreds of bee stings in quick succession are deadly. Reimu's first shots can be shrugged off, but eventually you'll start to get tired and weaken under her endless barrage of attacks. In the end you will succumb to her endless assault. That is, however, if she chooses to only use her normal power. If she uses the power of the Gods she packs a lot more punch.
- Reimu isn't limited to just the Hakurei God(s). Otherwise her power would be described as 'power to summon the Hakurei God' instead of 'power to summon the Gods'. Reimu has the exact same power as Yorihime, who could summon any God, not just the ones she's faithful to. Yorihime only needed to read up about a god to summon them. Reimu could do the same. She could summon the power of the Okami to take on Kanako and Suwako. And even if she could only summon the Hakurei God, said Hakurei God could take on Yorihime, the one who (quite annoyingly) wiped the floor with the likes of Yukari and Suika. I think that 'proves' the Hakurei God can take on Suwako and Kanako.
- Reimu was revealed to be one of the strongest of Gensokyo once she unlocked her power to summon the gods, hinted to be stronger than even Yorihime. Besides, if Reimu wasn't strong she wouldn't be able to do her job well, would she? However, Yuuka isn't a slouch either, and can indeed defeat Reimu easily (at least before Reimu activates her invincibility, but Reimu might die of starvation before she finally manages to exhaust Yuuka).
- Yuyuko is dead, which quite different from immortal. Immortality means 'not dying or not being subject to death', but Yuyuko is essentially already 'dead'. She doesn't have a corporeal body anymore like Kaguya or Mokou. You don't call Kaguya or Mokou 'ghosts' either. As a ghost she is actually superior to immortals/Lunarians since her she can't be damaged and can thus be safe from pain, something which the immortals Kaguya and Mokou still suffer from. Everything can fade through her when she wants to. Yuyuko can only pass on if the Saigyou Ayakashi blooms.

Maybe we shouldn't let this discussion go too far. We might get in trouble with the higher-ups otherwise.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 14, 2010, 01:34:46 PM
- The attack of Hakurei Reimu is nothing to Yasaka Kanako and Moriya Suwako. And zero multiples to whatever is still zero.
- Reimu's ability is "Summon Gods", and that's pretty much what every miko can do, however, she can have the strongest power if she summon the god of her shrine. That's what all this summoning gods about, because the Hakurei gods will definitely help Hakurei Reimu the most. Gods are not Reimu's servant, summoning is one thing, having them help her is another.
- You cannot use the bridge formula in battles, who said Yukari and Suika could take on Kanako and Suwako?
- No, immortality is "always being in his/her world with absolute existence, which can be seen, felt, touched by every other creatures in that world". Yuyuko is already dead, but her soul is still contacted with the world, thus she acquired "immortality". You can't say she is dead when she is eating your food. Or your viewpoint is different from me.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 14, 2010, 02:52:32 PM
I'll state this:
As a fanfic, it completely depends on the author, whatever they want, you should respect it and do not question. The author can discuss the comments and they can ignore them. Therefore, even if they make Cirno OHKO everyone else we should not dig too deep on it. Remember, this is but a fan-fiction anyway.
Hoping to see more great, big outline.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on July 14, 2010, 03:52:12 PM
As a fanfic, it completely depends on the author, whatever they want, you should respect it and do not question. The author can discuss the comments and they can ignore them. Therefore, even if they make Cirno OHKO everyone else we should not dig too deep on it. Remember, this is but a fan-fiction anyway.
Hoping to see more great, big outline.
Exactly.
I don't want to see any disrespectful behaviour towards any author just because their fiction disregards 'official' material or whatever. Each author creates their own version of the world they write about and it entirely up to them how they set the rules and bounds of this world.

That said, carry on~   :D
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on July 14, 2010, 08:19:39 PM
Meh

Touhou Monster Hunter
- A short series involving Reimu leading a rag-tag group of hunters who are set to take down the 'Kamijuu of Gensokyo' which are basically Monster-fied versions of Touhou bosses. Reimu's the leader of the party and the miko of the group, Marisa is the mage (or rather Magic Knight), Tohji Shirainu (a male Inugami), is the grappler, Shou is the warrior and Ellen is the healer.

[-Locations-]

- Autumn Wildlands: An odd forest that always bears the color of Autumn. The color of the forest is actually the work of the Triffid Gods, Shizuha Aki and Minoriko Aki, the both of them altering the forest to suit their tastes and likes. Even so, the monsters dwelling within the woods, don't seem to mind much and continue on their merry ways. The "Aki Sisters" (as they've been come to be called) can be found within the Shrine of Harvest located within the heart of the woods. The followers of the Aki Sisters give up food as a form of offering to them, some may even sacrifice non believers to them. In realiity the Akis aren't malicious Kamijuu, and are simply taking advantage of what their followers are doing for them.

- Goukyou Desert: Also known as the Wastelands of the Great Beyond, this vast desert stretches beyond the Autumn Wildlands and surrounds the formiddible Youkai Mountains that is said to be home to the Snake Goddess; Kanako. Somewhere within this desert are the buried ruins of a temple dedicated to the God of Curses, but it has yet to be uncovered.

- Youkai Mountains: Vast mountains that are located beyond the Goukyou Desert. The Tengu reside somewhere within these mountains.

- Tomb of Misfortune: The sunken ruins of a great temple that was built in dedication to the Goddess of Ill-Fortune, Hina. It is said that she once ruled over a select group of youkai followers who worshipped her because she 'absorbs' hexes into her being and thus keeps those close to her safe from harm. However, after taking in so many curses...a vile plauge was unleashed upon her cult and wiped them out, the temple then sank below the sands, and entombed the despairing goddess in her sadness.

- Sunken Vista of Orochi: An underground jungle that was once home to the Lost City of Orochi. The city and the surrounding wilderness sunk belo the mountain during the divine battle for power between Kanako and Suwako. The path here is treacherous and has become the resting place for all adventureres who have sought to fight Kanako. The Lesser God, Sanae Kochiya resides here by order of Kanako, her followers are the civilians of Orochi who had been devastated by the battle between Kanako and Suwako and thus sought out Sanae for protection. They see outsiders as defilers to their God and viciously attack any one they see as foreign.

-Snake's Pike: The tallest mountain peak in the Youkai Mountain region located in the Gouyou Desert. This unforgiving crag is home to a cornicopia of Lamia that are fiercely loyal to their reigning queen, Kanako, who is located at the very top of Snake's Pike. One can easily get here if they survive the dangerosu path through the Lost Vista.

- Ancient Ruins of Yasaka: Ancient ruins of the shrine that houses the powerful Snake Goddess, Kanako. Located at the peak of the Hanyou Mountain, few have ever made it to the ruins themselves, and even then, those who have were swiftly killed and devoured by the goddess. It is believed that the ruins themselves were actually a shrine built for the Toad Goddess, Suwako, but  Kanako took over the shrine after besting the former god and thus took control of the temple.

- Kero Kero Valley: A rather dense jungle located just beyond Snake's Pike. while not that dangerous to get to (the path that leads to the valley bypasses all of the dangers Snake's Pike holds), it is still regarded as rather dangerous (perhaps even more dangerous than Snake's Pike), the Kappa reside happily here and are said to help those who managed to escape the Snake Goddess (who will not venture down to this area). Further inside the valley is the Palace of the Toad, the new home of the Frog Goddess; Suwako.

- Palace of the Toad King: A large ancient palace that was once home to a king who worshipped Kanako but was later taken by Suwako and renamed in her favor, the former king was said to have been overthrown and sacrificed to the goddess by the citizens who saw Suwako as more fitting ruler. The palace is all but submerged in the tropical lake that surrounds it, but this seems to be the perfect living conditions for Suwako. The goddess herself isn't malicious by any extent and doesn't mind visitors...so long as they do not speak the name of Kanako in her precense.

- Underworld of Fimblevinter: A colassal ice cavern located within the snowy regions in the northern area of Gensokyo. The frigid tempretures here act as a natrual barrier to those seeking the treasure hidden within these bone chilling caverns. Alongside this, are the fearsome Yeti monsters, whom can only be found within the Underworld of Fimblevinter. Located deep down within the coldest depths of Fimblevinter is the den of the Polar Queen; Letty Whiterock. Although Letty herself is no god, the Yeti see her as such and devote themselves to her. Cirno is Letty's closest ally and is in command of the Yeti who live near Letty.

- Land of Agni: A volcanic wasteland that used to be the other half of the Lost Bamboo Forest, however after the Pheonix Mokou awoke from her slumbe, the forest was engulfed in a volcanic blaze and reduced to what exists there now. Very few youkai can really live here now, only the Ifrit are able to make their nest in this highly volcanic area. The greatest treasure here, can only be found on the body of Mokou, the pheonix's own feathers are as priceless as they are powerful. Selling just one of them is enough to warrant a fortune in return...even so, those who sought her feathers are only given death as a consolation. Somewhere within this wasteland, lies the Gate of Hellfire, the only know pathway that leads to Lord Utsuho's lair; Underpalace of Black Sun.

-Tsukijin Crash Site: A large space station that crashed to earth into the Bamboo Forest long ago. The Youkai Rabbits, startled by the crash went to investigate only to become ensnared within the grasp of the Lunarians and their Moon Rabbit. To keep their existance hidden, the aliens sought to rebuild their residence underground and using the rabbits, they did just that. Many of the known Earth Rabbits stay away from those who are affiliated with the aliens, because they know they will be captured and brainwashed to assist them in their needs...already the oldest and most trusted youkai rabbit; Tewi Inaba, has began helping them...although some believe she is merely leading them along. The psionic extraterristial, Eirin Yagokoro seems to be the most active of the group, her superior is kept in near constant stasis deep within the alien base.

I still might write this though, I only really posted it as a way to show off the outline I had for it. The idea is appealing, but I'll have to hold off until I finish somethings first.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 15, 2010, 01:49:09 AM
The Dark History of Touhou 1: Yakumo Yukari
- My theory about Yukari's background. I'm writing it now, but not gonna finish yet due to the continuation of Touhoumon, so, if anyone interests, feel free to take this.

The Countess Hearn, wife of the leader of a half-youkai-half-human noble family in UK, gave birth to a beautiful child, named Violetta Hearn.
In the congratulating party, there was the main rival of the Count: Ulick Norman Owen Scarlet, leader of the Vampire, who used the reason of "Finding the Successor of the Brunestud" to gather a great army to wage war with the human.
Violetta revealed her power as "gapping through space" and became a laughing stock of everyone, instantly labelled as a "third class youkai".

In her teen, Violetta went to the youkai school and met Layla Primsriver, who refused to go to Hogwarts for some reason. Layla was a modest, but naughty student, together with Violetta they messed up the school real bad. They became friends and Layla taught Violetta much about how to complicate simple stuffs, which honed Violetta's gapping ability to "beyond imagination".

Because of sickness, Layla passed away not long after they had their 17th birthday party. Mourning over her friend's death, Violetta ignored everything but studying dark magic, in order to bring Layla back. She found the possibility in the East.

At that time, a war broke out, and the Hearn Alliance defeated the Scarlet army with the death of the Count himself, the vampire was being hunted for years after that. Violetta, despite unreasonable fighting and her father's dream of peace, traveled to Japan. She then changed her name to "Yakumo Yukari".

There was a dark time in Japan also, when the youkai beasts were fighting each others to death, and Yukari came exactly at the time of the final battle: Kyuubi against Orochi. Yukari tried to kill both, but failed miserably and almost died. She was saved by a passing girl, who turned out to be the head daughter of a youkai-extermination family, Saigyouji Yuyuko.

Yuyuko had a very strong power, which forced her to be alone of all time, the only one that was with her was Konpaku Youki, a ghost swordmaster.
Together, Yukari and Yuyuko killed Orochi and captured Kyuubi. The nine-tailed fox was then brain-washed and became Yukari's shikigami, named Yamuko Ran.

Yuyuko had to sacrifice herself for the sake of her family, which was not approved by Yukari. A fight broke out in the backyard of the Saigyouji, Yukari killed most of the family, gapped Youki to another dimension but failed to save her friend. This event awakened Yukari's true power, and allowed her to bring the whole land to the Netherworld, where souls can form shape. In there, Yukari united with Yuyuko once again.

One day, while having a moon-viewing, Yukari asked Yuyuko if the moon was beautiful. Yuyuko said yes, and she joked that it'd be nice if Yukari can gift her the Moon. Yukari took it too seriously and gather an army, advanced to the Lunar Capital.

The Wakatsukihime at that time were too young to face a powerful youkai, and their leader was gone to Earth, for the tradition of letting the new-born princess travel around the Great Blue Planet. An urgent message was sent, and the leader had to hide the new-born princess in a bamboo forest, then got back to the Moon.

After a month of war, Yagokoro Eirin outwitted Yakumo Yukari completely and drew the youkai back to Earth. Yukari, too shamed of this defeat, didn't go back to Hakugyoukuro but instead traveled around Japan, finding her aim in life.

At that time, the youkai in Japan was being hunted by human, reminding Yukari of her family and her past, therefore she decided to rescue them all.
Joining force with the Hakurei, Yukari helped creating the Great Hakurei Boundary and isolated a huge land to be home of youkai, named Gensokyo.

Thus, the game began...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ふねん1 on October 03, 2010, 04:34:48 AM
I've been wanting to write a story for Touhou for a while. A few ideas came to mind months ago, and I've been organizing bits and pieces of it since then, but only recently did I actually get around to writing. I don't have a complete flow of events solidified yet (just the direction), and I haven't chosen a name for the story, but if no one minds, I was hoping I could leave this first chapter here as a preview. I'm probably not as experienced with writing stories as most others here, so I can't even say I'm totally familiar with my own writing style (only with what I've done for school papers and such). I know I'll nitpick my way to improvement as I continue with this, but I would love some feedback from you in the meantime.

Ryuu, this is the same story I told you about in IRC that one time, so here's that first scene I mentioned.

*********************************

Late autumn always felt dreadful to her. The trees shed their host of colorful leaves, with only the dull brown hue of their barks filling in the surroundings. The mountain air grew colder, whisking away the warmth from her skin with even the gentlest breeze. The looming clouds threatened to bring the first snowfall of the season, which would conceal what beauty remained in Gensokyo. The shifting weather weighed heavily in her heart, as the winter's chill would relentlessly torture her for months.

Tough times were ahead, but she would endure as before. A mild sigh brought her mind into focus, and she grew prepared to tackle this day. Adhering to her routine, the girl reached for the small wooden broom next to the front door. Her dark red eyes tilted to the large crate on her right, in the vain hope that someone had stumbled across her shrine and left an offering in the night. She raised her free hand to the red bow in her black hair and gave it a brief tug before opening the door. An icy gust greeted the girl as she stepped onto the porch, yet the air felt as cold as it did inside. It was something she had lived with for years ? the old-fashioned shrine could not ward of the cold, and it never received enough money to fund anything beyond its normal worshiping services. The state of the shrine mirrored the misery of the autumn weather. Yet here its shrine maiden stood, prepared to sweep the balcony clean of the crumpled leaves that would displease and discourage her sparse visitors from donating. It would not take as much effort with the wind acting up, though the girl prayed it would deliver no additional debris either.

A few modest brushes cleared the space by the door, when another gust blew from the side, ruffling her red dress. The chill crawled up her arms, so she tightened the upper bands of her white, detached sleeves to ease the bite of the wind. Before she could resume sweeping, a soft snore caught her attention. A glance to the left confirmed whom she expected ? a small girl, the shrine's "houseguest", laid on the porch, her head and arms sprawled over the edge. Anxious to finish cleaning, the shrine maiden decided it best to wake her visitor. She walked over, removing the leaves in her path, and tapped the sleeping girl's left shoe with the stick of the broom, garnering no response. Impatient, she twice struck the girl's leg. The shrine maiden did not want her guest to give her much trouble on this already miserable day.

The sleeping girl shifted and moaned as she woke. Her head reeled upward almost as quickly as she had reeled back into consciousness, and her thin, shackled arms supported her diminutive frame as she sat upright. She brought her right hand to her long, ginger hair and brushed it between the two brown horns protruding from her head. The visitor remained groggy, and her eyes squinted as she humored her host with the usual greeting: "Morning already?"

"Yes, Suika," the shrine maiden stoically answered. "Don't get too comfortable where you are. I have to clean there soon."

"Okay," the guest replied. She rubbed her right eye in an effort to ward off her sleepiness, but she knew the shrine maiden's requests had to come before all else. Suika swiped her white, sleeveless blouse as she moved her arm down to the floor, and she bent her legs inward, being careful not to catch them inside her long, purple skirt. A forceful shove lifted her to her feet in a flash, the system of chains on her waist clanking as she stood. The rapid movement proved costly for the small girl, as she grew dizzy and briefly stumbled on her left foot, almost ramming the shrine maiden. She soon regained her balance and breathed a light sigh of relief.

In spite of this episode, Suika rushed for a decorated purple canister on her waist, flinging it to her mouth in a heartbeat. Several gulps finally brought a smile to her face, and she held the container to her host. "Drink, Reimu?"

"No thanks," the shrine maiden declined. "It's too early for someone like me to have any alcohol." Reimu was familiar with her guest's antics, so she refused to let them impede her tasks more than they already had. She turned around and continued sweeping the balcony, silently cursing a gust of wind that dirtied Suika's sleeping spot.

"Ah, isn't this weather lovely?" Suika praised, hoping to strike up a conversation. "It reminds me so much of home."

Reimu did not hesitate in her duties, but felt that a dose of small talk would not hurt. "Your home is underground, and you're not a human like I am. Your tastes are just too different. I already want summer back. Or at least early autumn."

"But you're lucky," Suika countered. "You got this great mountain air to keep you company. It's not nearly as fresh in the Ancient City." The small girl joyously took a deep breath, earning a jealous stare from the shrine maiden.

"I only wish I found it as comfortable as you do. But even if you took my place for one winter, you'd never understand my position. You're a youkai." Reimu was nearing the end of the porch, and she was pleased to see her work going somewhere, even as Suika conversed with her.

However, what sense of satisfaction she possessed was short-lived. As Reimu swept the last of the leaves from her side of the balcony, a sharp jolt sprung from below. She made the connection instantly, and she gasped in horror when she realized what was happening ? it was an earthquake! She dropped her broom and clasped tightly to a nearby post before the shaking changed directions. Everything rocked back and forth, though not strongly enough to throw the shrine maiden off her feet. Instead, Reimu fell into a greater state of turmoil.

"No, not again! My shrine!" she exclaimed in a panic. Every motion taunted her, stirring up painful memories of the last earthquake that struck her shrine. The odds-and-ends inside the building rattled, and the framework creaked under the stress. But Reimu could not bring herself to let go of the support ? even if the shrine came crashing down on her, the very thought of such a disaster left her paralyzed. She could only pray for the earthquake to end, and to end now.

To Reimu's delight, the ground settled in a short time. The girl could stand unhindered, and the grip she held on the beam loosened. The only thing that calmed her nerves was the sight of her shrine, intact and stable. No doubt, it suffered some damage inside, but such minor hardly mattered. The building had dodged a bullet in Reimu's eyes, and she felt nothing but relief. She did not need any more reasons to concern over her dilapidated shrine.

Reimu managed to collect herself, her heavy breaths giving way to elated sighs. A cute squeal snapped her from the trance, and her attention fell to the shrine's houseguest. Suika sat by the door, arms spread in the air and exhilaration written all over her face. "Let's do that again!" she cried.

It felt like a sadistic joke, yet Reimu fought back a chuckle. She would not have forgiven her visitor if Suika were anyone else. "My workload for the day has been doubled, and here you are, treating an earthquake like a walk among the cherry blossoms," she quipped. "It amazes me how youkai can approach things so differently from humans."

Suika could tell that immense pressure threatened to crush her friend. The shrine had fallen victim to earthquakes in the past, and from what Suika observed, Reimu did not take to the collapses very well. The least she could do was alleviate her host's tense nature.

"Reimu", she began in her best attempt at a soothing voice, "moumantai."

Perhaps she failed in her choice of words ? her counsel garnered a befuddled expression from the shrine maiden. Such a phrase held little significance when no one else understood its meaning, or knew that the word existed in the first place. Suika would not let the gaffe stop her, however.

"You worry too much," she said as she brought herself to her feet. "No lousy earthquake can stop someone like you. Any incident is a bigger threat. Besides, we can always rebuild the shrine, just as if it was never destroyed. Nothing to fret about here," she confidently concluded.

Reimu grinned on the inside, as she admired the girl's effort to lift her spirits. But it wasn't just the building collapsing that haunted her thoughts. The cost of remaking her shrine left her in tremendous hardship, and it became a small miracle to maintain her services for another month. It was a very real crisis, and it was something that only she could handle.

"I appreciate your help, Suika, but it runs deeper than that," Reimu courteously replied. She sighed and looked down sympathetically at her houseguest. "I'm sorry. You'd never understand my position. You're a youkai."

A cold breeze drifted across the balcony, reminding the shrine maiden of her unfinished chores. Reimu promptly turned for her broom ? the leaves would not blow themselves away, after all, and the earthquake created its own inconveniences. Winter lay right around the corner, and Reimu already sensed that it would be rough, but she would endure as before.

Suika struggled to revive the conversation, so to pass the time she reached for the purple jar on her waist. She sipped her sake and once again held it out to her host. "Drink, Reimu?"

*********************************

Again, I want feedback. Tell me where I can improve, or if you're even remotely interested in this story. :V I'm of the position to save posting the whole thing for when it's completely done, even though the convention in fanfiction appears to be "write and post as you go". Me and my perfectionism want to avoid things like major plotholes, you see. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this preview.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on October 03, 2010, 04:44:16 AM
"Reimu", she began in her best attempt at a soothing voice, "moumantai."
/me froths at the mouth.

Apart from that sudden blast from the past-- I find it interesting that Reimu just can't seem to get over the fact that Suika is a youkai. She also speaks a bit... formally, shall we say (and Suika even more so, but I guess we can just chalk that up to high alcohol tolerance). I'm much more interested in the fact that Reimu cannot forget the line dividing herself and youkai. :3 Please continue!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MysTeariousYukari on October 03, 2010, 05:03:13 AM
^_^ I like, I like! One question though, what does moumantai mean? It sounds familiar, but that's it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on October 03, 2010, 05:25:18 AM
One question though, what does moumantai mean? It sounds familiar, but that's it.
Terriermon's catch phrase, from Digimon. In his words, it means "No worries! Relax! Take it easy!"
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: trancehime on October 03, 2010, 06:32:38 AM
^_^ I like, I like! One question though, what does moumantai mean? It sounds familiar, but that's it.

Well, Ruro already said what it meant, but it's actually just a general Cantonese phrase.

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ryuu on October 03, 2010, 05:06:14 PM
I am glad I urged you to post this.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on October 03, 2010, 07:14:38 PM
It's nice to see something besides slurred drunken Suika or apathetic bitchy Reimu. Although, as mentioned, the attention given to Reimu's 'Youkai/Human' distinction is a bit odd, given that most of the people in Gensokyo that she normally associates with are Youkai to begin with. Despite this, though, it gives us a tool for looking into the psyche of Reimu and whatnot.

This could end up going somewhere, and I wanna see it when it gets there.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ふねん1 on October 03, 2010, 08:10:20 PM
It's nice to see something besides slurred drunken Suika or apathetic bitchy Reimu. Although, as mentioned, the attention given to Reimu's 'Youkai/Human' distinction is a bit odd, given that most of the people in Gensokyo that she normally associates with are Youkai to begin with. Despite this, though, it gives us a tool for looking into the psyche of Reimu and whatnot.
It's something that I believe is referenced only on occasion in canon, but youkai are said to think and approach things differently than humans (more sources would help though). I know SA is one example: your various youkai partners dismiss what happened with Utsuho when they find out Kanako's intentions for using her, while Reimu continues complaining about how everyone else handled the whole situation (sending her to Hell and such). The only other example I can think of right now is Alice, who according to PMiSS is "considerate towards humans and still behaves as one of them would," but only because she is young for a youkai (suggesting that her behavior is not the norm). I know it seems kind of like a loose connection all around, but I want to say it's something that isn't explored or discussed as much among fans.

In the context of my story, Suika is the oni that enjoys drinking and partying, and she comes and goes from places as she pleases. She's a (relatively) long-lived, supernatural being who would have no need to concern over things like money, just personal satisfaction (and her position as a youkai lets her get away with it). Reimu is the opposite, since she has duties toward maintaining the Great Boundary. And admit it, being confined to a building that gets really cold during the winter would not be enjoyable. Youkai are much tougher, and someone like Suika would just drink it off. I might edit how much Reimu focuses on the differences in this chapter, but it's still something that I plan to touch on throughout the story.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on October 03, 2010, 08:47:25 PM
There are also a number of places in the games where Reimu says that youkai are her foes, simply for being youkai.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: 日巫子 on October 03, 2010, 09:19:13 PM
I thought Reimu's whole "youkai=enemy" thing was pretty interesting, too, when she hangs out with them herself.  I don't think I've seen any fanworks delving into this topic, so I'll be watching this thread :3
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ふねん1 on October 05, 2010, 03:18:12 PM
As a reminder, this thread is more of a preview to the story rather than the main topic I will update it in. Unless I feel like writing it is taking too long, I'll stick to waiting until it's finished before posting, and most likely I'll make a new topic (because no matter what it'll be a fair amount of time until the next updates). Thanks to the feedback I got so far, I now have a few ideas for how to edit this chapter. But I would certainly like some more. I know there's not much of the story to work with right now, but is there anything else I could fix? Any descriptions that could be described better? Any portions that flowed a bit awkwardly (compared to the rest)?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chibi-Reaper on October 15, 2010, 02:26:45 AM
As she settles into Gensokyo, the land of fantasy, Sanae's ability to interpret the difference between fantasy and reality starts to blur a little. One day, shortly after the unveiling of Suwako's Hisou Tensoku giant robot thing, she decides that obviously she has suddenly become the lead of a sentai anime. Realizing that she has so far fallen significantly short of the requirements of such a role, she immediately designs a costume and mask, then goes out to browbeat/persuade various others into joining her Struggle against Evil. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Yukari is more than amused at this turn of events and is perfectly willing to play along as the Big Bad. She immediately goes out to browbeat/persuade various others into joining her Evil Collective of Evil. Things go from there.

Aaaand, that's all I have for this idea. So, uh, throw details at me, I guess?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 15, 2010, 05:55:50 PM
well, first you need to decide the type of mooks the "good" guys will be facing. Regular fairies that can be beaten with a few punches, or fairies that are hit with a grow spell so the heroes will need a mecha to fight them?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chibi-Reaper on October 15, 2010, 11:41:23 PM
At some point, there will be a Hisou Tensoku versus Neo Goliath Doll showdown. Do not doubt this. With any luck, someone with either pixel art skills or a scanner will draw it. I have neither, sadly.

I was more looking for arguments on who should/shouldn't be dragooned into this, and on which side. Alice is already marked up for Yukari, specifically so the above scene can happen, but aside from that I'm open to suggestions, but would prefer that power levels stay mostly even. Like, if Mokou goes to one side, Kaguya or Eirin would probably have to go to the other, just for example.

On the other hand, not averse to Team (9) versus the Ex-Boss squad or something similar, either. I can probably work with that.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 16, 2010, 06:27:53 AM
hmmm, I keep having the image of the technological Gensokians as some sort of quirky boss squad or something... you talking about Mokou suddenly make me think of Kotohime drop kicking Mokou and keeping her down with Mokou not really understanding what's going on.

... actually, I'm not thinking straight, need some sleep.

Reimu on the role of the Green Ranger riding a Giant Suika to save the team?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on October 16, 2010, 08:06:42 AM
So anyway this plot bunny wont leave me alone.  The idea of shinji/okuu, gendo/satori, Yui/Koishi.

Okuu as transvestite.

Someone eating the sun.

But I was thinking that it needs a little bit more, so whats a third thing I should fuse in?  I don't want to use lovecraft, but otherwise pretty much anything is fair game.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chibi-Reaper on October 16, 2010, 09:31:13 PM
The Angels are Kaiju. Godzilla, Mothra, etc. Okuu fights them from the cockpit of a mechanized Godzilla/Bahamut.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 16, 2010, 10:19:59 PM
well, as I said, the technological girls would like to join, if only to show their stuff is just as good as magic and spiritualism.

I can easily see Rika and Asakura being brought in with the hopes of beating down that miko, with Yukari not bothering to specify which miko is going to be the leader. Maybe convince Reimu later so Rika and Asakura don't abandon the project?

Hmm, I supposed Sanae's first allies would be either Tengu or Nitori. You know, not having to go that far away to get her teammates.

in the role of the big guy, you could have Mokou, Okuu or one of the Oni?
Mokou as a glass tank that respawns right away? ... then again, maybe Cirno with Nekokayou's Hulk styled speech? Cirno Smash Puny "whatever"

in the smart guy role, obvious choices would be Patchy or Nitori. Obviously, it's not going to be them... Marisa! She's book smart enough

Lancer, hmm, Satori? I mean, there are many sarcastic jerks there, but I find Satori's just so nice. I always imagine her delivering in perfect deadpan.

The Chick, Rinnosuke. Akyuu is so totally in the dark side.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on October 17, 2010, 08:41:39 AM
So. Even though we had a spy-themed topic for the WWC a challenge or two back, I've had an idea since then but never put enough thought into it to actually follow up on it and put it to writing.

Sakuya would be the primary character, the titular spy/secret agent, and the plot would be centered around Remilia's Readings of Fate - dossiers that she's run up on all the major players in Gensokyo with her ability - have been stolen from the Voile. Of course, Marisa would be suspected at first, but she'd be quickly investigated because 1) it wasn't her, so she wasn't expecting to be investigated and 2) thusly prepared to defend against an interrogation.

In the course of the story, without giving away too many of the details, Sakuya will have ended up infiltrating a compound. Unfortunately, said compound doesn't actually have enough people attributed to it to have their own casted-security force, so I was gonna draw on other people to make up for it.

The thing that's been holding me back the most, aside from this hodgepodge collection of characters making it look like Super Smash Brothers Gensokyo, is how well I could fit music into it.

Would a musically-timed story be a worthwhile endeavour? That is to say, if I were to supply a link to a song for a scene, would it be worth it considering not everyone reads at the same speed? I have a fair idea of how to pull this off as well as I can - either, short songs, or spaced out far enough that the first one is guaranteed to be ended before the next one starts, or both - but don't really know how well it'll be received. Any recommendations?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on October 17, 2010, 01:28:17 PM
I think it's a fine idea to include music links for different parts of the story, in that readers can choose to skip them if they want. I say that because I personally can't read things and listen to music at the same time.

Having said that, yeah, I think it might add an atmosphere to the piece. Songs tend to invoke emotions in people, so if what you're going for is to have the emotion of that song match the mood of the story, increasing the intensity of what you want the reader to feel when reading it, it could certainly work. The only worry I'd have is how much importance you give to the music as a part of the story. Gone too far, it becomes a little gimmicky (L. Ron Hubbard released an album to be played while reading Battlefield Earth, for example), but done right, it could be a fine enough atmosphere enhancer.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 17, 2010, 02:51:14 PM
that would be hard to do. If you give music to be played on the side, you will have problems with people reading at different speeds; hell, when I was learning English, my reading speed was horrible.

One sure way to "fix" that, is having sort of a web animated comic, like those posted over the tube. That way you can provide enough length for the dialogs while ensure the music won't be playing longer than needed. It could be done with some basic skills in Flash
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on October 17, 2010, 04:49:31 PM
Basic skills in Flash that I lack :v

I'll figure something out. I don't normally put things to writing until I've had a looooot of time to hammer out all the kinks and have a good revised copy ready to go.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: theshirn on October 18, 2010, 04:11:53 AM
I'm going to do something unconventional, if not out-and-out frowned upon, and discuss a story idea that I had...

...that is not related to Touhou.

Please put down the torches and pitchforks.

Anyway.  The idea I have is somewhere between either a series of books or a game, it can really go either way.  Essentially, it's about a low-ranked officer of the army of a kingdom at war; the kingdom is losing this war, and badly.  Somewhere, somehow, this character forms a pact with a demon and is basically possessed.  This character then begins, with his newfound powers, to turn the fight around, winning victory after victory and pushing the invaders back.  This character rises in prestige and fame, making his way eventually to general of the army.  As this happens, though, he also has to deal with the demon - the two work in tandem more often than not, but sometimes the demon goes too far or takes control at inopportune moments.  Eventually, his very personality starts becoming corrupted, mixing towards a point where the two are largely indistinguishable anymore.

The end of book 1 or this character's story mode basically has him raising the crown onto his head and uttering the line "The king is dead, long live the king" before smiling, a slim, almost unnoticeable, and absolutely terrifying smile.

I started thinking in terms of the next book or characters stories revolving around all the people who gather together to oppose him and the cataclysmic war that results...but then I realized that this sounds almost exactly like Weis and Hickman's Sovereign Stone trilogy.  Massive sadface ensued.

However, I still have a couple ideas of where to go with this.  For one, when talking about it with a friend, we discussed what happens to the character afterwards.  The one question I had is: Is he redeemed?

The answer we came to, and one I really like: Kinda.

He realizes at one point what's happening to him.  Had he realized this immediately, he might have sought to expunge the demon totally.  By the time he realizes it, though, he's already begun changing, and so does his plan.  Instead, he searches for a way to expel the demon...but keep its powers for himself.  Eventually, I think, he will succeed, leaving behind a seriously hardened, badass character, wielding demonic might, still king of his country, but now acting entirely on his own agenda.  He could become a serious world power; hardened, cynical, a blend of everything he's experienced to that point.  (And hell yes, would he be Chaotic Neutral then.)  And he could return as a main character without having to be one of those blasted "save the world" idealists.

...thoughts?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on October 18, 2010, 05:08:38 AM
He realizes at one point what's happening to him.  Had he realized this immediately, he might have sought to expunge the demon totally.  By the time he realizes it, though, he's already begun changing, and so does his plan.  Instead, he searches for a way to expel the demon...but keep its powers for himself.  Eventually, I think, he will succeed, leaving behind a seriously hardened, badass character, wielding demonic might, still king of his country, but now acting entirely on his own agenda.  He could become a serious world power; hardened, cynical, a blend of everything he's experienced to that point.  (And hell yes, would he be Chaotic Neutral then.)  And he could return as a main character without having to be one of those blasted "save the world" idealists.

...thoughts?

You have to do this, why haven't you started already
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 18, 2010, 06:09:40 PM
well, there are literally thousands of self insert fics like that all over ffnet. You could try checking some of them to get ideas. The things is so horrible generic, though; in fact, I'm pretty sure I read in TvTropes an entry for an eroge with the exact same premise, down right to the redeeming and being "badass" part. Over Ffnet, I think the genre is easily found with things like Grey-insert name of character-. Most of shounen heroes usually get this treatment; Bleach and Naruto are some of the worst offenders.

It would be interesting to read if once he reaches the redeeming point, is totally badass, and everybody is Awed by him, another demons finds a loophole and takes him down in mid sentence.

One work I like of the main character royally screwing up some of the strongest demons ever is Grim Grimoire, and I like Lilleth making every other demon her bitch, because Lilleth really just need the demons for very specific things, not for power. She got power not because of any demon, she was powerful enough on her own to make actual legions of demons work for her without problems. The fact she's an incredible schemer and managed to sell her soul several times with absolutely no way for the demons to claim her, makes it all the better.

Hell -not punny-, she so utterly and completely owns the demons of the story, that the one "on her side" can't help but laugh like crazy and say he wished he had helped plan all this. She totally played her demonic ally too, more than once, and he ADORES her because of it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: theshirn on October 18, 2010, 06:30:15 PM
You have to do this, why haven't you started already
The things is so horrible generic
basically this

This is why I almost never write anymore.  The only ideas I can come up with have been done a thousand times before and I can't think of anything truly new or original.  Were I to write this, I'd focus more on the mind of the character than anything else, or maybe have all that a s a prelude and run with the character's story entirely following that point, but I get so damned frustrated at my utter lack of any originality that...bleh.

:(

EDIT: just one other note: I loathe the term "badass" on the whole, because it usually just implies a really powerful character who gets into a lot of fights, or just someone with more bravado than sense.  This is one of the few instances where I would use it, as he is making all the decisions and going through what he does with his own two hands and no BS.  It is a character who operates entirely of his own will.  Frankly, that's really damn rare these days.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chibi-Reaper on October 18, 2010, 11:05:24 PM
On the other hand, if you made this into a game, it could have multiple endings, spread across multiple arcs of the game. So, provided you hit the key points, you could have any number of variations. He quickly realizes what a bad idea dealing with the devil was and represses the crap out of it, doing the 'hermit on a mountain' shtick, all the way to exulting in the power offered and becoming a blood-crazed conquerer, possibly absorbing the devil inside to become a new amalgamation of Evil.

Better, have variations within each arc, depending on the path you took to get there. Like, if arc1 ends with you as the evil king, then you get attacked by heroes, like you said. But if arc1 ends with the guy having contained the devil and become a good king, then you get attacked by a party of villains seeking to overthrow your order and instill a new age of anarchy. Or you did something to irritate some sorceror or dragon, who burns down a village in petty vengeance. Variable stuff like that.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on October 19, 2010, 12:14:40 AM
Or you did something to irritate some sorceror or dragon, who burns down a village in petty vengeance. Variable stuff like that.

Well that explains a lot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq7L9aovF0A#t1m=40s)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 21, 2010, 05:46:57 AM

This is another of my scrapped ideas for a Touhou/Naruto xover. Not gonna work with it.

What would happen if Yukari decides to dump Naruto in the former Hell. My first thought was just having Naruto getting eaten or just accidentally stepped on by an Oni or something big, but then decided to give him a chance to live while getting a look of what the Underground freaks are usually up to.

=======================================

The misplaced Human blond did his best to run away from the violence, for once not caused by him, and for once not wanting to get attention on himself because of it.

He had no idea how he had landed in the middle of a bar; said bar had been in the process of getting trashed by a typical Oni bar brawl. What he quickly realized was that these horned people were beating each other so hard the building was crashing down on everybody inside. The spat fire, lighting, huge metallic and spiked clubs, and other objects of destruction didn't care who were hit as long as the violence kept going on, something Naruto found out very quickly when one of the huge brawlers grabbed a smaller one as a club and started beating down walls.

Like in, literally beating down walls. Naruto wasn't exactly sure why other than the big one just wanted to hit something and somebody.

The kid managed to jump through a knocked down wall just in time to see the three stories building crashing upon itself, as if somebody have stepped on it.

Then it exploded.

Naruto was now officially freaked out, and things just got worst when everybody who had been in the building, burst out of the debris ready for more. People looking out of the windows stared for a moment at the fighting mob before the spectators cheered on and jumped off the windows, joining the massive brawl. When the sky literally exploded, Naruto knew it was time to make a bolt for it.

Luckily for him, the horned fighters were too interested on fighting each other to notice the little Human running for his life. If Naruto had been older, he could have compared the chaos to one of the great wars; fire on the horizon, smoke eclipsing the sun, smell of blood and burnt flesh, and screams of pain. The little boy finally managed to make it outside the strange village, looking over the destruction he had just escaped from. He felt lost, not knowing what to make from the experience, or how to accept the fact he was no longer in Konoha.

"Move." Naruto started violently to the bored sounding word. He stared up to a pair of very green eyes, that could make even Sakura's look dull.

"Wha?" he replied.

The blond girl sighed, reaching out and yanking him away. Naruto was ready to protest being manhandled like this when a loud crash shut him up; slowly, he twisted, ever so slowly, his neck to see a large piece of fiery debris landed almost exactly on the place he had been occupying. Then a boulder landed on the exact same place he had been occupying.

"Hu-he, ah? thanks!" Naruto muttered, too shaken up by the whole thing.

"Never mind," the girl said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I just need you to answer me something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"How did you manage to enter the former Hell? Especially when I removed the bridge to the surface world?"

===================================


I had thought of placing this before SA, so the Ancient City is still off limit for the rest of Gensokyo. The plot in this one would be Naruto just surviving. He would realize Oni tend to leave Parsee alone so he tags along, but that doesn't mean Parsee will be all buddy buddy with him. Only Yuugi approaches Parsee on her own, getting close to Naruto. There are a few rough moments when Naruto tries to prank the very honest Oni; they don't really appreciate dishonest people, after all.

It may change Naruto a little, deciding he doesn't like tricking and pranking people. Not only because he's pretty much as durable as a little bug in the former Hell, but I imagine making a friendly Oni like Yuugi feel disappointed on him, may be a bit hard to endure. He could probably decide to impress Oni in the way they like being impressed.

There's no super training to make Naruto stronger. There are just fights that tend to destroy the city, not every day, not every week, but maybe every two weeks. Oni usually rebuild the ancient city overnight, so there's not much problem. Yuugi likes to take Naruto to drink, because Parsee REALLY needs some me time due to exposure to Naruto. Yuugi and Parsee are not romantically together, but they do have some history together.

Yamame's and Kisume's shenanigans are to be expected. Naruto is terrified of Yamame after seeing some "natural" spider demons around the city and learning Yamame is just like them. He is very curious about where is Kisume hanging her bucket from.

Eventually some innocent comments from Naruto cause Parsee to react badly and showing him the exit from Hell, removing the bridge after he passed through. I'm thinking Naruto will be very scared of all that blue and green from the surface.

Not sure what would happen from there. Maybe Naruto trying to befriend Suika so she can help him go back to his friends, or he just trying to jump through the Bridge between Gensokyo and Hell, and Yukari deciding this is the moment to return him to Konoha before he kills himself.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on October 22, 2010, 04:03:55 PM
The Angels are Kaiju. Godzilla, Mothra, etc. Okuu fights them from the cockpit of a mechanized Godzilla/Bahamut.

That works surprisingly well. Thanks!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 23, 2010, 08:49:50 PM
well, I need some help for a Touhou/Naruto idea I have been nursing for a while.

The basic setting is a younger Naruto, around 8-10 years old, gets spirited away into Gensokyo and dumped near the bamboo forest. From there Mokou finds him and takes him to the Human village.

Now, I'm not sure of how fast they should be aware of the fuzzy in Naruto's belly. Mokou could probably feel it from the beginning, or Keine could use her history powers and find it in there. I want Mokou being good with seals and charms, not only for common stuff like fireproof stuff, but also to allow her to notice there's a big seal on Naruto; she just doesn't know what it is, only that it's a very strong seal.

With Keine's case, she knows people who get to the Human Village no longer can leave, and while trying to think of a way to break the news to Naruto, she peeks into his past to get a better idea of how to deal with this. From there she could go further back into his past to realize why the people seemed to dislike him so much.

With Keine's route, she could easily find the connections between the giant face on the mountain and Minato. Not sure if I should break it to Naruto that soon or not.

Now, the thing of dealing with the fox, that should be done quicker, if to ensure there's no danger the thing getting out and killing Naruto or a few of the villagers.

Should they just exorcise the fox, or go on a route like in the Gap and the Fox, turning Naruto into a half youkai?

Any suggestions?

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chibi-Reaper on October 23, 2010, 10:00:07 PM
Hm. If I recall right, then the fox can't get out anyway, and the most it can do is to influence him when he draws enough 'tails' worth of power. And he only uses it for the first time way later, when he's enraged beyond all reason. So... assuming that that's the case, I can easily see either of them adopting a 'leave well enough alone' stance and just don't fiddle around with the seal at all.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 23, 2010, 10:37:49 PM
Hmm, how would they go about having the demon there? Or they just see the seal is strong so they don't exterminate it?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hanged Hourai on October 25, 2010, 11:57:25 PM
I've been toying around with the idea of making a fan fiction for a while, but I'm not sure which of my ideas to pursue.

I've got
1. Backstory to the SDM gang
or
 2. Cirno is an evil mastermind and is the real one behind some of the incidents.
Such as, (and I haven't totally thought this through)
She anonymously convinces Remillia to make the red mist, blocking out the moon, allowing her to get into the human village without having to face EX Keine.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on October 26, 2010, 03:05:13 AM
well, the idea behind Cirno-nee is that Cirno is actually much smarter and just playing fool. She's also very good friends with the SDM before Sakuya joins them.

Some comics I have seen of Cirno-nee and Remilia have them calling each other just Fairy and Vampire respectively.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Blackraptor on November 05, 2010, 08:11:11 PM
well, the idea behind Cirno-nee is that Cirno is actually much smarter and just playing fool. She's also very good friends with the SDM before Sakuya joins them.

Some comics I have seen of Cirno-nee and Remilia have them calling each other just Fairy and Vampire respectively.

Isn't Cirno-nee just Cirno after several centuries of maturity and power development?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hanged Hourai on November 05, 2010, 09:40:38 PM
By Jove, I've got it!

Here's what I'll do!

I'll write a story about the secret lives of Alice's dolls. As far as she knows, they can't think on their own and she totally controls them. But they really have their own personality and control their own actions. It'll talk about their daily lives and adventures while Alice goes out on chores and stuff. With the main character being none other than the wonderful Hourai.
  :3

I'm gonna roll with this idea and see how it turns out. I'll probably post it in PSL if I do.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dan-Heron on November 05, 2010, 10:56:40 PM
Isn't Cirno-nee just Cirno after several centuries of maturity and power development?

maybe centuries before the current canon. She helps Remilia take care of a young Sakuya, and Young!Alice appears every once in a while.


I'll write a story about the secret lives of Alice's dolls. As far as she knows, they can't think on their own and she totally controls them. But they really have their own personality and control their own actions. It'll talk about their daily lives and adventures while Alice goes out on chores and stuff. With the main character being none other than the wonderful Hourai.
  :3

I'm gonna roll with this idea and see how it turns out. I'll probably post it in PSL if I do.

I know Morino Hon had a short doujin like that. Only it was only Hourai who was sentient enough. It would be interesting.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle on November 07, 2010, 06:35:12 AM
Some of you may remember my posts in the past.

I'm not just doing all that for nothing. I said long ago that I was making something good.

I was inspired by the inherent crappiness of this fic:

http://lolanime.wordpress.com/2009/09/05/hftow-ch-1-the-land-behind-the-boundary/

It's got a plot, a good premise, and understood the importance of music in any story.
But I read it, and I couldn't go on. First, it gave the impression that a little kid wrote it, with so many deus ex machinae and plot loops. Second, the main character contacted every last person in Gensokyo, and I couldn't lose the feeling that it was way too out of character. Last, it failed to maintain suspension of disbelief.

Rather than sit at my desk and flame the author about how much it sucks (I did that in my troll years) I decided that I could make a better one.

Since I was doing many hobbies in my spare time, like research in strange scripts, programming, and thinking up stories in my mind, I decided to coordinate all that in a giant project.

The base of all this is suspension of disbelief. Reading crappy fanfics hardened my will to make sense of everything, so that it becomes believable. That probably caused problems.

I chose Gensokyo as a filler because it was literally just an almost empty world, which probably contributed to it's success. (The fans do the thinking for you, making it the ultimate crowdsourced story.) To use a metaphor I heard somewhere, a good fictional world is like a impenetrable opaque box (which has all the secrets), letting out only a little bit of light (the few facts we get about the world).

Everything else is a variable. People make fanfics to give their ideas about what happens inside the box. (like, where things are, how the people interact, what happens, how they look) but have only touched upon very little about anything in it.

Now those are fanfics. What I'm doing is a fanfic on steroids.

I want to provide an underlying framework upon which the entire story operates. Then, I make a story relying on that framework. To put it in words, I am recreating Gensokyo from my perspective, from my logic. I'm trying to be as close to canon as possible, but I'm taking a few liberties.

Some people were offended that I'm imposing my ideas on that world.

But that was the point. I'm filling in the blanks of the unknown box, just like any writer would do.

But, I never explained my wills and reasons properly, causing huge amounts of misunderstanding, and miscommunication.

A huge majority of this adaptation is original work. The synopsis of the story I'm making is about a group of heavy infantry, sent to a stop a coup somewhere near Asia, accidentally wandering into an illusionary world. The major focus is not on wars and battles, which in fact, I'm not sure I should show at all, but it is on the hardships that the soldiers faced before joining this unit.

The nation these soldiers come from is almost an anarchy. Huge government rollbacks, trying to raise money to cut taxes and national debt, cause a huge amount of hardship. While their budget deficit is zero, it was made at the cost of the defense of national interests (the end of Economic regulation, Food regulation, etc) and infrastructure maintenance. The roads are potholed and useless, and anything useful is controlled by corporations that make public use impossible.

Quality of life is really bad for the majority of the people, which I call the proles, (proletariat) and opportunities are restricted to a few people, the hicks. (english loanword for Hikikomori) The hicks live a privileged and opportunistic life, but never leave their tall buildings, for fear of attack from the proles. That makes them antisocial and unsuited to human contact. The proles are very social, and seem to have more fun than the hicks. However, they live a dangerous, hard, and short life.

There is not only class divisions. This nation has fallen apart into a disjoined group of states. Two sides quickly manifested, the Nationalists and the Libertarians. The Nationalists consist of states that maintained government after the feds pulled support for it. Quality of life is bad, but have been successful in pulling themselves out. The Libertarians have no written boundaries to freedom, but in practice are ruled by militias that rule like dictators. The people are brainwashed by their own will, believing whatever they say on extremely biased news channels. The militias kill political enemies in a strange way, by claiming that they were ordinary citizens murdered by evil agents of the Nationalists who "want you to be next". It causes mass panic, and is effective in creating perpetual war against a nonexistent "socialist" enemy.

That is the background of that nation. The soldiers have their own sad histories.

One guy, Mustafa Abdul Al-Rahim, lost his wife in 9/11. He joins the army getting sent to Iraq, where he saves many soldiers as a combat medic, and later as a unit commander. As time goes on, each new team assigned to him hates having a Muslim commander, and mutiny. Fearful of bad press, the Army dishonorably discharges Mustafa, not the rebelling soldiers. He comes back home to find his house burned by a lynch mob, and he is narrowly saved by police, who send him to Washington to be deported to Iraq. He made huge amounts of enemies as a U.S. soldier there, so he fears for his life again, cursing "Hard work pays off." A general passes by, notices his former commander, and decides to save Mustafa by recruiting him into an extralegal unit.

Another guy, Nicholas Sciezkak, losing his job, his family, and all his possessions, decided to jump off a bridge. He decides against it when a lost boy asks him for directions. He leads the boy back to his house, where his family give him a nice reception, a job, and hope. But, the man loses everything again when the boy and his family dies of food poisoning. He goes back to the bridge, but jumps back, remembering the boy's last words, "Never forget that you still have a future". He lands on a recruitment officer, who gives him a new opportunity by giving him a rare job as a soldier.

These are just two stripped-down examples out of the group, and each soldier's background and character is revealed.

Of course, what i'm writing is not all sad. Arriving in the illusionary world, and surviving to the village, they find a world which lives carefree and idyllic lives, in stark contrast to the soldier's bleakness. They warm up, and participate in a strange happenstance, involving other outsiders.

However, the soldiers decide that they cannot stay, and as they have a duty to go back and fix their hopeless world.

That is the story I had in mind for the entire time. That was just an emotionless generalization, so expect the real story to be much better.

I hope you understand better about what I had in mind. I should have made all this clear from the start.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle on November 07, 2010, 06:59:41 AM
Damn, this might not make sense to any of you now that it's been moved. I feel that this has an immutable connection to the other section, but whatever.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: theshirn on November 07, 2010, 07:02:04 AM
Feel free to link to the other thread, then.  Edit it into the OP?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle on November 07, 2010, 07:03:46 AM
Shoot, by thread, I meant section of the forum.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dead Princess Sakana on November 07, 2010, 07:40:46 AM
This indeed seems like it will belong here in the end, it's about fiction after all. Just link it in your other thread in TARC if you want to make the connection, or vice versa.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Gilgamesh on November 13, 2010, 05:53:09 AM
Really, really new to this forum here. And the fandom in general.  :3 But ah, yes... I'm mostly a story-nut with a strange vision that came to me after a roleplay... and I really need quite a bit help in understanding Touhou quite a bit more.

But first, story outline I guess?

It's a Touhou x Fate/Stay Night crossover. Main characters are Yuka Kazami, Elly, and Gilgamesh.

I was actually thinking of using Gilgamesh after he meets his end in the Unlimited Blade Works path. Instead of his essence returning to the Throne of Heroes, a freak accident causes the rest of him to be transferred to the dreamworld of Mugenkan. And sent crashing right outside the flowerfield, waking up Yuka who comes to investigate out of curiousity.

With Gilgamesh already beginning to fade, he's forced to make a contract with Yuka, who decides, 'Sure, why not? Another servant can't be a bad thing' and makes a contract, somewhat saving Gilgamesh's life.

And now comes the plot points. Gilgamesh has no idea where he is. After all, this isn't the site of the War for the Holy Grail.  Elly appears, and immediately dislikes Gilgamesh. But Yuka is a little bit interested in a being like him who came from outside Gensokyo. The 1st chapter basically becomes an infodump for the F/SN verse and the Touhou verse.

Comments? Suggestions? I definitely need a bit more info on the Touhou characters...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on November 13, 2010, 06:14:01 AM
Hm... Couple of suggestions of your idea.

First get a very concrete idea for all your main characters.  It'll help a lot.  The best writers can get their characters to write themselves (even if it's not where the writer wanted to go!).

Second, when info dumping do your best to make it an aside whenever possible.  For example when talking about say Gilgamesh's Gate of Babalon don't just have him exposition dump things (unless you want a character to be known for exposition dumps, or it's supposed to be a school like setting).  It's better to describe the action as he does it.  Amusingly you can probably get away with more infodump (since everyone sees Touhou rules differently) but it's still good practice.

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Gilgamesh on November 13, 2010, 06:55:49 AM
Noted. But ah... what do you mean by concrete idea for my main characters? Do you mean personality traits and various things they'd likely do in the situation they're in, etc...?

Also, should I bother telling what my intended pairing for the characters in this fic?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on November 13, 2010, 06:58:44 AM
Noted. But ah... what do you mean by concrete idea for my main characters? Do you mean personality traits and various things they'd likely do in the situation they're in, etc...?
Yes.  Have an idea of what they do, both normally and when pressed.

Quote
Also, should I bother telling what my intended pairing for the characters in this fic?
Shouldn't matter.  You'll annoy someone no matter how you pair people up.  :P  Just remember to avoid shipping for it's own sake.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Gilgamesh on November 13, 2010, 07:51:33 AM
Which of course, is my main problem at the moment. I kinda need a bit more knowledge on Yuka and Elly's character. Need help in that... please?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Gilgamesh on November 16, 2010, 03:26:53 AM
Okay, I think I'm ready to just about start the first chapter of the story. But I think I just have one more question before actually getting to work properly on it. (And the fact I can't exactly reply to messages yet. Heh...)

Is the Garden of the Sun around Yuka's mansion? I know, minor detail... too paranoid. Bleh...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ryuu on November 16, 2010, 03:35:08 AM
yuka's mansion was only in the dream world of mugenkan


she may or may not have an actual mansion


(iirc)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on November 16, 2010, 04:52:15 AM
Mugenkan is an actual location, though, isn't it? It's only LLS Extra that takes place in a dream world, so Yuka's mansion should exist, and, well, it's Yuka. She would want it to be near the Garden of the Sun. Not that I blame her. Flowers~

King of Heroes, do you have any more questions?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Gilgamesh on November 16, 2010, 05:08:35 AM

King of Heroes, do you have any more questions?

I'll probably always have questions later on anyways. Heh. Though probably not in regards to future pairings like
Yuka/Gilgamesh
or... actually, wait. That's probably my only OTP at the moment. >_>

Oh yeah, question again.... Is it Yuka or Yuuka for her proper name. I've seen both used too many times...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on November 16, 2010, 05:11:32 AM
Both spellings are acceptable. I've seen people use Yuuka more often in settings where Yukari pops up as well, just to differentiate between the two, but everyone will know who you're talking about whichever one you use. Just choose the one you prefer.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Gilgamesh on November 16, 2010, 05:15:20 AM
Ah, well that's a relief. Thanks again.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on November 16, 2010, 12:38:40 PM
I'm working on a Suika backstory for http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,7685.0.html (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,7685.0.html)

The title is Autobiographies of Interesting Characters, and I plan to do Suika next.

I'm assuming that density manipulation is strictly the manipulation of her own mass and volume, and has nothing to do with abstract densities such as population density. If we start to get into other objects, it becomes very interesting, but I'm a little scared of how she could manipulate other people's density with that power. However, I've already covered a fairly absolute understanding of control over history and fate, so if Suika can manipulate the density of other things as well it wouldn't be a problem for balance, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.

This raises the problem of how she got everyone to party. I can either ignore the parties she's known to cause, or find a physical reason that she was able to get everyone to gather by becoming mist. I'm curious to know if there is a way someone with an infinite amount of sake and the ability to mistify it can make everyone everywhere drunk by breathing, because that would explain the parties. But I'm not sure if that makes sense, and a more rational explanation involving burnt poppy seeds might be needed. Heck, I may even want to go with Reimu having found a gourd of infinite sake lying around, and decided to party with it, but I don't think that would be sufficient. Is there a good, rational explanation for how Suika got the parties going if we assume that her power only consists of changing her own mass and volume, as well as the mass and the volume of her gourd and it's contents?

Alternatively, I could retcon the events of IaMP. I think "Suika's lost gourd" would make a funny story. But that would be a better future story, and this is more explaining how she can use her power.

As an alternative, I can simply breeze over her powers and get straight to her drinking buddies, which will absolutely be included. I have a pretty good idea of who I'm going to include, but I'd like to hear some other ideas since there are a bunch of characters it might not occur to me to use. I know that Yuugi is an obvious choice, and Aya is as well, since Tengu and Oni go pretty far back. Anyone else that would probably go out drinking with Suika?

Thank you.

EDIT: The spoiler tags were a case of minor spoilers, not unnecessary censorship. Rereading my message, it occured to me that the function of the spoiler tags could be misinterpretted easily. They might not be appropriate for this kind of thing anyway, so I'm taking the tags out.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Lloyd Dunamis on November 18, 2010, 04:20:17 PM
Would a musically-timed story be a worthwhile endeavour?
For the type of music, something that... blends in the background while you're reading. This is pretty easy (I think) with ambient type of music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AU-xX7aUu58), but with a story containing action and stuff... nnnn, probably something not-so-melodic that doesn't out-balance your attention on the reading material?

Seconding Dan-Heron's suggestion of using Flash for this. "Comic", though, that would require drawing and stuff, right? To think, I haven't seen fics w/ music playing that doesn't have a corresponding picture/art for it... That, and, a little like Tengukami, my attention tends to lean to music than what I'm reading :ohdear:...


Here be my bunch of ideas then. I wouldn't call it just "dumping" it here, but...

-------------
[idea]
Cirno then...nnnn, probably someone strongest like Cirno Okuu. Cirno in a pinch. Not accepting near-defeat, Cirno goes on a...uhh, Limit Break/Spirits Blaster/Adrenaline Rush/etc. Ice pillars cover the whole stage from beneath the ground. Strong, freezing winds coming from nowhere (cause by the ice pillars itselves, probably) surround the inside of the stage, amking their battlefield winter cold. Snow gradually starts to form from above. From nowhere, suddenly, Letty appears.
Cirno has summoned Letty Whiterock!

Cirno, unable to move but standing, unconsciously maintains the ice pillars to keep its temperature low for Letty. So instead of Cirno you move Letty! Opponent's movement is slowed down (by 1/2? 1/3?) Letty can do [insert awesome/badass moves here]. Duration of summon is ?? seconds or depending on collected point talismans...?

On the last seconds, Letty can use her trump card/final spell card/special move.

After the special move, Letty elegantly fades with Cirno's ice pillars, with a short "goodbye" fadeout dialogue. Cirno, though unconsciously and perhaps not remembering that she summoned Letty at all, thanks Letty in response.
After that instant, Cirno looks exhausted, one eye closed, but despite not remembering clearly what just happened, she grins in "I Am The Strongest!!" type of satifaction upon the sight of her defeated opponent.
[/idea]

I could say this is inspired by Roukan's "The Power of Faith" (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?topic=1681.msg62411#msg62411)
...Err, this went more like some idea in case Letty Whiterock's in a Touhou fighting game, but... eh :3

-------------
Inspired by...uhh, recent typhoons here in the Philippines ^_^;;

What does Gensokyo residents do on a storm/typhoon? (before/during/after)
If not a typhoon, then any natural occurrence -- earthquake, sandstorms, volcanic...oh wait =.=;;

...Do natural disasters happen in Gensokyo, anyway? Well, that's what this idea is about, I guess.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Sect on November 18, 2010, 04:38:11 PM
Quote
Inspired by...uhh, recent typhoons here in the Philippines ^_^;;

What does Gensokyo residents do on a storm/typhoon? (before/during/after)
If not a typhoon, then any natural occurrence -- earthquake, sandstorms, volcanic...oh wait =.=;;

...Do natural disasters happen in Gensokyo, anyway? Well, that's what this idea is about, I guess.
Only if Tenshi is involved. [/snark]

I would say that it would depend on whether or not the writer wants there to be a natural disaster: since it IS Gensokyo, I would imagine that there's a bit of leeway for suspension of disbelief. Of the (not quite) severe weather/natural disaster that have already happened, there's been blizzards, earthquakes, geyser explosions, and giant robots.

If you think about it, depending on how much you think the Outside World affects Gensokyo, you can run the entire gamut for what sort of environmental hazards could hapen, what with it originally being part of Japan.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on November 19, 2010, 05:26:38 AM
Only if Tenshi is involved. [/snark]

I would say that it would depend on whether or not the writer wants there to be a natural disaster: since it IS Gensokyo, I would imagine that there's a bit of leeway for suspension of disbelief. Of the (not quite) severe weather/natural disaster that have already happened, there's been blizzards, earthquakes, geyser explosions, and giant robots.

If you think about it, depending on how much you think the Outside World affects Gensokyo, you can run the entire gamut for what sort of environmental hazards could hapen, what with it originally being part of Japan.

Coming up, Aya's editorial on the GaP Oil Spill
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Unassuming Squid on November 19, 2010, 08:16:31 AM
Suika and density and stuff

As far as I know, Suika isn't limited to her own mass/density. She can create miniature black holes, which are superdense objects, a couple of her attacks involve gathering debris and such into a shrapnel boulder and throwing it at the opponent, and I'm pretty sure the parties were caused by her using her power to gather everyone together.

When it comes to Touhou powers, you pretty much have to take the power's description at it's fully implied potential, like with Yukari's manipulation of boundaries. Otherwise you have to go through a lot of hoop-jumping to explain certain things.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on November 19, 2010, 07:36:35 PM
As far as I know, Suika isn't limited to her own mass/density. She can create miniature black holes, which are superdense objects, a couple of her attacks involve gathering debris and such into a shrapnel boulder and throwing it at the opponent, and I'm pretty sure the parties were caused by her using her power to gather everyone together.

When it comes to Touhou powers, you pretty much have to take the power's description at it's fully implied potential, like with Yukari's manipulation of boundaries. Otherwise you have to go through a lot of hoop-jumping to explain certain things.

I wasn't going to take Yukari's manipulation of boundaries to that extreme either. I was worried about the implications of any character that could move the boundary of adverb versus verb enough to accidentally the boundary between reality versus imaginary, and then have her way with the boundary between life and pudding. Though the story is based on taking powers at face value.

Thanks for reminding me that her power is to gather things.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Aba Matindesu! on November 21, 2010, 12:33:52 PM
Well, I did have two ideas:

Idea 1: The Pure White Lotus
Obviously about Byakuren. Something about how she lived her life before being sealed, explaining how she got Shinki's attack while she was sealed, explaining Shou's absence, giving Myouren a personality, how Byakuren came to push for equality, et cetera. Writing it right now.

Idea 2: Ultimus Sedicem (based on this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeFXzTQmkps) song)
*Sedicem stands for 16, that is, representing 16 games with new characters (including IaMP, SWR, DS and GFW. No manga unless I feel like it.)

Anyway, huge monsters that are literal embodiments of the titles of each game appear all over Gensokyo and attack. They are held off, but then combine into a behemoth representing 13, which, because of one of the bigger theories of TH13 being that it's water-themed/will take place in the ocean, causes a huge flood by gushing water out of its stomach-mouth thing. Gensokyo is utterly destroyed, and everyone barely escapes with Yukari's help.

They jump from dimension to dimension, various characters sacrificing themselves for time, but otherwise in vain. Eventually, they end up in the real world, where everyone gathers around the monster for their last stand. They manage to weaken the monster at long last, but not before it slaughtered everyone but Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya and Sanae. As for how it ends, I dunno, I'm trying to make it so that it isn't one of those "I hear dead people, cry then powerhax" Deus Ex Machinas.

Hah, I suck.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 11, 2010, 02:22:05 AM
I'm working on a fairly short versus story right now about a fight between Flandre and Yukari, spell cards allowed but no rules. But to do it, I need to rigidly define their powers.

It can go two ways.

Either I assume Flandre and Yukari's powers work only on things that actually exist. With Yukari, the reason she can manipulate the border between fantasy and reality or life and death is because they are both extensions of her portal ability to manipulate the boundary between here and there. Gensokyo (fantasy), Hakugyokurou (death), and reality are all physical locations. This ability means she can work on the boundary between objects and fuse things together as well. Flandre can destroy anything that exists, and nothing that doesn't exist. But, for example, neither of them can touch truth and lies, because both are solely products of the mind, and thus the two concepts are imaginary and non-existent. This gives both their powers some strong fundamental bounds I can rely on.

Or, I can give them both powers over conceptual ideas as well. Yukari can manipulate the border between real and imaginary, but Flandre can break reality at it's core (I can use a future setting where Flandre has learned the extent of her powers to make this work, if necessary). This presents a very extreme, absolute version of both their powers which I like, but the logistics make me hesitate. What would a battle between someone with total control over the imaginary versus someone who can break the concept of "imagination" even look like?

If I give Yukari power over concepts and Flandre is stuck with just physical, the battle ends in 3 seconds. Yukari bends the boundary between existence and non-existence, and Flandre goes poof. So I'm either going with the top, or could use some suggestions about how to implement the bottom. Thoughts?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on December 11, 2010, 02:31:20 AM
If I give Yukari power over concepts and Flandre is stuck with just physical, the battle ends in 3 seconds. Yukari bends the boundary between existence and non-existence, and Flandre goes poof. So I'm either going with the top, or could use some suggestions about how to implement the bottom. Thoughts?
The way you can avoid having the second become an impossibility is to keep characters from being omnipotent within their power suite.

For example just because Flandre can break anything doesn't mean she knows where the thing she wants to break is.  Or perhaps she just breaks them.  Breaking say a vampire into peices is annoying, but doesn't kill them.  Breaking Jello just gives you an equal amount of jello over a wider area.

Similarly Yukari may have the ability to bend any border at will, but actually doing it in practice requires intense concentration.  Or maybe she's just not yet strong enough to affect some concepts.  And of course like Flandre, she can't alter the boundaries of something that she doesn't know the existance of.

Just as a side note though, even with basic powers you've got a pretty nasty game of rocket tag here.  Yukari hasn't shown any ability to not die when blown apart, and Flandre reacts poorly to things that can be easily portaled in, like say rain or sunlight.  The spellcard rules (or other dueling rules) are one of the nice things that allow youkai at the final boss/phatasm level to talk to each other without being worried that someone might hit a weak point and instagib them.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 11, 2010, 05:15:19 AM
The way you can avoid having the second become an impossibility is to keep characters from being omnipotent within their power suite.

For example just because Flandre can break anything doesn't mean she knows where the thing she wants to break is.  Or perhaps she just breaks them.  Breaking say a vampire into peices is annoying, but doesn't kill them.  Breaking Jello just gives you an equal amount of jello over a wider area.

Similarly Yukari may have the ability to bend any border at will, but actually doing it in practice requires intense concentration.  Or maybe she's just not yet strong enough to affect some concepts.  And of course like Flandre, she can't alter the boundaries of something that she doesn't know the existance of.

Just as a side note though, even with basic powers you've got a pretty nasty game of rocket tag here.  Yukari hasn't shown any ability to not die when blown apart, and Flandre reacts poorly to things that can be easily portaled in, like say rain or sunlight.  The spellcard rules (or other dueling rules) are one of the nice things that allow youkai at the final boss/phatasm level to talk to each other without being worried that someone might hit a weak point and instagib them.

That sounds like an interesting take on attacks on the conceptual. But you have a point about the rocket tag being pretty nasty as it is. I think I'll put some more thought into it before attempting the second, since while there could be logical rules governing attacks based on concepts (like truth), I haven't thought of them yet. Thanks for the tip.

I know and agree with why the spell card rules exist. They make sense in the context, when you try to bring all the powers up and see just how nasty and dangerous the abilities can get. Although they don't make sense when you make a versus story. Spell card battles are boring to read about since it's just two people casting out barages that are pretty in execution but not in text. But the rocket tag these two could have if they let their abilities loose would be incredible; it would have a tremendous amount of danger and the pacing would be great.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 11, 2010, 03:59:11 PM
I thought of working up a fanfic with one of my OCs. My OC was made to be incredibly powerful, and I'd wondered how would Touhou characters react to such powerful force. He has flying cannons chained to his wrists, a ripped body, the ability to not get affected by death in any plane of existence, ability to recycle natural deities' attacks into becoming something useful for him, omnipotent ghost being that serves as his power generator, can transform into a huge mecha out of will, can transform and transform and transform... in short, he can become and badder and um, he holds the all-mighty The Vessel of God, which is basically a mythical human body that was said used to be God's physical form. He ties the body to a chain and uses it in duels he wants to end quick by swinging it around.

Also he holds The 12 Minds of the Multiverse, in which he has imbued enough physical and spiritual power into a small orb that is said, to be more as powerful as 12 alternate universes. He keeps it in a hollow part of his brain. He also have a device called Labyrinth Acceleration in which he can summons his former and future selves and time-synchronize them into his body molecules, thus making him stronger. One more useful gadget he has is his hat, which is actually a transmitter of some sorts. The hat is called Albalthizer's Elite Armageddon,  in which he can recall dead Gods he had killed before and use them in battle as a weapon/vehicle/split into minions of some sorts and other than calling dead Gods, he can call for backup from anywhere in the Multiverse.

And lastly, if he is somehow overpowered in battle, he has the ability to transport both the enemy and him into a neutral limbo where both of them are in equal power, and the only way of them to win is to through the process of forcing the evolution of their five senses with their own will. Usually, this OC has no problem doing so...

Anyways, I'd wondered how would the strongest of Gensokyo fight off such a person...I just need ideas to make it seem interesting (also, to be the first fanfiction in history to defeat a Mary Sue. :derp:)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Azzy on December 11, 2010, 05:42:40 PM
Anyways, I'd wondered how would the strongest of Gensokyo fight off such a person...I just need ideas to make it seem interesting
They wouldn't. They would go weep in a corner if someone like that came along. :ohdear:

You might want to scale down the power just a tiny bit.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ryuu on December 11, 2010, 06:00:44 PM
blah blah blah Mary Sue


well at least you're aware of it
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 11, 2010, 06:18:11 PM
They wouldn't. They would go weep in a corner if someone like that came along. :ohdear:

You might want to scale down the power just a tiny bit.

Okay then, how about if I removed the flying cannons that he chains to his wrists? That fair enough? :derp:


well at least you're aware of it

Yeah I am, I don't usually do overly-powerful Mary Sues, I like to do types people aren't fond of (psychos, serial killers, rapists, people with social/mental problems and the like). Not sure why though, must because there's some self-inserts here and there whenever I usually do them. :X

But anyway, the main question of my whole story should be 'How does a person kill a God?'.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ryuu on December 11, 2010, 06:40:41 PM
Okay then, how about if I removed the flying cannons that he chains to his wrists? That fair enough? :derp:

Yeah I am, I don't usually do overly-powerful Mary Sues, I like to do types people aren't fond of (psychos, serial killers, rapists, people with social/mental problems and the like). Not sure why though, must because there's some self-inserts here and there whenever I usually do them. :X

But anyway, the main question of my whole story should be 'How does a person kill a God?'.

you don't believe in it and then it starves

which is what was happening to suwako and kanako iirc
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 11, 2010, 06:44:03 PM
I thought of working up a fanfic with one of my OCs. My OC was made to be incredibly powerful, and I'd wondered how would Touhou characters react to such powerful force. He has flying cannons chained to his wrists, a ripped body, the ability to not get affected by death in any plane of existence, ability to recycle natural deities' attacks into becoming something useful for him, omnipotent ghost being that serves as his power generator, can transform into a huge mecha out of will, can transform and transform and transform... in short, he can become and badder and um, he holds the all-mighty The Vessel of God, which is basically a mythical human body that was said used to be God's physical form. He ties the body to a chain and uses it in duels he wants to end quick by swinging it around.

Also he holds The 12 Minds of the Multiverse, in which he has imbued enough physical and spiritual power into a small orb that is said, to be more as powerful as 12 alternate universes. He keeps it in a hollow part of his brain. He also have a device called Labyrinth Acceleration in which he can summons his former and future selves and time-synchronize them into his body molecules, thus making him stronger. One more useful gadget he has is his hat, which is actually a transmitter of some sorts. The hat is called Albalthizer's Elite Armageddon,  in which he can recall dead Gods he had killed before and use them in battle as a weapon/vehicle/split into minions of some sorts and other than calling dead Gods, he can call for backup from anywhere in the Multiverse.

And lastly, if he is somehow overpowered in battle, he has the ability to transport both the enemy and him into a neutral limbo where both of them are in equal power, and the only way of them to win is to through the process of forcing the evolution of their five senses with their own will. Usually, this OC has no problem doing so...

Anyways, I'd wondered how would the strongest of Gensokyo fight off such a person...I just need ideas to make it seem interesting (also, to be the first fanfiction in history to defeat a Mary Sue. :derp:)

Actually, I have a list of characters that can all hypothetically stand a chance, but not one can do it under spell card rules.

Keine Kamishirasawa can rewrite the history of his existance.
Remilia Scarlet can manipulate his fate so that he loses.
Yukari Yakumo can manipulate the boundary on any ability of his that has a boundary.
Shikieiki Yamaxanadu can "judge" him, interpret that how you will.
I doubt Yuuka Kazami would have a problem with evolving her senses if the OC is caught in a battle of equals, since she's a force of nature. But Sakuya Izayoi can undoubtedly win the tiebreaker, since she can pause time until her senses are evolved.
Flandre Scarlet can break anything. Not kill, break. If it exists, she can split it into pieces, even if it is immortal.
According to the wiki, Yuuka received the ultimate magic after Mystic Square. I have no idea what that means, but she seems to be able to match forces with reality benders by bashing them in the face. A good embodiment of using the direct approach.
Sanae Kochiya will make sure that a miracle occurs.

Ah, and gods are immortal, but without faith they fade out of existance.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 11, 2010, 07:05:03 PM
you don't believe in it and then it starves

which is what was happening to suwako and kanako iirc

He's not a God per se, only God-like. I guess I have to change the question then. He doesn't depend on any type of worshiping.

Actually, I have a list of characters that can all hypothetically stand a chance, but not one can do it under spell card rules.

Keine Kamishirasawa can rewrite the history of his existance.
Remilia Scarlet can manipulate his fate so that he loses.
Yukari Yakumo can manipulate the boundary on any ability of his that has a boundary.
Shikieiki Yamaxanadu can "judge" him, interpret that how you will.
I doubt Yuuka Kazami would have a problem with evolving her senses if the OC is caught in a battle of equals, since she's a force of nature. But Sakuya Izayoi can undoubtedly win the tiebreaker, since she can pause time until her senses are evolved.
Flandre Scarlet can break anything. Not kill, break. If it exists, she can split it into pieces, even if it is immortal.
According to the wiki, Yuuka received the ultimate magic after Mystic Square. I have no idea what that means, but she seems to be able to match forces with reality benders by bashing them in the face. A good embodiment of using the direct approach.
Sanae Kochiya will make sure that a miracle occurs.

Ah, and gods are immortal, but without faith they fade out of existance.

From your text, I'd say Yuuka would have the most chance against this guy. Keine, Remilia, Yukari and (probably) Shikieiki have a fighting chance too.

Don't think Sakuya would fare well with him though. If they were on a plane with equal powers, that means he has the same powers with Sakuya (to make it equal). So if Sakuya can freeze time, he can too, and that would bring nowhere (unless one of em' 'defrosts' the other's time stop). The only thing not equal in this neutral limbo is thinking and the human will.

Yep, Flandre can break, but he can use the Labyrinth Acceleration to repair himself again.

Sanae, I don't know, she seems far-fetched to kill him, even if she can make a miracle occur.

So, in any case, if I were to make this fic, Yuuka would have to be the main finisher I guess. (Not really my favorite, but superficial logic wins me this time :()
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 11, 2010, 07:23:59 PM

Don't think Sakuya would fare well with him though. If they were on a plane with equal powers, that means he has the same powers with Sakuya (to make it equal). So if Sakuya can freeze time, he can too, and that would bring nowhere (unless one of em' 'defrosts' the other's time stop). The only thing not equal in this neutral limbo is thinking and the human will.

Yep, Flandre can break, but he can use the Labyrinth Acceleration to repair himself again.


On a plane of equal powers, whoever stops time first wins. You can't have two people stop time at the exact same time, because that would imply that there is a unit of time small enough that two events can happen in the same unit of time. Since time of any interval can be split into infinitely smaller units, the probability of any two events happening at the same time is zero.

Though I do think Yuuka would make a better finisher. She's the type of person that would terrify even a god. Her thinking and will are pretty crazy, probably beyond those of a god depending on the interpretation.

And Flandre can break anything. That labyrinth acceleration is a device according to your description. Therefore, Flandre can break it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ryuu on December 11, 2010, 07:33:01 PM
I don't get it


what's the point of having a character so ridiculously powerful

where's the fun

what's the interest
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 11, 2010, 07:38:59 PM
I don't get it


what's the point of having a character so ridiculously powerful

where's the fun

what's the interest

That's exactly how I feel about Yukari Yakumo, but she's pretty popular.

I've been wondering which is tougher - full powered Touhou or Mary Sue. Is there a Mary Sue that, when against the strongest powers in touhou, can not be defeated? Is it possible for at least one touhou character to defeat any Mary Sue when no assumption of limitations are in place? Can Mary Sue win without the author placing a handicap on the touhou characters, or can touhou win when the author pulls all the stops out in making the ultimate Sue? At least, that's why I'm interested.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Azzy on December 11, 2010, 10:45:05 PM
That's exactly how I feel about Yukari Yakumo, but she's pretty popular.

I've been wondering which is tougher - full powered Touhou or Mary Sue. Is there a Mary Sue that, when against the strongest powers in touhou, can not be defeated? Is it possible for at least one touhou character to defeat any Mary Sue when no assumption of limitations are in place? Can Mary Sue win without the author placing a handicap on the touhou characters, or can touhou win when the author pulls all the stops out in making the ultimate Sue? At least, that's why I'm interested.
I guess it all depends on what the writer wants...

Though it's an interesting question, hmm... Depending on how you view Yukari's powers she might just be able to finish off anything. If you created the ultimate Sue however... :ohdear:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 12, 2010, 01:28:12 AM
Anyway, I guess it kinda depends on who is faster and do they really want to use their powers...

I mean, if the whole of Gensokyo was on the offense, they could have just sent Yuuka and Yukari to fight him off, but of course there will consequences. I mean, if the strongest being in the world were to suddenly exist in your time and physical/mental plane, wouldn't you feel a little bit scared? If he actually did exist, I'd probably join sides with him.

So yeah, I was thinking of making a combined effort of the Gensokyo dwellers when they battle at the neutral limbo in the end. The trick is that when you're in a neutral limbo, it's supposed to be 1 VS 1 fight, but when you have all the Gensokyo dwellers transported there, all of their power = one person, so it's kinda an unfair fight.

But I've thought about how Flandre can break things (and assuming that she does not know of the Labyrinth Accelerator), she'd probably just break the guy, but he can still use the device to project his past/future selves into the plane and synchronizing them with the current time plane (to make sure there's no time paradox).

Then I would make the guy turn into a mecha after some very small error he had made (Undecided on this part, but I thought of making him only synchronizing half of his body with his past/future selves), goes batshit insane (Of course, the most powerful being must be a terrible loser :3) and transforms into a giant mecha.

Then he would open up a time rift and take something similar like his Labyrinth Accelerator but only that it can summon his past/future selves at incredible speeds and starts throwing them like danmaku! Then Suika would turn larger and the whole cast starts fending off the OC in their own way...

Well, even if it sounds like a ridiculous idea, it got my brain juices flowing. Been quite a long time since I've felt this way... :]
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 12, 2010, 01:59:08 AM
Anyway, I guess it kinda depends on who is faster and do they really want to use their powers...

I mean, if the whole of Gensokyo was on the offense, they could have just sent Yuuka and Yukari to fight him off, but of course there will consequences. I mean, if the strongest being in the world were to suddenly exist in your time and physical/mental plane, wouldn't you feel a little bit scared? If he actually did exist, I'd probably join sides with him.

So yeah, I was thinking of making a combined effort of the Gensokyo dwellers when they battle at the neutral limbo in the end. The trick is that when you're in a neutral limbo, it's supposed to be 1 VS 1 fight, but when you have all the Gensokyo dwellers transported there, all of their power = one person, so it's kinda an unfair fight.

But I've thought about how Flandre can break things (and assuming that she does not know of the Labyrinth Accelerator), she'd probably just break the guy, but he can still use the device to project his past/future selves into the plane and synchronizing them with the current time plane (to make sure there's no time paradox).

Then I would make the guy turn into a mecha after some very small error he had made (Undecided on this part, but I thought of making him only synchronizing half of his body with his past/future selves), goes batshit insane (Of course, the most powerful being must be a terrible loser :3) and transforms into a giant mecha.

Then he would open up a time rift and take something similar like his Labyrinth Accelerator but only that it can summon his past/future selves at incredible speeds and starts throwing them like danmaku! Then Suika would turn larger and the whole cast starts fending off the OC in their own way...

Well, even if it sounds like a ridiculous idea, it got my brain juices flowing. Been quite a long time since I've felt this way... :]

You have to be more specific about how he uses the labyrinth accelerator. Even if Flandre doesn't know what it does, I don't see why she wouldn't break it while he uses it. She does break things and people for the sake of breaking them, not because it's in her best interest.

Although a warning: I'm not sure that your character is the most powerful person in Gensokyo. The fact that all his toys exist means that Flandre can break them or Yukari can take them. His ability to summon defeated gods is actually a downgrade from Yukari's portal ability. His fundamental powers, which can't be stripped by either Flandre or Yukari, are his immortality, his transformation abilities, and his pocket dimension (Kaguya without her toys + Nue using just robots + Yukari's pocket dimension). (edit: forgot about the ability to counter attacks from gods. I'm not sure it matters though because neither Yukari nor Flandre use natural deity attacks.) If both of them had each others powers in that dimension, then Yukari could win in there easily because the border ability takes centuries to understand while Yukari got boosted to immortal status. Flandre might not be so lucky, but her insanity would help.

Yes, Flandre can rip the 12 minds of the multiverse out of him, and will likely do so when she breaks his head. In fact, she might like this guy. He has lots of cool toys and doesn't break when you break him.

(Though this discussion did give me a thought for a story idea involving dueling authors, where one author writes the actions of Mary Sue and the other author pens the counterattacks of the different touhou characters. Winner determined by who lives and isn't permanently sealed, knocked out, forced to retreat, etc. Legality of the moves judged by readers.)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Drake on December 12, 2010, 05:16:28 AM
This is the best discussion ever. Every post since Kuroi needs to be LSed.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 12, 2010, 05:56:43 AM
You have to be more specific about how he uses the labyrinth accelerator. Even if Flandre doesn't know what it does, I don't see why she wouldn't break it while he uses it. She does break things and people for the sake of breaking them, not because it's in her best interest.

Although a warning: I'm not sure that your character is the most powerful person in Gensokyo. The fact that all his toys exist means that Flandre can break them or Yukari can take them. His ability to summon defeated gods is actually a downgrade from Yukari's portal ability. His fundamental powers, which can't be stripped by either Flandre or Yukari, are his immortality, his transformation abilities, and his pocket dimension (Kaguya without her toys + Nue using just robots + Yukari's pocket dimension). (edit: forgot about the ability to counter attacks from gods. I'm not sure it matters though because neither Yukari nor Flandre use natural deity attacks.) If both of them had each others powers in that dimension, then Yukari could win in there easily because the border ability takes centuries to understand while Yukari got boosted to immortal status. Flandre might not be so lucky, but her insanity would help.

Yes, Flandre can rip the 12 minds of the multiverse out of him, and will likely do so when she breaks his head. In fact, she might like this guy. He has lots of cool toys and doesn't break when you break him.

(Though this discussion did give me a thought for a story idea involving dueling authors, where one author writes the actions of Mary Sue and the other author pens the counterattacks of the different touhou characters. Winner determined by who lives and isn't permanently sealed, knocked out, forced to retreat, etc. Legality of the moves judged by readers.)

Well, time to expand this OC's power list.

Let's see. I was thinking of making the OC have the natural ability of the power to repair items/himself within his radius. 'Repair' in his mind is to 'restore things that is thought to be its former glory', so he can repair just almost anything, only withdraw with this power is that he can't repair things he seen for the first time that are broken (Let's say he found a broken tractor, he can't repair it because he'd only seen it once, and he never saw the tractor when it was in it's best shape). Also, this thing is automatic, so other than being immortal, he can repair his wounds quick.

And also things that he owns in particular (such as the Labyrinth Accelerator) can still work even after being destroyed. Everything he owns is actually, spirits! Breaking the Accelerator would only mean it has no physical manifestation, thus, it can still work, even without the vessel.

Also, if things get too rough on the neutral limbo, I was thinking that he would transport the enemy and himself to the ends of the universe, where the path to HIS universe exists. Unfortunately, he can only take them as far as the entrance into his own universe (in which if any person tries to fight him inside there, they will lose instantly, as it is his perfect universe).

And if things still don't go his way...well... I have this as a plot that his perfect universe is actually a mobile fortress and that he only uses it as a final resort. The universe, nicknamed 'Ozzy', will be used to crush the Gensokyo dwellers' universe, thus obliterating them. The universe and the other universe colliding each other will create a massive shockwave proportional to a Big Bang, but since this character's universe is a mobile being AND he can manipulate it, he can alter the speeds, thus, he can make the shock wave proportional to a light jab at the back to as powerful as an infinite Bing Bang storm.

But I'd probably have some rough ideas that the universe Gensokyo is in is kinda special, thus making it harder to crush it.

Anyway, moving on with the plot, as the story goes, I thought that Suika, Yukari and Yuuka would team up in defeating the OC. At this stage, they would probably near the entrance of the OC's universe. I was thinking of Suika battling with the OC in epic proportions and that they're very titanic in size. I also thought that Yukari could wrap up her border around Suika's fist and when Suika gets her fist close to the OC's face, Yukari opens another border, Yuuka gets in and using Nitori's gadgets (and a radiation blast from Utsuho as a speed enhancer), blast off into the face of the OC in which she gives the most devasting blow she can ever give to a man using her fist!

Thus, matching her power with the OC! The OC will then be not satisfied and get into his perfect universe, in where he will try to ram it into their universe! Then... (let me think first, will explain later in later posts :derp:)

This is the best discussion ever. Every post since Kuroi needs to be LSed.

LSed? What does that mean? ???
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 12, 2010, 06:39:57 AM
Well, time to expand this OC's power list.

Let's see. I was thinking of making the OC have the natural ability of the power to repair items/himself within his radius. 'Repair' in his mind is to 'restore things that is thought to be its former glory', so he can repair just almost anything, only withdraw with this power is that he can't repair things he seen for the first time that are broken (Let's say he found a broken tractor, he can't repair it because he'd only seen it once, and he never saw the tractor when it was in it's best shape). Also, this thing is automatic, so other than being immortal, he can repair his wounds quick.

And also things that he owns in particular (such as the Labyrinth Accelerator) can still work even after being destroyed. Everything he owns is actually, spirits! Breaking the Accelerator would only mean it has no physical manifestation, thus, it can still work, even without the vessel.

Also, if things get too rough on the neutral limbo, I was thinking that he would transport the enemy and himself to the ends of the universe, where the path to HIS universe exists. Unfortunately, he can only take them as far as the entrance into his own universe (in which if any person tries to fight him inside there, they will lose instantly, as it is his perfect universe).

And if things still don't go his way...well... I have this as a plot that his perfect universe is actually a mobile fortress and that he only uses it as a final resort. The universe, nicknamed 'Ozzy', will be used to crush the Gensokyo dwellers' universe, thus obliterating them. The universe and the other universe colliding each other will create a massive shockwave proportional to a Big Bang, but since this character's universe is a mobile being AND he can manipulate it, he can alter the speeds, thus, he can make the shock wave proportional to a light jab at the back to as powerful as an infinite Bing Bang storm.

But I'd probably have some rough ideas that the universe Gensokyo is in is kinda special, thus making it harder to crush it.

Anyway, moving on with the plot, as the story goes, I thought that Suika, Yukari and Yuuka would team up in defeating the OC. At this stage, they would probably near the entrance of the OC's universe. I was thinking of Suika battling with the OC in epic proportions and that they're very titanic in size. I also thought that Yukari could wrap up her border around Suika's fist and when Suika gets her fist close to the OC's face, Yukari opens another border, Yuuka gets in and using Nitori's gadgets (and a radiation blast from Utsuho as a speed enhancer), blast off into the face of the OC in which she gives the most devasting blow she can ever give to a man using her fist!

Thus, matching her power with the OC! The OC will then be not satisfied and get into his perfect universe, in where he will try to ram it into their universe! Then... (let me think first, will explain later in later posts :derp:)

LSed? What does that mean? ???

I’m curious too, never saw the LS acronym before and when I looked it up I came up empty. I’m also curious why you are making your OC this powerful. I agree that you may need to make it a group battle at this rate.

Shinki would be high on my list of people to face this OC. She created her own world from scrach as well. And she would know best whether someone could be invincible in their own dimension or not, as well as the source of said persons invincibility.

__________________

From here on I’m mostly responding to your OC as a challenge. Trying to beat him is a lot of fun, and I'll pull out all the stops:

With Flandre, I'm not sure making something simply into spirits would actually protect it from her. See, her ability is to, from any range, grab the 'eye' of anything, and crush it in her palm. Some might say that she crushes objects by crushing there spirit.

At this stage, a supreme version of Sakuya seems to be the best opponent for your OC. Manipulation of space and time that extends to whatever objects she chooses (as evidenced by the fact that the Scarlet Devil Mansion is bigger on the inside than the outside), and does so permanently. This all goes under the theory that Sakuya’s time based abilities – placed to the max, exceed even the talents of Yukari. Ability to slow time to go with the ability to speed it up implemented onto the OC will let Yuuka do some very nasty things before he can respond. Or if Sakuya is alone, she could stop time, stab the OC repeatedly in the head, wait for him to be almost healed, and repeat; so that the character never gets an oportunity during which his brain works. A localized time stop may even last long enough for the full moon to come and Keine to rewriting history so that you character never discovers Gensokyo. In the mean time. Keine would probably be concealing a lot of history. However, even if she can't localize the time stop around the OC, the weapons the OC weilds have a good chance that their repair could be slowed and space manipulated much like the dimensions of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, or worse, the weapons copied much like Sakuya is thought to copy her knives.

Koishi Komeiji has complete manipulation of the subconscious. Her ability makes her the ultimate assassin, as it’s a type of psychic invisibility that lets her conceal anything, since she herself can steal your food without you realizing it. Utilizing her would probably protect the residents that aren't as good at combat, but are extremely effective at taking out threats indirectly. Or, since there's only one mind to deal with, she could even simply place Gensokyo into the OC's subconscious, thus protecting the country by removing it from the OC's mind.


_______________

However, I think we can expand the ambiguous powers of touhou characters even more now that we have a Sue hardy enough to handle it.

A lot of touhou characters have a lot of abilities that are very ambiguous and get around the direct method. For example, Keine could hypothetically protect the world of Gensokyo from anything by rewriting the history of the thing if she can last until the full moon, so that the OC never encounters the universe. Remilia will most likely make sure Gensokyo’s fate is safe. Reimu interestingly has a spell card that lets her transcend reality, making her invincible.
From touhou wiki:

Fantasy Heaven
“Supreme Master-Arts by any means. With Reimu's ability to float, she floats from everything in reality and becomes invincible.
If it wasn't just for play (with time limit), no one could beat her with any method.”

 The only way to beat it is timeout, but timeout is exclusive to spell cards and not to general battle, depending on interpretation.

Not yet fully expanded ramblings: Fujiwara no Mokou also has an interesting card call “possessed by phoenix” for, well, possessing people, and then there’s Yuugi Hoshiguma’s incredibly ambiguous power of control over supernatural phenomenon. Since a lot of your character's abilities play on the supernatural, this could give Yuugi quite an edge.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 12, 2010, 11:19:01 AM
I?m curious too, never saw the LS acronym before and when I looked it up I came up empty. I?m also curious why you are making your OC this powerful. I agree that you may need to make it a group battle at this rate.

Shinki would be high on my list of people to face this OC. She created her own world from scrach as well. And she would know best whether someone could be invincible in their own dimension or not, as well as the source of said persons invincibility.

__________________

From here on I?m mostly responding to your OC as a challenge. Trying to beat him is a lot of fun, and I'll pull out all the stops:

With Flandre, I'm not sure making something simply into spirits would actually protect it from her. See, her ability is to, from any range, grab the 'eye' of anything, and crush it in her palm. Some might say that she crushes objects by crushing there spirit.

At this stage, a supreme version of Sakuya seems to be the best opponent for your OC. Manipulation of space and time that extends to whatever objects she chooses (as evidenced by the fact that the Scarlet Devil Mansion is bigger on the inside than the outside), and does so permanently. This all goes under the theory that Sakuya?s time based abilities ? placed to the max, exceed even the talents of Yukari. Ability to slow time to go with the ability to speed it up implemented onto the OC will let Yuuka do some very nasty things before he can respond. Or if Sakuya is alone, she could stop time, stab the OC repeatedly in the head, wait for him to be almost healed, and repeat; so that the character never gets an oportunity during which his brain works. A localized time stop may even last long enough for the full moon to come and Keine to rewriting history so that you character never discovers Gensokyo. In the mean time. Keine would probably be concealing a lot of history. However, even if she can't localize the time stop around the OC, the weapons the OC weilds have a good chance that their repair could be slowed and space manipulated much like the dimensions of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, or worse, the weapons copied much like Sakuya is thought to copy her knives.

Koishi Komeiji has complete manipulation of the subconscious. Her ability makes her the ultimate assassin, as it?s a type of psychic invisibility that lets her conceal anything, since she herself can steal your food without you realizing it. Utilizing her would probably protect the residents that aren't as good at combat, but are extremely effective at taking out threats indirectly. Or, since there's only one mind to deal with, she could even simply place Gensokyo into the OC's subconscious, thus protecting the country by removing it from the OC's mind.


_______________

However, I think we can expand the ambiguous powers of touhou characters even more now that we have a Sue hardy enough to handle it.

A lot of touhou characters have a lot of abilities that are very ambiguous and get around the direct method. For example, Keine could hypothetically protect the world of Gensokyo from anything by rewriting the history of the thing if she can last until the full moon, so that the OC never encounters the universe. Remilia will most likely make sure Gensokyo?s fate is safe. Reimu interestingly has a spell card that lets her transcend reality, making her invincible.
From touhou wiki:

Fantasy Heaven
?Supreme Master-Arts by any means. With Reimu's ability to float, she floats from everything in reality and becomes invincible.
If it wasn't just for play (with time limit), no one could beat her with any method.?

 The only way to beat it is timeout, but timeout is exclusive to spell cards and not to general battle, depending on interpretation.

Not yet fully expanded ramblings: Fujiwara no Mokou also has an interesting card call ?possessed by phoenix? for, well, possessing people, and then there?s Yuugi Hoshiguma?s incredibly ambiguous power of control over supernatural phenomenon. Since a lot of your character's abilities play on the supernatural, this could give Yuugi quite an edge.

Well, let me see, seems like the OC needs more specific detailed explanations on his abilities ( or maybe I could just give him more power-ups  :derp:).

So yeah, Flandre has the ability to crush anything, and within your definition, she can crush spirits as well, yes? I don't think the OC needs a powerup up for this, I'll just assume the OC 'plays' with Flandre a bit, gets crushed and realizes that she's doing it with her hands and well, blow off her arm or  put her hand into the Labyrinth Accelerator device and warp her hands elsewhere in Gensokyo/universe while locking her wrists to the Labyrinth Accelerator (while pulling another one out from the Labyrinth Accelerator). I assume that it takes time for the 'eye' of the object/thing to get into her hands so... yeah. It'll take time before Flandre can crush him again. (But you'll probably say, "Well, what if the 'eye' of the object can go through the time rift that the Labyrinth Accelerator created?", I'll just assume the 'eye' energy doesn't perceive time rifts very well and takes the long way home when going to her hands. I'll also assume that the 'eye' is as light as gas and travels at the same speed of gas as well)

For Keine well, the moon thing might work if they're still in Gensokyo, but at the ends of the universe, don't think so.

Sakuya seems like a good opponent too, but all that stabbing might just break the orb that's kept inside his head and literally cause the universe to die in an explosion equivalent to 12 alternate universes. Also I didn't specify where was the orb too and thus, I've decided it should be in the middle of the head (and, heeeereeee comes a little power boost :derp:), and that the orb will break into 12 smaller pieces (automatically if penetration/serious damaged has occured to the brain) and spread throughout his brain. The damaged caused by the spreading will be healed and the orbs become even more fragile to Sakuya's stabbing.


Koishi's trick of making my OC subconsciously deny Gensokyo can be easily dealt with by synchronizing with his former self's subconscious and his by taking anything he's forgotten (or subconsciously closed his eyes upon) back into his mind.

Reimu's spell card has an interesting flaw with it. If she transcends reality, does that mean she transcend into a higher plane of reality or just move onto a different plane of reality (that makes her invincble)? Because if it's the latter, my OC could easily deal with her on her plane of reality (this shouldn't be a problem since he can traverse multiverses and what not). If it's the former, well, my OC might not be able to kill or hit her, but he can't die as well since he cannot die in any plane of reality.

Mokou can possess my character? Sure. Go ahead. If that happens, it's either the ghost calls in backup using the Labyrinth Accelerator and make the past/future selves synchronize with the posessed OC  (thus making her obtaining their subconscious and obtain his powers as well). But as soon as they synchronize, two things might happen:

1) Mokou's mind will be broken as there are now 3 subconsciousness in her mind and they're all fighting over to whoever gets control of the body. Seeing as how Mokou is still human-like in thinking, this will make her turn retarded.

2) Mokou's posession will be expelled from the OC's body and thus making her power ineffective. (As a sadistic way of ending it, after Mokou has been expelled, the OC can summon two more of his selves and half-synchronize Mokou on each side. This will result in an incomplete synchronization and will end up with the body's immune system fighting off the other bodies' immune systems. Mokou will also have her mind broken (but not as badly as she's half-synchronized with the two) and she will become frail and weak. It's just like an immortal having AIDS and schizo at the same time! :derp:)

One question about Yuugi, does her power reaches to spiritual planes as well? If it doesn't, it instantly makes her a dead target.

Shinki should be praised highly as I see. But my OC has traveled in other universes and killed other Gods, of course, Shinki would be no problem to deal with, unless she has an amazing power that none of the Gods this OC has killed.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: trancehime on December 12, 2010, 02:14:43 PM
For the uninformed, "LS" stands for Lecture Series, which is this board (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/board,19.0.html).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on December 12, 2010, 06:31:20 PM
Anyways, I'd wondered how would the strongest of Gensokyo fight off such a person...I just need ideas to make it seem interesting
I'm afraid the only way you'll get an interesting story out of that is scrapping your OC.  Currently you're writing around him, instead of writing a story.  That will never be interesting.  Even if your story ends up being about several people from Gensoukyo teaming up to defeat a powerful threat, it should focus on the people from Gensoukyo and the teaming up juat as much as the threat.  And it should definitely be mostly from the viewpoints of the protagonists, not the villains.

Quote
(also, to be the first fanfiction in history to defeat a Mary Sue. :derp:)
The only way to defeat a Mary Sue is to make fun of them.  Making a Mary Sue the villian just means you have a boring Mary Sue villian.  And that never flies.  People won't bother reading it to see how he fails, they'll just write it off as a bad story and move on.

Really, given how stupidly overpowered Touhou characters are, I think it might be fair to say that if you make a character that can't be defeated by at least one of the exisiting cast members, you've probably gone too far.

I'd would suggest you take a step back and rexamine why you're writing, and think about whether people who don't start with an interest in your OC would want to read it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 12, 2010, 06:48:36 PM
For the uninformed, "LS" stands for Lecture Series, which is this board (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/board,19.0.html).

I'd love to, but I don't have new topic power there.

Well, let me see, seems like the OC needs more specific detailed explanations on his abilities ( or maybe I could just give him more power-ups  :derp:).

So yeah, Flandre has the ability to crush anything, and within your definition, she can crush spirits as well, yes? I don't think the OC needs a powerup up for this, I'll just assume the OC 'plays' with Flandre a bit, gets crushed and realizes that she's doing it with her hands and well, blow off her arm or  put her hand into the Labyrinth Accelerator device and warp her hands elsewhere in Gensokyo/universe while locking her wrists to the Labyrinth Accelerator (while pulling another one out from the Labyrinth Accelerator). I assume that it takes time for the 'eye' of the object/thing to get into her hands so... yeah. It'll take time before Flandre can crush him again. (But you'll probably say, "Well, what if the 'eye' of the object can go through the time rift that the Labyrinth Accelerator created?", I'll just assume the 'eye' energy doesn't perceive time rifts very well and takes the long way home when going to her hands. I'll also assume that the 'eye' is as light as gas and travels at the same speed of gas as well)

For Keine well, the moon thing might work if they're still in Gensokyo, but at the ends of the universe, don't think so.

Sakuya seems like a good opponent too, but all that stabbing might just break the orb that's kept inside his head and literally cause the universe to die in an explosion equivalent to 12 alternate universes. Also I didn't specify where was the orb too and thus, I've decided it should be in the middle of the head (and, heeeereeee comes a little power boost :derp:), and that the orb will break into 12 smaller pieces (automatically if penetration/serious damaged has occured to the brain) and spread throughout his brain. The damaged caused by the spreading will be healed and the orbs become even more fragile to Sakuya's stabbing.


Koishi's trick of making my OC subconsciously deny Gensokyo can be easily dealt with by synchronizing with his former self's subconscious and his by taking anything he's forgotten (or subconsciously closed his eyes upon) back into his mind.

Reimu's spell card has an interesting flaw with it. If she transcends reality, does that mean she transcend into a higher plane of reality or just move onto a different plane of reality (that makes her invincble)? Because if it's the latter, my OC could easily deal with her on her plane of reality (this shouldn't be a problem since he can traverse multiverses and what not). If it's the former, well, my OC might not be able to kill or hit her, but he can't die as well since he cannot die in any plane of reality.

Mokou can possess my character? Sure. Go ahead. If that happens, it's either the ghost calls in backup using the Labyrinth Accelerator and make the past/future selves synchronize with the posessed OC  (thus making her obtaining their subconscious and obtain his powers as well). But as soon as they synchronize, two things might happen:

1) Mokou's mind will be broken as there are now 3 subconsciousness in her mind and they're all fighting over to whoever gets control of the body. Seeing as how Mokou is still human-like in thinking, this will make her turn retarded.

2) Mokou's posession will be expelled from the OC's body and thus making her power ineffective. (As a sadistic way of ending it, after Mokou has been expelled, the OC can summon two more of his selves and half-synchronize Mokou on each side. This will result in an incomplete synchronization and will end up with the body's immune system fighting off the other bodies' immune systems. Mokou will also have her mind broken (but not as badly as she's half-synchronized with the two) and she will become frail and weak. It's just like an immortal having AIDS and schizo at the same time! :derp:)

One question about Yuugi, does her power reaches to spiritual planes as well? If it doesn't, it instantly makes her a dead target.

Shinki should be praised highly as I see. But my OC has traveled in other universes and killed other Gods, of course, Shinki would be no problem to deal with, unless she has an amazing power that none of the Gods this OC has killed.

Nice counter. I'm actually not sure what "supernatural phenomenon" is, but since there are lots of spirits in Gensokyo, and Yuugi lives in Hell, I would say yes. There are lots of oni, and the only two we've seen are extremely powerful even by Gensokyo standards but tend to care more about partying than fighting. (edit: Since another name for oni in Gensokyo is "supernatural phenomenon", it might be another way of saying that she rules the Oni. However, she also displays control over spirits and Youkai during her battle, when she continue to fight between the midboss and the end boss phase while summoning the stage spirits.) I don't think Keine would go to the end of the universe, if she could conceal her history to avoid it. She has an essential role to fulfill within Gensokyo that requires her not to fight the OC. And I'm not sure if Koishi could simply extend her ability a bit to make him subconsciously forget about some of his weapons, or affect the subconsciousness of the synchronized forms.

For now I select Yuyuko Saigyouji.

She has the power to kill anyone, and then manipulate the dead according to Perfect Memento in Strict Sense. In other words, total control over the spirit world. While she can not kill your character due to his immortality (canonically confirmed), this allows for three things:

1. She has total control over the omnipotent ghost being that serves as his power source.
2. She has total control over the dead gods he can summon, since that's her ability.
3. She has total control over the spirits of his weapons, since we now confirmed that everything he owns is spirits.

I'm afraid the only way you'll get an interesting story out of that is scrapping your OC.  Currently you're writing around him, instead of writing a story.  That will never be interesting.  Even if your story ends up being about several people from Gensoukyo teaming up to defeat a powerful threat, it should focus on the people from Gensoukyo and the teaming up juat as much as the threat.  And it should definitely be mostly from the viewpoints of the protagonists, not the villains.
The only way to defeat a Mary Sue is to make fun of them.  Making a Mary Sue the villian just means you have a boring Mary Sue villian.  And that never flies.  People won't bother reading it to see how he fails, they'll just write it off as a bad story and move on.

Really, given how stupidly overpowered Touhou characters are, I think it might be fair to say that if you make a character that can't be defeated by at least one of the exisiting cast members, you've probably gone too far.

I'd would suggest you take a step back and rexamine why you're writing, and think about whether people who don't start with an interest in your OC would want to read it.

I mostly agree with this philosophy, but I'm kinda curious about whether an OC can be too powerful for Touhou. I would find a story examining whether there exists an OC that can break the touhou verse at its best exists. But if it were me, I would need a second author; one to maximize the OC while there other maximizes touhou. In other words, I find this discussion itself would make an interesting story, more so than the story itself.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Suikama on December 12, 2010, 06:51:58 PM
This is the best discussion ever. Every post since Kuroi needs to be LSed.
:moogy:

[ruro]Guys. Drop the mockery. Now. Not gonna ask nicely again.[/ruro]
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kuroi on December 13, 2010, 02:21:46 AM
I'm afraid the only way you'll get an interesting story out of that is scrapping your OC.  Currently you're writing around him, instead of writing a story.  That will never be interesting.  Even if your story ends up being about several people from Gensoukyo teaming up to defeat a powerful threat, it should focus on the people from Gensoukyo and the teaming up juat as much as the threat.  And it should definitely be mostly from the viewpoints of the protagonists, not the villains.
The only way to defeat a Mary Sue is to make fun of them.  Making a Mary Sue the villian just means you have a boring Mary Sue villian.  And that never flies.  People won't bother reading it to see how he fails, they'll just write it off as a bad story and move on.

Really, given how stupidly overpowered Touhou characters are, I think it might be fair to say that if you make a character that can't be defeated by at least one of the exisiting cast members, you've probably gone too far.

I'd would suggest you take a step back and rexamine why you're writing, and think about whether people who don't start with an interest in your OC would want to read it.

Well, I really didn't plan writing a story on it (haven't been writing fiction for years other than the ones in school tests...). It just seemed like a fun idea to get my brain juices flowing (also I keep imagining the scenes in my head as an anime, so it doesn't really work well in written form). :]

At first I thought that 'Hey this could actually...' and then when I came to the idea of 'Labyrinth Accelerator and summoning dead gods', I went 'Maybe not'.  :derp:


Nice counter. I'm actually not sure what "supernatural phenomenon" is, but since there are lots of spirits in Gensokyo, and Yuugi lives in Hell, I would say yes. There are lots of oni, and the only two we've seen are extremely powerful even by Gensokyo standards but tend to care more about partying than fighting. (edit: Since another name for oni in Gensokyo is "supernatural phenomenon", it might be another way of saying that she rules the Oni. However, she also displays control over spirits and Youkai during her battle, when she continue to fight between the midboss and the end boss phase while summoning the stage spirits.) I don't think Keine would go to the end of the universe, if she could conceal her history to avoid it. She has an essential role to fulfill within Gensokyo that requires her not to fight the OC. And I'm not sure if Koishi could simply extend her ability a bit to make him subconsciously forget about some of his weapons, or affect the subconsciousness of the synchronized forms.

For now I select Yuyuko Saigyouji.

She has the power to kill anyone, and then manipulate the dead according to Perfect Memento in Strict Sense. In other words, total control over the spirit world. While she can not kill your character due to his immortality (canonically confirmed), this allows for three things:

1. She has total control over the omnipotent ghost being that serves as his power source.
2. She has total control over the dead gods he can summon, since that's her ability.
3. She has total control over the spirits of his weapons, since we now confirmed that everything he owns is spirits.



I almost wanted to give in, but then I thought.... Okay, Yuyuko can control ghosts, but can she control omnipotent ghosts? There's a reason why it's omnipotent. Also, let's assume everything this OC has is otherworldly/universely-unparallel in composition. Okay, so yes, they might call it a 'ghost', but it since (assuming that) the things he have are all from alternate universes, surely the general composition of these ghosts are well, not the same, thus, not matching Yuyuko's criteria of complete dominance over them.

I don't know about controlling dead gods tho, since if he actually summons them from the dead, they are then in the same plane of reality with all the other characters. I guess they can be controlled by Yuyuko since the dead deities have synchronized within the plain through the OC's powers, but then, he can just synchronize half of them and try to overtake the domination influence on the dead gods using the omnipotent ghost's abilities.

And since it's called the 'supernatural', I'm guessing it's control over something natural only in ambiguous and exaggerated form, yes? He can still counterattack them still...

And you do know I'm just gonna counter whatever you say since there's no logic in what we're talking about right? :derp: The Touhou characters, despite being batshit insane in terms of power level, will eventually reach their limit as you try to maximize their powers. Also, I see a lack of technique when you're answering me - you don't use much distinctions of tactic when you say their powers. Actually, you're just pretty much telling me their powers but you're telling me how are they gonna counter one of my OC's powers. (The only noticeable ones I've seen are Keine and Koishi) I can just maximize my character since he has no definition of a base power and all the ' ALTERNATE UNIVERSES HURRR' talk and definitions are generally gonna fuck up the whole entire discussion/debate. It's fun doing these once in awhile tho.  :V

Quote
I mostly agree with this philosophy, but I'm kinda curious about whether an OC can be too powerful for Touhou. I would find a story examining whether there exists an OC that can break the touhou verse at its best exists. But if it were me, I would need a second author; one to maximize the OC while there other maximizes touhou. In other words, I find this discussion itself would make an interesting story, more so than the story itself.

I find it interesting too. :V

I also thought that I might give this plot a chance if no one in Gensokyo gets to defeat him (HAHAHAHA, okay, bad joke...)

Anyway, in this discussion I've found a somewhat another plot about Touhou fiction.

Story #1:
I thought of making a story about ZUN and that he never really got a chance to make Touhou 13. Then as the story progresses, I thought of making my character go and after a chain of events, become friends with ZUN. Then the story details about their living lives, about their hopes and dreams of what Touhou 13 COULD have been. I'm trying to make it sound like a Touhou version of Mitch Albom's works (the guy's such a wonderful writer!). And in the end, ZUN dies and finally, after a few long weeks of depression and speculation, my character dies. As he is dead, he then... ( I might actually put the end if I make it :V)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ryuu on December 13, 2010, 02:47:07 AM
(also I keep imagining the scenes in my head as an anime, so it doesn't really work well in written form).

everything I've ever written would like to have a word with you
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 13, 2010, 03:48:28 AM

I almost wanted to give in, but then I thought.... Okay, Yuyuko can control ghosts, but can she control omnipotent ghosts? There's a reason why it's omnipotent. Also, let's assume everything this OC has is otherworldly/universely-unparallel in composition. Okay, so yes, they might call it a 'ghost', but it since (assuming that) the things he have are all from alternate universes, surely the general composition of these ghosts are well, not the same, thus, not matching Yuyuko's criteria of complete dominance over them.

I don't know about controlling dead gods tho, since if he actually summons them from the dead, they are then in the same plane of reality with all the other characters. I guess they can be controlled by Yuyuko since the dead deities have synchronized within the plain through the OC's powers, but then, he can just synchronize half of them and try to overtake the domination influence on the dead gods using the omnipotent ghost's abilities.

And since it's called the 'supernatural', I'm guessing it's control over something natural only in ambiguous and exaggerated form, yes? He can still counterattack them still...

And you do know I'm just gonna counter whatever you say since there's no logic in what we're talking about right? :derp: The Touhou characters, despite being batshit insane in terms of power level, will eventually reach their limit as you try to maximize their powers. Also, I see a lack of technique when you're answering me - you don't use much distinctions of tactic when you say their powers. Actually, you're just pretty much telling me their powers but you're telling me how are they gonna counter one of my OC's powers. (The only noticeable ones I've seen are Keine and Koishi) I can just maximize my character since he has no definition of a base power and all the ' ALTERNATE UNIVERSES HURRR' talk and definitions are generally gonna fuck up the whole entire discussion/debate. It's fun doing these once in awhile tho.  :V

I find it interesting too. :V

I also thought that I might give this plot a chance if no one in Gensokyo gets to defeat him (HAHAHAHA, okay, bad joke...)

Anyway, in this discussion I've found a somewhat another plot about Touhou fiction.

Story #1:
I thought of making a story about ZUN and that he never really got a chance to make Touhou 13. Then as the story progresses, I thought of making my character go and after a chain of events, become friends with ZUN. Then the story details about their living lives, about their hopes and dreams of what Touhou 13 COULD have been. I'm trying to make it sound like a Touhou version of Mitch Albom's works (the guy's such a wonderful writer!). And in the end, ZUN dies and finally, after a few long weeks of depression and speculation, my character dies. As he is dead, he then... ( I might actually put the end if I make it :V)
If you say that a power doesn't work on your character simply because you don't want it to, I'm going to disagree. There are many, many "alternate universes" within the touhou verse, and I assume that your character is from an alternate universe that exists. Therefore, a diety is a touhou diety and a ghost is a touhou ghost, regardless of which alternate touhou realm he comes from. Furthermore, since the powers of touhou are absolute, I do believe that your ghost is in fact a ghost, and Yuyuko has total power to manipulate the dead, it can be manipulated by Yuyuko.

However, I still have a few characters I can use. I'm assuming that this guy has a lot of sins to account for, so I propose Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, judge of the dead. Everyone who has ever died has been either judged by a Yama, or has defeated their shinigami. However, the judges should suffice.

One of Shikieiki's explicit abilities is to beat people with the weight of their own sins. Taken completely literally, this would be the combined weight of the universes that were destroyed, but even non-literally in the OC's case, it will hurt due to the countless people/gods/universes he has taken out. Note that the sins are determined purely by the yama's discretion. It also indicates that Shikieiki is at least strong enough to hold the rod. Another ability she weilds lets her summon danmaku from hell, to simply power her way through any confrontation.

Her power is to cast judgement, and execute this judgement, on anyone who appears before her. She is very good at her job and, if she judges the character to be in sin, she will simply judge that he should go to hell.

While your character has the power of pocket dimensions embedded in his skull, and is really good at sending people to other plains of existence, Shikieiki
does this hundreds if not thousands of times a day. Hell is her version of your pocket dimension in which her judgments are absolute, her power unquestionable, her decisions final. And you don't have to be dead to be sent to hell in touhou. (note that there are many hells in touhou; I am not referencing the former hell).

I'm not specific for a reason; if I get specific, then I would be limiting the power of the characters I mention. Some of the powers of touhou characters are inherently limitless. Sure, give your character control over multiple universes; but if Remilia says something won't happen, it won't and if Sakuya stops your time it's stopped. Part of the reason immortality even can exist is because the immortals still die; otherwise they would be in contradiction with Yuyuko's absolute control over death.

EDIT: I guess I can use a tactic: Remilia fates that the OC's time is stopped by Sakuya. Sakuya stops the time. On the full moon, Keine erases the OC while his time is still stopped.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on December 13, 2010, 05:49:25 AM
Touhou - Phantasmagoria of the Poor Man's Cubicle

Meet Yamada Mochizuka. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pT1PzechnU&feature=related)

One of the fresh new employees to begin work at the Yamaxandu branch of the immense corperation known as Higan Inc. This was the largest and busiest businesses in all of Gensokyo, having many different branches that are all tied to the same purpose, and all follow the order of the head honcho who resides at the core of the company, the Enma-o Branch. The hours are long, but it pays well in both money and character. Yamada himself is no one special, he's a fairly average guy fresh out of college and now set to begin his career in the work force by working a somewhat hum drum life at a desk job within the office of the Yamaxandu Branch. He doesn't quite understand what they really do but he knows it involves 'dealing with records regarding those dearly departed'.

Seems simple enough, yes?

It would be had it not been for the fact that he was the only human working alongside a cornicopia of youkai and other supernatural creatures of mythology. Many of these including, but not limited to a cat-girl janitor who's an implied necrophiliac, the supervisor who is also the grim reaper that
reaped the soul of your cat 'Mr. Puffnstuff'
...and a boss who has the ultimate say in whether your immortal soul goes to either heaven, hell or is reincarnated for a second chance at life.

...Yeah, today's going to be pretty swell, itsn't it Yamada?

"...Maybe I should get another jo-?"

Of course it is! You gotta job at the most respected(?) company in all of Gensokyo. It's importance spanning just as far as the concept of death can reach. Think about it, if you work hard and please the boss, you could get promoted to being a 'Shinigami'!

Everyone likes Prrrrromotions!

Oh and try not to die; as strange as it sounds, these guys don't give you life insurance.

"... :ohdear:"

(...I had way too much fun with writing this...)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 13, 2010, 02:46:15 PM
I loves this idea. If you do this, will they be competing with Borders Incorporated?

Many of these including, but not limited to a cat-girl janitor who's an implied necrophiliac, the supervisor who is also the grim reaper that
reaped the soul of your cat 'Mr. Puffnstuff'
...and a boss who has the ultimate say in whether your immortal soul goes to either heaven, hell or is reincarnated for a second chance at life.

NOOOO! NOT MR. PUFFNSTUFF!

Keep the janitor away from him!
  :ohdear:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on December 13, 2010, 04:02:34 PM
Probably. This was just an idea I got due to seeing a fair amount of shows focusing on life in the office or has something pretaining to that. I do plan on writing it sometime in the near future being I want to see how this sorta thing will work out.

It seems like it'll be alot of fun given how much of a blast I had just writing out that summary :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 15, 2010, 11:47:09 PM
I'm working on a pokemon-touhou crossover, and I think it's going to be pretty good from the point of view of touhou fans.

However, Pokemon fans will cry foul on a lot of counts. For one, I tend to make assumptions about my audience for the sake of pacing, so things that are obvious to a fan of one might seem sudden and without warning to a fan of the other. Such as pokemon descriptions and details about the character's appearances. I need a strategy for when I introduce characters and pokemon.

This leads to the more pressing concern - the characters I'm using, Mokou and Cirno, could quickly become Mary Sues in the pokemon world. They have powers that no other trainer has. Now, there are a lot of fashion victims in pokemon so I might be able to hand wave their appearance. But since they do have supernatural abilities, I need some strategies to make those supernatural abilities known without the pokemon fans justifiably hating the characters. Or I need to make the characters likable/interesting to a pokemon fan, rather than having the characters appear to be self inserts that the author gives new powers without warning, like ice and immortality.

If neither of those options work, I at least need to give the fans of the pokemon side something they would want to read. Suggestions?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Moerin on December 16, 2010, 07:26:05 PM
Bare in mind, Bruno
Spars with Pokemon that can
Break mountains in half.

And Sabrina has
Powerful psychic... Powers.
Supernatural

Abilities should
Not seem too farfetch'd, but you
Could always nerf them

A little if you
Really think they'd be too strong.
Just... Bare that in mind.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 22, 2010, 01:04:06 AM
Bare in mind, Bruno
Spars with Pokemon that can
Break mountains in half.

And Sabrina has
Powerful psychic... Powers.
Supernatural

Abilities should
Not seem too farfetch'd, but you
Could always nerf them

A little if you
Really think they'd be too strong.
Just... Bare that in mind.

I bore it in mind, and I found a direction to take that idea.

Trainers in pokemon are really tough.

I think I could use some title ideas since everyone who has commented assumed the story would be so bad it's good, and were surprised when it was just plain good. But I think I have a direction for the story now.

EDIT: thanks for the inspiration.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Smallfry on January 05, 2011, 05:31:28 AM
Maybe I'll do a more comical retelling of some of the games?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on January 10, 2011, 09:33:30 PM
How do you guys decide on chapter order and whether or not to release chapters?

Right now I'm several chapters ahead in one of my stories, but I might not be able to release them yet because if I mess up the chronology, I can't go back and fix it. I'm trying to decide whether I should release the chapters or not, so I'm curious how most you guys decide whether the chapter should be released, or if you need another one before it?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on January 10, 2011, 10:03:35 PM
Right now I'm several chapters ahead in one of my stories, but I might not be able to release them yet because if I mess up the chronology, I can't go back and fix it. I'm trying to decide whether I should release the chapters or not, so I'm curious how most you guys decide whether the chapter should be released, or if you need another one before it?
This rarely happens because I'm such a lazy ass of a writer that I update as I go and never have chapters in reserve for later release.

There has been one exception: the intermission in the first part of White Rose, which was written in a separate document because it kept coming to my mind and wouldn't let me work on the actual timeline, but at the same time I kept because I thought it could be useful later. When I finally got to the part where that work became the intermission, I just posted good-sized chunks of it every Wednesday until I ran out and started looking like a lazy writer again.

As for messing up the chronology, worry about that later. You can always fix it with the help of readers, who generally love pointing out how you've ruined everything by including such and such and scrutinizing your rushed work too closely. BV

Or on the other hand, anachronistic order is sometimes useful for throwing off readers, making them expect things that you'll eventually twist when you fill in the blanks.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 10, 2011, 10:30:36 PM
Anyone available for beta-reading? I've actually finished the latest chapter of Different Story of an Eastern Wonderland (http://dizzy.pestermom.com/?p=diffstory). :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on January 21, 2011, 04:55:11 AM
Something I notice about Yukari stories is that Yukari is pretty much able to do whatever she wants. Because her ability is extended to conceptual boundaries rather than just physical ones, she is the ultimate source of Deus ex Machina in touhou. Since she can do literally anything, anything that she can't do becomes a plot hole in her stories, on top of the fact that the mere existence of a character that can nullify the actions of all the other characters combined can really break stories. It makes her very, very hard to use well.

So I'm rather curious how to do Yukari well. My solution to the problem is in my backstories fic in my sig, but the short answer is that I limit her to boundaries that exist on that assumption that things that don't exist can't be manipulated. However, I am the only person who uses this limitation that I'm aware of, so I'm curious how other writers that use Yukari approach the Yukari problem.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on January 26, 2011, 08:35:48 PM
I made a pretty big mistake in one of my stories, Shoot the Moon.

Two things: even if you're treating Yatagarasu and Amaterasu as one and the same, Amaterasu is female. Second, I'm finding it REALLY hard to believe that any organization can be as idiotic as the "military" in this story, so I'm just going to chalk this story up as being absurdism and move on.

http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php?action=post;quote=537293;topic=8141.30

The problem is, the military in my story was supposed to be average, not stupid. I didn't even notice how bad I was doing it. I need to revise my story quite a bit, but I don't really know what I did wrong. Where did I mess up?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on January 26, 2011, 08:53:51 PM
Something I notice about Yukari stories is that Yukari is pretty much able to do whatever she wants. Because her ability is extended to conceptual boundaries rather than just physical ones, she is the ultimate source of Deus ex Machina in touhou. Since she can do literally anything, anything that she can't do becomes a plot hole in her stories, on top of the fact that the mere existence of a character that can nullify the actions of all the other characters combined can really break stories. It makes her very, very hard to use well.

So I'm rather curious how to do Yukari well. My solution to the problem is in my backstories fic in my sig, but the short answer is that I limit her to boundaries that exist on that assumption that things that don't exist can't be manipulated. However, I am the only person who uses this limitation that I'm aware of, so I'm curious how other writers that use Yukari approach the Yukari problem.
For me, the times I used Yukari were in the fact that she wasn't outwardly involved in the story or generally didn't seem to do much to fix a problem that arose in the story. Like in Primordial Black Pudding (my first WWC entry), Yukari
knows about the Black Pudding and states that she knows someone who can kill the eldritch mass but doesn't get off her ass to do anything as that same solution will fix the problem on it's own. Cue appearance of Orange.


For an idea pretaining to the "alternate gensokyo" I'm working on, Yukari is a hibernating eldritch colossus that slumbers within an alternate void known as "Yukarispace" (need a better name for this). 'Yukari' hasn't been seen for eons and the only time she's known to even remind the people of her existance is when "dimensional quakes" start occuring in Gensokyo which opens "gaps" for entry into Yukarispace in various locations in Gensokyo. The gaps close after a day or two and usually the abnormality between dimensions that was caused by the quake is restored to normal once the gap closes. To the people who worship Yukari as an Elder God, the dimensional quakes occur because Yukari is "snoring".

Basically, my solution to the Yukari Problem is that she usually never plays too big a role or I put her in a position where she isn't really active or mobile (like the above), and is (again) unlikely to play a big role in the story.

Course, this is just my method for dealing with things...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on January 27, 2011, 08:40:55 PM
My take on Yukari is that 1. she's too lazy to Instantly Solve Stuff, and 2. it's much more fun to watch the heroines scamper around so enthusiastically. Except, of course, in cases of really serious things like someone going out of their way to break the Spell Card rules or trying to outright threaten Gensokyo, or when she's the one starting things to begin with (i.e. Silent Sinner in blue), or she's just bored (see: the fighting games).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Conqueror on February 02, 2011, 10:06:33 PM
The (slightly silly) premise:
People have stopped believing in themselves and have become disillusioned with real world, preferring to escape into fantasy and fiction. Meanwhile, Touhou's explosive popularity has spread worldwide and has become one of the prime destinations for escapist fantasy. The result? The border between Gensokyo and the human world has been blurred, and humans and outside technology are now finding their way into Gensokyo even as youkai escape from Gensokyo to wreak more havoc upon the human world, continuing the cycle of chaos.

With this in the background, Youmu wakes up one day to find an irremovable tattoo mysteriously etched into her forearm, reading "Saber." An incident! She gets an inexplicable urge to go out and investigate, although she doesn't have any real direction or purpose. Upon going out, she finds that the human village has somehow become..."different." Meanwhile, she also discovers, to her horror, that the spell card rules are no longer in place - the laws keeping humans and youkai from killing each other in fights don't exist anymore. Power levels and caps have been lifted. Chaos and uncertainty reigns in the air, and in the meantime some regain the ability to manipulate powers they were never able to fully use before.

Basically it's free-for-all time in Gensokyo, and we have multiple warring factions, a lot of Touhous just wandering around wondering what's going on, and of course a vast conspiracy that threatens to destroy the balance of power in Gensokyo. Features 6 other characters with mysterious tattoos, a mysterious cartel with members nicknamed after the seven deadly sins, and most of the characters from EoSD to SA. Poor humans, it seems most of them will get stuck in the crossfire and die.



Unfortunately judging from my completion rate for other stories and such I will probably never get this written up. But I've had the plot planned out for months now and I figured I might as well toss this up in here to give myself some motivation.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on February 02, 2011, 10:45:21 PM
People have stopped believing in themselves and have become disillusioned with real world, preferring to escape into fantasy and fiction. Meanwhile, Touhou's explosive popularity has spread worldwide and has become one of the prime destinations for escapist fantasy. The result? The border between Gensokyo and the human world has been blurred, and humans and outside technology are now finding their way into Gensokyo even as youkai escape from Gensokyo to wreak more havoc upon the human world, continuing the cycle of chaos.
Slightly silly or not, this is probably the best excuse for merging the human world and Gensokyo I've heard in a while, especially since it sticks to Gensokyo's mechanic of running on disbelief (unless you're an iPod, apparently).

It's a bit of an F/SN crossover, I see, but this has so much potential to explore the consequences of a merge between the worlds that I implore you to not just go down the well-trod path of the usual crossover, and instead look around and see what else you can do with a plot like that. It's a very intriguing premise, so don't just limit yourself to parody.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Conqueror on February 03, 2011, 07:17:54 AM
Actually, the story was originally conceived as a "bit of everything crossover" where I stole a bunch of ideas from various works of fiction and mushed them together to create a literary mess. But over time I was able to flesh out the story with my own ideas and scrap the "borrowed" parts that didn't really fit in with the rest of the story. So a lot of the parody aspects I had in the beginning have been replaced with actual story elements, yay!

Just to give an idea of how this came about, I started out with a Battle-Royale style Gensokyo brawl, but scrapped that in favor of just a general conflict because it was too hard to plan out. I then merged this with a separate thought experiment where I chose the Touhou characters that would embody each of the seven sins (and over time these characterizations have morphed as well). Then I merged that with the F/SN style crossover (no grail though), and I threw in the plot of another short story I had also planned but never written, etc.

Exploring the merge between the two worlds is an interesting idea; I had never really thought much about it, as I had conceived the merge mostly as a plot catalyst. But I'll look at it and see if I can find more ideas coming from that direction (maybe I can merge in my "Gensokyo takes over the real world" outline, ha), as it looks like a promising gold mine of ideas. Right now my story is mainly driven by 1)  character flaws and motivations leading to conflict and 2) the general atmosphere of suspicion and chaos created by the incident.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MaxKnight on February 03, 2011, 05:53:45 PM
So I hear this is a thread where I can post an outline of a story idea and get opinions on direction and whatnot.  I don't actually have an outline prepared, as I never wrote one up for Adaptation and associated stories, but a thought occurs to me that I need an opinion on something; more specifically, on how far to take The Other Side.

You see, Adaptation only goes from Alice's first fight in Mystic Square through her fight in Perfect Cherry Blossom; it was as far as was needed to go to write about Alice's adaptation to life in Gensokyo and her acceptance from others of being a youkai rather than a human like they all thought.  This wouldn't normally be a problem other than the fact that I have ideas that stretch to further than UFO.  My biggest question being whether I should make The Other Side: An Adaptation Story end at the aftermath of Perfect Cherry Blossom and be continued in a separate story, or if it should continue past and encompass all of the other ideas I had in the same continuity within the same story.  This will also help me in putting an outline together for The Other Side, since it will tell me where I can stop.

As for a basic idea of how my mind has laid this out: this particular story kind of goes in an every other sort of way.  It starts with the events of Mystic Square and the next chapter tells of important events that transpire after that.  The next planned chapter will explore what happens during Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, followed by an aftermath chapter that leads up to, what else, a Perfect Cherry Blossom chapter.  In my mind it just keeps going back and forth, and for the events that encompass it it feeds off of what's already written in Adaptation to make the two stories work together and be expanded upon.  If I go beyond, I have ideas for things that will happen during and after IN, something taking place while PoFV is happening (but not actually the events of the game, for once; that will be more or less explained after the fact, not to mention it will make a certain lecture happen)... it just keeps going.  A major event would take place between SA and UFO (would be hinted at right towards the end of the SA chapter), and I'll likely tailor the effects of that event into UFO itself (this would potentially differ things greatly from at the least some of the canon exchanges that I've more or less tried to keep closer to as of yet).

And of course, I'd try to keep things as close to canon as reasonable, avoiding as many dumb clich?s and memes as I can.  This will be evidenced by the next chapter I write, where I break most common conventions regarding EoSD characters.  I've honestly talked too much here, and don't want to completely ruin things by talking more (if given enough leeway, I'd reveal darn near everything that I've thought up all at once and nothing will be left to be surprised about when it actually gets written).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on February 10, 2011, 03:58:09 AM
Question, Capt.

If you wrote something for yourself, with no audience to appeal to, what would you write? What could you write that would make you happy?

If you have an answer to that question, why the hell aren't you writing it?


Can’t think… Flames… burning… Ahahahahaha…Why can’t I die? And why does it make me feel so alive? Come on, burn! Burn to my core! It’s just. So. HILARIOUS! Am I some cosmic joke? Well I’m laughing now. I don’t know why. But the skin melting off my hands is just too funny! Ahaha… AHAHAHA! I must be mad. I don’t care anymore! I give in! I love this pain! I love the universe! It’s all one grand comedy, and I’m the star aren’t I? Ah, burns so bad, I can’t stop laughing! I can’t even feel my lungs, I’m not sure they’re there anymore, but I can’t stop now! Come on world, join me! Join me as I burn!



I found out later that I burned for a good month. Naturally, I’m not all with it after that. I still burn when I use fire, and it is funny. All the little people and youkai running around with their pointless problems, all of them doomed to the same fate. They’re all going to die. Except me. I came out on top against the universe. Still, it seems cruel to let their children be born. It’s better to have never been born than it is to die. And if I’m wrong, then I’m already too far along to turn back. The universe will make fools out of us no longer. Although if I do my charity, I’ll be the only one left I can laugh at.

Let’s start with this village. I was chased out of here before, and they’re in for a lesson. Ah, throwing flames burns so much. This is so much fun! I don’t think my hands are even there anymore! Come on, join in the merriment! Villagers scampering for their futile lives, mothers protecting their children. They can die by my hand, or they can die by nature, but they’re all going to die. Ha! They should be thanking me! This way, they can’t pass death to the future generations! Stop begging you whores, you’re the ones who brought those kids into the world! Though perhaps you don’t know your sin. If you knew, you’d be on my side! The smell of burnt flesh from myself and hundreds of others, it’s so refreshing! Can’t let any of them escape though. That would be cruel to the next generation of these maniacs.


_______________________________

Well, that's the beginning. Shoud I continue?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on February 15, 2011, 08:57:40 AM
A completely bat-fucking-shit insane Mokou?
Yes yes yes a thousand times yes. But as long as you have two or three chapters to WHY she went insane. Tis no fun just jumping straight into the action, no?
Anyways. An idea just hit me for a short/story/shortstory after watching a youtube video.

The day Flandre and Marisa meet was true love at first sight, Right? Well, it was love indeed, it wasn't some sort of love between a husband and wife, It was moreso the love of a child meeting her long lost mother.

So many things reminded Flandre of her long lost (to death) mother, Whom looked almost EXACTLY like Marisa. Remi of course, Knew this as well, but she and Flandre are not directly sisters. They are moreso half sisters, with Flandre being adopted in without even knowing. Whenever Flandre thinks about Marisa as her Mother, She gets quite agitated. Almost enough to "KYUU" the whole damned mansion.

Remi decides enough is enough and kicks Flandre out of the mansion, weaving Flandres fate so that she'd be able to find true peace. After "KYUU"ing half the faeries at the lake and blowing off some steam, She decides to head into the Forest of Magic, meeting Marisa picking mushrooms. Flandre was under the illusion Marisa WAS her mother, But after Marisa convincing her she wasnt, Flandre then starts crying, Moreso the fact she has nowhere to go. Marisa sighs and takes her in, teaching her how to use her magic.

Flandre slowly grows and her ability isnt exactly exploding or "KYUU"ing things, It's moreso that she has a smaller power inside her. She can stop nerve's from signaling eachother, rendering someone unable to move the effected area until a set amount of time has passed. Flandre never thought of this power before, But her "KYUU"ing was actually her enlarging her opponents nerves, forcing magic into them, therefore making them implode. For things without nerves like plates, its really just her forcing magic into it.

Marisa slowly felt a growing attachment to the child, But was also secretly afraid she could die at any second...

How's that, Eh? I cant write stories for shit, but hell I've had this idea for so damned long. But hell, it feels good to get that out.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MaxKnight on February 15, 2011, 04:10:35 PM
It's good, actually.  I enjoyed the idea presented and wouldn't mind reading it if you wrote it.

Don't be afraid to try it out; I have no natural writing talent, but continue to do so, anyways.  I find that ideas tend to nag at me for months unless I do something about them; I'm only just now understanding that anything that's worth writing about deserves to be written completely, without letting fear of how it will be read dictate what you want to write.

I'll probably post a full outline for The Other Side later, once I have time to get it fully written out; the problem with having it all in your head is that it takes time to get it out.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on February 15, 2011, 09:16:29 PM
You really think I could? Well, I guess I might write it up sooner or later in notepad, butgod knows imma fail at it. >.>
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MaxKnight on February 15, 2011, 09:29:58 PM
You won't know until you try!  That's the beauty of writing; very few people are instantly successful at it.  It takes practice to get better at writing, and it helps if people are willing to give feedback on things.

Don't fail to write or post a story because you're afraid of the feedback, either; it's actually the most important aspect of the whole process.  I just posted something over to the weekly challenge thread and someone almost immediately pointed out where I copied a line twice on accident; I seem to have this issue where even after I Ctrl-C on a new paragraph Word fails to copy what I've selected, so I when I paste into the reply window it's a repeat of the previous line.  I missed that happening once, but was informed of it after the fact, which allowed me to fix it.  While I try to keep my facts straight, if inconsistencies begin creeping in, I will always appreciate when someone points them out so I can correct them!

Anyways,while it's ultimately up to you if you want to run with it, I certainly wouldn't mind seeing where you could go with it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MaxKnight on February 25, 2011, 08:50:59 PM
So I'm finally going to get the Adaptation/Other Side outline written up and posted.  I'll be using the standard spoiler tags in case people don't want to know what I'm going to write about ahead of time (important, because there are far more future details going into this than I might have led on about before).  Next to each line like bullet points is going to be an identifier for if the line involves The Adaptation of Alice, The Other Side, or both, which can be looked at as sync points between the two stories (shared lines of dialogue, scenes that are the same but looked at from a different perspective, etc.).  I'm going to use a color scheme for these... I think I can remember once reading something about using colors and I know that some mods/other entities use alternate colors when editing others' posts to add information/corrections to them... I hope I'm not breaking any rules with this...
 
Anyways, the following will mark where I'm describing one story or the other:
(AA) - Adaptation of Alice
(OS) - Other Side
(B) - Both
 
Chapter reference (when there are two of them in the same spoiler section) go in the order of Other Side chapters/Adaptation chapters.
  That's as far as I've written so far, though I have to rewrite the first two chapters of The Other Side to fit with the newly rewritten The Adaptation of Alice.  From this point on it's future planning for chapters not yet written/rewritten (by this point, Adaptation as largely skewed away from the original, as I've changed much of the dialogue and added additional scenes that weren't originally depicted.  After two more chapters it will be finished being rewritten and anything more will be part of the original story that was only going to be told in The Other Side).
  At this point, details are starting to get fuzzy, but there are events I have planned for SA, to go between SA and UFO, and a little beyond...  Of course, the bare facts are nothing compared to actual detailed descriptions of locations, personalities, and all else that accompanies the actual written stories.  Much of what I've let on to here will have bearing on things that go beyond UFO, though I will be on the lookout for future games and if a new full game is released before I get to that point, I'll try to work it in before going off on a complete plot tangent of my own devising.
 
As you can see, I've really thought this through, though I'm going to need a little help, I think, to integrate IaMP and SWR (though SWR should be slightly easier, since there's a slightly more coherent plot to that, or so I've heard).  For those that don't mind being a little spoiled, please tell me what you think!  I know it seems long winded, but this also helps me have a bit of a reference as I write more into the story; it's certainly better than leaving it in my head and letting the details start to melt and shift. >_>
 
Edit: So I've managed to give it a little more thought, and of course the announcement of TD throws a wrench in things (at least until a full plot analysis is available).  Once we know fully what's going on in the new game, I'll be able to integrate it properly.  Now, without further hesitance, here should be the rest of the story outline (through the perceived end that I have already thought up).
 
  And that's it.  We shall see what Touhou Touchdown forces me to add, though I get the feeling it won't be all that bad, really.  For people who didn't see where it was going ahead of time, well let's just chalk that up to vague detail work in the outline, which is good since you don't want to give too much away in the preliminary, plus I reserve the right to write it differently as I get to each place.  For chapters that look like they don't have much content, I'll probably think of something to fill them out (but not needless padding if I can help it).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on March 04, 2011, 08:14:35 AM
Tbh max, That seems great.

Aside from the TD scene. I'd advise sticking away from that, Since, after all, God knows there'll prolly be about a hundred fanfics about TD within the next few months. Why not make a spin-off for that?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MaxKnight on March 04, 2011, 04:19:20 PM
I included every integer game from 5 through 12 up to that point, so I have no qualms with trying to tie in Touhou Touchdown if I can.  Besides, it'll actually be good to give a little space between the events just after UFO and the final events of the story...  I just hope that it's not too long of a time for what season TD will take place in (UFO will be in spring or summer depending on what season TD is supposed to be).  It can't be too long of a time before I initiate the endgame, as I can't have Marisa missing an important event that should be taking place close to the point where she leaves for that last (documented) adventure. >_>

Ah, it's so weird somewhat but not really elaborating on things...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: omegastar on March 28, 2011, 07:30:09 AM
i'm currently writing my own touhou fanfict after seeing some fanfict in this forum. because this is my first time writing touhou fanfict i thought maybe i could get some help from the more experience writer who is also fan of touhou. the story is mostly centered around flandre,the main character (OC) and the resident of the scarlet devil mansion.

the beginning is like this: the main character suddenly woke up in gensokyo without any memory of his past. when he's trying to figuring out what's happened to him, flandre who was walking nearby thinking the main character is dead strike him with the laevatein in orde to confirm he's still alive. happy that the main character is alive flandre decided to take him to the mansion so she could play with him.

as for the main character name, i'm thinking about something that related with color, i also planning to insert the character that is rarely used in the other fanfict such as koishi or byakuren. anyway, since this just the outline i'm sure the story could be more complicated which is why i need to be very careful not to ruin the story.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on March 28, 2011, 07:53:21 AM
as for the main character name, i'm thinking about something that related with color, i also planning to insert the character that is rarely used in the other fanfict such as koishi or byakuren. anyway, since this just the outline i'm sure the story could be more complicated which is why i need to be very careful not to ruin the story.

First order of business then is pick some other 'rarely used' characters.
Otherwise, the best advice, is to take your story and start writing it. It won't go anywhere and you won't have anything that can actually be 'helped' in any way if you don't start it, right?
There really isn't a minimum-required seriousness around here, but I would like to point out that using an OC can be dangerous as a writer in an established 'verse.
I'm sure we've discussed the dangers of OCs in this very thread, but by now it's buried pages and pages back. As such, I'm assigning you some homework - a little bit of light reading (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SoYouWantTo/AvoidWritingAMarySue).
If you want to pursue writing as a hobby and not worry about your serious audience (because, face it, there will always be people trolling you regardless of how well you do) disliking your characters, you may want to bookmark that particular page, and TVtropes.org in general.
Another page to consider when it comes to thinking up your characters' name is to avoid this (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsLongAsItSoundsForeign).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Suikama on March 28, 2011, 04:43:13 PM
hey psl how i do writans

I always end up dropping it after a chapter or so :derp:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on March 28, 2011, 04:54:53 PM
hey psl how i do writans

I always end up dropping it after a chapter or so :derp:
Lawyer up.  Delete Facebook.  Hit the Gym.

Wait sorry.  Wrong advice.

If you're having trouble breaking a chapter try doing something episodic.  Write some connected shorts.  It'll let you get something written, while still leaving space open for a longer continuation if you can keep up the work.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on March 28, 2011, 06:52:43 PM
Suggested connected shorts ideas include "_______'s Twitter Feed". I keep meaning to do this, with retweets and @replies and everything, but never get around to it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on March 28, 2011, 10:56:58 PM
Okay, so after talking/roleplaying with a friend a while about Kaiju!Gensokyo and coming up with some pretty kickass monster designs for the Touhous, I decided to try and map this out into a story and may actually write it later on once...I figure out a way to keep it going without it dying like SO many other stories I've tried and failed to finish...yeah, let's drop the self-loath for now.

Anyway, as the name would probably tell you, this isn't going to be 'Reimuzilla vs. whateverthefuckkindamonstercomesather', more in the sense of something a little less like what some Kaiju movies or tv shows go for, probably just movies though since alot of them are 'Bigassmonster vs. the world or another bigass monster'. This said, the story itself follows the 'Renko and Maribel finally get to Gensokyo' deal and places the two within an 'alternate' Gensokyo one that's...not exactly the one Maribel's been 'visiting' in her dreams. I'm still trying to figure out what I can use to get Renko and Mari into thise Gensokyo so suggestions would help if you have any.

Anyway, the only problem with actually coming here is the fact that humans are the lowest on the food chain, even more so than they were before. If you want a decent idea of how far down they are, then picture how insects function in the food chain here in our reality. Yeah, it's that low.

The original idea me and my buddy roleplayed was that the Kaiju!Gensokyo Maribel and Renko drop into is all but a barren wasteland filled with ruins of what Gensokyo used to be. The monsters who live here pretty much destroyed everything and the human populace is on the verge of extinction. Renko and Maribel are no different from this factor and effectively get killed off literally minutes after even getting there. The monster that ate them
(Mokou)
discovers a spacial anomoly that leads to their world and weasels her way through it which takes her to Renko and Maribel's home towan where she effectively obliterates the city and all living in it. The worst part? The portal Renko and Mari fell through is still open, so this means even more KaijuTouhous can come through at their own voilation and just...wreck shit. However, I figured that this idea wasn't really suited for the story being...well, the main focuses die way too early, which would mean I would have to focus on a monster that literally cannot be destroyed by normal means. This isn't even getting into the fact that the humans of the outside world will be dealing with a variant of
Mokou
who is as tall (or taller) than the average skyscraper, made of molten rock, (http://www.majhost.com/gallery/OwlBear1337/Sketches/lavabeast_mokou_complete.png) is nigh impervious to conventional weaponrary (she took on Rika and a band of humans who were running an immense land battleship. They did not succeed.) and, on top of this, revives even IF she is killed.

... ... ...

So, I decided to change things around and go with this idea instead; The setting isn't as barren and there is some diversity in ecosystems, as opposed to the post apocolyptic wasteland of the previous setting. Renko and Maribel don't die off as quickly after falling into Kaiju!Gensokyo, in fact, the both of them manage to escape their first monster encoutner and find some humans who still live here albeit only a handful. One of them is Reimu who has teamed up with a good chunk of the science crew and Meira to maybe keep the human populace safe. Seeing that they truly do not belong in this world, Renko and Maribel need a way out, but the only way out is to try and replicate a Gap produced by Kaiju!Yukari (whom not even the monsters mess with). The science crew can create this buuut, they need various artifacts from across Gensokyo to recreate the spacial anamoly that closed up on them and maybe grant Renko and Mari another chance to go back home.

I'm still trying to figure things out and how things will go (I know how it's going to start and how it's going to end, I just need to make sure getting from those two points is good enough to make it a decent story). So yeah.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Suikama on March 28, 2011, 11:58:12 PM
Lawyer up.  Delete Facebook.  Hit the Gym.

Wait sorry.  Wrong advice.

If you're having trouble breaking a chapter try doing something episodic.  Write some connected shorts.  It'll let you get something written, while still leaving space open for a longer continuation if you can keep up the work.
Problem is I'm subconsiously very picky with my own work, and I rebel against myself if what I'm working on is not a blockbuster masterpiece (or filled with fabulous) :derp:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on March 29, 2011, 12:34:36 AM
'Reimuzilla vs. whateverthefuckkindamonstercomesather',
Fund it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on March 29, 2011, 12:54:49 AM
Problem is I'm subconsiously very picky with my own work, and I rebel against myself if what I'm working on is not a blockbuster masterpiece (or filled with fabulous) :derp:
Cowboy Bebop should have killed the idea that episodic can't be epic.

Heck most quality writers and stories have started off with shorts.  The idea that a short is somehow inferior to a 800k word monster is a construct of amateurs.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on March 29, 2011, 02:08:55 AM
So, I decided to change things around and go with this idea instead; The setting isn't as barren and there is some diversity in ecosystems, as opposed to the post apocolyptic wasteland of the previous setting. Renko and Maribel don't die off as quickly after falling into Kaiju!Gensokyo, in fact, the both of them manage to escape their first monster encoutner and find some humans who still live here albeit only a handful. One of them is Reimu who has teamed up with a good chunk of the science crew and Meira to maybe keep the human populace safe. Seeing that they truly do not belong in this world, Renko and Maribel need a way out, but the only way out is to try and replicate a Gap produced by Kaiju!Yukari (whom not even the monsters mess with). The science crew can create this buuut, they need various artifacts from across Gensokyo to recreate the spacial anamoly that closed up on them and maybe grant Renko and Mari another chance to go back home.

Personally, I'm a sucker for post-apocalyptic scenarios, so I think she could keep that background - the pathos, fear, desperation and hatred that can be drawn from that works perfectly with the rest of your plot here. I think it would help carry the tension during their quest to get all the artifacts they need. So yeah, this is pretty awesome. I look forward to reading this.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: omegastar on March 29, 2011, 04:13:32 AM
so i've read about mary sue and the other stuff at tvtrope.org and thanks to that now i know what to do with my OC personality and power and all the storyline started to connect to each other. now the only think i need to figure out is about teh climax of the story and the ending.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on March 31, 2011, 04:36:09 AM
Well, I got an idea I'd like to post here. (first time posting oh the nervousness :ohdear:) I need lotsa help getting ideas for my chapters.

Here's how it goes: There's a new Incident in Gensokyo that causes everyone who sleeps to experience nightmares of their fears. I'm not going to focus on the solvers of the Incident but also the instigator himself and the making, progression, and end of the Incident.

A youkai is bored and decides to start and Incident just for fun. The instigator targets some of the elder youkai of Gensokyo (Remilia, Satori, Aya) and also some other big names (Marisa, Eirin) to start off his plan; he gives them the "worst" nightmare they could ever experience. It does affect all of them, of course, but only enough to impair their judgement. After Remilia experienced the first nightmare, Patchouli, using her magic, carefully probes Remilia's mind for the memory of the nightmare and finds out that it was an artificial dream. She also probes Marisa's post-nightmare memories, and it doesn't take long for her to realize it was "Incident time."

At that point, the Incident has gone full-scale; in the following hours, every sleeping inhabitant of Gensokyo dreams a nightmare. Cue standard Incident solving protocol: Reimu and Patchouli go around Gensokyo beating any suspect up and eventually stopping the Incident. As the Incident unfolds, poop will hit the fan; the Incident is more than it lets on.

That's the bare bones of the beginning.

Well, yeah. That's it. The rest of the story has already been developed in my head. wow this is pretty long for a first post Help?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on March 31, 2011, 07:48:25 AM
Standard incident solving time, featuring Patchouli? It's typically Reimu and Marisa, as they're the two big-name humans.

That does sound interesting, though - it'd be nice to see a story from the antagonists point of view.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on March 31, 2011, 10:34:10 AM
I say fund it. Seems like it could be pretty good, especially with you know Patchy "probing" people teehee
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Esifex on April 11, 2011, 12:43:36 AM
The Library (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajusn7b9Fxk).
A digital paradise.

I tried to picture stories as they flowed from person to person.

What did they look like? Art? Books? Did the stories have songs?

I kept dreaming of the collection I thought I'd never see...
And then... one day...

I got in.


New PSL Origins story? :derp:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tamer Anode/Cathode on April 13, 2011, 03:09:35 AM
This is an idea that got into my head while I was playing Strange Journey and WON'T LEAVE

True Resurrection of Eastern Goddess

201X. Humanity has started to lose faith in themselves and no longer believe in theirs future. Because of this, the barriers that separate the world of reality and the world of fantasy have started to break down, causing youkai and beings of folklore to enter our world. Anticipating the threat, scientist Dr. Okazaki developed a system to communicate with them and try to negotiate.

This system is now in the hands of three students; Sanae Kochiya, Maribel Hearn, and Renko Usami. Together with Okazaki, they must cooperate with willing youkai in order to protect humanity. However, their battle will soon bring them to Gensokyo, a world of gods and monsters that will test their strength - and their allegiance.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on April 13, 2011, 03:29:24 AM
This is an idea that got into my head while I was playing Strange Journey and WON'T LEAVE

True Resurrection of Eastern Goddess

201X. Humanity has started to lose faith in themselves and no longer believe in theirs future. Because of this, the barriers that separate the world of reality and the world of fantasy have started to break down, causing youkai and beings of folklore to enter our world. Anticipating the threat, scientist Dr. Okazaki developed a system to communicate with them and try to negotiate.

This system is now in the hands of three students; Sanae Kochiya, Maribel Hearn, and Renko Usami. Together with Okazaki, they must cooperate with willing youkai in order to protect humanity. However, their battle will soon bring them to Gensokyo, a world of gods and monsters that will test their strength - and their allegiance.
So then all the Youkai are hostile? What about timid youkai like Kappa or the Satoris?
Other then that, I say fund it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on April 13, 2011, 03:44:28 AM
The only thing that jumps out is that we are (arguably) already in the year 201X.

Something minor that comes to mind is "Why does humanity need protecting?" since humanity is pretty good and war and killing things that aren't humanity. But sometimes questions like that just get in the way of a perfectly interesting story. Like Dolphin Rider Koishi.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Sect on April 13, 2011, 04:22:24 AM
It has a lot to do with the game Strange Journey.

Kips: Nowhere in Tack's idea does it say that all youkai are hostile, just that Dr. Okazaki needed to develop a system to be able to communicate with youkai. The demons in Strange Journey are both hostile and curious towards mankind.

Cap: In the game, part of the reason why the humans were getting wiped by the demons is because humans can't actually see demons normally, or even at all.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on April 13, 2011, 04:23:51 AM
So I can safely assume that Youkai speak a different language/arent seen by the naked eye?
Fund it. TIMES TWO
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on April 13, 2011, 04:30:17 AM
Do you mean like in Bleach?

I think I'm misunderstanding a couple things here, having never played Strange Journey. Why are all the youkai invisible?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on April 13, 2011, 04:38:24 AM
You know the phrase "You see to believe"? Gensokyo is based off DISbelief, as in, the things people do not believe in. It makes a bit of sense that every resident is made of disbelief, and only those who believe can see them.

That or they have such a high level of magical power that human eyes cannot comprehend it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on April 13, 2011, 05:32:35 AM
You know the phrase "You see to believe"? Gensokyo is based off DISbelief, as in, the things people do not believe in. It makes a bit of sense that every resident is made of disbelief, and only those who believe can see them.

That or they have such a high level of magical power that human eyes cannot comprehend it.

You know, I'm a bit surprised by that. It reminds me of a setting where magic can only work on people who believe in it, otherwise they're immune. When the Seagulls Cry - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umineko_no_Naku_Koro_ni

I'd say I don't get it, but that's not entirely true. It's more like I can't quite comprehend the logic behind a world where magic, in spite of being run of disbelief, can be used on disbelievers, and the creatures are powered by the disbelief of people and yet ironically magic can only be seen by believers.

But I think as long as I understand the demons are invisible to non-believers the details for why won't be important.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on April 13, 2011, 05:38:33 AM
Fuck, I remember seeing a movie one time.
Basically there were demons or something killing people in the real world, even though the people couldn't see them. I believe it was filled with crackpot conspiracy theories, that the demons were paid by the goverment not to get revealed, so the bodies were modified after their souls were sucked to make it seem like they died in gunfire or something. The fact that the main character was one of the few people that could see demons (and only one to kill them too), makes it so that, again, "You see to believe."

That also furthers the fact that there are things you see that you cannot believe, and vice versa. Really, I could go on a whole philosophical rant, But sadly when my brain actually DOES work at full capacity, its only for a short while, and I feel like taking a nap.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Unroyal Paladin on April 17, 2011, 04:20:14 PM
I already have a story going, but...  :blush:  I had another idea that I haven't materialized yet, and is currently just a *cough* skeleton *cough* .

LULLABY TO HELL
_______________

The Prismrivers were always known of causing a mess everywhere they pass, but now they really went and did it. They created a music piece, which effect is to raise the dead. They didn't do it too well, fizzled up in the middle, and along new Humans which have been revived by the effect, Skeletons and Undead started to roam Gensokyo, and Reimu was forced to go and beat those zombies off Gensokyo. Komachi started seeing NEGATIVE VALUE lifespans above some humans and all skeletons, reporting it to Shikieiki. Meanwhile, Yuyuko and Youmu do actions too, since the spirits were suddenly disappearing from Hakugyoukuro.

From Orin's side, she's not too happy about it - it means more work for her, because every corpse revived as a skeleton doubles the amount of corpses she has to burn in the blazing fires, but too many corpses burnt there will cause the flames to grow out of control. Its a struggle of balance for her.
What's strange was, that Reimu first thought that the incident maker was actually Orin, so she got underground first, and made a mess there.
Next, Reimu really went to Hakugyoukuro, and after a pointless Danmaku battle, Youmu got to say that it wasn't her. The same happened with Yuyuko, except that Yuyuko was more playful with words before the battle, a thing which made Reimu suspect a little bit too much. Yuyuko's ability didn't help the negotiation.
*After a little bit whacking in danmaku from Reimu*
Yuyuko told Reimu that spirits are disappearing from Hakugyoukuro, probably as a side effect, and that it isn't their doing as they would cause unnecesarry trouble.
Meanwhile, the Prismrivers were going through Gensokyo, particulary above the human village, playing their newfound piece of music. This made a whole hell of a mess in the human village, the dead reviving and returning to their families, so many reuniting people, and also the skeletons from the Prismrivers' little screw ups in the notes, all made noises coming from that direction.
That was what Reimu heard on her way back, and she wasn't happy from what she saw.
She raised an eyebrow at the sight of the Prismrivers, who as a response, sweated badly...
After a whole hour or two of Reimu beating the **** out of the Prismriver sisters, all three of them went back with shame of their little incident.

((For teh surprise, Orin isn't the main character. Although the title is 'Lullaby to hell'.))

Heres the comment from the Prismriver sisters Aya got during the incident: "Bring out yer dead!"  :D
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on April 19, 2011, 04:01:26 AM
I'm not sure if this is the right place to show it, but I'm thinking of going back to one of my old stories. This is a rough draft of a new chapter, so I was hoping to get some suggestions, or at least know if my approach is correct. Spoiler tags because it's not finished. EDIT: by suggestions, I mean style-wise. I already know the direction of the plot, but could use some pointers about good writing.

The two girls found themselves at the entrance of an abandoned power plant overlooking the sea. It took some effort to reach, as the roads were little trod except by the occasional pokemon trainer; most travelers see no reason to visit, and even trainers looking for electric types tend to prefer to get their pokemon elsewhere. They entered the doorway, the doors long ago having fallen off their hinges, and entered the gloom of the plant’s main lobby.

“Hello? Anyone home?” Cirno yelled, but nothing responded back.

“Let’s keep going.” Mokou said, passing the reception desk into a side door labeled AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY. The pair found themselves in a dark hallway.

“Anyone here?” Cirno asked the darkness, which responded with a definitive silence.

“Charmander, give us a light.” Mokou said, releasing Charmander from its pokeball. The lizard’s flame lit up the room. It was a fairly long hallway, silent except for the cackling of Charmander’s flame. Cirno was the first to break this silence, rushing to the first door she found, which was labeled MEN.

“Mokou, what’s this thing?”

“That’s a bathroom.”

“No, not that, this!” Cirno was pointing to a line of porcelain bowls attached to the wall of the bathroom, each one possessing its own metal lever. Mokou, although somewhat familiar with recent trends in plumbing, had never seen these before either.

“I don’t know. It looks like a funny toilet.”

“Hm…” Cirno said. She grabbed the level and pressed it down. Nothing happened. She pressed the lever down again. Nothing happened. She started pumping the level up and down furiously, before crossing her arms and whining, “I think it’s broken.”

“Probably. I doubt anyone’s been here in years,” Mokou said.

“This room’s boring,” Cirno pouted.  “Let’s try another!” The ice fairy raced out of the bathroom and went to a room marked GENERATOR. This room was huge, and it was full of strange machines. There was a particularly large one set into the middle, the generator itself. Sunlight shined down from occasional patches in the ceiling, where age and a lack of maintenance allowed the ceiling to collapse. Across the room from the pair a single monitor was lit. A pokeball-shaped paperweight rested on the desk next to the computer, which flashed error codes across a blue screen. Cirno approached the desk, and started pressing keys on the keyboard. The screen stayed static. She frowned, and furiously bashed the keys. “Mokou, can you make this thing wo-” but Cirno was cut off by a screech, as the paperweight opened its eyes.


EDIT: Adding more of the chapter:

“Charmander, use ember now!”

“Char!” Charmander threw flames from its tale onto the living pokeball. The pokemon exploded in Cirno’s still dazed face, blasting shards of ice fairy in every direction, including Mokou’s. Frozen splinters embedded themselves in Mokou’s face, to which the girl didn’t so much as flinch. Charmander looked up to its master, tilted its head and asked “Char?”

“She’s fine.” Mokou answered, mostly to herself as she began picking the shrapnel out of her forehead. “She’s always fine.” Mokou took out her pokedex, and scanned the pokeball that just attacked them.

“VOLTORB,” a mechanical voice began. “The ball POK?MON. It bears an uncanny and unexplained resemblance to a POK? BALL. Because it explodes at the slightest shock, even veteran TRAINERS treat it with caution.”

Suddenly, all the computer monitors started flashing static at Mokou. She glanced left and right before whirling around to face the threat. But she was alone in the room. She returned to the monitors and saw a shadow flicker behind the static of one. Slowly, shaking slightly, she crept to the offending screen. Just behind the static was a muffled image of something. Mokou could almost make out what it was. If she was just a little closer…

A bright orange pokemon exploded out of the static at lighting speeds. Mokou fell backwards with a yelp, her pokedex clanking on the floor.

“ROTOM, the Plasma POK?MON. It can possess a trainer’s POK?DEX. It then proceeds to haunt its host until it steals the trainer’s soul.” The mechanical voice said. It then began laughing as it slowly found its way into the air. “Tremble in fear, mortal, I will haunt you for eternity!”

“Is that a promise?” Mokou asked, regaining her composure.

“Yes mortal,” It continued in the pokedex voice. “You’re mine until the day you die.” The pokedex glowed yellow and hurled lighting in all directions.

“Deal.” Mokou said cheerfully approaching the device.

“No, run away in fear, you fool! Can you not see I am a being far greater than yourself? Fear me! Hey, what are you doing?”

Mokou grabbed the pokedex out of the air and began banging it against the nearest wall with a little to much enthusiasm. The pokedex responded with a huge zap to the girl’s chest. “Stop it! Why aren’t you dead, mortal?”

The girl beamed back “Who said I was mortal?” and with one last slam the pokemon flew out and collapsed. With a tossed of a pokeball, the Rotom was caught.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on May 04, 2011, 04:19:44 PM
A section about the WitchSpecies in my original setting.

Witches are magical beings given rise from the care of Aradia a powerful demi-goddess who studied under the god of magic and thus was blessed with tremendous magical capabilities and prowess. When the demi-goddess came to Earth, she shared her knowledge and powers with a select few of young maidens who were, in turn, also blessed with its power. These teachings would later snowball into the creation of witches who would come to inherit the gifts from the ancestors who apprenticed under Aradia. The birth of the witch, however, proved to be a mistake during the ancient times where superstition was just as rampant as their interest in witchcraft. In these days, The Holy Order of Tengoku was in control of the world and saw the creation of the witch as a horrible act against god. Witch Hunts were staged and many of Aradia's students (along with their friends and families) were captured and killed.

This angered the older witches and would later spark an uprising between Witches and the Order. This uprising would draw the line between witches a humans and seperate them from each other all together once things settled. After the rebellion, witches cut themselves off from human society and, to this day, remain at odds with both humans and those associated with the Order. Young witches are in fact taught by their superiors that the Order is an evil organization and should never be trusted.

As of this day, the portrayal of witches has lightened up to a degree and humans are, generally more accepting of them after the Order was pushed aside and control of the world was given to the Worlds' United Federation. Witches are allowed (and even encouraged) to live alongside humans and can form a friendly relationship with them if they so desire. A majority of the Yasha see witches in a good light and are often associated with them through their relationships as their familiars. Even so, despite this widespread acceptance toward them, Witches still prefer to live away from human civilization and within their own communities where they can govern themselves accordingly rather than adhere to human customs. These communities are all overseen by a council of the wisest and oldest of their kind. This 'council' governs most of the witches in both how they can conduct their magic and to what rituals or spells are forbidden from them. Although, what seems to fall under these rules blurs heavily as the head witches themselves are regarded as twisted and don't seem to adhere to these rules themselves...

There are 4 ranks of Witches. The beginner level of witches (listed below as an 'Occultess') has to master a latent technique known as the Witch's Eye before they themselves can call themselves witches.

Occultess
-Basically, a student witch, one who (usually) has yet to master the power of the 'Witch's Eye', a critical attribute that is required of all witches to learn in order for them to be realized as a full fledged witch. Many Occultess usually apprentice under higher ranked Witches and rarely act on their own or of their own voilation (which is due to their lack of magical power). In the past, an Occultess was, more often than not, a servant to her teacher as opposed to being a student. Very rarely will a bond form between an Occultess and a Witch but, there have been a few exceptions...it often depends on the nature of the teacher and the student to ensure a healthy relationship between the two of them. Although the tradition of working under a more powerful witch still exists, many new generation Occultesses prefer to work/study solo to gain their witchood on their own. Some witches do frown upon this practice and believe that youngsters should follow their elders rather than branch out on their own. The higher ups, however, see this as a...fresh change from the usual method from centuries past. To them, an Occultess working on to gain her witch hood on her own is a welcome symbol of independency and a sign that she will be a much more capable Witch once she is realized as one. 

Witch
-A fully recognized witch and one who has far more privlages in witch society than the low ranked Occultess. By far the second most plentiful witch around, second only to an Occultess which consists of both young witches and those who are just getting into Witchcraft. A Witch usually has a title that reflects what form of magic she specializes in, although a few will choose not to have a title to preserve 'originality', something alot of the new age witches feel has faded over time within witch society.
 
Uber Witch
-The second most powerful witch, and the overseers of witch society. To become an Uber Witch is basically impossible through dedication and has to be decided at birth whether or not a witch can become one of the esteemed Uber Witches of her society. This birth right is determined if an Occultess has more than one Witch Eye (normal witches are born with only one), some are able to create their own Witch Eye, but this tends to be just as rare as having multiple Witch Eyes. So far, no other Uber Witches have been born naturally, the only ones in existance are, infact, the very first witches in history...other wise known as Aradia's Students from when she taught humans magic. These witches were able to gain their power through the fact that they were able to CREATE their own Witch Eyes as opposed to having to deal with only one.

Eld-witch
- A witch that has exceeded all aspects of the above three, having attained what many would describe as godhood through the aspects of magic and witchcraft. These types of witches would have replaced the Uber Witches as the overseers but this was all but halted when it was known that Eld-witches usually tend to abandon the Code of witches and become abominations of chaos. So far, only one Eld-witch is known to have been the most active, to which was, Cinquelle the Witch to the 5th Dimension. However, the Uber Witches tell of other Eld-witches who were also Aradia's students but split off. It is believed that they are so powerful that they are considered manifestation of the concepts they embraced (Cinquelle for example is now considered the 5th Dimension incarnate).

Terms and Techings

Witch Eye: Also known as the 'Magic Eye', is a sort of birth mark that witches are all born with and use to their advantage when casting spells. The Witch Eye is very similar to the Brain Eye that Psychics can utilize in order to tap into their psionic power. In fact, this is a copy of such a technique, the first Witch's Eye to appear coming from a witch who was good friends with a Psionics user, said user told the witch of the many uses and functions of the Brain Eye and thus she was able to formulate the Witch's Eye by pouring her magical energies into the brain eye she had mastered. The Witch's Eye is crucial for the recognition of a young witch as the eye itself helps them see the flow of magic itself in order for them to manipulate it at a greater level. Humans can possess a Witch Eye, but won't become witches due to their lack of potential in spellcasting (for this reason, a Witch Eye in the possession of a human is known as a Spellbinder).

Witch Ladder: A magical technique (often mistaken as a seperate device) used by experienced Witches to ignore magical boundaries and cross over into other realms through the use of dimensional magic. A Witch Ladder can only be used if a witch has opened her 'Witch Eye', this is due to the fact that a witch must be able to 'see' the magical boundaries that exist between other realms. Once she has seen them, she can use her Witch Ladder to penetrate the border and open it up to allow safe travel to the target realm. A Witch Ladder functions alot like that of a normal dimensional portal however, the portal itself seems to be a little more complex than this. For example, an experienced witch can use her ladder to form numerous paths to either one world or other worlds...at the same time. If the witch using this is powerful enough, the ladder can remain open for as long as she wishes and can allow for her familiars and servants to enter the world of their own accord. A Witch Ladder is unique to each witch and is distinguishable by the appearance of the portal that she opens, said portals appearing as magic circles adorned with magical runes and designs.

This technique is well known for allowing a safe and easy passage to and from the Jigokusekai and is the only secondary means to reach the Jigokusekai. Because Witches are magical beings, they are immune to the effects of the Devil Mana and the Jigoku Tsuki that present such a large threat to humans who can easily be corrupted by the mana and the hell moon. Even though it is known to make bridges between the Jigokusekai and the mortal realm, a Witch's Ladder can be used to enter other realms as well.

A secondary concept exists alongside the Witch Ladder, such is known as a 'Witch Ball'. A Witch Ball is essentially a pocket dimension a witch can create while she is travelling through her ladder. This is usually done if a witch wishes to have a place to rest in between her travels through the realms but has since been known to be useful when a witch wishes to build her own personal haven, much like a secret base or hideaway. This pocket dimension is unique to the one who creates it and as a result the one who created it is nothing short of a god in this dimension. Anything she says, goes and by whatever wish she wants is granted, so long as it is within her magical power. A Witch Ball can be expanded boundlessly to suit it's creator's tastes and others can be seized if the witch invading the ball has enough power to dominate the victim. For this reason, a Witch Ball is often coated in an invisible spell that repells witches who do not know the pattern of their Witch Ladder. A witch who knows the pattern and is generally trusted by the witch inside the ball, is granted access. Humans are incapable of entering or creating Witch Balls of their own but are able to sent to one if the witch wishes to have him/her present in her Witch Ball.

The Eld-witch, Cinquelle used her Witch Ladder/Witch Ball to open a path to a boundless void and used her magic to create the 5th Dimension.

Familiar: Entities contracted to a Witch through a 'pact' of some sort, although the creation of familiars through magical means isn't uncommon among witches. Familiars are connected to the witch via magical means, and basically share their energies with their parent witch. For this reason, a witch can easily discipline her familiar by shutting off the flow of magic between them, thus, subjecting them to an agonizingly slow death. Interestingly enough, if a witch were to be killed, her power will still remain in whatever familiar(s) she had with her prior to her death. However, the magic residing in said familiar(s) will be similar to a flame within a furnace as it will be constantly burning to help sustain the familiar's functions.

Rouge Familiars (known as Wiccas) can help sustain themselves by 'eating' magic and converting it's power into the same energy that keeps them alive. Wiccas can even form contracts with each other to help sustain multiple entities. This is usually only possible if the familiar making the contracts is especially powerful and has enough magic to sustain others following under him/her/it. It is believed that a Wicca can even BECOME a Witch if it is powerful enough and has more than 5 familiars. Witches have been known to seek out Wiccas and devour them for the power they hold within them. Once eaten, the power of the previous witch may very well be passed on to the one who absorbed it...

This is basically the gist of it. I plan to add more on the later as I find more stuff from my previous writings and databases.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on May 08, 2011, 03:08:28 AM
Here is my next chapter for my Mokou, Cirno, and Pokemon story. I could really use an editor, and some suggestions for lengthening improving the chapter.


Mokou sat and gazed at the sea. Her Charmander tugged at her sleeve towards the setting sun in the opposite direction. Indeed, the colors were beautiful; the land was painted gold under the scarlet sky. But Mokou didn?t turn her head.

?Charmander, I?ve seen the sun set thousands of times. Do you know how many decades it?s been since I?ve seen the sea??

The lizard tilted its head. ?Char??

Mokou patted the lizard on its head. ?You enjoy your sunset, I?ll enjoy my ocean.? With that, the girl went back to watching the navy waves crash against rock, spitting white foam in the air. And for a moment, everything was perfect.

?Hey Mokou! Look! I caught a Voltorb!?

Mokou sighed. She turned her head just enough to catch the blue-haired girl in the corner of her eye. Cirno was charging from the decrepit entrance of the power plant to Mokou, pokeball in hand. She looked awful. There were huge cracks running down her arms and legs, and a good portion of her face was missing. The damage was freezing over, but she still looked like she was hit by a bomb. Which, to be fair, is exactly what happened. Though Cirno was too busy showing Mokou her new pokemon to care.

?Look at him! Isn?t he awesome?? Cirno said, shoving the pokeball into Mokou?s face. ?I?m going to name him Explody!?

Mokou rolled her eyes. ?Yes, ?Explody? is awesome. Can we go back to Cerulean now??

?No way! I have to train him first! We have to go to Route 12.? Cirno said.

Mokou began unfolding the map of the region, noting that Cirno wanted to travel pretty far off course. ?Why are we taking this detour??

?Because we need the Fishing Guru?s brother to give us a fishing rod, and he lives on Route 12,? Cirno said matter?of-factly, placing her hands on her hips. ?Otherwise, we won?t be able to catch water type pokemon, and it will be much harder to train Voltorb.?

?And this guy just gives fishing rods away?? Mokou raised her eyebrow. Cirno?s understanding of the world seemed lacking at best.

?Yep! Now onward to victory!? Cirno placed one foot forward and pointed straight ahead, in some kind of battle pose. She had a certain determination about her, which would have been more dramatic had it been called for. But Cirno?s unbridled enthusiasm for pointing in the wrong direction was adorable instead. Well, almost adorable. The still-missing skull fragments sort of ruined the moment.

?That?s north.?

?Yep!?

?Route 12 is south.?

?Yep!?

?So why are you pointing north?? Mokou asked, though honestly, she knew the answer would be stupid.

?Because we need to go through Rock Tunnel to get to Route 12,? Cirno said with a frustrated tone. ?Honestly, you?re the one with the map.?

?Or we could go south along the coast. We?re already halfway to Lavender, so it would probably be faster.?

?Nope! We?re going to Rock Tunnel.?

Edit: More chapter



Mokou rubbed her temples, before giving it. ?Well, let?s see what pokemon are there. Hand me your pokedex.?

?What?s wrong with yours??

?It melted.? Mokou said, taking out the shredded blob of plastic that once was a pokemon encyclopedia.

Cirno giggled. ?I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one.?

?Shut up.?

?Get angry when it called you stupid??

?Not stupid. A foolish mortal.? Mokou chuckled. ?So what does it say lives in Rock Tunnel.?

?A bunch of Geodude, Graveller, Golem, Zubat, Golbat, Crobat, Machop, Machoke, and Machamp. A couple Onix as well as Steelix, and the odd Cubone.?

?Onix?? Mokou snapped. ?You mean the twenty-foot rock snakes??

?Thirty? Cirno corrected. ?Thirty-foot rock snakes. Don?t worry, they?re small-fry compared to the Machamp.? 

Mokou stared at Cirno a minute before asking, ?What could they possibly do that?s worse than a thirty-foot rock snake??

The pokedex was the one to answer. ?MACHAMP the Superpower POK?MON. Using its heavy muscles, it throws powerful punches that can send the victim clear over the horizon. One arm alone can move mountains. Using all four arms, this Pok?mon fires off awesome punches.?

The two stood in silence for a moment. Mokou broke the silence with a smile. ?You want to catch one of these things??

?Sure do!? Cirno said.

?Well then, let?s go!?

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on May 08, 2011, 08:29:32 PM
A short scene from a space opera type of story that...I probably won't write.

This was crazy. Absolutely madness. How could she hope to stand up to a fleet of giant mechs with just her bare hands!? This had to stop, Yuuko was strong yes, but not THIS strong. "Yuuko-sempai!!" Rimi screamed into the headset, her desperation to drill whatever sense she could into the tigress driving her to near madness as she watched from her seat in the ship. "This...this is impossible. There are too many Shell Units and the Eusliesum Guard platoon will arrive shortly with back up!  If we don't pull out, we'll be slaughtered!"

There was no answer, probably because Yuuko was staring blankly into the communicator she wore on her wrist.

"Yuuko-sempai, did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard ya." Yuuko answered, showing absolutely no real concern for why Rimi was so worked up.

"Then get your ass back in the ship!"

"Nah, I think I'll take the 'dismantling of mechs with my bare hands' for 1000, Alex~"

"Wh-what?" The hacker stammered, her eyes almost losing focus from the utter surprise at how dumb and irrational her leader truly was. But still, who the fuck was this Alex she spoke of? "Yuuko, I'm telling you as a subordinate and as a friend, get back here or you're going to get yourself killed!"

An uproarous laughter crackled through the headphones Rimi wore, the sound of it alone enough to make her eardrums explode into ribbons. After regaining her sense from the deafening sonic boom of a laugh she could hear her superior's voice. "...Die? Hah, Death can't touch me anymore, I've kicked death's ass so many times he can't even take a shit sitting down!"

"Ugh! You're being retarded!" Rimi fumed, her hand gripping the headset so tightly that the pressure would break the device in two, had it not been made of metal. "You're about to fight a fleet of armed mechs UNARMED, go charging into one of the most heavily fortified Strongholds in this entire quadrant, fight an S-ranked Captain of the Galactic Military and you don't even have a single plan of attack!"

"Don't need one." Yuuko remarked bluntly "Plannin's for folks who don't know if their gonna to win, Charging in is for those who know damn straight that they're gonna win!"

- And the one after that ... -

There he lay in the chaos of twisted metal and debris, a product of the Destroyer Queen; Yuuko Hoshitora. His body burns, nothing can move, it's hard to keep his eyes open, he can feel his beastial powers disappearing, the thick lion like mane fading into his human flesh like a smoldering flame about to go out. He knows what all of this is, and what it means. It is the coming of his death. A death that his body and soul has evaded for well over 50 years now, frozen constantly in a state of a youthful appearance. Yet, despite this, he fears not for his permanent sleep. After all, he can finally rest after all this time of living and fighting wars. Indeed, death shall be his peace and it shall be his paradise.

Still, there was something he had to ask Yuuko and now seemed like a perfect time to pose his question. "Tell me...Hoshitora..." Ryon spoke, his voice barely audible to the chimerical humanoid that stood over him like the reaper she was. "...Now that you've destroyed half of my defenses, pierced through the fortress that could not be penatrated and now are steps away from the Princess of Voids, the daughter of the Majin God; Asmodeous...what do you plan to do from here on..."

"Ara...that's a good question..." Yuuko replied in her usual tone. It was amazing how so jovial she could be even after fighting something that had 10x the amount of power she had. "I dunno, really, I'll think about it as I go."

Ryon laughed, or at least as best his dying body could allow. This was so like her; to be impulsive and yet not regret a minute of her decisions. Perhaps this is why he grew so fond of her during their time together in the Majin War 50 years ago. However, in this battle, only one was the victor, and only one was going to live to see tomorrow...and it wasn't going to be him. "You never were good with planning..."

"I guess," Yuuko shrugged nonchalantly, "But I was a soldier, I did the fighting, not the planning."

"Quite true..." Ryon whispered, his calm response taking a turn for the worse as his mouth spewing forth blood upon uttering a deathly cough. It won't be long now...he could feel the heat from his body leaving him by the second. A heat that was taken from him by the woman he thought he'd never see again. "...Looks like...you'll be the only one of our platoon left alive..."

Yuuko looked back, "Seems that way."

"...The Council, won't sit well with my death..."

"Screw them."

"Things are...going to be rough for you and you're crew from here on..."

"Bring it on."

"...I love you..."

"...I know." Yuuko kneeled down and brought her lips to his cold ones, embracing them in a final kiss that Ryon had wanted since he had met her 50 years ago. "Sleep tight, I promise to see ya later, once all this is over, kay?"

Ryon smiled, closing his eyes. "...I know. You always...keep...your promis..es..."
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on May 09, 2011, 12:49:23 AM
I've suddenly been hit with an idea. So, here's the thing: Yukari reads the first book of The Hunger Games, and on a whim, she chooses residents of Gensokyo to participate in the Game, overseen by none other than herself. For character parallels, Rumia = Katniss, Mystia = Gale, Wriggle = Peeta, Suika = Haymitch, etc. Go look at Wikipedia if you don't understand anything I'm talking about.

I'd like to ask you all this question: would it work?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on May 23, 2011, 09:45:47 AM
Ugh.

Basic plot I'm novelizing from an RP I did: Koishi, Elly, Sanae, and Tewi (they formed a Ghostbusting team during Ten Desires, long story) go down to Former Hell when they find out the Demons (not the cute moe kind that Reimu beats up - the really nasty, DooM worthy sadist ugly bastards Reimu would actually made sure she'd kill) are trying to recapture their lands. Cue mad rush to reach the Palace of Earthly Spirits.

Sound familiar?

It seems every Touhou plot I think of has already been done. >_>
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on May 23, 2011, 10:22:17 AM
Doesn't really sound familiar other than the fact that- ooooooh! Wait, all I can think of is Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan. Nevermind. Are the demons the demons from Makai?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on May 23, 2011, 10:29:08 AM
No, just demons from another Hell. Koishi and crew eventually help Shinki repel their invasion.

It's just that people are going to probably get annoyed by the superficial resemblance to A CERTAIN TOUHOU FIC
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kips McKipzerson on May 23, 2011, 05:11:39 PM
Okay, so I've got an outline for the Kogasa oneshot that shan't be a oneshot no more.

Kogasa travels to the Human village, stays there for a day in an alley, men try to beat her up and "take her" as they said to her, Reimu comes in kicking ass, she's buying groceries. It starts raining, You find your umbrella in HER hands, and you're pretty much dragged alongside her to the shrine for next chapter.
i literally thought this all up on the spot :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on May 24, 2011, 01:12:14 AM
To Jack: White Rose? Yeah, that'll be a tough one to surpass.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on May 24, 2011, 06:23:16 AM
To Jack: White Rose? Yeah, that'll be a tough one to surpass.
Pfft, all you have to do to 'surpass' White Rose is to update on a semi-regular basis. BV

That does sound like an interesting plot, though, Jack! Why not go for it?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on May 24, 2011, 06:29:33 AM
Sure, why not. Aside from Former Hell getting set on fire, Koishi mindraping an enemy and getting called out on it, and the Daemon March, it... doesn't really resemble White Rose.

Also, I'm worse at updating stories than anyone else. Hell, I haven't updated Laziness for a while  :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on May 24, 2011, 09:54:56 AM
Quote
Koishi mindraping an enemy
PLEASE do! :getdown: That's something I like to read.

EDIT: Oh, I remember what I was supposed to write. This smells of a Touhou/Disgaea fic!  :colonveeplusalpha:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on May 24, 2011, 08:10:31 PM
PLEASE do! :getdown: That's something I like to read.

EDIT: Oh, I remember what I was supposed to write. This smells of a Touhou/Disgaea fic!  :colonveeplusalpha:

She's not a psychobitch like the Hearthumping Koishi, though.

I might have her be something like the TF2 Spy. YAY CLOAKING AND BEING ABLE TO DISGUISE YOURSELF!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on May 24, 2011, 08:46:40 PM
Nue's a better disguise-artist, I think ... :3

Anyway, who's up for proofreading chapter 5 of A Different Story of an Eastern Wonderland (http://dizzy.pestermom.com/?p=diffstory)? I've been ... bad at finding someone. (I've already had one person, but I just like having multiple proofreaders.)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on June 22, 2011, 10:56:28 AM
More on my original setting. This time focusing on the infernal realm and it's make up.

Jigokusekai and Demonic Ranks

More commonly known as the Netherworld, Underworld, Tartarus, Makai, or simply just Hell. The Jigokusekai is a near boundless infernal realm that is, essentially, another universe comprised of different demonic lands that is intertwined with the mortal realm. The Jigokusekai was originally never connected to the mortal realm until after humans began meddling in the occult and dark arts which helped reveal the path to the demonic world. As of now, ancient gateways known as the Great Gates are seen as the only known relic that gives light to the fact that humans may have known about demons and their world far longer than first believed. Getting here usually requires one to venture to the most remote regions and pass through a Great Gate. However, if the individual passing through is human then they have only a limited of time to remain as they are, for after several days (Max = 4 days) the Devil Mana that saturates this realm's atmosphere will begin to warp their bodies, slowly transforming them into a Yaminingen.

Other beings are generally unaffected by the corrosive properties of the Jigokusekai and can exist there without any ill effects to their bodies. The only known beings to be effected adversely to the Jigokusekai's atmosphere are the Yousei whoes entire body may corrupt into a Pixie if she feels the need to molt her original form, but even then this is due to a matter of choice rather than it being a sort of 'countdown' when compared to a normal human who will transform no matter what the circumstance.

There are also various secrets hidden within the Jigokusekai that cannot be found anywhere else in the mortal realm, however uncovering these secrets requires a firm will to survive and an even firmer strength of body and soul.

Great Gate: A Great Gate is a portal that leads to the Jigokusekai. No one is certain as to how long the gates have existed in the mortal plane or if they were put here by some other force, but what is known is that these gates are used now as a means of transport to and from the Jigokusekai. Although, it was once believed that the Great Gates all lead to the same point in the Jigokusekai, however this was proven false during the Great War of Astaroth, when the gates were used by the Talos to enter the hellish land. The Talos all ended up in different locations in the Jigokusekai, giving rise to the fact that the Great Gates all lead to different 'points' in the Jigokusekai. It is speculated that some Great Gates are locked (via a seal known as an Old Lock) specifically for that reason. The seal on a Great Gate can only be broken by an Arcane Key, these Arcane Keys can be used to seal the open gates as well, but each key is different and requires to be inserted into the right door for it to be sealed or opened again.

Devil Mana: An energy that exists in all demonkind, and is what saturates the Jigokusekai down to the very soil and it's universal structure. Scientifically called 'Mephistotrons', Devil Mana is the sole driving force behind demons and their magical prowess, it is how they are born with a natural ability to use and control magic and is also how their bodies are able to recover from wounds and regenerate over time. Devil Mana also holds the key to their ageless lifespans as well. Although it originates from demons, those who dabble in the dark arts can access it's power as well, the mana itself being what powers a lot of spells of darkness, necromancy and witchcraft. However, there exists a problem. Devil Mana, while harmless and natural to demons, can corrupt those who do not have Devil Mana that exists naturally within them. Overexposure to Devil Mana can result in grotesque mutations in humans and even the transformation into a Yaminingen, the first stage in becoming a demon. Devil Mana also effects non-human races, but only seems to amplify certain characteristics rather than invoking mutations or transformations.

Transformation Cycle of a Yasha

-Yaminingen: Humans who were exposed to Devil Mana and transmogrofied into demons. Yaminingens are a sort of 'larval' stage for a Human turned Yasha, during this stage they become nothing more than feral monsters only driven by instinct and the will to survive. Over time, however, if their resolve allows it, they will regain their sentinence and become a Yasha otherwise they will forever remain a Yaminingen.

-Yasha: Average every day demons, considered 'canon-fodder' and are generally the demons seen as commoners in the eyes of the higher ranking demons. Even so, the Yasha are the most commonly sighted on both the mortal and nether realms and have become rather integrated with human society over the ages of being associated with them through obscure occult arts and magic. The many different races that populate the mortal realm to this day are thanks to Yasha settling down in the human world. In terms of strength, Yasha are far more powerful than the average human, having slow regenerative properties and a natural affinity for magic. The average Yasha lives years longer than humans, the oldest known living to be 8,000 years of age before passing on naturally.

-Raetsu: These demons are far more powerful than your average Yasha, but still are not the most powerful demon one can truly go up against. Unlike Yasha, Raetsu depend on the Devil Mana of the Jigokusekai to keep their strength up and solidify it for when (or if) they become Ashura. If a Raetsu were to leave the Jigokusekai, all of their mana will escape and their power will plummet to that of a mere common Yasha. Going back to the Jigokusekai or absorbing magical beings can replenish the Devil Mana lost. Raetsu who have exceptionally high amounts of Devil Mana are known as Exalted Raetsu and are believed to be able to exist in both the mortal realm and the Jigokusekai at will because of the vast amount of Devil Mana they house in their bodies. Some have even incorperated spells that are able to keep the Devil Mana in their body so that they can keep their reserves of power even though they have traveled to a foreign realm with little to no Devil Mana.

Raetsu class demons is also where the demonic hierarchy begins.

-Demon Lord
-Overlord

-Ashura: Demons who have passed Raetsu level reach Ashura status through the means of absorbing enough Devil Mana from other higher ranked demons. Needless to say, Ashura are immensly powerful and can only be found in the Jigokusekai. Ashura have no problems with traveling to and from the mortal realm and can stay there as long as they wish, the mana they hold being stabilized from their evolution from a Raetsu. Because Ashura are far more powerful than a Raetsu, they are ranked demons higher among demons and control far more aspects of their territory than an Overlord. Ashura are also usually the ones who are able to participate in the higher powers associated with Demonic Hierarchy that exists in the Jigokusekai:

-Great Marshall
-Great Earl/Earless of Hell
-Grand Duke/Ductchess of Hell
-Grand Baron/Baroness of Hell
-President of Hell
-Prince/Princess of Hell
-Emperor/Empress of Hell

Jigoku-gami: Although it is rare, there are demons who are able to bypass even the Ranks of Ashura, at which point they become; Jigoku-gami (lit. Hell God). Jigoku-gami are few in numbers, but their influence and presence is absolute, a single Jigoku-gami have the power to end all things in an entire sector of the infernal cosmos, or create it anew if what little generosity they have allows it. Even the mightest of Ashura kneel before a Jigoku-gami...

Geography of the Jigokusekai

General Overview
- As explained at the beginning, the Jigokusekai isn't just one world with vast amounts of areas. It is, in fact, a collective of different worlds all combined into one universe separate from the mortal one. As of the present day, the mortal world is connected to the Jigokusekai through the means of inter-dimensional gates. However, this was not always the case as pathways leading to the Jigokusekai only opened once humans saw the need to enlist demons as their aids in the occult arts and witchcraft. Much like our own universe, the Jigokusekai is just as boundless, consisting of various celestial bodies that float aimlessly in the abyss of the demonic universe. The Jigokusekai is divided into 'Sectors' which are essentially, large regions in space. Devil Mana is also very important to the structure of the Jigokusekai, the space in and around constantly changing depending on the amount of Devil Mana in the immediate area. An imbalance of Devil Mana can result in cosmic anomalies, such as Wormholes, or could even lead to the deterioration of space in that area.

Circles
- A section in the Jigokusekai in which demons live. A Circle is basically a 'planet' that has the means to support demonic life, each Circle is usually dominated by one ruling demon that is at least of Overlord status, however, there are instances of demons combining their Circles with one another and forming pacts of mutual existence. Combining Circles is a rather literal action that consists of literally crashing the worlds into one another and fusing them together. Dimensional manipulation is usually required so that the fusion isn't dangerous to life within the Circle. Alongside the Ruling demon and his/her party, is the work of another lesser powerful demon known as a Demon Lord. A Demon Lord controls a section of the Circle and works alongside the ruling party in compensation of having a piece of the Circle under their control. Depending on the size of the Circle, many Demon Lords can exist within one Circle, but one defining trait among them is that a Demon Lord must either hold enough power to be considered as such or be of noble status.

Ashura class demons control not one, but multiple Circles, the rank in which they are in the hierarchy determining how many Circles in their area of space they have under their dominion.

Jigoku Tsuki
- Literally meaning, Hell Moon, a Jigoku Tsuki is a planetoid that gives off light and orbits the Circle much like a moon would to a larger planet. In most senses, the Jigoku Tsuki is the main source of light in a fair amount of Circles within the Jigokusekai, meaning that it is eternally night within these areas. Occasionally, the Jigoku Tsuki will cross over and appear in the mortal realm, but only during the night will one be able to see it. When the Jigoku Tsuki manifests into the mortal realm (Known as a Nethernight), the night sky changes to a crimson red and a number of strange things begin to happen. For one, the amount of Devil Mana in the mortal realm (usually at an all time low of 5%) skyrockets to a staggering 67.7% when the Jigoku Tsuki manifests in mortal realm. This means that humans have a 60% chance of transforming into a Yaminingen if they venture outside long enough. Most Yasha respond to the Jigoku Tsuki in a number of ways; Nues become more beast-like, Ningyos power over water increases, Hare become horny, etc. The Jigoku Tsuki is also seen as a symbol of ill-omen, in fact the main reason for this is due to the Great War of Astaroth being fought during a time when the Jigoku Tsuki had manifested into the mortal realm for an entire month. Circles that have a Jigoku Tsuki as it's main source of light are known as 'Night Worlds'.

Jigoku Taiyou
- Literally meaning, Hell Sun, a Jigoku Taiyou is a flaming, star creature that is the counter part of a Jigoku Tsuki. Much like it's nocturnal counterpart, a Jigoku Taiyou gives off light but, is far larger than a Jigoku Tsuki and usually has several Circles orbiting around IT instead of the other way around. A Jigoku Taiyou is an aimless being that wanders the infernal cosmos, taking the Circles that orbit around it's burning form on along with it in it's travels across the Jigokusekai. All Jigoku Taiyou are able to create their own energy, but will not abstain from eating things if they so wish. It is not uncommon for a Jigoku Taiyou to swallow Circles and Jigoku Tsuki's caught in it's path. Much like the Jigoku Tsuki, a Jigoku Taiyou is the main source of light in the Circles it has orbiting it. With a Jigoku Taiyou, there is a sense of day and night for the Circles it has orbiting it, being the light given off by a Jigoku Taiyou is far brighter than that of a Jigoku Tsuki. Circles that have Jigoku Taiyou as their light source are known as 'Day Worlds'.

Jigoku Taiyou usually don't have the luxury of crossing the border between the infernal realm and the mortal one, as their sheer size and mass cannot be easily transported through a single dimensional portal. In order to teleport a Jigoku Tsuki into the mortal realm, it takes a massive amount of Devil Mana (mana from several planets worth) to create a portal big enough to fit a Jigoku Taiyou through and even then, it's not guaranteed to hold as the influx of energy has to be stable and steady to hold a clear path. If the path shuts while the Jigoku Taiyou still inside, then it will destroy itself in a Supernova taking the Circles that foolishly tried to move it. It is speculated however, that, if a Jigoku Taiyou were to cross over and appear in the mortal realm, that the effects of it on the humans will be positively disastrous. A Jigoku Taiyou is essentially Devil Mana incarnate and gives off a far more than a Jigoku Tsuki ever would, for this reason, not only would it transform the humans exposed into Yaminingen, but it could very well corrupt the entire planet and transform it into a makeshift Circle. The corruption does not stop here and could very well spread to neighboring planets in the solar system, even reaching the Sun and twisting it into something vile and horrible. Some say that the normal sized Jigoku Taiyou could very well swallow the sun and drench the solar system in Devil Mana, as a result.

Because a Jigoku Taiyou is actually a living creature, there can be times where it can grow moody and will...eradicate life on the Circles it has around it without a moments notice. Because of this, demons under the rulers thumb keep close watch on the Jigoku Taiyou they are orbiting. It is possible to kill a Jigoku Taiyou but it takes a demon of very high power to do so without sustaining injury to him/herself. Jigoku Taiyou eventually die on their own when their bodies can no longer produce Devil Mana to sustain itself. If the Jigoku Taiyou doesn't detonate in a massive Supernova upon it's death, then Circle(s) orbiting it will become a 'Dark World', which is essentially a Circle drenched in eternal darkness until it finds itself orbiting either a Jigoku Tsuki or another Jigoku Taiyou. Demons living in a Dark World adapt quickly to the lack of light and thus, they develop much sharper senses over time. Dark World native demons are considered 'Superdevils' because of their exceptionally keen senses.

In most cases, a Jigoku Taiyou doesn't appear to have much of a shape beyond that of a sphere (like most stars), however there are some that have different shapes. The only known humanoid shaped Jigoku Taiyou is located in the Olden Nexus sector of the Jigokusekai.

Olden Nexus
- A timeless sector in the Jigokusekai that is composed of all things that were around when the Jigokusekai first came into existance. Demons and objects located here are well in the eons of age and have may have seen the first glimpses of creation when the Jigokusekai was just coming into existance. The first demon ever created is said to still live on here as the oldest known Jigoku-gami and is thought to be the very origin from demonkind itself.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tired/Warm on July 01, 2011, 07:57:57 AM
!!!

Ah, did I notice elements of the Hierarcie Infernale (excuse my butchered french remembering of the title of that particular grimoire)/ the Key o' Solomon/Paradisio/Purgatorio/Inferno mixed with elements of Buddhist cosmology? I notice that Yasha and Asura are fairly generically demonic in this, which is an interesting touch. Anyway! Do go on. I like!
 :*
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 02, 2011, 06:31:12 PM
So I've been working on this idea I've had for characters for Touhou but have been wanting help making them well rounded and authentic. In my quest to make them I even started looking at it as if it were to be made an actual game. So could you please tell me what you think and what I should alter?

Touhou: Quarantine Termination
(Thanks goes to a poster on another forum named Kirin, for helping me with making names for the characters and attacks)

Ittan Momen: No name yet, character is an Ittan Momen from Japanese mythology which is a youkai that looks like a long strip of fabric or smoke in its depictions. She spends her days floating on the breeze with not a care in the world, mostly just sleeping and singing to herself but when she runs into a person she gets real excited and greets them politely before attempting to hug them, but she often times almost suffocates the person she's hugging, if someone refuses her hugs or evades them enough then she will get upset, thinking they don't like her, and will then initiate a danmaku battle in an attempt to force them to give her a hug. A notable characteristic about her clothes is that she wears one of those cloths that cover the front and back of your body (Like the one Ran wears http://images.wikia.com/touhou/images/6/64/Ran.png) that's back half is much much longer than usual and that is prehensile, allowing her to grab things (Or people).

Chimura Genko (Means Dancing Child of the Earth Village): Chimura is a Dogu created by a person to guard a temple along with three others but she was considered a bit of a failure by her creator as she isn't very powerful. Chimura therefore instead visits all of Gensokyo and returns to the temple to share what news she has learned. She has a very spirited personality and channels it into two things she loves, dancing and racing, her specialty in battles then is her great speed. I imagine her sometimes doing that one legged sideways hop that Kabuki dancers do and doing pirouettes around the screen. In reference to how Doguu have large eyes she wears goggles on her head and puts them on when she races/fights. She'd usually be seemingly oblivious to the world, dancing whenever she feels like it regardless of occasion, but at times she'll use this as a way to surprise people by making them think she's not paying attention to things. Her special ability is that she can take illness or negative emotions from someone and place them in a pot which she then destroys thereby eliminating it. She has a clay horse for a pet that also serves as her mid boss, later in the game she becomes the mid boss for Futoseki (Profile is further down) while riding this horse.

Aoi/Aka Manto: No name yet either, an Aoi Manto or Aka Manto is a youkai that waits in a bathroom for someone to enter to which they ask whether they want a blue cape or a red cape and then strangles them for the former and slashes their neck for the latter. She is rather impatient and has grown to hate the traditional way her kind deal with humans because it takes too long and isn't flashy and pretty enough for her tastes, so she decided to ditch that and instead hunt people actively. To this end she made herself a magician so she could draw attention and look glamorous too. She's also one of the more dangerous characters in that she kills humans actively and is very aggressive about it but at the same time she's also a suffering artist, since she kills the people that see her tricks, she doesn't get to know whether they were good or not nor does her reputation get around much because of it, so she's always trying to come up with new magic tricks. In the scenario I have for all these characters, she would be using a mountain pass as her place to practice new tricks since it's away from prying eyes when she runs into whoever the player is playing as. Either she'd be eager to test her new trick or she'd be angry that someone found her before she finished it, I'm not sure which. One of her secrets is that she carries a magicians wand that has instead of white ends, a blue and red one, she can remove these ends and inside the red one is a knife and in the blue one is some cord tied into a noose. Her special ability might be to phase in and out of reality or perhaps she simply knows allot of magic. The phrase she lives by is Matsu Tsumi which means, "To wait is to sin."

After watching some vids I've felt inspired to make more spell card attacks. For one thing my Aoi Manto's danmaku will be different depending on the color, if blue then they're circles and move slowly but if red then they're shaped like a blade and move quickly, add to this her ability to change what color they are, perhaps with a tell of her changing the color of her cape. I've got one where she creates a sort of blue laser noose around you that slowly closes in while her bullets come at you from the outside until eventually the noose disappears. I've also been thinking of one where she throws black cards out around the field which then flip to reveal either a blue side or a red side and then fire a bunch of danmaku from them depending on the color. Also, (Getting inspiration from DD's drawing) I think an attack where she poofs out of existence then poofs back in in order to rush you with the knife she has in her wand, while her cape drops cards from itself which fire danmaku in her wake would probably be a good attack as well, this could go in line with the attack idea I had earlier with her making several puffs of smoke to make it so you don't know which one she'll come at you from.

A very kind person named DDdreamer has offered to draw these characters for me and has already drawn the http://dddreamer.deviantart.com/#/d3iyxix Please visit her profile and look at her art if you have the time.

Hokabe Futouseki ( Means "Guardian wall of unbeaten stone".): I've had this character idea in my head for a long time and just recently got the inspiration and motivation to really work on this idea. Essentially this character would be a Nurikabe, a wall youkai that was said to appear before travelers at night and stop them from passing, having the ability to extend forever in distance and height. I decided to use the legend of Benkei to help me mold this character's design, she guards a bridge at the entrance to a Buddhist temple (More specifically, the wall that encircles it) where her creator lives.

In terms of appearance she would wear some traditional samurai armor except with no helmet, she would have only one eye, the other being covered by an eye patch, and the eye she does have would usually be half lidded (Like the eye of many depictions of Nurikabe), I got a suggestion for her hair to be a wild and spiky ponytail which sounds good to me, I think it would be a dark gray color like stone, she would also be very flat-chested. She also carries a naginata called 'The Marlin', that is actually two things in one, it can be a naginata or a fishing pole which she uses to fish from the river her bridge goes over. For personality, she would be very confident in herself, very calm and not easily riled up, very happy with the simple things in life however she also has a great liking of personal items as she believes they can give you a connection to the person they belong to so whenever someone wanders by the temple and attempts to get in she asks that they leave or beat her in battle first and if they lose they have to give her something of theirs. If this were a game then she'd have made it to 999 items before Reimu or Marisa beat her.

As for ability, she would be able to make walls appear from the ground, this would feature heavily in her danmaku battles. For one phase I have the idea of her making a mass of bullets that form a maze that you would have to navigate while shooting her (She doesn't move from her position and can't even fly, she get's up high by creating a wall beneath herself), another thing would be her sending out several walls lined up side by side towards your side of the screen that you would have to focus on destroying in order to escape. Another is two walls coming in from the left and right that would decrease the space you can move. She would also be able to swing her naginata at you if you get too close to her. After being beaten, she would not disappear but instead be knocked unconscious while standing upright (A detail about her is that she sleeps standing up) to mimic how Benkei died standing.

Here I have some names for her spell cards.

Puzzle Sign: Maze of Fifteen: This is the attack where she creates a maze made of danmaku bullets.

Wall Sign: Twin Parallel Roads: Is the attack where she summons two walls to close in on the player to restrict their movement.

Falling Sign: Sky Compression: The attack where she summons walls to move down towards the player to crush them.

Ananta & Nitya Hogasha (Names mean "infinite or endless" and "always and eternal" respectively while their last name means "guardian or protector"): These two would be shishi, lion statues that are placed outside temples and shrines. Ananta is the elder sister and is the open mouth shishi (The open mouth represents Ah, the first sound in the Japanese alphabet) and Nitya is the younger brother and is the closed mouth shishi (The closed mouth represents N, though it's pronounced Un, which represents the last sound in the Japanese alphabet). Ananta is very loud and is the one that does all the talking for the two, Nitya never saying anything or at best getting one or two words out, she would have a Misandric streak to her and be very hard on her brother. Their abilities are "creation" and "nonexistence", Ah being the first sound of the alphabet made me think Ananta should have the ability to simply create things (To an extent of course) while N being the last Nitya should have the ability to make things not exist. Ironically, Ananta is in the habit of making things just so she can destroy them while Nitya struggles to make things the hard way because he likes to create. The two can also combine their powers to make illusions, things that exist while at the same time don't exist. They both guard the temple proper.

In terms of appearance, Ananta wears a Sugegasa, one of those symbol like hats you see people wear and Nitya wears a Roningasa which obscures the top half of his face. On Ananta's hat is the symbol for Alpha and on Nitya's is the symbol for Omega, another thing is that they both have on their sleeves, half the symbol for infinity, when they wish to combine their powers they hold hands and their sleeves line up to make the full symbol (Insert Wonder Twin joke here). I think color wise that Ananta should wear orange and purple, orange is the color Buddhist monks wear and purple represents rebirth in India (The closes I could get to creation being symbolized as a color) while Nitya would wear orange and white, white symbolizing death.

Once again, as for fighting, I don't have as much an idea for these two except that they would fight together obviously and that Nitya's ability to make things not exist would manifest itself in him creating small blackhole like things that suck in bullets, perhaps having him weave across the screen doing this or setting up some around the area. When one twin falls then the other will go into a rage, Ananta showing a "tsundere" moment where stutters then swears their attacker will pay, while Nitya either says nothing or perhaps just shouts "REVENGE!" but in either case you would briefly see his eyes flash in a bright color through the eye holes of his hat before he starts attacking.

Buddhist Monk: No name for her yet, this is the person that created the Hogasha siblings, Futoseki and Genko. She has been around since about the time when the Hakurei Border was put up and has been stuck in Gensokyo since then due to it. Perhaps her parents were part of the group that made it in the first place. But eventually she was the only person left at her shrine/temple. So she decides that come hell or high water, that she will bring down the barrier separating Gensokyo from the outside world. Her special ability is to transfer things like life, spirits, and energy, so she made made the shishi, nurikabe and doguu to protect her, and keep her company and she then set about the preparations for tearing down the barrier, for a couple years she set up all the elements for her plan which involved her spending many many years slowly collecting energy into a giant pot which would eventually have enough energy for her to use to break the barrier. I'm debating whether the reason she's still alive is either she sealed herself away to collect this energy over time or she had Ananta use her ability to create and had her make a new body for herself which she then used her powers to put her soul into. Basically in this story it would be close to the time when she would have enough energy to finally pierce the veil and either it's become so much energy that people and youkai are starting to notice or she flubbed a little and some of the energy leaked out, either way it would get the attention of Reimu who would then go to investigate.

For her appearance I haven't thought up much except that she would wear some sort of altered Buddhist clothes and carry a khakkhara with four rings. I was thinking that after her incident is over that she is reminded of what kind of life she is supposed to live as a Buddhist by Reimu pointing out what the four rings on her khakkhara are supposed to represent one being that she needs to be removed of her desires in order to avoid suffering. But she's also told that she could just leave Gensokyo by going through Reimu's shrine which leads to some despair on her part over all the years she spent on her plan but she decides to stay because she'd have to leave her creations behind if she were to leave.

EX Stage Boss: No name yet but this character is a three eyed oni that has been imprisoned and sealed in the mountains around the Buddhist temple, after the earlier events the large amount of energy that the monk character was collecting ended up being released in a huge blast that caused the seals on her to be destroyed. She has a really unhinged sort of personality, but not in the nice crazy way but in the brain damaged way. Sudden pauses in sentences, forgetting what she's doing, ect. As for some physical characteristics, her right eye looks crazed in the style you see in cartoons and anime where there are extra circles around the iris, I'm thinking her having manacles like Yuugi and Suika but hers actually serve a function in that she has some on her legs that are attached to each other by a short chain so she can't run fast and she has one attached to her left arm and left horn which is short enough so that it keeps her arm from moving lest she pull her head down (It keeps her arm behind her back), she's supposed to have the same kind on her right horn but she actually broke it off herself so she could move at least one arm. Reason she can't break them is because they've been cursed so that only someone else can remove them. As said before, she has some brain damage due to a fight from a long time ago which is why she was sealed up because she's now a loose cannon. I'm thinking her special ability is the power to control pressure, any kind of pressure, from air pressure to spiritual pressure, this power is used most often for her to control wind, fortunately she's not as strong as she was before her injury due to her not completely understanding her power anymore. I think she should carry a sake jar around with her in an unusual way, the horn that she broke off is still attached to the end of her manacle, I think she would use the horn as a plug for the jar and she uses her power over pressure to keep the horn in place.

The time line for this could be broken down this way.

Someone senses a disturbance due to the power the monk is gathering going out of control a for a short moment.
This someone then goes out to investigate by heading in the direction of the disturbance.
They fight the Ittan Momen who is just wandering around who asks to hug her but is denied and so a fight breaks out which the Ittan Momen loses.
They enter a pass between mountains and first run into Genko's horse then Genko herself.
Genko recognizes the person due to her knowledge of the goings on in Gensokyo, asks why they're there and then panics a bit, being worried they'll ruin things for her creator, she then fights them.
Genko loses but run off to warn everyone back at the temple.
The person then continues through the mountain pass and runs into the Aoi/Aka Manto. Depending on the person the Aoi/Aka Manto either gets angry that someone has intruded on her before she's perfected her new trick or attempts to ask them to pick a blue or red card (To either strangle or knife them) and gets told off by the person who says they aren't stupid enough to answer that question.
The two fight and the Aoi/Aka Manto loses and is forced to tell the person what she knows about the pass and what she should expect and she tells them about the temple.
Person runs into Genko again who has prepared for war and is riding her horse but is again defeated.
Person meets Futouseki who compliments them for the things they've heard (Or berates them) about them and then tells them to fight her and talks of her excitement of gaining her 1000th item.
Futouseki then loses and the person goes into the temple area.
The person finds themselves suddenly in what looks like space and is assaulted by many enemies but eventually is confronted by Ananta and Nitya who had been creating an illusion which they dispel because it wasn't working which reveals them all to be right in front of the temple.
Ananta and Nityat then fight the person and lose.
Person gets into the temple and finally finds the monk who talks about why she's doing it and then decides that she can waste a little bit of the energy she's gathered to defeat the person (She's not very strong normally).
The monk is defeated and the pot with the energy goes wild and destroys most of the temple.
The person gives some sort of talk about how what the monk was doing was wrong and the monk then apologizes and becomes determined to follow a different path with her creations by her side.
Some time later the monk requests help from the person because of disturbances occurring near her temple which turn out to be the three eyed oni who is destroying things.
The oni is beaten and the people of the temple decide to see if they can't do something to fix her at which point the story ends.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 06, 2011, 01:00:26 AM
I'm doing a chapter for Cirno in Autobiographies of Interesting Characters. I need to make the character deep and 3 dimensional. I have her chapter ready, but I need someone to judge the character depth and help me make Cirno a deeper and more interesting character.

Making a good story will take a back seat to making a good character, and the chapter is mostly about building Cirno's character.

Would anyone be interested in editting the chapter?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 06, 2011, 02:56:16 PM
I'm doing a chapter for Cirno in Autobiographies of Interesting Characters. I need to make the character deep and 3 dimensional. I have her chapter ready, but I need someone to judge the character depth and help me make Cirno a deeper and more interesting character.

Making a good story will take a back seat to making a good character, and the chapter is mostly about building Cirno's character.

Would anyone be interested in editting the chapter?

I can take a go at it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 06, 2011, 08:29:40 PM
Ah, I forgot, but how do you want me to respond to your E-mail?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 06, 2011, 08:34:51 PM
Ah, I forgot, but how do you want me to respond to your E-mail?

The easiest way is to query me on http://webchat.ppirc.net/?channels=scarlet-library but you'll have to tell me your IRC name for me to query you. I'll try to be on in about 45 minutes to an hour as capt EDIT: and I should be on most the night (although the chat room may be in the background). At around 9:00 EST.

If that doesn't work for you, then replying with a PM would also work.

And thanks!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 07, 2011, 12:51:58 AM
The easiest way is to query me on http://webchat.ppirc.net/?channels=scarlet-library but you'll have to tell me your IRC name for me to query you. I'll try to be on in about 45 minutes to an hour as capt EDIT: and I should be on most the night (although the chat room may be in the background). At around 9:00 EST.

If that doesn't work for you, then replying with a PM would also work.

And thanks!

Okay, I tried clicking on your your name so I could get to your profile so I could hopefully find the PM option but when I do it says I'm not allowed on that page and you don't have your E-mail put up so... And after trying to just send one I'm told I'm not allowed to send PMs either. I don't get it...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 07, 2011, 01:08:27 AM
Too new. You probably need to post more. I think you can send PMs after 10 posts.

EDIT: I'm still in the chat if it's easier, but you can probably wrack up enough posts in a minute here:
http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/board,12.0.html
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 07, 2011, 04:47:38 AM
*sigh* (Rubs forehead) Such an inconvenience, and I'd rather send it to you through a PM, I feel like I'd be able to give a better play by play description of what I thought of it that way.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 07, 2011, 05:04:35 AM
I suppose we could do it here.

There are spoiler tags, but I'm not sure how to explain them because if I write them out they'll disappear and make spoiler text. You can probably copy the quote to get the idea.

Quote this, and copy the boxes around this sentence for spoilers.

It doesn't particularly matter though. This time, I'm doing it for myself (making my own reference materials), so I don't mind spoiling everything here. I'd rather do the back and forth publicly than not finish up Thursday night.

You can probably fill the ten posts by spamming this board fpor five minutes: http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/board,12.0.html

Anyway, it's too late for me to work on the chapter tonight (It's 1 AM), so we can get back together tomorrow.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 08, 2011, 05:46:49 AM
Specter von Baren - As I said I would in our PM's here is my opinion of what you have brought - 

Concerning your story

1. I am very American, and 0% Japanese. I can not give advice concerning names or anything that that I know directly references Japanese culture, because the best I can say is that as an American I find it strange, unnecessary, and unbeneficial to your characters, since as an American reader I cannot relate to Japanese culture.

2. I can not advise or give advice concerning danmaku in written form. Danmaku is a visual medium by nature, and I can not do its visual essence justice in text form; I'm not sure anyone can. That is one reason why I have chosen to avoid the spell card rules as much as possible when writing fiction.

3. Show, don't tell. I can only get a vague feeling for your characters and their quality from your descriptions. It would be a good idea to have the characters talk a little, so that I can get a feel for their personalities and their voices. I have their informed traits, but I need to know how you will bring the traits together to judge the characters properly.

4. Are you sure you want one of your characters to be based on the power of hugs? It's hard to take such a character seriously, and I don't think you are writing a comedy.

5. I do like the red card = knife, blue card = strangle thing.

6. I'm a little concerned about your monk and your oni. The oni sounds tortured, so it depends on the direction you want to go I suppose, but it seems like as the story progresses, your protagonist is facing increasingly crippled and weakened characters.

Anyway, these are the mental images I get when I picture your characters

Ittan Momen - I picture this character working best as, I guess the word would be a yandere (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Yandere). Hugging people to death and attacking them when they refuse, she's probably a psychotic version of "I don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?"

Chimura Genko - My first impression is an extremely flamboyant character that often breaks out into Michael-Jackson-eque dance moves to narrowly dodge. Not bad company, but has a very different understanding of norms of behavior which involve unnecessarily dramatic posturing, and very much a character that lives in her own little world. Not a fan of her ability.

Aoi/Aka Manto - I don't see a reason for the bathroom backstory. I picture this character as the hammiest character ever. Incredibly overdramatic, views the whole world as her audience to a never ending show. I like the idea of magic on top of magic tricks, so that even the mages can't figure out what's going on, and I like the idea that the tricks kill. For this character to be relevant, you need to either 1. establish inherent limitations in magic which she seems to overcome with trick, or 2. establish that she is unsuccessful because all her tricks can be easily explained by magic, even though they aren't. She herself though might consider herself the best magician ever, and everyone who criticizes her magic as naive.

Hokabe Futouseki - I picture a good nature and devoted guard. Generally friendly, but she will protect her charge to the death. If I understand her correctly, she should casually, constantly be building walls and using them for every purpose imaginable.

Ananta & Nitya Hogasha - I'm not sure if I would use a silent character in the medium of writing; because dialog is such an important dimension in establishing character. I picture Ananta as a loud mouth that tends to cut her sister off, while Nitya is usually trying to get her sister to so some restraint.

Buddhist Monk - I'm not seeing much character here, but from your description I would say revenge is the primary quality, and a hatred for the land of fantasy. She would need to be given a reason for that hatred. You need more depth.

Three eyed oni - This character sounds like a troll in the traditional sense. By that I mean a hulking, hideous upright monster thing that has little intelligence or personality. You probably don't need more depth if all you want is an ugly monster to put before the heroes, but if you want to give this character some character, you should probably get rid of the brain damage. You need to decide that you want this monster to be nothing more than a monster, and you need to decide if you want to end your story with everyone fighting a plain old monster. I don't think I can justifiably call this character an intelligent being in its current form.

What I'm getting at is, are you sure you want your Ex-boss to just be a godzilla, or should your Ex-boss have some personality?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 08, 2011, 03:52:01 PM
Chimura Genko - My first impression is an extremely flamboyant character that often breaks out into Michael-Jackson-eque dance moves to narrowly dodge. Not bad company, but has a very different understanding of norms of behavior which involve unnecessarily dramatic posturing, and very much a character that lives in her own little world. Not a fan of her ability.

Well her ability was based on one of the theories for what Doguu's were used for in the past which was that people would use them as a talisman for health and then thrown away when the good health came to the person.

Aoi/Aka Manto - I don't see a reason for the bathroom backstory. I picture this character as the hammiest character ever. Incredibly overdramatic, views the whole world as her audience to a never ending show. I like the idea of magic on top of magic tricks, so that even the mages can't figure out what's going on, and I like the idea that the tricks kill. For this character to be relevant, you need to either 1. establish inherent limitations in magic which she seems to overcome with trick, or 2. establish that she is unsuccessful because all her tricks can be easily explained by magic, even though they aren't. She herself though might consider herself the best magician ever, and everyone who criticizes her magic as naive.

The reason for the bathroom is that it explains why she doesn't do what traditional people of her kind do.

Hokabe Futouseki - I picture a good nature and devoted guard. Generally friendly, but she will protect her charge to the death. If I understand her correctly, she should casually, constantly be building walls and using them for every purpose imaginable.

Ananta & Nitya Hogasha - I'm not sure if I would use a silent character in the medium of writing; because dialog is such an important dimension in establishing character. I picture Ananta as a loud mouth that tends to cut her sister off, while Nitya is usually trying to get her sister to so some restraint.

Well Nitya is actually a boy but anyway, one of the things I thought of was that Nitya would often try to speak up but end up getting cut off by his sister while he makes an "Unnnn..." noise whenever it happens. If this WERE a story then I'd simply have Nitya's emotions be conveyed through his body language.

Buddhist Monk - I'm not seeing much character here, but from your description I would say revenge is the primary quality, and a hatred for the land of fantasy. She would need to be given a reason for that hatred. You need more depth.

My thought is that she actually hate youkai because it's thanks to youkai that she's the only human left at her temple. You may ask why then she has a Nurikabe as a body guard, well that's because Futouseki is an artificial youkai since she was actually created by her.

Three eyed oni - This character sounds like a troll in the traditional sense. By that I mean a hulking, hideous upright monster thing that has little intelligence or personality. You probably don't need more depth if all you want is an ugly monster to put before the heroes, but if you want to give this character some character, you should probably get rid of the brain damage. You need to decide that you want this monster to be nothing more than a monster, and you need to decide if you want to end your story with everyone fighting a plain old monster. I don't think I can justifiably call this character an intelligent being in its current form.

She's not ugly or a monster though, the thing about her is that she switches between moments of "insanity" and moments of clarity. Usually she isn't a threat to anyone but if she gets overly confused or emotional then she lashes out at things but then can end up realizing what's happened and get upset over it. This isn't a monster that just swings wildly at people, she's a person that's suffering.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 08, 2011, 03:53:56 PM
Well her ability was based on one of the theories for what Doguu's were used for in the past which was that people would use them as a talisman for health and then thrown away when the good health came to the person.

The reason for the bathroom is that it explains why she doesn't do what traditional people of her kind do.

Well Nitya is actually a boy but anyway, one of the things I thought of was that Nitya would often try to speak up but end up getting cut off by his sister while he makes an "Unnnn..." noise whenever it happens. If this WERE a story then I'd simply have Nitya's emotions be conveyed through his body language.

My thought is that she actually hate youkai because it's thanks to youkai that she's the only human left at her temple. You may ask why then she has a Nurikabe as a body guard, well that's because Futouseki is an artificial youkai since she was actually created by her.

She's not ugly or a monster though, the thing about her is that she switches between moments of "insanity" and moments of clarity. Usually she isn't a threat to anyone but if she gets overly confused or emotional then she lashes out at things but then can end up realizing what's happened and get upset over it. She's dangerous because she's unpredictable she can go from happy to sad to angry in a minute. This isn't a monster that just swings wildly at people, she's a person that's suffering.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 08, 2011, 04:41:51 PM
3 eyed oni - Mismatched eyes, broken horns, chains, long pauses in sentences cause by brain damage (which probably left a scar) - My first impression from the description is that she sounds like a monster, and the brain damage led me to believe that she was reduced to babbling and mindless. I'm getting a Frankenstein description.

I do not believe I can judge the version of this character you described in your previous post. This is because I somewhat strongly dislike the character type you are making her out to be. Your character sounds like a simpleton who has to be put down for her own safety and the safety of everyone around her - too stupid to understand the consequences of her actions due to being legally retarded, which frankly makes her an innocent character that you plan to beat into submission because she does not possess the ability to know any better. Many, many good stories have such a character, but it always hurts me a little on the inside to see it (maybe intentionally, on the part of the writer), which limits my ability to be objective (or universal, which I personally consider more important than objective, but that would take a long time to explain, has to do with personal writing philosophy, and doesn't help you).

Chimura Genko - I still don't particularly like the ability to store disease in a pot and then break the pot to eliminate it. I'm very American remember; knowing of the Japanese backstory will not make it more culturally relatable to me. Personal preferences, I suppose.

Aoi/Aka Manto - I have no idea what her people traditionally do or even what her species is, so I don't understand your explanation of her bathroom antics. However, the theme of a character or being forcing a false choice on passerbys, such as left versus right with each resulting in a different kind of death, is relatable. Kind of like the hermit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2R3FvS4xr4) that asked three questions, and was tricked into falling into his own trap. The true solution is to not answer the question at all, the best solution is to trick the questioner into answering incorrectly.

Nitya Hogasha - Are you writing a story, or are you making a game? The difference is significant.

Buddhist Monk - I'm still not seeing much character here. You should discuss the exact reason she wants to bring the border down. You should probably go into more detail about how the characters relate to eachother. For example, Monk and Hokabe Futouseki (and Genko) - Are they mother/daughter? Employee/employer? Teacher/student? Leader/follower? How does Ananta and Nitya fit into this "family?"
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Specter Von Baren on July 08, 2011, 05:41:39 PM
3 eyed oni - Mismatched eyes, broken horns, chains, long pauses in sentences cause by brain damage (which probably left a scar) - My first impression from the description is that she sounds like a monster, and the brain damage led me to believe that she was reduced to babbling and mindless. I'm getting a Frankenstein description.

I do not believe I can judge the version of this character you described in your previous post. This is because I somewhat strongly dislike the character type you are making her out to be. Your character sounds like a simpleton who has to be put down for her own safety and the safety of everyone around her - too stupid to understand the consequences of her actions due to being legally retarded, which frankly makes her an innocent character that you plan to beat into submission because she does not possess the ability to know any better. Many, many good stories have such a character, but it always hurts me a little on the inside to see it (maybe intentionally, on the part of the writer), which limits my ability to be objective (or universal, which I personally consider more important than objective, but that would take a long time to explain, has to do with personal writing philosophy, and doesn't help you).

O_o When did I say she was a simpleton or that she was going to be put down? She hasn't been made retarded because of her brain damage, it hasn't made her any less intelligent,  it's just caused problems for her train of thought, think of it like how a person with short term memory loss would react to things except add to that that sometimes her wires get crossed and she misinterprets what's happening to her. I also said earlier that after she's been fought that the people of the temple would attempt to help her out with her problems, it's been a long time since she was sealed away and both she herself and the people that sealed her didn't think there was a way to actually help her deal with her condition.

This is also a situation that shows that my monk character has started to move on from her former prejudice because she's now attempting to help out an oni, a youkai that she used to hate.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on July 10, 2011, 08:09:45 AM
Hello, newbie here. Tvtropes linked me to this site from their Fanfiction Recommendation page, and I was quite pleased to find a dedicated and fairly populous fanfiction subforum.  :)

I'm heavily contemplating writing a "backstory"-type fanfic on my favourite Touhou character: Fujiwara no Mokou. But while I'm confident that my writing skills aren't so terrible that they'll burn out the eyes of readers, I'm far less familiar with the Western Touhou fandom's tastes in derivative works, so I'm making my first post here to throw out my ideas and test the waters, to see if the story I'm thinking of will be acceptable or be loathed by all. This isn't to say that I plan on merely pandering for the sake of popularity, but I still would like to see whether the general reaction to my story's premise will be, "Huh, this could be interesting" or, "OH GOD WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN-"

So, as I said, the story I'm hoping to write will trace Mokou's backstory, filling in the details of the years between her tasting the Forbidden  DrinkTM (which should be early 8th Century AD) and her running into Kaguya again (~18th Century AD) .

Disclaimer Regarding Canon
--Although I respect the following of Touhou canon, I will have to discard it if it gets too much in the way of what I think would be an interesting story. This means that, if possible, I will be sticking to canon (or at least not write events and dialogue that directly contradict it), but if I feel that it is necessary it will be discarded. Also, due to the nature of this derivative work, a great number of details will necessarily have to be invented. For example, among other things this fic will explore how Mokou gained her pyromancy powers, got white hair, got her distinct clothing, her phoenix motif, etc.

General Facts:
--As mentioned before, the story will focus almost entirely on Mokou and her life from ~8th Century AD to ~18th Century AD.
--Notable events in Japanese history and famous and/or legendary historical Japanese figures will make their appearance as appropriate; the latter will range from major secondary characters who make significant impacts on Mokou's life and personality to cameos and off-hand mentions.
----This means that Mokou will likely travel across much of Japan before she settles in Gensokyo's Bamboo Forest of the Lost.
----Other Touhou characters will also make appearances if appropriate.
--The story will probably be divided into 3 arcs; the first taking place from ~700 AD to ~1000 AD, the second from ~1000 AD to ~1300 AD, and the third from ~1300 AD to ~1700 AD, as these are three of the ?periods? that Mokou herself categorizes her immortal life.

Mokou
--Note: I will admit that I have yet to play the Touhou games. I'm very familiar with a lot of Touhou derivative work (doujin, music, etc.), but I have little interest in shoot-em-ups and 2D fighting games, which, unfortunately, all canon Touhou games are. That means that I'm much more familiar with fanon interpretations of Mokou than canon ones. I've read all the canon Touhou material involving Mokou as I can (including Ch.4 of Cage in Lunatic Runagate), but my portrayal of Mokou may be a little off from canon ones, especially in the earlier chapters where Mokou's personality and thoughts will be different from the ones she will have later on.
--For the most part, Mokou's personality throughout the fic will match the ones mentioned in Lunatic Ch.4 (?For the first three hundred years...The next three hundred years...etc. Etc.?) As an example, I will likely write Mokou in her first three hundred years as a frightened, lonely child thrust from a life of wealth, luxury, and isolation into an unfamiliar world that hates her and despises her.
--Mokou will not gain her pyromancy abilities from drinking the Hourai Elixer?if the Lunatic Ch.4 images are anything to go by, then she seemed to have gained her abilities by at least her second 300-year period of life (the one where she apparently kills like a million youkai).
--I interpret Mokou's distinct physical characteristics (white (technically very light purple) hair, red eyes) as consequences of drinking the Hourai Elixer, so for pretty much all of the story her appearance will match the one we see in IN.
--Mokou's immortality is a little vague to me, so I'm thinking of setting down some rules as to how it works. Canon indicates that her immortality gives her eternal youth, regeneration, and some restrictions on where she can go (i.e. no trips to Hakugyokurou) but Mokou's immortality here will also exhibit the following phenomena...
----If cut off or damaged, Mokou's hair will grow back to whatever length it was before it was damaged. So if her hair was, say, 2 feet long and then got torn off by a rampaging demon, then when Mokou regenerates her hair will grow back to 2 feet in length. Her hair will also over time, so ?whatever length it was before it was damaged? will change over time. Thus, if Mokou's hair length becomes 4 feet in length some hundred years later, and it is then damaged or cut, then it will regenerate back to 4 feet in length. Mokou will therefore have no way of keeping her hair short unless she constantly snips off her hair at every waking moment. (This rule is in place primarily to explain the discrepancy between Mokou's hair before drinking the elixer and her appearance in Imperishable Night.)
----Mokou's body, while not needing food to function, will still digest foodstuffs if Mokou eats; this means that Mokou won't be running around with hundreds of years old food in her belly.   :barf: She'll get hungry, as canon indicates, but she'll never weaken from hunger, only be discomforted by it.



The details at the moment are, admittedly, rather sketchy at this point, partly because I still have a bit of research to do for some of the historical characters, and partly because I'm not especially good at planning. Nonetheless, I would highly appreciate it if someone could give my ideas a cursory glance and point out any glaring faults. I would also appreciate it if someone could help outline what exactly constitutes "NSFW" on this site; I read the forum rules and, although I have a pretty good idea as to what level of sexual content would equal Not Safe For Work, I'm less certain of how strictly it applies to violence and gore. While I don't plan on writing either Mokou's Murderfest 3000 or scenes reveling in blood and guts, I don't plan on being skirting aside the blood and violence, either, as I interpret Mokou's past to be a pretty dark and bloody one. At the moment, I'm planning going for, oh, an Assassin's Creed 2 level of violence;
 [nsfw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HIED-aARfk[/nsfw] (NSFWed just in case).

Again, any help and criticism are appreciated.  :)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on July 10, 2011, 09:05:26 AM
A backstory, hm? I've always wanted to see more of these. Don't worry about making the early part of the story a bit out of character; no one matures in a day. If you haven't played the games, go read the pre-Mokou-battle dialogue on THWiki.

Also, 1 million youkai just for a power? I will be watching. :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on July 10, 2011, 09:12:15 AM

Also, 1 million youkai just for a power? I will be watching. :V

A bit of a hyperbole on my part, but according to Lunatic Ch.4....

"The next three hundred years I spent harboring a grudge against this world, and was able to preserve the faintest sense of identity by immediately dispatching anything that crossed my path, youkai or otherwise."

...so by the time she could "dispatch anything that crossed her path", I figure she would've had that power. And who knows? Perhaps my Mokou will find immense catharsis in the charred corpses of ten thousand demons.  :V 

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on July 10, 2011, 09:18:52 AM
Killing is an artform! :getdown: But wasn't there an article somewhere in the wiki that talked about power coming from killing youkai?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on July 10, 2011, 09:30:29 AM
Killing is an artform! :getdown: But wasn't there an article somewhere in the wiki that talked about power coming from killing youkai?

If there is, I'm having difficulty finding it. Given that neither the Perfect Memento article on youkai nor Lunatic Ch.4 mention this, it must be an off-hand mention.

I've also never heard of this "Youkai give you XP lol" anywhere, in either canon or fanon...is this a feature that fanfic and doujin creators rarely mention?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on July 10, 2011, 09:31:49 PM
I (personally) wouldn't go with that rule concerning hair length; it has some unsettling implications about the future.

It might be easier to say she keeps it long for sentimental reasons.

You're going to need to know a lot of Japanese history to do this story. You should probably have an idea of the events that were going on during each era. For example, what would Mokou have experienced during the first 300 years? What were the current events to her?

Still, I always wanted to read this kind of story, so good luck!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on July 11, 2011, 02:08:52 AM
A setting focusing on outer space in my original setting. Most was inspired by One Piece but, I sorta gave up on writing it.

In the year 2019, an all out war between Mankind and space organisms called 'Cosmic Majins' has just come to pass as the single most destructive war in the history of our civilization. Earth, being the prime battleground for this war, is nearly destroyed in one attack of the Majins and the humans end up having to take the fight into space. During the nearly one-sided space battles, back on Earth, the remaining scientists (with the help of a lunar race known as the Lunamorphas) create biologically engineered super soldiers called 'Nues' and the biomechanical weapons called 'Talos' to combat the ruthless alien creatures. With the aid of their new weapons and a newfound ally from above, the humans managed to push back the Majin threat but at a grave cost of having a terribly beaten homeworld...

With little resources to rely on, the humans worked together with the Lunamorphas and have since taken their home to the stars and have begun colonizing several planets in the solar system. Now, in the year 2050, humans have achieved the power to travel at the speed of light enabling them to visit places they could never reach before...all thanks to the Lunamorphas who descended and aided them. The Cosmic Majins are still at large in the universe and are still enslaving planets under their rule, but with the humans and Lunamorphas (who have now established the Galactic Fedaration of Cosmic Order) they work to make sure the Majin's conquests are stopped and the universe can live in peace.

Our story takes place in the Solar System a day before the anniversary of the Majin War's end, during one of the many parties used to celebrate this time a mysterious message is sent to a select few indivudals via digital contact. The message contains one of the keys that may help in bringing down the Majin God and his forces... The Princess of Voids, the Majin God's daughter and the only one who is set to rule in his place if he is to be killed.

The message tells of her importance to the Majins and that she holds within her mind the one and only secret to killing the Majin God and crushing the Cosmic Majin regime. Indeed, the Cosmic Majins all had a weakness but if anyone is to discover this weakness they need to find and capture her and claim the fame that is rightfully theirs...

However...nowadays...there maybe more than just Majins that prove to be a threat to not only the peace but the entire universe as well...

[-Glossary-]

=Races=

Humans: We all know what these are and what they're capable of so I won't go into too much detail about them biologically. Originally from Earth but after the Majin War tore the blue planet a new one, Humans sought to make Space their new home and have done a remarkable job in doing so as well. Colonizing planets and creating space stations across the galaxy. Humans while the weakest of the races have become highly versed in technology and invention, giving birth to constructions that even the Majins can't create (usually because the Majin's can't understand the signifigance of technology, despite being a 'superior race').

Nue: A genetically altered human that was given animalistic properties via genetic manipulation. First created near the beginning of the 'Majin War' to give the humans a better edge against the superhuman aliens. Nues are far stronger than any normal human, and have the lifespan to outlive most of them as well. Some of the stronger sets of Nues are able to transform into the beasts they were created from, these Nues known as an Awakened Nue. However, only those with a strong enough will are able to do so plus it takes far more effort to control oneself, via rationality, when in this state. For example; if a Nue that is strong enough to transform, but does not have the rationality to control themself, they will then go completely wild and usually can't revert back until they've been sedated or killed. This problem has always existed within the Nues (in fact, it was one of the first problems that arose when the first Nue was created) and the scientists have worked nonstop to find away to override it. Unfortunately, it seems as though that this ability to transform is a manifestation of a Nue's animalistic nature (while their heightened intellect and ability to reason is a latent trait of their human nature), thusly such a problem cannot be effectively erased lest you opt to rid a Nue of his or her animal like properties all together.

Now that the wars are over, Nues have since integrated into human populations although there are still some humans who only see them as the creation of man and thus do not believe Nues can be their equals. Ironic, considering the Cosmic Majins are about the same in this sense...

Talos: A similar variant to the Nue class, only more in tune with machines and technology. Created as a means to combine war vehicles and weaponrary with the human body, via nanomachines. Talos' tap into their super human powers by infusing their bodies with the nanomachines and transforming their once human forms into something bio mechanical. While a bit stronger than Nues in the sense of having a body of metal, Talos are experts at utilizing the skill known as Hacking (see below) and thus are key units when computers and technological missions are concerned. However Talos are also highly susceptible to Malware and Hacking attacks from rivaling opponents, the latter being responsible for corrupting a good number of Talos at one point after the war which resulted in the tragic "Madness Virus" event that took the lives of many until the creation of anti-virus program "Espoire". Ever since then, many humans are either afraid of Talos for this event, or despise them for taking their family from them in that cataclysm.

As of now, some of the Talos live alongside humans, but many of them have since seperated from their creators and dispersed elsewhere in the vast cosmos. It is now a common law among them to have their nanomachines disabled via a chip, lest they wish to be drafted in the military. The chip can be removed only by a special code that government officals are aware of. It is believed that the Talos who did not recieve the vaccine program during the Madness Virus outbreak are still out there...

Cosmic Majin: Inter galactic aliens from outer space who are regarded as the 'Elitist Assholes' of the universe. Attacked Earth in the year 2027 and later retreated after Earth proved 'too troublesome' to conquer. Cosmic Majin look humanoid for the most part, but are taller than earth humans and are look rather demonic some having horns, tails, oddly colored skin and even wings. Majins are a feared race through out the cosmos so much so that the mere mention of the word instills fear in everyone's hearts. Most are prideful of their Majin blood and look down on other species as an inferior race, which only leads to more wars (and even worse reputations). The ruler of them all, and usually an instigator for most of the wars and violence they commit, is known as the Majin God; Tlzokrsth. Tlzokrsth is a Majin so powerful that his very existence alone is said to defy the laws of the cosmos, so much so, that his movements are greatly restricted so is not to cause damage to the space/time continuum. Some would go so far as to say that he isn't even native to this known universe...

They are ranked as such; Terra Majin, Space Majin, Star Majin, Galaxy Majin, and Void Majin being at the top. It is believed that a human can become a Terra Majin (lowest ranked, usually civilian level), although doing so is strictly forbidden by law of the Galactic Fedaration of Cosmic Order. Violation of this law, even in the slightest of senses, is punishable by a swift (but not always painless) execution. No exceptions.

Cosmofauna: The 'sea monsters' of the cosmos. Many are extremely large by our standards the largest recorded Cosmofauna having eclipsed an entire planet. Cosmofauna are said to have originated from 'The Void'...a mysterious realm that no one knows anything about, nor are able to comprehend on what it truly is to the known universe. Scientists are attempting to study Cosmofauna but so far have been unsuccessful in capturing one. Only about a few are born with a human like appearance, but those that are born in humanoid form are usually giants compared to humans themselves, but as a result of their humanoid form they are ranked as the weakest among Cosmofauna most lacking the ability that regular Cosmofauna have which allows them to travel through the vaccuum of space. Rumors are beginning to spread that an even more powerful set of Cosmofauna exist somewhere in the Universe...needless to say, some people (especially the Galactic Fedaration of Cosmic Order)  are shitting themselves at the mere thought of a monster more powerful than a normal Cosmofauna...

Lunamorpha: Humanoid space bunnies who lived on the moon for eons hidden from our knowledge by the use of technology and general shyness. Lunamorhpas have a highly advanced technology, one that is far beyond our own. As such they are regarded as the most technologically skilled race in the Solar System their aide alone giving rise to many machines and inventions that many would believe was merely science fiction or just downright impossible to create. Lunamorphas are all born with the ability to use a Psionics their knowledge of the ability passing on to humans after the war and giving rise to the first PSI Soldiers thereafter. The Lunamorpha aided the humans in the Majin War by giving them the technology needed to create the Nues and Talos, since then Lunamorpha and Humans have been on good terms and have aided each other in many different matters.

=Organizations and Groups=

Galatic Federation of Cosmic Order: A sturdy form of government that was created by the Humans and Lunamorphas as a means to govern the masses across the Solar System. Also known as The Order, it accepts other races into it's ranks (barring Majins) and encourages lawful endeavors to said races when they join. Recently, despite their reputation for keeping the Solar System safe, the Order has been subject to a few reports of corruption among it's officals. It is these reports that resulted in a growing lack of trust towards the Order and the eventual creation of rouge bands such as pirates that deliberately seek to break laws as a form of 'Take That' to the Order.

Hunter's Guild: A division that is semi-affiliated with the government in a means of crime fighting and pirate hunting. The Hunter's Guild is an unofficial branch of government paided individuals who work to catch criminals and outlaws as a means of payment from the government, basically Bounty Hunters. Before, when the guild was first established, rules were a bit less strict and the government allowed Bounty Hunters to work "outside the law" on some occasions, which made for catching criminals slightly easier but also put alot of people in danger.  Now The Order has made it so Bounty Hunters can also suffer punishments if they break several laws (adeptly named Hunter Codes) that were created to moniter and control their activity. Many hunters usually abide by these laws, but there are few who get over...

Cult of the God Beasts: A religious cult that has slowly been gaining publicity over the years. Their purpose is to help the masses realize that the legendary Cosmofauna, Kamijuu, are in fact gods and that they should devote their wills and lives to them. There are 9 different 'religions' avaliable, 8 for the original Kamijuu and 1 for the God of Cosmofauna. Although they were at first harmless, now they appear to be having more violent disputes against non-believers. Their leader is unknown...

MetaGenesis: A mysterious group of Talos that had been infected with the Madness Virus during the cybernetic terrorist attack and have since believed that with the virus they have become more powerful than the average Talos (naming themselves as Meta-Talos). They haven't really been as active as everyone believes and have rarely taken much attention ever since they announced themselves to the public several years ago. The only real worry is the fact that they still harbor an active strain of the Madness Virus and can infect other Talos with it via their Hacking powers.

Kingdom of Asmodai: Those affiliated with the Majins, even if they are enslaved by them, fall into this category. No one exactly knows who first established the KoA or for how long it's been around, all that is know now is that it's rapidly expanding since the Majins are enslaving planets and other races as they go. The humans and the Lunamorpha were regarded as lucky in escaping the Majin's grip. The Kingdom is led by the powerful Majin God, while a smaller group, known simply as the Lessers of Solomon, act as the Majin God's political and defense system. It is unknown as to how many members are with in the Lessers of Solomon.

For now the Kingdom appears to be working to eradicate anyone who knows of the Princess of Voids and will usually go so far as to destroying an entire planet if it means keeping the Princess' identity and existence secret.

=Other=

Princess of Voids: The daughter of the almighty Majin God and heir to the Majin throne. Supposedly, she is the only one who knows her father's weakness and what it takes to kill him and his evil empire once and for all. No one has ever seen her face before (save for Tlzokrsth and a select few of the Lessers) and her location remains a heavily guarded secret among the tight lipped Majins. Now however, her existence has been revealed by an unknown individual and many seek to find the Princess as a means to gain the crucial weakness needed to defeat Tlzokrsth for good. Although her existence is known by some individuals now, her location is still unknown...it is believed that one of the Lessers might know of her location and as such some have begun to hunt for Lessers as a means of pulling the needed information from them (although most were killed in this endeavor)...

Kamijuu (lit. 'God Beast'): these abominations are the most powerful Cosmofauna around and obviously are the most feared. While their appearance is just as rare as the regular Cosmofauna, they still should not be taken as a mere myth, there have been sporadic reports of ruthlessly powerful Cosmofauna that laid waste to entire planets in only a matter of moments. So far only 1 has been discovered in it's infant stage (and has been sealed up promptly after), but many suspect that there are a total of 9 Kamijuu in the known universe. The 9th, and final, Kamijuu is rumored to be the "God of Cosmofauna".

Hacking: A form of 'magic' that was created by Hackers and later perfected by the Talos during the Majin War. Hacking is a type of technomancy that taps into the energies and elements of an alternate universe, known as Cyberspace, and manifests them into our own universe in the form of magic and various other phenomenon. Hacking is highly dependent on an energy called Code and those who house said energy are usually able to peform Hacking. Talos are born with Code in their body as it is needed for the Nanomachines, humans however usually have to undergo special training in order for their body to harbor this energy without any ill effects.

Madness Virus: A computer virus created by a terrorist group of unknown origin and name, the virus only effects the Talos and targets their brain. The virus invades the Talos' mechanized brain and overrides any other mental processes with it's malicious code, in the process all of their reason and rationality are erased and replaced with the viruses line of code which causes the infected Talos to fly into a murderous frenzy. The virus was soon put to a stop when an anti-virus program was used to remove it from the infected Talos. However there are still a few Talos who house the only live strain of the virus and have since learned to 'adapt' to being infected thus becoming stronger by harnessing the virus as a secondary power. These Talos are known as Meta Talos.

Shell: A shell is giant mech unit that was invented during the Majin War, through the collaboration of Lunamorpha and Humans. Although the Shells were used during the war for combat, the mechs themselves were not mass produced until 10 years after the war supposedly 'ended'. Shells come in 4 different class types: Light, Balanced, Heavy and Support. Light shells are used for speed and stealth, Balanced are just what the name suggests they are, Heavy are stritcly offensive and are rather slow, while Support is similar to light but only has gear that can give aide to other units. It is believed that these mech units are in fact a prototype of what would soon create the Talos race. Shell's are often regarded as the only defense against a Cosmofauna threat...

== Now for the story itself ==

Plot: In the year 2050, an all out war between Mankind and space organisms called 'Cosmic Majins' has just come to pass as the single most destructive war in the history of our civilization. Earth, being the prime battleground is nearly destroyed in one attack of the Majins and the humans end up having to take the fight into space. During the nearly one-sided space battles, back on Earth, the remaining scientists create biologically engineered super soldiers called 'Nues' to combat the deadly alien creatures. Amoung them is Yuuko Hoshitora, a Tiger Nue who is well known for her devastating physical strength and high potential in the battlefiled. However, soon after she enlisted into the army, the Cosmic Majin's withdraw claiming to have grown bored with killing so many humans with so little challenge to show for it. Everyone who's alive rejoices for their spared lives, Yuuko on the other hand, feels cheated about how she doesn't get to fight. More than a little peeved at her wasted talent, Yuuko disappears into the vastness of space only to return years later with a rag-tag group of followers who support her radical (and some would say utterly insane) new goal: Killing the Majin God; Tlzokrsth.

However to do this, one requires the exact coordinates to the Majin God's lair, the Nirvana Terminus, and the only one said to know is his daughter, the Princess of Voids. So with that logic in mind, Yuuko and her gang set out to kidnap the Princess from her mansion and take her hostage to lure the Majin God out so Yuuko can kill him in compensation for the many fights she missed.

However...they'll soon find out that they're little hostage is a charm for all sorts of bad luck, things only getting worse when word gets out of the Majin God's daughter being out in the open and a mess of bad company starts coming out from the cosmic woodwork; Bounty hunters, maddened biomechanical andriods, Slave traders, crazed cosmic cultists, eldritch creatures of deep space, the Galactic Federation of Cosmic Order and even the fiance of the Princess are all but a few obstacles Yuuko and her group have to overcome just to get to God's Egde...the location that holds the Nirvana Terminus and their destiny...

-Characters, so far, include...

Yuuko Hoshitora: Tiger Nue created for battle but sadly didn't get to test run her powers and now is a little peeved at the Majins for not letting her fight them. Impulsive and thinks everything can be solved by punching it hard enough (and if that doesn't you should punch it harder). Yuuko truly believes that she can Punch out Cthulhu kill Tlzokrsth with raw might and ferocity alone and doesn't take kindly to those who laugh at her for thinking this. However despite her rather questionable intentions and mindset, she can actually be a good friend to those she's close to, namely her "nakama". Leader of the (badly named) space pirate crew "The Space Rouges."

Rimi "Disk-Killer" Morris: A skilled hacker who travels with Yuuko and her rag tag group of 'vagabonds'. Plays true to the The Only Sane Man trope and usually tries to maintain what little reason the group has. Rimi dislikes taking any form of risks, and would rather avoid confrontation...even though she knows her leader is pretty much a battle crazy tigress. Case in point, she doesn't really have much confidence in the success of Yuuko's plan to kill Tlzokrsth, but keeps these misgivings inside so is to continue forward with her leader.

Diana Lise*: gun totting, trigger-happy, sharpshooter of Yuuko's group. The Stoic of the group who rarely speaks her mind and sticks to doing what she does best; shooting folks. Once a renowned member of the Hunter's Guild that managed to slay Nyx, older sister of the God Beast, Erebos, but later joined Yuuko when she found out that she would be able to fight Majins. Diana has a nasty habit of swearing alot...

Zak Yorick*: A former skate punk who was dragged into everything when he 'totally trashed' Rimi's computer during a freak accident involving his Airboard and a stray cat. Joined Yuuko's group because he wanted to see the vast cosmos. Being the youngest (second only to Rimi) of the group, Zak is seen as a child in the eyes of the older members. His reckless, irresponsible, and hotblooded nature don't really help his image much. However Zak has a knack for makng explosives and other nasty traps that actually prove useful, believe it or not. Is actually well skilled with using Shells of any kind, but excels at using Light type Shells.

Theodore Minos*: An aging Ox Nue that appears to be the resident old geezer of the group. Joined in order to keep an eye on these 'crazy youngins', namely Yuuko who has a real talent for getting herself into rather dangerous binds. Personally, Theodore's against Yuuko's decision to take the Princess of Voids as a hostage, but sees that his words won't change the mind of Yuuko in anyway, so he simply rolls with it. The 2nd strongest of the group, and is quite skilled in weilding his prized beam axe, Apis. He's not too shy with his fists either, having enough brute force to split the earth open if he wished.

"Princess of Voids" Hel*: The spoiled rotten daughter of Tlzokrsth who was kidnapped by Yuuko's group as a ransom for the Majin God to come out of hiding. Haughty, selfish and just down right bitchy. Takes great pride in her father's ability and sticks true to her Majin roots by looking down on 'inferior races', more so since she's royalty. Was kept in the Abyss of Eden, an alternate dimension created by her father, so she could remain hidden from the universe and the countless amount of folks who want the Majin's dead for their atrocities and crimes.

"Majin God" Tlzokrsth: The ruler over all Cosmic Majin everywhere and the final target for Yuuko and her group. There's a very good reason why he's called the Majin GOD; Housing an insane amount of strength, far beyond that of the high ranking Void Majins that are said to destroy planets if they so wished. Needless to say, there have been absolutely no accounts of opponents defeating him, let alone surviving more than 5 minutes in his absolutely soul crushing visage. Lives at the edge of the univers within the formidible palace known as Nirvana's Terminus, and barely moves due to his very existence distorting space and time to the point of creating dimensional anomalies at even the simplest of motions. Keeps his daughter in a seperate dimension so is to protect her from the massive amount of enemies that are trying to kill him and rid the cosmos of his damning prescence. It seems that, despite being an extremely powerful cosmic demon overlord who orchestrated countless wars that wiped out, or came close to wiping out, various other races...he's actually a good dad to his only daughter...go figure.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on July 11, 2011, 02:29:12 AM
I (personally) wouldn't go with that rule concerning hair length; it has some unsettling implications about the future.

The purpose of the hair length rule is to explain the apparent discrepancy between pre-elixer Mokou's and post-elixer Mokou's respective hair lengths. I asked myself, does a Hourai immortal's hair grow? And I decided that the answer was yes. I also asked myself, what happens to a Hourai immortal's hair if you cut it? And I figured the most reasonable answer ought to be that it simply grows back to its natural length before it was damaged. Also, I have plans for involving Mokou's hair length in her character development.

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You're going to need to know a lot of Japanese history to do this story. You should probably have an idea of the events that were going on during each era. For example, what would Mokou have experienced during the first 300 years? What were the current events to her?


Indeed. I'm still in the process of doing research, but after having taken a few college-level courses on Japanese history I'm a bit familiar as to how the general flow of history went in Japan from the beginning of the Heian period onwards. Some of the historical folks that Mokou will likely run into are Tomoe Gozen, Saigyou Houshi, Minamoto no Yoshitsune, and Benkei, among others (this means that Mokou will probably be heavily involved in the Genpei War, perhaps deciding its outcome in a subtle way). The Kemmu Restoration may be the cause of Mokou's ?loss of motivation towards everything?. And so forth. (This unfortunately means that Mokou will be sitting out during most if not all of the Sengoku Jidai, which makes me sad.)

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Still, I always wanted to read this kind of story, so good luck!

Thanks! I will begin writing the prologue and the first chapter today.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on July 13, 2011, 08:32:52 AM
More on witches and a look at how Magic works in my setting.

- Other Witch types -

Kitchen Witch
- A type of witch that is suited for magic centered around the kitchen, cooking and food. Unlike most other witches, Kitchen Witches are on good terms with humans as their work is usually sought after to bring good fortune to the cook and help others hone their culinary skills either through magic or traditional means. All Kitchen Witches possess the ability to conjure food and food beasts with their magic, however they only seem to use this for themselves and use their vast knowledge of culinary skills to teach those who wish to cook well and become an item in the kitchen. Some Kitchen Witches have a natural affinity for Pyro and Cryo Mana and thus have an easy time casting fire and ice base spells.

Artistic Witch
- A witch who is skilled in fusing both magic with the arts. Artistic Witches are renowened for their skills that work as a splendid combination of artistic genius and magical prowess, most being able to bring their works of art to life through their magical skill. Although they can be summoned to help others hone their skills in any art, they forbid themselves from teaching any human their magical secrets. To do so is usually considered a good way to keep the person from discovering how to truly create art rather than rely on magic to do the work for them. Artistic Witches usually have no Mana specialty to speak of and simply take up any sort of affinity as a back up for when they cannot cast Art Magic.

Beast Witch
- A witch who's seen as a more primal variation of the traditional witch, having more animalistic qualities and a far more physical attribute compared to the other witches. Beast Witches have dominion over a certain animal, using their magical to tame the beasts they represent and to summon them to their side for guidance and assistance as powerful familiars. Despite being fairly physical witches, Beast Witches do have affinity for traditional elemental spells like the ordinary witch would. However, Beast Witches combine this with their close combat skills and often rely on physical attacks embued with magical force to make their attaks twice as effective/deadly.

White Witch
- A witch often thought of as a contradition to what all witches stand for, a White Witch is a witch that delves in the holy and healing arts rather than the rest of magic like most other witches. Because of their position, as well as the overall disdain some of the Uber Witches seem to have over them, White Witches are often prime candidates to be taken in by the Holy Order and trained in the Sisterhood as a counter unit to continue the hunt and execution of witches who have, by some claims, grown far too powerful for the Holy Order to deal with by their usual tactics and techniques. White Witches also have a higher chance of befriending humans, most being exposed to them far more than the average witch due to their alliance with the Holy Order.

- Other Witch stuff -

Culinary Grimoire: A tome written by a kitchen witch and enchanted with her magic, imbuing it with her magical essence. These books contain recipes for both the kitchen as well as methods for creating or summoning food beasts. the spells in these tomes are usually only to be accessed by the witch who wrote it. Special defenses are often embedded in a Culinary Grimorie to ward off anyone looking to steal magic spells.

Medium of Inspiration: An object or book created by an Artistic Witch that is able to channel the power of her mana and allows her to cast spells using her art as a base. Like the Culinary Grimorie, most Mediums hold various creations of the Artistic Witch who owns it and are also protected by several spells, some allow her creations to actually attack and devour the one who is trying to gaze upon her work without her permission. Destroying a Medium of Inspiration is a good way to render an Artistic Witch helpless, but given their ingenuity it's not uncommon for them to have another within their Witch Ball or elsewhere just in case their main one is destroyed.

Hex Casting: a type of secondary form of spell casting that revolves around manipulating certain aspects of reality to give birth to, what mortal beings call, a curse. While traditional witches use the combination of Umbra Magic and concocting various mixtures in a cauldron, others have managed to utilize their Witch Eyes as a portable and, some would say, far more effective medium for Hex Casting. When using the eyes, anyone who is within seeing distance of a witch once she casts her Hex will be inflicted with it's ominous presence and will remain with them until the witch who has placed it upon them decides to lift it. Hex Casting on a witch is often difficult to do when using the older method being the influx of Umbra Mana use during the spell casting is easily pinpointed, even from afar, and the alerted witch can protect herself accordingly from the Hex and may even be able to counter with her own if she wishes. The Hex caster usually has no idea if the witch has been effectively cursed or not without proper observation first. The Witch Eye method is harder to counter as it can be used with less disturbance to Umbra Mana and usually can't be detected by other witches until it's too late. Witches using their eyes can also 'mark' their targets with Umbra Mana which not only makes them targets for other attacks but also allows them to see that their target has been successfully inflicted with the Hex.

Those afflicted with a Hex are infested with misfortune and bad luck and are sometimes driven to madness, and even suicide, from the sheer amount of horrible things that happen to them on a daily basis. 

Magic and Other Abilities

Sorcery, or simply the ability to bring about a supernatural phenomenon that is not native to the mortal line of thinking or rationality. Magic was created by Okuni-Nushi and was then passed down to Aradia who then spread her knowledge to humans on the earth below. The end result not only gave rise to the Witches but also the beginning of the study and practice of magic in the known realms. Although, witches themselves are seen as the originators of many of the magical techniques that exist today, a fair amount of them are actually rediscovered practices that were then recycled by modern day magicians and witches. In the Jigokusekai, Magic is one of the driving forces that exist in that realm, magic being something all demons are born being able to use (much like witches). Humans are the only ones who do not have a natural affinity for learning magic and thus a normal human with no genetic traits that hold magic in their heritage is usually unable to learn and use magic without extensive training.

Mana
- An energy that resides in all living beings with the potential for using magic and sorcery, Mana is the source of all magic, it's presence being what makes magic possible in the world. There exists 15 seperate mana elementals in the known universe, each one pretaining to a different type of magical style and allowing a magician to cast a spell in that elemental category.

Mana Elementals
- Pyro
- Hydro
- Cryo
- Electro
- Geo
- Flora
- Areo
- Toxin
- Photo
- Umbra
- Lunar
- Star
- Solar
- Holy
- Devil

To those born with potential in magic, the mana elementals they shall have is dependent on the parents. The magic the parents have wielded or held in their bodies will determine what the child can use as magic. For those without magic, like most humans, it can be attained several ways. One is through realizing that these elementals occur naturally in the environment all around them, in the air, the soil, and in the water...all of these contain the presence of mana. However, only knowing this isn't going to unlock the doors to magic, one must also find a way to fully harness this presence of the elements to use it in the form of magic. Witches were the first who took note of this and thus were able to master the magical arts before many of the other races were. This was due to the simple reason that their Witch Eye allows them to automatically 'see' the presence of these elementals and thus granting them a handicap for casting the spells they need.

Another requirement is to have what is known as a Mana Pool, which is essentially an internal well of magical energies that produce mana, usually for the means of creation of that certain element (like manifesting water out of thin air). Again, Witches were able to construct their own over the years and thus are the only true masters of creating and maintaining a Mana Pool. Human magicians require much more training and dedication to do this and even then, their bodies might not be ready to construct a 'Mana Pool' to hold the magical energies they will need to cast spells.

Another way to obtain the power of magic is to study under a Witch and copy the technique used to create and open a Witch Eye (at which point, it will be deemed a Spellbinder, rather than a Witch Eye). The human with the Spellbinder is essentially then regarded as a Magician, but as a result are also seen as an enemy of the Holy Order because of their ties with Witches and are classed as 'Witchspawn'. Magicians aren't as powerful as witches so hunting them is easy for the Holy Order, in fact, Magicians are so weak that the hunting of one is considered a training exercise for rookie agents. Obtaining a Spellbinder is regarded as the most difficult route to master magic, this being due to the nature of Witches themselves. A Witch rarely trusts a human with their magic and techniques. As a result, the Uber Witches have made strict rules that often forbid teaching outside humans magic of their creation. Violaters are often ostricized from Witch society and seen as traitors.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: OkashiiKisei on July 13, 2011, 03:33:08 PM
I always enjoy reading about your original universe, Ere, especially anything regarding Witches. Some of these things are very cleverly thought out. I can see you worked hard on it. :)

Regarding those Witch types, is Cinquelle one of those four types, or only an Eld Witch? You did once tell her sister is a Kitchen Witch.

And regarding the elementals, I think Star stands a bit out compared to the other names, since most of them can be pasted onto the term '-mancer' (pyromancer, hydromancer). Starmancer sounds a bit odd. I would personally suggest renaming Star to Cosmo (Cosmomancer), but the choice is entirely up to you.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on July 13, 2011, 04:25:01 PM
I always enjoy rreading about your original universe, Ere, especially anything regarding Witches. Some of these things are very cleverly thought out. I can see you worked hard on it. :)

Regarding those Witch types, is Cinquelle one of those four types, or only an Eld Witch? You did once tell her sister is a Kitchen Witch.

And regarding the elementals, I think Star stands a bit out compared to the other names, since most of them can be pasted onto the term '-mancer' (pyromancer, hydromancer). Starmancer sounds a bit odd. I would personally suggest renaming Star to Cosmo (Cosmomancer), but the choice is entirely up to you.
Thanks, it's actually pretty fun looking through all my older works, finding different written databases and putting things together as I go.

As for Cinquelle's type; She doesn't really have a one, so she's just an Eld-Witch. Secondary types aren't usually decided by family and all that, most witches who have a secondary type (like Cinquelle's sister) usually choose to study as one when they're an Occultess. So it's really a case of 'oh I want to be a kitchen witch, I'll study as one now' kinda deal. Of course, this isn't saying that older witches can't obtain a secondary type any time they wished either. Most just choose not.

I see where you're coming from with the Star bit. I had planned for Star Mana to be the elemental associated with Dimensional/Spacial magic, as well as the cosmos and it's known attributes. Star Mana also functioned as an elemental that bypasses magic resistance. This all being said, 'Cosmo' can be a good replacement for Star considering what it's functions are.

Thanks for the input~

Also...
this means that Mokou won't be running around with hundreds of years old food in her belly.   :barf:
No wonder Mokou's so angry. She's constipated :V

I'm sorry, that was in poor taste.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on July 23, 2011, 09:42:39 PM
Guh.

Writing a story where Ex-Rumia's more or less a walking mass of amorphous, hideous, biological tar (think a shoggoth, but extremely angry and may cause totally not zombies).

I'm not sure if I should make Ex-Rumia a tragic monster or just go for the "IT'S A MINDLESS MONSTER! SHOOT TO KILL!" route.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on July 28, 2011, 09:14:16 AM

I'm not sure if I should make Ex-Rumia a tragic monster or just go for the "IT'S A MINDLESS MONSTER! SHOOT TO KILL!" route.

Well, that depends on who you want your story to focus on. If it's the former, then Ex-Rumia will almost inevitably have to share the limelight, unless you want her to be sympathetic just for kicks. If it's the latter, you probably ought to focus on other characters and how they react to Ex-Rumia.

(Of course, the two options you listed aren't mutually exclusive; for one thing, the tragedy could be that it's a mindless monster >.>)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on August 15, 2011, 01:56:57 PM
I got hit by a dream, and now I want to make it a fanfic. Please tell me what you think about the idea. By the way, the story is an AU fic. 

Hatate is a hired gun infamous for her professional sniping skills. Dr. Alice Margatroid, a scientist in search for the perfect human-robot hybrid, recruits her to neutralize some threats who may just spill the beans on the scientist's unethical methods. These threats include Dir. Gen. Utsuho Reiuji, head of the national peacekeeping force, and the wealthy Koishi Komeiji, a businesswoman who travels incognito.

Hatate assassinates Utsuho under the cover of the ashen grounds of the peacekeepers' headquarters. Although she is detected, she is able to escape with ease and without being recognized.

For the next target, who would be staying in her mansion for a day, Alice provides the sniper with aid, in the form of one of her adopted daughters/test subjects, named Kyoto. Alice gives Hatate a keychain with a peculiar ornament: entwined red ghosts, and Alice instructs her to throw it near the mansion once the mission is complete in order to mask any suspicion that would be found and raised against them.

The only two guards at the mansion are silently killed by Hatate and Kyoto. They split up, scanning the windows on the right and left of the mansion for their target. They find Koishi in the back garden, prancing around like a silly child. Hatate is taken aback by the childish actions of their target but, before she could begin to hesitate in shooting her, is reminded that this was part of the businesswoman's incognito shtick. Two bullets are put through Koishi's head.

As instructed, Hatate throws the keychain, and it lands in the garden. Both she and Kyoto leave, but an unseen assailant begins shooting at them. Kyoto does not leave unscathed, but Hatate is free of injury.

They return to Alice, Hatate receives her payment, and takes her leave. Hatate's conscience begins to act up again, just like all the other times before this, subsequently making her remind herself that playing the good guy will never turn out to be good. That is enough to calm her down.

Now please excuse me while I slap myself for using Koishi too often.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on September 08, 2011, 03:06:45 AM
Take warning, listed below is a complete left turn in regard to AU's. Basically, this is the only setting where I actually reject some canon to make room for my own little mythos on things. You've been warned (I guess).

Seems we got, duh-duh-duuuh, a bit of an AU setting by Erebus, just listen to this;

- Creation of Kaijusokyo -

In the beginning, there were no other beings known to have existed, the only knows thought to have been present at Kaijusokyo's creations were 9 deities known as the Elder Beasts who lived within the boundless void of Munashii, an area of Yakumo Yukari's 'Superdimension' to which is apart of her body. The Dragon God came to the Elders with a proposition to create life in the otherwise barren universe. The Elders agreed to help, as they thought the process of forging new life would be entertaining to them. Breaking off a piece of his flesh, the Dragon God gave form to the world of Kaijusokyo and allowed the Elders to bring forth what life they would unto the world he gave them.

To keep things organized, the tasks were divided up among each Elder Beast, each one given out according to her own unique interests...

- Shinki created the world of Makai, linking it to Kaijusokyo as Hell but would later change this to her own seperate dimension. She gave birth to the Primordial Kaiju and, with the unwanted help of Mima, introduced them to Kaijusokyo would later take form as the starting point in which Kaiju began to root in the world and make it their own. Shinki was originally supposed to be in charge of Jigoku when the Dragon God created it to divide up the after-life, but later this was handed down to Shikieiki and Konngara after it was clear that the goddess was going to continue using Makai as a cradle for her children and the new world she had planned for herself. Shinki is believed to be the mother of all non human races, at least one of her eldest children having had a hand in spawning them in some way.

- Yuuka created all plant life and became the nexus of all natural life in Kaijusokyo. As such, many plant like monsters and beings were born from Yuuka. The Gods of the Harvest; Minoriko and Shizuha came from Yuuka's body; Shizuha coming into existance from a pile of Yuuka's dead leaves and Minoriko from an odd fruit that was growing inside Yuuka. Medicine was also created from Yuuka, the Elder bringing her into life as a means of creating plant life with self defense. Yuuka also planted the first tree in Kaijusokyo, naming it the Giant Tree of Titania as the Fairies took to living in it long ago.

- Suwako shaped the very land itself, forming the mountains, forging continents, and creating the rivers and oceans that would work well with Yuuka's creations of nature. With her work of the land finished, Suwako created a haven for herself at the top of what is presently known as the Snake's Pike. However, Kanako's take over forced her out and into the Marshes of Moriya where she now resides to this day. The Kappa race, as well as other Aquatic Kaiju are believed to have originated from Suwako. Among them was Sanae who was the product of herself and the Slug God who helped her keep Kanako away from her home.

- Kanako created the sky and atmosphere of the world, later she would cut several serpents from her body and the severed snakes would take on an independent life of their own, becoming the first Lamia. Kanako would later appoint herself as their goddess once she took up the dominion of war. She would also come to gain dominion over the human settlements in and around the Great Jungles of Yasaka after the human population in that region began to flourish. However, much to Byakuren's distaste, Kanako has often ordered for humans to sacrifice some of their kin to her as a means of 'payment' for allowing them live prosperously in her shadow and for protecting them from outside Kaiju threats...

- Similar to Shinki, Yukari remained to herself and decided to do work on the Superdimension now that her fellow Elders had left to forge the world fo Kaijusokyo. Interestingly enough, the so called work she has done so far on the alternate universe is widely unknown, even by her fellow Elders. After Byakuren introduced the humans to the land, Yukari took great interest in 'spiriting away' humans to her domain and experimenting with them. This has earned her the dislike of Byakuren...not that it stops Yukari's wills in any way...

- Yuyuko took on the role of Death, bringing forth the first Shinigami that would bring her the souls so she could keep them in Nifelheim as an early way of dealing with the afterlife. The Dragon God, seeing that Yuyuko's ravenous appetite would cause more souls to be devoured than judged, would later construct Jigoku and appoint Shikieiki Yamaxandu as the one to judge the souls of the dead as well as have Sariel govern Takahamagara and have it transformed into a segment of the after life. Yuyuko's domain remained apart of the afterlife but as a 'middle ground' for souls with no 'classification' of being evil or good.

- Sariel created Heaven from her flesh and blood, then brought forth the Angels and Divine Beasts from her feathers. Once Heaven (named Takahamagara) was in place, the Dragon God made it so that her domain was a location in the after-life for those who were pious and could ascend to a higher level. The Celestials were an indirect product of Sariel, the race being born of Angel and Human blood. The consumption of an Angel's flesh would also give rise to a Celestial. Sariel would remain at the center of Heaven until thousands of years later when the Celestials managed to overthrow her from her divine throne, the angel falling into Makai where the Hinanawi Clan sealed her in a ruined temple known as the Fallen Shrine. Many of the Angels fled Takahamagara to retain their loyalty to Sariel. As of now, these same Angels work with the Sariel's new ally, Elis, to help the great angel regain dominion over her heavenly throne. It is believed that her rising again and the coming war between Sariel and the Celestials is one of the events prophecized to bring about the end of days for Kaijusokyo.

- Mima presided over the aspects of evil and darkness, acting as the origin of negative forces that drove many beings to commit malicious deeds. Mima herself was a being fitting to the concept she ruled over, her oldest crimes dating back to the time of creation when she kidnapped several of Shinki's newborn offspring and, using them as a base, created various other creatures and Kaiju with the use of her dark, corruptive energy. The first Vampires, the Oo-Oni and many other monstrous races are said to have came from Mima's experiments with Shinki's children. Angered by Mima's actions, Shinki sent her most powerful spawn to deal with Mima, only one managed to survive the initial invasion of Reimaden, but with it came the birth of the first Exalted Beasts; Mugetsu and Nue by the union of Shinki's spawn and Mima. Rumia is also rumored to be one of Mima's daughters, the Elder Beast spawning the incarnation of 'Advanced Darkness' as a catalyst for the end of the world. It is unknown to this day as to what Mima's true reason(s) for spawning Rumia are...

- Byakuren would be the last to act, bringing forth and guiding the first humans on the path to heightened evolution and enlightenment. Many of the Elders saw this as a bad move as the feeble humans would easily be killed in the largely Kaiju-dominated land. Byakuren, however, assured that she would place herself as their goddess and protect them from the Kaiju if she had to. This devotion to protect humans, would later shift to that of monsters as well, when the weaker Kaiju flocked to Byakuren for protection from much stronger entities that threatened them.

- It is widely unknown if Eirin and Kaguya could be considered Elder Beasts as neither of them have known origins and they are worshipped by the Moon Beasts as deities; Eirin presiding over knowledge and Kaguya having given life to the Moon Beasts. However, it's arguable if Kaguya could be considered the originator of the Moon Beasts, someone would say that the Watatsuki Twins brought forth the Moon Beasts, fathered by one of Shinki's offspring. However, legend states that Eirin and the first of the Watatsukis shaped the moon, so perhaps they had some part in the creation of Kaijusokyo just not in a direct fashion.

More to come later, I guess.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Wolfsbane706 on September 14, 2011, 04:26:27 AM
Lots of brilliant ideas posted here.  I'll see if I can keep up using my own.  For my first foray into Touhou fanfiction writing, I'm trying to stay small, just an ice skating party at Cirno's lake (without the little ice fairy's consent) featuring mainly Marisa and company, plus the Scarlet Devil entourage.  Not sure about a plot yet, but, I'm going with the idea that outside of Cirno, only Remilia and maybe Reimu know how to skate, so that oughta lead somewhere.  Plus, it's Cirno's lake, and they're skating on it without her permission, so there's another approach.  Any questions/comments/observations?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on September 15, 2011, 03:36:37 AM
I got hit by a dream, and now I want to make it a fanfic. Please tell me what you think about the idea. By the way, the story is an AU fic.

Hatate is a hired gun infamous for her professional sniping skills. Dr. Alice Margatroid, a scientist in search for the perfect human-robot hybrid, recruits her to neutralize some threats who may just spill the beans on the scientist's unethical methods. These threats include Dir. Gen. Utsuho Reiuji, head of the national peacekeeping force, and the wealthy Koishi Komeiji, a businesswoman who travels incognito.

Hatate assassinates Utsuho under the cover of the ashen grounds of the peacekeepers' headquarters. Although she is detected, she is able to escape with ease and without being recognized.

For the next target, who would be staying in her mansion for a day, Alice provides the sniper with aid, in the form of one of her adopted daughters/test subjects, named Kyoto. Alice gives Hatate a keychain with a peculiar ornament: entwined red ghosts, and Alice instructs her to throw it near the mansion once the mission is complete in order to mask any suspicion that would be found and raised against them.

The only two guards at the mansion are silently killed by Hatate and Kyoto. They split up, scanning the windows on the right and left of the mansion for their target. They find Koishi in the back garden, prancing around like a silly child. Hatate is taken aback by the childish actions of their target but, before she could begin to hesitate in shooting her, is reminded that this was part of the businesswoman's incognito shtick. Two bullets are put through Koishi's head.

As instructed, Hatate throws the keychain, and it lands in the garden. Both she and Kyoto leave, but an unseen assailant begins shooting at them. Kyoto does not leave unscathed, but Hatate is free of injury.

They return to Alice, Hatate receives her payment, and takes her leave. Hatate's conscience begins to act up again, just like all the other times before this, subsequently making her remind herself that playing the good guy will never turn out to be good. That is enough to calm her down.

Now please excuse me while I slap myself for using Koishi too often.

I like it.

------------

So I am thinking of Touhou cross over, I cant decide for the start of the entwining weather the grail container and her keeper stumble on the Hakurei shrine, or that Sane attracts the Mage associations attention as she is preparing for the move in.

Which is more of a horrible idea?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ivan The Mouse on September 15, 2011, 03:12:18 PM
I have this weird idea of the Human Villagers going Viet Cong against an army from the outside world, since the danmaku is being suppressed by some anti-magic field created on Gensokyo. So, no bullet-shooting lolis, easy catch for the Outside Army.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Drakometar on September 16, 2011, 01:24:29 AM
I have this weird idea of the Human Villagers going Viet Cong against an army from the outside world, since the danmaku is being suppressed by some anti-magic field created on Gensokyo. So, no bullet-shooting lolis, easy catch for the Outside Army.

Oh, I wrote something like that. Sorta. With Cirno as a main and an over the top, nameless OC as the only antagonist...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ivan The Mouse on September 16, 2011, 10:33:19 AM
Oh, I wrote something like that. Sorta. With Cirno as a main and an over the top, nameless OC as the only antagonist...

Oh, man. But yeah, I want to see it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on September 22, 2011, 09:45:52 PM
More on witches and a look at one of the other organizations in my original setting. Note, said things about this organization may change as I find more stuff on it from past comics/writings, or feel like changing them.

Evolution and Biology of the Witch

The Witch, while evolving from humans, has done well in becoming it's own non human species that has far surpassed not only it's parent race, but also most other non-human races as well.. However, one of the bigger mysteries surrounding them is that the lot of them can't easily be classed among the dozens of different races that inhabit the world. One of the more common misconceptions about the average witch is that many believe them to be 'humans exceptionally skilled in magic', which is certainly not true by a long shot. Indeed, a Witch can be seen as 'human' due to their very human appearance, but underneath this facade is something entirely inhuman and, depending on the witch, could be borderline eldritch. This being due to how the Witch shed it's 'human' limitations and evolved into what they are now. Ages ago, during the time of their birth thanks to studying under Aradia, the Witches slowly began to infuse their human bodies with the Mana they were learning to master. This, in turn, caused a lasting evolutionary change that metamorphisized their internal organs and allowed 'Mana Pools' to form within their bodies so they can naturally produce magic just like that of Demons. When these pools formed, they interlocked with the organs of the Witches and enriched them with the magical essence of Mana, slowing down the rate they aged and allowing them to attain a weakened form of immortality and granting their bodies a much higher resilience to disease and injury. During the earlier ages, this was rather weak and a powerful witch could still be killed, however, over the years, they have managed to fortify their resilience to attacks and have now become rather resistant to what a normal human would be crippled in pain from.

Another mistake is how the Witch's evolutionary tree is viewed by outsiders. Many see this as a de-facto 'ranking system' and believe that the Witches use this to further organize on who has the most power and who should lead their society. While, this is true in someways but, in reality, the average witch undergoes alot of biological and phychological changes when she 'evolves' from an Occultess to a Witch. One could easily link this change to a form of 'puberty' for Witches that involves a great number of biological changes that their body must go through to fully mature into a Witch. By this logic, an Occultess is actually the 'larval' form of a Witch, only evolving into the aforementioned when she has managed to open her 'Witch Eye' and, in turn, help her body reach a form of 'maturity' that is viewed by outsiders as them 'ascending' in the ranks. Interestingly enough, an Occultess can remain how she is for however long she wishes, the opening of her Witch Eye only coming into fruition through her own dedication towards controlling her inner Mana energies and allowing her body to use these energies to further change itself into her 'adult' phase.

To further understand just how a Witch functions, one must look at what makes an average Witch non-human. Below are several key factors that seperate a Witch from an average human;

- Longevity: Witches, being a race of magically enhanced beings, naturally have a much longer life span than humans and age very slowly as a result. The way they age is somewhat similar to that of demons, being this depends solely on how much mana they have within their bodies. The mana is what their body uses for life functions and preserves their youthful appearance. For witches like the Ubers and Eld-Witches, they have such a vast wells of mana that the lot of them have aged little since they first evolved eons ago. An average Occultess is born as such and slowly stops aging after she has reached her 30th birthday, by this point, her body would have already gained at least enough Mana to halt the aging process, but not enough to further evolve into a full fledged witch.

- Magical Apititude: Naturally, witches have a high affinity for magic of many kinds, this being due to their very biology having evolved into states that can support and channel such vast amounts of Mana in many different ways and forms. Interestingly enough, the Mana of a witch can be manipulated by the one who holds it, meaning that the mana of a witch is a form of 'jack of all trades' and randomly shifts properties according to what affinity the witch has the most experties in. Many non-human and human races are usually incapable of changing their own Mana affinity, it being assigned to them at birth as opposed to Witches who have mana that transforms to their wills and whims.

- Immortality: Another factor is a witch's resilience and how a single witch can recover and revive from mortal wounds a normal human can die from. This is thanks to the above trait that allows their Mana Pools to act as a natural healing factor if their bodies are ever damaged in anyway. Young witches (or Occultess') have limited control over this and their bodies are only able to recover from minor wounds, thus they can easily be killed. However, after opening their Witch Eye, their Mana Pools become alot more complex and are able to help their body heal from injuries and can even sustain them as undying if they gather enough power.

The reproduction for a Witch is one of the more complicated matters concerning themselves. Warlocks, the male variant of their kind, are very rare among their ranks, this phenomenon occuring after the witches allowed their bodies to be enriched with Mana. As a result of this, some would say that the witches were 'cursed' to be an all female race, rarely giving birth to a male and only bound to bring forth a female. To reproduce, a Witch has two options, one consists of finding a male partner from another race entirely and inter-breeding with them to produce a child. While this usually always results in the child being born a Witch, part of the father's Mana will be transfered to the child allowing them to gain additional power and abilities from his side of the gene pool. Another option lies within creating the child herself through the route of magic. This can be done in a number of ways, but the most common is through creating a familiar inside the womb and allowing it to grow from within. This not only solidifies the 'contract' between witch and familiar through blood ties, but also strengthens the bond between them and ensures that the familiar will inherit great power from their parent witch. This method also solves much of the 'lack of males' issue that has plauged witch society for centuries, being familiars born from Witches have a much higher diversity in gender than being always born females. Some witches even have enough mastery in magic to alter the gender of their familiar before they're even born.


Holy Order of Tengoku

An organization originally established by the Tenjin in Tengoku and soon passed on to the humans whom they saw as worthy of accepting the Goddess of All as their supreme ruler and the one who controls all aspects of the known universe itself. During it's early years of existance, The Holy Order was just as powerful as the government (if not even more so), however being the governments of those times were divided by country, the Order was not and held a uniform power and thus was able to function as a global organization as opposed to being divided by country alone. This balance in power would not last long as disputes between whether the Holy Order should govern the people or their respective leaders should. The constant teeter between them soon gave way to a backlash which resulted in the leaders finally coming together as one whole governmental entity and taking on the Holy Order. The struggle lasted up to several months before the victor was decided and the Worlds' United Federation was born.

Currently, the Holy Order of Tengoku works seperately from the WUF, has to adhere to several policies that they pass onto them in order to remain an independant faction. The Holy Order has recently regained a bit of it's favorability as they are the only ones who seem to be knowledgable in Demon Slaying and various things that deal with dispelling or sealing up powerful demonic entities that breach from the Jigokusekai. Their Headquarters is located in the World's Attic, very close to Heaven's Gate. Only those of Saint rank may dwell here.

- Sub-Factions -

Sisterhood of the Iron Maiden: A sort of special task force specialized in healing, exorcism and the sealing of yashas, witches and other monstrous entities deemed 'unholy' by The Order. The Sisterhood was in fact, founded by a group of White Witches who used their magic and witchcraft to aid the Holy Order. While at first proving to have no true leader, the shrine maiden, Asakari, took the witches under her wing and began teaching them the sealing arts which would later prove to be the driving force behind the Sisterhood's creation and usefulness as well as several other techniques that are widespread throughout the Holy Order.

Although powerful in their own right, the Sisterhood can not act unless given the order by the higher ups in the Holy Order. Some claim that this tight restraint on their actions is due to one of the older members within the high ranks retaining some disdain toward the fact that the Sisterhood are technically descendent from witches, another one of the Holy Order's major enemies throughout history.

Devil-Killer Union: Much like the Sisterhood only more offensive than defensive. Members of this sub-faction act on their own violation and appear to function much like the modern day bounty hunters that work for the World's United Federation. Civilians can hire Devil Killers to protect them from a demonic entity or to seek out demons to exterminate them. Members here aren't usually as compassionate about showing mercy to demons, as they are often taught to kill demons on sight rather than negotiate. For this reason, a Devil Killer is usually seen as a last resort call by humans who have no other way to rid themselves of the demonic presence.

- Notable Members -

- Asakari Yasukawa: A powerful miko (shrine maiden) from the Yasukawa Clan gifted with the sealing arts as well as exorcisim. She was noted for the creation of several Sealing Art techniques that would later come to be passed down to the early workings of the Sisterhood. In her life time she sealed hundreds of Yasha and exorcised even more of them, although her most noted sealings were that of Malachoir, Great Prince of the Jigokusekai and the first Ashura to invade the mortal realm with his 32 legions of demon servants and followers. Even after Asakari's death, her Shikigami, Ralph and Louis, are still around and protect different sites to which hold powerful artifacts Asakari used or created in her life. Ralph watches over the Yasukawa Shrine, while Louis stands gaurd within the depths Asakari's Well, making sure evil hands do not touch the Heaven's Pyramid.


- Teachniques, Weapons and Technology -

- Sealing Arts: A form of martial arts or close combat that centers around embuing one self with Holy Mana and using it as a weapon against evil. Asakari Yasukawa was the original user of this fighting style and would later pass it down to her students, giving birth to an effective secondary weapon to those who have mastered it. Sealing Arts itself is named this because of how the Holy Mana that is used to strengthen oneself acts as a surpressent of the counter-active Devil Mana that's present in most Yasha and monsters, the attacks delivered onto demonic foes can actually weaken them further or seal them, although there has been little to no documented slayings with this style. The only known ones to do this was Asakari herself and this was only if the demon could not be restrained reasonably. Sealing Arts are able to destroy an entity if the mana used cancels out the Devil Mana coursing through their very soul, the end result erasing their existence. Entities killed in this fashion usually have no way of reincarnating.

- Eden Drive: Another technique used only by the Sisterhood. This relies on the Holy Mana of the body and uses it to activate an immensely powerful spell that can have a number of effects unique to that one person using it. The technique got it's name due to the theory that the nature of the spell may be drawn from what that one person sees as Paradise or a place of good will and safety to them.

TheoGear: Holy weapons and tools used by various members of the Holy Order. More often than not, these weapons are the main source of defense against demons as the user doesn't have any expertise in manipulating Holy Mana for usage in the Sealing Arts. Demonslayers are often seen with these and seem to be trained to use Sealing Arts as well, making them much more dangerous than the average Holy Order agent.

Angel Caller: A technique reserved for only those who were gifted with the presence of a Cupine or higher ranked Angels. This acts as a summoning spell that calls their respective Angel or Cupine to their aid in battle or for some other means. This works by use of sending out a signal via Holy Mana to the Angel or Cupine partnered with the agent, the user then creates a path from their location to their partners and brings them through toward them.

Eyes of Dominion: A magical technique only present in those who have witch blood in them. By default, those descendent from witches have the potential to open their witch eye if they apply enough training to it. In this respect, the Eyes of Dominion were created as a 'counter' to the Witch Eyes which would allow agents of the Order to see things such as a Witch ladder and it's pattern, thus granting them access to a Witch Ball. Only those with the Eyes of Dominion can see the acts and magic of a Witch, so individuals with this power are the best weapon against witches. As a result agents with the eyes are labled Witch Hunters.

Heaven's Pyramid: A holy artifact created by Asakari and used as a form of amplifier for her sealing techniques. During the early days of the Order, there were very few ways to seal and contain especially powerful demonic entities such as Raetsu and Ashura class demons. For this reason, Asakari created the Heaven's Pyramid to give birth to a 'last resort'. The pyramid functions by engulfing the victim in a ray of Holy Mana which works to deconstruct their very make up and pull them into an alternate dimension built within the very Pyramid itself. This dimension, known as the Labyrinth of Redemption, is a boundless and maze like space that encrouches demons within its walls until they are let out by it's own with the use of a special code that activates the Pyramid's deactivation switch. As of now, no one knows what this code is...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Wolfsbane706 on September 23, 2011, 07:50:21 AM
Alright, since I'd rather have feedback before outright posting an incomplete story, I'm gonna spoilerize what I have of my latest idea and post it here.  Here goes.

Cirno stretched, groaned, then collapsed and sighed.  ?Too hooooot . . . .? she moaned.  Gensokyou had been hit by a massive heat wave over the past couple days, and despite the little ice fairy?s best efforts, she couldn?t hold it off.  She never did react well to heat, and the rest of ?Team 9? didn?t like the heat much, either.  Rumia wouldn?t come out of her darkness to play, Mystia was too busy running her cart, and Wriggle was off somewhere with Yuuka , leaving poor Cirno alone to suffer in the humid heat of Misty Lake.  Finally, after about five minutes of just lying there, Cirno got up and put her hands on her hips in that ever-defiant pose of hers.  She looked across Misty Lake at the Scarlet Devil Mansion.  Surely they were faring better than her!  At the very least, being inside would be cooler than being outside, right?  Cirno may have been an idiot, but even she knew that houses were usually cooler on the inside.  And so, the little ice fairy collected herself and proceeded to make her way across Misty Lake where, hopefully, a cool house and a sleeping gatekeeper awaited her.
   Sure enough, Meiling was asleep.  Cirno was tempted to wake her up so they could play, but that would just get her caught.  Nope.  The little ice fairy wasn?t stopping at the gates this time.  This time she was plowing right through!
   SMACK!
   Or not.  Cirno wasn?t small enough to fit between the bars on the gate, so instead of flying through them, like she?d wanted, she instead found herself flying into the bars.  Even for someone as hard headed as Cirno, flying into a steel gate headfirst hurt like hell!  Cirno didn?t have time to comprehend the pain, though, so she just flew over the gate (in a particularly drunk-looking fashion) and right up to an open, but curtained, window.
   And, in typical Cirno fashion, right into the head of an unsuspecting, tea-drinking vampire.
   Cirno, still a little dazed from smashing into the front gate, simply went ?Whee!? in a ditzy voice as she and the tea-drinking vampire tumbled across the room.
   The vampire, on the other hand, wasn?t quite so enthusiastic.  Remilia Scarlet was none too pleased to have her afternoon tea interrupted.  Especially by an idiot like Cirno.  Especially by Cirno.

Do you like it so far?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on September 24, 2011, 09:26:38 AM
A series of ideas that will not turn out original flavor at all:

Book One: Reimu notices something wrong with Scarlet Devil Mansion, but can't get any closer as a solar eclipse hits Gensokyo - and vampires begin an all-out assault. As it turns out, SDM has been hijacked by a coalition of vampire clans, united by the House of Tepes. Remilia and Flandre are taken prisoner, to be used in some sort of hideous experiment, Sakuya is left for dead, and Meiling is the bearer of bad news... and needless to say, the Tepes Clan will reap the whirlwind.

Book Two: More expansion into nuclear power plants... uncovers Hidden Fun Stuff. And by Hidden Fun Stuff, we mean demons. Doom-style demons that are overrunning Former Hell and Makai. Gensokyo is pissed. Again. Luckily, the demons are huge, and that means they have huge guts...

Book Three: Strange soldiers have been spotted milling about in the forest, harassing locals and proclaiming to be of some sort of Japanese Empire, waving the Rising Sun high in the air. They use strange rifles, strange armor, strange energy and magic, and whatever they seek in Gensokyo, it's not for humanitarian reasons. Reimu races against the Imperial Japanese Army before they can get their hands on the secrets of Gensokyo. Think of it as Indiana Jones meets Wolfenstein, with plenty of fifties sci-fi and pulp tossed in.

Book Four: Chang'e, the Hourai Victim, breaks out of his restrains on the moon and leads a rebellion against the stagnant, militaristic, and paranoid regime of Tsukiyomi. In his rage, Chang'e sends a subset of his army to enact revenge on one of the descendents of those who threw him into jail - and to take over Gensokyo as a means of resources and a back-up sector in case his rebellion fails. Gensokyo unites (again) and pushes back Chang'e's soldiers, and chase them all the way back to the moon...

I also have ideas that can go in-between (e.g.: stories about hunting big monsters in a dark version of Gensokyo, or dealing with a glut of historically correct, monstrous youkai), but these are the main ideas. Yes, they're part of a series.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on September 27, 2011, 12:45:46 AM
Psionics and Psychonautic Abilities

Psionics, or PSI, is the mental ability that is often mistaken for magic due to it's similar function, only being seperated by it's overall mechanics and origins. Psionics is regarded as a rare anamoly that occurs within the brain, allowing it to precieve (and in most cases, manipulate) various aspects of the elements or simply allowing a person to comprehend and sense what is hidden from normal people (often refered to as a 'sixth sense'). However, this mental anamoly only arises in a select number of humans at birth thus giving them a chance to use and master psychic abilities while they're young and growing up. Others have to learn psionics on their own, usually through training and opening their Mind's Eye to awaken their potential in psionics. Often times, Psionic abilities are mistaken as 'magic' or are believed to have came from Witches, neither of these assumptions are true, however as Psionic abilities do not manipulate the flow of Mana, rather it manipulates the very brain waves the user gives off to create it's own source of 'Mana'. This being said, Psychics are usually distinguishable from other humans by how powerful their brain waves are compared to others. In fact, this is often used as a way to determine if someone has the potential for Psionic abilities or not.

It is unknown as to who the originator of Psionics is, but many texts state that not only has Psionics existed since ancient times but also appears to be a human oriented ability, one that arose in mortal humans, and only humans. There are many arguements, however, that state that humans learned Psionics from the Tsukijin and Tsukihare people who came in contact with Earth through UFO sightings and abductions throughout history. Sources state that both races have a vast understanding and mastery of psyhic powers even without having known humans for an extended period of time so, it may very well be the Tsukijin and Tsukihare who were able to pass on their knowledge to humans which would in turn result in others learning of psionic abilities as well. Because of this interaction, it is believed that Humans maybe the only species outside of Tsukijin and Tsukihare that know how to fully weild Psionics.


Mechanics for Psionics
- As stated above, Psionics is often mistaken for magic due to how similar the two are when it comes down to it's execution and the production of supernatural phenomenon. While it is true that Magic and Psionics due share some similarities in what they can effectively do, these similarities end when one truly realizes how Psionics work and what their power source tends to be.

First and foremost, the entire concept of Psionics is built around using the brain and it's energies to manipulate the world and surroundings around the individual. Magic, in and of itself, functions by manipulating the same thing to a degree but this is seperated by how it is manipulated. With Psionics, the brain is the one and only true power source to their psychonautic prowess. The brain naturally gives off a type of wavelength (called Psyche Wavelength) that is, in many cases, similar to the properties of Mana. This wavelegnth is essentially the blueprint to a person's thought processes and subconcious and is what Telepaths often use as a medium to "read" a person's mind and thoughts. Unlike mana, most of the wavelengths emitted from humans is 'mundane' or has no true property to it, often coming off as 'colorless', while a psychic's wavelength can have many different vibrant colors to it, signifying the many abilities they may have or can learn.

For those who have potential in Psionics, their wavelength is strengthened by supernatural means and can have additional properties which can tell what type of special kinesis they can learn or some other abilities that may be attainable to them. And, for them, learning how to tap into these powers is based on how powerful they are mentally and how their brain can bring out this power through manipulating it's own wavelength. To do this, one must mentally manipulate their own wavelength, which can be done merely by thought and imagination. However, the power itself does not merely arise at the simple thought of bringing it out, to fully weild a psionic power is to understand how it functions and how you as an individual can use it through your own thoughts. For example, to use Pyrokinesis, a person must imagine and visual flames which will, in turn, manipulate their wavelength to produce the flame they have imagined within their thoughts.

However, all of this can only be done through one medium known as the Psyche Eye (or the Psychexus). It is the 'third eye' in which one can see and read the wavelengths of the mind and thus can freely manipulate it by using their own mental powers to produce supernatural occurances and abilities. Much like a Witch Eye or a Spellbinder, the Psychexus is the barrier between what classes the user as human or psychic and, unlike the Spellbinder, is only present in those who have enough power in their own wavelength to open the flood gates of the Psychexus. Once opened, another sense manifests in the users mind (called a 'sixth sense') and it is through this sense that they are able to see wavelengths and auras that is given off by others. However, they cannot see Mana flows and thus cannot manipulate them through their minds. The flow of Mana is something the human mind cannot easily grasp and thus cannot manipulate.

There is a second form to the Pysche Eye known as the Asura Eye (or the Asura Vertex) which requires the user to invert the flow of their wavelength and use it to pour all of their negative energies into their Psyche Eye. The end result will corrupt the eye and could have ill-effects on the users mind, but in turn, also trades this with immeasurable psionic power. So far, only one individual has been able to use the full extent of an Asura Eye, one of Cinquelle's familiar's; Omoisouryou.


Psychonautic Abilities
- Much like Magic, Psionics boasts are fair amount of abilities and techniques that one can learn. However, as stated before, many of them can't be called upon by the same method and usually have a special way of invoking it's power. This said, the level at which the person can manipulate or use this ability is ranked as, Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon, Sigma, Omega. "Alpha" is the weakest level of manipulation while "Omega" is the highest and can be used to fight on equal ground with low level Witches.

Sixth Sense: The base form of psionic abilities and the ability that's often believed to be the building blocks to becoming a Telepath or Mind Reader. In it's unrefined form, a sixth sense is only manifested in the ability to 'see' and sense the wavelengths given off by most forms of life. By training further in this ability, one can not only see and sense wavelengths but also gauge how powerful these wavelengths are, who they belong to and even the thoughts that litter these wavelengths. It is through this ability that one can also see the true form of a Phantom or Ghost even though normal people don't, or can't, see them.

PSI Energy Arts: A form of pyschonautic ability that is considered the basic forms of combat and is mostly used by lower level psychics. By using their wavelength, they can create energy used either in close combat or for ranged combat in the form of psionic blasts of mental energy. While viewed as bare bones and rather low level, the Energy Arts consumes far less energy through their wavelength and thus is far more practical.

Teleportation: A passive ability that grants the user the ability to teleport to a given location embedded within their memory or the immedieate sight of the Psyche Eye. There are many ways to teleport and some may even require the use of a portal to solidify the link between point A and point B.

Psychokinesis: One of the more well known abilities of a psychic, which is the manipulation of various things pretaining to matter, time or space. Many forms of Psychokinesis exist, each one pretaining to a different concept of matter or object which serves as a medium for the psychic to manipulate or (in rarer instances) create and destroy. Through learning a Psychokinetic ability one uses a combination of the Psyche Eye and their wavelength, often times visualizing a form of their medium for manipulation which often results in their wavelength carrying out this mental action. The hook to learning how to master a Psychokinetic ability is that no two abilities have the same psionic evoking, meaning that each one requires a different form of mental visualization to bring forth. Also, the type of Psychokinetic ability a person can wield is often pre-determined the minute they are born, this being manifested in their wavelength.

Approtation: A psychic ability that allows the user to pull forth Psionic Weapons from their mind. These weapons can come in many forms, and no two Apports are similar and vary wildly on the person weilding this ability. Summoning an Apport requires one to visualize and mentally construct the ideal weapon or object and manifesting it into reality through the use of psychic force alone. The weapon is constructed by the user manipulating their wavelength to create the matter needed to build their ideal weapon. Depending on the size and scale of their Apport, it may require more psionic power and energy to craft it. There are three known classes of Apports...

- Id Apportation: The object manifested comes in the form of a weapon of some kind, used primarily for attacking and defense. These types of Apports can have additional abilities attached to them and are viewed as one of the more practical, if not, simpliest forms of Apports.

- Ego Apportation: The object manifested comes in the form of a defensive shield or some other support device used to help protect and heal rather can inflict damage or cause harm to others. These apports are easy summoned from the users desires to protect and, often times, the strength and durability of their Ego Apport is dependent on how strong their will to defend themselves and others are.

- Super-Ego Apportation: A special and rare form of apport that manifests itself as an entirely different being straight from the subconcious of the psychic using the ability. Viewed as the more complex of the Apportations, Superegos tend to be hard to control and more often than not overwhelm the one using it. Only through strict restraint can one weild a Super-Ego Apport with skill.

Anima/Animus Evoking: The psionic ability to summon and create what many would call 'imaginary friends' or beings only psychics and their creators can see. The ability itself is often exhibited in children, but the Anima/Animus itself can only be truly brought into reality through the (usually subconcious) use of the child's latent psionic capabilities (provided they have them). Animas and Animus' are first born within the subconcious and are usually only seen in the person's dreams and imagination (only coming into physical contact with reality through pictures drawn by their creator). This being said, many Anima or Animus can exist in a single person's mind and thus forth many can be brought into reality if this ability is called upon to give their Anima or Animus flesh. Anima refers to a female entity, while Animus refers to a male entity

---

Next up, I'll go into Dream Phasing and the world of dreams. A sub category of Psionics and it's inner workings.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on October 01, 2011, 09:29:33 PM
I am thinking of doing a post-cyberpunk/Space Fantasy/Mecha retelling of Subterranean Animism with Kanako as the AI behind the Moria Group Military Research and Development, The Underground as a slowly dieing former penal colony for those with illegal genetic modifications, The Power of Nuclear Fusion is a Mecha, (expecting a male host..).  The wild hell crows and kasha live off the strange animals that grow from the miniral springs exposed by the couple century old mines.
The Oni are basically boomers from Bubble Gum Crisis, except they like to drink a lot. 
Oh and the Moon is at war with surface.

Likewise Keine, Reimu, Akyu, and the other surface characters are leaders or heirs of various ministries and powerful corporations (zaibatsu) on the surface.

Is this a nuts idea, would anyone want to read this? Anthing strike you as just stupid? Anything almost right?



Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on October 14, 2011, 01:44:10 PM
I am thinking of doing a post-cyberpunk/Space Fantasy/Mecha retelling of Subterranean Animism with Kanako as the AI behind the Moria Group Military Research and Development, The Underground as a slowly dieing former penal colony for those with illegal genetic modifications, The Power of Nuclear Fusion is a Mecha, (expecting a male host..).  The wild hell crows and kasha live off the strange animals that grow from the miniral springs exposed by the couple century old mines.
The Oni are basically boomers from Bubble Gum Crisis, except they like to drink a lot. 
Oh and the Moon is at war with surface.

Likewise Keine, Reimu, Akyu, and the other surface characters are leaders or heirs of various ministries and powerful corporations (zaibatsu) on the surface.

Is this a nuts idea, would anyone want to read this? Anthing strike you as just stupid? Anything almost right?

I would read that. Seems like a strong storyline to me.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on October 23, 2011, 03:51:17 PM
Remember when I said I was going to write on Dreams next? Yeah, I lied.

---

Creation of the Universe

The beginning of the known universe is something that can be tracked back literally trillions upon trillions of years into the past, at least this is what is known for our own universe anyway and the things that exist within it. In anycase, many go so far as to say that the universe began at the hands of the Goddess of All who, as her name suggests, created all things in this universe from her own power over absolute creation. The Goddess brought forth a vast pool of cosmic matter from her own body, and used it to create the stars, the planets and all other things in the known unvierse. Afterward, she created the first beings of life from "Akasha", letting them spread out within the cosmos and evolve upon their own voilation. During this time, the Goddess fell dormant, budding off countless avatars that spanned across space and cemented themselves as gods of those people and beings. Indeed, the one who is worshipped as 'God' on the mortal realm of Earth is only a mere avatar of what some would call the True God. Each of these avatars are directly linked to the Goddess via mentally and all share the same thought as their parent deity. They are but one mass collective of the Goddess' concious, a legion of her thought process given a task to watch over the many beings in the universe and give them guidance.

After the creation of the universe, several other deities came into form through the Goddess' work, all of them being come to be known as 'Elder Gods', or the gods who existed when the universe first began. They are immesurably old, but contain vast amounts of wisdom and knowledge concerning the universe and the concept or element they preside over. Many of these gods and goddess' reside on an otherworldly plane known as the Tengokusekai (or simply Tengoku/Heaven) and serve under the Goddess' avatar who lives at the highest point of Tengoku and is both the ruler of Tengoku and all life on the mortal worlds. The Elder Gods would come to spawn forth lesser gods that would take up other concepts and elements of the universe and would work to shape the mortal realm.

Below the known universe (known as the 'mortal universe') is where the Jigokusekai came into being, a world where the Goddess placed all of the dark energy that was dispersed upon the creation of the universe. This dark energy would soon become Devil Mana and would help in sparking the first forms of demonic life within the Jigokusekai and allowing it to evolve even further on. The Jigokusekai has no true supreme god, unlike the others.

On the nethermost reaches of the universe exists the Yomisekai (or Yomi no Kuni), a cavernous universe that was the 'trash bin' of the universe, the realm in which the 'old universe' was cast into and added to it's mass to create it. Indeed, this would only mean that the Yomisekai is in truth several dozen old universes that were 'scrapped' by the Goddess and the one in which we live in today is the 'new' universe created by her from a 'failed' or 'flawed' one that existed before. The Goddess of Death, Yomihime, resides in this realm and rules over the dead and the Yomijin.

Lower still, at the very bottom of our universe, is the Keigokusekai (or Keigoku) a world of hellish torture, punishment and where all damned souls go after they are judged in Diyu within Yomi. Keigoku was infact a section of the Jigokusekai that was so chaotic and lawless, the Goddess seperated it from it's parent universe and placed it underneath the Yomi no Kuni, where it now sits to this very day. The ruler of Keigoku is Oo-Enma, the warden of this infernal prison and the one who keeps all condemned prisoners in check and in chains.

- Truth of beyond our universe -

Due to how far back within the distant past the birth of the universe is, no mortal entity can comprehend the true means in which the universe came into being. While it is true that all things were created by the Goddess and with her work of Akasha, however, what isn't readily known is what lies beyond our known universe, beyond the realm of the Goddess. There have been many theories stating on what exists beyond our universe and if there is any form of existance, then who or what resides there. In truth, where our universe ends...another one begins. Indeed, beyond our known cosmos there exists a neighboring universe, that very same universe having it's own 'Goddess of All' that created all things within it. However, the number of universes don't exactly stop at just that adjacent one...there are many different cosmic realms neighboring our own, each one having a different set up but all having on Goddess/God of All that created it. Beyond all of these univereses exist one immense sea of cosmic energies beyond mortal understanding, this being the sea in which even the Goddess' and Gods are born from, this 'sea' called the "Gigabyss of Birth". Upon the birth of a new Goddess/God, a piece of the abyss is sealed within the body of the newly created entity to which they bring this out in the form of 'Akasha' once the creation of their universe begins.

This sea and everything beyond it is all swirling within endlessly within the 'Golden Womb' the inside of an even greater being that was responsible for not only the creation of the sea of birth and the goddess'/gods of all...but all of reality itself. To this day no one knows of this being's existance or the name of which it is called (or if it even has one). We are blissfully unaware of the truly expansive universe in which we live, blind to the fact that beyond the being we consider an absolute being...there exists one many times greater and immeasurably more powerful in the beyond...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: theshirn on October 27, 2011, 12:49:19 AM
OKAY HERE'S THE PLAN, or, theshim's NaNoWriMo project, ideally.

The premise, in short, is taking a medieval-age world, with nobles and peasants and holy wars and the other bajillon things the age entails, and dropping magic on it.  This is an utterly massive undertaking, as it requires full world-building in advance and then taking everything and deciding how the advent of magic affects it all.  In many areas, warlords develop who claim the right to territory with their magic backing them up.  However, this is far, far too massive and impossible to handle within the confines of NaNoWriMo, so I'm aiming for a very small piece of the proverbial pie. 

The story is going to focus on one character, a blacksmith's apprentice named Derrick Talen.  As the story dawns, he is cut loose by his master, who declares him unfit for the business.  Derrick goes drinking, is nearly run over by a cart and killed, and is saved only by the sudden awakening of his magical talent, which he unconsciously draws upon to give him a burst of speed to duck out of the way of the cart.  Derrick, along with a lifelong friend, begin to try to puzzle out this new mysterious power - what it is, and how it works.  In the meantime, cut off from income, Derrick takes to stealing to eat, and due to a misunderstanding begins to develop his powers to aid him, developing spells for concealment, trickery, illusion and enchantment.  Derrick's rise to power brings him into conflict with the local guild of thieves, while the nobility begins to crack down on thievery after some high-profile thefts, and it becomes a struggle to remain secret while developing his powers and gaining notoriety.  At the same time, his newfound wealth brings him into the social circles of the elite, even as disturbing rumors begin to circulate from around the world.  Worst of all, it turns out Derrick isn't the only mage in town, and soon the capital city faces treachery and destruction from all sides - and Derrick may end up being the only thing standing between the world and ruin.

That's just book one of a much larger project.  It's going to be a mostly over-the-shoulder third person perspective - from Derrick's viewpoint, but not in first person, which I find restrictive.  I'm planning on setting up most of the major characters and villains for at least the next book in this one, though as of now the tentative thought process is "Book One: The City", "Book Two: The Continent", and "Book Three: Existence".  Book One - this project - will be Derrick's and mostly Derrick's alone (I'm going to have to curb that instinct of making every single character I introduce into a main character), Book Two will expand to cover the larger threat of the warlords and outright anarchy, with Derrick as part of a larger group, and Book Three will cover discoveries of the true nature of magic and their world, and the subsequent struggle to prevent the many ways the world can go to hell.

These are dependent on the nature of magic, something which I subscribe to the Sanderson school of thought - magic should be well thought out and internally consistent.  This world, such as it is, will use a brand I'll refer to as Soulmagic.

IN THE BEGINNING (because if I'm going to figure out how this works, I may as well go all the way back) there was the All-Father.  The All-Father created children, those the world would call gods.  The gods created the world, but were divided as to how to create it.  Some wanted to create only simple creatures.  Others, creatures of choice and power that would nearly rival themselves.  Debates ranged long and loud (if such a term can be applied) before a consensus was reached.  The world would be created, and given to humans, but the humans would have to prove themselves worthy before being granted greater gifts.  The decision was reached that the test would be numbers; if humans could develop far enough that they could conquer disease through innovation and war through diplomacy, the gods would grant them magic, that they would continue to ascend.  So thought the gods of good.  But the All-Father created his children in balance, and there were gods of wickedness and evil as well.  They saw that the advent of magic would prove a chaotic time, a time when the mettle of humanity would be tested and many would succumb to baser desires, and so they too supported this plan.

To enact the plan, the gods created the Vault of Souls.  Protected by a divine spiritual barrier, the Vault would contain all the essence of life that would become people - all the souls of man, in a form of nearly pure energy.  The Vault was created to allow the souls to be released for birth, and returned upon death.  Built into the barrier was the contingency - when a billion humans would finally exist together, the Vault would begin to degrade, ever so slightly, in carefully measured steps.  This would not release the souls - indeed, the souls, in their pure form, would not leave the Vault on their own even if they could - but it would make the spiritual barrier of the Vault permeable, in the slightest of amounts.  Thus, those humans with the ability to draw upon magic - a genetic ability that until this point was meaningless - would be able, through force of will and study, to draw out power from the Vault of Souls and use it as magic.

However, knowledge of the creation has long been lost to mankind.  The gods themselves took no part in the world after the creation and finalization of the Vault of Souls, and the tale, though imparted to the first humans, quickly faded into obscurity, myth, and eventually nothingness.  The religions that have arisen are corruptions of the gods, or complete inventions by mankind, and the knowledge of the Vault is unknown.  Magic itself is reserved for fairy tales, ghost stories, and the occasional charlatan or con man.  In short: magic is literally unknown, and Derrick is one of the very first to suddenly be gifted with a power he doesn't comprehend or understand.  These books are going to be as much sociological as they are high fantasy - it's the story of a man and a world where all the rules suddenly change overnight.

A few other assorted notes I've got kicking around in my head:
- The formation of a Magekiller ground, basically a SpecOps division of magically talented people formed by the kingdom to keep it safe.  Becomes increasingly important as stories go on.  Derrick may find himself recruited at some point.
- Generally, souls within the Vault are purified and returned to their original forms.  A strong-willed person may leave an imprint on his soul.  Powerful enough, and it may give the soul some degree of awareness, even within the Vault.  Such a soul, if drawn out by magic, may be able to possess the caster briefly, or otherwise affect the magic used.
- Magic draws upon the energy that becomes souls.  Given the state of the barrier, this usually means only a fraction of the soul's strength is drawn through.  A vile brand of magic may draw instead upon souls already incarnated, ripping them from the bodies of others.  This bypasses the barrier and provides a comparatively massive amount of energy, though the magic used to accomplish this depends heavily on the will of both the caster and the target.  It is also evil beyond belief, and marks the user with a terrible curse, but some may consider the wrath of the gods a price worth paying.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nintendonut888 on November 06, 2011, 04:38:55 PM
What is this?

---

This is a story of the past, a story of my own. It is something I hold close to my heart. I was too afraid to share this story because I knew it was self-serving and made in a way that only I could enjoy. But now, a year later, I fear I may begin to forget this story I poured my heart and soul into. That is why I now write this outline. How detailed I will get will depend on the story, but note that this is only an outline; Above all else, I simply don?t have the endurance to write a story this long. Still, I want to share this, if only with a few people. Now, behold the story that never made the transition from ink to paper, mind to computer.

The beginning

The story begins with, well, me. I am my own main character. This is the part that you just kind of have to accept if you want to read my story: This is a self-insert story, and yes, a lot of it revolves around me. I?m often not the character of focus, especially later on, but the majority of the story is told from my perspective. We got that out of the way? Okay.

Well, as most inserts go, in reality Donut (I dislike seeing my real name in print, so I?ll call him Donut) isn?t really much like me at all. He is impulsive, emotional, and much more bold than myself. Certainly no ideal figure, but whatever. His past is also quite different, but we?ll get to that later.

Donut is about twenty three at the beginning of the story. He has a minimalistic sense of dress, trying to blend into society, trying to fade away?  He has been drifting through society for the past seven years, refusing any close contacts. Several years ago he made his way to Japan, and is now more or less fluent in the language (acceptable break from reality, I realize I?m tripping all sorts of self-insert flags already, but I think I can be granted this one). Since he never sticks in one spot for long, he is poor and often lives the ?outside life.?

Anyway, Donut?s aimless wandering through life brings him to a late autumn day, 2007. He?s currently residing in Kyoto, a city known for its spirituality and tranquility.

Maybe I?ll find some beauty in this place?
   
Donut has always looked for a place he feel he can find feeling in again. Since his daaaark and depreeeeeessing past, he hasn?t ever found it. Well, he certainly doesn?t have the budget to leave Japan for a while yet, so he may as well relax.

After about a month in this city though, it seems it wasn?t doing it for Donut either. Even as he flew to the tops of shrines and overlooked the prestine metropolis, Donut couldn?t feel like he belonged here. He never felt he belonged in this world (don?t we all though?). He sighed and decided he would leave for the country tomorrow, but first he needed a place to rest. Taking to the air, he eventually found a decrepit old shrine hidden just outside the city in some hills. As he touched down, he found some shrine offerings, meaning he had dinner that night!

Donut holed himself up into the shrine and stretched to take a nap. He knew it was sacrilegious and at the very least disrespectful, but hey, this is the life he chose.

I do hope that nothing finds me here?

---

Donut wakes up in the middle of the night. He?s never been one for sleep, so he stretches and decides to look around his newest home. It was a new moon though, so even with his eyes (which he was always proud of), he couldn?t really take in the scenery. Still though?when he concentrated, he felt like something was there. He couldn?t quite place his finger on it?it was like something was keeping him there, but at the same time was keeping him out. It sent a tingling feeling through his fingers. He tried to ignore it as a normal tingling feeling, but as the minutes and even hours wore on, Donut found himself entirely preoccupied with this feeling. He reached out into air, feeling as though there was something to grasp.

?What am I doing. This is stupid??

Donut turned to go back to the shrine to rest ? morning was only a few hours away ? But upon turning back to the shrine he felt the feeling surging. Once he noticed it, he couldn?t turn away. This feeling?it felt like something was here. Some?boundary. He felt the structure of the shrine and felt it even stronger. What was this? Why?

He grit his teeth and held his hand out. He would like to say he was never a spiritual person, but after what he?s experienced he couldn?t really deny there was supernaturalness in the world. And if this was one of those things?

He had to find it!

?There!? He finally grasped it. What ?it? was he wasn?t sure, but he felt it; this presence was now in his hands. Not willing to let it get away, Donut held on tight. It did not struggle. In fact, now that he grasped it, it seemed willing to part. Holding back his exhaustion, he brought his other hand to the force and pulled. Even though he was doing something utterly ridiculous all this time, he recoiled in shock when he realized a hole had just been opened. Beyond this hole in the air a swirling purple mass lay. Donut shivered, but he felt?like he needed to see what was through here. It?s not like he had much to live for anyway. Taking one last look at the world behind him, he hopped through the hole he opened in reality.

Meanwhile, a woman awoke from her slumber. She felt it; something had been disturbed in the barrier. She couldn?t just leave it alone, so she dressed herself and set out to take a look?


First encounter

This is the only arc that was written retroactively, by the way. It is loosely based on my initial experience, where my goal was to beat every extra boss available at the time (excluding Suwako). So, sorry if this is extra sketchy. I swear it gets more coherent later on Anyway, ahem?

---

Almost as soon as he did it, Donut regretted his decision to go through that gap.

I?m falling?

He couldn?t tell up from down, left from right. The swirling purple mass was driving him mad. He thought he couldn?t take it anymore, when ?

It suddenly ended. Suddenly, the horrific mass was gone, and Donut regained his composure.

?But, where am I???

He had a feeling he wasn?t in Kyoto anymore (Toto). The shrine was nowhere in sight. Instead there were?

Clear blue skies?

Rolling green hills?

Beautiful trees who shed their brilliantly colored leaves onto the ground.

It was breathtaking for Donut. He certainly had seen this kind of scenery before, but never before did it all feel so?tranquil. He began walking around in awe, forgetting his confusion. In the distance, he thought he saw a village. What could be there, he wondered?

Amid his lost thoughts, a young girl trotted up to him.

?Heya!? Donut turned around.

?Oh, uh, hello.? Awkward silence. The girl had red hair ? and not the kind you normally see. She was wearing a green shirt and yellow shorts. She was holding a baton too for some reason? Odd fashion sense?but then again he?s not one to talk. Finally the girl broke the silence.

?So, what?cha doin???

?Aah? Umm, I..seem to have gotten lost.? Donut didn?t notice, but at those words a small smile crept onto the girls? lips.

?Oh? It?s not easy getting lost in Gensokyo.? The little girl giggled.

?Yeah, I, well, it?s kinda hard to explain. I fell, and suddenly I was here. I was at a shrine before, you see?? Another flicker across the girl?s eyes.

?Ah hah, I see. Then you must be new, human. In that case, welcome to Gensokyo!? She threw up her arms like it was a surprise party. Donut couldn?t exactly say it wasn?t appropriate.

?Gensokyo?? Geez, I really aren?t in Kyoto anymore? Uuh, it?s a very pretty place, isn?t it?? He felt his face grow red, sounding like a child.

The red-haired girl nodded with a grin on her face. ?I?m Orange. I?ll be your guide through this land!? ?Orange?? Well, whatever. Donut was just glad to finally have a guide.

?Thank goodness. So, what is this place? How do I get back?? They began walking together.

?Well, this is a land for youkai. You probably know them as evil spirits, but that?s such a slanderous name.?

Actually I didn?t know? Somehow Donut felt like he could easily go along with this.

?So, erm, this Gensokyo, it has humans too, right??

?That?s right. You can see that village from here, can?t you? That?s where most of the humans live.?

?Huh?? He felt compelled to keep walking with this girl.

After some small talk, the two approached an uphill.

?So, Orange was it? What are these youkai? You make them so other-worldly.? At this, Orange burst out laughing.

?Other-worldly? Human, you are in another world! Gensokyo is not part of your reality! I don?t know how you fell in here, but you gotta learn fast if you wanna survive here.? Donut felt somewhat insulted all of a sudden and got a sullen expression on his face.

?Alright, fine then. This Gensokyo?s not my world, I can even almost believe that because I fell through a portal. But, back to what I said before-?

?About youkai?? Suddenly the girl?s tone changed. She began twirling her baton through her fingers nonchalantly.

?Well, there?s a certain rule here in Gensokyo. If you are a youkai, you get to live a life of fun and excitement. Almost nothing can challenge you, much less the humans.?

Donut blinked, and kept silent.

?The humans, on the other hand, live in that village in fear. Most of them don?t stand a chance against a youkai, and fight back whenever they do.?

?Erm, why. Youkai are just evil spirits, aren?t they??

Orange pouted. ?Didn?t I tell you that was a bad name for us? Come on, pay attention!?

Donut stammered.

I should probably not upset the girl who?s my guide?

?Sorry, I?m sorry, okay? So um, why are the youkai and humans always fighting? Is there some civil war? This place is too pretty to be war-torn?? Orange giggled softly.

?Well, let?s leave it at that. You don?t need to know everything.? Orange ran ahead to the top of the hill.

?W-wait! Where should I go?? Donut reached his hand out.

?To the village, dummy! Oh, but if you want to leave this land, you should head to the shrine you were talking about. It?s not far from here, I reckon.?

Leave. Leave this place? Donut wouldn?t dream of it. This place, even though he just got here, it felt so?different from everywhere he had been up until now. For the first time, he wanted to explore, get to know a place. This?land of youkai and humans.

?A-alright, so the village. I think I can get there, so I guess this is where we part ways. See ya Orange, and than-?

?Oh, leaving so soon??

?Eeh?? Donut looked back to the top of the hill. Orange was facing away from him, twirling her baton from finger to finger.

?Hee hee, you really aren?t the brightest person, are you human? You really think you can just leave here like that?

For the first time, Donut picked up on how she referred to him. He thought it was just because he never introduced himself.

?U-um, sorry. It?s a bit late, but my name?s Donut. I?m sorry for not introducing myself sooner.? He bowed, but the height difference made it look ridiculous.

An awkward silence. Crap, did he screw up again? He never was very good with people.

?Then, Donut, I will tell you one last thing. Youkai desire humans. They are a delicacy, you could say.?

She turned around, an innocent smile on her face.

?O-oh? Is that so??? Donut?s eyes widened and he slowly started backing away.

?Sometimes we can get along, but, you know, sometimes we get hungry??

She continued to twirl the baton from hand to hand.

Donut gulped as he finally began understanding his position.

?S-so, Orange. About that shrine you were talking ab-?

?I think the time for questions is over human. It looks like you?re going to die here. What a pity; it was kind of fun. Now, hold still??

Orange tossed the baton into the air and jumped. To Donut?s shock, she did not come down. Floating in mid-air, she caught the spinning baton and thrust it in Donut?s direction. Donut began breathing heavily.

Shoot, it?s not just me? Then I?m not alone in ? w-wait, what am I thinking?! This was no time to be happy.

Donut turned around and began running down the hill. He didn?t even reach the foot before a cluster of balls hit the ground in front of him, stopping him cold.

?Wha-wha is this?!? Donut lifted his head to see Orange right above him. Out of her baton rained down more bullets. Donut didn?t know what the deal was, but he was not intent on finding out what happened if those hit him. He ducked the bullets; good thing he was so good at dodgeball back in school.

Another barrage of bullets rained down upon him, this time coming at an arc. Donut went with his gut and dived to his left. Bad move; he was still on the hill. Even so, his instinct paid off and the bullets seared into the grass around him. Clumsily getting to his feet, Donut tried to plan an escape.

?Geez, I told you to stand still! Don?t make this harder than it is!? Donut couldn?t believe it; Orange wasn?t taking him seriously at all. Is this just a game to her?!

Then more bullets came, this time much more focused around him. Donut judged from the formation that he wouldn?t be able to turn back, and left or right was out of the question. He took a step forward, when he saw that was cut off too ? it was a complete circle around him. She must be trapping him so she can finish him off.

Donut gritted his teeth. He wasn?t going to let it end like this, not when he just found someplace interesting!

Then, I gotta take the only way out. And it?s THERE! Donut bolted down the hill.

?Ha ha, you fool!? Orange concentrated more bullets to the front, and reared into a diving position. Donut saw the bullets raining down in front of him, but he wasn?t concerned with those. He balled his fists and began concentrating.

Remember how it was that one time?remember how it felt!

Just a few meters from the bullets. Orange dived.

?It?s over human!?

?Yes, over YOU!? Donut leapt into the air. Orange stopped herself before she crashed into the ground and gaped in disbelief.

?Wh-what-!?

Donut flew above her. He was a bit unsteady, but he held himself in the air well enough. Spinning his body around, he positioned himself above Orange with his arms folded. He did not look happy.

?H-human, you?I thought you were from the outside world! This isn?t possible, you can?t fly!?

?You said it yourself Orange; you got to learn fast in Gensokyo.?

Orange puffed her cheeks and flew up to his level. It looks like this was just the beginning.

What followed was a protracted dance. Donut did his best to dodge Orange?s assault. It was intimidating, but even as clumsy as he was in the air he could avoid them well enough. The problem was he couldn?t do the same. He was trying to figure it out in between dodges, but he couldn?t even comprehend what she was firing.

Finally, Donut?s luck ran out. Getting his left turn mixed up with his right, Donut got a line of bullets straight to the ribs.

?A-aah!? Pain. This?hurt. It seems it wasn?t lethal, but he felt weaker.

This isn?t good?I gotta get away.

That was out of the question though as long as Orange was still after him. Donut panted in exhaustion; he was already running out of energy. Damn it, he has to end this quickly!

Alright, come on. We can do this. She does it like it?s no thing, so concentrate! Think with your hands?!

Donut flew up high to avoid the next wave of Orange?s straight-line assault. He tensed up his hands. They began quivering. As hard as he tried, all he succeeded in doing was cramping up his wrists.

?Grr, this isn?t working?maybe if I think with my head instead??

Orange sneered. ?Come on, is running all you can do? And here I thought you?d put up a fight.? She gripped her baton with both hands; she seemed to be charging up.

Donut snarled. He couldn?t take this condescending attitude anymore! Donut concentrated as hard as he could. He felt this energy coursing through him that let him float in the air?the energy that kept him alive. The energy that drove him to continue living!

Donut wasn?t entirely sure what he did, but he tapped into it. He held out his hands and pushed forward with a shout. A barrage of bullets erupted from his hands at lightning speed. Orange stopped what she was doing and opened her eyes wide.

?H-hey, what ? AAH!? Orange did not react quick enough, and was caught by the barrage.

 What Donut was firing was all white; it was more like a bunch of lights than the shaped bullets Orange fired. Still, Donut was not one to complain. He put everything he had into it.

*pant*

*pant*

*pant*




He couldn?t do it any more. His head felt light, and he began drooping down to the ground. Before he touched down though, Orange outright fell, sputtering and coughing. Did he really do that much?

?By your leave?!? Donut gasped this out and began running. He didn?t know where he was going; he just ran.

---

So, yeah. This is a self-insert story I created over a period of two and a half years. Because it was a self-insert story, and because I have no work-ethic when it comes to writing, I never put it into written form. But now, I feel like I need to get it all down, eventually. So, here you are. No proof-reading, no formatting, no second drafts; this is what I want to write. What do you all think?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on December 11, 2011, 06:17:58 PM
A small tidbit on Demons, mostly on the types of demons and how it effects their ability to grow stronger.

Types of Demons

- Although most do not seem to have one, there are some demons that can be grouped in a certain type of other demons that all share the same characteristics and instincts. There are a total of 7 different types that a demon can be grouped within, each one pretaining to a different impulse that gives them strength and is the soul driving force that allows them to produce Devil Mana and grow stronger. By following this impulse, a demon of that type can grow very quickly in terms of Devil Mana and evolve into a Raetsu in no time. It is believed that which ever sinful impulse is strongest in a human when he/she transmogrifies into a Yaminingen determines what class of demon they will fall under once they fully reach Yasha status. This, in turn, has some determining in what species of demon they might become.

- Gekido: A class that revolves around the impulse of violence, anger and hatred. Demons of this type are usually very dangerous and are physically the most powerful of all demons. Gekido type demons hold little to no magical prowess, but gain an immense surplus of Devil Mana when they kill those that anger them or those that they hate. Powerful Gekido types gain the additional ability to directly influence their attacks and strength from how angry they are or how much they hate an individual. There are also tales of Gekido types having the ability to enter madness when they are near death from mortal injuries.

- Yoku: A demon type who's primary impulse centers around avarice and the need to have all things within their grasp. Demons of this type usually are drawn to the prospect of wealth and money, but are not restrained to those things as some may even be vast collectors of differing objects such as rare furniture or toys. Yoku demons gain Devil Mana depending on how much wealth they gain, the more valuable or value they gain, the more Devil Mana it equals to them. Powerful Yoku types gain the additional ability to gain an increase in mana for every 'rich' demon who submits to them and becomes their servant/partner/lover, etc.

- Shitto: A demon type that has it's origins rooted to jealousy. Demons of this type are usually mistaken for Gekido types as their disposition is often times bitter or cold toward others. Shitto type demons are often viewed as the weakest type as, when untrained, have little aptitude for any sort of combat. However, this changes dramatically when one realizes that Shitto demons are actually skilled in just about any sort of fighting. Shitto demons gain more Devil Mana depending on how envious they are towards others. Powerful Shitto types can directly influence the flow of Jealousy, planting envious thoughts in those who would normally never have them.

- Nikoyoku: The most infamous type among demons, finding it's roots in the impulse of lust, desire and over all pleasures. They retain a somewhat whimsical nature and hold a fair capacity for magic. Most Nikoyoku types gain Devil Mana through sexual intercourse, some even pretain the ability to draw in mana during sex and covert it into Devil Mana. However, others can gain Devil Mana by simply indulging in various pleasures, their most favoured being the one that will grant them the higher quantity of Devil Mana upon partaking in desires. Nikoyoku types can afflict 'addictions' on others by merely a gaze of their eyes or physical contact if they are powerful enough, the type of 'addiction' is dependent on the demon who is administering the effect.
 
- Boushokou: Demons who have an unsurmountable appetite and the need to eat excessively. Going hand in hand with Taida types, Boushokou type demons find strength in eating and produce their own devil mana once they digest their usually immense meals. Boushokou demons have strength that's on par with Gekido Demons but are slower than the demons of wrath often times due to their own prodigious girth. An especially powerful Boushoku type can can instill gluttony on others simply by overwhelming the weaker demon in their presence of mana.

- Taida: Demons hampered by laziness and the urge to sleep and loaf about. Demons of this type tend to be rather slow, but have a have excellent endurance and are able to regenerate wounds much quicker if they simply 'sleep it off'. Taida type demons draw in a much larger quantity of Devil Mana when they are asleep and through dreams. Some may also gain mana by putting others to sleep through their natural miasma that promotes laziness and slumber and siphoning off their mana. An especially powerful Taida type can inflict slumber on weaker demons by sending a hypnotic wave to that over powers their overall functions and shuts them down putting them in, what many believe, is a coma.

- Hokori: A type of demon who has the biggest ego of any other, and one who holds themselves in higher regard than any other as well. Hokori types tend to be fairly charismatic among demons, and uphold a notion that they are above all others and reflect this notion through their mannerisms. Most Hokori types are also infamous for being 'dicks'. Hokori demons absorb Devil Mana from those who 'submit' to them in servitude or acknowledge them as powerful demons or threats. An especially powerful Hokori type can intimidate or dominate weaker demons by merely glaring at them.


Death of a Demon

- Demons are not immune to the inevitable touch of death. As it stands, a demon has a much longer lifespan than a normal mortal could ever hope to achieve, an average Yasha having a life span of 1,000 years, while Raetsu on higher seem to have a life span that stretches on indefinately. How long a demon lives is determined by how he/she handles the Devil Mana in their body. After a certain amount of time, a Demon's aged body will lose it's ability to sustain a steady supply of Devil Mana, and once their wells of mana dry up, a Demon dies of, what is considered in the Jigokusekai as, natural causes.

If a demon is killed by outside or malicious forces as opposed to natural ones, then the mana is prematurely dispersed into the surrounding environment and lingers for exactly one day, after which it completely infuses with the surrounding wilderness. To the demon who may have killed this victim, this is the point at which they are able to absorb the dispersed mana from their victims bodies and make them selves stronger. This can still be done of the living demon did not kill the other and merely 'discovered' the corpse, provided it's fresh and not one day old.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on December 15, 2011, 10:58:53 AM
Revision of the above creation myth. Giving more insight on the actual structure of the universe as well as a brief over of the others.

-

The beginning of the known universe is something that can be tracked back literally trillions upon trillions of years into the past, at least this is what is known for our own universe anyway and the things that exist within it. In any case, many go so far as to say that the universe began at the hands of the Goddess of All who, as her name suggests, created all things in this universe from her own power over absolute creation. The Goddess brought forth a vast pool of cosmic matter from her own body, and used it to create the stars, the planets and all other things in the known universe. Afterward, she created the first beings from "Akasha", these entities came to be known as 'Elder Gods'. As their name suggests, Elder Gods are immeasurably old, having being the first entities to spawn from the Goddess, however their powers are absolute and their wisdom is boundless, being far beyond the average comprehension of any mortal. With the creation of the universe and it's driving forces in place, the Goddess fell dormant, budding off countless avatars that spanned across space and cemented themselves as gods of those people and beings. Indeed, the one who is worshiped as 'God' on the mortal realm of Earth is only a mere avatar of what some would call the True God. Each of these avatars are directly linked to the Goddess via mentally and all share the same thought as their parent deity. They are but one mass collective of the Goddess' conscious, a legion of her thought process given a task to watch over the many beings in the universe and give them guidance.

Many of these gods and goddess' reside in the upper levels of an otherworldly plane known as the Tengokusekai (or simply Tengoku/Heaven) and serve under the Goddess' main avatar the Elder God of the Holy. Tengokusekai, while being the original abode of the gods, is still connected to the mortal worlds that carry a pantheon of it's own, the "heaven" from each of these world having their own structure up until they ultimately merge into the True Heaven that exists above the mortal universe. Within the realm of the gods there exists the Celestial Enclosures where the deities live and meet with one another, watching mortals from on high. These enclosures are divided into three sections, the Heavenly Acropolis, Supreme Palace, and the Forbidden Sanctum. The area in which the Goddess of All can be found is located within the Empyradise, an area that surpasses physical existence and is beyond the Supreme Palace Enclosure.

The middle ground of the universe, is known as the mortal universe and is the area in which humans and most cosmic aliens reside. The mortal universe is always changing and expanding, the flow of Mana and the way they react when they come in contact with each other being one of the reasons why it changes so often. The mortal universe also has a periodic 'restart' point in which the Goddess of All collapses the original mortal universe and rebuilds it. This is due to the very expansion that the universe is subjected to. Universes that are 'shut down' are tossed into the 'Yomisekai' where they add to the previous universe to it's mass and expands the Yomisekai's overall area and size.

Below the known universe (known as the 'mortal universe') is where the Jigokusekai came into being, a world where the Goddess placed all of the dark energy that was dispersed upon the creation of the universe. This dark energy would soon become Devil Mana and would help in sparking the first forms of demonic life within the Jigokusekai and allowing it to evolve even further on. The Jigokusekai has no true supreme god, most of the demons who reside here having established a very simple way to rule one another through a hierarchy that bases everything on power. Demons, govern themselves through the use of this hierarchy, with more powerful demons controlling multiple 'Circles' (the equivalent of 'planets' in the mortal universe).

On the nethermost reaches of the universe, below both the mortal universe and the demon world, exists the Yomisekai (or Yomi no Kuni), a cavernous alternate realm that was the 'trash bin' of the universe, the realm in which the 'old universe' was cast into and added to it's mass to create it. Indeed, this would only mean that the Yomisekai is in truth several dozen old universes that were 'scrapped' by the Goddess and the one in which we live in today is the 'new' universe created by her from a universe that had been 'rebooted' after it's set time frame. The Goddess of Death, Yomihime, resides in this realm and rules over the dead and the Yomijin.

Lower still, at the very bottom of our universe, is the Keigokusekai (or Keigoku) a world of hellish torture, punishment and where all damned souls go after they are judged in Diyu within Yomi. Keigoku was infact a section of the Jigokusekai that was so chaotic and lawless, the Goddess seperated it from it's parent universe and placed it underneath the Yomi no Kuni, where it now sits to this very day. The ruler of Keigoku is Oo-Enma, the warden of this infernal prison and the one who keeps all condemned prisoners in check and in chains. Ever since it's creation eons ago, not a single soul has escaped it's reaches.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Vael on December 17, 2011, 07:54:15 PM
A little plot Tewi inspired by this picture (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=620487) by ringetsumon (Safebooru link). I was afraid I was going to forget it, so I just gonna scribble it here...the problem being I'm just not confident enough in my writing to take a crack at this as a serious tale...if I inspire someone else in any way, that's good enough for me.

Here we go:
============

Gensokyo is set in the Puella Magi Madoka Magicka universe, pre-Madoka's Final Wish.

The land is actually a massive barrier set up by quite possibly one of the most powerful Puella around, Yukari, with the help of another, Reimu. Their goal was to create a world in which Witches and their familiars could grow, their barriers strengthening the one Yukari and Reimu constructed, allowing for an almost limitless number of Grief Seeds. Sadly, this meant also sacrificing humans to do so.

============
That's all I got right now, will be back with more later on.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on December 17, 2011, 08:12:57 PM
@Vael: Being Yuyuko is suffering. Also,
the Saigyou Ayakashi as a Witch?
Works well enough, I should think.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on December 19, 2011, 10:31:58 PM
goddammit, I just caughty myself thinking of "pre Madoka's final wish" as "pre-Scratch" :3c
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on December 22, 2011, 03:30:17 AM
Whats the Scratch from? Homestruck?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin on December 22, 2011, 06:13:50 AM
Whats the Scratch from? Homestruck?
Yeeeees. (http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/KimikoMuffin/pipe3.gif)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on December 23, 2011, 02:36:46 AM
Hmm. I am going to start NaNoNoMo a month and a half late, but am having trouble deciding which of my projects to go forward on.

Post-cyberpunk seimi-dystopia mecha Okuu in war with the Moon. (ideas here (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,6591.msg724811.html#msg724811)..part 0: here (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,10711.0.html))

Girl deals with becoming an Hermaphroditic god of the Sun, power generation, and fertilization while the stars are trying to get the Earth spirits to throw off their yoke to humanity. link (http://shikigamiscience.blogspot.com/search/label/Growing%20Up%20is%20the%20Energy%20of%20the%20Future)

Chen goes to Halkenaria. (http://shikigamiscience.blogspot.com/2011/10/familiar-of-zero-rei-no-shikigami.html) (which has the most laubored cross language pun thing I have ever seen: Familiar of Zero: Rei no Shikigami: Spirit's Computer, it doesn't even work in non-gensokian Japanese.)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Scrittore on December 23, 2011, 02:41:26 AM
I want to do a short story where all the Touhou girls are basically Hetalia characters. I do need help on deciding who'll be who, but I'm not sure if I should post it here. I mean, does this count as crossover...?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Scrittore on December 23, 2011, 04:47:37 AM
Also; and I've had this idea for half a year now, I have an idea where one of the Touhou girls is a slave and is purchased by another Touhou girl to work at a castle filled with Touhou girls and GASP the Lunarians arrive.
....
......
....... Stupid clich?d plots.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 23, 2011, 04:50:49 AM
It counts, and it goes here.

I recommend using very strong, deeply considered personalities, since it sounds like the fun of the story will come from the unique characterization you get from using the two sets of personalities. Unless I misunderstand.

On the other hand, I advise everyone to use characters that are deeply considered and have strong personalities that make them stick out in just about every story. It's pretty much my rule of thumb, because fun characters make the story that much more fun! While flat characters make the story fall flat.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Scrittore on December 23, 2011, 06:07:48 AM
Great! Now I'll have lot's of stuff to think over during winter break!
On the downside, my story about this and that is going to come first, so the second I reach the ten post thing, I'm going to get started on it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TAKE IT CACODEMON!! on December 23, 2011, 08:51:43 AM
Urgh, nearly all of my planned Touhoe works are crossovers or style parodies.

Currently planning a Touhou Effect 2 (featuring Reaper Ayakashi) and a Marisa Dies at the End (seriously. Go read John Dies at the End RIGHT NOW)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Vael on December 26, 2011, 07:56:22 PM
A little plot Tewi inspired by this picture (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=620487) by ringetsumon (Safebooru link). I was afraid I was going to forget it, so I just gonna scribble it here...the problem being I'm just not confident enough in my writing to take a crack at this as a serious tale...if I inspire someone else in any way, that's good enough for me.

Here we go:
============

Gensokyo is set in the Puella Magi Madoka Magicka universe, pre-Madoka's Final Wish.

The land is actually a massive barrier set up by quite possibly one of the most powerful Puella around, Yukari, with the help of another, Reimu. Their goal was to create a world in which Witches and their familiars could grow, their barriers strengthening the one Yukari and Reimu constructed, allowing for an almost limitless number of Grief Seeds. Sadly, this meant also sacrificing humans to do so.

============
That's all I got right now, will be back with more later on.
...and as usual, I can't come up with anymore background to the story beyond this. Urgh, fml.........
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on December 30, 2011, 10:18:15 PM
Okay, so I was watching this fanmade video about Touhou (first part here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS9kNLOP_h0&feature=youtube_gdata_player) and I was amazed to see a moon rabbit with black hair. Likingwhat I saw, I wanted to add a character like that in the fanfiction I am writing, Forgotten Harmony of Germane Errant (which is in Patcholi's Scarlet Library for anyone interested in reading it). However, I am wondering if there can be a character like that. So, let me hear your opinions over the matter.

EDIT: Thanks for moving this to the right place.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on December 31, 2011, 12:05:47 AM
It would be really petty to complain about moon rabbit hair color I would think, unless ZUN's made some comment on it so I don't think that'd be a concern.

On the other hand unless you're writing a series of shorts or doing a cameo, just dropping a character into the plot is usually a bad plan.  Characters in writing should have more meaning to their appearance.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on December 31, 2011, 01:12:55 AM
I know that, and I wouldn't be just dropping a random character into the story just like that. In fact, a black haired moon rabbit may just help it. I say this because the main character in my story is an outcast and I would assume that a black haired moon rabbit would also be considered the same from what I've seen from the two moon rabbits in the series that we know (Reisen and Reisen II), who both have silver hair.

Unless I am wrong on something, wouldn't this work?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on December 31, 2011, 05:23:18 AM
A story set in the touhou universe where someone is considered an outcast because of hair color sounds more like a parody of racism rather than a character flaw, what with even human hair colors coming in grey, blue, and green.

Maybe if she was half earth-rabbit, considering the lunarian purity obsession, that I could understand. Or if her personality was too weird for the other rabbits.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on December 31, 2011, 07:02:27 AM
Hmm... you're right. I don't want my story to be too critical about such a touchy matter. I'll have to think about this new character some more.

Other than that, I have another question about danmaku battles. Frankly, I don't even know how to start describing one and though thankfully I have not had any in my story yet, I do plan to include them. I just don't know how. Any tips or suggestions?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on December 31, 2011, 07:12:37 AM
I'd start by describing how the bullets launch. Obviously, you won't be able to describe the shape they form because the characters won't be looking at it from bird's eye view.

Next would be the behavior of the bullets. How fast are they? How do they move? Include stuff like those.

And there's the reaction of the people involved. How do they feel when the bullets graze them? What do they do? Pretty much like a normal fight with a gunfight flavor.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on December 31, 2011, 07:34:38 AM
Ah, I see. So all I have to do is follow those steps. Got it. Thanks for the help everyone. Time to go back and finish up Chapter 3 of my story.

Edit: And unfortunately I have another question. -_-
Anyone know what kind of creatures reside in Makai?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on January 01, 2012, 03:55:29 AM
I want to make a story where I make the forum members touhous - actual touhous, as in creditting touhou characters as the actual owners of forum accounts and incorperating their forum personalities into their gensokyo personalities.

Here is my chart so far:

***

Reimu ? Chaore
Marisa ?
Rumia ? Kerigis
Daiyousei - YouseiOnmyoji
Cirno ? Iced
Meiling ?
Koakuma - Koakuma
Patchouli ? Choja
Sakuya ?
Remilia ? Dorian
Flandre ?
Letty ? Letty
Alice ? Kimiko Muffin
Prismriver Sisters ?
Youmu - Sakana
Yuyuko ?
Chen ? Kitten4u
Ran ? Dormio
Yukari ?
Wriggle ?
Mystia ?
Tewi ? Pesco
Reisen ? Kilga
Eirin ? (JackMackerel)
Kaguya ? (Zentillion)
Keine ? Keine (the IRC bot)
Mokou ? capth (probably)
Medicine ? Medicine
Yuuka ? Shadoweh
Komachi -
Shikieiki - Esifex
Nitori - Roukan
Momiji ? Momiji
Kisume - Purvis
Orin ? Uncertain Kitten
Koishi - Ruro
Nazrin - E-Nazrin
Yoshi(ka) - Anthy

Shino(?) - Kanjou
Shinki - Erebus
Tokiko - Natsumi

***

The problem I'm running into is that I don't quite have a full set for any of the "houses" of gensokyo - the yakumo household, Eientei, the Scarlet Devil Mansion, etc. nor do I have anyone to attribute main characters to. I began listing out all the empty positions for the first games, but I would also be interested in positions for later games. The current positions are not set in stone, and members who are not listed will often only be not listed because there is no obvious assoiciation between them and one of the touhou characters. I would like help completing households in this list so that I can start using it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Bias Bus on January 01, 2012, 04:17:30 AM
Ah, I see. So all I have to do is follow those steps. Got it. Thanks for the help everyone. Time to go back and finish up Chapter 3 of my story.

Edit: And unfortunately I have another question. -_-
Anyone know what kind of creatures reside in Makai?
Other than Demons?

It's never actually stated what else lurks in Makai, so you can come up with something else entirely, if you want something besides the usual demon. I remember seeing something that Makai is also home to a lot of sealed entities or something. So there's that. No idea, if this is canon or not though as it's been ages since I last heard anything about it and it's source is fuzzy, at best.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on January 01, 2012, 09:45:30 AM
Thanks for that. I got everything I need now.

I want to make a story where I make the forum members touhous - actual touhous, as in creditting touhou characters as the actual owners of forum accounts and incorperating their forum personalities.

I don't know much about the household thing, but how can one get on that list?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on January 01, 2012, 05:58:16 PM
Thanks for that. I got everything I need now.

I don't know much about the household thing, but how can one get on that list?

Well, it's an early list that I'm not sure what I'm doing with yet, but getting on the list is pretty simple.

Step 1. Pick a touhou character. Any touhou character.
Step 2. Be easier to write about/a better pick than whoever already selected that touhou character if taken, else if not taken you're good to go.

Preference given to people who have strong personalities that I know fairly well, especially through IRC, because I'm hoping to try to use it for an RP thingy. I'm not completely sure if it will go anywhere, and names that are already taken can and will be retaken by people who are either more suited to the position or people I know better and would have less trouble writing about. If I can't write about you, then I can't write a story that incorperates your personality into a touhou character.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jett on January 02, 2012, 02:11:56 AM
Ah. So if, say, I wanted to be part of your story. I would just tell you what character I would pick and you would see if my personality was like that character's?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on February 02, 2012, 12:46:58 PM
I'm trying not to use the colonveealpha right now.

Okay, against all my logic of using this for this year's NaNoWriMo, I'm going to plan and probably write a Touhou x Sherlock Holmes AU, meaning Holmes in the 21st Century, then replaced with Touhou characters and put in Japan. inb4AUception. I already have in mind the plot of my first mystery, but I'm stuck planning out Holmes's and Watson's expies.

Here so far is my list of choices:
Holmes:
Yukari (feels a bit upper class)
Reimu (is a main character)
Yuugi (has a blatant urban atmosphere)
Hina (is detached from society?)
Yuyuko (always fools around)
Eirin (science!)
Aya (Doyle never introduced journalist characters, right?)
Patchouli (minus the asthma)

Watson: (along the lines of "who would move in with the above people?")
Ran (Yukari)
Reimu (Yukari)
Marisa (Reimu, Eirin)
Suika (Yuugi)
Medicine (Hina)
Minoriko (Hina)
Youmu (Yuyuko, Yukari, Eirin)
Reisen (Eirin, Yuugi)
Hatate (Aya, Yuugi)
Koakuma (Patchouli, Hina)
Patchouli
Sanae

Which character I'll choose for Holmes will determine the location of 221B Baker Street, which I have also listed:

Yukari = Mayohiga, isolated, quiet, upper class = Kyoto/Osaka
Reimu = main character, Hakurei Shrine = Tokyo/Kyoto
Yuugi = Underground City, urban, crowded = Sapporo/Kobe
Hina =  ???
Yuyuko = Netherworld, isolated, quiet = Kyoto/ ???
Eirin = medical = Osaka
Aya = journalist = Tokyo
Patchouli = Anywhere!

Of course, none of these are final and set, and I can change them as I see fit. Anyone could fit in to Watson's role, though, since this will be an AU, but I'm leaning towards Patchouli. Now, I need help in choosing the expy combinations, because I'm tempted to use Yukari for Holmes, and to check my writing for character consistency, because I love to drift away from the story and drabble. And I'd very much appreciate suggestions.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go read up on A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four again.  :(
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Desu_Cake on February 02, 2012, 12:57:03 PM
Lunasa cuz she has a violin
I'd say go for Yukari - she's supposed to be good at maths, so logic and deduction isn't a huge stretch.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ibaraki Ibuki on February 08, 2012, 02:19:29 PM
I did consider writing a Touhou fanfic based on the short stories or the 2009 film; it's nice to see someone who has a similar idea. (Personally, if I were to write my fanfic, I'd set the story in the Meiji or Taisho era, but setting it in the present makes your work a lot easier.)

My suggestions for Holmes -- Watson pairings:

My suggestion for the location of "221B Baker Street": Kyoto, though Tokyo or Osaka are better substitutes for London.

I'd also like to suggest including Aya or Hatate as a journalist character. As far as I know, Doyle didn't have Holmes interact with the press very much, so a newspaper reporter would be a nice addition. (And having Aya harass interview the other characters may help prevent writer's block or boost word count a la ninjas invading 221B Baker Street.)

That's all from me, but I'm wondering if you have planned expies of Mycroft, Lestrade, or the Baker Street Irregulars? (Cirno and co. might fill that last role.)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on February 09, 2012, 11:11:52 AM
Mycroft would be Yukari (lazy but more intelligent than the Holmes-expy), and Lestrade would be Marisa (actually good at what she does, but just isn't like the Holmes-expy), but the Baker Street Irregulars would be chosen at my discretion, because I have no idea who they should be. Cirno would be their leader, for sure.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nolrai2 on February 14, 2012, 09:37:03 AM
Honestly homes makes me think of Akyu.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on February 14, 2012, 09:56:35 AM
Honestly homes makes me think of Akyu.
Why did I not think of this.  :o Although, Akyu doesn't strike me as someone who would do all sorts of crazy things just to accomplish something. Then again, I'm making an AU of an AU. That could work, too.  :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ibaraki Ibuki on February 14, 2012, 02:13:44 PM
Honestly homes makes me think of Akyu.
I tend to think Akyuu is more Watson than Holmes (since both of them are writers). Though if Akyuu is Holmes, Keine would be an obvious choice for Watson. (But try to surprise me. :))
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Nekomata-chan on February 14, 2012, 08:50:11 PM
A good Holmes-Watson pairing I've heard of is Ichirin and Shou;
Shou = Holmes
Ichirin = Watson.
My friend told me about this, and I have to say it's quite an interesting one. I can honestly say I've never seen a kind of pairing like that.

Although, someone told me Nue and Mamizou would also work in that area, whichever way round. Not sure why  :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: CrowCakes on February 28, 2012, 11:57:09 AM
I have this uncanny knack for never getting to start on ideas. I'm going to shelve the whole Touhou x Holmes thing for a while and bring out something new.

Touhou and Paper Mario 1.

Of course, this won't put paper!Mario in the Touhou world. I have in mind Lady Bow (http://www.mariowiki.com/Lady_Bow), though. Just a simple "I got dumped in another world and I have to find a way out" plot, except for the fact that Bow doesn't actively try to find a way out, nor does she care at all. Will also feature Yuyuko (she's a ghost) and Remilia (same personality?) just to see how well I can contrast their personalities. This will mostly be a series of slice-of-life one-shots.

Any thoughts or suggestions will be appreciated. BUT I NEED THE COMMENTS OTL
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Grimarg on March 01, 2012, 07:53:54 AM
I'm thinking about doing a TohouxAvantasia crossover, But replacing Lugaid and some other characters with thouhou characters. And of course Avantasia will be replaced by Gensokyo. There are other things that I'll have to explain
like how does a character from current Gensokyo goes to the 17th century Europe and vice-versa.
This will be my first serius attempt at storytelling and I'm not sure of how it's going to turn out :ohdear:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on March 02, 2012, 04:02:41 AM
You know, half those characters were alive in the 17th century, and a number of them were probably in Europe at the time. Remilia and Flandre Scarlet were probably there when it happened.

Gensokyo is also fairly easy to explain if you take liberties with the canon. You are allowed to assume Gensokyo as it is existed in 17th century Europe, and even ignore things from canon that contradict the story you want to tell. Likewise for the Avantasia world/plot (admittedly, I am not particularly familiar with that canon, and only looked it up in response to reading your post). This is because the world you write doesn't have to be exactly the same as the world you're basing the story on.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Grimarg on March 02, 2012, 05:34:43 PM
I think I have most of it sorted out.

Patchouli is in the 17th century Europe trying to retrieve a book that the church stole from the one that she borrowed to (She managed to get there after casting a time warping spell she read of in one of her books). She is cougth and then sent to the prision where she is locked until Gabriel (the main character, a dominican novice) is also sent there. The high-ranks of the monastery take the book to the pope, who has a plan to seal the land ilumination (Gensokyo).  After that they escape but its too late to retrieve the book as the book is already in the pope's hands and so she must send Gabriel to Gensokyo. She does that using a spell that separates his mind from his body, and he appears in current Gensokyo with a body that is the projection of his mind (Kind of like Maribel, but he comes from the past and not the future) at the same time that the pope and his companions. There he meets with Marisa and Reimu who explains the situation and ask him to get the book back.

I won't give much more detail because I have just summed up half the story :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Nat Tea on March 20, 2012, 07:58:57 AM
A simple request: A good title for this concept.

After running away from their hometown due to plans of it being militarized for the war, the Komeiji sisters take on a simple assignment to harvest Metatron, a highly valued ore with energy emitting properties which sells for a very high price in the market. They embark in their LEVs (manned robots, essentially) and search for the ore when Satori finds something of extreme value buried deep inside the earth: an abandoned Orbital Frame (an advanced version of an LEV that uses the aforementioned Metatron as a power source) codenamed "Janus". Unfortunately, a small squad of authorities soon find them and with the sisters mining without a license, the two are branded as criminals. Of course, the worst crime they decide to commit in front of the police is getting in the Orbital Frame and making a hasty escape with what could probably be top secret technology they were never supposed to have. In their reluctance to become involved in the war, the Komeijis now have the tool that could end the war, but which side would they take, the side of the Earthlings (the ones who decided to stay on Earth, with the Witches of Four led by Byakuren) or the side of the Enders (the ones "at the end of civilization" that decided to leave Earth and go beyond to find new resources, with the Meliorists led by Miko)?

Was going for "Iris Drops: Depths of the Peerless Consciousness" but sounds weird.

okay I'm done rewriting it, it should look a lot better now, help please okay thanks <3

also rdj doesn't have anything to do with it :clapclap:

UPDATE: Never mind, I found a name that works! Disregard this post.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Teewee on June 20, 2012, 02:28:50 PM
A girl who, during her period, becomes a pile of sweetness as opposed to a pile of rage.

A guy admiring an extremely hot black lady, thinking to himself "that's negro sex on legs, right there.".

A Blackanese love interest!

Realistic depictions of xenophobia in various countries.

Awkward moments of a guy who gives blacks special treatment because they're black. "Here, take my seat. Because you're black, and thats awesome." "Hey, don't be a dick to him! He's blacker than you!" "I wish I was black as him."
(I tried this out back in middle school. I got instant respect from everyone XD I lived in a place where creative racial humor is praised)

A sweet girl who admires all skin tones. When she sees an attractive person, she thinks "thats such lovely light/dark skin he/she has". This girl is as quirky as a shoujo manga character :3
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Mr. Sacchi on June 25, 2012, 04:51:22 PM
I need somebody to review this scene, no, the full thing isn't coming out any time soon, but yeah  :derp:

(I take it this is the right place to post it, right?  :ohdear:)

----------------------------------------------------

Below the full moon night came the great flower garden, flowers, flowers as far as the eye could conceive, all of them calmly moving the quiet night's wind.

There was a single Youkai, a flower Youkai, whose name was known to anybody with any sort of knowledge in Gensokyo, she was the very reason none dared venture inside the garden - Yuuka Kazami.

Though the Youkai stood proudly in the middle of her garden, open umbrella in hand, tonight, she was restless, not because she wanted to kill - her most favorite hobby - not because she hadn't left her garden in a few days...

"Hello there." Came a voice from behind, the youkai smiled, that was the very reason she felt so restless, the presence of that very person in her garden... No, in Gensokyo made her smile.

She looked back, seeing the very floating form of a woman she had longed to see again, for many, many reasons, the characteristic staff and long green hair... Nobody could ever forget her.

"Long time no see." Yuuka replied, "Mima."

"It's certainly been a while, hasn't it?" The ghost asked, smiling almost sadistically at her old friend, "I can see you still haven't grown bored of Gensokyo."

Reaching for her umbrella, she spoke "Who would?" she asked, closing the umbrella silently, and turning back to her friend. "Gensokyo is such a marvelous place... I doubt anyone could become bored in here."

"True enough I suppose."

Yuuka raised an eyebrow, "I thought you were sealed away?" a small laugh, "Was even the power of the Great Hakurei Maiden not enough to keep you down?"

She sighed, "As much as I hate to admit it, Ai was strong enough that I wouldn't be able to break the seal myself, even if I tried." Mima replied, looking at the moon at the tip of her staff with disappointment, "I had... External help."

"I can even guess who it was." Yuuka laughed, "I knew that man was trouble the moment I saw him."

"Well, I guess you do know about him, so let's cut to the chase, shall we?" the ghost said, turning back to Yuuka, "He let me go, but on a timer, I have only one month to cause as much chaos in Gensokyo as I possibly can." she continued.

"Really, can such a man impose such things on you?" Yuuka frowned, "Unfortunately, yes." Mima replied.

"Though he broke the seal, my physical soul belongs to no world now, in truth, I should fade away, no nirvana, nothing, just fade away." Mima started, "However, through a certain magical stone, that man - or should I say, his friend - managed to give me a one-month timer on this world, and he has proven that he can put me here indefinitely."

"I did not expect him to have the Philosopher's Stone." Yuuka inquired, grinning. "Sometimes, I forget you're as great of a magician as I am." Mima laughed.

"So I come to you, to help me with this little endeavour, I hope Gensokyo has not softened you to the point of leaving your sadistic ways, hm?"

Yuuka smiled, "It will be my pleasure."

-------------------------------------------------------

Something in this scene doesn't feel quite right to me... Help?

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kosmos on July 01, 2012, 12:38:16 AM
Sacchi, it sounds like you might want to grab a beta reader. Maybe PM a friend to see if he wants to take a peek and give some commentary. I'm afraid there's not much I can review from just a single scene, but I can tell that this can become a rather interesting story if you're willing to expand your concept. Considering its open ended nature (Two green-haired sadists doing whatever sadists do :V), I'd suggest stretching it to the most logical extreme. There's good potential for lots of comedic sociopathy here. I'm not too familiar with Touhou in general (new here), but I'd be willing to review your concept if you elaborated on it. Just don't ask me to beta it, I'm not familiar with the community (yet).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Forte Blackadder on July 20, 2012, 02:41:17 PM
I'll put this one here... TouhouxDiablo 3

Act I:
Sakuya, a Demon Hunter who received an order to travel to Tristram, investigating the horror created by a fallen star. She then met Momiji, a dutiful captain, Alice, a mysterious girl and Yuugi, the infamous Barbarian. After knowing the disappearance of Alice's mother, Eirin, Sakuya and Yuugi decided to help. With the agility of the Demon Hunter and the strength of the Barbarian, they found Eirin quite easily far below the Cathedral. Eirin was grateful and told them the truth that she was only Alice's adopted mom. She also explained the truth behind the fallen star: An angel had come to fulfill the destiny of Earth, where Heavens fight against themselves and the Lords of Hell rise.

Eirin believed that three strongest Evils, Diablo, Mephisto and Baal were trapped inside a jewel. And now the other Lords: Andariel, Duriel, Beliah and Azmodan were moving to reclaim it. The jewel was not only the prison of the three Evils, but also a fusion machine that can mix the Evils together to revive the Dark God: Tathamet. Upon hearing this, Sakuya and Yuugi agreed to help Eirin track the jewel so it can be destroyed once and for all. However the first step they needed was to find the Angel, fallen far under the cathedral. The only way to advance was through the cursed tomb of Princess Toyosatomimi.

Princess Toyosatomimi was a noble, decent prince who adored her country. However, she was so open-minded that she tried to convert all religions into one. This act created a great conflict that ended in her breakdown. Princess Toyosatomimi, after getting bashed from everyone had finally gone mad. She stated that there was no need to argue over theories, people could find their answers upon death. Yes, she killed everyone. The massacre only ended when a powerful monk appeared and defeated the mad princess. She then was sealed exactly below the Tristram Cathedral.

Surpringly enough, the monk was still alive and kicking asses after all those years. Eirin deliberately asked her to come over along with Sakuya, the 'Knight of Nights' and Yuugi, the 'Deva of Strength' to stop this madness. The monk was the 'Lotus Fist', Byakuren.

Following Eirin's instructions, Sakuya, Yuugi and Alice arrived to the Cemetery of the Forsaken. In there, they met Byakuren who was swiftly exorcising the rising dead back to their graves. Though nearly a hundred years old, Byakuren looked young and delicate. She only said that delicious food was the key. After an hours searching the crypts, they found the crown of Toyosatomimi's, and quickly returned to the Cathedral.

The tomb was full with ghosts and the princess' nightmare, but Byakuren's mantra managed to keep the party's sanity when they moved forwards. Not long, they arrived at the chamber. Byakuren placed the crown onto Toyosatomimi's head, then the princess woke up. She revealed that they can descend to the fallen star through a hidden passage, but she'd only open it after Byakuren admits defeat and kills herself. Failing to comprehend, the party beat Toyosatomimi to death and went down the stairs. They later found an unconscious woman laying on the shattered ground.

After being nursed back to health by Eirin, the woman found herself having an amnesia, thus forgot who she was and what her purpose in here. The only memory she had was a broken sword. Momiji then rushed in, announcing that a group of crazy cultists had appeared. They seemed to know the dark arts and occupied of the Fields of Misery. The party took this as a new mission.  When clearing the area, Alice noticed a metal shard glowing from the ground and surrounded by some high-classed looking cultists. Sakuya quickly disposed them and took the shard. When the Angel saw it, she remembered her name was Mokou.

Sakuya recalled the cultists was calling a name of "Beliah" when she finished them off. Eirin explained that name belonged to the Lord of Lies, one of the inferior Hell Lords that were trying to take the Evil Jewel. She also said that this Lord had built a dangerous cult and gave the leadership to a ruthless girl. This girl often resorted to violence than speechcraft, and had a base in Wortham. The party travelled there without rest, and found the village was burning. At the Center, they confronted Suika, the Drunken Fist, rival of Yuugi back in the Barbarian Clan, and also the leader of the Beliah Cult. Suika was indeed drunk and spitting out all nonsense, so Yuugi had to hit her. But that was all a substitute. The real Suika had gone to New Tristram!

When the party returned, They witnessed Mokou's capture. Most they could do was reclaiming the Angel Sword, fixed by Suika herself to kill Eirin.

Alice cried much even after the funeral, but she was a strong girl. They swore to avenge and expel the Evils from this land. They took Suika's challenge and went to the Hall of Agony. The adventure was a tough one with much madder cultists preparing to fight to the death. But at long last, in the Chamber of Suffering they opposed Suika once again.

The match was an one-on-one between two Barbarians, and Yuugi bested the Drunken Fist. Suika's head was put on a spike near Eirin's grave, and Mokou was saved. When she grabbed the sword, the angel showed herself in a radiant light. She regained her memory and knew exactly what the next step was: Beliah in the Borderlands.

Act II:
The Borderlands was a huge desert that existed a country, ruled by the young Queen Tewi. The kid had always been lying, joking, teasing people since birth. Mokou suspected that she could be Beliah in disguise, or at least had some connection. But to meet the Queen is out of question, the party had to gain reputation first and right away they were given a quest from the Chansellor Keine: destroyed the hidden bases of Beliah Cultists lurking in the desert.

On their way, they met a mysterious beauty, who claimed to be a wizard from the East by the name of Yukari. This woman stated that she can lead the team to the cult. Suspicious, Sakuya secretly sent a request on this woman to the HQ. Yukari indeed helped them found the bases and destroyed them easily, but refused to tell them her identity until they defeat all the Evils. Later that night, Sakuya received a telegram saying that there was only one wizard by the name of Yukari from 500 years ago.

The city celebrated the heroines' success, but the Queen didn't come. Alice went to the palace by herself and got captured. Sakuya and Byakuren tried to rescue her and met Tewi, the Queen revealed herself to be another leader of the Beliah Cult, summoning the invisible monsters to attack the girls. They managed to escape to the sewer and saw the Queen again. Before they could attack, Tewi politely surrendered and asked for help, as she was under surveillance of Beliah and couldn't oppose the Lord. She told the party that the only way to defeat the Lords of Hell was using the Evil Jewel. The jewel could capture all evils' soul and mix them together. So as long as the owner didn't use them for the bad, the jewel would stay there and be able to destroy. Tewi knew a woman that understood the mechanic of the Jewel, and asked the team to find her. The name was Mima.

It was easy to find Mima in the Oasis above the end of the sewer. But there was a problem: she was dead. Her ghost boasted proudly that the jewel was hidden by her in her hidden chamber, and only with herself in flesh and bone, the passage would open. On their way, they also found a mysterious woman that claimed to be Eirin's sister, Yuuka. She was a powerful witch and having a conflict with Yukari about breasts and stuffs like that. Yuuka confirmed that she knew a way to revive Mima, as long as they find the body.

Fortunately Mima remembered where she was killed, so she was revived pretty easily after a huge deal with monsters and cultists. The chamber was opened, but turned into a trap. Mima laughed at everyone and said that the jewel was with them all along: the amulet that Alice was wearing. Now she was to get it and suck all the evil power of the Three Lords, becoming invincible and take over the world. Little did she knew the power of the team. So Mima was killed again and everyone went back to the city.

Here, they heard the echos of Beliah, demanding the jewel or the whole city would die. The Lord of Lies indeed lied, as poisonous meteors were falling all over the place killing everyone. Mokou, Yuuka quickly helped people to evacuate when the others advanced to the palace. There, they confronted Tewi yet again. The kid turned into a rabbit monster and gave everyone a hard time until Yukari found an opening to strike with her strongest nuke. Alice quickly took out the amulet and tried to capture the soul of Beliah, and she succeeded.

However, right when the team was about to relax, a shadow rushed in and stole the amulet. Sakuya, Yukari, Yuugi and Byakuren were injured during the fight, so they got beaten down by it. The shadow then, to everyone's surprises, was Eirin. She was Beliah.

Eirin revealed that she and Azmodan wanted to rebel against the Three Superior Evils, and Mephisto, Baal had broken free from the event of the Fallen Star. And now she would have to unite with the inferior Lords to prepare to fight. She also invited the defeated heroines to Mount Arreat, where the Lord of Sins was executing the grand plan. With that, she disappeared.

Act III and IV are here too, but the above is quite long already... not sure if anyone is interested :)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hinacle on August 09, 2012, 05:51:40 AM
Do you guys have any suggestions for a how to write danmaku fight scene?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Retsim Reklats on August 09, 2012, 10:18:23 AM
The Dark History of Touhou 1: Yakumo Yukari
- My theory about Yukari's background. I'm writing it now, but not gonna finish yet due to the continuation of Touhoumon, so, if anyone interests, feel free to take this.

The Countess Hearn, wife of the leader of a half-youkai-half-human noble family in UK, gave birth to a beautiful child, named Violetta Hearn.
In the congratulating party, there was the main rival of the Count: Ulick Norman Owen Scarlet, leader of the Vampire, who used the reason of "Finding the Successor of the Brunestud" to gather a great army to wage war with the human.
Violetta revealed her power as "gapping through space" and became a laughing stock of everyone, instantly labelled as a "third class youkai".

In her teen, Violetta went to the youkai school and met Layla Primsriver, who refused to go to Hogwarts for some reason. Layla was a modest, but naughty student, together with Violetta they messed up the school real bad. They became friends and Layla taught Violetta much about how to complicate simple stuffs, which honed Violetta's gapping ability to "beyond imagination".

Because of sickness, Layla passed away not long after they had their 17th birthday party. Mourning over her friend's death, Violetta ignored everything but studying dark magic, in order to bring Layla back. She found the possibility in the East.

At that time, a war broke out, and the Hearn Alliance defeated the Scarlet army with the death of the Count himself, the vampire was being hunted for years after that. Violetta, despite unreasonable fighting and her father's dream of peace, traveled to Japan. She then changed her name to "Yakumo Yukari".

There was a dark time in Japan also, when the youkai beasts were fighting each others to death, and Yukari came exactly at the time of the final battle: Kyuubi against Orochi. Yukari tried to kill both, but failed miserably and almost died. She was saved by a passing girl, who turned out to be the head daughter of a youkai-extermination family, Saigyouji Yuyuko.

Yuyuko had a very strong power, which forced her to be alone of all time, the only one that was with her was Konpaku Youki, a ghost swordmaster.
Together, Yukari and Yuyuko killed Orochi and captured Kyuubi. The nine-tailed fox was then brain-washed and became Yukari's shikigami, named Yamuko Ran.

Yuyuko had to sacrifice herself for the sake of her family, which was not approved by Yukari. A fight broke out in the backyard of the Saigyouji, Yukari killed most of the family, gapped Youki to another dimension but failed to save her friend. This event awakened Yukari's true power, and allowed her to bring the whole land to the Netherworld, where souls can form shape. In there, Yukari united with Yuyuko once again.

One day, while having a moon-viewing, Yukari asked Yuyuko if the moon was beautiful. Yuyuko said yes, and she joked that it'd be nice if Yukari can gift her the Moon. Yukari took it too seriously and gather an army, advanced to the Lunar Capital.

The Wakatsukihime at that time were too young to face a powerful youkai, and their leader was gone to Earth, for the tradition of letting the new-born princess travel around the Great Blue Planet. An urgent message was sent, and the leader had to hide the new-born princess in a bamboo forest, then got back to the Moon.

After a month of war, Yagokoro Eirin outwitted Yakumo Yukari completely and drew the youkai back to Earth. Yukari, too shamed of this defeat, didn't go back to Hakugyoukuro but instead traveled around Japan, finding her aim in life.

At that time, the youkai in Japan was being hunted by human, reminding Yukari of her family and her past, therefore she decided to rescue them all.
Joining force with the Hakurei, Yukari helped creating the Great Hakurei Boundary and isolated a huge land to be home of youkai, named Gensokyo.

Thus, the game began...


Pretty interesting  :3

I also have a theory regarding Yukari's background. But I consider this as a fanfic..  :D

Do you guys know about Lafcadio Hearn? I won't say about who he is. Go google it, the impact will be better.

So, there was a young man named Lafka (fictional character based on Lafcadio Hearn) who came to Matsue, Japan in 1890, five years after the creation of The Great Hakurei Border. This young man had the ability to manipulate boundary. Later he was known as the descendant from the Han Family which is stated in the wikia as one of the clans that can enter Gensokyo.

Upon his arrival in Japan, He accidentally met Suika and Yukari who were still gathering youkai to be invited to Gensokyo. Since he had the ability to manipulate boundaries, he could sense their presence and thus, the fated meeting took place.

At first Yukari and Suika were still uneasy about him so they cast him aside and ran back to Gensokyo. But eventually Lafka's power grown untill the moment he could enter Gensokyo by himself. He encountered Suika again, and was challenged in a game. He won and Suika somehow became his bodyguard due to the shame of losing.
Yukari suddenly became curious about Lafka after hearing that Suika had been defeated by him.

A bit of cliche, that curiosity eventually became love. But their world were different. So Yukari decided to end their relationship, knowing the fact that it would end up as a long life tragedy. Lafka then went back to the outside world, and continued his daily while still longing for Yukari (His story then follows the actual history of Lafcadio Hearn, untill the time when he changed his name to Koizumi Yakumo)

An here we are, it turned out that during their relationship, Yukari and Lafka had already been gifted by a child.
This child was named Maribel Hearn. After their parting, Yukari took care of Maribel.
Maribel was a half Youkai.

Lafka then died in 1904.
The story focused on Yukari and Maribel.
It was when the Great Hakurei Border weakened, for the first time in 1945 because of the WWII in the outside world. Spirits of the dead and the Youkai who were dead because of the nuclear bombing on the outside world caused an instability to the border. Long story short, Yukari sacrificed herself to maintain the border.
She passed on her will to protect Gensokyo to Maribel by dividing her into two different worlds and froze the time in Gensokyo.

After that, there were two worlds existed, one with Gensokyo (Imaginary) and one without (Reality). These two worlds that were created was actually one. The one which was on the verge of destruction because of the border weakening.
The story then went on following the teenage life of Maribel (who didn't remember who she was)
In the reality, she met Rin Satsuki.
In the imaginary she met Renko Usami.
(The story then follows the canon)

Maribel then lived her life untill the time she graduated from the college. Her past memory caught up to her.
She then realized about who she was and traveled back to 1,200 years ago (Both of her, Imaginary and Reality)
There, she met her other self and merge as one. Born as a full fledged Youkai. She also met her mother, Yukari who had been waiting for her. Explaining that it was her plan from the beginning. She had seen the future of Gensokyo and decided to do that. The Sage Youkai were also present there.
She was told that it was the time to merge the two worlds and save the real world.
However, to merge the world she had to sacrifice one of the world as a catalyst. Thus she was given two choices :
1. Save the world and Gensokyo (Sacrifices Rin Satsuki and the reality world)
2. Save only the world (Sacrifices Renko Usami and the imaginary world)

But suddenly Rin Satsuki offered herself to be sacrificed, declaring that she was a being created because of the the border weakening.
So, The choice 1 was chosen and all went back to the state of the world 1,200 years ago.
After that, Yukari vanishes and ascended as a Dragon God, watching over Maribel.

Maribel changed her name, Yukari Yakumo.
Yukari from her mother, and Yakumo from her father.


Then the game starts.

Pretty random, eh?  :V
This is still a scratch... I'm still developing it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on August 11, 2012, 05:07:18 PM
Do you guys have any suggestions for a how to write danmaku fight scene?
Being able to visualize is key. Watch some videos like this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_l61h_4WPo) or this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ1IC-TbH7A), and think about how you could describe the movements of the fighters and their danmaku and the environment around them.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Blackraptor on August 25, 2012, 06:58:40 AM
Here's a little line of thought that grew into something odd over at another board I frequent. Figured you guys could probably make use of it in some way:

It started out like this:

Quote
Hmmm...there's a thought. What if gap-space is common for all Yukaris in every universe? As in, they gap stuff into the same place regardless of which Yukari from which universe goes it. A few may have even bumped into each other at some point...there could be an entire network of Yukari Yakumos out there.

Considering how inconsistent Yukari's attitude and motivations seem to be at times, it may even be plausible that the Yukari Reimu and the gang sees isn't the Yukari that originally came from their Gensokyo. They could very well be popping in and out of each others' Gensokyos for maximum trolling.

The Yukari Yakumo alliance. Dedicated to use their combined power and experience for the sole purpose of finding amusement in Gensokyo...every last Gensokyo.

Quote
Just a thought...

Couldn't we use this idea to explain Yukari's inconsistent eye color?

Then this:

Quote
Which prompted the mental image of Ran stepping into the dining room from the kitchen during dinner to find five or so Yukaris sitting at the table, all of them holding out bowls asking for refills.

Yukari manipulates the border of "Being Yakumo Yukari".

Which turned into this:
Quote
Yakumo Yukari, the Black and White Witch, stepped off her broomstick outside the gate to the Yakumo shrine, where the Shrine Maiden of Paradise, Yakumo Yukari, was taking a much needed break from sweeping the temple grounds to greet her arriving friends.

"So, Yukari," said the Black and White, "Noticed anything... Odd... recently? Anything... Incidenty?"

The Red and white, tapped her lip and hummed. "Hello Yukari. Well, since you're asking I'm assuming there's something. But I can't seem to recall anything."

"Absolutely nothing?" The Black and White insisted, with a slightly manic look in her eyes. "Nothing at all?"

"Hmmm... Well, maybe. Lemme check with Yukari." the Red-White said and turned to shout at the temple porch, where the Tiny Night Parade of a Hundred Demons, the Oni Yakumo Yukari, was resting. "Oi, Yukari! You notice any incidents recently?"

The Oni sat up drunkenly and waved dismissively, before slumping back down on her back.

The Red-white turned back to her friend. "Of course I noticed it! Geeze, what kind of nineball do you think I am?"

"Ah!" The Black White rubbed her head sheepishly. "I guess I was thinking maybe it was worse than it was?"

"Anyway, now that you're here, lets go. I think we both know who's behind this one."

"Right! This time it's Yukari for sure. And the best part is, even if it's not Yukari, it'll still be Yukari!"

"... You feel proud of having come up with that?"

"A little bit, yeah."

And then ended us as:

Quote
Obviously this ends up with a Gensokyo composed entirely of Yukari Yakumo taking on the roles of the regular cast.

Touhoukari: Where every stage is a Phantasm-level stage~!

Quote
Just imagine the faces on the Watatsuki sisters when they drop down to Eientei for the Moon Viewing Festival to visit Eirin and find everyone turned into Yukari Yakumo.

Quote
"I say, sister, have you noticed anything strange about this place?"

"You mean like how everyone is the same person?"

"Yes."

"What so strange about it." Said the elder sister.

"I don't know. I must have been confused for a moment there." said Yakumo Yukari.

Quote
"This will become the most awesome self-insert fic ever~"
-Yukari Yakumo, talking about her new story 'Highly Responsive to Yukari Yakumo'

All of which started because of a casual discussion about the likelihood of Maribel Hearn being past!Yukari before she became a youkai.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Ran-Rii on November 07, 2012, 02:25:54 AM
Am I allowed to post on something 3 months ago...? I did not see any rules on not being able to do this, so here goes...
I am not really a good writer, but writing is my hobby, so...

Please review my story plan...
[Original Story, with a few touches of Touhou, Fate/Stay Night and Card Games]

I used the SpellCard system as the main method of battle here.

魔法の聖戦 - Holy War of Magic

Get ready...

This story takes place in a place called Yakusoku, and it is connected with the real world. Many things that Humans refused to believe in ends up there, like Magic. As many of the denizens/citizens there have Magic, they use it in their daily lives, for convenience, fun, pleasure [for the heck of using it] or to settle anything hostile. Due to many of the
Denizens getting Magic, they devised a SpellCard system for SpellCard duels to constrain power and to settle all hostilities. All SpellCard duels will lock two parties in a bounded field, where a battle takes place with each party trying to kill each other in the bounded field. After which one party is killed, the bounded field closes and everything returns status-quo, with hostilities terminated and conflicts forcefully resolved by the outcome of the battle, with the winner deciding on what is to happen. To avoid barbaric combat, the SpellCard system is also used when fighting, where the two parties cast spells at each other.

The denizens/citizens of Yakusoku mostly age so slowly that nothing really much happens to their age, and Humans, with magic, can render themselves the same state as the denizens of Yakusoku, the Yousei, like how they can avoid eating and drinking and can even keep their aging under control and age at the same rate as the Yousei. Other abilities include being able to fly, etc, etc...

However, in every few decades, a Holy War (Seisen) breaks out to decide the next keeper of the Shrine of the G-o-ds. This is when SpellCard duels become vital to survival, as the losers of one will be killed off for real and the spirits be sent to the Land of the Dead, where they are left to wander forever. The winner, who will have killed off directly or indirectly 999 other competitors of the competition will have to gather the souls of the dead and offer them to the G-o-ds, henceforth becoming the Shrine Keeper and bestowed the power of the G-o-ds, at least until the next Holy War. All Yousei that are above 700 years old MUST take part in this war. They may also find partners from another world, and sign a contract with them, getting an advantage in terms of Magic and also, to incite Humans into participating, be granted 1 wish. Of course, at the end, if one is unable to defeat the previous Shrine Keeper... she shall die, and the souls offered to the g-o-ds to bestow power and recognition once more to the previous Shrine Keeper.

Our hero, a mundane boy by the name of Luluche Grants, age 16, gets a mysterious letter from a supposed boarding University in Japan, supposedly inviting him to the school to study due to his outstanding results and proficiency in Math and Science. He accepts, and on the plane flight there, he finds a elaborately designed card with a blank white space at the front of it when he received his lunch on the plane. Thinking that it was some sort of souvenir, he kept it.

When he reached the school, he was assigned to the dormitories. Feeling the school to be "odd" for being such an elegant structure that seems otherworldly, he attempts to adventure around the school. For some reason, the amount of people in school he saw kept decreasing... and decreasing... day by day... until day 4, where he suspected something was seriously wrong. All the students or teacher's that disappeared were all excused with similar excuses like "He is on Sick-Leave" or that "She has some family matters to attend to".

That night, coincidentally, he remembered his keepsake he got on the plane, and mysteriously enough, words in elegant cursive font appeared on the card: "If you are one who believes in Magic, and are the chosen for the Holy War... Hold onto this card and call your prayers. Henceforth, you shall be bound to the contract that will seal your life and death."

In curiousity, he did as he was told, and the scenery started to change... from gradually fading to black and then static... then to an old-fashioned brown and grey... and the walls started to break apart... and he arrived in a hall, with a circle-like Arena of sorts and the disintegrating walls culminating at the apparent ceiling of the hall in a spiral. Four elegant large windows were fixed into the disintegrating walls, and the grandeur was amazing. It was then he realised the bodies of countless students lying on the floor of the hall, collapsed, weak, and some ceased to be alive...

Well, I wanted it to start this way...

And then, they will find that actually, the "g-o-ds" were actually Humans who found their way into this world via a dimensional rift, and found the potency of the Magic here, and wanted to collect the souls of the living things here to fuel their research on the magic that lies within this souls, and extract it. They also found that Magic in Humans exist as well, thus they set up a so-called campus to select the most intellectually smart to collect their Magic, as Magic can only exist in this world, and they found that only Magic that has matured enough can be concentrated and extracted, and maintain its form, or it will just dissipate when extracted, which is non-recoverable. Also, they found that Magic Powers reached their height during Fights and War, thus they instigated the war.

As they knew that this world ran parallel with the "Real" World, they went to build a Shrine of sorts, then started playing g-o-d and incited them into a war using their newfound power and intellect, promising boundless power to the Shrine Keeper. Of course, this links back into the "real" world as well, when they attempt to merge both in order to be able to use Magic to take over the central government of the world in order to reign absolute, e.g. Dictatorship [The Humans that played god were people that were exiled by the country for committing a serious crime: They commenced the meltdown of a Nuclear Power Plant in order to cover their evidences of embezzlement and other humanitarian crimes, causing a huge part of Singapore to become unlivable for decades. They were ministers of the UN.].

Perhaps it might make a lot more sense if I wrote in the first chapter to both sides.

Chapter 0 [Alternate Reality]: The Prolouge to the Beginning - Ash Like Snow

Winter in Yakusoku was unbearable. The freezing wind bit into the lone girl walking along the now-deserted town square, devoid of the bustling life there once was. As she walked pass the Shrine of the Gods, she snarled. That Shrine is nothing but a figure of authority the gods have put here to control the Yousei, she thought. It was the case. The Shrine was built by a clan of chosen people called the "Shrine Keepers" who were nothing more than people after the power of the gods. When they were chosen, the gods bestowed them immense power and gave them free reign over the Yousei of Yakusoku. Just as she approached the end of the ancient stone-paved road she was walking on, she lifted her head, no more than a gesture of curiosity, to the luminous Moon, that radiant light, hung above in the heavens.

At that moment, the grand bell in the Shrine gave off a hollow, empty ringing sound that resonated through the whole of Yakusoku, from the mighty mountian ranges to the deepest of the Forests of Spirits. She merely so much as twitched as she turned around and saw a Yousei charge at her from behind. With a short chant, the card she held in her hand glimmered in the moonlight.

The radiance of the moon was the last sight the attacker saw.

"It's time. The Seisen has begun again."

The intricate dagger in her hand begun to fade away into nothing more than a glimmer of Stardust as she witnessed her defeated opponent fall limpedly to the hard, solid floor, the thud echoing through the air. The crimson-coloured ground soon faded back to the unforgiving shade of grey as the body of the life the girl had taken started to fade into the darkness. Looking back with so much a shred of remorse, she picked up the card beside the fading body.

"Count it on the misfortune of your birth."

The white snow was the last of the innocence that still existed of the girl, as she walked into the horizon, fading into the white darkness the snow created.

The ash that is snow.

Now, for the {Real World} side of the story:
Chapter 0: [REALITY] The opposite of a Lack Of Common Sense

The bedsheets were carelessly flung to the ground as a person awoke lazily. Reaching for his phone by instinct, the figer slid across the screen, silencing the alarm. Long, silky black hair flowed down said person's back, even lower than his shoulders were. As the hands rubbed the eyes, the vision of the room became clearer. The eyelids fluttered open as said person walked down the stairs. The stone-cold ground stung his feet, however he was used to the stinging sensation. Stumbling around the house, the hands finally found the knob of the washroom. Ambling in, the hands soon turned on the tap. The cool water rushed through his hands and he ran his wet hands over his face and hair.

The cold water is stinging, but at least it keeps me awake...

He did a quick wash-up, and primped himself in the mirror, slowly collecting his hair in his hands and tying them up with a ribbon. Reaching for the closet outside the washrooom, he changed into his perfectly creaseless uniform and affixed the school tie to complete the deed. Finding his student pass, he reached for the keys put conveniently at the side of the basin and walked out of the room. He was used to skipping breakfast and living on his own since his parents were dead in an accident 10 years ago. Glacing briefly at the photograph that was already yellow on the edges, he allowed himself as to so much smirk a little as he eyed his parents in the photograph. With a click, the door opened and he began his long journey to school.

Lefford Institution was the words that appeared on the collar-pin of Issu Ryuusei, as he stood outside the gates of the school. With his trademark smirk, Luluche was more than ready to hit him across the face, though he'd rather not, as it would only dirty his hands.

My my... isn't it my best friend Luluche-hime! Now, come here, my princess...
Shut up.
Why should I? Now, let me check your attire.
You being the student council leader does not make you not have to listen to me.

Luluche swallowed his rage as he bore with his friend fingering with his attire. He knew he was going to mess up his attire to get him in trouble again.

Well, well... no contraband items, no uniform mistakes... Just like a model student!

Allowing himself to twitch so much as in suprise, he replied in a manner with more annoyance than anger.

Now, will you let me pass?

Well, I would have... Issei counted under his breath... 1, 2, 3...Ding! You are late! Sorry, no can do.

Issei shrugged nonchalently, in such a way that Luluche almost wanted to unleash all his bottled-up rage on him right now.

At least three hours of talk was all was required of with the principal before he could regain freedom.


Now, I intend to tie in the two sides somehow, but yeah.
Can someone just give me an idea about how he got sent on a plane to that academy in the first place... I cannot figure...
Also, please help me... I am not sure where, but some parts of my plot does not make sense somehow... I just cannot pinpoint it...

And if you need the character list just gimme a shout. Thanks!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: duocean on January 07, 2013, 10:17:44 AM
Hi everyone, i can see thing in here quite in heat. Anyway, though i'm new here, i'm not new to touhou stuff. So reading through 9 pages is well...silly (pun intended) so i though i post some of my idea here. I have a lot for myself actually, most of them are ongoing and none of them is done, but i say i'm quite proud of it.
This is two of my newest idea, my apologize if it seem familiar or look like any previous post.

I love Ruukoto and i though of a story to explain her absence in the later touhou game: the story go mainly like this:
After a while of living together, Reimu finally has spark a little love for Ruukoto, but thing just ain't go their way, a new incident happen i though it could be an ancient ruin that waking up after some kind of trigger and endangered Gensoukyou. Reimu and corp. now have Ruukoto together solve this incident, in the end, Ruukoto has to sacrifice herself because only her nuclear bomb could clear the entire ruin which is the only way to end this envasion. This story also explain why Reimu become emotionless and her motivation to create the spell card rule. For time line, it best around after mystic square or between DIm.Dream and lotucland story.

My other idea is well, Reimu and Marisa never get out of Makai, after the team successfully seal Makai forever, Yuuka die because of the seal, Mima have to seal the Grimoire of Alice with her Body, and the main couple become the seal themselves . Their body now preserve by the Makai God Shinki but their mind keep dreaming , and they dream about everything from The Red Mist incident to Seireisen.

These two are totally new and only the concept was done, i haven't even start writing anything of it yet.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: InfernalExuro on January 08, 2013, 12:43:43 PM
All of my time spent doing mind-numbing things at work has given me plenty of time to dream up bits and pieces of different ideas... the execution of said ideas, however, is what kinda holds me back from actually putting them together into something cohesive. For example, I have a whole plotline that I've cobbled together of a Fallout crossover from the POV of a particularly unlucky merc spirited away to Gensokyo. Sure, it might sound a bit :V-inducing, but I swear it doesn't sound too bad in my head.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ShiningBind on January 22, 2013, 08:11:48 AM
Hey there everyone. I've been writing fanfics for quite some time. I've decided that I want to write an official touhou fanbook .
Much in the way that Perfect Memento covers the characters themselves and Grimoire of Marisa Covered the spell cards, I want to write something that covers the items and treasures used by the girls. I've committed a lot of research into the subject. I'd like for you guys to take a look at the list. feel free to scrutinize it as hard as possible. I'd like for it to be as accurate as it can be. once the list is finalized, I'll start writing the book
Also, if anyone is simply curious about my new endeavor, feel free to ask whatever you want.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A

1)    Alice Margatroid-Shanghai
                                      -Hourai
                                      -Goliath Doll
2)    Aya Shameimaru-Tengu Fan
                                       -Camera

B

3)    Byakuren Hijiri-Air Scroll of St. Nidou
                                  -Sorcorer's Sutra Scroll

C

4)    Chiyuri Kitashirakawa-Pistol (not too amazing but to see a pistol in gensokyo is quite rare)


E

5)    Eirin Yagokoro-Bow (fairly certain it has a name)
6)    Elly-Crooked Scythe
7)    Elis-practice wand

F

8)    Flandre Scarlet-Leavantein

H

9)    Hatate Himekaidou-Cell Phone Camera

I

10)    Iku Nagae-Shawl (fairly certain it has an actual name)
                            -Dress (fairly certain it has an actual name)

K

11)    Kaguya Houraisan-Dragon's Necklace
                     -Swallow's Cowrie Shell
                     -Hourai Branch
                     -Fire Rat's Robe
                     -Buddha's Stone Bowl
12)    Kasen Ibara- Maybe (her left are seems to hold some external ability to exterminate youkai. further research is nessesary)
13)    Kisume-Bucket (listed for sake of research, highly doubtful she?ll make it into the book at all)
14)    Koishi Komeiji-Thrid Eye
15)    Kanako Yasaka- Shimenawa
16)    Komachi Onozuka-Schyth of the Shinigami
                                           -Nice Boat

L

17)    Lunasa Prismriver-Viola
18)    Lyrica Prismriver-Keyboard

M

19)    Marisa Kirisame-Mini Hakkero
                                       -Broom
                                       -Vine Wand (she seemed to carry in TH2)

20)    Merlin Prismriver-Trumpet
21)    Minamitsu Murasa-Anchor
                                         -Hishaku purification Ladle
22)    Momiji Inubashiri-Sword (pretty sure it had a name)
                                          -Shield (pretty sure it had a name)
23)    Mononobe no Futo-Nice boat
24)     Meira-katana (highly doubt she?ll make the cut. Simply too little info on her)
25)     Mima- lunar septer

N

26)    Nazrin-Dousing Rods
                     -Pagoda
                     -Dousing Prisms
27)    Nitori Kawashiro-Nionic AAAAAAARM
                      -Hisouten Soku(?)
                      -Optical Camouflage Suit

28)    Nue Houjuu-Seeds of non identification
                                 -Trident (could be the lodgelis spear. more research is required)
                                 -bow of yorimasa genzanmi


P

29)    Patchouli Knowledge-Grimoures
                                               -Philosopher stone

R

30)    Reimu Hakurei-Gouhei
                                    -Yin-Yang Orbs
31)    Reisen U. Inaba-Lunar Veil
32)    Remilia Scarlet-Gugnir (?)
33)    Rin Kaenbyou-Wheelbarrow (pretty sure it had a name)
34)    Rike-Magitanks
                 -Evil Eye Sigma
S

35)    Sakuya Izayoi-Knives
                                  -Luna Dial
36)    Sanae Kochiya-Gouhei
37)    Satori Komeiji-Third Eye
38)    Shikieiki Yamaxanadu-Rod of Remourse
                                                 -Mirror
39)    Shou Toramaru-Jeweled Pagoda of Bishotamon
                                      -Giant spear
40)    Suika Ibuki-Oni Binding Chains
                            -Ibuki Gourd
41)    Suwako Moriya-Moriya Iron Ring

T

42)    Tenshi Hinanawi-Sword of Scarlet Percetion
43)    Toyosatomimi no Miko

U

44)    Utsuho Reiuji-Yata Mirror 
                                  -Control Rod

Y

45)     Youmu Konpaku-Hakurouken
                                         -Roukanken
46)     Yukari Yakumo-Umbrella
47)     Yuuka Kazami-Umbrella
48)     Yuyuko Saigyouji-Fans
49)     Yumeko-Throwing Swords (because knives just arent enough)
50)     Yuugi Hoshigami- Oni Binding Chains
                                          -Sake cup
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on January 23, 2013, 02:24:51 AM
Are you including PC-98 characters? Because I'm confused seeing Chiyuri there but no Yumemi.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ShiningBind on January 23, 2013, 02:47:46 AM
I don't know really. I I do want to include the 98 characters, but I'm uncertain how much hard research can be done on them. little is know of their personalities or even what Items they wield. I could certainly write about the ship she came in on. but to be honest, I've not been able to dig up too much about her "artificial magic" though it does stand to reason to be created by some scientific gadget or do-dad.
either way she is one who needs be revisited. and to answer your question, yes, I'd like very much to write about the PC98 characters provided enough info can be dug up.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: GunnerReisen on January 23, 2013, 03:09:40 AM
Has anyone heard of a "MST" or "spooning" of a fanfic? It's basically making fun of things, like a commentary. I was thinking of making one with some Touhou characters riffing fanfic requests or just fanfics I find. However, the main problem is...

Who are gonna be the main three?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on January 23, 2013, 04:44:32 AM
Has anyone heard of a "MST" or "spooning" of a fanfic? It's basically making fun of things, like a commentary. I was thinking of making one with some Touhou characters riffing fanfic requests or just fanfics I find. However, the main problem is...

Who are gonna be the main three?
There are some pretty good trios that could be used. Some I can think of off the top of my head:
Reimu, Marisa, and Sanae (or Sakuya if you want to go more old school)
Kanako, Suwako, and Sanae
Aya, Hatate, and Momizi
Kaguya, Eirin, and Reisen (or Tewi)
Remi, Patchurry, and Sakuya
Tojiko, Futo, and Miko
Yuyuko, Yukari, and Youmu and/or Ran
Satori, Rin, and Utsuho
Yorihime, Toyohime, and Reisen II
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ShiningBind on January 23, 2013, 05:53:21 AM
As far as the completeness of the list goes, does anyone see any holes to fill or additions to make? Things to edit or anything? Id like it to stand a bit of scrutiny before I go ti writing
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: nanashinoname on January 23, 2013, 06:22:23 AM
Has anyone heard of a "MST" or "spooning" of a fanfic? It's basically making fun of things, like a commentary. I was thinking of making one with some Touhou characters riffing fanfic requests or just fanfics I find. However, the main problem is...

Who are gonna be the main three?
I'm not really familiar with those but based on what you said and what I understood and assumed, I'll throw you the first trio came to me. Satori, Okuu, and Rin/Koishi.
You can use Satori with a running gag where she says what the author was thinking when he/she wrote that certain line you found hilarious, disgusting, etc.
A fanon moron like Okuu sounds nice for kicks like how she doesn't find anything wrong with this or that. Also Boke.
Rin seems like she'd make a good tsukkomi and having a "neutral" might be useful.
You can make Koishi someone who closed her third eye after "reading" too many lazy/ridiculous/weak fanfics.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: GunnerReisen on January 23, 2013, 10:55:20 PM
As far as the completeness of the list goes, does anyone see any holes to fill or additions to make? Things to edit or anything? Id like it to stand a bit of scrutiny before I go ti writing
I wouldn't mind at least you giving the 98 characters a nod or something.

Lmao, thanks for the idea guys. So far I like the Aya, Hatate, and Momizi, Satori, Rin, and Utsuho, Yuyuko, Yukari, and Youmu, and the Kanako, Suwako, and Sanae teams. Gotta chose between those then... hmmm...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on January 23, 2013, 11:42:33 PM
Has anyone heard of a "MST" or "spooning" of a fanfic?
As a side note, we've had issue with "spoonings" in the past.  It might be wise to do it offsite then host like with other borderline fics.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: GunnerReisen on January 24, 2013, 12:01:00 AM
As a side note, we've had issue with "spoonings" in the past.  It might be wise to do it offsite then host like with other borderline fics.
Hm~? Well, may I at least know why?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on January 24, 2013, 12:15:06 AM
Hm~? Well, may I at least know why?
Firstly, we do not want PSL to be involved in a dispute between two authors or communities.  In addition previously it devolved to a series of bad jokes in bad taste surrounded by bad fic.  While I'm not saying it's forbidden (we've had it done successfully before as well) it would be better done off site and linked to on PSL.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Moerin on January 24, 2013, 12:18:24 AM
Hmmm, so... Admittedly it's been a while since I've been in this part of the forums, but I had this concept for a story that I actually really want to write.  Even actually drew up some concept art of the main character, ahah~  But, um... I'm still not entirely sure if it's a good idea or not... Also, it's an original work completely unconnected to Touhou, and I can't remember if it's okay to discuss ideas and concepts about stuff like this here or now, so, um... Yeah. >.<
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on January 24, 2013, 12:22:15 AM
Hmmm, so... Admittedly it's been a while since I've been in this part of the forums, but I had this concept for a story that I actually really want to write.  Even actually drew up some concept art of the main character, ahah~  But, um... I'm still not entirely sure if it's a good idea or not... Also, it's an original work completely unconnected to Touhou, and I can't remember if it's okay to discuss ideas and concepts about stuff like this here or now, so, um... Yeah. >.<
*Throws a pokeball at the wild Moerin.*

You can ask questions about any story Touhou or non Touhou you want, though replies are as always highly variable.  Same with IRC.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Moerin on January 24, 2013, 12:53:33 AM
*Throws a pokeball at the wild Moerin.*

You can ask questions about any story Touhou or non Touhou you want, though replies are as always highly variable.  Same with IRC.
...I've not been away that long, right? >.<  ...Wait, I have.  Hurm.  Need to rectify that at some point.

Anyways, um... Okays, the idea.  I was thinking about how to put a fresh new spin on the magical girl genre, see, and I came up with this idea that... Basically boils down to magical girls meet Highlander with a card motif, but... Yeah.  The working title at the moment is "Trump Card", but we'll see how that goes.

The basic idea is that, every so and so years, a group of ten magical girls have a battle on Earth to decide who becomes the new ruler of the magical world.  The combatants are composed of eight "Face Cards" representing the suits of both a regular playing card deck and the Minor Arcana, who are sent from the magical world a few years before the battle, stripped of their powers until the battle begins, and made to live as mundane humans to help shape their mindsets for their potential future as "The World", the divinely powered and nigh-omnipotent ruler of the magical world; and two "Wild Cards" representing the Joker and the Fool, who are two randomly selected mundane humans from Earth who are pulled into the contest to fill out the numbers, add some variety and make things more interesting.  Whilst the battle technically isn't to the death, killing an opposing magical girl is generally considered the easiest way to succeed and isn't exactly frowned upon.

Enter our protagonist, designated as Ace of Spades, the Card of Death.  She's a strong, serious contender who has her mind set upon becoming The World, but she is also unwilling to kill her opponents; she believes that mercy is one of the most important qualities for a ruler.  The story would start as her powers were returning to her and the game was beginning, and would follow her on her quest to defeat her rivals in her attempt to become The World.  Throughout the story she would encounter and battle various other magical girls who have entered the contest for various reasons; some like her wish to become The World (although their motives for doing so might not be entirely pure), some simply wish to have a chance to prove their skills in combat, and some have been dragged in by a trick of fate or out of sheer desperation.

Whilst the set-up does give it the potential to go to some dark places, I'd hope that Ace's ideals and mindset would help keep the idealism that is a cornerstone of the magical girl genre everpresent; no matter how dark things get, there's always a light of hope to wash away the despair, after all.  Um... So yeah, it's just a rough thing at the moment, but as it turns out I really like this idea and was wondering if it's actually worth pursuing. >.<  So, um, does anyone think it sounds like a good idea, or have any criticisms they'd like to raise?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: GunnerReisen on January 24, 2013, 01:42:32 AM
Firstly, we do not want PSL to be involved in a dispute between two authors or communities.  In addition previously it devolved to a series of bad jokes in bad taste surrounded by bad fic.  While I'm not saying it's forbidden (we've had it done successfully before as well) it would be better done off site and linked to on PSL.
Unyuu~? Ohhh, I get what you mean.

Well, the way I do it is I usually do troll fics or ones where the author hasn't been seen since (ie My Immortal.) If I do find a bad fanfic, or just one I wanna riff, I try to contact the ones who wrote it. I just don't see fanfics and go "GIMME YO TYPES YIP YIP YAP." If that's what you're worried about.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on January 24, 2013, 02:05:15 AM
...I've not been away that long, right? >.<  ...Wait, I have.  Hurm.  Need to rectify that at some point.

Anyways, um... Okays, the idea.  I was thinking about how to put a fresh new spin on the magical girl genre, see, and I came up with this idea that... Basically boils down to magical girls meet Highlander with a card motif, but... Yeah.  The working title at the moment is "Trump Card", but we'll see how that goes.

The basic idea is that, every so and so years, a group of ten magical girls have a battle on Earth to decide who becomes the new ruler of the magical world.  The combatants are composed of eight "Face Cards" representing the suits of both a regular playing card deck and the Minor Arcana, who are sent from the magical world a few years before the battle, stripped of their powers until the battle begins, and made to live as mundane humans to help shape their mindsets for their potential future as "The World", the divinely powered and nigh-omnipotent ruler of the magical world; and two "Wild Cards" representing the Joker and the Fool, who are two randomly selected mundane humans from Earth who are pulled into the contest to fill out the numbers, add some variety and make things more interesting.  Whilst the battle technically isn't to the death, killing an opposing magical girl is generally considered the easiest way to succeed and isn't exactly frowned upon.

Enter our protagonist, designated as Ace of Spades, the Card of Death.  She's a strong, serious contender who has her mind set upon becoming The World, but she is also unwilling to kill her opponents; she believes that mercy is one of the most important qualities for a ruler.  The story would start as her powers were returning to her and the game was beginning, and would follow her on her quest to defeat her rivals in her attempt to become The World.  Throughout the story she would encounter and battle various other magical girls who have entered the contest for various reasons; some like her wish to become The World (although their motives for doing so might not be entirely pure), some simply wish to have a chance to prove their skills in combat, and some have been dragged in by a trick of fate or out of sheer desperation.

Whilst the set-up does give it the potential to go to some dark places, I'd hope that Ace's ideals and mindset would help keep the idealism that is a cornerstone of the magical girl genre everpresent; no matter how dark things get, there's always a light of hope to wash away the despair, after all.  Um... So yeah, it's just a rough thing at the moment, but as it turns out I really like this idea and was wondering if it's actually worth pursuing. >.<  So, um, does anyone think it sounds like a good idea, or have any criticisms they'd like to raise?
It sounds quite interesting.  Only question off the top of my head is how the imported magical girls are fit in (foster family or what) and why there are gaps in the arcana (other then for sanity I suppose).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: GunnerReisen on January 24, 2013, 03:17:32 AM
Have Judgement be in there as a boss or something. /bad ideas
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Moerin on January 24, 2013, 07:43:06 AM
It sounds quite interesting.  Only question off the top of my head is how the imported magical girls are fit in (foster family or what) and why there are gaps in the arcana (other then for sanity I suppose).
The first point is something I still need to figure out, yeah.  As for the second one, I kind of decided that the Major Arcana (aside from The Fool) were more like some kind of pantheon for the magical world (Death 13 being some kind of psychopomp for magical girls, for example), although that's probably mostly so that I can still include them in some way without overloading myself with magical girls, ahah~

Hmmm... Might actually try to get this to work, then...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ShiningBind on January 25, 2013, 12:08:36 AM
so.............. I guess the list looks good?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: GunnerReisen on January 27, 2013, 07:01:57 PM
So far I've watered it down to the teams of: Aya, Hatate, and Momizi
or
Satori, Rin, and Utsuho

Which sounds better?

EDIT: Scratch that, I have a better idea. Hopefully the first fanfic-mocking will be up soon this week.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jmyster on March 26, 2013, 11:56:54 PM
Question on protocol: Do you think it's better to wait until you have a few chapters completed (for largers fics) before posting a topic? I've got the prologue done for a little project of mine (rock-stupid Mary-Sue protagonist gets stripped of all powers and rebanished to Gensoukyou, hilarity ensues), but I'm not sure whether to post it yet.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Alfred F. Jones on April 05, 2013, 05:12:26 PM
Question on protocol: Do you think it's better to wait until you have a few chapters completed (for largers fics) before posting a topic? I've got the prologue done for a little project of mine (rock-stupid Mary-Sue protagonist gets stripped of all powers and rebanished to Gensoukyou, hilarity ensues), but I'm not sure whether to post it yet.
I am late to answering this because you've already put that fic up, but I'm gonna post anyway because I know I've been asked this question before.

It's all up to you! Personally I only really get my writing underway after I've posted the beginning in public and now have peer pressure to keep me going. >_> But I know some people like to have several chapters already written so they can keep a certain distance between what's been posted and the latest chapter that's up.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on April 07, 2013, 10:24:18 AM
While I'm a newbie to the shrinemaiden, I've been writing a fanfic for about 3 years. And during the course of those years, I've come to all sorts of obstacles that I had to deal with. Sticking to canon closely and introducing new elements that don't contradict established canon has been my objective, but nobody and nothing is perfect and therefore, I have made several slips (both intentional and unintentional).
However, my greatest dilemma came about when I had planned occasions where the Spell Card rules would be ignored and serious old-fashioned danmaku battles would ensue. With Reimu being traditionally one of the main heroines, this would indeed be a problem to portray in a believable fashion. Why? Basically due to her broken ability to float away from reality, A.K.A. Hax Sign "You Just Plain F**king Lose!" While there are multitudes of characters with "broken" abilities in Touhou universe and many battles would be decided simply by who would use their power first, Reimu's power literally makes all other characters' powers obsolete when such a clash would occur. And for the sake of making the story actually interesting instead of Reimu just going god-mode, I was coerced to apply some serious nerfing to our lovely miko. (I've done so by giving Fantasy Heaven/Nature (depending on translation) a time limit. A much longer time limit than any Spell Card you face in the games, but it's still a significant limitation). Even now I feel a bit iffy about this decision. Now, technically there are a few characters who could end up in an eternal stalemate if they were fighting seriously against a serious Reimu, but I think ZUN went a bit overboard when he gave her a power that could literally make her a God (with capital "G") and she could toggle it on and off on a whim and for as long as she wants. And what's more, she didn't have to do a thing to gain it. She simply has it, because she's a Hakurei, unlike Marisa, who had to work hard and study hard to get to her current level. Characters with plot armor are really hard to work with, if one plans on keeping them interesting without throwing canon out of the window.  Even funnier is, when plot-armored characters clash (as seen in SSiB). But assuming Reimu's non-Spell Card Fantasy Heaven is perfect as ZUN implies, she could take on all of Gensokyo, all the gods and all Lunarian civilization by herself and rule the known universe as a deity. Even if they all attacked her simultaneously. If she were to ever become a villain, the world would end.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing this all... Perhaps I just wanted someone's opinion about the way I nerfed Reimu. Is nerfing really necessary? Or is there some other way around it, while still making things interesting? Has anyone else here had a similar problem? Does anyone think that trying to stick to canon in fanfiction is a fool's quest? Please, let me know.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hoshiguma-douji on April 18, 2013, 07:14:43 PM
While I'm a newbie to the shrinemaiden, I've been writing a fanfic for about 3 years. And during the course of those years, I've come to all sorts of obstacles that I had to deal with. Sticking to canon closely and introducing new elements that don't contradict established canon has been my objective, but nobody and nothing is perfect and therefore, I have made several slips (both intentional and unintentional).
However, my greatest dilemma came about when I had planned occasions where the Spell Card rules would be ignored and serious old-fashioned danmaku battles would ensue. With Reimu being traditionally one of the main heroines, this would indeed be a problem to portray in a believable fashion. Why? Basically due to her broken ability to float away from reality, A.K.A. Hax Sign "You Just Plain F**king Lose!" While there are multitudes of characters with "broken" abilities in Touhou universe and many battles would be decided simply by who would use their power first, Reimu's power literally makes all other characters' powers obsolete when such a clash would occur. And for the sake of making the story actually interesting instead of Reimu just going god-mode, I was coerced to apply some serious nerfing to our lovely miko. (I've done so by giving Fantasy Heaven/Nature (depending on translation) a time limit. A much longer time limit than any Spell Card you face in the games, but it's still a significant limitation). Even now I feel a bit iffy about this decision. Now, technically there are a few characters who could end up in an eternal stalemate if they were fighting seriously against a serious Reimu, but I think ZUN went a bit overboard when he gave her a power that could literally make her a God (with capital "G") and she could toggle it on and off on a whim and for as long as she wants. And what's more, she didn't have to do a thing to gain it. She simply has it, because she's a Hakurei, unlike Marisa, who had to work hard and study hard to get to her current level. Characters with plot armor are really hard to work with, if one plans on keeping them interesting without throwing canon out of the window.  Even funnier is, when plot-armored characters clash (as seen in SSiB). But assuming Reimu's non-Spell Card Fantasy Heaven is perfect as ZUN implies, she could take on all of Gensokyo, all the gods and all Lunarian civilization by herself and rule the known universe as a deity. Even if they all attacked her simultaneously. If she were to ever become a villain, the world would end.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing this all... Perhaps I just wanted someone's opinion about the way I nerfed Reimu. Is nerfing really necessary? Or is there some other way around it, while still making things interesting? Has anyone else here had a similar problem? Does anyone think that trying to stick to canon in fanfiction is a fool's quest? Please, let me know.

YES, I have had this issue, which is mainly why I never write Reimu being perfect. xD I think that fanfiction get so far from cannon that it's really hard to do as of now, but if anyone can get it, I'd love to see it.

My suggestion? Focus on the imperfect characters. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it's not; Reimu is the main character, so naturally she'd have the most work done on her. Be unique. Give some love to someone out there who hasn't been loved.

That sounded wrong, but you know what I mean.

Hmm...another idea is to have Reimu mess up at something and actually have her have to work for it. Her struggle could work as a plot, yeah?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on April 18, 2013, 08:02:28 PM
Ah, I already thought I posted in a dead thread.

Quote
My suggestion? Focus on the imperfect characters. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it's not; Reimu is the main character, so naturally she'd have the most work done on her. Be unique. Give some love to someone out there who hasn't been loved.

Such was my intention. While I won't deny Reimu her status as the main incident-resolver, in this particular incident, she is going to get and need a lot of support of a lot of different characters. (don't want to spoil too much) She cannot solve it with her notorious luck and intuition alone. Who knows... Maybe in time I'll even figure out a plot excuse to disable her the use of her "cheat" power.  As for other characters who don't get as much "love" in touhou fanfics, it's going to be a challenge as well. I am well aware that with over 80+ canon characters and with about 20+ OCs, it's impossible to spread the "screentime" among all of them fairly. If I was writing a fic about only a small group of characters, like Team 9, for example, that would be so much easier. Maybe in my next work... If there will be any.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hoshiguma-douji on April 18, 2013, 10:30:36 PM
I think that both should work nicely. I tend to use a small circle of characters in my fics, but I still really want to see how this plays out. Could you at least spoil which characters you intend on using? xD
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on April 18, 2013, 10:42:10 PM
For Reimu's support or for the fic as whole?
Reimu shall be supported by her usual acquaintences and some unlikely ones too. I'm trying to re-beta-read all the chapters so I could post them here 1 per day, so if you're interested, you'll find out soon enough.
As for the grand scheme of things, I had a daring objective to feature all of the canon cast. Some are the "main" ones, some are supporting, and some only make minor cameo appearances. I'm not sure if I'll manage this, but the story is far from finished, so anything can happen yet...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on April 30, 2013, 04:53:13 PM
While I'm a newbie to the shrinemaiden, I've been writing a fanfic for about 3 years. And during the course of those years, I've come to all sorts of obstacles that I had to deal with. Sticking to canon closely and introducing new elements that don't contradict established canon has been my objective, but nobody and nothing is perfect and therefore, I have made several slips (both intentional and unintentional).
However, my greatest dilemma came about when I had planned occasions where the Spell Card rules would be ignored and serious old-fashioned danmaku battles would ensue. With Reimu being traditionally one of the main heroines, this would indeed be a problem to portray in a believable fashion. Why? Basically due to her broken ability to float away from reality, A.K.A. Hax Sign "You Just Plain F**king Lose!" While there are multitudes of characters with "broken" abilities in Touhou universe and many battles would be decided simply by who would use their power first, Reimu's power literally makes all other characters' powers obsolete when such a clash would occur. And for the sake of making the story actually interesting instead of Reimu just going god-mode, I was coerced to apply some serious nerfing to our lovely miko. (I've done so by giving Fantasy Heaven/Nature (depending on translation) a time limit. A much longer time limit than any Spell Card you face in the games, but it's still a significant limitation). Even now I feel a bit iffy about this decision. Now, technically there are a few characters who could end up in an eternal stalemate if they were fighting seriously against a serious Reimu, but I think ZUN went a bit overboard when he gave her a power that could literally make her a God (with capital "G") and she could toggle it on and off on a whim and for as long as she wants. And what's more, she didn't have to do a thing to gain it. She simply has it, because she's a Hakurei, unlike Marisa, who had to work hard and study hard to get to her current level. Characters with plot armor are really hard to work with, if one plans on keeping them interesting without throwing canon out of the window.  Even funnier is, when plot-armored characters clash (as seen in SSiB). But assuming Reimu's non-Spell Card Fantasy Heaven is perfect as ZUN implies, she could take on all of Gensokyo, all the gods and all Lunarian civilization by herself and rule the known universe as a deity. Even if they all attacked her simultaneously. If she were to ever become a villain, the world would end.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing this all... Perhaps I just wanted someone's opinion about the way I nerfed Reimu. Is nerfing really necessary? Or is there some other way around it, while still making things interesting? Has anyone else here had a similar problem? Does anyone think that trying to stick to canon in fanfiction is a fool's quest? Please, let me know.

"Nerfing"? Don't think it as "nerfing". Ignore those people who keep telling you that the Touhous are absolutely unbeatable and shit. And if they're angry with you for doing that while bringing up canon as "proof", just laugh at them. Say that you're doing ZUN a favor for fixing his own screwed-up canon.

And I agree with you giving a time limit. It's really draining on her energy after all. No one has limitless energy, no one.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on April 30, 2013, 07:35:43 PM
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No one has limitless energy, no one.

Canonically, Reimu has it. Otherwise there wouldn't be "no one could beat her by any method" in IN's description of Fantasy Heaven. It's NOT fair, yes, but in canon ZUN can get away with it, because everyone fights by the Spell Card rules anyway, which forbid the use of one's full power. The result is a survival Spell Card with a time limit of 45 seconds. The Watatsukis? ZUN gets away with them by not putting them in a game. He can make OP characters work, but only within a system of his established rules. And if these rules are thrown away, then problems arise.
Nobody's telling me to hold hold onto canon if I don't like it; it's my own preference. I just don't always share ZUN's viewpoints.

Actually, Reimu's invincibility would explain a lot about the fact that she was able to beat countless of overpowered youkai, ghosts, gods and humans and live to tell the tale. At least before the rules were established. And how she managed to get the youkai to accept the Spell Card System. Only by being more powerful than everyone else. But of course, in PC-98, you have to still battle everyone the hard way. Some might argue that Reimu hadn't developed her powers in that era, as it's an ability to "float", which she didn't learn until EoSD, when she was able to fly without Genji's help. But then again, ZUN told his fans to disregard the PC-98 games just as other derivative works, so a large percentage of Touhou fans don't even consider PC-98 era as part of Touhou canon. Probably ZUN's old shame. Probably he'll feel the same way about some aspects of his Widnows games...
In fanfics, doujins and other non-canon works, we are free to recreate the universe, but the more alterations we make to the original, the more risks we're taking that our work will not be accepted well. I already made my alterations to canon as I saw fit. Even canon has its own contradictions, so I've been told to take it with a grain of salt. But the uneasy feeling whenever I blatantly go against canon is still there. I even had an urge to write a fic that would screw canon as much as possible.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 02, 2013, 01:36:12 PM
Canonically, Reimu has it. Otherwise there wouldn't be "no one could beat her by any method" in IN's description of Fantasy Heaven.

That's just hyperbole (or it can be read as "no one could defeat her when it's active")

Besides, it's not like you can't just defeat her before she has a chance to use that.

And we're getting close to powerlevel debates here so let's just drop this, shall we?

but the more alterations we make to the original, the more risks we're taking that our work will not be accepted well.

Not necessarily. Case in point, IM or Chado's works.

Besides, sticking too close to canon can make a very boring story, since ZUN sets it up so that no Touhou can ever actually get harmed or injured for real.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 02, 2013, 05:09:30 PM
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That's just hyperbole (or it can be read as "no one could defeat her when it's active")

Unfortunately, it says: "If it wasn't just for play (with time limit), no one could beat her by any method." dismissing that possibility. Now I really don't want to start a powerlevel debate and get banned. I'll agree that she can be defeated before she gets to use it. Like I said earlier, without the rules, many battles would be decided simply by who would use their power sooner. Time stop - instant win. Invitation to death - instant win. Fate hack - instant win. Flandre's power - instant win. Boundary hack - instant win. Immortality - win by default. And Reimu's Fantasy Heaven is her ultimate trump card.

Everyone's defeatable, but ZUN is throwing some logs under our feet by declarations such as the one describing Fantasy Heaven or his addition in SoPM interview that the Watatsuki's are literally untouchable by anyone from Gensokyo. By refusing to put them into a game, he basically declares that even with the implication of Spell Card rules, which should give everyone a chance to win, the two sisters would still be unbeatable. And that's where canon begins to contradict itself. Reimu didn't even use her Fantasy Heaven against Yurihime. Instead, she decided to have a god-summoning contest with her. A skill she was only a beginner at.  If Reimu wanted to win at all costs it would be basically a case of "unstoppable force hitting an immovable object." Sakuya basically had her, she held a knife at her neck, but didn't finish her, because she knew that Remilia wanted to be the one to beat her. And that was her mistake. Remilia also had her in a pinch, but when she downed her, she ceased her attack and began taunting her, giving Yorihime a chance to think of the right god to do the job for her.  I think ZUN could put them into games if he wanted to, but he does not.

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Not necessarily. Case in point, IM or Chado's works.

I said it was a risk. Not that it necessarily dooms the fic to be a failure.

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Besides, sticking too close to canon can make a very boring story, since ZUN sets it up so that no Touhou can ever actually get harmed or injured for real.

And this is what I disagree with. Canon =/= boring. Otherwise, nobody would play the games or read ZUN's works and build a fandom around it. Just because nobody dies in canon doesn't make it uninteresting. It would be boring if the fic was basically a retelling of a game with no new elements to add to the original story.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 03, 2013, 09:21:33 AM
And this is what I disagree with. Canon =/= boring. Otherwise, nobody would play the games or read ZUN's works and build a fandom around it. Just because nobody dies in canon doesn't make it uninteresting. It would be boring if the fic was basically a retelling of a game with no new elements to add to the original story.

Honestly, the fandom exists mostly because of the cute characters, not for the story. Touhou's story is quite lacking after all, just like you have demonstrated.

And people play the games because they're good shmup. Since when people play shmup for the plot? They're not RPGs (and even our fan RPGs mostly have shallow plots).

And what I mean by "obeying canon makes a bore of a story" is that obeying canon steers fics to the "cute girls doing hijinks (plus an OC) " territory. They try to be like the mangas but utterly failing at it.

And it's nigh-impossible to create serious works where there's an actual threat to Gensokyo without breaking canon. If not the spellcard rule, the overpowered abilities of the Touhous.

I think most Touhou fanworks that I like ignore the two, and I've yet to really like a work in which they're brought to the front.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 03, 2013, 11:35:12 AM
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this all... Perhaps I just wanted someone's opinion about the way I nerfed Reimu. Is nerfing really necessary? Or is there some other way around it, while still making things interesting?

"Nerfing" Reimu by directly weakening her powers might be a little tricky; some fans (though not all fans) might get upset if you tweak canon in a haphazard fashion. That said, if you do it right and do it in a way that makes sense, you probably won't piss too many people off.

Some potential explanations for why Reimu got nerfed:

It turns out that Reimu draws her power from an external source (the Gensokyo border, the god(s) of Hakurei shrine, her yin-yang orbs, etc.), and that external source was destroyed or weakened in some way.

The Hakurei god(s) finally got fed up with her chronic impiety and cursed her.

Yukari warped the border between "floating" and "not-floating".

Eirin's shady new drug

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Does anyone think that trying to stick to canon in fanfiction is a fool's quest? Please, let me know.

Derivative works--whether it be film, or fiction writing, or comics, or what have you--must always play a balancing game. One one hand, you have adherence to canon; on the other hand, you have deviations from canon.

If you adhere too closely to canon, then the question becomes: why I am I reading/watching this when I could basically just read/watch the original thing again? If there's so little difference between what you're making and the work it's deriving from, why are you creating it in the first place?

If you deviate too much from canon, then the question becomes: why are you even associating your work with the thing you're supposedly deriving from? Why call it a Touhou fic at all?

So depending on your definition of "sticking to canon"--yes, sticking to canon can be a fool's errand. People have certain expectations when they read derivative works, since they typically come to experience derivative works after having read or watched the thing it's deriving from first. In their mind, Reimu behaves like ___, Marisa looks like ____, danmaku battles work like ____, and so forth. Play with those expectations too much, and people start getting too distracted by questions like, "Wait, is this really Reimu?" or, " Hey, the Reimu I know doesn't act like that!" This does not mean, however, that you're forbidden from telling stories that play with those expectations somehow.

I suppose what's more important that sticking to canon is having a good understanding of it, and from there crafting stories that fit  a particular vision or interpretation of the canon (or perhaps the opposite: take up an interpretation that fits with a particular story that you want to tell).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 03, 2013, 12:19:33 PM
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If you deviate too much from canon, then the question becomes: why are you even associating your work with the thing you're supposedly deriving from? Why call it a Touhou fic at all?

There is a big difference between creating original elements into an existing setting that do not contradict the canon and blatantly walking over canon with a "screw you, ZUN" attitude. For instance, giving Utsuho the ability to control water or making Akyuu give birth to herself, or killing an immortal being. By sticking close to canon I meant also using original elements, but such elements that would make actual sense in the canonical setting. Filling the blanks instead of erasing and rewriting canon.

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That said, if you do it right and do it in a way that makes sense, you probably won't piss too many people off.

I figured as much. The question is: "How?"

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Eirin's shady new drug

Yeah. Let's not forget about Moriya Shrine conspiracy  :D
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 04, 2013, 03:05:54 AM
I figured as much. The question is: "How?"

My suggestion:

Research Touhou lore. Read the wiki (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Touhou_Wiki), read the supplemental comics (Strange and Bright Nature Deity (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/touhou-sangetsusei-strange-and-bright-nature-deity-r2277), Oriental Sacred Place (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/touhou-sangetsusei-oriental-sacred-place-r2288), Eastern and Little Nature Deity (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/touhou-sangetsusei-eastern-and-little-nature-deity-r2276), Silent Sinner in Blue (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/touhou-bougetsushou-silent-sinner-in-blue-r2282), Forbidden Scrollery (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/touhou-suzunaan-forbidden-scrollery-r7266), Wild and Horned Hermit (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/touhou-ibarakasen-wild-and-horned-hermit-r2307)), read the dialogue scripts in the games, read the game endings (http://touhouendings.wikkii.com/wiki/Main_Page), read the supplemental stories (Cage in Lunatic Runagate (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Cage_in_Lunatic_Runagate), Bohemian Archive in Japanese Red (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Bohemian_Archive_in_Japanese_Red), Perfect Memento in Strict Sense (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Perfect_Memento_in_Strict_Sense), Symposium of Post-Mysticism (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Symposium_of_Post-mysticism), Curiosities of Lotus Asia (http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Curiosities_of_Lotus_Asia)). 

Once you've familiarized yourself with the majority of the body of Touhou lore, come up with interpretations of information you've gathered on that lore. As long as you've got a decent grasp of the characters you're writing and know the basics of Touhou metaphysics, you probably needn't worry too much about things making sense; as long as your knowledge base is similar to that of your audience, and as long as you don't interpret that knowledge in really bizarre ways, the stuff you come up with ought to be sensible enough so that no one except for total stick-up-their ass readers will howl for your blood for canon violations or similar mistakes.

As you said yourself, fill in the gaps in the canon. If you understand the canon lore, the methods you use to fill in those gaps will make sense to your readers.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 04, 2013, 10:12:23 AM
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Research Touhou lore. Read the wiki, read the supplemental comics (Strange and Bright Nature Deity, Oriental Sacred Place, Eastern and Little Nature Deity, Silent Sinner in Blue, Forbidden Scrollery, Wild and Horned Hermit), read the dialogue scripts in the games, read the game endings, read the supplemental stories (Cage in Lunatic Runagate, Bohemian Archive in Japanese Red, Perfect Memento in Strict Sense, Symposium of Post-Mysticism, Curiosities of Lotus Asia).

With the exception of Touhou Sangetsusei and CoLA, I've read it all. There are just some things that are hard to get around. And no information provided in the said sources is of any help in certain cases.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 04, 2013, 12:10:14 PM
If the canon has nothing to say about the matter, then it sounds to me that you've simply got more room to work with. If you're as familiar with canon as you say you are, then honestly any decent explanation you come up with for yourself will probably work--if the thing that nerfs Reimu makes sense to you, then it'll probably make sense to us.

I know the above sounds vague and unhelpful, but you may be worrying too much about the details here. If you're familiar with the canon, then you ought to have an innate sense of what sort of canon-gap filling things will "feel" right and what won't. As long as you don't directly contradict something glaring in the canon, it should be fine.

Some ideas for how to nerf Reimu:

The previous stuff I mentioned (Reimu's external power source is disrupted; the Hakurei god(s) curse her for her chronic impiety; Yukari's gap shenanigans) would work for me if I were reading (though Yukari's gap shenanigans might be bit of a cop out).

Instead of nerfing her directly, you could instead make it so that her god-mode ability is rendered meaningless, or otherwise less effective. For example, she might be invulnerable to anything while she's floating, but what if you take away her offensive options? Have someone steal her Yin Yang Orbs, have her lose her sealing amulets and her needles. Taking hostages could also work; Reimu is invincible, sure, but what about, say...Marisa? Or the Human Village? They certainly can't just float away from dangerous stuff.  Neutralizing Reimu before she can activate her powers is also a possibility; unless she's got her god-mode powers on constantly, an ambush or a sniper could probably hurt her before she becomes invincible.

A youkai (or whatever) trying to create an incident could also mislead Reimu to by herself time--Reimu's strong intuition would probably set her on the right path again before too long, but until then the antagonist could deceive her into being somewhere completely irrelevant. Or perhaps the antagonist's plan won't make itself clear until it's too late.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 04, 2013, 03:00:38 PM
The external source sounds plausible enough. Without nerfing, basically the only way to win agianst her would be by using underhand tactics, ambushes, backstabs, stealth assasination... etc.  I believe that's probably the way her clan got wiped out, if they possessed the same power as her. And the only reason Reimu didn't get killed in her sleep is due to the fear of the barrier's possible collapse.
Using Yukari as a reason for nerfing Reimu is out of the question due to plot reasons. Speaking of Yukari, she needs to be nerfed too. Very much so.
I've been considering the idea of hostages to keep Reimu's hax at bay, but in the end, I just might go with disabling the source of its power.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 05, 2013, 05:48:46 PM
For instance, giving Utsuho the ability to control water

I agree. That's dumb and totally out of the left field.

Then again, I've seen a fic where an author wanks Cirno so hard that she's not just able to use fire, she's actually the strongest being in existence since she's apparently some sort of ancient being or something.

No, that's not a crack fic. That's a completely serious fic.

or making Akyuu give birth to herself

Jesus, that's horrifying. It's like something out of a messed up doujin or something.

, or killing an immortal being.

You either have to nullify the effect of Hourai Elixir, or you use time travel to change history.

By sticking close to canon I meant also using original elements, but such elements that would make actual sense in the canonical setting. Filling the blanks instead of erasing and rewriting canon.

I agree.

Without nerfing, basically the only way to win agianst her would be by using underhand tactics, ambushes, backstabs, stealth assasination... etc.

Funny how I just finished watching From The New World, where
quite a similar thing happened (guerilla war against overpowered humans that can make you explode just by looking at you)

Speaking of Yukari, she needs to be nerfed too. Very much so.

I also agree with this. We can already see her getting nerfed by ZUN in SSiB.

I've been considering the idea of hostages to keep Reimu's hax at bay, but in the end, I just might go with disabling the source of its power.

So, this is for your fanfic, isn't it?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 05, 2013, 07:00:56 PM
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Jesus, that's horrifying. It's like something out of a messed up doujin or something.

Actually, that's from IM. I wish I was joking.

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We can already see her getting nerfed by ZUN in SSiB.

Yes, at least as far as her gap travelling is concerned. She can only reach the Moon once a month and only by opening a boundary on the surface of the lake. And even then she only reaches the near side of the Moon, which is the exact opposite where the Lunar Capital lies. Likewise, in SWR, it took her several "gaps" to reach Heaven, though that could have been intentional.

As for her battle abilities, we can't really say she was nerfed in SSiB as she did no actual fighting. She could have just been acting inferior as a decoy, so that Yuyuko would have enough time to do her job. And she's been known to lie and deceive on many occasions. Telling a few lies to her shikigami would not surprise me. She also seems to fear/have a great respect for Eiki Shiki, as shown in Seasonal Dream Vision, though that can be interpreted as simply not willing to listen to/argue with her. Even when there are characters more poweful than Yukari, she is smart enough to know who she can and cannot handle. Someone like Remilia or Yuuka, who are so confident about themselves, would probably want to challenge the Watatsukis head on just to see if they're as strong as they say. Another limitation of Yukari's power could be shown in PCB backstory, when instead of sealing off or destroying Saigyou Ayakashi, she uses Yuyuko's body as a seal and send the tree to the Netherworld.
While boundary manipulation would technically allow her to manipulate everything, she is not omnipotent. Therfore, I think that ZUN defined some characters' abilities incorrectly. 

For example if Flandre could really destroy "anything and everything" as her ability is defined, she could destroy, not only objects. She could destroy concepts. Reality, void, she could destroy water, the sun, a meaning of a word, herself, a God, the concept of immortality or time itself. But she can only destroy things that have an "eye" which she can crush. That alone already subtracts quite a lot of things from the "anything and everything" group, meaning the definition is not true.
The same could be said about Yoshika. With a bit of stretch, she could be able to copycat Keine's ability and "eat" history. Or she could consume someone's memory. Or knowledge.  Giving the cheesy zombie line: "Braaaains~" a whole new meaning.
Or Seiga's ability could be extended as being able to pass through the walls of reality. And she'd be able to do the same thing that Reimu can, using a different concept.
A lot of the so called "broken" powers in Touhou have some sort of limitations, and in a world where Spell Card Rules apply, they hold no meaning anyway. And a lot of these powers are not well defined by ZUN.

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So, this is for your fanfic, isn't it?

Well, yes. I was under the impression that this thread exists to discuss writing ideas.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 05, 2013, 07:48:56 PM
Actually, that's from IM. I wish I was joking.

 :o

Welp, another reason why I'm not going to waste my time reading that fic. The other one is Yuuka being a fourth wall-breaking Outer God. I mean, what the hell?

But most importantly, I just don't find it interesting enough to continue reading beyond 6 chapters or so. It's like reading a trainwreck (everything's going to shit), only instead of hilarious it's more disturbing than anything.

So yeah.

Yes, at least as far as her gap travelling is concerned. She can only reach the Moon once a month and only by opening a boundary on the surface of the lake. And even then she only reaches the near side of the Moon, which is the exact opposite where the Lunar Capital lies. Likewise, in SWR, it took her several "gaps" to reach Heaven, though that could have been intentional.

As for her battle abilities, we can't really say she was nerfed in SSiB as she did no actual fighting. She could have just been acting inferior as a decoy, so that Yuyuko would have enough time to do her job. And she's been known to lie and deceive on many occasions. Telling a few lies to her shikigami would not surprise me. She also seems to fear/have a great respect for Eiki Shiki, as shown in Seasonal Dream Vision, though that can be interpreted as simply not willing to listen to/argue with her. Even when there are characters more poweful than Yukari, she is smart enough to know who she can and cannot handle. Someone like Remilia or Yuuka, who are so confident about themselves, would probably want to challenge the Watatsukis head on just to see if they're as strong as they say. Another limitation of Yukari's power could be shown in PCB backstory, when instead of sealing off or destroying Saigyou Ayakashi, she uses Yuyuko's body as a seal and send the tree to the Netherworld.
While boundary manipulation would technically allow her to manipulate everything, she is not omnipotent. Therfore, I think that ZUN defined some characters' abilities incorrectly.

For example if Flandre could really destroy "anything and everything" as her ability is defined, she could destroy, not only objects. She could destroy concepts. Reality, void, she could destroy water, the sun, a meaning of a word, herself, a God, the concept of immortality or time itself. But she can only destroy things that have an "eye" which she can crush. That alone already subtracts quite a lot of things from the "anything and everything" group, meaning the definition is not true.
The same could be said about Yoshika. With a bit of stretch, she could be able to copycat Keine's ability and "eat" history. Or she could consume someone's memory. Or knowledge.  Giving the cheesy zombie line: "Braaaains~" a whole new meaning.
Or Seiga's ability could be extended as being able to pass through the walls of reality. And she'd be able to do the same thing that Reimu can, using a different concept.
A lot of the so called "broken" powers in Touhou have some sort of limitations, and in a world where Spell Card Rules apply, they hold no meaning anyway. And a lot of these powers are not well defined by ZUN.

Hmm, no objections here.

Well, yes. I was under the impression that this thread exists to discuss writing ideas.

I mean, is it for your ongoing fic or for a new, not-yet-written one?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: AnonymousPondScum on May 05, 2013, 08:42:03 PM
Actually, that's from IM. I wish I was joking.

Wait, you mean Imperfect Metamorphosis? D:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 05, 2013, 09:00:33 PM
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I mean, is it for your ongoing fic or for a new, not-yet-written one?

In that case, my bad for misunderstanding. Yes, it's for an ongoing fic.

@Wild Witchy West
Yes.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 05, 2013, 09:51:25 PM
@Wild Witchy West
Yes.

I read it up until it posited that Yuuka was some sort of all-powerful Elder God that made Yukari look like a helpless baby.

That said, I did find the author's Youmu-Yuyuko dynamic to be pretty amusing.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 06, 2013, 09:14:16 AM
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The other one is Yuuka being a fourth wall-breaking Outer God. I mean, what the hell?

The 4th wall breaking Yuuka actually does have some canonical foundation, depending on whether or not one consideres Mystic Square as part of the canon. Namely her bad ending where she addresses you - the player. Asking you to choose her again next time when you're in a better condition.
http://touhouendings.wikkii.com/wiki/Main_Page   this website is basically doing what ZUN always asked his fans not to do, but for those who can't read/speak Japanese and can't or don't want to bother clearing the games just so they could know their full story, it's incredibly useful.

As for IM's Yuuka being something you'd expect from a Lovecraftian mythos, I'll only say that it's... well, quite bold and original move. I guess that's what makes the author so special. Unlike me, he is not afraid to reforge canon into his desired shape. even if it means violating it. Giant robots in Touhou? Some ask why? He asks why not? Now if you're reading this post by any chance, Taker, know that I don't mean it in any way offensive. But no matter how awesome your work may be, it can never please everyone.
Inversely, no matter how terrible one's fic is, there's always someone who'll at least have a good laugh at it and like it for that reason.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 06, 2013, 06:57:58 PM
The 4th wall breaking Yuuka actually does have some canonical foundation, depending on whether or not one consideres Mystic Square as part of the canon. Namely her bad ending where she addresses you - the player. Asking you to choose her again next time when you're in a better condition.

That's a joke. Not to be taken seriously at all.

As for IM's Yuuka being something you'd expect from a Lovecraftian mythos, I'll only say that it's... well, quite bold and original move. I guess that's what makes the author so special. Unlike me, he is not afraid to reforge canon into his desired shape. even if it means violating it. Giant robots in Touhou? Some ask why? He asks why not? Now if you're reading this post by any chance, Taker, know that I don't mean it in any way offensive. But no matter how awesome your work may be, it can never please everyone.
Inversely, no matter how terrible one's fic is, there's always someone who'll at least have a good laugh at it and like it for that reason.

I just don't see the point of making Akyuu give a birth to herself or making Yuuka an Outer God. This is me saying "why?". All things in a story should have a legitimate purpose. If you're bending canon, you better have a damn good reason to do so.

And that doesn't make him special at all. There are thousand authors out there that's never afraid to reforge canon into their own views. And most of them are terrible authors. Case in point: Harry Potter fandom, where we have fics featuring the characters secretly being half-*insert cool mythical creature here*.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: AnonymousPondScum on May 06, 2013, 06:59:32 PM
I will say that making Yuuka an Outer God was hilariously unintentionally prescient if that chapter was written before Forbidden Scrollery came out.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 06, 2013, 07:34:49 PM
I will say that making Yuuka an Outer God was hilariously unintentionally prescient if that chapter was written before Forbidden Scrollery came out.

Oh, you're making a Necronomicon joke.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: AnonymousPondScum on May 06, 2013, 07:58:58 PM
Oh, you're making a Necronomicon joke.

Yeah. :V

That much said, Akyu giving birth to herself is just...Eeyugh. Touhou is mythology and ghost stories, not Prometheus or a Cronenberg film!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 06, 2013, 10:31:51 PM
As for IM's Yuuka being something you'd expect from a Lovecraftian mythos, I'll only say that it's... well, quite bold and original move. I guess that's what makes the author so special. Unlike me, he is not afraid to reforge canon into his desired shape. even if it means violating it. Giant robots in Touhou? Some ask why? He asks why not? Now if you're reading this post by any chance, Taker, know that I don't mean it in any way offensive. But no matter how awesome your work may be, it can never please everyone.
Inversely, no matter how terrible one's fic is, there's always someone who'll at least have a good laugh at it and like it for that reason.

I'm more on lightdreamer's side here. I found myself thinking more "Huh?" and "Uh...okay" when it was revealed that Yuuka was an Outer God, and less "OH SHI--" which I strongly suspect was Taker's intention.

In the context of Touhou (and even in the context of Taker's version of Gensokyo), that sort of stuff needs to be handled in a certain way lest people react more with confusion and irritation than what was intended. Randomly inserting Lovecraftian references as a major plot element will need proper explanation and context to work. The Necronomicon example from Forbidden Scrollery works because it's a random, minor one-shot thing that pops up and gives those familiar with Lovecraft a laugh before moving on.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 07, 2013, 11:49:44 AM
Quote
I'm more on lightdreamer's side here. I found myself thinking more "Huh?" and "Uh...okay" when it was revealed that Yuuka was an Outer God, and less "OH SHI--" which I strongly suspect was Taker's intention.

*shrug* Just to clear it up, I've never read a single chapter of that fic and all my information about it comes from the second hand - reviews and other writers talking about it. I'm not defending it, nor am I bashing it. But a fact cannot be ignored that it's possibly the most well-known and pupular fanfic in the western Touhou community, if not the whole Touhou community. It would definitely not be the case if its quality was lacking and if its story failed to catch people's interest. But like I already said in my earlier post; no matter what you write and how you write it, you can't satisfy everyone. However, as long as your fans outweigh your haters, then your work had sense and wasn't futile.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: AnonymousPondScum on May 07, 2013, 11:57:36 AM
I personally thought it was way too bleak, dark and violent to work well as a Touhou fic. I find that when fights in Touhou get rid of the spellcard rules entirely they become dull to me.

It had some good IDEAS, but it did not mesh them very well with the setting it had chosen IMHO.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 07, 2013, 12:11:02 PM
Quote
I personally thought it was way too bleak, dark and violent to work well as a Touhou fic. I find that when fights in Touhou get rid of the spellcard rules entirely they become dull to me.

Oh, everything has potential to work well as a Touhou fic. It's got all the genres, just like its music remixes. It's just about genre preferrence here. This is just another case of  "you can't satisfy everyone". Grimdark Touhou fics are hardly a novelty and despite not fitting much with the original spirit of light-hearted canon Touhou, they are still popular among the readers. Some people like authors that aren't afraid to kill off a few canon characters to make the plot interesting, others hate them for the same reason.
But like you, I also like my Touhou on the brighter side.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 07, 2013, 12:17:29 PM
But a fact cannot be ignored that it's possibly the most well-known and pupular fanfic in the western Touhou community, if not the whole Touhou community. It would definitely not be the case if its quality was lacking

Popularity is not a guarantee of quality. Take, for example, works by Dan Brown: that crap is so badly written it's painful. Yet, they were so popular they  managed to get Tom hanks to play as the main character in the film adaptations, and the books regularly hit the Best Sellers list on the New York Times. Unless, of course, you're going to try and argue that Dan Brown IS a good writer, which will make me extremely sad. And don't forget about other works such as Twilight: phenomenally popular, phenomenally bad.

Not to say that Taker is a poor writer, or that IM is necessarily bad...just saying that IM being popular does not guarantee its quality.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 07, 2013, 12:42:32 PM
@Molai

You may be right, but in this sad world, opinions like that don't really matter that much. The numbers do. And if it's numbers you're aiming for, then you either have to write something epically good or terribly bad.  Or something that sparks up discussions and splits your reader base into two factions, or more. Like another one of my fellow writers from fanfiction.net said: "No author has ever become famous for writing a mediocre work."

And I'm fairly sure Stephenie Meyer doesn't give a damn about what her haters and critics have to say, when she's raking in cash and obsessed fangrils to her side. "Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of money rustling in my pockets!"
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 07, 2013, 06:05:43 PM
I find that when fights in Touhou get rid of the spellcard rules entirely they become dull to me.

I dunno. I've yet to read a fanfic that can make a spellcard duel interesting. Usually, it's just "declare this, dodge that" etc. I'd rather just play the actual games for that.

And for a non-spellcard fight, meaning more punching and kicking, there's that fic by Game2011.

The Necronomicon example from Forbidden Scrollery works because it's a random, minor one-shot thing that pops up and gives those familiar with Lovecraft a laugh before moving on.

And yet, somebody out there is taking that seriously. Yep, I'm sure they exist. It's just a matter of time.  :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 07, 2013, 07:38:58 PM
I dunno. I've yet to read a fanfic that can make a spellcard duel interesting. Usually, it's just "declare this, dodge that" etc. I'd rather just play the actual games for that.

I find that it's too difficult to get what's essentially a purely visual effect into words without disturbing the flow in the fight scene.  Too much tunnel vision required. 

Quote
And yet, somebody out there is taking that seriously. Yep, I'm sure they exist. It's just a matter of time.  :V
That's low hanging fruit. I'm actually surprised no one's done a Mythos or an Evil Dead/Army of Darkness crossover yet.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 07, 2013, 07:42:25 PM
Quote
I dunno. I've yet to read a fanfic that can make a spellcard duel interesting. Usually, it's just "declare this, dodge that" etc. I'd rather just play the actual games for that.

And what else are you expecting from a spell card duel anyway? That they suddenly pull out guns out of their bras?
Or a better question: What would in your opinion make a spell card duel interesting?
If it's more punching and kicking, then I might as well say that you can play the Touhou fighting games for that. 

Oh, and hi there, Acha.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 07, 2013, 08:36:27 PM
And what else are you expecting from a spell card duel anyway? That they suddenly pull out guns out of their bras?
Or a better question: What would in your opinion make a spell card duel interesting?
If it's more punching and kicking, then I might as well say that you can play the Touhou fighting games for that. 

I'm not expecting anything. That's why I'm not too fond of spellcard battles in written form.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 08, 2013, 09:50:56 AM
I'm still curious to know how you'd make a spell card duel interesting. Maybe your fellow authors could learn from it. Or maybe action just isn't your thing and I'll repeat the same thing like a broken record: "you can't satisfy everyone" for the thrid time.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 08, 2013, 11:14:55 AM
I'm still curious to know how you'd make a spell card duel interesting. Maybe your fellow authors could learn from it. Or maybe action just isn't your thing and I'll repeat the same thing like a broken record: "you can't satisfy everyone" for the thrid time.

Hmm, perhaps we could derive some inspiration from sports manga? I happen to find most sports to be terribly uninteresting (just a matter of personal taste, nothing against sports), but some manga, like Ookiku Furikabutte (http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/comics/ookiku-furikabutte-r877), manage to hold my interest despite baseball games lasting dozens or more chapters. The key to these seem to be...

1) Absolutely making sure the audience is heavily emotionally invested in the characters. This is important for any piece of writing, but it's especially important for sports manga, where not all of your audience might be interested in the nitty-gritty details of the sport.

2) Making each game matter for the characters. Even if it's just an exhibition game, have the game matter a lot to the characters in some way. If step 1 was followed, then things that matter to the characters will probably end up mattering to the audience.

So, applying these to Touhou danmaku battles...

1) Have the audience be emotionally invested in the characters. Duh.

2) Have the danmaku battle really matter. Don't make it just be one of those "Oh if ___ loses it'll just end up being a tea party at the Hakurei Shrine" sort of deal, have the danmaku battle be a huge issue for the character. Maybe it's Marisa trying to prove, once and for all, that she's the best in Gensokyo, and years and years of hard work are riding on the line. Maybe it's up to Reimu to beat this new incident-causer and save Gensokyo. Or maybe it's Chen wanting to prove that she truly is a capable shinigami, worthy of the name of Yakumo. If the danmaku battle is just a one-shot thing that some of the characters are doing for fun, then there's probably no need to devote much text to it.

I can't say I have any ideas for the nitty-gritty details of the danmaku battle itself, but I suspect that once the above two requirements are met, the rest will more easily fall into place.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 08, 2013, 06:35:36 PM
1) Absolutely making sure the audience is heavily emotionally invested in the characters. This is important for any piece of writing, but it's especially important for sports manga, where not all of your audience might be interested in the nitty-gritty details of the sport.

I concur.

But sadly, it's hard to find Touhou fics where that happens. It might be just me,  but most of the time, when something happens to a character, my reaction would be "yeah, whatever". It's also like that with canon by the way.

2) Have the danmaku battle really matter. Don't make it just be one of those "Oh if ___ loses it'll just end up being a tea party at the Hakurei Shrine" sort of deal, have the danmaku battle be a huge issue for the character. Maybe it's Marisa trying to prove, once and for all, that she's the best in Gensokyo, and years and years of hard work are riding on the line. Maybe it's up to Reimu to beat this new incident-causer and save Gensokyo. Or maybe it's Chen wanting to prove that she truly is a capable shinigami, worthy of the name of Yakumo. If the danmaku battle is just a one-shot thing that some of the characters are doing for fun, then there's probably no need to devote much text to it.

I can't say I have any ideas for the nitty-gritty details of the danmaku battle itself, but I suspect that once the above two requirements are met, the rest will more easily fall into place.

And don't forget. The more over-the-top, all "serious business", the better.  :V
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 08, 2013, 07:36:08 PM
Quote
But sadly, it's hard to find Touhou fics where that happens. It might be just me,  but most of the time, when something happens to a character, my reaction would be "yeah, whatever". It's also like that with canon by the way.

It should also be noted that canon mangas have shown very little action as opposed to the games, where the point of every encounter is conflict. So we can't even enjoy much of the thrill from duels even if we wanted to.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 08, 2013, 07:38:49 PM
It should also be noted that canon mangas have shown very little action as opposed to the games, where the point of every encounter is conflict. So we can't even enjoy much of the thrill from duels even if we wanted to.

Yeah. It's a shame, but ZUN just doesn't want to take Touhou into that direction.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TakerFoxx on May 08, 2013, 09:37:48 PM
That's a joke. Not to be taken seriously at all.

I just don't see the point of making Akyuu give a birth to herself or making Yuuka an Outer God. This is me saying "why?". All things in a story should have a legitimate purpose. If you're bending canon, you better have a damn good reason to do so.

Actually, I retconned the Akyuu thing out and replaced it with the canonical portrayal, as it was pointed out that she only reincarnates every hundred years or so, which I had overlooked at the time. The reason I did it was because she reminded me of the Archive from the Dresden Files, so I tweaked it as a shout-out, but after the discrepancy was pointed out to me, it just kept bothering me until I gave in and changed it.

As for Yuuka, given the incredibly crazy types of characters that already exist in canon, a moe-ified Lovecraftian monstrosity existing in Gensokyo really wouldn't be out of place.  ;)

Also, yes, it was for plot purposes.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 08, 2013, 10:13:40 PM
It should also be noted that canon mangas have shown very little action as opposed to the games, where the point of every encounter is conflict. So we can't even enjoy much of the thrill from duels even if we wanted to.

That said, visual media do have a big advantage when it comes to portraying action, in particular danmaku fights. You can compress an action scene into a smaller space, plus you can keep the audience interested with visual spectacles. Text by itself obviously does not have that advantage.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 09, 2013, 10:23:12 AM
As for Yuuka, given the incredibly crazy types of characters that already exist in canon, a moe-ified Lovecraftian monstrosity existing in Gensokyo really wouldn't be out of place.  ;)

I dunno. It still feels out of place to me.

Then again, I'm not one of those people who like Touhou because it has a bunch of omnipotent playing around and drinking tea. In fact, I'll hate Touhou if that were the case.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 09, 2013, 01:19:38 PM
Some pretty interesting discussion has taken off here, it seems. Just thought I'd chime in on a few points.

Joveus astutely points out how sports manga get people to care about a showdown between two characters. However, the problem with spellcard duels in fanfiction is that you do more than make the audience care about the characters and feel the importance of the match. I think this involves combining visual and emotional aspects, and see no reason why a spellcard duel can't make a great read.

Visually, a Touhou spellcard can be described so many different ways. You could use action language about the speed and power of the bullets, poetic language about the patterns (or how about what sound they make? maybe the scent of ozone fills the air as the spellcard revs up? perhaps nearby birds take flight juts before it's cast?) - you get the picture. Why skimp on the details of the most important part of the showdown? Likewise, show your readers how the characters feel and what they're thinking during the match. Describing dodging (or even grazing!) and close calls, sure, that's part of the action. But when you share with the reader the high-pressure emotions and quick-thinking going on inside the characters, too, you've opened another level of action.

So in other words, yeah, there's no reason why something as visually stunning and emotionally charged as a spellcard duel couldn't be awesome.

You may be right, but in this sad world, opinions like that don't really matter that much. The numbers do.

"Matter" to who, exactly? In what way? Who is this arbitrary judge of What Matters?

That a story is good does matter - it matters to people who want to read good stories, and it matters to people who want to write them. That a story is popular also matters, very much, to the author. I don't think any author feels they must choose between writing good stories and writing popular ones. Writers are usually aiming for both.

And if it's numbers you're aiming for, then you either have to write something epically good or terribly bad.  Or something that sparks up discussions and splits your reader base into two factions, or more. Like another one of my fellow writers from fanfiction.net said: "No author has ever become famous for writing a mediocre work."
Now that's confusing. Writers are pretty much always aiming to write something very good. Who sits down with the decision to write a mediocre story? Aiming to write something incredibly bad is only done for comedy. "Try to write something good" is probably not a piece of advice you'd need to give someone.

But the notion of writing something that will prove divisive and argumentative, yeah, that's something I see way too much of in fanfiction. It leads to my least favorite thing about fanfiction: gimmicks. Like using devices or crossovers because it would be presumably mind-blowing or funny or cool, which are usually shoehorned into the story in such an abrupt, clumsy way that it comes across as forced, and usually is. When it becomes clear the author probably spends way too much time on TVTropes and is now trying to force in as many argued-about and divisive tropes and devices as they can, that's when I stop reading.

Shit-stirring via fanfiction in the hopes of driving up readership is putting the cart before the horse, in other words. Good stories can spark discussion and lead to divided readerships, but getting a bunch of people to argue with each other is not necessarily a sign of quality writing.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 09, 2013, 02:02:32 PM
Quote
"Matter" to who, exactly? In what way? Who is this arbitrary judge of What Matters?

To the authors, obviously. Especially the professional ones. After all, the number of copies they manage to sell can mean the difference between their wealth and poverty. And the arbitrary judge is none other than the author's readers. To the authors, it may not matter that some renowned critic finds their work amazing, when people simply aren't buying it and instead pick a bestseller of arguably lower quality. I admit, this may not be the case for fanfiction writers, though. But even they have certain goals they aim for. The only reward of a fanfic witer is the feeling of accomplishment and the praise from the readers and even that depends on the numbers of people their fic manages to attract. My opinion that numbers matter still stands.

Quote
Now that's confusing. Writers are pretty much always aiming to write something very good. Who sits down with the decision to write a mediocre story? Aiming to write something incredibly bad is only done for comedy. "Try to write something good" is probably not a piece of advice you'd need to give someone.

You'd be surprised how many people would argue with that. I personally know dozens of authors who don't aim to break the ground with their fic, they write just for the sake of writing, because it's enjoyable for them. The fact that their story also manages to recieve positive feedback from their audience is just a nice bonus to them. To them the numbers don't matter. Just the writing.

Otherwise, I can agree with the rest of your post.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 09, 2013, 02:33:05 PM
But the notion of writing something that will prove divisive and argumentative, yeah, that's something I see way too much of in fanfiction. It leads to my least favorite thing about fanfiction: gimmicks. Like using devices or crossovers because it would be presumably mind-blowing or funny or cool, which are usually shoehorned into the story in such an abrupt, clumsy way that it comes across as forced, and usually is. When it becomes clear the author probably spends way too much time on TVTropes and is now trying to force in as many argued-about and divisive tropes and devices as they can, that's when I stop reading.

I agree.

Gimmicks can be interesting, but please think more than just the gimmick before writing your story.

Shit-stirring via fanfiction in the hopes of driving up readership is putting the cart before the horse, in other words. Good stories can spark discussion and lead to divided readerships, but getting a bunch of people to argue with each other is not necessarily a sign of quality writing.

How do you purposefully stir a shitstorm via fanfiction anyway?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 09, 2013, 03:09:45 PM
My opinion that numbers matter still stands.

But I'm not saying numbers don't matter to the writer. I'm saying most writers are aiming to write something good -and- for it to be popular. It's not an either/or thing. You were responding to a very good point about how Dan Brown's novels are mediocre but popular by saying that the quality does not matter as much as the number of readers. I don't think Brown sat down with the intention to write a series of bad yet popular novels; I think it's a safe bet that he believes his own writing is also good, and his aim was to write stories he found good and that would end up popular.

You'd be surprised how many people would argue with that. I personally know dozens of authors who don't aim to break the ground with their fic, they write just for the sake of writing, because it's enjoyable for them. The fact that their story also manages to recieve positive feedback from their audience is just a nice bonus to them. To them the numbers don't matter. Just the writing.

Also didn't say a writer needs to break new ground. But to write a good story? Yeah, I think we can agree that that's what writers are trying to do.

How do you purposefully stir a shitstorm via fanfiction anyway?

Through the aforementioned gimmicks, e.g. canon-breaking and crossovers, especially. Yes, this gets people arguing and sending links around so that more people can argue about it. But to me it seems kinda cheap and easy.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 09, 2013, 03:25:07 PM
Through the aforementioned gimmicks, e.g. canon-breaking and crossovers, especially. Yes, this gets people arguing and sending links around so that more people can argue about it. But to me it seems kinda cheap and easy.

In short, bringing up sensitive issues in the fandom (powerlevel adjustment in crossovers for example).

And about sending links around, what do you think of a writer that likes to promote his stories everywhere?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 09, 2013, 03:38:23 PM
I mean there's ways to do it that aren't spammy and obnoxious, so I don't think that's a bad thing in itself.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 09, 2013, 03:40:31 PM
@Yuki Mori

You were asking to who the numbers matter and how, so I replied to that. Also, many people don't realize it, but in case of published works, a very important part rests on the shoulders of the publishers. They definitely won't publish just any drabble you bring to them. They also aim for the profit from the work you're offering and if they find its quality lacking, they'll quickly send you back where you came from. Or they'll ask you to edit a part or several parts of your work before sending it to the presses. And what the readers get in the bookstore may not be a 100% extract of the author's mind. The fact that Twilight and other questionable pieces of literature are in such demand is due to the author and publishers targeting a specific audience.

This brings out the discussions about the most appropriate places to publish and advertise your work, depending on the genre and style you write in.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 09, 2013, 06:50:40 PM
Heh, I'm an eensy bit familiar with the publishing world. But we're talking about fanfiction, and the goalposts keep moving here. Point is, there is no choice between good writing -or- popularity, and it's a meme that needs to die.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 09, 2013, 07:55:15 PM
Purely technically speaking, popularity is a contest of subjective opinions whether a particular work, book, fic, etc. is "good" or "bad" If a fic is popular, then it is "good" for a large group of your readers, and even when there are those who say otherwise, the numbers of those who consider it "good" don't speak in the favor of the critics. So I may speak heresy when I say that "popular = good", but that's the conclusion I keep coming to over and over again.

*sigh* I didn't intend to start such an intense opinion exchange and topic derailment, but I guess it's too late for apologies now. I think I better STFU now.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 09, 2013, 11:04:27 PM
Purely technically speaking, popularity is a contest of subjective opinions whether a particular work, book, fic, etc. is "good" or "bad" If a fic is popular, then it is "good" for a large group of your readers, and even when there are those who say otherwise, the numbers of those who consider it "good" don't speak in the favor of the critics. So I may speak heresy when I say that "popular = good", but that's the conclusion I keep coming to over and over again.

*sigh* I didn't intend to start such an intense opinion exchange and topic derailment, but I guess it's too late for apologies now. I think I better STFU now.

No, no need to STFU, I think this is a discussion of merit.  :)

Despite what I said earlier, about popularity not necessarily equating to quality...your post alludes to a something that's honestly been bugging me for years.

I know I said before that Taker's "Yuuka = Outer God" idea didn't really work for me, and given the reactions of some of the other posters, that position doesn't seem to be a particularly unreasonable one. However, isn't it also rather subjective? Maybe the Yuuka-Outer God idea made me go "meh", but that certainly wasn't the case for the hundreds or thousands of people who are fans of Imperfect Metamorphosis. Maybe that idea didn't elicit the emotional response Taker intended from me, but what about the people who did go  :o at that revelation? Does their opinion not matter?

I'm finding that a lot of what modern fiction writers consider to be "good writing" frequently depend on invoking subjective experiences in audiences, and for the longest time I've been feeling more and more uncomfortable at using such a metric to measure the quality of writing. "Getting your audience emotionally attached to a character(s)"--fair enough, but getting emotionally attached to something is pretty subjective. YOU might find a certain ribbon-wearing, armpit-showing, cheerful and lazy shrine maiden to be a compelling character, but what if I don't? Am I stupid? Do I have bad tastes? Why? If 75% of your entire readerbase finds a particular character to be compelling, and the other 25% don't, does that mean you've written a bad character? What if the numbers are 90% and 10% instead? Or 99% and 1%? And even if 99% of a readerbase finds a particular character to be interesting, or a particular scene to be compelling, are the other 1% just wrong? Do they have poor tastes in literature? This is the issue, I feel, with trying to apply objective descriptions (good, bad) to something that relies so heavily on subjective experiences. If more people like apples than oranges, is apple the "better" fruit? If lightdreamer and I didn't find Taker's Yuuka idea to be interesting, does that make us stupid in the face of Taker's legions of fans?

 
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 10, 2013, 02:38:09 AM
The catch with popularity as a writer is getting your work into the hands of the people that enjoy it.  There's no way to get out of the midlist or the slush pile without this.  Telling a good story is great, but if it doesn't get to the right loudmouthed fan willing to tell others about the work they just read... (Dan Brown wasn't a best-seller because of the quality of his writing; he was the beneficiary of an advertising push from publishers who still think that they can create best-sellers at will.) 

It's also important to remember that "Name the most widely read authors you can think of [...] and the immense majority of book-buyers out there actively decline to read them."  (Thomas McCormack, The Fiction Editor, the Novel, and the Novelist)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: AnonymousPondScum on May 10, 2013, 02:40:42 AM
Who needs for Yuuka to be an Outer God when Yukari is already Gensokyo's answer to Nyarlhotep? :V

Also, come get some. (http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=33732063)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 10, 2013, 06:55:38 AM
I'm finding that a lot of what modern fiction writers consider to be "good writing" frequently depend on invoking subjective experiences in audiences, and for the longest time I've been feeling more and more uncomfortable at using such a metric to measure the quality of writing. "Getting your audience emotionally attached to a character(s)"--fair enough, but getting emotionally attached to something is pretty subjective. YOU might find a certain ribbon-wearing, armpit-showing, cheerful and lazy shrine maiden to be a compelling character, but what if I don't? Am I stupid? Do I have bad tastes? Why? If 75% of your entire readerbase finds a particular character to be compelling, and the other 25% don't, does that mean you've written a bad character? What if the numbers are 90% and 10% instead? Or 99% and 1%? And even if 99% of a readerbase finds a particular character to be interesting, or a particular scene to be compelling, are the other 1% just wrong? Do they have poor tastes in literature? This is the issue, I feel, with trying to apply objective descriptions (good, bad) to something that relies so heavily on subjective experiences. If more people like apples than oranges, is apple the "better" fruit? If lightdreamer and I didn't find Taker's Yuuka idea to be interesting, does that make us stupid in the face of Taker's legions of fans?

This. This is the question I've been asking to myself.

Mostly because I tend to be in the minority concerning my Touhou preferences.  :V

Who needs for Yuuka to be an Outer God when Yukari is already Gensokyo's answer to Nyarlhotep? :V

Funny how I know two Touhou stories with Nyarla in it. And they both have nothing to do with Yukari.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 10, 2013, 08:54:24 AM
Well, let's bear a few things in mind when it comes to the subject of quality and popularity.

First, popularity is a fluid thing. Plenty of artists who are now considered geniuses were unknown or dismissed in their time. Likewise, wildly popular artists back in the day raise a shrug from us today. Fanbases grow, shrink, and even shift - literature which was once popularity with one demographic ends up speaking to a whole other after a generation. And as was mentioned before, popularity is increasingly less about the quality of the writing and more about the advertising and promotional efforts put behind it.

For this reason, I think just saying "popular = good" is too oversimplified. It's an attempt to try and put a dry, logical, unwavering standard to what qualifies as "good" in a field where such a standard is impossible.

Second, I see the word "subjective" tossed around a lot in these discussions; that the subjectivity of quality is some kind of problem that needs to be solved. We should have in mind that there are different degrees of subjectivity. Using no capitalization, punctuation, or spaces between words is less subjectively OK than, say, employing Lovecraftian themes in your writing. "Subjectivity" is a spectrum; not all things are regarded with the same degree of subjectivity.

So where does this leave us? How do we know what "good" writing is?

The short answer is we don't. Well, not really anyway. The long answer is we can rely on the opinions of people who have studied literature and know what works to explain what's good and bad, but any curious reader is going to read a story with a plot idea that intrigues them, regardless of the opinions of critics. We can also look back through time, over some of the Greats, to see what devices they used to make their stories so timeless and compelling. Popularity, though, is a terrible gauge for what makes a story good - popularity is fluid as hell, and is often based just as much if not more on "spamming" readers than on the quality of the writing itself.

In the end, yes, things are "subjective" - but not all things are equally subjective, subjective in the same way, or subjective at the same time. Writing is an art. It is not an exact science. So there never will be some Golden Mean for determining good and bad writing. All we can do is read, write, and interact. Way it goes.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 10, 2013, 02:19:27 PM
popularity is increasingly less about the quality of the writing and more about the advertising and promotional efforts put behind it.

This can also apply as well to fanfiction, IMHO.

You want to be popular in the community? Start promoting your work everywhere and review every single story you come across (nicely, of course) in hope that the author will check out your own story (since you're his/her "loyal" reader after all).

And don't forget to pander to the type of stories popular in the fandom.

All of those, combined with a decent amount of writing skill, are enough to at least get your story "uplifted" from the "nobody knows" status to "a bunch of people know".

Just posting your story on FF.net won't cut it at all.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 10, 2013, 02:37:45 PM
Yup! Good point. Even FF.net has a bar to clear.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 10, 2013, 06:34:09 PM
The short answer is we don't. Well, not really anyway. The long answer is we can rely on the opinions of people who have studied literature and know what works to explain what's good and bad, but any curious reader is going to read a story with a plot idea that intrigues them, regardless of the opinions of critics. We can also look back through time, over some of the Greats, to see what devices they used to make their stories so timeless and compelling. Popularity, though, is a terrible gauge for what makes a story good - popularity is fluid as hell, and is often based just as much if not more on "spamming" readers than on the quality of the writing itself.

No, we really can't rely on the opinion of those who have studied literature.  The writing that survives over time is genre writing, usually sneered at by the academia of the day.  Why?  Because genre writing sells enough to survive.  Literary writing doesn't sell.  The market was shrinking faster than science fiction, which itself started to shrink when it adopted literary pretensions.  It's on an upswing, solely because to survive, literary writing adopted genre conventions.  As Myers wrote in his Reader's Manifesto,

"Today any accessible, fast-moving story written in unaffected prose is deemed to be "genre fiction"?at best an excellent "read" or a "page turner," but never literature with a capital L. An author with a track record of blockbusters may find the publication of a new work treated like a pop-culture event, but most "genre" novels are lucky to get an inch in the back pages of The New York Times Book Review.


"Everything written in self-conscious, writerly prose, on the other hand, is now considered to be "literary fiction"?not necessarily good literary fiction, mind you, but always worthier of respectful attention than even the best-written thriller or romance. It is these works that receive full-page critiques, often one in the Sunday book-review section and another in the same newspaper during the week. It is these works, and these works only, that make the annual short lists of award committees. The "literary" writer need not be an intellectual one. Jeering at status-conscious consumers, bandying about words like "ontological" and "nominalism," chanting Red River hokum as if it were from a lost book of the Old Testament: this is what passes for profundity in novels these days. Even the most obvious triteness is acceptable, provided it comes with a postmodern wink. "

Especially since the 1970s, academic fashion has been against good writing and good story.  The gatekeepers called publishers shared this bias, selected and pushed books on this model, shifting goalposts where needed (such as creating a NYT bestseller list category to get Harry Potter off of the fiction bestsellers list), and shrunk their markets as a result.   No, academics have forfeited their position as the arbiter of good writing.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 10, 2013, 07:51:20 PM
I just wonder what makes opinions of those who studied literature superior to anyone else's. Like you said: it's an art, not an exact science. To the author the numbers of satisfied readers matter, but not so much to the reader. A reader can pick up a book for so many different reasons: intrest in the genre, boredom, trying something different, getting swayed by the advertising or a reccomendation from a friend, to see if it's as good/bad as everyone says, or reading something that barely gets any attention, or in case of academic literature - to learn something.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 10, 2013, 09:01:16 PM
I'm not saying their opinions are superior; these are the opinions of people who read for a living, and have analyzed and studied writing. So their opinion likely counts for something, and probably has more weight than xXxBongZilla69xXx or whatever. But! That doesn't mean that an academic can't be wrong, or a layman can't be right. There's no absolute here; only tendencies.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 10, 2013, 09:22:26 PM
Following that logic, those who write for a living have a better tendency to gain the interest of readers than those who wrie as a hobby? Or that their writing has a tendency to be of better quality than that of a fanfic writer?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 10, 2013, 09:26:33 PM
Following that logic, those who write for a living have a better tendency to gain the interest of readers than those who wrie as a hobby? Or that their writing has a tendency to be of better quality than that of a fanfic writer?

Not really sure how it follows what I was saying. On the contrary, I said that brilliance can come from laymen. And it often does - hell, just looking around this forum I've seen writing that to my mind is at least on par with stuff published by "serious" writers, sometimes even of higher caliber! Just noting the pretty uncontroversial view that those who've spent years studying literature might usually have better insight about literature than those who have not. Again, I emphasize that this is totally flexible and not at all a hard-and-fast rule. Ultimately, you can't use just one gauge when it comes to assessing art. We read and write what we like.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 10, 2013, 10:22:12 PM
You can, however, assess craft.  Is the writer's use of grammar consistent with general standards?  Are they using Try/fail cycles, the Hollywood formula, proper foreshadowing?  If so, did they use them effectively?   Are they using description in a way that stops action to describe a photograph ( a description dump) or are they giving relevant details as needed?  Are they taking advantage of the resonance their story has with other works?  All of these are examples of craft.

I'd argue that literature, good writing, good storytelling, and craft are all different.  I learned precious little craft from the literature courses I took in college.  Just some nice theory based on resonances, though, which TV Tropes is a bastardization of.  I learned (and am learning) craft from active genre writers such as Pournelle, Hoyt, King, Correia, Gaiman, Sanderson, Farland, and Rusch.  Crack a book and watch how an author blocks out the action.  Did it work?  Did the writer tip his hand too soon on foreshadowing or did that plot twist come out of nowhere?  How did the author (mis)handle the tricky issue of exposition?  Is the description carried by adverbs and adjectives or by nouns and verbs?

This sort of study helps you as a storyteller.  Art may or may not be inherent, but you can always learn craft. 
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 10, 2013, 10:29:16 PM
You can, however, assess craft.  Is the writer's use of grammar consistent with general standards?  Are they using Try/fail cycles, the Hollywood formula, proper foreshadowing?  If so, did they use them effectively?   Are they using description in a way that stops action to describe a photograph ( a description dump) or are they giving relevant details as needed?  Are they taking advantage of the resonance their story has with other works?  All of these are examples of craft.

That they are, and ties in with the point about people who study literature, either professionally, academically, or just by reading a lot. These are people who can identify these devices and operations, to know the "why" of why something works - or doesn't - in a story.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 10, 2013, 10:57:35 PM
Adjusting to the latest trends, aren't we, Yuki? Double Dealing Character, huh?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 10, 2013, 11:23:07 PM
That they are, and ties in with the point about people who study literature, either professionally, academically, or just by reading a lot. These are people who can identify these devices and operations, to know the "why" of why something works - or doesn't - in a story.

If by literature, you mean the nuts-and-bolts craft, we have no argument.  If by literature, you mean the reading in of meanings that never were intended by the author that confirm the reader's biases as taught by American high schools and universities and the preference for grey goo stories filled with turgid, purple prose, I'm going to have to agree to disagree.  That latter definition of literature has demonstrably been a pox.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 10, 2013, 11:24:00 PM
I REGRET NOTHING

If by literature, you mean the nuts-and-bolts craft, we have no argument.  If by literature, you mean the reading in of meanings that never were intended by the author that confirm the reader's biases as taught by American high schools and universities and the preference for grey goo stories filled with turgid, purple prose, I'm going to have to agree to disagree.  That latter definition of literature has demonstrably been a pox.

Ah, I see. Your beef is with academia. In that case we'll have to agree to disagree.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 10, 2013, 11:34:25 PM
Ah, I see. Your beef is with academia. In that case we'll have to agree to disagree.

I'm a Human Wave writer and a genre writer.  I suppose I disagree with much of the writing establishment.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 12:37:45 AM
I'm a Human Wave writer and a genre writer.  I suppose I disagree with much of the writing establishment.

So, are you actually a published writer or what? You're talking pretty big here.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 11, 2013, 01:07:12 AM
Quote from: lightdreamer link=topic=6591.msg972452#msg972452 d. ate=1368232665
So, are you actually a published writer or what? You're talking pretty big here.

I write.  That alone allows me to claim the title of writer.  I identify with the Human Wave movement, which espouses science fiction that isn't grey goo.  I write science fiction and fantasy, which places me square in the genre camp.  Any of these make me a second class citizen in the current publishing world.  Big talk?  Hardly.  I don't fit the mold traditional New York based publishing wants. 
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 11, 2013, 05:45:34 AM

For this reason, I think just saying "popular = good" is too oversimplified. It's an attempt to try and put a dry, logical, unwavering standard to what qualifies as "good" in a field where such a standard is impossible.

The trouble that I have with this argument, and others in its vein (~art cannot/must not be subjected to dry, logical, unwavering standards to what qualifies as "good"), is that the term "good" and by association the term "bad" start to lose any real meaning. If you follow that argument, and then go on to tell me that a story is "good"...what, exactly, am I to draw from that statement? The most likely one that I can draw is that you simply enjoyed that story on some level, and while that can be useful information in certain cases, in others it may not be as useful.

Quote
Second, I see the word "subjective" tossed around a lot in these discussions; that the subjectivity of quality is some kind of problem that needs to be solved.

I do argue that the subjectivity of quality is a problem, because when quality is entirely subjective, applying objective terms such as "good" or "bad" doesn't really tell me much. When quality is subjective, statements like "story X is superior to story Y" cannot be made, because "superior", "better", "inferior", and "worse" don't really apply.


Quote
The short answer is we don't. Well, not really anyway. The long answer is we can rely on the opinions of people who have studied literature and know what works to explain what's good and bad, but any curious reader is going to read a story with a plot idea that intrigues them, regardless of the opinions of critics. We can also look back through time, over some of the Greats, to see what devices they used to make their stories so timeless and compelling.

Using the Greats as a metric for what is "good" and "bad" seems to be flawed; what, exactly, makes the Greats, well, great? It can easily become a circular argument: What makes a story good? It was created by a Great. What makes a Great good? They made good stories.

The Greats arguably did pioneer a lot of techniques, or what Achyarith appears to call "Craft" if I'm understanding his arguments correctly. Techniques, or craft, are pretty objective in the sense that they happen in a work of art whether or not an outside observer to that work of art (i.e. an audience) recognizes or denies the existence of that technique. Whether a painter used a particular brush stroke or did not is an objective fact--if he did, he did, if he did not, he did not, regardless of whether another painter points that out or it goes completely over the head of the layman viewer.

Quote
Writing is an art. It is not an exact science. So there never will be some Golden Mean for determining good and bad writing. All we can do is read, write, and interact. Way it goes.

And this strikes at the core of my worries. It worries me that there is no Golden Mean, no absolute metric, no truly objective standards for determining the quality of an art. I believe that, without some such a metric, it becomes increasingly meaningless to say that a piece of art is good, or that a piece of art is bad. What on earth do those terms mean? And if their meaning is unclear, why should then care when they are applied?

Not really sure how it follows what I was saying. On the contrary, I said that brilliance can come from laymen. And it often does - hell, just looking around this forum I've seen writing that to my mind is at least on par with stuff published by "serious" writers, sometimes even of higher caliber!

*Looks at Achariyth, Iced Fairy, Roukanken, Sakura Rurouni, Yayifications, a host of other writers here on Shrinemaiden*

*Observes how pretty much everyone mentioned above writes better than Dan Brown and Stephanie Meyer*

 :V

Quote
Ultimately, you can't use just one gauge when it comes to assessing art. We read and write what we like.

 :ohdear:
If by literature, you mean the nuts-and-bolts craft, we have no argument.  If by literature, you mean the reading in of meanings that never were intended by the author that confirm the reader's biases as taught by American high schools and universities and the preference for grey goo stories filled with turgid, purple prose, I'm going to have to agree to disagree.  That latter definition of literature has demonstrably been a pox.

I can't say I'm familiar with the academic side of literature, but everything I've heard about it so far makes me lean towards Achariyth's side of things more. As an anecdote:

One of my friends graduated as a Lit major (she's going on to law school since among other things she didn't want to become an academic, she just happens to love literature, but I digress). For her senior year, she elected to write a thesis on...some sort of literary topic, I forget what. When she showed her drafts to her academic advisor for review and criticism, her advisor kept wanting to dock points off of her paper because her points were too coherent.

Let me say that again:

On an academic thesis paper, in which you're supposed to write a clear, coherent argument about a topic, her academic advisor (a professor at the university) told her that her points were too coherent.

She wasn't being criticized for being repetitive, or for switching back and forth on the issue, or anything like that. No, she was criticized for not artfully obscuring her arguments enough.

What in blazes?  ??? :wat:

Several people have told me that the bulk of literary academia in the US at least is made up of people like my friend's advisor. That's not nearly enough evidence for me to outright declare that literary academia is going to hell in a handbasket, but...that worries me.  :ohdear:


You can, however, assess craft.  Is the writer's use of grammar consistent with general standards?  Are they using Try/fail cycles, the Hollywood formula, proper foreshadowing?  If so, did they use them effectively?   

I'm inclined to agree with this. As I mentioned above, whether or not an artist used a particular technique tends to be a lot more clear cut (though it does depend on the technique). Unfortunately, for most standards just flawless application of technique alone doesn't necessarily merit the "quality" badge...

I'm a Human Wave writer and a genre writer.  I suppose I disagree with much of the writing establishment.

Just out of curiosity--are you a professional writer, by any chance? That is, do you regularly get paid for at least some of the stuff you write? (Apologies in advance if this is too personal.)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 09:12:10 AM
*Looks at Achariyth, Iced Fairy, Roukanken, Sakura Rurouni, Yayifications, a host of other writers here on Shrinemaiden*

*Observes how pretty much everyone mentioned above writes better than Dan Brown and Stephanie Meyer*

 :V

So, do you subscribe to the opinion that writing quality is more subjective than objective or not?

Subjectively speaking, they're all the same in my eyes since I'm not interested in their works.

I write.  That alone allows me to claim the title of writer.  I identify with the Human Wave movement, which espouses science fiction that isn't grey goo.  I write science fiction and fantasy, which places me square in the genre camp.  Any of these make me a second class citizen in the current publishing world.  Big talk?  Hardly.  I don't fit the mold traditional New York based publishing wants. 

And before all of that, you're a fanfic writer.  :V

Which is, in my humble opinion, still "lower" than an original story writer since you're using other people's work as the base for your own.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 11, 2013, 09:22:05 AM
Quote
And before all of that, you're a fanfic writer.  :V

Which is, in my humble opinion, still "lower" than an original story writer since you're using other people's work as the base for your own.

And from where do you draw such certainty that Achariyth never wrote anything original aside from fanfiction?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 10:10:18 AM
And from where do you draw such certainty that Achariyth never wrote anything original aside from fanfiction?

That's why I asked him this.

So, are you actually a published writer or what? You're talking pretty big here.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 11, 2013, 10:17:17 AM
There's still a place called fictionpress.net and the likes of it. You don't have to be a published writer to have a few original works under your belt.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 10:35:51 AM
There's still a place called fictionpress.net and the likes of it. You don't have to be a published writer to have a few original works under your belt.

Ah, you're right. I apologize then. My question was wrong.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 11, 2013, 11:41:20 AM
Joveus, I appreciate your efforts to want to keep talking about this thing, but the questions you're asking me have already been answered. Popularity is fluid, "good" and "bad" don't by themselves tell you anything but people usually say more than these words when referring to a story and therefore explain what they mean by them, people who have spent a very long time studying literature can usually - but not always - have greater skill in identifying what's working and what's not in a story, there is no Golden Mean in art, deal with it.

Achariyth is a genre fiction writer and, like many who've chosen this, he likes to consider himself an iconoclast railing against the literary establishment, and that the whole of academia - all those people who have a love of literature so deep they spent years of their lives studying it -  are all, every single one of them, nothing but brainwashed zombies who don't really know what "good" writing is and whose opinions can't be trusted. I don't agree with this, at all, but nor do I think genre fiction is "less serious" than literary fiction.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 11, 2013, 01:30:11 PM
Joveus, I appreciate your efforts to want to keep talking about this thing, but the questions you're asking me have already been answered.

I apologize if I'd been beating a dead horse, then--perhaps I kept asking them because I didn't realize they'd been answered.  :blush:

Quote
there is no Golden Mean in art, deal with it.

:negative:

So, do you subscribe to the opinion that writing quality is more subjective than objective or not?

It's a weird thing. I want to say that, oh, Twilight is an amazingly crappy  book, and that, say, The First Heretic (a Warhammer 40k licensed work) is far better. Every fiber of my being tells me that. Everything I've ever learned about writing, and the arts in general, tells me that. But logically, I feel that I'm unable to say that.

It's such an instinctual thing for me, labeling the quality of something as "good" or "bad", that a lot of times I do it even though at some level I know I probably shouldn't.

Nowadays, the main way I resolve this potential piece of cognitive dissonance is by telling myself that, without some sort of system for judging quality in place, you're likely to not have anything of quality at all by any definition of the word--nihilism and the arts don't mix very well in that context. Though the rather...utility-based nature of this does make me kind of sad.

Quote
Subjectively speaking, they're all the same in my eyes since I'm not interested in their works.

Oof...that's a little harsh. Are there any touhou fanfics at all that interest you? Why don't any here work for you?

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 04:17:46 PM
Oof...that's a little harsh. Are there any touhou fanfics at all that interest you? Why don't any here work for you?

I suppose it's mostly because their themes don't really interest me. Mind you, I just have a very narrow taste concerning Touhou fics, so it's not necessarily the fics' fault.

Yes, I have a few, but they don't even reach 10 in number. And half of them are fangames with story. So yeah.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 11, 2013, 04:28:34 PM
I suppose it's mostly because their themes don't really interest me. Mind you, I just have a very narrow taste concerning Touhou fics, so it's not necessarily the fics' fault.

May I ask what themes do interest you? Maybe one day I could write your 10th favorite Touhou fic :V 
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 05:38:27 PM
May I ask what themes do interest you? Maybe one day I could write your 10th favorite Touhou fic :V

Well, let's see...
1. Some mysterious force threatens Gensokyo. And they're actually a serious threat.
     Yes, I can see this just creating overpowered bland villain OCs that would be called out as "Villain Sues" by the readers. That's why it must be done well (and I've seen it done well, what with the OCs being one of my favorite Touhou OCs out there). The villains must be entertaining. The plot isn't just "the two groups meet and then they fight", meaning they must have twist and turns in it.

2. Anything involving the relationship between humans and youkai, but presented in a balanced manner
    Haven't seen a real good one for this yet. From the stories I've read that brought this up, it's more "pro-youkai" than anything. The protag has a relationship with a youkai (one of the Touhou characters, of course) and the other humans are scared of that fact. Heck, I know one instance where a human blatantly says that it's okay for her to be eaten by a youkai because she'll gladly sacrifice her life for such "creature of beauty".

3. Anything involving the Lunarians, but portrayed other than their usual villainous potrayal
    You know the drill. "Lunarians invading Earth" fics. And even in stories not about that, it's still like that. I believe there's only one single story where that's not the case. And I had to dig through the Japanese fandom to find that.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on May 11, 2013, 09:14:27 PM
And before all of that, you're a fanfic writer.  :V

Which is, in my humble opinion, still "lower" than an original story writer since you're using other people's work as the base for your own.

Considering that publishing's looking at the audience fanfic writers can bring when they make the transition, the sting's no longer there.  Oh, and 4 of last year's science fiction bestsellers were in Star Wars and Halo universes.  Do you consider Shakespeare, Goethe, Virgil, Dante and Marlowe to be lesser writers because some of their works are based on others?  (And, by no means I claim anything near their skill or artistry.  Hell, I'm not worthy enough to pull security for them.)

As far as Tengukami (pardon me, but with the name switch, I am uncertain if that's the right handle to call you), I learn(ed) from craftsmen-writers, who have the same love and study of stories as academia, but expressed differently as the demands of a writer (write enough to pay the bills) are different from the professor.  It's the same difference as the scientist (pure) and the engineer (applied).  In the case of literature and genre, the grossly oversimplified breakdown is language and story.  I do recognize that this debate will be settled about the same time that the Catholics and Protestants stop sniping at each other.  (Never.)  I don't recognize that credentials or love or even long years of study convey a more authorative opinion than someone without credentials or formal study.  You can look at the history of science and archaeology for evidence against that. 

But, as this conversation is crashing on the shores of irreconcilable differences, and I doubt any of us will cause a Damascus moment in the others, I'll walk away from the topic so we can continue to get back to Touhou stories. 

Changing tacks. Lightdreamer, have you thought about writing your own stories?  It seems that you have something different to bring to the table and many writers get their start writing because no one was writing the stories they wanted to read.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: lightdreamer on May 11, 2013, 10:41:33 PM
Considering that publishing's looking at the audience fanfic writers can bring when they make the transition, the sting's no longer there.  Oh, and 4 of last year's science fiction bestsellers were in Star Wars and Halo universes.  Do you consider Shakespeare, Goethe, Virgil, Dante and Marlowe to be lesser writers because some of their works are based on others?  (And, by no means I claim anything near their skill or artistry.  Hell, I'm not worthy enough to pull security for them.)

Well, bestsellers mean nothing in regards to quality, as some people say here.

And about the whole Shakespeare thing? No, not really. They've actually written original fictions, right? You said it yourself that it's only "some", not "all" of their works.

Besides, I doubt they're making "fanfictions" in the way that we're making "fanfictions" nowadays. But that's a discussion for another day.

But, as this conversation is crashing on the shores of irreconcilable differences, and I doubt any of us will cause a Damascus moment in the others, I'll walk away from the topic so we can continue to get back to Touhou stories.

Sure.  :)

But the mods don't seem to mind though, seeing how some of them are participating in the discussion itself.

Changing tacks. Lightdreamer, have you thought about writing your own stories?  It seems that you have something different to bring to the table and many writers get their start writing because no one was writing the stories they wanted to read.

The problem with that is:
1. I'm a lazy bastard who prefers browsing the internet or playing video games over writing.
2. My technical writing skill is barely passable. Sure, I can write with correct spelling and grammar, but other than that, I give up.
3. I only have the general idea of a story, and I can't expand it into a detailed and coherent plot.
4. I'm a lazy bastard who prefers browsing the internet or playing video games over writing.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Captain Vulcan on May 12, 2013, 12:52:13 AM
Evening. The name's Vulcan. It is really nice to meet you guys and gals. I've actually been lurking around here for a while but I decided to become a member at the request of a friend. So I guess it's an honor. I'm looking forward to sharing ideas and having fun with everyone.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on May 12, 2013, 01:11:40 PM
Evening. The name's Vulcan. It is really nice to meet you guys and gals. I've actually been lurking around here for a while but I decided to become a member at the request of a friend. So I guess it's an honor. I'm looking forward to sharing ideas and having fun with everyone.

Welcome to the madhouse, Vulcan!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Captain Vulcan on May 13, 2013, 12:55:43 AM
Welcome to the madhouse, Vulcan!

Thanks a lot, Joveus. I should feel right at home.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on May 17, 2013, 10:42:29 PM
Alright, so I'm thinking a Real Life (TM) setting in which characters slowly discover their powers.

I want to avoid making it grimdark though, as I do have a point where I step back and realize that something is too dark for even me to enjoy when I'm writing it, although characters like Utsuho, Flandre, and Yuyuko present certain challenges.

I'm considering introducing one character at a time, and if necessary, how that character, well, ends, should their power or their inherent nature (e.g. cannibalism & Rumia) should result in their utter destruction, death, or arrest. I'm undecided whether it is wise to even include certain characters like Yuyuko though, who could only discover their powers at all by accidentally killing something, which, bluntly, would be fairly difficult to not make grimdark. I would appreciate ideas about how Yuyuko, Flandre, Utsuho, Hina (goddess of misfotune), Remilia, Orin, etc. could be introduced without making the story too dark. Refuge in audacity is an acceptable manner, and even without the advice, the mere act or writing my idea down does bring my story setting one step closer to written word, which is acceptable.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TwilightsCall on May 22, 2013, 06:35:19 PM
Just some thoughts, take and leave what you will!

Yuyuko - Remember she also has the ability to manipulate the spirits of the dead, not just kill people.  I don't see this having a very happy ending, but you could always do something like she pushes herself to get the 'instant kill' power in order to save someone/thing/place.

Flandre - She doesn't have to break people, she can break things too.  And even if she uses her power on people, it doesn't necessarily have to kill them.  Maybe in a fit of rage/panic/by accident she crushes someone's arm or leg or something.  That would still be a pretty powerful experience to someone, especially if you are writing them to be as young as Flandre (visibly) is.

Utsuho - Blowing things up doesn't have to be violent.  In her case, it probably will be, but if you are creative you should be able to do something good with it.  I find it hard to imagine the kind of things Utsuho could do with her powers that wont get people killed though...fission and fusion have a pretty narrow range of applications, and they all seem to be on the 'way too strong' end of the spectrum.  This is probably the one I would find most difficult to adapt into your story unless you were willing to play around with her powers a bit, and make her slowly work her way up to Nuclear-level phenomena.

Hina- She's a goddess of Misfortune, but that's because she takes people's misfortune away!  She's almost perfect for a more lighter toned story, because her power is based on making the people around her happy.  If you don't mind playing with canon a little bit, you could write quite the tragic heroine story about her taking people's misfortunes onto herself (canonically, the misfortune doesn't affect her either, but that's the great part about fiction :P)

Remilia - This one will likely end in a much sadder tone.  Assuming you don't push the vampire angle and you just focus on her ability to manipulate fate, you could write a very compelling Icarus-styled story for her.  She figures out her power and decides to put it to good use, but gets in over her head and things just don't turn out the way they were supposed to.  Alternatively, you could write a more Haruhi-esque story, where she has no idea about her powers and the focus is on the people around her dealing with her unconscious manipulations of fate.  This has more potential for a more light hearted story, but with some creative writing both could go either way.

Orin - If you want to stay away from the grim, darker parts then avoid her passion for dead bodies completely.  Similarly to Yuyuko, she can control and communicate with the deceased - your imagination can take you pretty far writing a story like this.  And remember they don't have to be the recently deceased, nor do they have to be angry, vengeful ghosts.  Maybe she makes it her life mission to help the lingering dead pass on peacefully? Only you can tell us!

I tried to avoid going into too much detail, because its more fun if you come up with the core plot points on your own, so I hope these brief blurbs are enough to give you some ideas!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chronopolis on May 25, 2013, 03:00:53 AM
Hello, nice to meet you all, I'm Chrono. It's been fun reading all your guy's ideas.
Hey there everyone. I've been writing fanfics for quite some time. I've decided that I want to write an official touhou fanbook .
Much in the way that Perfect Memento covers the characters themselves and Grimoire of Marisa Covered the spell cards, I want to write something that covers the items and treasures used by the girls. I've committed a lot of research into the subject. I'd like for you guys to take a look at the list. feel free to scrutinize it as hard as possible. I'd like for it to be as accurate as it can be. once the list is finalized, I'll start writing the book
Also, if anyone is simply curious about my new endeavor, feel free to ask whatever you want.
There was one fanbook that was in the same vein.  Beside the art being squee-worthy, I personally find the topic of accessories fascinating.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/touhou-photography-project/touhou-gensou-gahou-4-%E6%9D%B1%E6%96%B9%E5%B9%BB%E6%83%B3%E7%94%BB%E5%A0%B14-review/363965883692109
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on May 27, 2013, 05:08:40 AM
Oh boy, I have so many ideas in my head what I wish I could draw or white full stories of. Here are few of them (tell me if I am doing this wrong) :
-Green Dragon's Scarlet Road
 -A story centering around Meiling before she started working in Scarlet Devil Mansion.
Originally she was a guard for a royal family in China. General focus of it is to make Meiling not the lazy gate guard fandom knowns her as. She is actually good at her job, but not enough to stop the eventual demise of the roal family she had to guard. She would eventually face Sakuya, who is already serving Remilia, to project any inch of worth she has. She would eventually lose to Sakuya, but before her noticing how good she is, making Sakuya take her back to SDM and recuiting her as gate guard.

-Putting out the flames
 -Story focusing on events leading to the abandoning of Former Hell. As in, why the new Hell was formed and people's reaction to it and the fact they should move to it. Currently nothing major to report on story procress.

-Mystery of Alice's Grimoire:
 -Marisa has always wondered what Alice's Grimoire contains, having not seen her open it before (In story, she didn't fight her in Mystic Square's Extra Stage). Due of them being such a good friends, she doesn't want to just break into her house and take it by force, so she decides to do it some other ways. Hillarity Ensues.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 27, 2013, 08:37:25 AM
Quote
DUe of them being good firends, she cannot just break into her house and steal it like that.

*chuckle* Yeah, right.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on May 27, 2013, 11:03:13 AM
*chuckle* Yeah, right.

Hey, if she just decides to steal it by force right at the beggining, there would be no story (unless I pull Mystic Chain). This is actually the story I want to work on, having though up few scenariors for it already.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 27, 2013, 11:48:42 AM
Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against your idea. I just find Marisa's friendly relationship with someone as an excuse for not stealing from them as... amusing to say the least. Just look at how she treats Patchy.  I seriously wonder when will she tackle Kosuzu's bookstore next. Alice is probably safe due to her not having as many/as interesting books as SDM library and Suzunaan.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on May 27, 2013, 12:06:46 PM
Well, Marisa and Patchy aren't friends. But really, I cannot really think of any toher reason why Marisa just doesn't hit and run with the Grimoire. Of course, since the story isn't going to be serious, I guess silly reasoning like that ain't a bad thing.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on May 27, 2013, 12:46:08 PM
Quote
Well, Marisa and Patchy aren't friends.

Canon-wise, she isn't any more friends with Alice than she is with Patchouli.  Both of them assisted her during the games at least once. And besides, this is Touhou, where even best friends have no shame about attacking each other, beating each other up and going home without the slightest hint of regret.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on May 27, 2013, 01:11:48 PM
...Canon is cruel mistress. I guess I have more to think of if I am going to write this story. I try to stick as close to canon as possible, though I have no shame of ignoring some stuff about canon.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Captain Vulcan on May 27, 2013, 05:40:32 PM
Canon-wise, she isn't any more friends with Alice than she is with Patchouli.  Both of them assisted her during the games at least once. And besides, this is Touhou, where even best friends have no shame about attacking each other, beating each other up and going home without the slightest hint of regret.

And really... with friends like them, who needs enemies?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Captain Vulcan on May 27, 2013, 05:55:23 PM
Lately, I've been working on a Maribel and Renko-centered story. I'm only 3 pages in but the prospect of them finally meeting Yukari is saving this story from rotting in a flash drive for all eternity. The Muse is working somewhat, but I am still stomped on a few things:

Should they somehow arrive in Gensokyou (at long last)? How will Maribel react if she is to visit the land she's been seeing in her dreams?

Or...

Let it be a twist of fate kinda thing and have them running into Yukari in the modern world?

These shackles won't come off.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on May 30, 2013, 03:54:36 PM
I have an idea about a story I might do after I am done with my current story but I might need some opinions on it.

Yuuka and Elly: Dream Or Reality
 -For longest time Yuuka has seen the events of Lotus Land Story as one thing: a dream. All the locations, events, characters, everything, was just a dream. However, there is one person from it which is why she still remembers it: Elly. Not only that, but she feels that Elly might have been a real person and that the events of LLS were real. As such,s he sets off to find the truth of this matter.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ShiroiMahotsukai on June 01, 2013, 01:45:30 PM
Hi! This is my first post in this thread so i'm pleased to meet everyone.

I am currently planning to write a Touhou Crossover in which our heroines adhere to the rules of a different Genre of game as strictly as they do to their ow Shmup Spell Card rules. First I'm going to try Disgaea for the SRPG genre (it's the only game in that genre as over-the-top as I think Touhou deserves) and I looking for an opinion on something.

Is it worth trying to make SRPG combat slightly more interesting to read than daily records of grass growing? Or would it be better to simply focus on the action?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on June 02, 2013, 08:16:54 PM
@Toyo,

I'm a bit confused by your title.  Is Letty going to be involved?  Seems rather PC-98 oriented to me, so I'm not sure where the snow-woman's going to fit in.

@Shiroi,

Often times it's hard to tell from a concept how it will turn out.  I've seen some ideas that I'd swear were surefire flops turn into hits, and surefire hits turn into outright disasters.  It all depends on execution.  I'd suggest writing up a practice scene with the Disgaea type rules and shopping it around to beta readers.  Get their reactions and make your decision from that.

@Others,

Now it's time for my question.  Is Iku more of a direct approach girl or would she do some behind-the-scenes sneaky tricks  Say, if the Celestials are trying to get some land back from Suika that a certain hotheaded Celectial gave her?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on June 02, 2013, 08:31:22 PM
@Toyo,

I'm a bit confused by your title.  Is Letty going to be involved?  Seems rather PC-98 oriented to me, so I'm not sure where the snow-woman's going to fit in.
Oh crap, I ment to write Elly, but I accidentally put in Letty. My bad, fixed it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Raikaria on June 02, 2013, 08:49:36 PM
Debating if I should polish and compress the end result of Rumia Quest into a story from it's almost-complete RP form. Sadly it seems to have died just before the climatic battle, and it's irritating to look at my notes and see that untold, meanwhile, I look at the earlier parts, and the development later, and think 'This could have turned out so much better'.

The story is split into multiple arcs, which follow the development of Rumia, as she unlocks the secrets of her past, and makes freindships and rivalries with other characters. I may also include one of the Gaiden arcs, and touch on the other. While the story starts little actually at risk, by the end, the multiverse is at stake. [As things had to grow in scope to become more dangerous to Rumia's growing powers and challenge players. After all, once you've topped the Sue Duo, how do you top that for a sequel? Answer? McGuffins, OC's, and Wild Adaptations on existing characters]

Overall I'd say it's split into four main plotlines:

Canon Rumia Arc
Rika Arc
Yukari Arc [Overlaps with the other two]
Yuuka Arc [Which was unfinished, and the main reason I want to put some time into re-writing this into a story form]
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chronopolis on June 02, 2013, 10:23:42 PM
@Achariyth
Solely based on the fact that she is elegant and somewhat docile on the outside, I'd wager she's capable of doing some dirty business.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on June 03, 2013, 08:46:26 AM
I'd only like to warn everyone new (and not just those who've been following my fic), that due to some bug or whatever, some longer chapters (about 10 k + words, - just a rough estimate) will be cut off when you post them. I learned this the hard way, so it's always better to double-check your posts to see if the whole chapter got posted as intended. If your chapter does get cut off, simply modify your post and copy-paste the rest. It worked for me.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Raikaria on June 03, 2013, 05:10:01 PM
I'd only like to warn everyone new (and not just those who've been following my fic), that due to some bug or whatever, some longer chapters (about 10 k + words, - just a rough estimate) will be cut off when you post them. I learned this the hard way, so it's always better to double-check your posts to see if the whole chapter got posted as intended. If your chapter does get cut off, simply modify your post and copy-paste the rest. It worked for me.

It's not a bug. It's a forum limitation feature. I think it's so there's not *too* much on one page, which would lag up slower computers. Like image limits.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Fonzi on June 03, 2013, 05:30:54 PM
It's not a bug. It's a forum limitation feature. I think it's so there's not *too* much on one page, which would lag up slower computers. Like image limits.

Then perhaps it would be useful if the forum warned the users about reaching the post limit.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Raikaria on June 03, 2013, 08:13:01 PM
Then perhaps it would be useful if the forum warned the users about reaching the post limit.

It may have been overlooked, since it's a standard thing that is in place on most forums. Kinda a default. I'm not even 100% sure that's your issue. It *probobly* is, but the cases where a post reaches that long are rare, but I've seen them before on other, similar, forums.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on July 12, 2013, 05:56:11 AM
Yes.  There is a word list per reply.  We've had people hit it a few times, but in general merely making sure you don't break 10k a post handles the matter.

And it's required so that people don't just toss the entire text of war and peace 10 times onto a single page.  Best to break things up.  Both for readers and the forums.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: DanmakuYokai on November 16, 2013, 04:34:13 AM
I am thinking of making a Touhou x Tales crossover, probably "ripping" the storyline from Tales of Xillia, but changes the characters into our beloved Touhou Casts. This is inspired by an MMD made to mimic the opening of Xillia, but the characters were kind-of mismatched or doesn't fit at all. Since I couldn't make an MMD that is in full-reminiscent to the original MMD itself (and I'm too lazy to do it anyway), I decided to make a fanfiction from an idea of it.

Cast:

Main cast:

Heroes:

Jude        = Marisa Kirisame
Milla       = Reimu Hakurei
Alvin       = Udongein Reisen Inaba
Elize        = Flandre Scarlet
Rowen   = Sakuya Izayoi
Leia         = Alice Margatroid

Driselle   = Koakuma
Cline        = China. Uh, I mean Hong Meiling

Rashugal = Makai

Nachtigal = Shinki
Gilland     = Patchouli Knowledge

Ouj Oule = Celestials

Gaius        = Tenshi Hinanawi
Wingall     = Youmu Konpaku
Presa        = Tewi Inaba
Jiao            = Remilia Scarlet
Agria         = Rumia

Spirits

Maxwell    = Yukari Yakumo
Muzet        = Ran Yakumo
Celcius      = Adult Cirno
Volt            = Iku Nagae
Ivar            = Ruukoto

Alv's bro   = Reisen II

Story:

The story begins when Marisa found out that Mima, her astrology teacher had gone missing. Then it gets jumbled from there.

Differences:

- Flandre and Remilia's relationship will differ from Jiao and Elise as they're sisters.
- Sakuya's previous master is Shinki
- The four great spirits doesn't have names yet
- Alice stand-in parents will be her doll; Shanghai and Hourai.
- Probably adding in many great spirits, such as Aska, Luna, and Shadow.
- Recurring appearance of The Prism Noises, a group of bandit who never learned their lessons, apparently.

Update schedule:

One/Two/Three chapter(s) each month with skits (main, subs, and etc) published when I'm not feeling like Yukari in the winter, starting from mid-December.

Progress:

One chapter halfway done. Story draft completed. A chapter for the sequel starring the Watatsuki sisters, Kaguya, Eiki, and Ruukoto as a badass multi-agent is also being made.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Stifled Voices on January 05, 2014, 10:35:54 PM
I had an idea for a oneshot, based on the Dear Sister SNL short (the aftermath part). It's pretty solid, but I just need to get the time period right; in the Hieda house, instead of a writing desk, what would there be for Tewi to be slumped over (the characters involved are Tewi (who wrote the dear sis letter), Reisen, Akyuu, the other Reisen, and the people who come in afterwards are my OC and Aya.)? A kotatsu?

You know what, f*ck that. I'll just make a fic involving Sanae, Scunnuh and Rayjuu ("Scunner and Raiju" pronounced with a thick Australian accent lol). What would some of the hurdles to posting here be?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Monkeypro257 on January 19, 2014, 06:17:12 AM
I was thinking of making some short stories of everyday life in Gensokyo with comedy and such with different scenarios. I might also put in some of my OC characters into the stories, though not sure of it yet. . . .
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on January 19, 2014, 11:50:44 AM
I had an idea for a oneshot, based on the Dear Sister SNL short (the aftermath part). It's pretty solid, but I just need to get the time period right; in the Hieda house, instead of a writing desk, what would there be for Tewi to be slumped over (the characters involved are Tewi (who wrote the dear sis letter), Reisen, Akyuu, the other Reisen, and the people who come in afterwards are my OC and Aya.)? A kotatsu?
Sure! Or anything really. A big silk pillow, a pile of carrots, a sleeping Reisen.

I was thinking of making some short stories of everyday life in Gensokyo with comedy and such with different scenarios. I might also put in some of my OC characters into the stories, though not sure of it yet. . . .
Gensokyo SoL is the best SoL. In my humble opinion. Do it!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: EndlessBlue on January 30, 2014, 12:52:07 AM
My idea is quite simple. Yuuka vs. Yukari in a battle to see who is strongest ( Cirno cries in the corner).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: FrozenFairy on February 05, 2014, 07:10:46 PM
I'm looking for some help to write a story for an RPG game based on Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy I want to make someday (just as the Story Writer and maybe Game Director though). I actually have a bit written in a Script format! I'm pretty new here though, so I had no idea if I should make a topic about this somewhere or just post here. ^^; But anyway, here's the idea itself (just the story, of course) :

One day, Cirno manages to find a Super Nitori Entertainment System (that's an obvious reference, right?) in the Kourindou. Not knowing how to pay for things, she just takes it and goes play its games at her home. Eventually after days of playing, she somehow gets sucked in by her TV and into the world of her game. It turns out other residents of Gensokyo were transported into the game's world as well. None of them can use their usual abilities though, so they have to fight per the game world's rules. She first encounters Akyuu, who tells her she has a plan to get home but she needs the power of the world's Crystals, so she asks Cirno for help. Yukari's forces also seem to be after the Crystals to take over the game world, so Cirno eventually recruits Hong Meiling, Patchouli and Daiyousei to help her fight Yukari and her minions while gathering all the Crystals.

So, anyone interested? I mean, I could always write this myself, but I'm afraid I need a push to actually get work done on it. ^^;
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: ToyoRai on February 06, 2014, 04:25:56 PM
So with Lotus Dream Tale being finally complete, I got another story idea.

"Around Gensokyo with unknown eyes."
-The story focuses on a human (gender not decided upon, because not sure it the person would be male or female) from the Human Village who finds out that some youkai has stolen something from the person! The person then decides to give chase to get the item what the youkai stole back. By using a spell what causes them to be disguised as an youkai, he leaves the Human Village alone, they leave the Human Village even though they haven't never been outside it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: SIRookie on February 10, 2014, 09:04:05 PM
I was talking with some people recently and came up with this idea: The border falls because [plot], and all outside nations try to claim the new territory. The characters must defend their homeland, but are unable to use magic (and therefore unable to access most of their powers - I.E. no danmaku spam) because there's no magic in the outside world -- although they can regenerate some of it inside their bodies (and maybe through some other means?), it is severely limited and diminishing every day.

I haven't thought much about it besides this, and I want an idea for a conclusion before I attempt anything
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on February 11, 2014, 12:35:25 AM
I was talking with some people recently and came up with this idea: The border falls because [plot], and all outside nations try to claim the new territory. The characters must defend their homeland, but are unable to use magic (and therefore unable to access most of their powers - I.E. no danmaku spam) because there's no magic in the outside world -- although they can regenerate some of it inside their bodies (and maybe through some other means?), it is severely limited and diminishing every day.

I haven't thought much about it besides this, and I want an idea for a conclusion before I attempt anything

Potential conclusions:

The Barrier goes back up, the status quo returns to some/total extent (maybe the outside world doesn't remember Gensokyo because of the barrier going back up, or maybe the outside still remembers Gensokyo despite the barrier, etc.)

Despite the best efforts of Gensokyo's populace, the Barrier permanently falls, leaving its former inhabitants to try and pick up the pieces

As to how these conclusions come about...well, we'll need more details than what's given.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Nicktendonick on February 11, 2014, 02:04:11 AM
There's also one more hitch to this. This would be perfect if Gensokyo fell across multiple borders which would enable the game of which nation owns Gensokyo. The only problem is that Gensokyo is only in one nation, Japan. So, we'd have Gensokyo pop up right in the middle of japan, and in this case it would only be japan trying to reclaim it's own land. Also, food for through, what happened to where the outside world Gensokyo is on? Isn't the barrier right ontop of it, I don't know.

Now, why would there be multiple nations fighting over Japan's Gensokyo? Are other nations fighting for Japan, which caused the barrier to fall, leading to Gensokyo being right in the middle of this conflict?
Now thinking this...this is when the fun part begins. If we're playing that multiple nations are at war, and currently the front line is in japan...how'd that happen? Are people fighting over Japan? maybe the frontline has been being beaten back, falling further and further back. (In this senerio, you could do China vs US. Since the US is Japan's ally, they'd be on their side if China and it's allies tried to take Japan, turning Japan into a battlefield. Playing this more we could play that this is a world war three situation.

Drawing from current world tensions....you got Russia and China, Iran / Middle east (under a "they formed a caliphate (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caliphate) and attempted to take over the world)", USA, England, Japan, Canada are another side, there's the EU as well and that could split by taking sides with the US or Russia, and you also have the North Koreans (who we know are already batshit crazy). You have multiple groups and you can put them together and the more I say this this all sound really more interesting then I thought playing out a actual world war three situation using modern day politics and tensions.
And now very scared thinking about how a WW3 could spark and go, as we live in said world. *shutters*

You can also play this as Japan trying to take the Gensokyo region.

Another, this could cause the end of the masquerade (hey, I'm reminded of Dolphin Rider Koishi. A great story written by Rou that you all should read and that I will endless plug it because i'm a fan) that has always been, leading the world to discover that the fantasy kitchen sink actually exists and everything then goes into chaos.

If youkai from all over the world are coming out of the woodwork the whole world could be thrown into chaos. Youkai who have been in hiding now realize they don't need to anymore. For all you know, Youkai could be in government secretly, or we have groups of Youkai that have been planning to take back earth (instead of hiding and going extinct. "Damn it! Death to Mankind! The era of the Youkai begins now!". You could even have them picking up on human's tactics and using it in addition to their supernatural abilities to fight mankind. "Why be suppressed by these puny humans? We are the superior species, we should be in charge and not in cages"

If Gensokyo's fall is what drops the curtain, Japan's government (read into this and figure out how it works) could be freaking out on the situation of a bunch of superpowered, neigh-indestructible Eldritch Abomination that may or may not want to conquer humanity and decides to clamp down on Gensokyo. Aka, government people come in wearing swat gear and tries to tell the superpowered youkai that you need to leave your home you've lived in for centuries and come with us for a fate unknown. You know exactly how (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FromBadToWorse) that would go down (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoNotTauntCthulhu) and what that (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AwakeningTheSleepingGiant) would lead to. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ThisMeansWar) Gensokyo vs Japan, and leading our heroines to try to find some sort of solution before said war breaks out, or must realize they have to take sides.

This could bring a lot of Tension, that "war about to break out" as the major problem. Such conflict is plot gold, IMO. Such a ending could be that things are peacefully resolved as the masquerade falls across the entire world and youkai peacefully integrate into humanity, partly to thank because of our heroines' actions.

Alright, let's go another path.

Now, let's go with that and go with that human and youkai are at war before the barrier falls. That could also be the reason the barrier is dropping. It's not human conflict but inter-species confict. The Youkai forces have been dropping other barriers thinking they're getting recruits. Humanity seeing the barrier drop fears that the enemy just summoned another group of Eldritch Abominations to kill them. Leading to both sides try to take / destroy Gensokyo, especially if Gensokyo's citizens refuse to slaughter the other species and reject both sides. Gensokyo's citizens might want to decide to stay out of this and would rather raise back up the border giving both sides the finger. You could also play one of the waring factions as the good guys and another as bad. You could have one pure youkai that's trying to exterminate mankind, and the other side that doesn't want to be slaves to this empire. With the barrier of Gensokyo falling, for all we know it could be the turn of the tide with Gensokyo's overpowered fighters helping turn the tide to defeat the evil army. Though, all this dips into a war story territory, and maybe not actually what you were looking for.


But dang I like it, and this all sounds really cool. I won't use it myself, but it's got that "this could be a good idea" type of thing. I hope it inspires a few plotbunnies in you all.

-------

EDIT: Also, another ending, that the barrier does drop and the people of Gensokyo must integrate into the real world, or they take a side with one of those forces, or they just start their own side and save japan.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: capt. h on February 11, 2014, 02:13:54 AM
For the record, while the canon says Gensokyo is in Japan, I do not advise insisting on that point. If your story is better because Gensokyo appears as an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, on a cattle ranch in Texas, or in the middle of the Mediterranean during World War 2, I see no reason to let canon get in the way of that; because 1) fanfiction doesn't have to be canon, and 2) I think the details of where Gensokyo happens to be and how it got there are fuzzy enough that you could get away with hand waiving the location it appears.

(Although admittedly, it would be funny if Gensokyo happened to be a missing Senkaku Island (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Senkaku_Islands).)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Joveus Molai on February 11, 2014, 02:29:42 AM
For the record, while the canon says Gensokyo is in Japan, I do not advise insisting on that point. If your story is better because Gensokyo appears as an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, on a cattle ranch in Texas, or in the middle of the Mediterranean during World War 2, I see no reason to let canon get in the way of that; because 1) fanfiction doesn't have to be canon, and 2) I think the details of where Gensokyo happens to be and how it got there are fuzzy enough that you could get away with hand waiving the location it appears.

That said, I personally would have healthy respect for a fanfic that figures out creative ways to incorporate, get around, or otherwise handwave canon issues.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: SIRookie on February 11, 2014, 02:44:27 AM
I don't know if you guys remember the thing with Sandy Island (http://www.dnaindia.com/scitech/report-how-a-fake-island-existed-on-google-earth-1825268) about a year ago, but I could use that as a location?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Nicktendonick on February 11, 2014, 05:28:38 AM
I don't know if you guys remember the thing with Sandy Island (http://www.dnaindia.com/scitech/report-how-a-fake-island-existed-on-google-earth-1825268) about a year ago, but I could use that as a location?

Anything can work, you have to figure out how it can works. You need to figure out how could Gensokyo's real world location would be Sandy island if it appears in the real world.
How could it get there? What are the effects of it being there?

You need to figure out what you want, then how that can work. You can also work from the end down: What is your desired result, then figure out how you can get that result.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Stifled Voices on February 27, 2014, 04:51:53 AM
Okay, so I want to make to a story involving four touhous exploring Rook Islands from Far Cry 3 LONG AFTER Vaas and Hoyt
are dead and their mighty trafficking empire in ruins
(the Rook Islands I'm using is my own headcanon's twist on them balancing magic and mundane (the pirates were just insane, but there's other magic forces at play), how they went down here is irrelevant but Jason Brody and co never happened). I've already got Kyouko finding Letters of the lost (project
Kyouken
...), Seiga exploring the
Chinese ruins
(and having to deal with unusually aggressive animals that want to eat her because she's a hermit), Nitori exploring the seas nearby ("I sent the two of them on patrol that day. They never came back"), but who's going to be the fourth, most likely, finding the apocalyptic logs that describe the fall of an empire? They're in English, and I need a character with an understanding of English. The likeliest candidates from my headcanon are Letty (western name lol but she's a yuki-onna+ FLASH FREEZE TWIST lol ceph), Aya (requirement for media field lol), someone from the SDM house (Europeans...), Satori (interference with main canon from my own OC), Marisa (Western-STYLED), Alice (thought about it on a whim and went with it), Sanae (well, just my headcanon, if she didn't take some kind of English course before coming to Gensokyo then fuck me) and Kogasa (SURPRISE).

tl;dr Letty, Aya, SDM member, Satori, Marisa, Alice, Sanae or Kogasa for reading the logs in English, from my headcanon. What other candidates for the fourth role will you suggest from your own headcanons (That aren't Marisa, Alice, Yukari (This is during winter, so no) or SDM)?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: SusiKette on March 02, 2014, 11:35:42 PM
I have few ideas for a story around a character I made, but I'm not sure which one is better in gereral or what people like more. Both ideas are in very beginning stage still, but I want to hear peoples opinions.

General info about the character I made (the stuff I have planned so far):

Species: Eclipse Wolf
Gender: Female
Ability: Creating Solar Eclipses:
-Eclipse type (Total, Annular, partial)
-Eclipse duration
-Location of the Umbra (moon's shadow)
Appearance: Hair and clothes are black (I might make her appearance change a little depending on the eclipse type if it even is a good idea)
Strength: During Total eclipse she is strong, however withour an eclipse she is fairly weak. Also, the longer the eclipse she has made is there, the faster she gets exhausted (the how "perfect" the eclipse is also matters) and if she runs out of stamina or faints the eclipse will cancel automatically.

Here is the first idea:

A total sloar eclipse occures in Gensokyo. This is new to most youkai which causes abnormal behaviour for them. Reimu goes to "exterminate" the youkai with another human (who got spirited away some time before the eclipse). Soon Yukari tells Reimu that the eclipse is lasting abnormally long and that someone might cause it. Then Reimu and the other human starts to look for the one behind the eclipse. They find the Eclipse Wolf who then tells them that she was rejected from any human/youkai settlements she tried visiting (and wanted to live at). She created the eclipse to summon Flying Shadows as her "friends". Reimu and the human defates her, and the human decides to live with her preventing the same thing happening again.

Here is the second idea:

The Eclipse Wolf saves a human (just spirited away) from a youkai and offers him a place to live. Because the Eclipse Wolf was lonely, she becomes paranoid about someone coming and taking the human away from her, which causes her to become hostile towards others.

That's all I have planned so far.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Arcorann on March 31, 2014, 12:32:59 PM
Writing this down before I forget (to be edit-completed): The Infinite Loops - Touhou. AFAIK no-one has attempted this before, while the potential only came to me last week.

For those who aren't familiar with this shared universe:

Quote from: TVTropes (usual warnings apply) link=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheInfiniteLoops
The Infinite Loops, also known as the Innortal-style Time Loops, are an ever-expanding genre of Time Loop fanfics.
The premise is that something has happened to Yggdrasil, the World Tree computer that contains and runs the multiverse. As a result, the various universes have been put in 'safe mode', time-looping until Yggdrasil can be repaired. Each universe's loop is maintained by the presence of an Anchor, a core person from that loop who is the first to notice their universe is looping. There is always an Anchor in a Loop.
As repairs to Yggdrasil continue, more people in each universe begin Looping as well, but are not necessarily aware participants in every Loop; only the Anchor is so blessed..or cursed. Your mileage may vary. Characters that are aware of the Loops and retain memories of their previous go-arounds are termed "Awake".
In addition, Fused Loops allow Loopers from different universes to interact. As a given, Loopers are tremendously stir-crazy due to the loops. Hilarity usually ensues.

More detailed mechanics can be found in this thread on Spacebattles. (http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/infinite-time-loops-miscellaneous-section-part-2.288478/) I have a rough outline of base mechanics (~10.5 years, Summer 2003-Winter 2014 and expanding slowly, Reimu is of course the logical choice for anchor), the first part of Reimu's first loop awake and ideas for a few others.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: UnendingEmpire on April 02, 2014, 06:13:44 PM
Thinking to write a badass yet comedic crossover between Touhou & Fist of the North Star (the former's characters and approximate world, the latter's setting and general plot), starring these characters among others:
Reisen
Yuugi
Kokoro
Mokou
Sakuya
Orange

EDIT:
Reisen
isn't certain, though.  Might get replaced.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: FrozenFairy on May 15, 2014, 07:06:09 PM
Basically, my idea for a story to write would be have Touhou's setting be the modern Outside world, where Gensokyo would be a city in Japan instead of a(n awesome) mystical land hidden in Japan. The characters aged from 15 to 17 or 18 would all go to the same high school where Yukari is the principal and Ran her vice principal. Reimu would be some sort of hall monitor and still live inside the Hakurei Shrine. Mima could be Marisa's real (living) mother (since I really like that fan theory). Cirno and the rest of "Team 9" would be the neighborhood kids that go to Keine's school. Remilia and Flandre would obviously be the rich kids. All the main Touhou characters would still have their powers anyway and would be able to fight youkai wherever they might pop up.

Problem is, that's about all I got. I dunno how to start or who'd be the main characters, let alone how they get to their first problem or encounter with a youkai. Heck, I don't even know if the idea sounds appealing to anyone. A little help here?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Misfortune! on May 27, 2014, 02:56:30 AM
My idea condenses down to a Touhou AU with heavy inspiration from Guilty Gear. A bit of character-reinterpretation here, a bit of alternate costumes there. And all that condenses down to "What if they used physical battles instead of danmaku battles?"

I wanna give the two antagonists (both OCs) before I give the fleshed-out idea (Or at least when I finally decide to work on it.)

Name: Akane Kimura
Gender: Female
Species: Unknown
Appearance: Long, dark red hair. Wears a black, open vest, with a sarashi around her chest. She wears casual jeans, with two belts on her left calf. Red eyes. Long claws.
General Information: She's reckless, but somehow always come out the winner. All her victims are unrecognizable, and she's incredibly fast. As far as her past goes, she has revealed nothing, and there are no records of her. We strongly believe her to be something more than a youkai, maybe a god. Direct confrontation is heavily discouraged. Based on this information, we give Akane Kimura the Risk Level of S+

Name: 'Daredevil' (Real name unknown)
Gender: Male
Species: Changeling
Appearance: A long, slender, black body. He seems to have no mouth, and only two, piercing white eyes. He has two large wings, but has never been seen using these.
General Information: His actual skill in battle is currently unknown, as he only resorts to using his ability to shapeshift into someone. From our battle data, we theorize that when he shapeshifts, he transforms into the last person he saw. Our theory seems correct, but we have yet to confirm this. Reports say he has been seen with Akane, so he must have connections to her, possibly a servant. Even after he transforms, he's not to incredibly dangerous, as we have been able to defeat him multiple times yet Akane still holds on to him. We might be able to exploit this in future plans. Based on this information, we give Daredevil the Risk Level of C+.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kaizaki on June 27, 2014, 05:20:09 AM
My first two fic ideas are light-hearted TeruMoko, because I think the world doesn't have enough of it (not to me, at least  :ohdear:). They will also mainly feature characters from IN. I'll be following Kaguya's canonical depiction, because 1) her canon personality is awesome, and 2) it gives her more depth (and, therefore, more to work with) than the fandom NEET and lunatic interpretation of her.

Fic idea #1:
"Slice of life" is the closest description I can give this. It's about Kaguya wanting to see the Outside World after having explored most of Gensokyo. Eirin, ever accommodating and not seeing anything wrong with her request (Lunarians wouldn't think of finding them in the throngs of "impure" Earthlings), asks Yukari on the matter. The gap youkai agrees to accompany them outside, acting as a guide and bringing them back through the border after an agreed duration (still undecided).

Kaguya, excited with the prospects, then asks Sanae for pointers regarding the modern world, who in turn is really happy to find someone willing to listen and learn. Eirin, in the meantime, works on a drug to make Reisen and Tewi look less bunny. Kaguya tells Mokou the news and says that she won't be seeing her in a while. Mokou thinks nothing of it at first and tells Keine nonchalantly, saying that she's glad about not having to see the princess for some time. But then, she starts having thoughts of Kaguya leaving Gensokyo (much like in CiLR, even if it's temporary), then declares that she'll follow the princess on the pretext that she'll ensure the girl won't cause trouble like "last time" (Tale of the Bamboo-Cutter). Keine decides to come along for the educational value and because school's out (and to keep an eye on Mokou).

Kaguya is happy to hear that Mokou's tagging along, much to the latter's annoyance. Likewise with Eirin to Keine, so that she won't have her hands full with the two immortals. For the finishing touches, they will all have to wear modern clothes to not stand out (Mokou in a leather jacket, yo!).

That's it for the premise and intro. I have a handful of ideas for the shenanigans they'll get up to, although I haven't fleshed them out yet. Some examples are:

Ugh, it's getting late, so I'll post my second fanfiction idea next time. Also, this is my first post, so hi all!  :3
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: aranicar on July 22, 2014, 03:55:07 AM
Hi, fairly new here so I don't know my way around.  Is there a place where writers can post up ideas on world building/creation?  I know this thread is more about story ideas, but it's the closest thing I could find to what I was looking for.  I have some ideas about economics, politics, technology, etc... that I want to make sure isn't complete nonsense.

My story is really an AU about a futuristic Outside world discovering Gensokyo and the tension that arises between them.

A rapid advancement in technology caused by the discovery of a Lunarian artifact and the subsequent assault on the Lunarian capital allowed the world to discover new fundamental concepts of science, which revealed Gensokyo from decades of hiding.  As the world neared an energy crisis, the prospect of deriving energy from beings and locations of great spiritual power drove the Outside to subjugate and conquer Gensokyo.  The operation was successfully hidden until one day a youkai extraction failed.  Gensokyo retaliates, and war erupts.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hello Purvis on July 22, 2014, 02:02:05 PM
Sounds like FFVI but more grimdark.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on July 29, 2014, 10:59:25 PM
For whatever reason I have this idea for a brutal and bloody shounen-style fic (basically Akame Ga Kill: Touhou Style) because why not but I'm honestly trying to figure out what to do.

I could have OC's as the villains, but that could get stale and spotlight-taking. I want it to use the concept "other Gensokyou's" as well. Decisions, decisions...

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Propman on August 21, 2014, 08:33:22 AM
An outline for a story that would likely span a whole series has been digging itself into my head for months now, to the point where it's been leaking into my other works and I figure that now is as good a time as ever to at least partially write it up so to be done with it. Of course, given the large amount of topics it spans, I've decided that the best course of action would be to break it down into smaller tales, starting with the very beginning in order to gauge whether or not such a yarn is ultimately too ludicrous to bother with.

And thus I shall tell of the basic plot I am planning on using for the first section of the overall arc. A leprechaun in Gensokyo.

By leprechaun, I mean the short, green-clad, bearded (though not our particular example who is relatively young) Irish fairy-man that hides his pot of gold behind a rainbow and makes shoes.

Basically, this whole ordeal started formulating after reading Wild and Horned Hermit: The greater implication it made was that there are seemingly closed of areas similar to Gensokyo within other parts of the world, which means that many apparently mythological/legendary creatures might exist from beyond the confines of the boarder, in a sense. Of course, as Gensokyo seems to have become more and more of a "global dumping ground" for such supernatural oddities, smaller ones are ultimately dispersed and condensed, displacing the local populace into environments that barely suit their needs, resulting in youkai (and fairy) outsiders.

 Hence we enter the story of our subject leprechaun, whose community is the target of one of these dumpings into the boarder, leaving himself and his kin to fend off against a hostile, alien landscape, exploring how said supernatural outsiders function to such an event, as well as digging into many of the deeper implications found within fairy society. Namely, the fact that no male fairies exist in Gensokyo up to that point (and vice-versa from the plane the leprechauns are pulled from) gets explored as well as the ways that the two types of fae are similar and different from a physical, mental, and cultural standpoint, many leprechaun tropes (for example, leprechauns are interpreted as fairies which embody wealth itself, and their pots of gold are as important to them as the elements are to other fairies), the relationship between fairies and youkai, and a look into the lives of the fae, and how such an event will ultimately not only effect their society, but the order of Gensokyo as a whole.

Other then the leprechaun himself (as well as a handful of other chaunic characters), Cirno, the three fairies of light, and Daiyousei will be major characters, while Lily White will make a notable appearance as well and Photon/Koushi/Rengeteki could show up as a cameo, both possibly gaining more importance if I ever get beyond this story. Cirno especially plays a large part in how the overall setting will ultimately unfold in regards to how the chauns' and fairies come to view each other, whether for better or worse, and becomes the focus herself in large portions of the tale.

Also throw in some Marisa shenanigans trying to catch leprechauns for three wishes (hint: any leprechaun strong enough to preform such a feat wouldn't let himself be caught by a human in the first place).

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on September 26, 2014, 01:17:21 AM
Okay I actually have something a little more concrete now. We all like alternate Gensokyo's, right?

In this fic idea, there is an alternate Gensokyo that is very similar to the one we know, with even basically the same characters (though subtly different--I may change this and use OC's, but I don't want to make THAT many and the idea of exploring the canon cast through parallel selves who grew up in a different world is interesting). There is one massive difference, however: the spell card system doesn't exist, and danmaku duels are fatal. Every member of this Gensokyo lives by this one axiom: "When two people or youkai meet in a danmaku duel, one will die.*"

Then somehow (maybe Yukari barrier shenanigans or the Lunarians doing crazy science shit) this Gensokyo gets connected to the one we all know and love and then...I dunno what to do from there. I don't want to do a generic "save the world" plot but I'm stuck when it comes to actually creating some kind of conflict. The two Gensokyo's getting into a tiff sounds so generic...I'll need to keep this in the oven a little longer.

*Excluding those who are already dead like Ghosts
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on September 26, 2014, 03:28:20 AM
Okay I actually have something a little more concrete now. We all like alternate Gensokyo's, right?

In this fic idea, there is an alternate Gensokyo that is very similar to the one we know, with even basically the same characters (though subtly different--I may change this and use OC's, but I don't want to make THAT many and the idea of exploring the canon cast through parallel selves who grew up in a different world is interesting). There is one massive difference, however: the spell card system doesn't exist, and danmaku duels are fatal. Every member of this Gensokyo lives by this one axiom: "When two people or youkai meet in a danmaku duel, one will die.*"

Then somehow (maybe Yukari barrier shenanigans or the Lunarians doing crazy science shit) this Gensokyo gets connected to the one we all know and love and then...I dunno what to do from there. I don't want to do a generic "save the world" plot but I'm stuck when it comes to actually creating some kind of conflict. The two Gensokyo's getting into a tiff sounds so generic...I'll need to keep this in the oven a little longer.

*Excluding those who are already dead like Ghosts
The big difficulty you'll have is making this at all reasonable.  For example, why is anyone level alive in your Gensouyko?  Obviously danmaku duels are... less common.  Either that or Reimu's sitting on top of a pile of corpses at the shrine.

This page from Unknown Armies comes to mind.  Mainly because I saw it linked today.  http://i.imgur.com/23whI1D.jpg

Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on September 26, 2014, 04:06:34 AM
You're right: they are much rarer in this alternate Gensokyo. The denizens of this one find the sheer frivolity and frequent use of danmaku duels in the canon Gensokyo to be insane/abhorrent, since in theirs it's something you only do when you are SERIOUS.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Spotty Len on September 26, 2014, 07:02:54 AM
You're right: they are much rarer in this alternate Gensokyo. The denizens of this one find the sheer frivolity and frequent use of danmaku duels in the canon Gensokyo to be insane/abhorrent, since in theirs it's something you only do when you are SERIOUS.
Would that be enough to start an incident though? I don't know if there would be enough people caring about that, even if this alternate Gensokyo would be much more serious if it is like you said.

Maybe that alternate Gensokyo could encounter an incident itself, and the canon Gensokyo would come to help and resolve it, since they can do danmaku without killing people. That's a little less generic than a Gensokyo vs Gensokyo situation.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on November 10, 2014, 01:22:00 AM
Well, ignore my previous idea, because right now I'm working on what can only be described as the Touhou version of Thirty H's, except not as absurd and with a kind of coherent plot. The events in it may be absurd, but the characters are in-character (or I'm at least trying to keep them in-character).

Except trying to get that delicate balance of Thirty H's "dear god what in the fuck is going on" and actually making things coherent is pretty damn difficult. Oh well. 

To get a feel for what kind of story I'm writing: It starts with Byakuren and Yukari having a casual everyday conversation while dodging flaming rain like it's danmaku. Then Nitori crashes into Reimu's shrine and burns it to the ground. Whenever Keine shows up I call her Keine I-Am-Literally-Not--Even-Going-To-Attempt-Spelling-This-Shit. The story sometimes goes into second-person from the perspective of a canon character thanks to Yukari's shenanigans, with absurd amounts of fourth-wall-breaking and snark. "Yukari" is a verb. Things only get more crazy.

EDIT: Actually, the more I write this, the more it becomes a Nichijou-esque surreal comedy instead of...whatever Thirty H's was. I really have no idea what to do with this fic...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Your Everyday NEET on November 14, 2014, 10:04:23 AM
Hello, my name is Your Everyday NEET but you can call me YEN. This is my first post in this topic.

My first fanfic idea is about a Let's play of Touhou Fangames by the girls themselves. They are going to play some of the hardest fangames out there that can make a normal person smash their controller. This fic is going to function as a cross between walkthrough and a let's play.
Is this idea going to work?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on November 14, 2014, 03:24:46 PM
Hello, my name is Your Everyday NEET but you can call me YEN. This is my first post in this topic.

My first fanfic idea is about a Let's play of Touhou Fangames by the girls themselves. They are going to play some of the hardest fangames out there that can make a normal person smash their controller. This fic is going to function as a cross between walkthrough and a let's play.
Is this idea going to work?
Rather easily, since doing LPs in character has a very long tradition.  The question is can you make a fun walkthrough/LP.  If so adding Touhou shouldn't be too much harder.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Your Everyday NEET on November 15, 2014, 05:52:16 AM
Is that so~? I never seen anybody doing it. I can make rage moment but making text based LP is rather hard. I think it's easier to make LP on RPG games. Do you have any game recommendation perhaps?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: divinefrog on December 10, 2014, 05:34:32 AM
Is there any interest at all in small stories centered around little character interactions, like Alice meeting Flandre (and becoming friends, much to Remilia's annoyance) or Medicine slowly learning to cope with the world outside her flower field (in a way that does not involve delicious poison murder)?

I've been toying with a few ideas- not quite day-to-day life in Gensokyo, but possible little character moments we probably won't see in canon.

I was also hoping to explore two somewhat longer ideas - the slow progression from Maribel to Yukari (with lots of Ran character development) and the idea of Alice's arrival in Gensokyo - including a somewhat in-depth look at her nature... Rather, I have a headcanon that Alice is something of a composite of the "child" Alice that Shinki made and the pseudo-mythological idea of an "Alice in Wonderland," which Shinki used as a base. It's hard to describe in brief, but I feel like Gensokyo is the land of myth and legend, so it's pretty hard to cross over without actually having some part of you that is at least a story (or you know, Yukari, but ssshhh).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on December 27, 2014, 12:13:38 AM
A while ago, I decided to take on the self-imposed challenge of creating 7 Touhou OC's for a hypothetical fangame (one for each stage, and an Extra Stage boss). I gave them names (using kanji like the actual Touhou characters), titles, theme titles, and even have made dialogue for stages 1-6 for Reimu (I don't plan on actually making the game, I just used this as a framing device). The catch? They were all guys. I wanted to show that male Touhou OC's can fit perfectly into the thematics of the setting if their creator makes this a goal.

That's not the interesting part. Now, the stage 6 boss of this "game", Ouzaki Nagaharu, is a youkai of flowers and blossoms. He owns a mansion named Koukaden ("Palace of Infinite Flowers" or "Endless Flower Palace") with a massive garden named Daiouen ("Garden of the Great King"). His incident was causing Gensokyo to be overrun by flowers in an attempt to make it more beautiful (he's a prettyboy who is obsessed with beauty). After Reimu and Marisa beat the hell out of him, he decides to turn Daiouen into a tourist attraction, charging people money to go see the flowers there. I want to write a fic from his perpsective as he manages the garden and deals with all the unique personalities of Gensokyo from Miko to Byakuren to Remilia to Kaguya to...I think you get what I mean. Ouzaki is also highly focused on gaining connections in Gensokyo, so he's also trying to schmooze with all the various big-shot names...whether or not he succeeds in getting on their good side is a whole 'nother story.

The other OC's I made will show up; Ouzaki's a got a male kappa (stage 3 boss) and male bakeneko (stage 4) for gardeners, a crossbow-wielding butler (stage 5), and knows this young celestial boy (extra stage) as well, but the 2hus wont be shafted. There's also this 5-tailed kitsune boy (stage 2) and this young crow tengu boy (stage 1) but they don't deal with him much, so they wont show up as often.

Who would be interested in reading this? It'll mostly be a comedy fic as Ouzaki's...forceful and sometimes-insufferably-melodramatic personality clashes with that of our oh-so-loved 2hus, but it will also be serious as he adjusts to life in Gensokyo and naturalizes. If your answer can be boiled to ">male OC's" or "KEEP MY VIRGINIAL YURI WAIFU AWAY FROM HORRIBLE MEN YOU LOSER FUCK" then just don't answer in the first place.

There will be no OCxcanon romance, except for the aforementioned Bakeneko who is hopelessly in love with Orin--but it's one-sided and she isn't even aware of it so it's mostly comedy fuel. Ouzaki himself is...ambiguously bisexual and therefore doesn't really have an interest in any 2hus; his butler and the celestial boy, on the other hand...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Damien on December 27, 2014, 06:28:48 AM
A while ago, I decided to take on the self-imposed challenge of creating 7 Touhou OC's for a hypothetical fangame (one for each stage, and an Extra Stage boss). I gave them names (using kanji like the actual Touhou characters), titles, theme titles, and even have made dialogue for stages 1-6 for Reimu (I don't plan on actually making the game, I just used this as a framing device). The catch? They were all guys. I wanted to show that male Touhou OC's can fit perfectly into the thematics of the setting if their creator makes this a goal.

That's not the interesting part. Now, the stage 6 boss of this "game", Ouzaki Nagaharu, is a youkai of flowers and blossoms. He owns a mansion named Koukaden ("Palace of Infinite Flowers" or "Endless Flower Palace") with a massive garden named Daiouen ("Garden of the Great King"). His incident was causing Gensokyo to be overrun by flowers in an attempt to make it more beautiful (he's a prettyboy who is obsessed with beauty). After Reimu and Marisa beat the hell out of him, he decides to turn Daiouen into a tourist attraction, charging people money to go see the flowers there. I want to write a fic from his perpsective as he manages the garden and deals with all the unique personalities of Gensokyo from Miko to Byakuren to Remilia to Kaguya to...I think you get what I mean. Ouzaki is also highly focused on gaining connections in Gensokyo, so he's also trying to schmooze with all the various big-shot names...whether or not he succeeds in getting on their good side is a whole 'nother story.

The other OC's I made will show up; Ouzaki's a got a male kappa (stage 3 boss) and male bakeneko (stage 4) for gardeners, a crossbow-wielding butler (stage 5), and knows this young celestial boy (extra stage) as well, but the 2hus wont be shafted. There's also this 5-tailed kitsune boy (stage 2) and this young crow tengu boy (stage 1) but they don't deal with him much, so they wont show up as often.

Who would be interested in reading this? It'll mostly be a comedy fic as Ouzaki's...forceful and sometimes-insufferably-melodramatic personality clashes with that of our oh-so-loved 2hus, but it will also be serious as he adjusts to life in Gensokyo and naturalizes. If your answer can be boiled to ">male OC's" or "KEEP MY VIRGINIAL YURI WAIFU AWAY FROM HORRIBLE MEN YOU LOSER FUCK" then just don't answer in the first place.

There will be no OCxcanon romance, except for the aforementioned Bakeneko who is hopelessly in love with Orin--but it's one-sided and she isn't even aware of it so it's mostly comedy fuel. Ouzaki himself is...ambiguously bisexual and therefore doesn't really have an interest in any 2hus; his butler and the celestial boy, on the other hand...

Well... seems in canon that most of the characters themselves is ambiguously asexual
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on December 27, 2014, 06:48:03 AM
In fanworks they often aren't though. My point was that Ouzaki isn't really interesting in romancing a 2hu so people who hate OCxcanon romance don't start accusing me of pairing up an OC with my waifu.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Damien on December 27, 2014, 07:37:19 AM
In fanworks they often aren't though. My point was that Ouzaki isn't really interesting in romancing a 2hu so people who hate OCxcanon romance don't start accusing me of pairing up an OC with my waifu.

Yeah. It's kinda refreshing to see a male OC in Touhou that isn't focused on romance and being Marty Stu all the time.

Although the role is already fulfilled by Rinnosuke himself, the fandom twisted him into a leecher or playboy, even tough he doesn't have any slight of interest to the girls canonically.

I'm afraid the fandom will always see the Male character in Touhou as a pervert or a playboy no matter what (seeing what the doujinshi community have portrayed the male characters in the NSFW doujins).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on December 27, 2014, 06:31:01 PM
Well, I think very little is written in stone where the fandom is concerned. If a writer wants to drop a male OC into Gensokyo and take an unconventional approach, all the better. Some people will undoubtedly have kneejerk reactions, but pretty much every writer has to contend with that.

I say go for it and let the story speak for itself.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Razzi Zadhna on December 27, 2014, 08:43:36 PM
Well, I think very little is written in stone where the fandom is concerned. If a writer wants to drop a male OC into Gensokyo and take an unconventional approach, all the better. Some people will undoubtedly have kneejerk reactions, but pretty much every writer has to contend with that.

You know, it's kinda sad that having a male touhou OC who isn't an overpowered gappy stu who fucks the whole canon cast or who isn't a spineless harem protagonist who somehow still gets the author's waifu is considered "unconventional"...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Delfigamer on February 09, 2015, 03:44:44 PM
I was also hoping to explore two somewhat longer ideas - the slow progression from Maribel to Yukari (with lots of Ran character development)
(http://i.imgur.com/7idB8zs.png)
Would love to read that. I think it's pretty obvious why though ← ↓↓
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tsuken Yasashi on March 18, 2015, 05:14:40 AM
I actually have my novel series mapped out for the most part - From Characters and their development phases over the course of the series to the story structure base done.  Now I just need to integrate the settings of the book series to the story structure and then prepare for typing out the first draft of the first of three books.

HINT HINT: The story involves Renko trying to find Maribel after she turned into Yukari, which, in turn, tells how Maribel became Yukari as the story unfolds.  At the same time, a Martial Artist seeks to create his own style of fighting, who inadvertently gets dragged into Renko's search efforts for the missing Maribel across Japan, which they both get separated in Gensokyo upon entering the land.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Kokopelli on March 30, 2015, 11:15:29 PM
Hi, This is my first post but I have a collection of ideas (most of them crossovers). My major problem is that I have a bad habit of coming up with outlines and not actually writing anything down.

Anyway, from order of possible length (longest to shortest):
So that's what I have. I'm going to start work on the Feegle/ Touhou idea after I post this but I would love any constructive criticism if I can get around to writing something.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Berzul on April 03, 2015, 07:39:47 PM
http://pastebin.com/J2p9Sic7

Scroll down

It's terrible I won't complete it ever.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tsuken Yasashi on April 03, 2015, 08:25:43 PM
http://pastebin.com/J2p9Sic7

Scroll down

It's terrible I won't complete it ever.
You were doing good, until the action sequences happened.  Gotta describe what happened during that fight.  It was vague near the end, and if you would have continued it, the story would have been great.

Say, is that your first time writing a short story?  If it was, then it turned out all right, despite its quirks and flaws.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Berzul on April 04, 2015, 08:08:05 AM
Say, is that your first time writing a short story?
That is just a draft, and I did wrote actual stories before. That's why I make notes before starting, and no I don't plan to work on it as I already said...
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tsuken Yasashi on April 04, 2015, 02:04:32 PM
That is just a draft, and I did wrote actual stories before. That's why I make notes before starting, and no I don't plan to work on it as I already said...
Well, cut your losses and begin a new project, as what they say owo;;  Looking forward for you next one~!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on April 18, 2015, 08:19:53 AM
I hope I'm not bumping, but this is important to me so...

http://flandre495.deviantart.com/journal/Fifty-Scores-of-Grey-527588779
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Komeiji11 on May 08, 2015, 06:45:46 AM
As it may or may not be easy to tell through my username, I'm a huge Koishi fan. This is for a variety of reasons (one being that she's so darn cute!) but the main being that when I read her back story she was a character I strongly connected with.  There were certain events in my life that caused me to seal away aspects of myself and live my life like the piece of paper in the wind Koishi does.  There was a large period of my life where I felt nothing and shut myself away from any bonds between people, acting only the way society wanted me to. I believe that, although not exactly the same way, this kind of phenomenon that Koishi is going through is completely possible, and I tend to describe as being rejected so hard that you reject yourself. These are experiences that I would like to write about and possibly (hopefully) publish at a later time to bring attention to it but I'm not sure how to approach writing about it. I'm not too comfortable writing an autobiographical tale but I'd like to keep some realism in it and not just write a novel or a fantasy with similar situations. If I'm completely stumped for a really long time I may just do tale based on my life but I wanted to hear if anyone has any ideas here. This is particularly close topic to my heart going from "a little pebble on the side of the road" to learning how to love and open up to others and is a story that I think needs to be told.

Hopefully this has a place here and isn't too depressing or anything. Thank you for reading this and for any ideas in advance!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on July 07, 2015, 06:34:52 PM
So, not really a story idea or an outline, but I've got about 2/3rds to 3/4ths of a chapter that needs to be taken back behind the woodshed and either beaten into shape or shot so that the muse (Thalia, that fickle *ahem*-) might deign to return...

Would be willing to post it here or in the library that it might be a warning learning opportunity for other writers, or sent privately to some generous script doctor who could help breath it back to life.  The general style is pulp as written by someone who has lately read too much Wolfe, Wright, Eco, and Hughart.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Pooninpigmenspeakalot on July 09, 2015, 01:09:10 AM
I've got a very ambitious idea. At the core it's a massive crossover between Touhou, this little-known strategy game called Dominions, and a -lot- of other media. I suppose I'll have to explain Dominions first.

In Dominions, various pretender gods fight for true ascendancy via the nations that worship them. These nations are based off of mythologies and cultures from every place and time in human history: there are nations based off the Aztec and Incan Empires, the Roman Empire, Ancient Greece, Imperial China, Eastern European folklore such as the Fae, African Tribal Confederations, even the apocryphal Jewish writings. Power levels reach insanely high, with the mightiest mages able to conjure up second suns that make the world unbearably hot, plunge the world into eternal night, accelerate time so that all living things die from old age in a few years, call creatures from the most nightmarish landscapes to serve them, etc. etc. That is to say, the horrendously overpowered Touhou characters will not feel out of place among the horrendously overpowered beings of this setting.

Gensokyo itself is dropped into the world. Rather, the inhabitants of Gensokyo now perceive the "outside world" to be the world of Dominions, and anyone may cross the border by passing beneath the gate at Hakurei Shrine. This change happens without warning or explanation, and the story starts shortly after that. Some will ignore it, but the barrier shift causes problems for lots of people - Reimu, Yukari, and Eiki, for example. Others, such as Kanako&co., Yuuka, and Yuyuko&Youmu cross over for their own reasons, some more permanent than others. I don't want to get too deep into the plot here, but there will be a massively epic plot. That's the plan, at least.

Other crossovers, why? Because there are some very interesting characters I've experienced in other media that have room to develop, and some aren't even in the fantasy genre (they are, however, still really powerful). And since basically all media has some cultural/mythological influence, I can drop them off in a region which corresponds to that influence. Gensokyo, for example, gets dropped off near the Japanese-and-Chinese-based region.

Original characters. Not a favored thing, and I understand that. But these OCs are designed to be able to stand up on their own and only tangentially interact with existing characters unless it serves a real purpose. I disdain self-insert Gary Stu OCs much as the next guy, so I won't write them.

Lastly, character development. This isn't just a story of "Touhou characters beat the shit out of various outsider people/monsters/gods/C'thulhu's", although there will be a good bit of it. Rather, I want to give many characters drastic development via this extremely unusual occurrence. It's hard to explain. But as they say, good stories are character driven rather than plot driven.

I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this idea in the thread, but I'd rather not divulge specific details here. Writing has been commenced, but it goes slowly. Email me for additional information or suggestions.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on July 11, 2015, 12:05:43 AM
Given the lack of detail it's hard to give better advice, but based on what you've said here:

The big issue is epics are a bad idea.  Because while many people start long epic works that are going to be totally awesome, in the history of this board only about 3 have actually finished and all were by writers who'd already completed shorter works.  If you really want to do this you're going to need a solid outline, a lot of determination and a chunk of free time.  And even then you may fail.  Given your description a series of shorter stories might work better anyway, especially given the scope you're considering working in.

As for the rest, the idea sounds like it could be interesting, but you're going to have to spend a lot of work on it.  None of the things you've said are inherently dealbreakers, but you're going to need to justify it through your writing, not through what you think is acceptable to the audience.  It's going to be especially difficult because you're going to need to introduce your vision of Touhou in addition to a whole bunch of other characters.  I suggest making sure your less known characters conform to the story as opposed to the other way around.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on August 25, 2015, 02:21:30 PM
A question for the Japanese speakers:

Is there an equivalent of Octavian  ("The Eighth"/"Eighth Son") in Japanese.  If not, what are some male names that are based around the number "8"? 

And for the mods:

Is there a better thread than this for "story research" questions?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on August 25, 2015, 02:47:56 PM
A question for the Japanese speakers:

Is there an equivalent of Octavian  ("The Eighth"/"Eighth Son") in Japanese.  If not, what are some male names that are based around the number "8"? 

Ichiro means first son, so I imagine hachiro, yaro or some other kanji pronunciation variant of 8 would work.

Quote
And for the mods:

Is there a better thread than this for "story research" questions?
Nah, here is fine.  It's not like it's interrupting a huge conversation or anything.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Achariyth on August 26, 2015, 05:53:03 PM
Thank you.  I was leaning towards Hachiro, but my Japanese is even worse than my non-existent Latin.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: TwilightsCall on August 27, 2015, 04:51:41 AM
A brief search reveals "Hachirouta" (八郎太) as a masculine name, though its rare enough as to probably only exist in fiction.

Alternatively, the cheater's way to produce a boy's name in Japanese is to take the word you like, and then add -tarou to the end. For example, in the Japanese folk tale of the Peach Boy, the main character's name is Momotarou (momo = peach, tarou=son, or a rough equivalent). So a much more natural sounding name would be Hachitarou (八太郎).

There are other ways you could do it (like the one Iced mentioned), but in my opinion that would be the most natural (and thus realistic) sounding name.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on September 04, 2015, 09:38:15 AM
Does anyone know how a crossover between Touhou and Inside Out should work out? I'm thinking more among the lines of the events of Inside Out re-adapted into an incident in Gensokyo with a happiness incarnate who just wants to make her master happy as the mastermind behind the incident.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Colticide on December 05, 2015, 05:42:08 PM
Been deciding on if I should post here or not but I do have a few questions. I've got a game I've been working on for some time but now finally have a story synopsis done for the main parts, but I have no idea where to start. I have an idea how to start the story but I'm afraid of being too generic or not having a good enough hook to keep the readers attention. Should I work on the story as I work on my game or should I type out the story first and work on the game after?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on December 05, 2015, 08:24:59 PM
Been deciding on if I should post here or not but I do have a few questions. I've got a game I've been working on for some time but now finally have a story synopsis done for the main parts, but I have no idea where to start. I have an idea how to start the story but I'm afraid of being too generic or not having a good enough hook to keep the readers attention. Should I work on the story as I work on my game or should I type out the story first and work on the game after?
Generally you want to work on story and game at the same time, unless it's a VN.  This is because you need to design your mechanics to fit your story (or story to fit mechanics).  Pacing is important, and what works on paper may not work as a game.  So long as you have an outline working on both at once is the best plan.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Colticide on December 05, 2015, 11:07:34 PM
Sweet thank you! Any advice on how to start the story? It's a touhou rpg so not sure if explaining the world would be ok or if I should just dive in to a part of the story.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on December 05, 2015, 11:58:14 PM
Sweet thank you! Any advice on how to start the story? It's a touhou rpg so not sure if explaining the world would be ok or if I should just dive in to a part of the story.
For a fangame with limited distribution spending time explaining the world in depth is kinda foolish.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Colticide on December 06, 2015, 12:06:00 AM
Ok just wanted to make sure, again thank you!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: gabo2344 on January 24, 2016, 08:21:23 AM
hello everyone :D !
first of all, i have to say that my English isn't very good, so sorry if i cause you trouble trying to read my nonsense :3c

i am very nervous, this is my first time in a English forum (well, actually second time, the first one being space battles, but everyone ignored me so...).
so i don't know what to do, should i make a new post in the fanfic index, or i shall present the idea here ?

anyways, i am currently writing a fanfic which has no name, this fanfic its a crossover with my personal project, (yes, i know it sounds horrible), but i am trying to make it a great fanfic.
i am writing fanon based on canon, i try to make the characters a little bit more intelligent (in the case of rumia), and more tridimentional, and a little bit more dangerous.

if someone is interested to help, i need people who know things from the cannon works, like the games, the doujinshi and the music text, it really helps a lot.

i kinda find it difficult to expose all the argument here, so ill leave a little synopsis and a pic some friend made for a chapter.

(should i put a spoiler for the pic ?, sorry, i don't know how to use the controls very well)

synopsis:
Quote
The land of gensokyo has faced many incidents in the past, but nevertheless,  a unforeseen chain of events, under abnormal conditions, have brought a young soldier into this land of illusion and fantasy, but this human is different from the rest.
The young human will have to fight to survive in this hostile environment and in his journey he will meet gods, demons, monsters and entities that defy human logic, which may help him or try to kill him.
The gears of fate began to turn, bringing incidents and events that may trigger the destruction of Gensokyo itself.

image
(http://i1145.photobucket.com/albums/o508/gabo2344/10450434_911234778893140_1412690167927476593_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Validon98 on February 03, 2016, 08:33:56 PM
Validon here, poking around this board probably for the first major time ever. I haven't written anything here before yet, but I've been thinking recently on bringing over some of my Touhou OCs from a roleplaying group to practice my writing and play around with some slice of life ideas I've had. I tend to keep my characters fairly distant from most canon characters, events, situations, etc., but I might experiment with that a little too. While I'm planning on making my own thread, I wasn't really sure how to begin, so I was going to start off with this post here as sort of an introduction (and if I do end up making the thread, I'll copy over what I've written here), and briefly summarize and introduce an OC I've had a picture of in my signature for quite awhile: Utahime Chikage.

A night sparrow born before the Hakurei Barrier had been erected, Utahime is a true villain... or at least, that's what she claims to be. She takes the "night" in "night sparrow" a bit too seriously, having traded the traditional song and dance of other night sparrows for control over shadows and illusions, and uses those in tandem to lure humans to her home in the forest at the Youkai Mountain's base to slaughter or otherwise scare and spread stories of herself to others. Eventually, she wants to lead an all-out assault on the Human Village, to reintroduce fear into the lives of the complacent humans used to the neutral grounds of the village.

Her attitude is cocky and mocking, and she continuously lauds her evil and superiority over others... at least, that's what she does in public. Due to the recent introduction of the spellcard system, she's truthfully afraid that youkai are losing their purpose, and stubbornly sticks to the old ways in order to, in her mind, live on, feeling that if her name and legacy are forgotten, she would vanish from existence. She is unable to comprehend why other youkai have been able to live "peacefully" as long as they have, and cannot bring herself to let up on her "evil", lest she lose her purpose.

In short, Utahime's life is that of a youkai trying to bring the old ways back, spreading rumors and stories of herself to become a threat to the humans of Gensokyo, while at the same time getting caught up the many incidents that shake the land to its roots. Also not provoking the wrath of the Hakurei Shrine Maiden. That might also be a good idea.

Utahime's not my only OC, but I figured I'd just start out with one that I have developed out quite a bit to share with PSL here, and one I'm the least nervous in sharing (trust me I'm super nervous sharing any of my OCs outside the RPing group, eheh), and I just wanted to test the waters a bit with a mini-bio. Feel free to leave thoughts or ideas, I'm still sorta figuring out what I want to do here.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Dragomir7 on February 05, 2016, 04:38:46 PM
The following is based on the posted challenge (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/11754537/) at fanfiction.net. Seeing that there is little response, with a sad number of existing Touhou - Harry Potter crossovers (http://www.fanfiction.net/Harry-Potter_and_Touhou-Project_Crossovers/224/3405/), I decided to share my wild ideas in the hope that it would inspire some writers.

Background: Suppose Yukari gets bored with the lack of incidents or events in Gensokyo. She finds the Harry Potter universe, and decides to gap in random characters at random times to see what would happen to them. Primarily Harry Potter-based with a great deal of inserted Touhou characters; they can become the main protagonists or simply as secondary characters to Harry and gang.

The Gaped Touhou characters may or may not know each other. Those that appeared in the same games or involved in the same plotlines are expected to know each other.

And ho:

Others (including those mentioned in passing):


Well. Just for variety. Contribute your ideas or comments if you want.  :(
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Chirumiru-chan on March 27, 2016, 05:22:53 PM
I'm writing a Touhou and Mega Man crossover fic named "Forest of Tohno".

The story starts with Mega Man and the others finding the torii gate of the Hakurei Shrine in the outside world. Apparently, the outside world Hakurei Shrine is in the universe where Mega Man takes place in. Mega Man decides to greet the Gensokyo inhabitants. Then there?s a story arc where Orange decides to build a robot master, ON-001 "Youkai Woman". Then, late one night, Orange gets cornered by Bass, who demands to know where Mega Man is. Orange is at first scared and doesn?t know who it is, and then when Bass reveals himself, Orange is lovestruck. Later on, there might be some Tenshi x Bass stuff, as well as Mega Man helping Reimu solve an incident, Roll working at Ellen's magic shop, Otaka (my Mega Man OC) learning Esperanto, along with other plotlines.

Help me flesh out this story.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on May 18, 2016, 03:24:29 AM
So longshot here but I need some assistance with my own work.  I need someone fluent in Brazilian Portuguese to offer a good nickname for an easygoing girl.  Obviously google translate will not suffice.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Tengukami on May 18, 2016, 09:51:26 AM
So longshot here but I need some assistance with my own work.  I need someone fluent in Brazilian Portuguese to offer a good nickname for an easygoing girl.  Obviously google translate will not suffice.

I know just who to ask. Will PM you soon.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: HakureiSM on May 18, 2016, 04:59:28 PM
I know just who to ask. Will PM you soon.
Yeah that would be me

As a 100% pureblood huehuehue, I can help with this
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on May 18, 2016, 06:04:04 PM
Yeah that would be me

As a 100% pureblood huehuehue, I can help with this
Thanks a lot.  I got myself in trouble by doing plot first, research second.  :derp:
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Lotusroad (Abby) on May 27, 2016, 07:34:50 AM
OOhh my gosh I'm sorry if I'm posting this wrong I'm p new here!! But It's actually pretty good this exists because I have a major fic I've been planning, regarding my headcanons around Meira (being a sister to Reimu and originally supposed to be the Hakurei Miko, taken by Mima by some means for her power), but I have four different ideas on how to start this/ All are good and bad in their own rights, and while I know some are worst than others I don't know which I should be going for. It'll probably be good to get opinions outside my own as to what people would be interested in.

1. Mima kidnaps Meira but Meira is an amnesiac through some means (magic? getting whacked out cold with that weird moon staff thing? Who knows atm). She wakes up in Reimaden, unaware of her past or situation.

Pros: there's the added plot in that she has to retrieve those memories, probably with Marisa's help
Cons: It gets rid of my original idea and themes, which were around youth mistakes and regret. I also feel like it's a very cheap thing to go about, or that amnesia is far too overused to be interesting.


2. Sendai died or was never there for either her or Reimu, Meira is kidnapped in her sleep or when tending to the shrine and Reimu is left behind.
Pros: Keeps the original themes I had in mind, like regret, escape (although it was "escape reality" than anything), and family. Makes being with Mima all the worst
Cons: doesn't really match the ages I've given them, and removes the plot in that it's later revealed by Mima that Sendai died (spoiler: lies lies lies) and thus removes the climax of the story I had planned out.

3. The original I was going with. Meira goes out to walk, contemplating over how she doesn?t want to be the Hakurei Miko but a samurai when she gets lost and meets Mima late at night. This is also how the amnesia start begins, and Meira is either manipulated in going with them or willingly leaves.
Pros: explains why she's a samurai in the future (sword is a family heirloom, originally owned by Konngara), keeps most of my original ideas intact and maybe feels a little more genuine, as well as pointing out just how evil Mima actually is
Cons: Meira, being about 7, probably knows not to trust random ghosts in the woods at night, which would lead to being taken by force (Actually now that I think about this that's not that bad-), her wanting to leave maybe implies bad homelife more than her disregard for 'fate', which is false

4. I start in the middle and leave the beginning ambiguous, implying the reason Meira has for being here was against her will and could mean either of these 3 beginnings while the story continues on and the beginning is only hinted at.
Pros: I won't have to worry about all this, could lead to any of the three above and gives me time to think this over but also get the story started already. Maybe leaves readers questioning?
Cons: this is super super cheap, like an absolute cop-out for the sake of ease.

Again sorry if this isn't meant to be posted here! But honestly I appreciate any input that'll help me towards not slowly losing my sanity trying to make this decision.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Iced Fairy on May 27, 2016, 04:30:22 PM
It's fine to post here, but it's really hard to offer advice on "what other people should write."  Writing is a very personal thing.

I will say that option 4 isn't the copout you view it as.  Avoiding the messy details is a time honored tradition.  People get awards for being vague.  You will probably want to decide how it goes down later, but first is the story you want to tell.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: the old guy on May 31, 2016, 09:42:11 AM
Cons: Meira, being about 7, probably knows not to trust random ghosts in the woods at night, which would lead to being taken by force (Actually now that I think about this that's not that bad-), her wanting to leave maybe implies bad homelife more than her disregard for 'fate', which is false

Why can't it be both? Maybe her mother was overly baring, and pushed the pressure of being the next hakurei maiden down her throat so hard that Meira got too stressed out about it, and decided to rebel against her mother.

That said, i think you should go with 4. Would be more interesting.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: MetalStudios on January 05, 2017, 01:34:50 AM
First time posting here since I'm kinda new to being an active forum member.
Does anyone ever have issues coming up with last names for characters? I've given full names to pretty much every single character and now I'm down to the last two that I'm wanting to draft out. They're brothers, the elder is named Klein while the younger is named Gaffgarion. Every time I come up with with a name for one, it just doesn't feel right for the other one if that makes any sense. I've had a friend tell me to just change one of their first names to one I feel works or change their background so they're not brothers so they can have different last names, however I've held onto these two characters since I was in grade schools so there's a sort of sentimental value to how they are now and I just can't bring myself to change them.
As a followup I guess, does anyone else have any original characters that they've held onto for a prolonged period of time?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hello Purvis on January 05, 2017, 02:31:31 AM
I believe Gaffgarion's surname was Goffard? Or Gaff, if you got with the old translation.

And oh yeah, I have some that are older than the war on terror.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Zelinko on May 17, 2017, 02:58:38 PM
So after finally getting more feedback on Double Exposure (https://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,20735.0.html) I'm having to do a major rewrite, if addendum to the title of that thread didn't make it clear.

I'm trying to salvage what I can from the first half and kind of begun working on a kinda retroactive outline of the rebuild as I've already got entire scenes to remove early on but I'm not sure how to fit what's left into there or if I'm cutting too deeply.

Still here is the newly built outline.

- Hatate overflight of SDM
- Checks camera for early deciding subject to write about afterwards
- Realization about photobombing Koishi
- Bank and change course
- Acceleration
- Diving to Geyser Center
- Most of rest of story / Koishi encounter, chase, etc

I'm pretty much as a given removing anything related to things happening in the fortress outside ideas related to Hatate's starting to preplan her story (noting about the festival, looking through the pictures, etc). The bigger problem is the salvaging without those recovered bits looking like they just don't fit.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Komeko on May 25, 2017, 11:46:25 PM
Hey guys, just made an account for this. I saw a lot of really angsty stories on fanfiction.net and wanted to write a more fun one. Basically the plot is that in Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream, Rikako Asakura beat Yumemi Okazaki and got her fifth grade science textbook. She promptly decides to study it and attempt to educate the whole of Gensokyo. Throughout her somewhat lonely endeavour(she's a heretic!) she opens up to new friends and gets into some arguments with some folks over her science-ing or lack thereof. As a note, the timeframe of this fic is set in PC-98 right after Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream, but the other areas exist and so do their characters. I'm going to make sure there's nobody meeting someone before they should, but since Rikako and Rika aren't heard from again, it's assumed that they can interact with newer characters within reason.

Intro: (eh who needs spoilers it's legit the intro)
Rikako reads the very first passage in her science textbook which talks about what science is and why it matters. She's pretty inspired but soon realizes that maybe in Okazaki's world this might be a noble and lauded endeavour, but in Gensokyo she's going to be quite lonely. She decides that this was the dream she had and realizes just how unlikely beating Okazaki was in the first place, and so doubles down on her goal. In these first chapters she learns about the scientific method and is mind boggled by what a microscope is, and just how she's supposed to get one. Rika begins poking around her house.

First Arc: Biology, Classification, Plants, Animals, and Ecology
The first unit of the book, biology, might look easy, but the overwhelming amount of terms Rikako has to sort through is ridiculous. Even though it's a fifth grade book, many of the things being said are completely out of this world, and so Rikako very carefully goes through every experiment. There are a couple of issues with this, the aforementioned microscope issue, the issue about how she's supposed to get her cells on a 'slide', and the numerous issues with naming wondrous creatures in Gensokyo. To top it all off, after learning the material Rikako remembers her duty as a scientist and has to try to prove her book correctly by creating a public show of science. The local population of a spiritual wonderland is about as excited as you'd expect, and Rikako is devastated. However, she begins meeting some new friends, such as Rika and unexpectedly, Keine, who values learning for the sake of the children in the village as opposed to shutting out the two girls. Together they convince the town(and the powers that be) to let them demonstrate their scientific reports and experiments. The question is, will they get it right?

Second Arc: Geology and Cycles
Oh wow. A rock pit. Turns out there's only one good rockpit that Rikako and Rika don't need heavy duty stuff for is the playground of the Human Village's schoolhouse. After being teased a bit by the kids, the group help out the scientists learn about the rock cycle and geology, along with a field trip to Youkai Mountain to observe how rocks change over time. They then go to the Misty Lake to observe the water cycle with the help of Cirno(some shenanigans ensue) and finally go to the Hakurei Shrine to look at the Moon and stars as they're terrified to climb to the top of Youkai Mountain. Weird things begin to move afoot as their books are seemingly supplemented with more detailed papers and explanations. Who wrote those?

Final Arc: Matter, Energy, and Motion
Rikako and Rika have figured out most of the scientific grimoire thanks to both their new friends and some trust teamwork, not to mention those weird papers, however this part of the book is the last, and subsequently the hardest. The two scientists struggle to understand the fundamental reasoning behind any of the things they're learning, and are about to give up when they realize that even if they can observe or theoretically say a certain piece of their simplified physics, they'd never be able to prove it. Everyone's at a loss to what they need to do to prove it, until someone shows up. Is this who's been putting in the letters? How does she know so much science, and why hasn't she taken the glory? Enter Yumemi Okazaki and Chiyuri Kitashirakawa. With her guidance Rikako and Rika can't prove the physics on their own, but what they can do is keep studying. They realize that if they figure out the laws of physics they'll be known as the greatest scientists in Gensokyo, and Chiyuri offers to teach them, but they learn that they'll have to leave their home in the Human Village, and live with Yumemi and Chiyuri in the Forest of Magic. They both realize that the friends they've made and the contributions they've done for the community's well being are better than a title, and so they ask Chiyuri to still send them books, and when they're ready perhaps they'll take her up on the offer. Yumemi and Chiyuri accept this deal as they hand the girls their newest book, a sixth grade science textbook.
Along with around six math textbooks and a litany of workbooks and lab notebooks. Oh joy.

Again this is meant to be more of a heartwarming fanfic with themes of friendship and never giving up as opposed to something edgy, plus it's my first fic so I'd love to hear your feedback on it. Thanks a lot guys!
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Pergold on July 15, 2017, 10:33:01 PM
I had an idea for a fanfic it goes along something like this:

Chris Curry and Sir Clive Sinclair end up in Gensokyo one day. Knowing that their home's computer market was crowded they decide to kickstart Gensokyo's microcomputer industry. The competition is fierce, even the shrines have taken arms (the Hakurei Shrine supporting Sinclair Research, and the Moriya Shrine supporting Acorn Computers). The two fight by invoking minor incidents with the youkai, aggressive marketing, and lots of trash talk. But how will Gensokyo's micromen be able to cope when Yukari Yakumo releases a microcomputer of her own. Will Chris Curry and Sir Clive Sinclair survive? Or die as Gensokyo enters a war among shrines, fueled by the desire of controlling Gensokyo's micro industry.

Just another one of my crazy ideas, (besides my Thomas/Touhou crossovers).
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hello Purvis on July 16, 2017, 11:18:05 AM
That is just crazy enough to work in the right hands.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Pergold on July 16, 2017, 06:51:14 PM
That is just crazy enough to work in the right hands.

I even had ideas for youkai like Cirno, Kaguya, and Flandre, becoming bedroom coders. Mostly Touhou parodies of old games, having names like EIENTEI or Jet Set Sakuya, maybe even Seija On The Run.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jouhei on December 17, 2017, 01:27:28 AM
Hello, my name is Jouhei(Devil Summoner reference). I'm a newbie at writing and had this crossover idea in my head roughly around the time Hurricane Irma ravaged Florida. It crosses Touhou with Shin Megami Tensei (Persona's mother series). It would star Demifiend (Nocturne's hero) and he would travel to Gensokyo in a scouting/Search and Destroy mission from Lucifer himself. His objectives being, to recruit powerful individuals to aid in destroying Yaldabaoh(not Jehovah he's a somewhat nice guy) in all universes, the quickest way to do this being to lure Him into Gensokyo and destroying the place causing him to disappear like a Youkai would. I post this with the question: Should I try to do this? Or should I try individual fics first?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Spaztique on March 28, 2018, 07:11:29 AM
It's been a long time MotK, but after a haitus involving getting my self-esteemed crushed and having my friends pull me out of it, I'm back and looking to make a comic! I've already passed the story by my normal channels, but I wanna get your reactions now.

I want to work on a comic adaptation of Double Dealing Character and Impossible Spell Card, as well as make something that'll be the ultimate antithesis to my self-insert fic deconstruction story Diamond In The Rough.

I call it...
Wrath of the Amanojaku

I've already written six of the ten chapters, and it's all outlined. My goal is to make a story that starts out in typical darkfic politically-torn amoral Gensokyo, but end on classic vanilla girls-shooting-eachother-with-lasers heroic Gensokyo. Despite it ascending in tone as it goes on (i.e. going from dark to light), it's actually inspired by the depression and hopelessness I've gone through these last couple of years, dealing with the loss of several friends and non-stop online harassment, and my struggle to get out of it and have hope again. It's also my answer to my previous work, Diamond In The Rough, which exposed the amoral core of typical darkfic Gensokyo in hopes of jarring fanfic writers into rethinking how they write (and ironically, it was written from a happy, playful place): if DitR is Gensokyo gone wrong, WotA will be Gensokyo gone right. As such, there will be several, several jabs at DitR throughout the story: especially nearing the end.

Here's the synopsis of the current draft:

Chapter 1:
Short Version: As the events of Hopeless Masquerade end, Seija makes her move to manipulate Shinmyoumaru so she can use the Miracle Mallet for her.

Full Synopsis:
The story begins at the end of Hopeless Masquerade, where Reimu, Miko, and Byakuren team up to fight Kokoro, who accuses the religious leaders of manipulating the masses. In the crowd, Cirno and co. watch, and they ask her why she's not involved, but Cirno says she doesn't understand what's going on, nor does she think she'd last in a fight with any of the competitors of the war.

The incident wraps up with Reimu giving Kokoro a new purpose as a performer. Byakuren and Miko argue what solved the incident, but Reimu tells them to not take everything so seriously, going on to say there will never be a youkai dangerous enough to put Gensokyo in danger. To help Kokoro perform, we meet a very meek and unfamiliar Raiko, currently a simple taiko drum tsukumogami, who barely commands any respect from the folks present at the Shrine.

Meanwhile, Seija shows up at Shining Needle Castle and meets Shinmyoumaru, who apparently doesn't know much about the history of the Inchlings. Seija reveals she has the Miracle Mallet and is willing to give it to her for free. Shinmyoumaru wishes to learn the history of the Inchlings, but Seija tells her to stop, and says she could tell her herself. Meanwhile, Aya spots this and, knowing the history of the amanojaku, runs back to the Tengu Village to report what she found.


Chapter 2:
Short Version: Aya knows what Seija is up to and tries to rally support to try and stop her, but nobody seems to care. Akyuu worries Gensokyo is on the verge of imploding, and all Aya can do is hope somebody saves Gensokyo in time.

Full Synopsis:
Aya returns and demands an alert be sent out: whoever captures the amanojaku will be given a reward. However, Hatate tells Lord Tenma that Aya is simply being paranoid, and convinces Lord Tenma that Aya is jumping at shadows due to an apparent obsession with the long-forgotten Vampire Incident. Tenma tells Aya to stand down, but Aya sneaks out to find help.

Without funding, she cannot hire Marisa, and Reimu is too suspicious of Aya after an incident involving her and the Three Fairies of Light pranking her. She goes to the Myouren Temple, and Byakuren reveals Seija did try to join, but was banished for trying to get the youkai to attack the humans. Byakuren reveals her strategy is to simply do nothing and wait for the situation to resolve itself, but Aya doesn't believe the amanojaku have evolved like the other youkai races. Byakuren tells Aya that only she is badmouthing Seija, and that Aya's rumor-mongering is far worse, and asks her to leave.

Finally, Aya sees Akyuu, who actually does remember the history of the amanojaku and is willing to give her a history of them to prove they are a threat. However, when they find the recordings on the amanojaku, all of the pages have been ripped out, meaning Seija must've already sabotaged her. Akyuu despairs that if an amanojaku gets ahold of the Miracle Mallet's power, it'll mean the end of Gensokyo, but by this point, Akyuu reveals she has become jaded and doesn't even believe Gensokyo should even be saved, citing the growing political rift between all of the factions.

Aya gives up and returns home. Momiji scolds her for sneaking out, but then tells Aya to please have faith in Gensokyo. Aya sighs and tells Momiji she'll try.


Chapter 3:
Short Version: Seija carefully manipulates Reimu to crash the Religious Symposium so she can raid the Hieda Family Archives, giving Shinmyoumaru all the "proof" she needs that Gensokyo must be destroyed and taken over by the weak. Two weeks later, everyone's tools begin acting up, and Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya embark on their journies...

Full Synopsis:
Weeks earlier, it turns out Seija had already visited Reimu, disguised as a human, and warns her that the religious leaders are holding some sort of meeting to take over Gensokyo. This "meeting" is actually the Religious Symposium, where Byakuren and Miko argue over leadership in the human village, while Kanako says the youkai rule Gensokyo. Miko says that if that's the case, the humans are no more than animals in cages, and that with the current situation, Gensokyo is going to implode at any moment. At the end of the Symposium, Reimu busts in to break it up. Keine rushes in to stop Reimu, but not before Seija sneaks behind her back into Akyuu's archives and steals what she needs.

Cut back to the present: Seija twists Gensokyo's history to paint the land as a cruel, hideous place full of cruel, selfish, monstrous people, where might makes right and the strong dominate the weak. Seija tells her the power of the Mallet can reverse this, and Shinmyoumaru agrees to help her with a rebellion.

Two weeks later, Reimu wakes to find her gohei moving on its own, Suika being wrestled by her own sake gourd, Marisa accidentally blows up Alice's house to save her from revolting dolls, and Sakuya and Meiling are forced to defend the Scarlet Devil Mansion from a fairy revolution. Remilia calls Sakuya aside and tells her to go after the rampaging youkai, giving her an ancient youkai-hunting dagger which apparently changes her behavior into being more bloodlusty.

As Sakuya flies off, Remilia reveals the dagger was simply a form of "bait," and Yukari shows up to congratulate her on her "plan" working. Yukari and Remilia apparently know exactly what's going on, and that Gensokyo is about to remember its history the hard way... (But since this is supposed to be the "Anti-DitR", it's not as sinister as it lets on...)


Chapter 4:
Short Version: Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya meet up in a skirmish over Misty Lake. Although they defeat Wakasagihime, they then knock each other out in a duel. With them indisposed, the tsukumogami are free to launch a wide-scale assault on Gensokyo.

Full Synopsis:
The fairies, using their newfound powers, decide they're going to take over Gensokyo, but not before Cirno shows up with her own newfound powers and decides to become the strongest herself. Marisa, on a supply run to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, challenges her to a fight, only to be interupted by Reimu, who's investigating the incident. Marisa and Reimu argue, only to be interupted by Cirno and the fairies putting aside their differences to take them down. Reimu and Marisa use their cursed weapons to win, but Wakasagihime shows up to overpower them both. They only survive thanks to Sakuya showing up in the nick of time, but all three argue over who's kill it was.

Sakuya accuses Reimu and Marisa of using the incident as a power grab, while Marisa and Reimu argue over who should resolve the incident. They decide to have a duel to see who will go ahead, but it's a three-way knockout. Yatsuhashi observes the situation and reveals that they were waiting for all three incident resolvers to meet thanks to the fairy uprising and, of course, knock themselves out. Yatsuhashi and Benben signal the beginning of a widescale, Gensokyo-wide tsukumogami rebellion. When Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya recover, they find out Gensokyo is now amidst quite possibly the biggest incident to date.


Chapter 5:
Short Version: The human village is under attack by Sekibanki and the tsukumogami, and Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya learn to work together to take her down. They learn of the Grassroots Youkai Network, and set their sights on finding Kagerou, who may know what's going on.

Full Synopsis:
The Human Village is under attack by the tsukumogami, and the chapter opens with the Myouren Temple, the Taoists, and Keine all battling to protect the villagers as they rush to the shelter. Sekibanki terrorizes everyone, attempting to become the scariest youkai in the village, but Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya rush in to save the day. Marisa attempts to Master Spark her, only to forgot she put it on a timer when she was experimenting with it earlier, which allows Sekibanki to escape. All three of them get overwhelmed as the tsukumogami plunge in to attack, but they're all saved by the combined forces of the Myouren Temple and the Hermits. The three chase Sekibanki through the village canals, using their cursed tools to battle their way through, eventually coordinating a final attack that shoots Sekibanki out of the sky.

When brought back for questioning, Sekibanki reveals nothing, but Kogasa, a tsukumogami who did NOT join the rebellion, reveals Sekibanki is just a harmless wannabe, and Sekibanki shamefully admits she wishes she was really the scariest youkai in the village. Kogasa then tells the heroines of the Grassroots Youkai, and says Kagerou might be the only one left to know what's going on. However, she's in the Bamboo Forest on a full moon, Eintei has gone dark, and the heroines will have to get there alone while the Hermits and Myouren Temple protect the village. Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya accept the task, and Keine says that once full moon goes down, she will regain her ability to eat history and hide the village, and everyone will be able to provide backup. However, in the background, Yukari tells Cirno to follow the incident resolvers, and that once Cirno meets the person behind the incident, she will help make her the strongest fairy in Gensokyo.

In the shelter, Kosuzu has a panic attack regarding the attack, but Akyuu assures her they'll be fine and the shelter is protected by a youkai-proof barrier, and once it's all over, the humans will ring a youkai-proof All-Clear Bell to let them know everything's okay. However, as Kosuzu drifts asleep, Akyuu worries that it really is the end of Gensokyo...


Chapter 6:
Short Version: Realizing their weapons are cursed, Reimu and co. are forced to fight Kagerou without their primary weapons. Kagerou goes into shock when she finds out the other Grassroots Youkai were involved, and helps the heroines find the source of the tsukumogami's power, but not before being taken out by the tsukumogami who label her a traitor.

Full Synopsis:
Eintei has been destroyed by Kagerou and the tsukumogami, but everyone inside has safely hidden themselves in the Lunar Passage. Unfortunately, Reisen and Mokou were stuck outside helping everyone get in, forcing them to fight alone. Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya show up just in time to help fight Kagerou, who reveals the youkai are happy they have power and can now act independently. The three duel Kagerou, but Marisa's trigger-happy nature, which has already been going overboard all night, goes over the top as she nearly burns down the forest. Meanwhile, Sakuya tries to stop her, but then goes into an unstoppable bloodlust. Reimu knocks them both out as Kagerou escapes, and finds out that whatever is making the tsukumogami stronger is also affecting their weapons, which are in-turn affecting them.

Reimu tells everyone to sheath their weapons and switch to their secondary weapons. Marisa struggles to fight as they chase down Kagerou, and she struggles to fight Kagerou, but it turns out Sakuya was using Marisa as bait so Reimu could trap her.

With Kagerou defeated, she reveals she's acting alone, but when Sakuya tells her that Wakasagihime and Sekibanki attacked, she goes into shock and says the tsukumogami used her. She tries to tell the heroines there's something up in the clouds, but is branded a traitor by the tsukumogami and is shot before she could say anything else.

Reisen reveals that Youkai Mountain has also gone dark, meaning this attack has affected virtually all of Gensokyo, but Reimu remembers that the Celestials might have good enough defenses to survive and a good enough overlook of Gensokyo to know what's going on. Since Tenshi owes the heroines a favor, everyone heads to Heaven. Meanwhile, it's revealed Raiko has been following the heroines, now with a digital drum set and flashy new threads, and says that Reimu will have to accept that she is not just the savior of Gensokyo's humans, but the tsukumogami as well...


Chapter 7:
Short Version: Reimu and co. dive into the magical stormclouds hiding the source of the tsukumogami's power, just as the remaining forces of Gensokyo become overwhelmed, leaving them to fight alone. Reimu meets Raiko, who fills them in on the truth behind the incident, and wishes to help to save the tsukumogami.

Full Synopsis:
Tenshi says she knows what's going on and lays out a battle map of Gensokyo: virtually everything has been overtaken by the tsukumogami, the Scarlet Devil Mansion has been destroyed, Hakyugokuro has been destroyed, the Moriya Shrine, the Tengu Village, virtually everything but the Human Village and Genbu Ravine has been destroyed. The Moriya Shrine and the Tengu have all been pushed down to Genbu Ravine with the Kappa, where they're preparing for a final stand. It turns out that the tsukumogami are hiding and protecting something in a giant storm cloud, but nobody knows what it is. Reimu says the Hermits and Myouren Temple are waiting until sunrise to look for the culprit, but Tenshi believes that they won't stand a chance unless they figure out how to take out the source of the tsukumogami's power by sunrise. Yuyuko, pushed back to Heaven with Youmu, gives her plan: a small team will infilitrate the storm while everyone else rescues the Genbu Ravine, and once the power source has been taken out, the survivors of Genbu Ravine will come to the rescue. Reimu and Marisa naturally volunteer, but Sakuya argues with Youmu whether or not she should go, with Youmu having doubts Sakuya cares about anything other than the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Sakuya says she does, but also adds the Scarlet Devil Mansion is all she has. Tenshi calls Sakuya out, but Sakuya does the same to Tenshi, who is only joining the incident for the fun of it.

As they split off, Tenshi asks Sakuya if she really thinks she's as alone as she says she is. Before descending into the storm, Sakuya flashes back to the end of Scarlet Weather Rhapsody, and upon remembering how close she was with everyone else, she enters the fight with new gusto.

However, this is all a trap: Seija was planning for everyone to go to Genbu Ravine, and then sends everything she has to trap them and cut off Reimu and co.'s rescue. Worse, once the Myouren Temple and Hermits get word of this, Yukari, Ran, Chen, and their fairies show up to keep everyone from leaving. Yukari says she's fighting for the tsukumogami and the Grassroots youkai and lets Sekibanki go, shocking everyone, and everyone rushes to fight Yukari.

Back up in the clouds, Yatsuhashi and Benben fire everything they got at Reimu with the intent to kill her, cutting of Marisa and Sakuya before they have a chance to catch her. Marisa and Sakuya are forced to fight alone, and as the battle wears on, Marisa is shot off her broom, forcing Sakuya to race past Yatsuhashi's and Benben's shots to save her, and then carry her on her back while fighting them both. Down below, Raiko rescues Reimu mid-fall and tries to explain the situation, but Reimu fights Raiko, thinking she is the cause of the incident; especially with Raiko's talking of really building a world where tsukumogami can live in peace. However, Reimu stops fighting Raiko when she reveals her powers did not come from the thing the tsukumogami are protecting, and that both their races depend on them. Raiko and Reimu rush up to stop everyone from fighting, and Raiko explains the situation: the tsukumogami have been manipulated by the infamous amanojaku Seija Kijin. Marisa goes into shock, because they have met before...


Chapter 8:
Short Version: It turns out Seija has been planning this incident for ages, laying the foundation in many past incidents, all so she can attain the Miracle Mallet's power. Unfortunately, the heroines fall right into her plans: Seija uses Reimu and co.'s attack as the reason Shinmyoumaru must share the Mallet's power with her. Shinmyoumaru gives Seija a Replica Mallet and endows it with power, and Seija reveals her plan to take over the Human Village, which would effectively kill off all youkai and make her a god.

Full Synopsis:
Cut back to Mountain of Faith. It turns out that Seija gave Marisa Illusion Laser B, but only so that the tengu could publish an article of Marisa that she was deliberately breaking Spell Card Rules. Marisa reveals what happened, but Seija goes into hiding. Sakuya says Seija came by the mansion to pick up a history on the Vampire Incident, and everything about Seija's actions, like badmouthing Remilia to Sakuya before badmouthing Sakuya to Remilia, unsettled her.

Benben and Yatsuhashi don't want to betray Seija in fear of losing their powers, but Raiko convinces them it will be fine. Marisa and Sakuya use what little experience they have to play Benben and Yatsuhashi's instruments while Raiko explains the nature of the tsukumogami and why it's affecting their weapons: the power of the users make tsukumogami strong, and Raiko bets once Seija betrays them and tries to take their powers, this will be proof that everything she's told the tsukumogami was a lie. Reimu feels hesitant helping the tsukumogami, but Raiko assures her that the Hakurei Shrine Maiden's job is to protect everyone, and that she will have to learn this lesson sooner or later.

Meanwhile, at the Myouren Temple, Yukari reveals she's keeping everyone in because once they all launch an assault on Shining Needle Castle, Seija will have the "proof" she needs to convince Shinmyoumaru to share the power of the Mallet with her, and that the heroines are going to defeat her by themselves. Miko suspects Yukari of a power grab, saying that starting a war like this could give youkai indefinite power, but Yukari says that'd be overkill and a stupid idea since the humans of the village already think that's a reality (despite being mostly a fiction), and Yukari reveals she's actually super-protective of Gensokyo, but does it in a wierd way. She says Genbu Ravine will be fine, and all that's left for them to do is wait until sunrise.

However, Byakuren reveals Miko told her about Yukari talking to Cirno, and she sent Koishi, who could easily slip past Yukari, to warn the heroines. This sends Yukari into a shock nobody's ever seen before, and she quickly calls for a Plan B: Cirno was supposed to set off another one of Seija's traps, but without her, the very presence of the heroines will alert Shinmyoumaru to their presence. Yukari orders everyone to attack at once.

Back at Shining Needle Castle, Koishi shows up to tells Reimu she's being followed, and they catch Cirno and send her back home, telling her it's too dangerous and she's too weak to be of any use. Dejected, Cirno leaves as the heroines rush in: Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya decide to take out Seija while Raiko tries to take back the mallet before Shinmyoumaru can use it again. However, Raiko falls into the trap as planned, and it's left uncertain what happens to her as the bullets fly.

The heroines find Seija and chase her through the castle, only to end up in the same room as Shinmyoumaru. Seija has thoroughly convinced Shinmyoumaru that Gensokyo is at fault for its destruction, it destroyed itself in trying to take control from the tsukumogami, and that Reimu is planning to send "her" army of youkai to destroy them for disagreeing with them. Seija offers them a shot at redemption by joining her forces and fighting back the youkai who "destroyed" Gensokyo. Obviously, the heroines don't listen to Seija and try to reason with Shinmyoumaru. Shinmyoumaru has none of it, gives Seija a replica of the Miracle Mallet, and makes a wish to endow it with her power, cementing her plans.

Seija then tells Shinmyoumaru she plans to use the Mallet's Power to ring the Human Village's All-Clear Bell, and once the humans see not only the humans and youkai fighting side-by-side, but her singlehandedly defeat everyone, it'll destroy their fear in the other youkai and make everyone fear her instead. As a result, it'll simultaneously kill off ALL of the youkai in Gensokyo AND turn Seija into a god. To top it all off, Seija then lies to Shinmyoumaru that it was Reimu who commanded the youkai to kill off all of the inchlings, and that Shinmyoumaru is next. Seija escapes as Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya struggle to survive Shinmyoumaru's onslaught.

Just as Seija escapes, she's met by Yukari, Miko, Byakuren, and all their forces, but Yukari is shocked to see that they are too late: Seija has the Miracle Mallet's power, and she is now the most powerful being in Gensokyo. Yukari tells everyone to void Spell Card Rules and give everything they got.


Chapter 9:
Short Version: Gensokyo rallies for a final stand against Seija as the heroines battle Shinmyoumaru for the Miracle Mallet. They get the Mallet, but its powers can only be used by an Inchling. However, Shinmyoumaru witnesses Seija's true colors as the tsukumogami and Grassroots Youkai turn on her, and she changes her mind and decides to help Reimu and co. stop her.

Full Synopsis:
Just as Genbu Ravine is overun, Remilia rushes in to save the day. She tells everyone that Hatate has been in contact with the amanojaku, and uses the false history of the Vampire Incident she gave to Seija as proof. Remilia says she handed over a false history because Seija would've stolen the REAL history if she didn't, and this was the perfect bait for anyone who remembers the incident. Hatate admits she made Aya look paranoid because Seija promised her newspaper would gain fame and fortune using the information she provided.

Lord Tenma believes it is too late, and the best option is to just leave Gensokyo: Seija has become too powerful, and even if that weren't the case, Gensokyo has become too much of a political hotbed. Remilia calls out Tenma and says Gensokyo hasn't changed one bit, and that everything Seija's done was to make Gensokyo give up hope on itself, citing how right now, the Tengu, the Kappa, the Moriya Shrine, the Lunarians, the Celestials, and now the Scarlet Devil Mansion have teamed up to save one-another, all while two factions who were at war are now fighting to stop an amanojaku together while a Shrine Maiden, a Witch, and a Maid fight to take back the Miracle Mallet. Inspired, everyone vows to fight to the bitter end, even Tenma. Aya is finally allowed to call for a hunt of the amanojaku with a reward for her capture. Cirno has given up and has gone home as the rest of Gensokyo rallies for the final battle, but Team 9 shows up to convince her she's stronger than she thinks she is, and she joins.

Reimu, Marisa, and Sakuya defend themselves from Shinmyoumaru as the forces of the Hermits and Myouren Temple dwindle as they fight Seija, trying to run out the clock so Keine can hide the village at dawn. Just when it seems like nobody can hold out from Seija any longer, EVERYONE in Gensokyo shows up to fight back Seija. EVERYONE: the Scarlet Devil Mansion crew, the Netherworld Crew, the Lunarians, even the forces of Makai (who heard about Alice's house blowing up and assumed it was the tsukumogami), the forces of Hell (when Satori thought Koishi might be in danger), the Ministry of Right and Wrong, EVERYONE. The heroines are awestruck at the sight of a united Gensokyo flying together as the sun breaks outside, but Shinmyoumaru just sees it as proof that Reimu has brainwashed the youkai to do her bidding.

Everyone holds back Seija just in time for dawn, or at least what they thought was supposed to be dawn: it turns out Seija had told Shinmyoumaru about the Imperishable Night spell, and that means the moon will hang in the sky as long as she wants, meaning Keine cannot hide the village. With no other choice, Reimu and co. fight for the Mallet, racing against the clock as Seija single-handedly destroys ALL of Gensokyo. A battle of titanic proportions ensues, with all combatants fighting at full power and no Spell Card Rules.

Finally, as the forces fighting Seija are wittled down to only a few of the strongest (and Cirno hiding behind a shield of ice, unable to keep up with Seija's power and just giving up), the heroines get the mallet... only to find only an inchling can use it. This causes the Tengu to retreat, losing Lord Tenma in a heroic sacrifice to cover the escaping flights. Just as Yukari, Miko, and Byakuren are shot down, it turns out Raiko escaped just in time, now fully in control of her powers, and rallied together the last of the tsukumogami and the Grassroots youkai, filling them all in of the truth. This buys Marisa just a little more time to figure out a way to use the Mallet's power, but it's no use: it's locked so tightly that it'd take weeks to unlock. This means the only way to stop Seija is if Shinmyoumaru changes her mind, but she's convinced the heroines are evil and Seija is good.

Though, as Seija fights the Grassroots youkai, Shinmyoumaru has second thoughts, but not enough to change her mind. Then Seija tries to take away Benben and Yatsuhashi's powers, but it doesn't work, so she tries to take away everyone's powers, restoring the heroine's weapons and reducing the tsukumogami to their weaker original forms, further shaking Shinmyoumaru's faith, as well as all of the tsukumogami's.

Finally, it's down to Raiko (while Sekibanki is also forced to hide behind Cirno's ice shield, also too scared to fight), the last survivor who can fight Seija, and now that's she's in command of her powers, she holds out for a surpsingly long time. Raiko calls out Seija for her belief the strong oppress the weak, saying the strong can make the weak powerful as well, inspiring all of the tsukumogami to the point where they stop attacking her. However, it's clear that not even Raiko at full power can win, leaving Reimu to simply pray something will stop Seija, while Marisa and Sakuya throw in the towel and have one last drink together.

Shinmyoumaru has a breakdown, unable to figure out who to believe anymore: Seija is her best friend, but the heroines really do seem like they want to save Gensokyo, but Seija also said never to trust them and they'd stab her in the back if she did. Reimu tells Shinmyoumaru to have faith, and if she really cares about the fate of the weak, she'll stop Seija. Shinmyoumaru asks why a shrine maiden would help protect the youkai, and Reimu swallows her pride to tell her that as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, it is her duty to protect ALL of Gensokyo. They give her back the Mallet, just as Seija defeats Raiko.

The chapter ends just as Shinmyoumaru demands Seija returns the power of the Mallet...


Chapter 10:
Short Version: Seija nearly wins after betraying Shinmyoumaru one last time after losing her powers, but Seija is finally defeated by Cirno. Shinmyoumaru realizes Gensokyo is nothing like Seija painted it as, Raiko thanks Reimu for saving the tsukumogami, and the cast celebrate saving Gensokyo together. In the epilogue, Akyuu goes back on her earlier thoughts of Gensokyo being on the verge of imploding, and watches the sunrise with a new hope for Gensokyo's future.

Full Synopsis:
Seija refuses to give back the power of the Mallet, so Shinmyoumaru orders Reimu to trap her in a Duplex Barrier as she takes it back by force. Shinnmyoumaru makes her wish, but the Mallet's power isn't enough to cancel it out. Unable to fight back, Seija takes out Reimu.

The Tengu return, knowing it was only a matter of time before Shinmyoumaru changed her mind, and buy Marisa and Shinmyoumaru time to figure out how to squeeze extra juice out of the Mallet. It turns out most of the power is being used to sustain Shining Needle Castle, and destroying it will give Shinmyoumaru just enough power to remove Seija's own powers (which it turns out wishing for that will cause a spike in power output).

Marisa and Sakuya carefully time a coordinated attack to Master Spark the castle (using the timer from Chapter 5), but Seija takes them both out: Seija takes out Marisa as she distracts her from Sakuya, and then Sakuya jumps in front of a bullet heading for Shinmyoumaru as she makes her wish for everything to turn back to normal. The moon goes back to where it should be, but Keine is knocked out and unable to hide the village. Seija loses her powers and threatens to kill Shinmyoumaru in revenge, but the tsukumogami have had enough to all gang up on the defenseless Seija.

Seija pleads for mercy, but the tsukumogami don't let up. Seija begs Shinmyoumaru for help, saying she's learned her lesson and that everyone deserves a second chance, and if she lets her go, she'll never bother Gensokyo again. Everyone tells her not to listen, but when Seija tells Shinmyoumaru she was her only friend, Shinmyoumaru decides to give her the benefit of the doubt and stop the tsukumogami attacking her.

Seija tearfully hugs Shinmyoumaru and thanks her for saving her... and then Seija shoots her at point-blank and calls her an idiot.

It turns out Seija didn't think she was at fault at all, and she says that Shinmyoumaru was the one who planned on stabbing her in the back. Seija keeps demanding Shinmyoumaru to apologize, but every time she does, Seija says she doesn't truly mean it. Shinmyoumaru falls into despair and yells out that she hates Seija. Seija then picks up the defenseless Reimu and hurls her into the All-Clear Bell, and the humans in the shelters prepare to leave.

With no time left, it's clear that Seija has won. Cirno and Sekibanki chastise themselves for being cowards, only to accidently realize that maybe there's still a way to save Gensokyo if the people can't escape the shelters. Reimu's intuition picks up on this, and Reimu taunts Seija to distract her. Seija beats the crap out of Reimu and gloats how she'll murder her in front of the entire human village, but before Seija can do anything, she turns around to find that Sekibanki's heads have blocked the path out of the shelter, scaring the humans back in, and Cirno's ice has made an impenetrable wall of the heads.

Without her powers, Seija is utterly defenseless against Cirno, who instead of wanting to become the strongest fairy, just wants revenge on Seija for hurting her friends. Seija tries to convince Cirno that "friendship" is just a tactic by the powerful to manipulate the weak, and that "good and evil" are simply made up by the strong. Cirno doesn't listen to Seija's lecture on amorality and simply freezes her into a giant hunk of ice. Everyone in Gensokyo is shocked, but relieved.

Yukari reveals Cirno was never meant to be a distraction at all: since there was a 0% failure rate for defeating Seija, thanks to centuries of planning, Yukari just wanted to give Seija the most humiliating defeat she could and deflate her argument about "the strong and the weak" by being defeated by a fairy. Aya is hailed as a hero for rallying Gensokyo to hold back Seija just in time, while Cirno is hailed as a hero for stopping Seija (and given the reward, which sadly turns out to be a steakhouse giftcard). The Grassroots Youkai and tsukumogami apologize for their actions, but Gensokyo gladly accepts it since causing incidents is what youkai do.

Howevery, everyone demands Seija be killed. Reimu refuses, and Yukari supports her decision: not because it'll make her the better person, but because Seija WANTS them to kill her. If Seija dies, once the amanojaku find out, they will use her death as proof Gensokyo is corrupt and send even more amanojaku. Rather, the best choice is to simply accept Seija as one of them while ignoring her lies: it will make Seija powerless, miserable, and outcaste amongst the amanojaku who believe she "went native" in Gensokyo. Reimu asks Yukari why Seija did this, but not even Yukari knows: all she does know is her grudge against this land will never cease, and she will refuse to leave, no matter what. So, Reimu vows that they must never give up, either: they'll continue making the land the opposite of what Seija says to keep proving her wrong.

Reimu then goes to see Shinmyoumaru, who is distraught over the loss of her castle and destroying Gensokyo. Reimu says she forgives her and swears to protect her, no matter what, in the meantime. Shinmyoumaru still feels horrible that she's the last of the inchlings, but Yukari tells her she's not: Seija lied about that, too, and that her next goal is to rebuild the kingdom of the Inchlings. Shinmyoumaru cries tears of joy knowing Gensokyo is nothing like Seija described, all as everyone gathers around to offer their condolences to her.

Raiko then thanks Reimu and Shinmyoumaru for saving the tsukumogami, vowing to make the paradise for tools that Seija never gave them, and Reimu gives her word that she will not attack Raiko's tsukumogami. Everyone's next challenge is to rebuild Gensokyo, but not before retiring to (what's left of) the Scarlet Devil Mansion for a quick afterparty.

Keine and Mokou return to the village to open up the shelter. Akyuu, knowing Cirno must've worked with Sekibanki to freeze those heads and block the shelter, leaves with a refreshed optimism for Gensokyo, taking back everything she said before about Gensokyo being on the verge of collapse and tearing itself apart. Akyuu and Kosuzu watch the sunrise together as the village rushes to repair itself, and Akyuu says that as long as we never forget why we love Gensokyo in the first place, there'll always be another day.

The End


My goal here was to write a story where the ending fills people with hope and a refreshed love and appreciation for Touhou: a reminder that at the end of the day, past any drama that happens in the story or in our community, Touhou is just a game, a game that's brought so many different people together from across the world. The story begins with Gensokyo in political turmoil, but ends with everyone putting aside their differences for one moment because of how much they love the Eastern Wonderland of Gensokyo. As I said before, I want something that'll be the opposite of Diamond In The Rough, which ends on hopelessness, nihilism, despair, and confusion over who was really in the right: here, I want hope, victory, a sense of accomplishment and success, clear heroes celebrating their victories, and the villain finally defeated.

The current target release date is August 12, 2018 (the five-year anniversary of DDC), but I'm known for missing deadlines.

I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think, any plot holes or whatever I should clear up, suggestions, etc.
 
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: the old guy on March 28, 2018, 07:21:38 PM
Please don't post your ideas in a wall of words. I couldn't read it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Spaztique on March 29, 2018, 03:12:43 AM
Please don't post your ideas in a wall of words. I couldn't read it.

Just reformatted it, so it's all broken up by scenes/beats. Plus, I got shorter versions of each chapter. I hope that helps.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jouhei on March 31, 2018, 03:08:35 AM
Jouhei here, first and foremost: HOLY SHIT SPAZTIQUE!

OK, fanboy aside, I have to thank you, DiTR was my introduction to the world of Touhou fanfics(and was my drive to write Touhou fics), I was(and mostly still am) a mostly games fan, read the art books and used the wiki for manga details(though I sometimes just ignore the manga) if the fic involves events from the manga. I decided to write a dark fic, it came out so wrong I just dropped it, I was so angry at myself that I became too shy to post my own fics. Until I read A Fool's Reality, that fic changed how I would write forever, it wasn't a deconstruction of the self-insert Isekai genre, it was a straight deconstruction of Touhou as a whole and I loved it(it was my inspiration for the idea of a Hakurei Maiden gone wrong, not evil just not what Gensokyo needs) I was heartbroken at what happened to one of the characters and I almost cried, shit goes so FUBAR that all the cast(up until 9 anyway since 10 never got to happen) becomes traumatized.

But enough of my fanboying over great things, I've recently decided to post a Crossover fic on ff.net, it crosses Touhou with Persona and the way you wrote that you wanted to show Gensokyo at it's best made me want to give the girls a happier ending while keeping the Protagonist(named Shuujinkou, I know creative) also geting one(since her interests oppose those of Gensokyo). I became interested with the concepts of "Youkai Death", " Artificial Youkai" and "Youkai becoming Human", so what better series to cross over with than the series that has an unobtanium for supernatural creatures(Biomagnetite)?

It gives a Metaphysical explanation for how are Youkai born and has the Collective Unconscious as the place they go after death(unless struck down by another human directly), for the third concept though, it became my idea for a certain OC. The basic idea is that without a Hakurei Maiden(Reimu went rouge after getting her soul swapped with a demon and is out of reach thus her body is killed before she destroys Gensokyo and her soul is in the demon's body and enjoys life in the outside thus Gensokyo needs a new Maiden) Gensokyo will last only a few days, lucky for the Youkai, Reimu has a niece(not daughter, this happens after LoLK and AoCF couldn't happen) who is in her Teenage years(this feels like a self insert but bear with me here), unluckily said niece is an atheist who refuses to become a Designated Heroine and while Yukari insisted on not using force(she's smart and knows that in the outside world they're less than able to beat a Hakurei without risking killing her, also she's trying to be nice for once), some Youkai still tried to force her to come and she awakens to her power as a Persona User, the plot has mostly interactions between the protagonist and her friends and Youkai attacking her are not too prominent so most of the action comes in the form of fighting Artificial Youkai made to destroy Gensokyo and to not mess with the likes of the Touhou cast they hunt down the protagonist and try to kill the Youkai in a war of attrition.

The main characters will develop in one way or another(since one of them is the hero from Persona 5 who just wants to survive being in a delinquent school after his life got ruined at the end of his game and another is Reimu herself trying to fix her messed up family but being conflicted about leaving Gensokyo) and find a way to have it end in at least a Bittersweet ending(frankly, I don't believe most of the girls deserve a happy ending with their actions, so I'll at least give them a Bittersweet one), your idea of having Gensokyo drop it's political war going on to unite under the same goal sounded really nice, however I want to instead of having them fix the issue by banding against a common enemy, have everyone be turned into a human with no powers and rebuild their lives from the ground up(it's the best ending I could give Gensokyo that doesn't involve going "It was all a dream" or "in the end, choosing your own path is wrong").

Phew! I hope I can get some reactions to the idea, I'm kinda shy about posting what I write because I'm really new and I really want to grow past just writing fan fiction and begin writing my own stories(I just wanted to write an alternate story to a really good series)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Elmithian on April 12, 2018, 11:52:11 AM
I have a "minor" inquiry.

I was wondering if converting a Touhou Quest I am running on another forum over to here would be okay? This isn't a group run adventure as it revolves around a singular main protagonist where the readers, at the end of every update, decide what action the protagonist should take. In short, it is an interactive adventure of sorts.

Now, I am not sure if it should go into the Scarlet Library or Rumia's party games due to it's nature. Considering that the decisions are made on another forum I would somewhat lean onto the Library, but due to it's inherent nature as a quest it also leans into the Rumia's Party Games.

Then there is also the issue of the nature of the Forums the Quest is being run on. It is specifically on NSFW forums, I do personally write there because I prefer free reign (censorship free-ish) over the material I create above exposure and mass audience. Nevertheless, the focus on the more... questionable material in the story will be minimal (is pretty much nonexistent at the moment) so I can easily remove and change those scenes, implying rather than describing as they say. Fade in, fade out... if slightly less clich?.

It helps that lewd stuff isn't the focus, the action, story and characters are.

There is also the subject of the Style I use in my writing. I use a lot of images to bring specific themes, feelings and ideas across on top of occasional usage of music and such. Now, I have read the rules regarding images here and I would be using a lot of links instead, especially during the Danmaku battles. Which is a shame, since it will take the readers a bit out of the story, but it is a compromise I am willing to make if I can share the story with other Touhou fans here. ; )

Lastly, this is a crossover quest. Pok?mon/Touhou one.
Yes, yes, I am sure there are dozen if not hundreds of "Touhoumon" and such fics on the net. But this ain't a Touhoumon quest, or anything even remotely close to that.
It is a personal concoction brewed by me and was left on low boil until it was ready for consumption. I can't guarantee amazing flow or style, but it might pleasantly surprise you nevertheless.

So, what say you? Stay or slay?
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jouhei on April 12, 2018, 11:23:42 PM
Sounds really interesting (I loved Monsters in Paradise just for the scene where Flandre loses to a Skarmory because it has Sturdy which negates instakills). I want to know more, sadly I'm not important in this board(even if I try my hardest to get reactions from my weird ideas)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Pergold on April 16, 2018, 08:07:17 PM
I had the idea to make a fanfic focusing on Flandre Scarlet and its set to the tune of Pink Floyd's The Wall and incorporates the songs into the story as Flandre builds herself a wall between herself and the rest of Gensokyo and fills the empty spaces with vice as she forms a rock band with the Prismriver sisters and gets consumed by the worms and becomes a neo-imperialist
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jouhei on April 17, 2018, 12:47:32 AM
Sounds depressing, I like it.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Pergold on April 17, 2018, 12:32:28 PM
If I used the movie as a base, all the animated bits would probably take place in Flandre's mind (i.e. Goodbye Blue Sky, Empty Spaces, The Trial, the end bit to Waiting For The Worms)


For instance: (The Empty Spaces part)
Flandre's mind as alight with the apparitions of flowers, dancing together in a loving embrace then cascading into violence, the bulbs turning into grotesque animals biting each until one of them is grabbed by a giant bird of prey. "What shall we use to fill..." Flandre paused, "...the empty spaces. Where waves of hunger roar?"
Giant buildings of the Outside World began to fill her mind. "Shall we set out acrosss this sea of faces, in search of more applause?"
The wall was decorated with material goods: cars, stereos, gaming systems, tv's and the such. Then the wall zoomed across the Gensokyoian landscape, the bricks screaming as they tore through the land. Flandre saw Reimu's shrine as the wall roared towards it. The Hakurei Shrine was decimated as the wall broke it in half. The timbers forming a neon pachinko parlor, spitting out bright red bricks.
"Shall we buy a new guitar? Shall we drive a more powerful car? Shall we work straight through the night? Shall we get into fights? Leave the lights on? Drop bombs; do tours of the east, contract disease?"
Forms of women, food, guns, gohei's, needles and guitars melted into each other like the waves of a rough sea. Flandre continued on, "Bury bones? Break up homes send flowers by phone? Take to drink, go to shrinks? Give up meat? Rarely sleep? Keep people as pets? Train dogs, race rats, fill the atic with cash? Bury treasure, store up leisure but never relax at all!" Flandre giggled, "With our backs to the wall."
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jouhei on April 17, 2018, 03:12:57 PM
Which Flandre are you gonna use? Sane, Smartass and Nerdy canon Flan or Insane, Sadistic and Sociopathic Fanon Flan? Both work for your idea.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Pergold on April 17, 2018, 06:57:08 PM
Which Flandre are you gonna use? Sane, Smartass and Nerdy canon Flan or Insane, Sadistic and Sociopathic Fanon Flan? Both work for your idea.
I want to start out with a sane Flandre but becomes more unstable as she builds The Wall via her father's death, her sister's overprotectiveness and a bad relationship and gets consumed by the worms at the end of "Comfortably Numb" and into "In The Flesh" when she becomes a fascist, but regains some of that sanity at "Stop" and "The Trial".
So in short probably a mix of the three as Flandre would basically be a crazy loli version of Roger Waters.

Also I think a prologue of Flandre talking to Eirin based off "The Final Cut" would might be a good idea
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jouhei on April 18, 2018, 02:42:18 AM
Sounds kinda like what I did to Flandre(still draft so how final this is will be questionable). After Helel(Hebrew puns) evaporates Remilia, Sakuya goes so insane that she believes herself to BE Remilia and that Sakuya died, takes Gungnir and goes hunting for Helel. Flandre becomes a depressed Omnicidal Maniac who is hunting down Sakuya to take her out of her misery and as she journeys Sumaru City(where this crossover takes place) she comes to terms with her sister's demise, becomes a less impulsive head of her family and eventually decides to never take the ones around her for granted. Of course, this is more of a spinoff(of a crossover fic to boot, I think I'm getting too ambitious)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Elmithian on April 18, 2018, 01:29:35 PM
Sounds really interesting (I loved Monsters in Paradise just for the scene where Flandre loses to a Skarmory because it has Sturdy which negates instakills). I want to know more, sadly I'm not important in this board(even if I try my hardest to get reactions from my weird ideas)

Well, I will just post the first chapter or two in the revised form as a post on this part of the forums and if there is an interest for it I will keep posting the revised chapters. After that we can see if it should remain here or on RPG. ; )
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Helepolis on April 19, 2018, 06:50:41 AM
I have a "minor" inquiry.
 
<snip>

So, what say you? Stay or slay?
Apologies for the delayed reply. We've discussed this among the mod team and found it more fitting to be posted/created in Patchouli's Scarlet Library instead of Rumia's Party Games. So feel free to start your thread on this forum section.

Cheers,

Helepolis
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Elmithian on April 19, 2018, 11:38:29 AM
Apologies for the delayed reply. We've discussed this among the mod team and found it more fitting to be posted/created in Patchouli's Scarlet Library instead of Rumia's Party Games. So feel free to start your thread on this forum section.

Cheers,

Helepolis
Thanks a lot for the reply. I will post it on this part of the forums then. ^__^
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Jikan on February 18, 2019, 11:19:09 PM
The 'what if' genre is something I've seen done both well and terribly.
In this case, it would be "what if everyone could get what they ask for?".
The idea is mostly everyone gets what they want, but things don't quite end up the way they would like it, either at the very start or later.

Here's the outline of it, along with a few authors notes:
Yakuri Yakumo closes another border between Gensokyo and the outside world that she has recently opened.
Closing the border, she finishes her goals and gives some instructions to Ran Yakumo, as she goes to sleep.

(The perspective now moves to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.)
Marisa 'borrows' some books from Patchouli's library and Patchouli is seen yelling at Marisa for 'stealing' her books.
She gives a bit of a chase, but her anemia causes her to become too exhausted to continue the chase.
Marisa is seen on her broom flying off into the distance.
Patchouli murmurs that she wishes Marisa would stop stealing her books.

Reimu Hakurei is now seen after having resolved yet another incidence.
The weather is somewhat cloudy and Reimu looks up at the sky and voices one of her complaints of why there is so many incidents.

Rinnosuke Morichika looks at the computers he has stacked up and thinks of what could happen if he could make them work.

Luna Child, Star Sapphire and Sunny Milk discuss increasing the size of their pranks and stepping up their game.

Alice Margatroid is working on another doll and wishes she would be able to make an independent doll.

The pattern continues and we see either the complaints or wishes of characters, things they would like to change.

(From here, it can become either a comedy or serious story, the results of what they wish to happen will vary a lot depending on where this concept heads.)
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Hieda no Mukyu on February 19, 2019, 05:31:33 PM
Marisa 'borrows' some books from Patchouli's library and Patchouli is seen yelling at Marisa for 'stealing' her books.
She gives a bit of a chase, but her anemia causes her to become too exhausted to continue the chase.
Marisa is seen on her broom flying off into the distance.
Patchouli murmurs that she wishes Marisa would stop stealing her books.

I am seeing most of this passage as illustrated by Coffgirl.
Title: Re: Aya's Writing Workshop - Bring us your story ideas and outlines!
Post by: Not-Marisa on May 02, 2019, 09:36:31 AM
A mini-summary of a fanfiction idea I've been trying to work on. I haven't advanced it very much yet, so the summary is far from complete...

In the year 2037, NASA, JAXA, and the ESA start a Moon base, sending a lander and a basic habitat module on the North Pole. The Lunarians, fearing another invasion, prepare to repel the humans from the Moon yet again, but the barrier that surrounded the Lunar Capital began to ripple and fade, something an astronaut witnessed and recorded.