Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:22:31 PM

Title: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:22:31 PM
Send me the following email:

Quote
Hey <me>:

I have a folder on my desktop; not sure what it is, but believe it has something to do with refresh?

<attachment>

What might this be?  Do I still need this?

Thanks!

And then proceed to attach a 1GB zip file of the entire folder.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:26:49 PM
Another thing not to do:
Ignore everything I say and then proceed to do the opposite and then get pissed at me when it doesn't work.

Oh, and then ignore when I tell you repeatedly I can't hear a word you're saying and put me on speakerphone.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Zengar Zombolt on April 27, 2011, 07:31:04 PM
attach a 1GB zip file
feels so cash man
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:38:05 PM
It crashes my email client if I try to do anything with it, owns.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Tamashii Kanjou on April 27, 2011, 07:40:31 PM
1GB?

You'd think that said person would have some sense to either...

A) Warn you about the size of it first before sending it.
... OR
B) Try and briefly sum up the contents of the folder and what may or may not be attached for closer inspection.

Surely it isn't that hard to think about. Stupid person, look what you're doing to TSO! A stressed TSO is not fine at all.  :ohdear:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Zengar Zombolt on April 27, 2011, 07:41:19 PM
It crashes my email client if I try to do anything with it, owns.
Hahaha it's like a reverse lockdown you wouldn't be able to help if you wanted
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Edible on April 27, 2011, 07:41:51 PM
The second I hear anyone switch to speakerphone I tell them I'm having trouble hearing them.

I hate that shit.  You want handsfree, use a headset.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:43:32 PM
The second I hear anyone switch to speakerphone I tell them I'm having trouble hearing them.

I hate that shit.  You want handsfree, use a headset.
I normally don't mind it unless the guy is mumbling.  Worst part is I couldn't hear him when he was on handset and he decides to switch to speakerphone with no warning.

I spent 3 hours with this speakerphone guy this morning.  I'd tell him to do something and he wouldn't tell me he finished until I asked him like 10 minutes later and he'd act all indignant going "OH I WAS DONE 5 MINUTES AGO".
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:48:08 PM
A typical exchange with speakerphone guy

:V I need you to give me the IP address of the new machine
:derp: The old one?
:V The new one.
:derp: The old one?

:V What's that IP address?
:derp: mumble mumble .253.2 mumble mumble
:V Can you repeat that?
:derp: mumble mumble .243. mumble 23 (note he changed numbers even on the ones I could hear)
:V I'm sorry, again?
:derp: (turns away from phone) mumble mumble mumble
:V :persona:

What should have been a 15 minute call took 3 hours.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on April 27, 2011, 07:51:04 PM
TSO, when are you, me, and the other IT types all going out drinking and trading Nam-esque war stories?
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:52:43 PM
When I stop wondering if my headset cord will support my body weight.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: HakureiSM on April 27, 2011, 07:54:20 PM
I was on the car with my mother today. She has an iPhone.
She was driving, brother called. Speakerphone tiem

HELLO SON WHAT IS IT
MOM CAN I BORROW THE CAR
I'M ACTUALLY USING IT RIGHT NOW, I'M WITH YOUR BROTHER, WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET
OH I SEE.... WHAT?!
I'M USING THE CAR, SPEAKING OF WHICH YOU STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE CAR FIXED
OH I SEE... WHAT?!
THE CAR. YOU HAVE TO GET IT FIXED
OH YEAH I FORGOT SORRY. HEY MOM GUESS WHAT I GOT THE JOB BLABLABLA
OH WOW GREAT CONGRATULATIONS
[...]
OKAY SON I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER
OKAY MOM BYE
/me goes deaf.

seriously
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 07:58:06 PM
Speakerphones are the worst thing ever.  Whoever invented them should have been strung up by a phone cord.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 08:03:25 PM
Another thing that annoys the hell out of me.  Finish up a call with one user, user goes OH HOLD ON MY COWORKER HAS A PROBLEM TOO *passes phone*.  If you have a problem why not, I dunno, CALL?  Why hand the phone off, spend 20 minutes explaining your problem and then go "oh I'm not at my desk I was just in the area" so I can't help you anyways.

Also telling me that you're glad I'm not in India and acting like it's a compliment is a surefire way to get on my good side.  Always. ::)
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Iryan on April 27, 2011, 08:06:06 PM
Also telling me that you're glad I'm not in India and acting like it's a compliment is a surefire way to get on my good side.  Always. ::)
Wait, you mean you are NOT from India?  ???
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Sefam on April 27, 2011, 08:07:28 PM
TSO seems really scary when she's angry :ohdear:

Can you tell me who is dense enough to put a 1GB file in an e-mail? And I hate most speakerphones, you have to yell through them for the other person on the other side to hear you :|

Wait, you mean you are NOT from India?  ???

Indian TSO!

...That was only funny in my head.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 08:13:08 PM
NEW PET PEEVE

Ongoing issue with user, told them I was leaving at 4:30 for the day.  Calls at 4:15 going "I know you're about to leave can you get to me yet?" after I told him I'd call him back after I finished another call (just got off), knowing full well call will take at least an hour to complete.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Alice★f on April 27, 2011, 08:15:01 PM
You know what's horrible? Oh man...

Some phone lines in 3rd world countries are in horrible condition. Every time I call my grandmother, there is an incredible amount of static and her speech is almost unintelligible. I thought I understood Spanish told in most dialects, but when you have this kind of condition, it is almost impossible to understand what the person on the other side is saying no matter how trained your hearing is.

And guess what? I had to help my grandmother fix a printer. She has no knowledge with computers, and with this condition, I failed immediately. Technical support, like TSO just showed above, is loathsome and a royal pain in the ass. Telling her how to change ink cartridges took almost an hour to explain how to do, and in the end... She was unable to do it...

I was only able to witstand 45 minutes until I threw the towel. Incredibly frustrating. Most other things in life do not come close :<
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 08:16:37 PM
I've been doing it for a living for the past 4 years :D (someone get me out of here please)
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Unassuming Squid on April 27, 2011, 08:26:20 PM
Teaching my mother how to use almost any form of technology for the past few years has made me an extremely patient person.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 08:26:36 PM
Oh sweet a screamer

:V I'm sorry I can't finish this today, I need to get a new ID file and the person who generates these typically leaves around 3:30pm
>:( SO MY NEW MACHINE DOESN'T WORK?!
:V No sir, I can't do anything until I get the ID file
>:( WELL WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE ME WAIT 4 HOURS BEFORE YOU CALLED ME BACK?! YOU COULD HAVE FIGURED THIS OUT HOURS AGO
:ohdear: Sir there's only one of me and I get 40-50 calls a day and I get to them in the order I receive them
>:( YEAH BUT I CALLED HOURS AGO WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU CALL ME BACK?
:ohdear: Because I get calls all through the day, if another call comes in right after I can't just hang up on them.
>:( YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU SHOULD HAVE!  I GOT HERE FIRST YOU NEED TO FIX MY SHIT FIRST!
:ohdear: Well I can't do anything now sir, I won't get an ID file until tomorrow.
>:( I'M CALLING YOUR MANAGER I WANT YOUR ASS FIRED FOR THIS INCOMPETENCE

Thank god I already put in my 2 weeks and I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: UncertainJakutten on April 27, 2011, 08:28:23 PM
Can it really be called a "living"? It sounds more like a "Slowly dying"
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 08:28:47 PM
Awesome, phone ringing at 4:29pm, boss is in the room looks at me

:derp: Are you going to answer it?
:V No it's 4:29pm.
:derp: You better answer the phone or else.
:V Or else.... they call back tomorrow?

Gives me a real serious look so I goto answer it and whoops goes to voicemail sorry.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on April 27, 2011, 08:38:33 PM
I've perfected the focused, concentrated look and demeanor so that I can look like I'm in the middle of something at all times.

 :ohdear: Hey Mike, you in the middle of something?
 8)  Crap, crap... one sec...
 :ohdear:  When you're done.
 8) Is this critical?  I gotta get this one right after I'm done with this.
 :ohdear:  Oh, no worries.  Hey, Phil...

And yeah, I think I've perfected the art of call dodging as soon as 4:45 rolls around. 

[edible]Fixed![/edible]
[MJP]Further fixed![/MJP]
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 09:13:21 PM
I used to wear my headset around my neck all the time and pretend I was on the call.  That worked for a week but my boss is an ass and now asks me to do things anyways and gets pissed at me when I tell him I'm on a call.

Best part is when they're having a problem and my call is in a lull I'll try to help and he'll yell at me "aren't you on a call finish that!"

If I don't drop everything he gets pissed and if I try to multitask I get yelled at.  Awesome.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 27, 2011, 09:36:22 PM
I am curious, how do you deal with the varied lexicons people come up with to describe things? I have found my Grans, in their weekly "Why isn't this working?" report, have developed a number of ways to talk about what they don't understand.

"I tried to download this website" <---Clicked a link
"It keeps coming up in front" <---I don't even remember.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Iryan on April 27, 2011, 09:41:36 PM
"It keeps coming up in front" <---I don't even remember.
Could mean that the window stays on the topmost layer, no matter which other window you are clicking, like it is with some error messages.  :derp:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Shadoweh on April 27, 2011, 09:43:51 PM
When I stop wondering if my headset cord will support my body weight.
It doesn't, just so you know. >.>
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Iryan on April 27, 2011, 09:45:40 PM
It doesn't, just so you know. >.>
You can always try it with your w-lan cable instead.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: InfernalExuro on April 27, 2011, 09:46:10 PM
I'm fortunate enough to have a relatively teach-savvy mom and a stepdad that used to work for Charter, so while I'm there I don't have to deal with anything like that. MY dad, on the other hand, is always calling me for help with 'the facebooks' and showing him how to delete his browsing history. You know, for entirely legitimate reasons that wouldn't get him crucified by my stepmom. I'm fairly sure I'd off myself in a situation like yours, though.

I've got a few rifles you could borrow, if you need... I'm sure nobody would judge you.  :getdown:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Whatthe on April 27, 2011, 09:50:40 PM
You can always try it with your w-lan cable instead.
Or, better yet, try it with a Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Jana on April 27, 2011, 09:56:28 PM
I hate that shit.  You want handsfree, use a headset.

I wish more people would do that. I almost got run over last night by some lady yammering away on the phone, only 1 hand on the wheel...
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Edible on April 27, 2011, 10:01:21 PM
I wish more people would do that. I almost got run over last night by some lady yammering away on the phone, only 1 hand on the wheel...

I trust handsfree on the roads about as much as I trust people with one hand holding the phone.

People are dumb and get distracted no matter what they're doing.  Require an idiot to use a bluetooth headset and they'll fumble with it trying to get it turned on and hooked to their ear instead of screwing with the phone itself.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Jana on April 27, 2011, 10:05:38 PM
I suppose that's true. I still feel like it'd prevent a few accidents if people kept both hands on the wheel, though. :\
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 27, 2011, 10:23:20 PM
Could mean that the window stays on the topmost layer, no matter which other window you are clicking, like it is with some error messages.  :derp:

I think it was an error message. Thinking back, it struck me as odd because it was never described like an error message, such as "little gray square" or anything.

But yeah, the Grans have a way of creating new and exciting computer jargon I have to ask like a paragraph worthy of questions to dissect.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 10:25:26 PM
I am curious, how do you deal with the varied lexicons people come up with to describe things? I have found my Grans, in their weekly "Why isn't this working?" report, have developed a number of ways to talk about what they don't understand.

"I tried to download this website" <---Clicked a link
"It keeps coming up in front" <---I don't even remember.
Oh that stuff doesn't bother me, I can figure it out pretty quickly what they mean and it's actually kind of funny and cute sometimes.  Like I had a call where she kept on saying she couldn't get Excel to work, and I remote in and I open up Excel and I'm like umm it's working.  She meant she couldn't get to her network share where all her Excel files were at.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Byaaakuren on April 27, 2011, 10:39:24 PM
/me hides in a corner after seeing an angry TSO
 :ohdear:

What I like is how some people ask me questions regarding stuff such as
"So, are we allowed graphing calculators?"
"How many exams are there?"
"What's your grading policy?"
etc. (I don't remember any others and I really don't want to dig through my inbox for them)

All of them have the same answer: "It's on the syllabus." Doesn't sound like much, but imagine getting those questions from 15 people.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Omba on April 27, 2011, 10:54:10 PM
I once wrote instructions on how to extract zip files attached to an email for my mother. And then she still asked me how to do it every other time, even after I slowly showed her multiple times.
Had no problems figuring out Facebook on her own, though.  :colonveeplusalpha:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 27, 2011, 10:59:25 PM
You can always try it with your w-lan cable instead.
You mean the big telephone cable?  I don't got one of those I always got on linkskey.  Oh I don't have a router I just thought it got internet automatically.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Esifex on April 27, 2011, 11:11:38 PM
At some point your frustration will become reality-warping, and you'll be able to hang yourself with a wireless phone cord.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Drake on April 27, 2011, 11:42:31 PM
take one end of cord and lay it straight down to a length, curve it back to your starting point, then back down again
then wrap it around the two lines you've made so you have a small loop at the bottom
continue wrapping the cord around the three lines spiraling upwards until you hit the top
take the two cord ends in one hand, take the loop in the other, pull tight

wait why do i know this
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: HakureiSM on April 28, 2011, 01:21:16 AM
:handsetstuff:
Honestly?I agree with you on everything. People should use bluetooth or even wired sets when driving, always.
Some dickhead judge here decided it was cool to outlaw them too, though.
Didn't change a damn thing except people stopped feeling the need to buy bluetooth sets, now all they have to do is hide the phone when they see police.

Way to go.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Byaaakuren on April 28, 2011, 01:28:19 AM
...here's one that got me pissed off at a student (a year ago):

This person missed the second in-class exam (the only one she missed), and it was nearing the end of the semester. She wasn't doing too well so I decided to be nice and let her take it. I scheduled it on a day I was off at a specific time. She even agreed to the date and time. I got there about half an hour early. The appointed time came, and she didn't show up. I figured she'd be late so I checked my email just in case. Nothing. Half an hour later, didn't show up. No email. Another half an hour later later, nothing. Then I decided to leave, and was expecting an email later that night. Guess what? No email. The week after, it was time for the final exam. She was there, waiting to take the final. Right after she hands in the exam, she asked me to let her take the second exam. She had the guts to ask for a make-up exam 2. I was surprised when she requested to take it. After making me wait without any notice the week before, did she really expect me to be nice about it again? If she sent me an email why she didn't show up, I would've understood but she sent me nothing in regards to why she wasn't there. Of course, I denied it.

Seriously, if an appointment with me is made, SHOW THE FUCK UP OR AT LEAST LET ME KNOW IF YOU'LL BE LATE/CAN'T MAKE IT.

(*I don't remember what I did to have the patience to wait an hour. I should've left after half an hour*)
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Aba Matindesu! on April 28, 2011, 03:14:17 AM
This thread makes me not want to work as a call center agent anymore ._.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Tamer Anode/Cathode on April 28, 2011, 04:05:45 AM
It's because of seeing nightmare stories like this that I never look back on my decision to take library science instead of computer science. Handling people when they're in a good mood is hard enough for me...
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 28, 2011, 04:48:10 AM
And you guys wonder how I tolerate running you gaggle of misfits :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Tamashii Kanjou on April 28, 2011, 04:52:02 AM
It's probably because deep down you love us all so much....

That or you're not telling us about some sort of secret contract that's keeping you tied here.  :derp:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: HolmCross on April 28, 2011, 04:52:27 AM
TSO, when are you, me, and the other IT types all going out drinking and trading Nam-esque war stories?

^^^This. Although I cannot imagine the ungodly levels of boozeahol that would be required.

I've been working on a tech support desk for about 3 years now. The job's easy and the pay is good, but it lowers your overall opinion of humanity somewhat. However when you get a competent and intelligent client they shine all the brighter. My pet hate - having to refer to the computer as the "hard drive" every single day. God, I hate myself every time I say it. But you have to, otherwise they just turn the monitor on and off when I ask the client to reboot. Kinda goes like this every. single. day:

"Okay, sounds like the computer is frozen. Can you hold down the power button on the computer for 10 secs until it shuts down and then turn it back on?"
"That was too quick, are you still on the same screen?"
"That was the monitor, can you press the button on the tower? The hard drive? I know the screen is going dark, but it's not resetting the computer"
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: HolmCross on April 28, 2011, 04:55:40 AM
That or you're not telling us about some sort of secret contract that's keeping you tied here.  :derp:

Kinda makes you wonder what was traded in return?
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Agent of the BSoD on April 28, 2011, 05:37:14 AM
How about this, which I just found a little while ago. (http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/memes-or-you-could-try-banging-it-against-a-wall.jpg)
I wonder if this has happened to anyone yet?
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: triangles on April 28, 2011, 10:21:30 AM
"I didn't know it was homework so I didn't do it  so you can't mark me off :derp:"

Oh really?  I only announced it 3 times in class, posted it on the course website (with the packet in case you lost it!) and had the foresight to include this at the top.
(http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/360/ragec.jpg) (http://img339.imageshack.us/i/ragec.jpg/)

Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Aba Matindesu! on April 28, 2011, 10:41:45 AM
And you guys wonder how I tolerate running you gaggle of misfits :V

I call name-change to "Ms. Fit", "Ms. Creant", et cetera.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 28, 2011, 01:16:51 PM
I call name-change to "Ms. Fit", "Ms. Creant", et cetera.

And now you know why Tso won't gave me the power to change names.

Also, I imagine a gathering of the text support peoples would be like "How I almost got him" episode of Batman the Animated Series. Complete with MJP declaring "I threw a rock at him!"
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Tengukami on April 28, 2011, 01:37:24 PM
Par for the course in journalism:

"Yes, sure, I'd love to have you interview me. Let's meet at X date/time, at my place."

Things go well. Subject A - an internationally known politician - is chatty as all hell, but I keep the conversation on topic with the strength normally used to steer tugboats through hurricanes. And they always say a chatty interview is better than having to wring every single word out of someone.

At the interview's conclusion: "Oh, can you send me a copy of this?"

One of the maddening things about journalism in this country is that people often expect to get to see a copy of their interview for approval. If they don't approve it, we'll print it anyway, but with the disclosure that this is an "unauthorized" interview - yes, even if we have the entire thing recorded. We've uploaded .mp3s of interviews before for this very reason, but the hassle is so great that we usually just let them read the damn interview, if they ask.

"Sure, I'll send it over tonight."

Typing up the Q&A from the dictophone, I email it immediately, and receive a reply a few minutes later. "This is too long. Can you trim it some?"

Keep in mind this politician is expected to read legislation that can be upwards of 50,000 words, and I've just sent an 1,800 word interview. I trim it to 1,500, and send it back.

"This is still a little on the long side. Can you trim it some more?"

My response? "No. I'm dropping the interview. Best of luck in all your endeavors."

Now this politician has blanked us out, doesn't acknowledge me in the street, and still pretends to be "fighting for the people" and whatever.

I wish I could say this didn't happen often, but it does - people who need the publicity, even from journalists who are on their side, essentially biting the hand trying to feed them because of their own ego and vanity.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Sefam on April 28, 2011, 01:49:45 PM
And you guys wonder how I tolerate running you gaggle of misfits :V

Because you love us!!! <3

(That didn't sound hypocrite at all from my end)

But did you get this kind of people everyday TSO? Must be pretty damn annoying.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: XephyrEnigma on April 28, 2011, 01:57:53 PM
How about this, which I just found a little while ago. (http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/memes-or-you-could-try-banging-it-against-a-wall.jpg)

It amazes me how some people actually think like that, when they don't know how viruses work. In time, they'll all learn.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on April 28, 2011, 03:25:54 PM
 :V "Can you install Solitaire on my computer?  It really helps me concentrate!" 
 :smug: "Sure, lemme take a crack at it."
*log about 20 minutes of getting some water, and having a bowel movement that was more productive than anything these people do all day*
:smug: "It looks like this is going to take longer than I anticipated - we'll have to redownload the XP installer CD.  Since that might take some time, I'll have to make a project of it.  When's your boss free to discuss this?"

Awwww yeeeeah.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 28, 2011, 03:30:10 PM
LOL yeah Ashland decided to pull Solitaire and the other games from the new image we're deploying on machines and lots of people got pissed at us over it.  I dunno how many calls I got asking where Solitaire and FreeCell are and having all sorts of indignant looks and language thrown at me
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on April 28, 2011, 03:49:10 PM
Oh, she's my second case ever to do Solitaire and both are still active in my queue.  One is a billed-hourly user and it's the lowest possible priority we can assign, and this one person is literally checking with her manager as to ensuring it's OK for us to install Solitaire.  Oh, to be a fly on the wall. 
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Sefam on April 28, 2011, 04:27:41 PM
LOL yeah Ashland decided to pull Solitaire and the other games from the new image we're deploying on machines and lots of people got pissed at us over it.  I dunno how many calls I got asking where Solitaire and FreeCell are and having all sorts of indignant looks and language thrown at me

I hate Solitaire so much. It makes me cry when I see someone playing it :ohdear:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Tengukami on April 28, 2011, 04:42:46 PM
"It looks like this is going to take longer than I anticipated - we'll have to redownload the XP installer CD.  Since that might take some time, I'll have to make a project of it.  When's your boss free to discuss this?"

This is pretty hilarious.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 28, 2011, 06:23:06 PM
I hate Solitaire so much. It makes me cry when I see someone playing it :ohdear:

My grans use their laptop almost exclusively for Soltaire. They have like 15000 games recorded.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 28, 2011, 06:28:43 PM
I hate Solitaire so much. It makes me cry when I see someone playing it :ohdear:
It's very strange that my dad uses an old 2003 Toshiba laptop for mostly Spider Solitaire when he says it's for offline backup of sensitive data (wifi is fried and ethernet is unresponsive on that system).

My grans use their laptop almost exclusively for Soltaire. They have like 15000 games recorded.
Holy moly....

Hate it when people ask me about technical requests. There are a few that I don't mind about (usually those on blue chip investment or buying tips), but most of the time they come along the form of "how do I install software XYZ" or especially "I HATE MY WINDOWS [due to my user stupidity], HELP ME GO MAC!!!111!".
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on April 28, 2011, 07:11:23 PM
 :] My Outlook is disconnected.  I already closed and reopened it and restarted my computer.
 ::) And when you restarted, it completely powered off and back on?  Not just logged off and back on?
:] Right.
::) Okay, when you right-click on where it says Disconnected, does Work Offline have a check mark?
:] It doesn't.
::) Okay, let me have you go to Start, then Shut down.
:] And then click on Restart
::) It'll take a few minutes... my computer's really old, I'm supposed to get a new one soon.
:] (Clicking on the call start time to ensure I get all the minutes) That's fine.
::) (15 minutes later) How's it looking?  Are we rebooted?
:] ... just about to get into Outlook... (crestfallen voice) and it's working.
:smug: Glad to hear it.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 28, 2011, 07:13:51 PM
I told this guy to restart his machine like 12 times, he kept on insisting he did it already and it wouldn't work blah blah blah (there's a policy update for accessing certain network resources and it didn't go through).  After shouting and assuring me it wasn't going to work, about 5 minutes later, silence, then click.

:smug:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Menorah Jams, Pham on April 28, 2011, 07:42:37 PM
"You already restarted?  OK, let me just remote out to check your patch level."

>Remote out
>Start -> Run -> cmd
>systeminfo
>System Up Time or System Boot Time

"So, you see this line here that shows when your machine was booted, and how it reads about three days old?"

Problem, lying end-user?
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Drake on April 28, 2011, 08:15:02 PM
So I was about to go to sleep last night at like 3:30. Get into bed.

 :derp: Keith are you awake?
 :X no what do you want
 :derp: This thing just popped up on the computer.
 :X fuck
(Get up, go look at computer)
(Fake malware shit all over the fucking place)
 :X how did this happen
 :derp: It just popped up out of nowhere
 :X that doesn't happen unless it's been hiding and there is no way malware has kept itself hidden for two days (since I last checked up)
 :derp: (staring at screen blankly)
 :X Get out of the chair this might take a while.
(task manager disabled, reenable it, end processes, run mbam, delete some registry entries, look for files on computer)
(mbam finds 1294387193161 registry entries altered)
 :X So it looks like it popped up while you were using IE.
(while dad isn't looking open browsing history, nothing but homepage)
 :X Ok so I'm just going to check randomly over here...
(open temp internet files)

(porn site cookies everywhere)
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 28, 2011, 08:26:09 PM
Yeah don't remind me of the time I found a bunch of porn tags from Danbooru on my little brother's PC.  Turns out it was druggie brother's friend would come over while we're all at work and get on their PC and >______<;;

I'll have to give you guys transcripts of some of my weirder calls and interactions when I worked call support at Verizon and retail PC monkey at Circuit City.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Nobu on April 28, 2011, 08:33:25 PM
Yeah don't remind me of the time I found a bunch of porn tags from Danbooru on my little brother's PC.  Turns out it was druggie brother's friend would come over while we're all at work and get on their PC and >______<;;

Remind me never to let you go through my PC. :derp:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Sefam on April 28, 2011, 08:42:07 PM
Yeah don't remind me of the time I found a bunch of porn tags from Danbooru on my little brother's PC.  Turns out it was druggie brother's friend would come over while we're all at work and get on their PC and >______<;;

I'll have to give you guys transcripts of some of my weirder calls and interactions when I worked call support at Verizon and retail PC monkey at Circuit City.

uuuuuu awkwaaaarrrddddd!

That's why I never let anyone use my PC when I'm not around D8

Remind me never to let you go through my PC. :derp:

That too!
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: HakureiSM on April 28, 2011, 09:25:37 PM
Remind me never to let you go through my PC. :derp:
:derp: :fail: :derp:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Solais on April 28, 2011, 09:29:58 PM
And that's why you should disable cookies when you're looking at pornsites. And have AdBlock. And Spybot. And a legal copy of Kaspersky. :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Suikama on April 28, 2011, 09:32:12 PM
Remind me never to let you go through my PC. :derp:
:derp: :fail: :derp:
:colbert:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Omba on April 28, 2011, 09:42:38 PM
Remind me never to let you go through my PC. :derp:
Remind me to warn you against going through my PC unless you have the brain-bleach ready. :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: An Odd Sea Slug on April 28, 2011, 11:32:10 PM
There are reasons why I don't allow people to use my PC when I'm not looking (if I can help it). It helps that they know I can easily be driven to a homicidal rage on pretty much anything regarding it. These people can't even tell the difference between closing a single tab and the entire web-browser. Walking disasters they are. Mother somehow managed to kill an Opera session at least once. With tabs I REALLY needed open at that. Going through the history to get them back was not fun. And because they're too inept to use anything other than Internet Explorer, I have to clean this thing off every time they get off.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Byaaakuren on April 28, 2011, 11:39:30 PM
I'm so glad my parents don't know how to use a computer. ...I don't think I want them looking at what I have. I don't really feel comfortable letting other people use my electronics (except for my phone...as long it's to make a phone call), with the exception of some people.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Alice★f on April 29, 2011, 12:25:59 AM
 :derp: Hey Virus that msconfig thing you did the other day fucked up my computer.
 :V Huhwhat
 :derp: When I turn on the computer, it says Installing Updates but it never finishes
 :V Hmm, that's strange
 :derp: It goes 0% and then it just stops
 :V Your computer crashes?
 :derp: No, it just takes me to the password thing.
 :V Oh. That's normal then.
 :derp: It's happened twice already, it's not! I changed it back to what I used to have.
*Boots Computer
 :V Dude, don't do that! This thing is absurdly slow now. (He reenabled EVERYTHING in MSCONFIG and now the laptop is sluggish as hell.)
Anyway, once your computer's finished booting let me find out what's going on.

*Five minutes later.

 :derp: Oh you were right. The Update thing didn't pop up this time. Well I forgot how to change the startup thing, so can y--
 :V  Done. Don't mess around with the startup again.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Jes_Isaive on April 29, 2011, 12:56:06 AM
These people can't even tell the difference between closing a single tab and the entire web-browser.
This. This a thousand times. How people can't manage to see the difference between them I will never know. It even asks if you want to close the tab, or if you want to close everything.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 29, 2011, 01:00:37 AM
Time to describe more adventures in shitty tech support!

:ohdear: Hey EP I installed this Anti-Virus and shit, and my computer lags like hell, help plz
:V Em...okay.
:derp: I think it's due to malware, and AV program tells me to pay for updated definitions ~
:V OK then. I'll see what I can do about it....

/me patches system in 5 minutes after removing "antivirus" software which was really malware

:V There you have it. Need detai ~
:getdown: YESYESYESYESYES ~
:V So what I did was remove that "antivirus" software that was causing the issues becau ~
>:( WTF MATE I'M VULNERABLE TO MALWARE NOW HOW COULD YOU ~ !!!#!
??? Eh...I'll see you another time, then.

* a few days later *

::) ...yeah, so I protected myself with a different one and I'm still having problems!
:ohdear: ...:flamingv: ... :getdown:


Incident #2:

:derp: EP! I hate my old PC, I NEED a Mac! Which one fits me best? I CAN'T STAND THIS PLASTIC POS!
??? Eh...first of all, tell me why you need a Mac. You know, it's not for every ~
:V BECAUSE EVERYONE knows Macs have no viruses, are stupidly simple to use, are super-glossy and shiny, and are so damn AWESOME! Why else would you think people go for that system?
??? ...yeah, of course, but this is all advertising. Trust me, I'm a long-time Mac user, and really, it's not an everyman's system. Any other specific reasons?
:derp: ...I dunno what you're asking here, what other reasons could there be for Mac OS?
:V In that case, how about turning your Windows to a minimalist ~
>:( NONONONONOONONO ~
??? ...or there's always Ubuntu or Linux Mint, which are easy ~
>:( WHAT?! That's, like, COMMAND TERMINAL STUFF! Too hard!
????????? Then I'll take you to the Ubuntu site ~
>:(>:( BITCH I DON'T WANT DOS PROMPTS
>:D Well then! I guess you ARE happy on your Windows POS which came about as a result of your user stupidity!
>:( WHAT?! MSFT caused this problem!
:moogy: Tell me, then, what did you normally do on this system?
:blush: Um...I downloaded 450 screensavers, got myself 40 toolbars for IE, and torrented 2000-ish movies, games, and even a little bit of ani ~
:yumemi: Eh...that explains it. That is all. :smug: :dealwithit:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Udongein on April 29, 2011, 01:11:32 AM
This thread reminds me so much of this website (http://notalwaysright.com) so much.

I'd hate to work in Tech Support, though. How are you guys still sane? :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Thata no Guykoro on April 29, 2011, 02:09:07 AM
Personally it reminds me of this site (http://rinkworks.com/stupid) as well. :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Drake on April 29, 2011, 03:06:23 AM
goddamn it remind me to never click that link again i just spent like an hour there
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Yakitori on April 29, 2011, 03:13:34 AM
goddamn it remind me to never click that link again i just spent like an hour there

I know right? It might even be worse than going through the whole Engrish dot com Archive. :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: InfernalExuro on April 29, 2011, 07:14:21 AM
Oh lord, the fake antivirus things. I don't know how long I've spent cleaning those damn things off my little brother's laptop. And to think my old man was about to put his credit card information into the prompt the first time he mentioned something about it to me...
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: helvetica on April 29, 2011, 05:37:56 PM
LOL so this guy has been emailing me all week when can I help him with his machine.  I tell him every single time just call me when he's ready and gave him my office hours, I do not know my day-to-day schedule so I can't just block time off.  He keeps on sending me emails wondering when I'm going to call him.  I reiterate that I work from x to y, and to call me when you're ready.

He's now sending me an appointment invite, my attendance REQUIRED, saying the following:

Quote
Guys,

I've been in my home office all week, and I have not been able to work with IT to get my new ThinkPad up and running.

I'm out of the office all next week....so, it's either Friday or wait another week or longer.  I'm fine with using my old computer...so I really don't have an issue with this.

If <me> cannot make this meeting, then please find someone that can help.

Thanks,
<moron>

Dude... what part of CALL ME DON'T YOU GET.  I do not have a set schedule, I merely handle calls as they come to me.  I talk to 40-50 different people a day.  I cannot drop everything and call you, I don't know if I'm going to be on call or if I'll have something else I'm doing.  The easiest, and by far the fastest, way to get this all handled is to simply call me.  Either I'm on a call, I get your number and call you back right after, or I'm not on a call and I stop what I'm doing now and help you.  I cannot just block x hours out of my day and play phone tag and call you.  Hell I probably wouldn't even remember to, let alone be able to.

I love how he's implying that I'm ignoring him.  No dumbshit, I've told you from the start TO CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE READY.  You don't call me, I don't help you.  Simple as that.  Jesus Christ people do not listen.  I am the ONLY person here who handles support calls, noone else.  There isn't anyone else to help and I don't have the time or the patience to try to block out x time in my schedule to drop everything and call someone.

Fuck, I don't even know if I'm going to get a lunch break, let alone when.  I can't just block out 2 hours and make a promise to call him when I know I can't keep it.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 30, 2011, 12:09:08 AM
Holy moly....

Just checked it. It's currently at 35475. A couple more are being added as I type.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 30, 2011, 12:11:39 AM
Just checked it. It's currently at 35475. A couple more are being added as I type.
What is this I don't even ~ ...are those systems running Win95 or something along the sort as well? Because then we'd have nothing but dedicated solitaire machines....

They better be playing Vegas style at least :colonveeplusalpha:
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 30, 2011, 12:16:43 AM
What's Vegas style? I am not a solitairologist.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 30, 2011, 12:27:41 AM
What's Vegas style? I am not a solitairologist.
Neither am I...it is an alternate form of scoring. More (or too many) details here (http://www.chessandpoker.com/vegas-solitaire-game.html).

Also after reading up on Windows' Solitaire history that record had to be on Vista or 7, since those versions allow for statistics tracking. In which case...even more shock...35K+ games since 2007 at earliest?! :o

Time to move them over to FreeCell ~ oh wait, then they'll try to solve all one million and four combinations even though some of them are impossible....
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Thata no Guykoro on April 30, 2011, 12:33:27 AM
Neither am I...it is an alternate form of scoring. More (or too many) details here (http://www.chessandpoker.com/vegas-solitaire-game.html).

Also after reading up on Windows' Solitaire history that record had to be on Vista or 7, since those versions allow for statistics tracking. In which case...even more shock...35K+ games since 2007 at earliest?! :o

Time to move them over to FreeCell ~ oh wait, then they'll try to solve all one million and four combinations even though some of them are impossible....
Actually I'm pretty sure it's been proven that all but one of them are possible. Not counting games -1 and -2. :V
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 30, 2011, 12:37:53 AM
Actually I'm pretty sure it's been proven that all but one of them are possible. Not counting games -1 and -2. :V
That is, among the original 32,000. It was expanded to 1 million in XP or 2000, adding a handful more impossible ones.

The Vista and 7 versions added -3 and -4, which are unloseable games.

All these tech support idiocy scenarios remind me of this (http://www.techrepublic.com/photos/computer-bloopers-and-blunders-from-the-technically-clueless/198663).
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 30, 2011, 12:39:27 AM
Neither am I...it is an alternate form of scoring. More (or too many) details here (http://www.chessandpoker.com/vegas-solitaire-game.html).

Also after reading up on Windows' Solitaire history that record had to be on Vista or 7, since those versions allow for statistics tracking. In which case...even more shock...35K+ games since 2007 at earliest?! :o

Time to move them over to FreeCell ~ oh wait, then they'll try to solve all one million and four combinations even though some of them are impossible....

It's Vista. And I'm pretty sure it's vanilla style, no reshuffles.  And, I want to think they got that laptop in '08.

I've threatened to addict Grandma to tetris, but they're both so resistant to learning anything computer based that I doubt I could interest them.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: E-Nazrin on April 30, 2011, 02:44:57 AM
It's Vista. And I'm pretty sure it's vanilla style, no reshuffles.  And, I want to think they got that laptop in '08.

I've threatened to addict Grandma to tetris, but they're both so resistant to learning anything computer based that I doubt I could interest them.

Just leave a copy on the desktop and see if they bite.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 30, 2011, 03:08:19 AM
Just leave a copy on the desktop and see if they bite.
While you're at that, put it as a shortcut, put the Solitaire icon on it, and rename it "Solitaire" if you really want a prank :3
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Drake on April 30, 2011, 05:40:05 AM
One time I noticed one of my family members was searching Recent Documents and such very thoroughly, so I set up a folder on the desktop labeled PORN, hid it, enabled viewing of hidden folders and stuck a bunch of huge files that just said "I TRUST YOU TOO"
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Iryan on April 30, 2011, 08:45:03 AM
One time I noticed one of my family members was searching Recent Documents and such very thoroughly, so I set up a folder on the desktop labeled PORN, hid it, enabled viewing of hidden folders and stuck a bunch of huge files that just said "I TRUST YOU TOO"
I knew of the practice of making a folder labeled PRAWN, make it available via network on a LAN party, and putting in several undred megs of images and videos showing prawns.

This is even petter.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Aba Matindesu! on April 30, 2011, 12:51:31 PM
I knew of the practice of making a folder labeled PRAWN, make it available via network on a LAN party, and putting in several undred megs of images and videos showing prawns.

This is even petter.

If only I could lay a trap like this on Facebook, just for my snooping aunt.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: Hello Purvis on April 30, 2011, 03:28:42 PM
Just leave a copy on the desktop and see if they bite.

They don't even bother with the other icons. I doubt they'd notice the new addition.

While you're at that, put it as a shortcut, put the Solitaire icon on it, and rename it "Solitaire" if you really want a prank :3

"Purvis, the laptop's all screwed up! Think we should buy a new one?"

Of note: This has often been the reaction they've considered to moderate problems. I've probably saved 'em a good couple thousand in not getting new computers.
Title: Re: Things not to do if you do not want to not piss me off
Post by: DX7.EP on April 30, 2011, 06:45:04 PM
"Purvis, the laptop's all screwed up! Think we should buy a new one?"

Of note: This has often been the reaction they've considered to moderate problems. I've probably saved 'em a good couple thousand in not getting new computers.
Actually, most consumers react this way when they even get light-moderate problems. Perfectly good computers that can last them 3-7 years (hell, most of the current hardware is already too powerful for most consumers)...suddenly wasted within 18 months due to how they can't use a reinstall disc!