Off the Rails 2 [COMPLETE]: Endings aren't my strong point. Writing isn't either

[marukyuu]

LaserTurtle, I don't know if this is going to give you some of your motivation back, but I'm telling you anyway. This game is loads of fun, and you're doing an incredibly good job at keeping it entertaining. Your latest update in particular made my sides hurt from laughing :V

I'll edit this post later with my usual wall of commands :V

Rika
> Perform the usual routine system checks on Evil Eye Sigma 2.0
> Scan the base for invisible or cloaked guests. Recruit them if successful.
> Go wherever Yuuka is! Let Komachi lead the way.
> Prod Komachi periodically to keep her awake.
> Talk to Alice. Prove to her that magic and technology are basically the same thing. Refer to Komachi as a meatshield.
> Be on the lookout for poison clouds. If there are any, enter one of them in order to test Evil Eye Sigma 2.0's environmental shielding.
> If there are poison clouds: watch Alice's reactions and tease her.
> Find Yuuka and approach her! Peacefully, if possible.
> If under attack, check out how good Komachi is as a meatshield.
> Talk to Yuuka about the incident, the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> As a joke, tell Yuuka that the incident at hand is Alice's fault.
> Let Yuuka join the party, for old times' sake! Now we can go destroy anything and everything, especially the annoying red-white Shrine Maiden!
> If Yuuka is recruited, brag about it with Satori and Mokou on the phone. Watch everyone's reactions.
> Wait, where should we go now? Ask Yuuka, then go wherever she says!

Huziwara no Mokou
> Demonstrate your ability to resurrect in order to impress Koishi and irritate Sanae.
> Wonder around until we get lost, then find Mayohiga.
> Koishi should be of help for that... she's too unreliable, though. We need to make her do what we want one way or another.
> Here's an idea! "Koishi, could you make ourselves lost so we can all go on a great exciting adventure together? It'll be fun, I promise!"
> Get to Mayohiga. Enter it and look for catgirls. We should find Chen here, if our memory serves us right.
> If Chen isn't there, go wherever Koishi wants unless it's underground, then ignore the following commands.
> Prevent Sanae from exterminating Chen.
> Prevent Koishi from glomping and petting Chen.
> Ask Chen for an audience with Yukari (or Ran if the old hag is asleep). Make liberal use of fire if negotiations are unsuccessful.
> Let Chen play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku as a last resort.
> On second thought, let her play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku even if we get our audience with the higher-ups.
> Discuss the incident at hand, the Coin-Flipping incident and the related grimoire with the Yakumos.
> Give Sanae a taste of our fire if she gets restless. Seriously, she should stay put, stick with us and let the Shrine Maiden handle youkai extermination.
> Facepalm. She's a shrine maiden, too. Dangit.

Satorin~
> Notice that we're back to our loli self. Be disappointed.
> Delve into the cave!
> Since she can detect misfortune, let Hina lead the way.
> Read all the signs we find. Smirk at each of them.
> It is pitch dark. We are likely to be eaten by Rumia.
> Well, that isn't our problem. Utsuho is a convenient light source.
> As for Rumia, we can deal with her just fine. Greet her if we bump into her (or SHE bumps into US) then keep going: we have no time to lose.
> As a challenge, think of out-of-the-ordinary ways to avoid or destroy any deathtraps in the way.
> Watch as Utsuho blasts through them. That works, too...
> Inventory check. Have we got something to stop Utsuho nagging us for eggs?
> Gracefully accept Hina's sympathy.

> If Chiri is in sight, approach and engage her. Be diplomatic.
> Read her memories in order to make a Recollection spell.
> Ask Chiri about the incident, coin-flipping and that weird grimoire.
> Watch Chiri's display of great misfortune.
> Watch Hina collect huge amounts of misfortune.
> Remind Utsuho that misfortune is not made of eggs.

[capt. h]

> Don't worry, after a while it becomes a compulsion. ... ;_;
Yep, this quest is fun, and I hope you find your motivation soon. I'd look behind the couch.

> Rika - Realize you should really leave your home more often.

> Just listen to whatever Komachi and Sanae suggest.
> Realize Sanae's suggestion doesn't make any sense and seriously consider Komachi's suggestion of letting someone else handle it, if appropriate.
> Recall reason for being involved in incident.
> Check Sigma 2's status.
> Check out optical camoflauge tank you forgot you invented.

> Mokou - Continue working out teamwork issues with healthy displays of extreme aggression.
> Think of it as a teambuilding exercise.

> Satori - Recall how you found yourself in front of cave. Weren't we just in a library?
> Didn't that Remilia person turn Chiri into her maid or something? Let's ask Remilia.
> If succeed in finding Remilia, "accidentally" cause her to lose her perfect composure.

[LaserTurtle]

Hooray! Happy new year's eve everyone!
I hope you're not superstitious, or 2013's going to be one heck of a bad year!

> Just listen to whatever Komachi and Sanae suggest.
> Realize Sanae's suggestion doesn't make any sense and seriously consider Komachi's suggestion of letting someone else handle it, if appropriate.

>The Command Chibi-Parsee checks the paperwork again. Nope. Rika is not with Sanae.
>These commands need to be corrected!
Satori

> Satori - Recall how you found yourself in front of cave. Weren't we just in a library?

>Well, yes you were. You left the Scarlet Devil Mansion to search for Chiri.
>And the best way to search for Chiri is to wander around the nondescript lands of Gensokyo.

> Didn't that Remilia person turn Chiri into her maid or something? Let's ask Remilia.
> If succeed in finding Remilia, "accidentally" cause her to lose her perfect composure.

>You roll a 10. Nope. You do not find Remilia. But it's still a half success so...
>You manage to call Remilia using your cell phone. She doesn't answer (not surprising. You don't think she has a cell phone), but you leave a message.
>"Hey, Remilia? It's Satori. What do you know about Chiri? You know, that youkai of quantum geography? I seem to remember you made her a maid for a while."

> Notice that we're back to our loli self. Be disappointed.

>You roll a 3. Failure!
>You don't notice at all that you have returned to your normal not-grown-up self.
>Shame it wasn't a critical failure, though. Then you would have not noticed it so badly that it wouldn't have happened.

> Delve into the cave!
> Since she can detect misfortune, let Hina lead the way.

>You enter the cave. It's not exactly pitch black. You're starting to wish you wandered the caves more often.
>Living in a giant well-lit palace doesn't help your night vision. You're not sure you can make out anything in this darkness.
>You decide with a roll of 16 to let Hina lead the way. A trail of misfortune should guide you to Chiri.
>Hina leads the way, but it ends up being way too dark to see.

> Read all the signs we find. Smirk at each of them.
> It is pitch dark. We are likely to be eaten by Rumia.

>You roll a 2. You can't read any signs in this darkness!
_{Is that so~?}

> Well, that isn't our problem. Utsuho is a convenient light source.
> As for Rumia, we can deal with her just fine. Greet her if we bump into her (or SHE bumps into US) then keep going: we have no time to lose.

>"Utsuho, can you light the place up for us?"
>"Sure thing, Satori!" I get to be useful! Yay!
>Utsuho creates a miniature star. Convenient.
>The inside of the cave is not light enough for you to see.
>Just to be sure, you do a thought-headcount to make sure your entire party is there.
Useful~ useful~ Okuu is useful! Yay! Do I get eggs?
Still, where is Chiri? I can't see her anywhere... her misfortune trail still goes on.
Hah! These unwary travelers can't see me in the darkness, because I can't see me, and if I can't see me, they can't either!
>"Hello, Rumia," you greet the ball of darkness.

> As a challenge, think of out-of-the-ordinary ways to avoid or destroy any deathtraps in the way.
> Watch as Utsuho blasts through them. That works, too...

>You roll a 12. For the deathtraps ahead, you have the start of a plan to make them all disable or set off each other...
>"Ooh! More deathtraps!" Utsuho notices. "Incinerate~!" Lasers!
>Well that works too.
>You can't help but feel that Chiri would throw a fit if she saw Utsuho brute-forcing her way through the traps again.

> Inventory check. Have we got something to stop Utsuho nagging us for eggs?
> Gracefully accept Hina's sympathy.

>You have no inventory! Who do you think you are? Some sort of maid with a time shenanigan maid storage?
>In your pocket, though, you have a boiled egg, but that's only for use in emergencies.
>You roll a 2 and reject Hina's sympathy completely. She'll give no sympathy to you!
>Hina shrugs. "Well, if you're okay with it..." Sheesh, try and be nice...
>Chiri is still nowhere in sight, but the cave now splits into three paths and a service elevator.
Rika

> Rika - Realize you should really leave your home more often.

>You roll a 5 and realize that you miss all the exciting stuff by staying shut in your home.

> Just listen to whatever Komachi and SanaeAlice suggest.
> Realize SanaeAlice's suggestion doesn't make any sense and seriously consider Komachi's suggestion of letting someone else handle it, if appropriate.

>You roll a 6 and listen to Komachi and Alice's take on things.
>"Well," Komachi yawns, "We could always let someone else fix this."
>"No!" Alice announces. "We must conquer Gensokyo! With my army and your tanks we shall be unbeatable!"
>You roll a 6 to realize Alice's suggestion makes no sense.
>How would that help solve the incident, anyway?

> Recall reason for being involved in incident.

>Rolled a 3. Huh? Why were you involved again?
>Ah well. You'll remember it sooner or later.

> Check Sigma 2's status.

> Perform the usual routine system checks on Evil Eye Sigma 2.0

>You roll a 3. Everything seems to be in order. It's still slightly damaged from the test run, but nothing a few spare parts couldn't fix!

> Check out optical camoflauge tank you forgot you invented.

>Ah yes. The optical camouflage tank, your magnum opus. Or something.
>You know, you never actually built anything remotely close to this.
>Well except for that one time, but that tank exploded, so it doesn't count!

> Scan the base for invisible or cloaked guests. Recruit them if successful.

>Truly this must be the work of someone who is skilled at cloaking devices!
>Such a person might even be in this room right now!
>This requires a scan of the room! You roll a 5 and find a hidden kappa in a corner.
>"Hello! Do you like the tank?" Nitori grins.
Nitori Kawashiro has joined your party!

> Go wherever Yuuka is! Let Komachi lead the way.
> Prod Komachi periodically to keep her awake.
> Talk to Alice. Prove to her that magic and technology are basically the same thing. Refer to Komachi as a meatshield.

>You roll a 2. You refuse to let Komachi lead the way to Yuuka, even though she knows where to go! You'll find that youkai yourself! To  Evil Eye Sigma 2.0!
>You roll a 5 and set up an auto-poking system to keep the shinigami awake.
>Komachi doesn't like this. You can't imagine why.
>You prove to Alice that magic and science are the same with the help of a roll of 1.
>"You see, Alice, magic and science are basically the same, because science is the rational system of methodical testing. Magic works by stupid magic stuff. The end result is that stuff goes boom. Exactly the same, see?"
>Alice is not convinced. Strange.
>Shame you couldn't work the Komachi-meatshield angle in your argument. Maybe some other time.
>Well, you rolled a 6, in regards to finding Yuuka at least.
>Why are you in some giant sunflower field?

> Be on the lookout for poison clouds. If there are any, enter one of them in order to test Evil Eye Sigma 2.0's environmental shielding.
> If there are poison clouds: watch Alice's reactions and tease her.

>You roll a 5. There are no poison clouds. The field is clear of toxins!
>Your super advanced scanning software has detected no poisonous clouds with 100% accuracy.
>"And there are no poison clouds in sight. That's an easy way to tell," Alice points out. Spoilsport.

> Find Yuuka and approach her! Peacefully, if possible.
> If under attack, check out how good Komachi is as a meatshield.

>There she is!
>Well she has green hair at any rate.
>Time to put your peaceful approach skills to the test! You roll a 3.
>"Hey! Yuuka! You're behind the incident, so own up!"
>She glares at you. "Oh? You're that other scientist, aren't you? The tank girl? Are you by yourself?"
>"Not in the slightest!" You gesture to where your companions used... to... be...
>Komachi is standing far away. How'd she get there so fast?
>Nitori is invisible. Sneaky kappa...
>Alice is gone and replaced with a completely innocent pile of dolls. Or she could be under them. You can't tell.
>"...Well anyway! My point still stands!"

> Talk to Yuuka about the incident, the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> As a joke, tell Yuuka that the incident at hand is Alice's fault.

>"Well, I can't fess up to something if I don't know what I'm owning up to!" Yuuka laughs. "So, explain!"
>You deliver a stunning, rolled-a-6 explanation. Yuuka nods periodically throughout it.
>"...and the whole thing is Alice's fault," you finish with a flourish. "Even putting hats on stone statues."
>"Whoa! Stop right there!" Alice bursts out from her pile of dolls. "It's not my fault in the slightest! Why does everyone think I put hats on stone statues anyway?"

> Let Yuuka join the party, for old times' sake! Now we can go destroy anything and everything, especially the annoying red-white Shrine Maiden!
> If Yuuka is recruited, brag about it with Satori and Mokou on the phone. Watch everyone's reactions.
> Wait, where should we go now? Ask Yuuka, then go wherever she says!

>"Well, this is certainly an interesting group," Yuuka smiles. "Perhaps I shall tag along."
Yuuka Kazami has joined your party!
>Man, you are on a roll! Wait until Satori and Mokou see all the party members you have!
>In fact, you'll call them right now!
>You roll a 2. Neither of them answer.
>"So, where are we going next?" you ask.
>"I thought you would know," Yuuka points out mildly.
>"Well, you were sort of my only lead so..."
>Yuuka sighs. "I was expecting that you would have some idea. You better pick some place soon."
Mokou

> Mokou - Continue working out teamwork issues with healthy displays of extreme aggression.
> Think of it as a teambuilding exercise.

>You roll a 2. Your aggression seems to have died out, but you can't stop now!
>This teambuilding exercise is one unmatched by anyone! Not even the crazy moon people have teambuilding exercises as cool as this!

> Demonstrate your ability to resurrect in order to impress Koishi and irritate Sanae.

>You roll a 1. No matter how hard you try to run into bullets to show off your immortality, you can't!
>On the plus side, you're impressing everyone with your dodging.
>All the spellcards have timed out. Rin claps appreciatively.

> Wonder around until we get lost, then find Mayohiga.
> Koishi should be of help for that... she's too unreliable, though. We need to make her do what we want one way or another.
> Here's an idea! "Koishi, could you make ourselves lost so we can all go on a great exciting adventure together? It'll be fun, I promise!"

>You can't get lost on command! You'll need a Koishi to do that, and she doesn't seem willing...
>But with the right spin on things...
>You roll a 6! "Koishi. Our mission is to get so lost that we find Mayohiga. Can you manage, sergeant?"
>"Roger that, Snake. Operation Cardboard Gear Solid is go."
>She grabs the sukusuku hakutaku and hops into Rin's wheelbarrow. "I shall lead the way! Follow the cat with the wheelbarrow!"
>Sanae pulls you aside. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
>"None at all!" you reply. "I won't let that stop us, though! After that cat!"
>You fly off after Rin, cackling madly.
>You hear Sanae behind you. "Hey! Wait up!"

> Get to Mayohiga. Enter it and look for catgirls. We should find Chen here, if our memory serves us right.

TIMESKIP!>You think you might have accidentally gone through the Hakurei Barrier.
>Ah well. You'll find the way back some way or another.
TIMESKIP! Again.>And you are finally at Mayohiga! Go idiotic subconscious tactics!
>You roll a 3 and find a catgirl.
>Wait no. That's Rin.
>"Looking for someone?" a voice from behind you purrs.

> Prevent Sanae from exterminating Chen.
> Prevent Koishi from glomping and petting Chen.

>Sanae notices Chen. "Youkai! I shall exterminate!"
>Thankfully for everyone involved, you roll a 5. You grab Sanae before she pulls out a spellcard.
>"No. Keep your shrine-maidenly instincts at bay. This cat is a valuable source of information!"
>The cat in question is shrieking. "Get her off! She's licking me!"
>Whoops. You pull Koishi off of Chen with some effort.
>Well, better late than never.

> Ask Chen for an audience with Yukari (or Ran if the old hag is asleep). Make liberal use of fire if negotiations are unsuccessful.
> Let Chen play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku as a last resort.
> On second thought, let her play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku even if we get our audience with the higher-ups.

>"...So, we need to see Yukari," you explain to Chen. "Is she available?"
>Chen frowns. "But she's sleeping! Ran said not to bother Yukari if she's asleep!"
>"Well, what about Ran?"
>"I dunno..."
>Time to resort to desperate tactics. "I'll let you get a ride in Rin's wheelbarrow..."
>Chen frowns. "But..."
>"And play with the sukusuku hakutaku!" You pull out the sukusuku hakutaku from Rin's wheelbarrow.
>"Um..." Chen is wavering! You move in for the kill.
>"And I won't set you on fire if you do!"
>Chen is rather agreeable if you bargain with her.
>"Ran! Some fire lady wants to see you!" Chen calls. "It's about all this dice rolling that's going on!"
>She snatches the sukusuku hakutaku out of your hands and hugs it.

> Discuss the incident at hand, the Coin-Flipping incident and the related grimoire with the Yakumos.
> Give Sanae a taste of our fire if she gets restless. Seriously, she should stay put, stick with us and let the Shrine Maiden handle youkai extermination.
> Facepalm. She's a shrine maiden, too. Dangit.

>"I see..." Ran muses after you explain things to her. "I don't believe Yukari is behind this. She sleeps through most of the winter, after all."
>A gap opens behind Ran. "Ran! Are you trying to resolve Gensokyo's affairs without consulting your master?"
>Ran is flustered by Yukari's appearance. "I-I thought you would be sleeping!"
>Sanae is getting fidgety with all these youkai around. "C'mon!" she whines. "Can't I at least exterminate one?"
>You answer her question by setting her clothes on fire. "No. Leave the extermination to the shrine maidens."
>"But I am a shrine maiden!" Sanae wails. She's rolling on the ground and muttering to herself. "_{stop, drop, and roll. stop, drop, and roll. stop, drop, and roll...}"
>Whoops. You put the fire out.
>Man, incident solving is harder than it seems. How does Reimu make it look so easy?

[capt. h]

> Mokou - "Fine, But you only get to exterminate one of them *cough-Koishi-cough*."
> Wonder if it would really be so wrong to abandon both teammates and attempt to resolve quest on own.

> Satori - Follow that misfotune Hina is following!
> Trick Rumia into blinding herself too much to bother you.

> Rika - Wait, why do both Mokou and Satori have no reception?
> Well... we already checked with the sunflowers and the goddesses, so lets go beat up some Taoists next! Or Buddhists, whichever is closer.
> Actually, just do it like Reimu does and beat up all the things until the incident is resolved.

[GuyYouMetOnline]

>Rika: Find a bunch of chibi-Rikas and have them build a new tank.

[marukyuu]

Rika [REDACTED], Ph.D.
> Why was Alice more concerned about putting hats on stone statues than the incident?
> Well, that's not our problem! We get to wreak havoc with our tank and nothing's gonna stop us!
> Assess the whole party's combined firepower. Consider Evil Eye Sigma 2.0 as a member of the party.
> To the Hakurei Shrine!
> Force Komachi to stay in the front line and tank the damage. No pun intended.
> Have one of Alice's dolls poke Komachi periodically to keep her awake. Just in case, you know. :V
> Ask Yuuka to act as a magic nuke.
> Ask Alice if it's appropriate to grind a couple of levels before reaching the shrine.
> Have Nitori cloak the whole party.
> Have Alice send a couple of cloaked dolls to scout the soon-to-be battlefield.
> Have Alice deploy an offensive doll formation.
> Make the red-white pay for what she did to the Flower Tank and Evil Eye Sigma! Charge towards the shrine at full speed and engage in a fair 5v1 danmaku battle!
> If victorious: brag about it with Mokou and Satori on the phone.
> Sit down with the red-white, have a tea, and discuss the incident and everything related to it.
> Call Mokou and Satori (again) in order to share information.
> Make Komachi shoot a couple of coins into Reimu's offertory box.
Then do this, whatever the outcome:

> Well... we already checked with the sunflowers and the goddesses, so lets go beat up some Taoists next! Or Buddhists, whichever is closer.
> Actually, just do it like Reimu does and beat up all the things until the incident is resolved.

Mokou of the Fujiwara Clan
> Yeah, how does Reimu make things look so easy? That's right! She beats up anything that moves!
> Do so with Koishi. Sanae will be glad to help!
> After our team-building exercise, ask Yukari to gap the party to the Myouren Temple.
> "Stop it, Sanae. Youkai are sources of information, for the time being. When extermination time comes, I'll let you know."
> Prevent Koishi's displays of affection towards the cute yamabiko sweeping outside the temple.
> Who's that yamabiko, anyway? Have we seen her before?
> Watch out for huge pink fists. Make sure Koishi is at the receiving end.
> Let Orin pick up corpses and recruit fairies.
> Do not be fooled by the second Orin with a raccoon tail.
> Think about recruiting the other Sukusuku Hakutaku with a raccoon tail the tanuki.
> Enter the temple and seek an audience with Byakuren.
> Talk about religious stuff with Sanae and Byakuren.
> Talk about the incident and whatever is related to it with the temple residents.
> Pool everyone's ideas about what to do next. Except Koishi's, of course.
> Maybe we've been a bit too harsh with Koishi. Let her play with the shapeshifters and Orin's zombie fairies for a little while.

Yukari
> Fool around again


Lady Satori Komeiji
> Recruit Rumia. Giggle at the thought of a battle of wits between her and Utsuho.
> Ask Utsuho to light up the three hallways. Take a look at the deathtraps in each of them.
> Take the service elevator anyway,
> Keep following the trail of misfortune with Hina's help.
> Read Rumia's mind as Utsuho demolishes all the deathtraps between Chiri and the party.
> Wait... where is Chiri? Try and detect her thoughts.
... and then again:

> If Chiri is in sight, approach and engage her. Be diplomatic.
> Read her memories in order to make a Recollection spell.
> Ask Chiri about the incident, coin-flipping and that weird grimoire.
> Watch Chiri's display of great misfortune.
> Watch Hina collect huge amounts of misfortune.
> Remind Utsuho that misfortune is not made of eggs.

[LaserTurtle]

Yukari
> Fool around again

>Yukari is too sleepy to fool around again. Besides, one person/youkai/whatever is already fooling around; there's no need to complicate things!
>The Chibi Parsee dutifully places this command in the incinerator pile.
Rika

>Rika: Find a bunch of chibi-Rikas and have them build a new tank.

>You roll a 3. There are no Chibi Rikas in sight. When you get into your tank, however, you find a Chibi Rika sitting in your seat.
>Partial victory? You stuff the miniature version of you into your TSMS for now.

> Rika - Wait, why do both Mokou and Satori have no reception?

>As you realize this, you attempt to take a guess why.
>You roll a 1. You think Mokou might be eaten by a giant frog. Satori might be unconscious.
>Really, you have no idea.

> Well... we already checked with the sunflowers and the goddesses, so lets go beat up some Taoists next! Or Buddhists, whichever is closer.
> Actually, just do it like Reimu does and beat up all the things until the incident is resolved.

>You will have to face off with that shrine maiden again some day or another, so you must emulate her tactics to later use them against her!
>Or something like that. You just want to get going before Yuuka decides to harm everyone just because.

> Why was Alice more concerned about putting hats on stone statues than the incident?
> Well, that's not our problem! We get to wreak havoc with our tank and nothing's gonna stop us!

>There are all these loose ends floating around in your mind! Truly troublesome, but you still have a tank.
>And at the end of the day, all that matters is how many things you got to destroy with your tank.
>And with that in mind...

> Assess the whole party's combined firepower. Consider Evil Eye Sigma 2.0 as a member of the party.
> To the Hakurei Shrine!

>Your rough estimate puts your party as just enough to take out a shrine maiden if she doesn't cheat.
>Only the best fighters get bestowed the title of shrine maiden, after all.
>Or, at least, that's what you think.
>Your religion studies were not comprehensive at all, in hindsight.
>But enough idle thoughts! To the Hakurei Shrine!
>...the 2 you rolled is not helping.
TIMESKIP!>DANGIT HOW IS A SHRINE SO HARD TO FIND?
>You think you've been going around in circles, and the terrain is not helping.
>Why is everything made out of giant cubes? Where the heck are you?
>Yes. You have decided that you are hopelessly lost. This requires a meeting of all your personnel.
>You open the tank hatch to make an announcement. "Guys? We're lost."
>Alice sighs. "We've been lost. Where have we been trying to go, anyway?"
>Komachi yawns. "These blocks are troublesome. Can't find a comfy place to rest."
>Yuuka growls. "You have the navigational skills of a blindfolded turtle."
>Nitori shrugs. "Well, the quantum geography isn't letting up."
>"Well, I was going to the Hakurei Shrine, but I seem to have lost my way," you explain.
>Yuuka snorts. "That much is obvious."
>Komachi brightens up. "That's where you wanted to go? Why didn't you say so? I can get us all there in an instant!"
>She then proceeds to hook Alice, Nitori, and Yuuka with her scythe and put her other hand on your tank as she steps forward...
>...you feel like the fabric of space-time is crying...
>...and you all are in front of the Hakurei Shrine. Convenient.

> Ask Alice if it's appropriate to grind a couple of levels before reaching the shrine.

>Alice frowns as you explain the concept of level grinding to her. "We're already at the shrine. I'm sure that our combined might will be enough to handle anything coming our way."

> Force Komachi to stay in the front line and tank the damage. No pun intended.
> Have one of Alice's dolls poke Komachi periodically to keep her awake. Just in case, you know. :V

>"Why me?" Komachi complains. "Just because I've got the power to control distances, you want me to lead the assault?"
>She swats the doll assigned to poke her. "And I don't sleep that often!"
>"Hush! We have to commence our assault with the greatest of sneakiness!" you command her.

> Ask Yuuka to act as a magic nuke.

>"Magic...nuke? Strange. What would I do?"
>"Basically we threaten to use you if we don't get our way, but we won't actually use you because you're too destructive."
>"Now that's a bit silly, don't you think?"
>You ignore Yuuka's commentary and move on to the next member of your strike force.

> Have Nitori cloak the whole party.
> Have Alice send a couple of cloaked dolls to scout the soon-to-be battlefield.
> Have Alice deploy an offensive doll formation.

>Nitori grins. "Optical camouflage is already deployed, ma'am! Kappa technology at its finest!"
>You not. "Good, good. Alice, send out a couple of dolls to scout around. Get the rest of them in an offensive attack position."
>"I can't believe I'm cooperating," Alice sighs. She sends a few scouts out.
>After the brief scouting mission, Alice gives you her report. "The grounds are clear. Nobody is in plain sight."
>"How am I supposed to work with that?" you complain. "Fine. We'll have to make this a sneak attack."
>"And how are you going to do that?" someone asks.
>"Simple," you reply. "We're cloaked. The shrine maiden will never see it coming."
>You turn to address the speaker, a little girl with giant horns and a big drinking gourd.
>Huh?
>"Whatever," you mutter. "Horned girl, you just help with the attack, since you're here."

> Make the red-white pay for what she did to the Flower Tank and Evil Eye Sigma! Charge towards the shrine at full speed and engage in a fair 5v1 danmaku battle!

>You attempt to do so. Sneakily.
>The roll of 2 isn't helping in the slightest.
>Well, you've charged at the shrine at any rate.
>Key word being "at." You run into an invisible barrier.
>"Bad news, boss," Nitori reports, "That barrier shorted out the optical camouflage!"
>The horned girl yawns. "Yeah, Reimu declared her spellcard while you guys were planning. If I were you, I'd start dodging. Quickly."
>She vanishes into a purple mist that floats into the shrine as Reimu walks out.
>Well.
>This is bad.
TIMESKIP!>That could not be considered a win for your team in any way, shape, or form.

> Sit down with the red-white, have a tea, and discuss the incident and everything related to it.
> Call Mokou and Satori (again) in order to share information.
> Make Komachi shoot a couple of coins into Reimu's offertory box.

>You sip your tea. "So, do you have anything on the incident, Reimu?"
>"None at all. It's not those guys at Eientei, or the Moriya Shrine. That's all I have."
>Yuuka grumbles. "Stupid barriers...if I wasn't weakened by all those sealing charms..."
>You don't think that this information is anything worth reporting, but you might as well.
>You roll a 1. Someone answers your call.
>"Koishi Komeiji, Satori Corporation customer service. We read your mind so you don't have to! How may I help you?"
>Well that isn't the right number at all.
>You try again.
>"DANGIT MOKOU DON'T CALL ME - oh wait, who is this? We're not buying any of your salads, in case you're a telemarketer."
>Gee, you are having terrible luck with rolls.
>Komachi sighs. "Currency of the dead. The Yama would throw a fit if I donated it to anyone. 'sides, it's got no monetary value."
>Reimu nods. "Believe me, I've tried."
>Well, it was worth a shot.
>Unless there's another thing to do here, you should get going. Investigationing waits for no man, woman, or person/youkai/whatever of a potential third gender!
Mokou

> Yeah, how does Reimu make things look so easy? That's right! She beats up anything that moves!
> Do so with Koishi. Sanae will be glad to help!

> Mokou - "Fine, But you only get to exterminate one of them *cough-Koishi-cough*."

>Really, it's unfair. Reimu makes everything look so easy!
>Then again, Reimu cheats.
>Out of experimental curiosity, you attack the nearest youkai, like Reimu does.
>You roll a 5 and attack Koishi. Sanae joins in with glee.
>Strangely, in the middle of the fight, Koishi asks for a ceasefire.
>"Time out! Hold on, I gotta answer this call..." She answers the cellphone.
>"Koishi Komeiji, Satori Corporation customer service. We read your mind so you don't have to! How may I help you?"
>She waits, then stares at the phone. "Strange. They hung up. All right, we can start fighting again."

> Wonder if it would really be so wrong to abandon both teammates and attempt to resolve quest on own.

>You roll a 3 and wonder with moderate success.
>The only reason you come up with is that Sanae and Koishi running around without a supervisor would be one of those Very Bad Ideas that Keine mentions.
>"I'm here too," Rin mutters.

> After our team-building exercise, ask Yukari to gap the party to the Myouren Temple.
> "Stop it, Sanae. Youkai are sources of information, for the time being. When extermination time comes, I'll let you know."

>Sanae stops poking Chen. "You mean like how I was allowed to attack Koishi? Yay!"
>Yukari stares at you. "Well, at least you didn't destroy the house," she mumbles. She waves a hand and drops you unceremoniously in front of that new Buddhist Temple.

> Prevent Koishi's displays of affection towards the cute yamabiko sweeping outside the temple.

>You prevent her successfully.
>Wait, dangit.
>"HELP!" the yamabiko yells. "SHE'S LICKING ME!"

> Who's that yamabiko, anyway? Have we seen her before?
> Watch out for huge pink fists. Make sure Koishi is at the receiving end.

>You have no idea who the yamabiko is. Then again, you don't leave the bamboo forest much.
>Koishi implants the strangest ideas. Why would you worry about giant pink fists -
>Oh. There's one.
>You roll a 1, dodging out of its way so amazingly that you dodge right into the other fist.
>Giant pink fists hurt.

> Let Orin pick up corpses and recruit fairies.
> Do not be fooled by the second Orin with a raccoon tail.

>Rin frowns. "It's nice that you're letting me do that, but there aren't any corpses or fairies."
>You ignore her. Both hers.
>Wait.
>Your roll of 6 reminds you that cats do not, in fact, have raccoon tails.

> Think about recruiting the other Sukusuku Hakutaku with a raccoon tail the tanuki.
> Enter the temple and seek an audience with Byakuren.

>You think about it too long. The tanuki has taken its chance and left.
>You decide to enter the temple.
>You roll a 5. Flawless entry!

> Talk about religious stuff with Sanae and Byakuren.
> Talk about the incident and whatever is related to it with the temple residents.

>You roll a 4 and proceed to discuss the current incident with Byakuren.
>"Hmm... well it hasn't affected our lives too much... I mean, as long as we don't roll a series of 1's again, we won't end up burning half the village down."
>Figures. Passive Buddhists.

> Pool everyone's ideas about what to do next. Except Koishi's, of course.
> Maybe we've been a bit too harsh with Koishi. Let her play with the shapeshifters and Orin's zombie fairies for a little while.

>"So," you announce, "where's our next destination?"
>"Somewhere with corpses!"
>"Wherever my shrine-maidenly intuition leads us!"
>"Back underground!"
>Maybe you have been a little harsh on Koishi. You abruptly reach a decision. Since there are no zombie fairies or corpses around...
>"Koishi, you can go play with the tanuki, if Byakuren is okay with it."
>Byakuren smiles. "Sure! I'll send Nazrin with you. She's been itching for something to do lately."
>Your party has lost a Koishi, but gained a Nazrin!
>You aren't sure that's how bartering is supposed to work.
>Now what do you do with a dowser mouse girl?
Satori

> Satori - Follow that misfotune Hina is following!
> Trick Rumia into blinding herself too much to bother you.

>Hina is not following any trails of misfortune. After all, the only trail leads into the service elevator according to her.
>Rumia is already blinded.
>Just to make sure, you roll a 13. Rumia emerges from her ball of darkness at precisely the right moment to catch you off guard and chomp on your head.
>"Ooh, misfortune!" Hina notices. 13 is the best number!

> Recruit Rumia. Giggle at the thought of a battle of wits between her and Utsuho.
> Ask Utsuho to light up the three hallways. Take a look at the deathtraps in each of them.

>You roll an 11. You suppose her clinging onto your head counts as recruiting.
>Utsuho lights up all three hallways.
>The first one is filled with spikes. On the ceiling and floor.
>The middle one is filled with...well, nothing. It's a bottomless pit.
>The one on the right is the normal one. You feel like you should take that path.

> Take the service elevator anyway,
> Keep following the trail of misfortune with Hina's help.

>But then again, it's Chiri you're thinking about. It doesn't look like there's deathtraps in that one because she hid them.
>You decide to take the sensible option. You ring the service elevator with a roll of 13.
>The doors explode outwards. You get knocked back into the bottomless pit. Rumia is still clinging on to you.
>Utsuho screams. "Satori!" Who will make eggs if you're gone?
>She dives in after you.
>Hina sighs. "Well, it'd be boring here by myself." Might as well.
>She hops into the pit.
>Your team isn't exactly the most competent, but you never expected it to fail this badly.
THIS IS A REALLY LONG TIMESKIP!>"Scissors beats rock!" Hina announces. "I win the tournament!" Sweet victory!
>"But I almost have a royal flush!" Utsuho whines. And I even bet my eggs on it!
>"Really, Hina?" you ask with a smile. "Uno. Everyone switches hands!"
>Hina frowns. "Curses! I knew that the queen of spades would be used against me!" Why didn't I see it coming?
>House rules make for the most fun card games, even when falling down a bottomless pit.
>Really, though, you should do something about this situation. The problem with bottomless pits is that they don't end. You're going to be here for a while.
>Unless, of course, someone does something about it.

[Hanzo K.]

>Satori -  "You know, all this falling was fun, but...Everyone can just fly."

[capt. h]

> Rika - Next stop, Sanzu River and Higan. Ask Komachi about it.
> Is there any chance we can just scan areas using our technology stuff?
> If not, call Mokou and Satori so that your three parties can organize a systematic search of every spot inside (and outside) of gensokyo.

> Mokou - Ask Nazrin if she can find this Chiri-person.
> If not, might as well go to Hakugyokurou. They have corpses, right?

[marukyuu]

Satori
> Chiri will pay for this.
> Get out of the pit and take the path without deathtraps.
> Send Utsuho ahead and let her go postal on all the traps in and out of sight. We've had enough of them already.
> If we find Chiri, interrogate her.
> Make her quantum up a safe landing zone and some boiled eggs for Utsuho.
> Have Utsuho fire a huge, long lasting laser, then call Rika and Mokou and tell them to follow the beacon.
> Force Chiri to join the party. Okuu will finally have her infinite supply of eggs she always dreamed of!

Mokou
> To Hakugyokurou!
> On the way there, pester the Prismriver sisters about the incident if they're at the gates.
> Ask them to perform a relaxing BGM.
> Let Sanae blow off some steam against the Prismrivers if they are too noisy.
> Burn the Saigyou Ayakashi to get Youmu and Yuyuko's attention. Use decorative fire if possible.
> Put out the fire as soon as they are aware of it.
> Send Nazrin to search around for treasures and useful equipment.
> Pester Youmu and Yuyuko about the incident and everything related to it.
> We're kind of understaffed, so let Orin recruit fairies and corpses... or ghosts.
> Ask Youmu to join the party.
> Burn "Myon". Watch Youmu's reaction, then put out the fire.
> Remind Sanae that Youmu is still half-human and engaging in half a danmaku battle against her is pointless.
> Besides, they're both main protagonists in a bunch of Touhou games. Be jealous of them. Just a little bit.
> If we receive a call from Satori and see a beacon in the sky, go towards the beacon.

Rika
> Ponder for a little while if Yuuka has something to do with the blocks we've seen before.
> Before taking off to another place, have a drink with the oni.
> Let Komachi lead the way to Higan.
> Annihilate everything that moves on the way there!
> What was Komachi's stupid magic power again? We could use it to our advantage.
> Look at the Titanic. We should definitely work with Nitori on a new nice boat for Komachi.
> Take a good look at Alice. We've seen her before, haven't we? Talk about it with Yuuka.
> Use any opportunity to tease Alice about the PC-98 era her past.
> Request an audience with the Enma. Make use of Komachi's influence if not successful.
> Enter (or invade, if necessary) Eiki's office.
> Interrupt her lectures with SCIENCE TALK.
> Investigation time! Ask Eiki the usual stuff about the incident. Share information with Satori and Mokou if we find anything of interest.
> If Yuuka wants to stay and fight Eiki, let her do her thing and watch the fight from a safe distance.
> If we receive a call from Satori and see a beacon in the sky, let Yuuka rejoin the party and go towards the beacon.

[LaserTurtle]

I'M NOT QUITE DEAD YET!

okay maybe I am, but still!
In all seriousness, I'm sort of intimidated by the giant amount of writing I have to do for the command dump. Bleh.
Satori

>Satori -  "You know, all this falling was fun, but...Everyone can just fly."

>You point this marvelously obvious in hindsight gem of a fact, and everyone around you grins in embarrassment.
>"Oh yeah," Hina mumbles, "we can fly." Now I feel stupid.
>"But falling is fun!" Utsuho complains. And maybe if we fall enough, Satori will give me an egg!

> Chiri will pay for this.
> Get out of the pit and take the path without deathtraps.

>Now is a good time to stop falling, so you do so. You slow down your descent, and Hina and Utsuho follow suit.
>Then you realize that the cave entrance is just below your altitude.
>So... you've been falling down... and somehow ended up higher than you started.
>Does Chiri even think about what she makes?
>Well, whatever. You get back to the crossroads.
>You notice that the service elevator is replaced by a normal wall of rock. Chiri came by here recently...
>That leaves the spike path and the one without anything noticeable. You know which one you're going to take.

> Send Utsuho ahead and let her go postal on all the traps in and out of sight. We've had enough of them already.

>Well, just to be sure...
>"Utsuho," you command, "I want you to destroy any traps we come across. In fact, just fire a laser down the path just to be sure."
>"Yes, Miss Satori!" Utsuho salutes, then fires her nuclear laser through the tunnel.
>You determine that the path is now safe. Nearly burnt to a crisp, but safe.
>You roll a 12 and notice that you're walking towards the spike path before you actually reach it.
>Freakin' dice. You are not in a good mood.
>You walk down the now-charred path and follow it to the end...
>...where you find a door labeled "emergency exit". Of course.
>You really wish you could fire off giant lasers at will right now. Chiri is so infuriating!
>In fact you kick open the emergency exit, then roll a 19. Nearly good enough to fire off a giant destructive laser, even though it's impossible!
>You have to settle with a less destructive giant laser. You have no idea how you managed it.
>Well, you are outside after a huge waste of time, and nearly ready to murder Chiri if you see her.
>Of course, she's nowhere in sight. How can a youkai be so hard to find?
Mokou

> Mokou - Ask Nazrin if she can find this Chiri-person.
> If not, might as well go to Hakugyokurou. They have corpses, right?

>Nazrin stares at you. "Of course I can't!" she explains, "You don't dowse for people! Corpses, maybe, but not people."
>Rin perks up at the mention of corpses.
>This group is impossible to handle. You decide to give the half-ghost and her master a visit.
>The afterlife has corpses, doesn't it?

> To Hakugyokurou!
> On the way there, pester the Prismriver sisters about the incident if they're at the gates.
> Ask them to perform a relaxing BGM.

>On the way there, you see a giant laser being shot into the air near a strange mountain.
>Gensokyo is weird.
>"Halt!" someone says. "You can't just enter the afterlife at will!"
>You turn to face the three poltergeists.
>"Yukari does it all the time," you point out.
>"Well yeah, but she's Yukari. What are we going to do about it?" the red one says. "I'm Lyrica Prismriver. These are my sisters Lunasa and Merlin."
>"Good point," you muse. "I'm Mokou. Nice to meet you. Say, you're musicians, aren't you? Why don't you play something exciting?"
>Wait, you meant to say relaxing. Stupid 2 you rolled.
>"Well, we aren't in a hurry to go anywhere, so we can indulge you!" Merlin grins. "How's this?"
>How the heck are they playing that with only a trumpet, violin, and keyboard?
>Sanae stares. She must be thinking the same thing.

> Let Sanae blow off some steam against the Prismrivers if they are too noisy.

>Sanae is looking fidgety again.
>May as well let her attack something before she decides to attack you. "Go ahead. They're playing too loud anyway."
>"What?" Lunasa asks. Sanae has already declared her spellcard.
>"Sea Opening 'The Day the Sea Split'!"
>You decide to leave her with the Prismrivers. She seems to be having fun. Onwards!

> Burn the Saigyou Ayakashi to get Youmu and Yuyuko's attention. Use decorative fire if possible.
> Put out the fire as soon as they are aware of it.

>You burn the Saigyou Ayakashi with a wonderful decorative fire, courtesy of a rolled 6.
>"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CAN'T JUST SET DEMON TREES ON FIRE LIKE THAT!" Youmu yells. "THEY MURDER PEOPLE!"
>"Immortal, remember?" You grin and put the fire out. "Now, can we go talk to Yuyuko?"
>Youmu ignores you and is staring down Rin. "Corpse stealer."
>Rin is glaring at Youmu. "Half ghost."
>You think they might not be on the best of terms.
>Rin speaks up. "Just saying, you're pretty much half dead. It was a legitimate mistake!"
>Youmu ignores her and grabs your arm. "You were saying that you wanted to speak with Yuyuko?" ske asks you while dragging you away from Rin.

> Send Nazrin to search around for treasures and useful equipment.
> Pester Youmu and Yuyuko about the incident and everything related to it.

>"Nazrin, go search for valuables," you command before being dragged into the house by Youmu. That girl's got a strong grip.
>Yuyuko is waiting inside. "Well, immortal, what business do you have here? Why did you bring that infernal cat?"
>Wow. They really don't like Rin.
>"I came to discuss the recent incident with you. Chiri is acting up again."
>"Well, as long as she doesn't come over here, it's not really our problem." Yuyuko sighs. "I suppose I could send out Youmu to investigate, but I'm sure Sanae, Marisa, and Reimu are doing so already."

> We're kind of understaffed, so let Orin recruit fairies and corpses... or ghosts.
> Ask Youmu to join the party.

>You decide that what you really need now is more party members. You're pretty sure Rin is gathering spirits or something, so you do your part and try to persuade Youmu to join you.
>"I am not working with that cat," Youmu declares.
>Well, you tried.

> Burn "Myon". Watch Youmu's reaction, then put out the fire.

>You burn Youmu's ghost-half-thingy with a roll of 6. She panics.
>Specifically, she screams. "PUTITOUTPUTITOUTPUTITOUTPUTITOUT!"
>You extinguish the decorative fire and Youmu breathes a sigh of relief.
>Sanae enters the room. "What'd I miss? Rin is rolling Nazrin around in the wheelbarrow outside."

> Remind Sanae that Youmu is still half-human and engaging in half a danmaku battle against her is pointless.
> Besides, they're both main protagonists in a bunch of Touhou games. Be jealous of them. Just a little bit.

>Sanae hasn't said anything silly yet, but you're on your guard.
>Parsee sighs and grabs the duct tape. She begs of you, please stop breaking the fourth wall.
Rika

> Ponder for a little while if Yuuka has something to do with the blocks we've seen before.
> Before taking off to another place, have a drink with the oni.

>Yuuka is a really powerful youkai, so it's not out of the question...
>You roll a 4. "Hey oni, can I have a drink?" you ask.
>"Sure!" she grins and shoves her gourd into your mouth.
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINTERNALSCREAMING
>...You are now thoroughly inebriated. You've always been a lightweight.
>What is that sake made out of, anyway?
>Well, in any case, you have to go banana spoon trumpet before the rainbow demands you to accidentally flying across.
>Weird. Why are there two of Komachi and only half of Alice?

> Let Komachi lead the way to Higan.
> Annihilate everything that moves on the way there!

>Komachi is saying something. What was in that drink? You can't think straight.
>You can't think squiggly either. Or circular. Or at all, really.
>Komachi's dragging you off somewhere. Why can't she just let you stare at the little green explosion piggies in peace?
>Ooh, what if you made a slingshot... that fires birds?

> Annihilate everything that moves on the way there!
> What was Komachi's stupid magic power again? We could use it to our advantage.

>You roll a 6. Being drunk won't stop you from destroying all that moves! HAHAHAHAHA! EAT WRENCH, WEIRD FLYING FAIRY-TURTLE!
>You think you need to lie down. Or up. Or left. You just need to lie in some orientation.

> Look at the Titanic. We should definitely work with Nitori on a new nice boat for Komachi.

>Nitori looks concerned. "Are you all left?" she asks you.
>You think she asked you that. Yeah. She probably is waiting for an answer.
>You manage to slur out something vaguely comprehensible. "Yeah, I'm all fine an' stuff..."
>Wait, when did you get on a boat and why is it floating on a sea of red bubbles?

> Take a good look at Alice. We've seen her before, haven't we? Talk about it with Yuuka.
> Use any opportunity to tease Alice about the PC-98 era her past.

>Whew. You are way too drunk to make fun of anybody.
>Or you think you are. In fact, you'll just let everyone else deal with stuff and things before while you unconscious your way to a sober mind.
>You pass out.
DRUNK TIMESKIP!>Your head hurts. What made you think that drinking oni liquor would be a good idea?
>You think you'll just lie here and wait for the room to stop rolling around.
>Everything's a blur. You hope your group managed to get something done while you were out, because you sure didn't.
>When did you come back to Yuuka's sunflower field?
>"Ah, you're awake," Alice notices. "Well, Eiki didn't know about the incident either, but she was upset about it. Chiri's going to have one heck of a lecture once the Yama catches her."
>Why do you feel like your group is more competent when you're not leading it?
>You decide you're asking yourself too many questions.
>Now you just need to decide what to do next...

[capt. h]

Heavy metal is relaxing.

> Satori - continue doing the thing you are doing.
> Is the emergency exit like a fire escape that goes up? Try following it to the bottom.
> Else tell Okuu that she can have a dozen eggs if she finds Chiri.

> Mokou - Apologize for bringing Rin. "Didn't realize Rin was on such bad terms."
> Offer to attempt to kill demon murder tree, if they want. A demon murder tree sounds like a bad thing after all. If they don't, ask why they don't want you to kill the demon murder tree.
> Leave Hakugyokurou with just Rin. And maybe Nazrin. Leave Sanae and Koishi behind to... you dunno, spread the word of Kanako and double check that the incident isn't there. Yeah, that excuse works.
> Figure out relationship between Nazrin and Orin. If Orin is anything like the cats you've seen, you don't really want to explain to Byakuren how Nazrin became Orin's lunch (and you definitely don't want her gifting you a half dead mouse youkai at 3 am.)
> Go to Mystia's lamprey stand. Spend a few hours there listening to the local gossip, see if anything useful turns up.
> While at Mystia's ask Rin what happened to make Yuyuko of all people dislike her so much. Find out about prior incidents at Hakugyokurou. Ply her with alcohol if necessary.

> Rika - Wow, they are efficient.
> Let teammates lead party.

[marukyuu]

This time around I'll refrain from giving commands, as compensation for having issued too many of them up to now. :derp:

[GuyYouMetOnline]

>Satori: Obviously we used Recollection powers to fire an Utsuho-style laser.
>Wait, we have an easier way to find Chiri. If she's been using her power this much, she'll have a lot of misfortune.
>"Hina, Chiri probably has a great deal of misfortune built up by now. Can you sense it and lead us to her?"
>Follow the curse goddess.

[Hanzo K.]

>RIka - "Wooogh. What kinda crazy idea was it to drink Oni Booze..."
>"Y'know, it actually gave me a few ideas. I gotta figure out what that stuff's made from."

[LaserTurtle]

gaaah I forgot again
Rika

> Rika - Wow, they are efficient.
> Let teammates lead party.

>You roll a 2. There's no way you can step down from the position of leader! You may be horribly incompetent, but you get things done!
>In fact, you think you might have negotiated setting the date of your death back a couple of days with the Yama.
>Maybe forward. You were too drunk to remember.
>Well, your point still stands!

>RIka - "Wooogh. What kinda crazy idea was it to drink Oni Booze..."
>"Y'know, it actually gave me a few ideas. I gotta figure out what that stuff's made from."

>Alice doesn't turn to you as she speaks. "You were the one who asked for a drink."
>Yuuka smiles and nods. "As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. And I wouldn't try to build off of those ideas, if I were you."
>You think you have ideas at any rate. You probably scribbled them down somewhere.
>Ah, yes, here they are.
>Time-travel tank? A tank that shoots cupcakes? Flying tank with meat missiles?
>Um. Well. You're not getting that drunk ever again.
>The time travel tank seems like it could be useful though...
Satori

> Satori - continue doing the thing you are doing.
> Is the emergency exit like a fire escape that goes up? Try following it to the bottom.

>There's the other thing. You're now too high up in the air.
>That is, too high as in "logically judging by the steepness of the paths you took, there's no way this could have happened."
>Well, there's a sign next to the door.
Fire escape will come soon, I promise! Don't burn this place down 'til then.
-Chiri
>...of course.

> Else tell Okuu that she can have a dozen eggs if she finds Chiri.

>Utsuho visibly recoils in surprise as you say that. "A whole dozen? At once?" On one hand, it's eggs! But maybe it's a trick so that'd be bad. But eggs!
>"Yup," you nod. "Only if we can find Chiri, though."
>"Are you sure bribing her with eggs is a good id-" Hina begins. I really hope she doesn't do anything rash-oh there she goes.
>"SIR YES SIR!" Utsuho salutes sharply and carves a cavern through the mountain with a giant laser, this one sloping upwards. It's a crusade for the egg!
>Huh. Maybe it wasn't that good of an idea after all.

>Satori: Obviously we used Recollection powers to fire an Utsuho-style laser.
>Wait, we have an easier way to find Chiri. If she's been using her power this much, she'll have a lot of misfortune.
>"Hina, Chiri probably has a great deal of misfortune built up by now. Can you sense it and lead us to her?"
>Follow the curse goddess.

>Strange. You subconsciously used a Recollection? Well, it could be possible.
>You're not the expert in matters like this. In this you have to defer to Koishi.
>Hina smiles and curtsies. "It may be possible, yes. Keep in mind that we'd be following where she's been, not where she is." Anything's better than leaving this task up to Utsuho.
>Utsuho frowns. "You sure you don't want to go my way? I made it already!" Can't let giant lasers go to waste!
>"Yes we can," you say in response to her thoughts. Hina flies towards the Forest of Magic, so you follow her.
Mokou

> Mokou - Apologize for bringing Rin. "Didn't realize Rin was on such bad terms."

>"She takes corpses and burns them in the pits of Hell!" Youmu fumes. "Has she no respect for the dead?"
>"My dear Youmu seems to hold a grudge with her," Yuyuko explains. "If Youmu holds a grudge, there is a very good reason behind it. I trust her judgement."

> Offer to attempt to kill demon murder tree, if they want. A demon murder tree sounds like a bad thing after all. If they don't, ask why they don't want you to kill the demon murder tree.

>"No, no, no!" Youmu shakes her head rapidly. "It's not that simple! It's a powerful youkai!"
>"So?" you ask. "I'll just apply more fire."
>"There's also the problem of me being sort of linked to that 'demon murder tree,' as you so eloquently put it." Yuyuko shakes her head too.
>"Ah. That is a problem."

> Leave Hakugyokurou with just Rin. And maybe Nazrin. Leave Sanae and Koishi behind to... you dunno, spread the word of Kanako and double check that the incident isn't there. Yeah, that excuse works.

>You roll a 5. Successful abandoning!
>"Well, I suppose I shouldn't burden you with Rin any longer," you stand up. "I'll take her and the mouse when I leave."
>"But what about Sanae?" Youmu asks.
>"She'll stay to spread the word about Kanako. Plus it's good shrine-maidenly training for incident-solving. _{Yeah. That's a good excuse.}"
>Youmu narrows her eyes with suspicion, but doesn't say anything.
>As you leave, you catch Rin rolling Nazrin around.
>Nazrin appears to have motion sickness.
>"C'mon, we're leaving."

> Figure out relationship between Nazrin and Orin. If Orin is anything like the cats you've seen, you don't really want to explain to Byakuren how Nazrin became Orin's lunch (and you definitely don't want her gifting you a half dead mouse youkai at 3 am.)

>As you leave, you decide to get a problem out of the way. "Rin, what do you think of Nazrin?"
>"She's fun to toy with," Rin says carelessly while carting the unconscious mouse in the wheelbarrow.
>Just to be sure, you're not going to try and eat her or something, right?"
>"What do you think  I am, a cat?" Rin asks indignantly. "Oh, wait."
>You nod as realization dawns on her. "Yeah. So, you're not going to eat her or gift me her dead body or something, are you?" you ask again.
>"Well, I'm a youkai, too. We have etiquette! Plus, spellcard system and all, so she's probably capable of defending herself."

> Go to Mystia's lamprey stand. Spend a few hours there listening to the local gossip, see if anything useful turns up.

>It's nice having a destination in mind. You go to Mystia's lamprey stand to hear some of the local gossip.
>There's the usual mix of youkai, fairies, and wary humans at the stand.
>The usual sign is hung in front, too.
I don't care whether you're human or youkai.  If you start a fight at my stand, you're going to be sung so far into night-blindness that you'll have to feel your way around for days.
-Mystia
>The gossip here can be about anything, so you hope for the best. You roll a 5 and hear some juicy information.
>"That weird land-changing youkai is back at it again."
>"She is, but when I caught a glimpse of her in the Forest of Magic, she seemed to be nervous. Holding a book, too, if I recall correctly."
>"Think she's started stealing from the library like Marisa does?"
>"Dunno. She seems too nervous in general for something like that, though."
>"You can never tell with youkai. Who knows what's going on in their heads?"
>"You're at a primarily youkai-populated food stand. This isn't the best place to ask that question. Sheesh, humans are weird."
>This gossip certainly is getting you somewhere. Well, since you're here, there's something else you want to try...

> While at Mystia's ask Rin what happened to make Yuyuko of all people dislike her so much. Find out about prior incidents at Hakugyokurou. Ply her with alcohol if necessary.

>You're curious about what happened with Rin. "Hey, park your wheelbarrow here and lemme buy you a few drinks," you tell her.
Girls are drinking and telling stories, please wait warmly...>"...an' I tried carting her away while she was asleep. She wasn't moving, and there was a ghost next to her!" Rin finishes up another story drunkenly. "Anyway, there's this other time that I was carting away evil spirits..."
>By now the other customers are listening to Rin's stories with interest.
>You can sympathize with both sides, you suppose. Rin's just doing her job, after all. Stories about death aren't ones you're good with, at any rate.

[marukyuu]

Rika
> Time travel tank? Nitori must definitely help us. Next time, we should also ask Suika if her booze can be used as fuel.
> We're out of options, by the way. Call Mokou and Satori and ask them if they've found something of interest.
> Go look for them.
> Destroy everything in our way! Being drunk with power is way better than being drunk with oni booze.
> Have Komachi shorten the distance between our current location and our destination(s) via her stupid magic powers.
> If we find Satori and/or Mokou, do not look like we found nothing of use.

Mokou
> Land-changing youkai? Too bad we left Sanae at Hakugyokurou. We can exterminate Chiri just fine, but the help of a specialist is always a good thing to have. Eh, whatever.
> Chiri, a strange book, Forest of Magic... Roll to digest the information we found.
> Search the Forest of Magic regardless.
> Help Nazrin get back to her senses and ask her to look for... quantum stuff. Follow her.
> Ponder about burning Rin's wheelbarrow. That "Hell's Traffic Accident" thing is true, after all...
> If there are powerful fairies around, make them play zombie with Rin. The more, the merrier.

Satori
> Using Utsuho's Recollections might be a good thing. We too get to punish Chiri with humongous lasers and "miniature" suns. The more firepower we unleash on her, the better.
> Think of other useful Recollection spells.

[GuyYouMetOnline]

>Satori: "Don't worry, Okuu; you'll still get your eggs."
>Once we find Chiri, we can just have her make the eggs.
>Follow that Hina!

[capt. h]

> Mokou: "That explains a lot."
> Check on Nazrin.
> Follow Forest of Magic lead. See if Nazrin can track a book in a forest, even if it means going through Alice and Marisa's house first.
(> Or just track down Chiri's magical dress thing if we know about it.)

> Rika: Pick a direction.
> Go in that direction.

> Satori - Follow that goddess!

[LaserTurtle]

Spellcheck considers Northeaster a word, but not Southwestest. Strange.

(> Or just track down Chiri's magical dress thing if we know about it.)

>Nope. Mokou has no idea about Chiri's magic quantum dress. Parsee tosses this command in the incinerator pile.
>It's a good thing a backlog of invalid commands were gathered early. They're becoming scarce.
Satori

> Using Utsuho's Recollections might be a good thing. We too get to punish Chiri with humongous lasers and "miniature" suns. The more firepower we unleash on her, the better.
> Think of other useful Recollection spells.

>Chiri will get what's coming to her. Oh yes she will...
>"You okay there, Satori?" Hina asks. "You're looking a little creepy right now." By a little, I mean really, really creepy. And foreboding. And evil.
>Generally, as a rule of thumb, you can make a Recollection spell on the fly off of anyone you're with. You currently have the crazy barrage you recollected from Sanae, too.
>Sadly, your Recollection cards only can be used once. The only ones you can pull off consistently are the ones you take from your own mind, like Terrifying Hypnotism.

>Satori: "Don't worry, Okuu; you'll still get your eggs."
>Once we find Chiri, we can just have her make the eggs.

>"Really? I get to have eggs when we're done?" Utsuho exclaims. "Yay!" We're gonna investigate this incident and get more eggs!
>Of course, if Chiri's going to quantum up the eggs, that means you can't beat her up so much. Hm. Decisions, decisions.
>Hold on, Rika's calling you...
This call can be seen on Rika's side of the story!

>Follow that Hina!

> Satori - Follow that goddess!

>Well, you can't plot forever! You'll get nowhere that way.
>Hina's going to the Forest of Magic, so you gotta keep up. You trust Utsuho to follow you and not get lost.
>On the way there, you roll a 4.
>You don't know how it happened, but now you're in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, which certainly lives up to its name.
>You have no idea where you are. Well, at least you know that Hina and Utsuho are with you.
>Maybe it's for the best, Utsuho thinks. There aren't any hallucinogenic mushrooms here, are there? Ooh, a mushroom!
>Nearby exits are North, West, East, South, Southeast, Northwest, Southwest, Northeast, Northeaster, Southwestest, North-Southwest-East, Up, and Sideways
Mokou

> Mokou: "That explains a lot."

>Rin shrugs, then slumps on the table. "mmyeah, I guess..."

> Land-changing youkai? Too bad we left Sanae at Hakugyokurou. We can exterminate Chiri just fine, but the help of a specialist is always a good thing to have. Eh, whatever.
> Chiri, a strange book, Forest of Magic... Roll to digest the information we found.

>You suspect that Sanae is a specialist at Youkai Extermination. Then again, Reimu and Marisa probably are, too.
>You have no idea what that would entail. What would be the difference between them and any other people who use spellcards to beat up youkai?
>You roll a 6. Perfect Information Digest!
>The information digests flawlessly through your brain and passes through the body with minimal waste - oh wait that's not how metaphors work.
>So, from what you suspect, Chiri is roaming around Gensokyo with a book that's probably magical and possibly sentient. Her being in the Forest of Magic was probably to gather ingredients for a spell or something; Marisa uses mushrooms in potions and stuff all the time.

> Search the Forest of Magic regardless.
> Help Nazrin get back to her senses and ask her to look for... quantum stuff. Follow her.

>This thinking, while informative, gets you no closer to finding where Chiri is currently. You need an expert in finding things.
>Luckily, you have one right here! Sure, she's unconscious, but not for long!
>Hold on, Rika's calling you...
This call can be seen on Rika's side of the story!

> Check on Nazrin.

>You poke her until she wakes up. It takes 494 pokes.
>"DON'T EAT ME, EAT SHOU INSTEAD! Oh, hi. You're the phoenix lady, right?"
>"Yup. Mokou Fujiwara, immortal human. Can you just look around for quantum ...stuff or something?"
>Nazrin looks unsure. "Okay. I'm not sure it'll come up with anything, though."
>She holds her dowsing rods up in the air, and concentrates.
>The dowsing rods start spinning and gaining speed. Eventually, they are spinning so fast, they're lifting the little mouse youkai in the air.
>Nazrin panics and lets go. She falls to the ground and her dowsing rods land next to her.
>She scratches her head. "From what I've gathered, quantum stuff is everywhere. Yeah. That's not going to be a good lead."

> Search the Forest of Magic regardless.

> Follow Forest of Magic lead. See if Nazrin can track a book in a forest, even if it means going through Alice and Marisa's house first.

>Well, you might as well search the Forest of Magic.
>"Hey! Rin!" you call to the cat. "We're leaving for the Forest of Magic! Come on!"

> Ponder about burning Rin's wheelbarrow. That "Hell's Traffic Accident" thing is true, after all...
> If there are powerful fairies around, make them play zombie with Rin. The more, the merrier.

>"Your reputation precedes you," you tell Rin. "I've got half a mind to just burn your wheelbarrow to prevent accidents."
>"No!" Rin throws herself protectively over her wheelbarrow. "It's mine! It keeps me company!"
>There aren't any powerful fairies in sight. Mystia's stand usually doesn't attract those.
Rika

> Time travel tank? Nitori must definitely help us. Next time, we should also ask Suika if her booze can be used as fuel.

>Nitori looks over your shoulder. "Time travel tank? No way. Even if it was possible, using it would just irritate Keine."
>Ah yes, the schoolteacher. Apparently she controls history or something.

> We're out of options, by the way. Call Mokou and Satori and ask them if they've found something of interest.

>You roll a 4 and Satori picks up. "Rika? Are you any closer to finding Chiri?"
>"Well, that's what I wanted to ask you about."
>"Apparently, Chiri passed through the Forest of Magic some time ago. Other than that, I've got nothing."
>"Well, thanks anyway," you tell her and hang up.
>Now for Mokou! Rolled a 6.
>"Rika? Hey there! I've just figured out a possible theory! Listen to this..."
>Mokou explains what she thought about. Chiri using some sort of sentient magical grimoire? Seems actually pretty likely.
>"Huh," you say after Mokou finishes talking. "Well, that does make sense. I'll call you and Satori if I find anything."
>You hang up.

> Go look for them.

>You have no way of finding them! How is that going to happen?

> Rika: Pick a direction.
> Go in that direction.

>Well, that works. You roll a 3 and start heading South-Northwest-Up towards the big forest of bamboo.

> Destroy everything in our way! Being drunk with power is way better than being drunk with oni booze.
> Have Komachi shorten the distance between our current location and our destination(s) via her stupid magic powers.

>Yes. It is much better. When you're drunk with power, you can actually remember all the glorious destruction you cause.
>Of course, you have no idea where you parked your tank.
>Well, you'll have to make do by throwing wrenches at everyone. CHARGE!
>Alice nudges Komachi. "That crazy scientist is going at it again. Can you get us closer to our destination so we don't have to worry about her again?"
>Komachi nods. "It's probably for the best."
>The space around you and the others warps. You are suddenly in front of the big bamboo forest.
>You didn't even get to throw a single wrench at anyone!
>Now that you're close to it, that bamboo forest looks like it's somewhere you can easily get lost in. For all you know, everyone else could be lost in it too!

[GuyYouMetOnline]

>Rika: Maxe a GPS out of dirt, bamboo, and whatever else is around. That way we won't get lost.
>If that doesn't work, just mark our path so we know if we're going in circles.

[capt. h]

Mokou: Call Kaguya.

Everyone: Start searching.

[LaserTurtle]

LaserTurtle fails at remembering to do things, part 7!
Mokou

Mokou: Call Kaguya.

>You don't need to roll for this! After all, it's saved in your call history.
>"MOKOU I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL THIS NUMBER!"
>"Calm down Teruyo Kaguya, it's not like I can kill you over the phone. _{not for lack of trying, though...}"
>"So? Why are you calling me, anyway? _{and did you just call me Teruyo? I think I might have imagined that...}"
>Good point. Why did you call her?
>"Huh. I guess I just wanted to say hi to you. Hey, can you search the bamboo forest for that quantum geography youkai? I can't find her anywhere."
>"Well, what would you say if I told you we have her in one of Tewi's pit traps?"
>"Do you?"
>"No."
>"Thought not."
>It's clear that Kaguya's not going to be of any help. You hang up.

Everyone: Start searching.

>You assume that everyone else is already searching for Chiri. You might as well start too.
>Where should you search, though?
Rika

>Rika: Maxe a GPS out of dirt, bamboo, and whatever else is around. That way we won't get lost.

>Well, this forest of bamboo looks like quite a maze. It would do you no good to get lost in here!
>You shall have to put your amazing science skills to use! LET'S IMPROVISE A GPS!
Girls are failing to make making a GPS, please wait at whatever temperature you see fit.>So far, you have this little spinny bamboo pinwheel. There's this shiny rock that you put on as decoration.
>Nope. You're not going to get anything invented with this sort of bamboo. Clearly, it is not the technological bamboo plant, which conducts electricity without shocking anyone who touches it.

>If that doesn't work, just mark our path so we know if we're going in circles.

>You pocket the bamboo pinwheel and shiny rock, just in case.
>You should know when you go in circles! Well, just to be safe, you tighten a wrench on one of the many bamboo shoots. There. You have to remember to do this periodically.

Everyone: Start searching.

>Well, you can't let getting lost impede your progress! Onward into the labyrinth of bamboo!
Time is sorta weird here. Blame Sakuya.>Alice sighs. "You really don't know where you're going, do you?"
>"Hmm," Yuuka looks at the bamboo thoughtfully. "I prefer sunflowers. Do you think the residents would mind if I added a few around the place?"
>Nitori laughs nervously. "Go ahead. What could they do to you? You're Yuuka, after all."
>"Hold it!" a voice calls from above.
>A small rabbit girl in a pink dress drops down from her hiding place. "I've filled this place with hidden pit traps! You need to pay me, or else I won't guide you through!"
>Komachi groans. "Not that irritating little rabbit. Why did it have to be her?"
Satori

Everyone: Start searching.

>Well, you are completely lost. It's not all that great of a place to start.
>You've just passed by a bamboo shoot with a wrench on it.
>Hina examines the wrench. Who would put a wrench on a shoot of bamboo?
>"Probably Rika," you guess. "If she's marking her path."
>That's actually a good idea. You should have thought of something like that before you got hopelessly lost.
>Utsuho's being strangely quiet in the back. That's not a good sign.
>Woop woop woop. Why did I eat that mushroom? Woop woop woop. I'm expecting for its crazy effects to start up any minute now, but nothing's happening. It tasted like eggplant, anyway.
>Yeah. Something is wrong with that girl.
>Someone come running up behind you, and you catch their thoughts.
>You're behind it, are you? "Stop! Do you know how tiring it is to have to find and remove all the wrenches on the bamboo?"
>You turn to face a red-eyed rabbit girl. "Nope. We're not behind it. We know who it is, but I don't think we can lead you to her."
>The girl sighs. "Great. She's still putting more wrenches on bamboo plants, is she?"
>"Probably."
>Utsuho collapses on the ground. "Spork origami elephant..." she mumbles
>She suddenly sits up. "RAPTORS!" she screams. She points her control rod at the bunny girl and starts charging up her laser.
>That isn't good.

[Hanzo K.]

>Satori - Dope slap Okuu. "You want eggs, right? Then behave."

[capt. h]

> Rika - Remind bunny girl the reason pit traps don't work in Gensokyo.
> Then, use the advanced interrogation teqnique "5 seconds with Yuuka" to find out what the bunny girl knows.

> Mokou - Might as well start searching forest of magic, that was our last lead.

> Satori - Demand Utsuho give her control rod to you.
> Have Hina put Utsuho in a full nelson immediately.

[GuyYouMetOnline]

>Satori: Then wonder why we would want Utsuho to have less control over her abilities, and give the control rod back.

[LaserTurtle]

Part 8 of the continuing saga of procrastination! Critics are raving about it! We're not entirely sure if that's a good thing, but still!
Mokou

> Mokou - Might as well start searching forest of magic, that was our last lead.

>Well, you could always start to search the Forest of Magic. The gossip says that you should, in any case.
>You drag the tipsy Rin and wary Nazrin into the Forest of Magic.
Just like in a game, we skip to an important scene!>The Forest of Magic may not be as confusing as the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, but it's not for lack of trying.
>You entered a cave a while back. It seemed like a good idea at the time, for some reason.
>Rin giggles. "Heyy... ish sorta like the big network of caves leading to the underground! 'Cept there's more mushrooms."
>Nazrin frowns. "If you're looking for Chiri, why didn't you ask me to dowse for something of hers?"
>"You said you couldn't dowse for people! _{Plus I didn't think of it.}"
>Nazrin sighs. "Of course."
>A familiar voice appears from behind you. "What are you doing in my mushroom garden?"
>Rin turns around and waves. "Hello, Marisa!" she greets the witch.
Satori

>Satori - Dope slap Okuu. "You want eggs, right? Then behave."

>Utsuho promptly points her third arm at you. "You're not Satori! You have too many eyes!"
>A peek into her thoughts reveals that she's hallucinating. Hahaha! This can't be happening! I must be dreaaaaammiiiiiing! Oh hey, a turtle! No wait, focus on the raptors!

> Satori - Demand Utsuho give her control rod to you.

>"You'll never take this drumstick alive!" Utsuho yells furiously. Those raptors are tricky, but they don't know about Satori's emergency arm confiscation feature!
>You disarm her. You are so glad that you got the kappa to install a secret arm removal override.

> Have Hina put Utsuho in a full nelson immediately.

>"Please put Utsuho in a full nelson, Hina," you command her.
>"Full nelson?" Hina looks confused. What's that?
>You use the lesser-known half of your powers to send an image of the restraining position into Hina's head.
>Realization dawns on her face. "So that's what it's called!" Not that I needed to know, but it's still a pretty cool fact.
>She restrains Utsuho, who is currently babbling about cauldrons and helicopters.
>Reisen just stares at the whole scene. What is happening? I'm so confused!
>You explain to the bunny girl. "Apparently, this girl ate a mushroom. Now she's gone crazy. Again."
>Reisen smiles. "Then how about I take you to Eientei? Eirin cured her of this last time, if I remember correctly." I'm not even going to try, especially after what happened last time.
>"Wait, last time?" Hina asks. What last time? Has this happened before?

>Satori: Then wonder why we would want Utsuho to have less control over her abilities, and give the control rod back.

>You're holding Utsuho's control rod and wondering why you took it off.
>If memory serves, she now has even less control of her power.
>Yup, she's generating a miniature sun in one of her hands.
>You re-attach it to her. Just to be safe.
>Reisen leads you to Eientei, or, as Mokou put it in her thoughts, "The place with those dang moon people and bunnies."
Rika

> Rika - Remind bunny girl the reason pit traps don't work in Gensokyo.

>"Pretty much everyone can fly, remember?" you tell the bunny girl.
>"If that's so, why aren't you flying right now?"
>Oh right. You can't fly, even if the others can. "...that's not the point!"
>The bunny girl's not buying it. Time for Plan C, parts 5a to 43f.

> Then, use the advanced interrogation teqnique "5 seconds with Yuuka" to find out what the bunny girl knows.

>"Yuuka, can you take this little girl somewhere secluded and convince her to help us?" you ask.
>"It would be my pleasure," Yuuks grins. "Now come with me, Tewi; you have a lot to answer for..."
>She grabs the little bunny's arm and drags her off.
>Moments later, you hear the sound of a giant laser. And then another. And another.
Timeskip, WITH LASERS!>Yuuka drags Tewi back. Tewi looks a lot more nervous.
>"So, about that guide..." you begin.
>"I'lltakeyoutoEienteisopleasedon'tleavemealonewithYuukaagain!"
>Komachi looks at Alice and shrugs. "Works for me."

[capt. h]

> Satori and Rika: Go follow the bunnies.

> Mokou: Dialog options.

> Plot: Begin to suddenly unfold.

[LaserTurtle]

Where's my motivation? I could've sworn I had it a moment ago...
Rika

> Satori and Rika: Go follow the bunnies.

>Tewi guides you to Eientei, without anything interesting or dangerous happening.
>Well, you did use Yuuka. That would explain things.
>She even opens the door for you. Whatever Yuuka did, it was effective. You and your posse step inside...
>...and fall into a gap. Er, what?
>Yukari is glaring at you. You glare back. You were about to go to Eientei, and she just gaps you into this weird 10-dimensional space.
>You grab a wrench that is floating aimlessly in the air (there's another thing. Your Trans-dimensional Scientific Material Storage is wandering around the place. Stupid cheating border.) and ready your throwing arm.
Satori

> Satori and Rika: Go follow the bunnies.

Reisen opens the door to Eientei. "Hey, Tewi. Why are you here? Don't you have pit traps to tend to?" Not that I'm complaining. Less pit traps for me to fall in.
>"Oh, I'm just glad that Yuuka isn't here anymore. Remind me to thank Yukari once I get the chance." Giant lasers are not conducive to rational thinking.
>Hina scratches her head. I feel like we just missed something interesting.
>Utusho smiles. "You guys have eggs right?" she asks. Because I want an egg. You guys should have some. Crazy moon people probably have crazy moon eggs, though. Are those edible? Do I have to irradiate them?
>She takes a step into Eientei and falls into a gap. Moments after, you and Hina drop into one.
>You land in front of a very upset Yukari. A wrench hits you on the back of your head.
>"What? That's cheating!" Rika exclaims. It's not fair; you can't just gap people in to block hits!
>"Yes she can. She's Yukari," you reply bluntly. Thrown wrenches hurt.
>"Great, you guys are here. Now to find Mokou..." Yukari claps her hands once.
>You don't try to read her mind. She probably has some block of some sort in place, anyway.

Mokou

> Mokou: Dialog options.

>You consider several dialog options.
"Being lost; you?"
"I lost at rock-paper-scissors."
"What are your mushrooms doing in my hermit cave?"
"Stuff and things, Marisa. Stuff and things."
"If I told you, you'd probably use your Master Spark."
"I've claimed this cave for the territory of the bamboo forest."
>Unfortunately for you, you and your group drop into a gap before you have time to pick a good line.
>You land in a pile of wrenches. Nazrin lands on top of you, and Rin lands on top of Satori.

> Plot: Begin to suddenly unfold.

Convenient Third-Person Point-of-View
>Yukari waits for everyone to stop fussing around, and takes a deep breath.
>"What have you guys been doing?" she yells to get everyone's attention. "You guys aren't getting anywhere! It's been what, three months eight hours? Whenever Reimu finally gets off her butt, incidents usually get resolved within a half hour!"
>Yuuka frowns. "Well, why don't you get Reimu to solve this, then?"
>"I tried! She just threw some charms at me and flew back out through the gap. So, you guys are now responsible for solving this."
>Alice sighs. "And why did you choose us?"
>"I can't answer that without getting Parsee upset. Actually, you guys were just tagging along. Really, the ones in charge are Mokou, Satori, and Rika."
>"So, did you bring us all here just to lecture us?" Rin asks. "Wait, did you just make me not drunk without a hangover? Cool."
>"Yes to the second question, no to the first. You'll see. Stop trying to sneak out of here, Nitori. There isn't an exit."
>"Aww..."
>Yukari pauses in thought before opening up a gap and yelling into it. "You too! This is your fault too! If you actually planned things out in advance, maybe these people would be getting somewhere!"
>She closes the gap and turns back to her audience.
>"Anyway! Get back out there! Go solve this incident before I go crazy!"
>"I'd say you're pretty crazy already," Komachi mutters.
>Yukari ignores her. "You know how irritating it is that I can't sleep because of bad rolls?"
>Yukari finishes her lecture, and kicks everyone through another gap.
>Everyone ends up in a big pile. Hina is on the bottom. Unlucky her.
>Satori looks up from her position in the middle of the pile and sees a tower that stretches into the sky.
>Utsuho notices it, too. "I think this is Chiri's work."
>Rika rolls off of the top of the pile and stands up. "Why do I even build these tanks if I don't get to take them along for an adventure?" she complains.
>A gap opens, and S.A.T.O.R.I.N. drops out next to her.
>A note is attached.
Take this one. Get going; we might have all day, but that doesn't mean you should take that long!

[GuyYouMetOnline]

>Satori: Wait, didn't Chiri make a big tower when Utsuho was chasing after her with Sakuya and Flandre?
>"Utsuoh, Chiri made a big tower before, right?"
>Compare Utsuho's memory of that tower to the tower in front of us. Does it look like they're the same tower?