-
>"Flandre?"
>"Yes, big sis?"
>"Next time I tell you to open a box, you're allowed to disobey me."
>"Well, I can see why," Sakuya mutters.
>The two vampires, after a series of failed dice rolls, are now standing in the remains of a gigantic centipede.
Off The Rails 2
The second adventure of improvisation run by LaserTurtle. Read the first one (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/forum/index.php/topic,13353.0.html) if you want to learn what led up to this!
>We can't have the same protagonists for this one, unless you guys really want to, so...
>Choose 3 characters.
-
> Yumemi Okazaki
> Rika
> Nitori Kawashiro
-
> Tewi
> Reisen
> Reisen II
-
> Tewi
> Reisen
> Reisen II
You sure like rabbits, eh?
-
> Mokou
> Rika
> Yuuka
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>Utsuho
>Nue
>Satori
-
>Yuuka
>Mima
>Shinki
-
>Change my Utsuho vote to Shinki.
-
>Mokou
>Kaguya
>Satori
-
>Nue
>Koishi
>Satori
-
>Satori
>Rika
>Mokou
-
>Patchouli Knowledge
>Keine Kamashiwasara
>Fujiwara no Mokou
-
So it turns out I am not in control of my sleep schedule! Sleep deprivation is fun!
Counting votes...
>...The lucky winners are:
>Mokou
>Satori
>Rika
>Better luck next time, everyone else! You may be considered for a secondary role later in the future!
Rika
>You are Rika [REDACTED], one of the two human scientists native to Gensokyo. Your roommate, Rikako Asakura, shares your ultra-secret lair that is extremely secret and most certainly isn't in plain sight in the Human Village.
>It is so secret that the pesky shrine maiden doesn't even visit. This is convenient. You don't want her and her mystical powers wrecking all your super secret war projects.
>You never leave the lab. Rikako does all of the errands, so you see no point in going away from your super important science projects.
>Rikako has been telling you strange stories about Gensokyo, like that time when winter went on for longer than it should have, the endless night, and something about a shrine appearing on the top of Youkai Mountain.
>Where does she get those stories, anyway? They seem ridiculous, but whenever you try to tell her that, she reminds you of the time when a bunch of demon tourists invaded Gensokyo, and you have to admit that a lot of weird stuff happens in Gensokyo.
>The most recent one going around is when a bunch of architectural structures were constantly appearing and disappearing around Gensokyo, culminating in a new ominous castle next to the old Scarlet Devil Mansion.
>Ah, there Rikako is now. Why does she look all tired out after a simple trip to the market?
Mokou
>You are Fujiwara no Mokou, one of two immortals in Gensokyo. You are returning home after killing your rival, Kaguya Houraisan, once again. With the new dice-rolling system arbitrarily imposed across Gensokyo, your duels pretty much end up going whoever can roll a six first. It's rather irritating.
>In fact, you would go and beat up whoever's making this happen, except you don't have Reimu's intuition. Wandering around without a purpose would likely just get you worse than nowhere, especially since the quantum geography is acting up again.
>Well, that actually might be a good place to start. You heard that quantum geography actually became a youkai, so you can start by beating her up. That's how Reimu goes around solving incidents, isn't it?
>Of course, you need a break. Dice or no dice, killing Kaguya until she's too tired to regenerate immediately takes a lot of energy out of you.
>Maybe you'll go to sleep early. It's not that late, but it's definitely past lunchtime. You remember Kaguya getting a sneaky kill in by poisoning your lunch several times over during the ceasefire.
Satori
>You are Satori Komeji, one of two satoris (your parents weren't good at naming) left in Gensokyo. None of the others were kind enough to leave a written history about them, so you don't know anything about them.
>You're stuck with a giant palace in the underground with your pets, Ustuho Reiuji and Rin Kaenbyou. Rin is competent at her job, and you can usually rely on her to run errands.
>Utsuho... well she's enthusiastic, at least. The last time she went out, she ended up bringing Flandre Scarlet over before going out and (if the rumors are to be believed) brute-forcing her way through puzzles to the culprit behind quantum geography with the help of Flandre Scarlet and Sakuya Izayoi. Things have settled down since then, but not much.
>This is mainly because now if anyone wants to do anything, they have to roll a theoretical die to determine success. Your life wasn't affected much, since you pretty much just sit around the palace all day, but some of the oni and other underground youkai are complaining. And when they have complaints, they take it up with you, and you have to play the mediator.
>It's generally not a very eventful job, since the oni can run the place well despite being drunk all day long.
>Speaking of mediators, it looks like Parsee is being dragged by Yuugi to seek your advice. What could those two want?
-
>Satori: Read their minds as they approach, then address their issue before they have a chance to speak.
-
>Rika: While appearing uninterested, and working on something else, ask Rikako what the hell happened.
-
> Rika - Inventory: list tanks in garage.
> Mokou - Wonder why Kaguya even bothers with poison.
> Take nap.
> Wake up.
> Satori - Have Dungeons and Dragons rulebook on hand. Prepare your 20 sided dice.
-
Rika
> Perform routine system checks on tanks.
> Get distracted by Rikako.
> Get angry at Rikako.
Mokou
> Go bother Keine.
Satori
> Try to ignore Parsee's jealousy-related thoughts.
-
Mokou:
>Ask Keine about how dices are used, why the heck they had to roll a 6, and also, what the hell is going on.
>Attempts to go to Keine on foot, without dicerolls.
>Check condition of SpellCards. Have they been affected by the dice thingy yet?
-
Rika
>Rika: While appearing uninterested, and working on something else, ask Rikako what the hell happened.
>You get to work on your next amazingly super secret project. "So, Rikako. You don't look like you were just on a shopping trip to the market."
>Rikako sighs. "Yeah. It's a long story. Did you know that everyone has to roll a dice to decide their success now?"
>"I don't see how that relates," you sing, grabbing a couple of extra parts from spare parts drawer #22.
>"Turns out that if you get a series of ones and all the mundane bad stuff has happened to you, some really weird stuff happens."
> Perform routine system checks on tanks.
> Get distracted by Rikako.
> Get angry at Rikako.
>You start a system check on all your tanks. Can't leave home without them in proper condition, after all.
>Rikako's story is ridiculous. You'll try to get distracted now, watch!
>You roll a 5.
>"...So I had to distract the giant butterfly by beaning it in the face with my jetpack, which spontaneously started working again."
>You are successfully distracted by Rikako's story. "What? Is that the reason you come back with no parts at all?"
>"No, that was before, when a bunch of fairies managed to pickpocket me successfully. I told you, today was a bad day."
>This development does not make you happy. You are low on parts that are sorted in drawer #15.3, and were relying on the expectation of more of those parts to finish up this tank,
> Rika - Inventory: list tanks in garage.
>You roll a 6. Yeah. You're starting to think Rikako may actually have a point.
>As for tanks in your garage, there are:
>Remote-controlled mini-tanks with various weaponry. You like building these because they're simple to make and effective. They also are fairly good at cleaning the house.
>Phoenix Model Left and Right, two flamethrowing tanks designed to work in tandem. You installed some basic logical processing in them, so they work fairly well as lawyers.
>Roller Mk. 9, a ball shaped tank with no weapons besides a laser attack that has a blind spot right in front of it. It's a stupid design, and you have no idea why you built it in the first place, let alone nine versions of it.
>Companion Tank, a tank that's heavy and has no weaponry. It has a heart on it, though! Sometimes you think that it would be a great friend who won't try to threaten you with knives.
>The experimental Pop Star, a tank that's supposed to copy the bullet patterns of others.
>And of course, Evil Eye Sigma v2.0. It has more lasers and bullets than ever, and it still follows spellcard regulations!
Mokou
> Mokou - Wonder why Kaguya even bothers with poison.
> Take nap.
> Wake up.
>Kaguya should know by now that poisons aren't effective if they keep being used. You think that she does it just as a formality.
>Falling into bed to take a nap, you roll a 5. Your nap is successful.
> Go bother Keine.
>Attempts to go to Keine on foot, without dicerolls.
>When you wake up feeling well rested, you head over to Keine's place. You know the way well enough to not have to worry about dice rolls.
>Ask Keine about how dices are used, why the heck they had to roll a 6, and also, what the hell is going on.
>"Oh, hi Mokou. So, with a bit of research, I found something pretty interesting. You don't have to roll to use your natural ability or when you're just talking with someone."
>"That's nice, Keine, but why do I have to roll a 6 to beat Kaguya, now? do you know why all this is happening?" you ask while lounging on a chair.
>"Well, I guess it would be because you and Kaguya are both skilled enough that only a complete success will allow either one of you to gain the upper hand. As to why all these dice rules are in place, I have no idea. It just happened out of nowhere."
>Check condition of SpellCards. Have they been affected by the dice thingy yet?
>Nope, they haven't. You can use them normally, but you have to roll to decide how well you dodge someone else's spellcards.
>Satori: Read their minds as they approach, then address their issue before they have a chance to speak.
> Try to ignore Parsee's jealousy-related thoughts.
>Parsee, being Parsee, naturally has a mind full of jealous thoughts. It's a pain to sort through them, but you eventually find that Parsee's also drunk out of her mind. She's incoherent besides the jealousy.
>Yuugi is drunk too, but you can understand the situation from her thoughts. She and Parsee were in the middle of a drinking contest because Parsee got a bad roll on denying companionship.
>You speak up. "That's nice, but what do you need my help for? Did either of you think about why you were coming here?"
>Judging by the looks on their faces, you surmise that neither of them know what they're doing here. Must have been one heck of a drinking party.
>You send them off again. You have an idea related to the current dice-rolling problem going on right now...
> Satori - Have Dungeons and Dragons rulebook on hand. Prepare your 20 sided dice.
>You roll a 19. Success! You pull out your D&D rulebook, which has house rules scribbled in the margins everywhere. The house rules make it much more fun, after all.
Satori now uses a 20-sided die. Good job?
>You wonder whether you should keep this advantage to yourself or if you should share it...
-
Rika
> Give a fitting nickname to the Pop Star tank. Call it "M.A.R.I.S.U.H."
> Think about a good meaning for the acronym above.
> Toss away your dice. Science does not need luck!
Mokou
> Be moe.
Satori
> Extract information from Yuugi's ramblings, using your D&D house rules as arguments if needed.
-
Mokou
>Acquire Tewi to ensure consistent dice rolls of 6.
-
Mokou
>"So, Keine, you mean... that now our world is screwed upside down, and yet, Reimu is not out solving incidents?"
>Bid Keine goodbye.
>Go reason with Reimu.
>Give up in annoyance to Reimu's laziness, and then go to find HurrYukari. She is the Youkai of Borders, and should be able to manipulate some borders to fix everything.
>"Where was she again?"
>Force an answer out of Reimu. Knowing her weakness to heat, use it to your advantage while getting an answer out of her.
-
Satori
> Extract information from Yuugi's ramblings, using your D&D house rules as arguments if needed.
>You roll a 5. It seems good, but then you remember you're using the d20.
>Yuugi slams the door open, once again dragging Parsee behind her.
>"Satoriiiiiii," the drunk oni slurs, "Parshee here won' admit d'feat. I won fair and shquare!"
>"It duzn' coun'," mumbles Parsee, "I rolled a one, so iss not my fault..."
>You sigh. "Parsee, no matter what you rolled, you would've lost. Why did you accept that drinking contest anyway?"
>"Roll'd sev'ral ones..." Parsee groans before falling unconscious.
>Well, negotiations are going nowhere. Once again, a boring day passes in the underground.
Rika
> Give a fitting nickname to the Pop Star tank. Call it "M.A.R.I.S.U.H."
> Think about a good meaning for the acronym above.
> Toss away your dice. Science does not need luck!
>You feel like M.A.R.I.S.U.H. is a good name for Pop Star. Of course, those initials have to stand for something...
>You roll a 2. Marine... Acrobatic... Ugh! Naming things like this is impossible!
>Of course the very thought of having your every move dictated by pure luck, is silly. Besides, you don't even have any dice!
>Except for the one that just rolled a 2. Huh. Rikako wasn't just making up an excuse after all.
>You throw the die away. Luck has no place in a house of science!
Unfortunately, you rolled a 1. The die appears back in your pocket. You try it again.
>You roll a 2. It bounces off the wall and hits you back. This is frustrating.
>You try again and roll a 4. The die lands in the incinerator chute, where it shall be burned in your furnace tank for heat.
>Wait, if you just threw that die away, how are you still rolling?
>You reach into a pocket, and a new die is there. Of course.
>Well, you're not going to be rid of this annoying luck-based mechanic, any time soon. What are you going to do?
> Be moe.
>You roll a 1. Utter failure (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=924875), but hey, it could be worse. The author was too lazy to search the depths of safebooru, after all.
>Keine is dazzled by your manly charm. Well, sorta-manly charm. Reverse bishonen trap charm?
>Acquire Tewi to ensure consistent dice rolls of 6.
>It's no use. You know that mainly because when Kaguya tried, Tewi only rolled 6 for herself. It was hilarious when Kaguya rolled a 1 that she didn't expect and ran straight into a bullet during the first second of Immortal 'Fire Bird -Flying Phoenix-'.
>In Eientei, Tewi is playing a slot machine that dropped in from the outside world. She has gotten the jackpot seventeen times in a row and counting.
>"So, Keine, you mean... that now our world is screwed upside down, and yet, Reimu is not out solving incidents?"
>"Yup. I'm just guessing she's too lazy to actually go out and solve things again."
>Bid Keine goodbye.
>You roll a 6. FLAWLESS FAREWELL!
>Keine is in awe of your superior goodbye-bidding skills.
>With that, you head to Hakurei Shrine where, sure enough, Reimu is just lazing around.
>Go reason with Reimu.
>You roll a 5. Now, in any other case, it would have been a success. However, to reason with Reimu successfully, you must roll at least a 7.
>Since you only have a 6-sided die, you have no idea how you are going to manage something like that.
>"Why should I?" Reimu moans. "You don't even have any food to reward me with if I succeed."
>"But aren't you annoyed at having to roll to do anything not related to your powers?"
>"Oh, sure," Reimu waves her hand carelessly. "But now I just fly out of reality to do stuff, so I don't have to use dice!"
>Give up in annoyance to Reimu's laziness, and then go to find HurrYukari. She is the Youkai of Borders, and should be able to manipulate some borders to fix everything.
>You are way past giving up. You are beyond the border of giving up.You have decided that Yukari would be a better help.
>"Where was she again?"
>"How should I know?" Reimu asks crossly.
>Force an answer out of Reimu. Knowing her weakness to heat, use it to your advantage while getting an answer out of her.
>You roll a 4. Again, Reimu has much higher standards in dice rolls than everyone else does. You would have needed a 6 to beat her like that.
>She just floats out of reality, and the shrine isn't even affected by your flames. She must have been reinforcing it lately.
>Reimu sighs, and then gives you some pointers anyway.
>"Just keep going towards the border and you'll find it eventually. Good luck getting anything out of her. It's winter, so she'll be hibernating, and you don't want to disturb a sleeping Yukari. I think that might be a proverb or something."
-
>Well what if Tewi rolls to support Mokou's rolls? :V
-
Rika
> Supplies are low, so go get them yourself.
> Hop in a tank, of course. Let the die decide which one.
> To Kourindou and beyond!
Mokou
> Make a short detour to abduct Hina.
Satori
> Send Orin and UnyuUtsuho out to investigate.
> Scan the area for hidden Koishis.
-
> Satori: Consider joining too. Not every day you can justify LARPing dungeons and dragons in public.
-
Mokou
>Well what if Tewi rolls to support Mokou's rolls? :V
>You're sure that Tewi might be able to find a loophole in the rules. However, the problem there is getting her to support someone else's rolls.
>Even Kaguya couldn't get Tewi to do that. That rascally rabbit...
> Make a short detour to abduct Hina.
>Come to think of it, there's a misfortune goddess somewhere on Youkai Mountain, isn't there? Maybe she can help your rolls...
>You decide to go to Youkai Mountain to abduct a goddess.
>You roll a 4 for getting there, which is pretty good considering you've never actually gone there before.
>After wandering around the open wilderness of Gensokyo, you reach Youkai Mountain. It's goddess kidnapping time!
>Hina shivers. She feels like she should get away from Youkai Mountain as quickly as she can.
>Now... where is Hina's shrine-house-thing anyway?
Rika
> Supplies are low, so go get them yourself.
> Hop in a tank, of course. Let the die decide which one.
> To Kourindou and beyond!
>Well, you might as well put this annoying die to use. You roll a 5, which you arbitrarily decide as choosing the Pop Star tank.
>Yeah, you decided you won't name it M.A.R.I.S.U.H. until you figure out something to go with the name.
>It's a good thing that your garage has direct access to the outskirts of the human village. You'll be at that strange secondhand store in no time!
>You roll a 1 and fail at steering the tank. You crash into several walls before getting through the exit. Your tank's health is reduced to 150/200.
>Well, at least you got outside.
Satori
> Send Orin and UnyuUtsuho out to investigate.
>You call for your trusty pets/errand runners. "Rin! Utsuho!"
>Rin lands in her cat form in front of you. That explains the catwalks that she was building around the palace.
>Ustuho doesn't arrive as elegantly. She barrels in, breaking a door in the process, then tumbles to a stop at your feet.
>"It's not my fault this time!" Ustuho whines. "I rolled a 2!" Well actually a 4, but my clumsiness penalty made it a 2! Satori doesn't need to know that, of course...
>Rin transforms into her normal form. "Yes, Satori?" There's no way that Utsuho rolls low numbers every time she answers Satori. It's an excuse, I'm sure.
>You sigh. "Well, I'm sending you two out to investigate this incident. Go find out who's behind all the dice, and stay away from any shrine maidens or witches."
>"Yay!" Ustuho cheers. I totally proved that I was competent enough last time! Soon, Satori's going to let me run simple errands!
>Rin nods. "All right then." How do incidents get solved? I always assumed that shrine maidens just beat up everyone they come across until they reach the culprit.
> Scan the area for hidden Koishis.
>You realize that Koishi could be lurking around the area, but when you look around, there are no Koishis to be found.
>Wait...
>An action like that would definitely use a dice roll. Why didn't you see the result?
>Then you see your die. You rolled a 5, and you realized something fishy was happening.
>Koishi pouts. "You would have noticed me, and I wanted to hide! Can't I sneak around sometimes?"
>"You do that most of the time already," you point out. "Now, are there any Chibi Koishis hiding around here, too?"
>That's another thing. You are one of the two last satoris in Gensokyo, but you don't count the chibi versions of everyone running around the place. That was the quantum geography youkai's fault, too.
>"No..." Koishi mumbles before wilting under your glare. "Yes." She raises her voice and calls out. "Sorry guys, she know we're here!"
>Utsuho jumps in shock as she realizes that several Chibi Koishis are clinging on to her. There is one riding in Rin's wheelbarrow, and one clinging on to your back.
> Satori: Consider joining too. Not every day you can justify LARPing dungeons and dragons in public.
>Well, since Utsuho and Rin are going out, and Koishi is likely going to follow them, you might as well go too. Make it a family outing or something.
>"After all, the oni can handle themselves, can't they?" you mutter to yourself. "Actually, don't answer that."
>You hear a crash from the direction of the underground city. Yup. Things are normal over there.
-
Rika
> Mechanized Apparatus Reveling In Stealing Useful Hexes. It's a bit of a stretch and there is something better for sure, but it fits the tank's purpose and, uh, "personality".
> Ouch, by the way.
> Repairs can be done at Kourindou, since we're shopping for junk anyway. Off we go!
> On the way to the shop, have M.A.R.I.S.U.H. the Pop Star Tank steal a random bullet pattern from a random fairy, then test it against the first available target!
Mokou
> Call Hina.
> Reconsider kidnapping her for the time being; try and persuade her to join you instead!
> ...with liberal application of fire, should the need arise.
Satori
> Ask Utsuho where she wants to go investigate first.
> Disregard her advice and head to the Moriya Shrine. The folks up there might be plotting something. As usual.
-
Mokou - Consider dangers of facing goddess of misfortune in luck-based combat.
-
Mokou - Consider dangers of facing goddess of misfortune in luck-based combat.
>Ignore this guy. There's no way a mortal youkai could beat you at combat..
-
>Mokou: Except that luck's involved now.
>Of course, doesn't she take misfortune from others? That's why we're looking for her, isn't it? To have our misfortune taken so we get better rolls?
>Ideally, we won't even need to fight her.
>Find Hina. If we fail the roll, try again.
-
>Ignore this guy. There's no way a mortal youkai could beat you at combat..
>Dying is painful, though.
>Try and re-activate reverse bishonen trap charm on Hina once engaged!
-
Rika and Satori
> Break the fourth wall
> Get the attention of other players
-
> Rika - Give description of Pop Star tank's appearance.
> While at Rinnosuke's, attempt to outfit pop star tank with impractical amount of guns. (Or buy supplies, go home, and THEN outfit pop star with impractical amount of guns.)
-
Mokou
Mokou - Consider dangers of facing goddess of misfortune in luck-based combat.
>Well, you heard she's a goddess of misfortune, so it might not be good for you that everything is based on luck. Probably not.
>Ignore this guy. There's no way a mortal youkai could beat you at combat..
>But then again, you're immortal...
>Dying is painful, though.
>Yeah. You don't want to earn the ire of a misfortune goddess.
>Mokou: Except that luck's involved now.
>Of course, doesn't she take misfortune from others? That's why we're looking for her, isn't it? To have our misfortune taken so we get better rolls?
>Ideally, we won't even need to fight her.
>Find Hina. If we fail the roll, try again.
>With that in mind, you walk up in the general direction of where you think Hina's place of residence would be. You roll a 1, and that naturally means you fail horribly.
>So horribly, in fact, that your die refuses to be rolled again.
>You are now lost within the Forest of Magic. However, all is not lost! Apparently, Hina was returning to Youkai Mountain through the Forest of Magic.
>Not wanting to waste a chance, you get Hina's attention. C'mon, dice, favorable outcome, favorable outcome!
>Try and re-activate reverse bishonen trap charm on Hina once engaged!
>You roll a 2. Well, (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=950725) at least it's better than complete failure.
Mokou is now chibi-fied for the next few rolls!
>"Oh, my," Hina says after noticing you, "Are you lost, too?"
>She picks you up easily.
Satori
> Ask Utsuho where she wants to go investigate first.
>Ustuho raises her hand. "Ooh! I know! We should go to Castle Scarlet! They have boiled eggs!" Eggs~!
> Disregard her advice and head to the Moriya Shrine. The folks up there might be plotting something. As usual.
>As expected, Utsuho's advice gets you nowhere. You decide to go to the Moriya Shrine in case those irritating gods are plotting something again.
>You know your way around the underground city well enough, and Koishi guides you, Utsuho, and Rin to the entrance.
>You roll the die in advance to see if you will be able to find your way to the Moriya Shrine. Since you rolled a 2, you decide to not go to the Moriya Shrine just yet.
>That's when you realize that you aren't using your d20.
>There's only one person who can steal something right under your nose without you noticing.
>"Koishi," you growl.
>"But I like this die! It speaks to me!" Koishi answers defensively.
>...You're not going to get it back from her any time soon. Is there some place that might have another d20?
Rika
> Rika - Give description of Pop Star tank's appearance.
>Why would you need to describe it? You already know it's a yellow star-shaped tank that looks vaguely cartoonish!
> Mechanized Apparatus Reveling In Stealing Useful Hexes. It's a bit of a stretch and there is something better for sure, but it fits the tank's purpose and, uh, "personality".
> Ouch, by the way.
>Yes, that acronym would do quite nicely. It's a bit of a mouthful to say, though. You'll just refer to it colloquially as the Pop Star tank.
>Those crashes certainly jumbled things around in here. You almost fell into your Trans-dimensional Scientific Material Storage!
>It's currently full of wrenches. You have no idea what inspired you to get all those wrenches, but now that you have them, there's no way to get rid of 'em.
> Repairs can be done at Kourindou, since we're shopping for junk anyway. Off we go!
> On the way to the shop, have M.A.R.I.S.U.H. the Pop Star Tank steal a random bullet pattern from a random fairy, then test it against the first available target!
>Ah, yes. You remember now. Those wrenches are universal. You can use them to repair anything and everything, so it's convenient to have a couple or a thousand whenever you need them.
>You think of stealing a fairy's spellcard, but most fairies don't have spellcards.
>However, you never know. You might get lucky. You roll a 3 and copy a nearby fairy (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=936431)'s active spellcard.
>You get hit by stray bullets, too. Pop Star's health is reduced to 125/200.
>Judging by your console screen, the spellcard that Pop Star can now use is called Mimicked Spell 'Agressive Light'
>Now to find a target to test it on!
>Rolling a 4, you happen across a book-reading bird youkai. (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=867403) She'll do nicely.
>You pop out of the tank's hatch to announce your spellcard. "Mimicked Spell 'Agressive Light'!"
>The bird youkai is understandably surprised. You attacked her out of nowhere, after all.
>She fumbles around as the bullets fly towards her, and manages to announce a spellcard before having to start dodging. "Book Inspired 'Disc-shaped World'!"
>Great. She knows a spellcard too. As long as you don't critically fail, your tank should still stay in one piece.
>You roll a 2. It's not a critical failure, but still a big one. You barely beat the youkai, with your tank finishing the battle at 25/200 health. A couple of stray shots could demolish it in this state.
>Since you didn't perfect the tank before going for this joyride, your tank doesn't even save the fairy's spellcard. You were too busy dodging to analyze the bird youkai's spellcard, so you're left with no spellcards and a severely-damaged tank.
>You really hope that secondhand shop is nearby.
Rika and Satori
> Break the fourth wall
> Get the attention of other players
All right, but just this once. We can't have the characters complain about me all the time!
>Rika pops out the hatch of her tank. "What was up with that series of rolls? You can't expect me to believe you actually rolled all those bad numbers in a row!"
That's the nature of randomness! I can't control it, I just have to build the story around it!
>Satori raises an eyebrow. "What story?"
Um... I'll get back to you on that. I'll figure something out eventually! Besides, I've already gotten the antagonist down! I think.
>Satori frowns. "I can read your mind. You're seriously planning for the bad guy to be-"
SHH! Don't spoil it for the players!
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Mokou: Burn Kaguya's Hair, then shout LEROOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!
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>Rika: Put M.A.R.I.S.U.H. in park and enter the store, loudly declaring your presence and boisterously demanding what you came there for.
-
> Rika - Buy supplies to reinforce tank armor and reinforce tank armor.
> Park tank inside store.
> Satori - If we want another 20-sided dice, we'll need to find roleplayers.
> Look for people wearing wizard clothes or battle armor.
> Would Kaguya or Akyu have bigger dice?
> Mokou - Attempt to at least look intimidating enough that Hina no longer has the urge to pick you up.
> Fail miserably at this.
> Ask Hina for help with dice.
-
Rika
> Chat with the shopkeeper. Assess how much he's been affected by the dice-rolling incident.
> Browse the shop for unusual materials and acquire some. FOR SCIENCE!
> Resupply!
> Activate Plot Armor subsystem on M.A.R.I.S.U.H. the Pop Star Tank.
> ... MtPST for short :V
> Look for loaded dice. Make sure not to pick them up.
> Roll to apologize to the bird youkai if she shows up.
Mokotan~
> Burn with moe-moe passion!
> Think about more Engrish stuff.
> Assess how much Hina's been affected by the dice-rolling incident.
> Duh, I should stop repeating myself. :V
> Tag along with Hina and see where she leads us.
> Hope it won't be Eientei.
Satori
> Have Orin snatch a d20 from Sanae.
> Idly chat with the Moriya gang. Make sure to mention D&D at some point.
> Extract useful information, the Satori way!
> Keep an eye out for Koishi. She might get silly ideas about Sanae and Utsuho (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v2wfI7u8g0).
Okuu
> Be hungry.
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Utsuho
> Be hungry.
>You cannot control Utsuho! She isn't one of the main characters!
>Besides, she's already hungry.
Mokou
Mokou: Burn Kaguya's Hair, then shout LEROOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!
>You roll a 3. Disregarding the fact that Kaguya is nowhere near where you are, you shoot a fireball in what you think is Kaguya's general direction.
>It dies out halfway there, but if it hadn't, it would've burnt Kaguya's hair.
>You won't shout that battle cry, though. That would be stupid.
>Hina carries you on her shoulders.
> Mokou - Attempt to at least look intimidating enough that Hina no longer has the urge to pick you up.
>You roll a 3, but chibis automatically get a -6 in regards to intimidation.
>It backfires miserably. "You're so cute~!" Hina squeals, hugging you.
> Fail miserably at this.
> Ask Hina for help with dice.
>Well, you roll a 6 in regards to failing, so good job? Your attempt at intimidation backfires so horribly that you are now stuck in chibi mode for a few more rolls.
>"Help me, Hina!" you plead.
>Hina relents and sets you down. "I don't see how I can help you with dice, though."
>"But you take away misfortune," you point out, "so can't you help me get better rolls?"
>"I don't know. I've never tried."
> Burn with moe-moe passion!
> Think about more Engrish stuff.
> Assess how much Hina's been affected by the dice-rolling incident.
> Duh, I should stop repeating myself. :V
> Tag along with Hina and see where she leads us.
> Hope it won't be Eientei.
>You roll a 5, and set your chibi self on decorative fire. Success, you think?
>You don't know when you started thinking about engrish stuff, but apparently now you can't stop.
>"Hina, how do these dice rules affect you?"
>Hina starts walking, and you tag along. "Just as much as anyone else. I don't get affected by misfortune I collect unless it's a very large amount."
>"Where are we going, anyway?" you ask.
>Hina shrugs. "I have no idea. I just got lost in the Forest of Magic all of a sudden, and now I can't find my way anywhere. It's practically a maze."
Satori
>You roll a 6, and decide to start walking to the Moriya Shrine while your luck lasts.
> Satori - If we want another 20-sided dice, we'll need to find roleplayers.
> Look for people wearing wizard clothes or battle armor.
> Would Kaguya or Akyu have bigger dice?
>Roleplayers would probably have some d20s to spare, but...
>Everyone in Gensokyo wears silly clothes. You think Yukari implemented it as a dress code.
>Hey, there's someone in a witch costume! Oh wait, it's just Marisa.
>Utsuho's stomach rumbles.
>Analyzing the situation, you infer that everyone has the same 6-sided dice, unless they pick up a d20 or something. You expect that power level is independent from dice size.
>"Satori, I'm hungryyy," Utsuho whines. I want eggs...
>"Quiet, Utsuho," you admonish her, "You can get food once we get to the shrine."
> Have Orin snatch a d20 from Sanae.
> Idly chat with the Moriya gang. Make sure to mention D&D at some point.
> Extract useful information, the Satori way!
> Keep an eye out for Koishi. She might get silly ideas about Sanae and Utsuho (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v2wfI7u8g0).
>Now that you've arrived at the Moriya Shrine (without incident. The guard tengus must be off duty), you tell Rin to get to work and scrounge around for another d20.
>"Yes ma'am!" Rin salutes. But if I find 2, I'm keeping one of 'em.
>Kanako notices you. "Ah, the satori and her troupe. Do you need divine help on a matter?" I hope she's not too upset about the whole nuclear fusion goddess thing...
>Suwako hops down into Kanako's lap, surprising the goddess. "Stop being so formal, Kanako! So, whaddaya want?" I thought she had a sister...
>"I was just wondering whether you guys are behind this incident. All this dice rolling is getting annoying. I would say it resembles some outside world game. I believe it was called Dungeons and Dragons..."
>Sanae pops out from inside the shrine. "Oh man! D&D! I played that all the time! I'm sure I still have a couple of those funny dice somewhere in my room..." Man, that was silly, looking back on it.
>Rin is sneaking around in cat form behind Sanae. You and her make eye contact, then she bounds off to Sanae's room to pilfer dice.
>"So, are you guys behind this incident?" you ask.
>"No," Kanako declares. "We were discussing possibly sending out Sanae to resolve it, actually." We weren't, but we gotta look like we're keeping active so we can get more faith!
>"But really," Suwako yawns, "this incident is starting to become a bother. I'm surprised Reimu hasn't started beating people up." I really hope that I didn't jinx that. The last thing we need is Reimu and her chibi army around here again.
>Ustuho, who was wandering shrine grounds, points up in the sky. "Hey, that looks sorta like Reimu! Hi, Reimu!" she waves. "Ooh! she even brought the Chibi Reimus with her!" I hope she has some eggs for me!
>"That's not a good thing!" Kanako yells. "Take cover!" I really hope she doesn't start throwing homing amulets-oh wait there they are.
>Everyone dives under the nearest available cover as a rain of homing amulets comes down on the Moriya Shrine.
>You roll a 5. Successful cover finding! You hide under a table in the shrine.
>Around you, the others have varying degrees of success.
>Utsuho most likely rolled a 2. She's trying to hide under another table that's too small for her.
>Your table is getting cramped, and you think you know why.
>Examining your immediate surroundings, you confirm that Koishi is squeezing under the table with you. "Hi, sis~"
>You can't see into Koishi's mind, but she probably is thinking something weird about everyone at any given time.
Rika
>Rika: Put M.A.R.I.S.U.H. in park and enter the store, loudly declaring your presence and boisterously demanding what you came there for.
> Park tank inside store.
>You park your tank in next to the store, then kick open the door. "The great and wonderful scientist Rika has arrived in this secondhand shop! Now, give me parts that I can repair my tank with!"
>Rinnosuke slams down the book he was reading. "Why doesn't anyone enter normally?" he yells.
> Rika - Buy supplies to reinforce tank armor and reinforce tank armor.
>The shopkeeper looks up from the book he was reading. "Metal stuff is over in that section," he tells you, pointing to a shelf that has all kinds of potential tank-repairing bits. "I'm Rinnosuke, by the way."
> Chat with the shopkeeper. Assess how much he's been affected by the dice-rolling incident.
> Browse the shop for unusual materials and acquire some. FOR SCIENCE!
> Resupply!
>You roll a 2, so nothing too interesting catches your eye.
> Look for loaded dice. Make sure not to pick them up.
> Roll to apologize to the bird youkai if she shows up.
>You find a loaded die, but roll a 4 and successfully avoid picking it up.
>The bird youkai is nowhere in sight. Must be nursing her wounds.
>Rinnosuke sighs. "This dice-rolling gimmick is becoming a bother. I end up failing to do simple tasks."
>"Really?" you ask while browsing the shelves. Crimson ore? For something that's supposed to be mythical, there sure is a lot of it here...
>"Like earlier today," Rinnosuke goes on. "I spilled tea all over my clothes because I rolled a 1."
>"Ah, so that's why you're wearing that ridiculous outfit," you mutter. Maybe I'll shoplift some while he isn't looking.
>"Hey! This is my regular outfit! I always have spares because people like wearing it for some reason."
>You end up deciding against stealing the crimson ore, and end up bringing it to the register along with your other purchases.
>"That'll be 1000 G, please." Rinnosuke calculates.
>That's when you realize you don't know if you brought your wallet in your TSMS with you. You hope you did, and...
>You roll a 4. You find your wallet after a minute of digging through your TSMS while Rinnosuke waits patiently and pay for the metal bits and crimson ore.
>"Thank you for shopping at Kourindou!" Rinnosuke waves at you as you leave. "Please come again! I would like more paying customers..."
> Activate Plot Armor subsystem on M.A.R.I.S.U.H. the Pop Star Tank.
> ... MtPST for short :V
>You roll a 3. It's not nearly enough to activate Plot Armor on your tank. After all, Plot Armor only works when the plot needs it to! Also, there's this little problem of there not being much of a plot to warrant plot armor.
>You decide to refer to your tank as MtPST in shorthand. You have no idea why.
>You roll a 4, pull out a couple of wrenches, and get to work on fixing your tank. After you repair it to full health, you have 2 metal bits left to spare.
>The crimson ore seems to have reinforced your tank a bit! You'll have to roll to see how much more max health your tank will have.
>5! Your tank's health is at 280/280.
-
I am pleased with my result.
riStao: Butcher your name.
Mokou: You must gather your party before venturing forth.
-
Rika
> Ponder if the new tank back at the lab can be completed with the leftover supplies.
> Go greet Nitori!
> Have MtPST copy her Optical Camouflage spell. Some degree of subtlety might give us the upper hand later on.
> Boast about MtPST's specs.
> Forget about subtlety!
> Ponder if we're ready to take on that annoying red-white Shrine Maiden yet again.
> Consider peaceful approaches. ALMOST ramming her with the tank, then having a nice discussion while keeping her at gunpoint is peaceful enough.
> Go after the annoying red-white Shrine Maiden!
> ARWSM for short. No, wait, she's got a proper name :V
Mokotan~
> Spin along with Hinarin!
> Casually bump into one of the resident magicians. Roll to see which one.
> Discuss the incident with said magician.
> Conquer said magician's KOKORO with your KYUUTO BIIMU!
> Be a good dojikko. Trip, fall and set something on fire!
Satori
> Shake Koishi off; have her play with that noisy raven for a while. There's hope Utsuho will shut up for a second.
> Be diplomatic.
> Propose a D&D session, using your house rules.
> If someone wants to play by their own rules, incorporate them in your ruleset. Conflicting rules are fine.
> Hope your trap to coax them into investigating the incident (having fun in the meantime) succeeds.
> If all else fails, counterattack with danmaku.
> Watch out for flying tanks.
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>Utsuho: Be hungry
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry
No don't do this, it'll only end badly.
>Satori: Burn Kaguya's Hair(somehow), since mokou failed.
>Rika: Roll to fail your roll. If you succeed, shout "LOL PARADOX!"
>Mokou: Burn Hina's Hair, then spin.
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>Utsuho: Be hungry
No don't do this, it'll only end badly.
>*sigh* Arguing among yourselves won't do anything. At the very least, do it about one of the controllable characters!
riStao: Butcher your name.
>Error: Command ParseeParser cannot decipher anagrams.
Satori
>Satori: Burn Kaguya's Hair(somehow), since mokou failed.
>You roll a 3. You fail completely, due to a lack of fire-based powers. Really, what did you expect?
>...who is this Kaguya person, anyway?
> Shake Koishi off; have her play with that noisy raven for a while. There's hope Utsuho will shut up for a second.
> Be diplomatic.
>The wave of homing amulets dies down and you shake your sister off. "Go play with Utsuho, Koishi."
>You roll a 5. "Whee!" she cheers, then tackles the cowering Utsuho.
>Kanako peeks out from under her cover. "Is she gone?" At least she didn't use the piercing Persuasion Needles.
>Suwako, who was hiding in her own hat, surveys the sky around the shrine. "Nope. She's preparing her persuasion needles now." Well, now we're doomed.
> Propose a D&D session, using your house rules.
> If someone wants to play by their own rules, incorporate them in your ruleset. Conflicting rules are fine.
> Hope your trap to coax them into investigating the incident (having fun in the meantime) succeeds.
>"I don't suppose you guys are up to playing a nice game of Dungeons and Dragons?" you propose to Kanako.
>She waves you off urgently. "Later! After that red-white stops beating us up!" Why now, of all times?
>You roll a 4 as a wave of persuasion needles fly towards the shrine. Your cover is moderately successful, and you only get hit a couple of times.
>"Kanako!" Reimu yells. "You're behind all this, aren't you?"
>"No, I'm not!" Kanako yells back. "Honestly!" Please stop shooting at us now!
>"Really?" Reimu flies down to the entrance of the Moriya Shrine and glares at the goddess. I mean, I have no evidence, but I needed an excuse to go beat someone up, and maybe I'm right!
>Utsuho's stomach rumbles. "I'm still hungry, Satori!" she whines.
>You can't help but feel like you're forgetting someone.
> If all else fails, counterattack with danmaku.
> Watch out for flying tanks.
>Brushing your misgiving aside, you ask Kanako. "So, are you going to send Sanae to solve this incident?"
>She sighs. "Well now that Reimu's on the job, we can't just be lazing around, can we?" I'm sure Sanae is going to have her competitive spirit, too.
>"Right you are, Kanako!" Sanae announces after popping up behind Kanako. "I'll start solving this incident right away!" For the faith of the people!
>She flies off. Reimu watches her leave, and then turns to Kanako. "Enthusiastic one, ain't she?" I've got time to spare before heading off to my next suspect.
>"Say," Koishi points out. "Does anyone feel like we're about to be under attack again?"
Rika
>Rika: Roll to fail your roll. If you succeed, shout "LOL PARADOX!"
>out of curiosity, you try rolling to fail a roll. You roll a 2... which means...
>You failed to fail, so you succeed. You subsequently succeed at nothing. That makes your head hurt.
> Ponder if the new tank back at the lab can be completed with the leftover supplies.
>You have no leftover supplies, but you wonder why you haven't gone to Kourindou before now. After all, it's got all the miscellaneous metal bits you need!
> Go greet Nitori!
> Have MtPST copy her Optical Camouflage spell. Some degree of subtlety might give us the upper hand later on.
> Boast about MtPST's specs.
>You roll a 2, and fail to greet anyone named Nitori or cop a spellcard of hers. Who is this Nitori and why did her name pop into your head?
>Still, you decide to loudly declare MtPST's specs to anyone within earshot. It is a miracle of science, after all!
>Advanced tracking technology captures the ambient magic of a spellcard, then analyzes it to create a near-perfect replica that can later be used once.
>Well, you're hoping one day it'll be able to reuse spellcards, but for now its spellcard scanning capabilities allow you to copy a spellcard after 10 seconds of being within its range.
>Of course, this means it's vulnerable any time it's copying a spellcard, but you haven't figured out all the quirks yet. Let's see someone else try to make something else as awesome as this!
>You hear appreciative clapping coming from next to you, but when you turn around, you see nothing there.
>"Oh, I must have left my optical camouflage on," a voice says. "Hold on..."
>A blue-haired girl winks into existence, setting off all your internal alarms at once. Who is she? How does her invisibility work? Is she also a scientist?
>"Nice to meet you," the girl says, holding out her hand. "I'm Nitori Kawashiro, the best kappa engineer this side of the Hakurei Border. And you are?"
>You shake her hand. "Rika. I'm a scientist."
>Overhead, you see a familiar red-white shrine maiden flying towards the mountain in the distance, being followed by a... cloud of miniature red-white shrine maidens?
>Weird.
> Forget about subtlety!
> Ponder if we're ready to take on that annoying red-white Shrine Maiden yet again.
> Consider peaceful approaches. ALMOST ramming her with the tank, then having a nice discussion while keeping her at gunpoint is peaceful enough.
> Go after the annoying red-white Shrine Maiden!
> ARWSM for short. No, wait, she's got a proper name :V
>You roll a 4. "What is subtlety, again?"
>"It's not shooting at people on sight, I think," Nitori replies. "By the way, I know a youkai who can copy spellcards from another person's memories. Weird, right?"
>"Yes, yes. Weird indeed." You reply to her only half-aware, since a plan to take revenge on Reimu is formulating in your mind. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go attack that shrine maiden."
>"Well, good luck with that!" Nitori smiles. You hop into your tank and take off after Reimu!
>On the way there, you nearly run into another flying shrine maiden. What is up with all those flying shrine maidens? Is it migration season or something?
Mokou
> Spin along with Hinarin!
>Mokou: Burn Hina's Hair, then spin.
>You're considering burning Hina's hair, but you doubt you can achieve that in chibi state. Ah well, you roll a 2, and end up only setting yourself on decorative fire as you spin.
> Casually bump into one of the resident magicians. Roll to see which one.
> Discuss the incident with said magician.
> Conquer said magician's KOKORO with your KYUUTO BIIMU!
>You roll a 2, and run into the Forest of Magic's other resident magician, Alice Margatroid. She, naturally, is accompanied by a couple of dolls.
>"Well, you're a lot smaller than when I last saw you," she quips.
>"I blame the dice."
>"Irritating, isn't it? Turns out that dolls don't need to roll dice to do anything, though, so my life hasn't changed much. In fact, this is good practice."
Mokou: You must gather your party before venturing forth.
>You have the sudden idea to compel Alice into helping you find the culprit. Unfortunately, as a chibi, your options are limited.
>You roll a 4, and fire off a passable KAWAII SPAAKU at Alice, who is struggling not to squeal at your cuteness.
>One more act of moe should do it, you decide.
> Be a good dojikko. Trip, fall and set something on fire!
>You roll a 5 and walk towards Alice carefully, then trip fantastically and cutely. As a reflex, you try to light the nearest thing on fire, but only succeed at setting yourself on decorative fire. Again.
>All this cuteness is not helping you recover from being chibi-fied. At this rate, you'll never get back to normal.
Seriously, Mokou is going to be stuck as a chibi permanently if this keeps up.
>Alice squeals at your cuteness, and starts hugging you as soon as your decorative fire dies out.
>You seize the moment. "So, you'll help us find who's responsible, right?"
>"Sure, I guess."
>"Well, then can you stop hugging me and put me down?"
>"No."
-
>Sitaor: Badly mess up the spelling of your name.
>Rika: Roll to fail to stand on your head.
>Mokou: Roll to get outta Chibi form.
-
>Mokou: Roll to not fail at ending our non-success at not unwantedly failing to not return to a state not un-desired.
-
Rika
> Go after the blue-white Shrine Maiden.
> BWSM for shortDUH. Ponder about your addiction to acronyms.
> Engage peacefully. For real, this time. We hold no grudges against her. Yet.
> Let the blue-white Shrine Maiden hitch a ride on MtPST.
> Add the blue-white to your party! Go exterminate youkai together!
> Do not forget about exterminating the red-white, too.
> Watch out for pink-haired lolis.
Mokotan~
> Burn! Burn! Burn your chibi form! Become badass again!
> If successful, try your KYUUTO BIIMU on Alice. Make a wide grin if the BIIMU fails.
> Information gathering time! Lead your party to the Hieda Residence.
> Bump into Keine on the way there and bring her along.
> Ask Akyuu about the incident.
> Are there recorded precedents in Gensokyo's history? ROLL TO FIND OUT!
Satori
> Koishi is right. Utsuho might flip out any moment!
> Ask Kanako and Suwako for eggs.
> Call Orin back and check if she's found Sanae's d20. Pocket it. Make sure nobody's watching.
> Use Orin's cartwheel as a saucepan and boil some eggs for Utsuho.
> Offer Kanako and Suwako your assistance in sorting out the incident in exchange for the eggs.
> Keep Koishi away from Suwako's hat.
> Keep watching out for flying tanks. Realize this is what Koishi meant before.
> If there is a tank in sight, engage it. Use a diplomatic approach. Hope it works this time.
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>Utsuho: Be hungry
>Satori: Pray that Orin grabbed a d100. Or don't, if you think that would blow your cover.
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry
>I'm repeatedly slamming my head on the desk right now. You still can't control Utsuho. What do you think this is, Off the Rails 1?
>Sitaor: Badly mess up the spelling of your name.
>The command Parsee is terrible at anagrams. In fact, I would say that she's JEALOUS of your skills!
>*Rimshot*
Mokou
>Mokou: Roll to not fail at ending our non-success at not unwantedly failing to not return to a state not un-desired.
>You attempt to confuse the dice system into bending to your will. It does not work.
>Meanwhile, a poor guy sits in his room with several stacks of scratch paper as he tries to figure out what the heck that command meant.
>Mokou: Roll to get outta Chibi form.
> Burn! Burn! Burn your chibi form! Become badass again!
>You roll a 4. Success! (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=953367) Your decorative fire burns off your chibiness! It's good to be back!
> Burn! Burn! Burn your chibi form! Become badass again!
> If successful, try your KYUUTO BIIMU on Alice. Make a wide grin if the BIIMU fails.
>Just to make sure, you attempt a KYUUTO BIIMU on Alice. Unfortunately for you, you roll a 6.
>*poof* (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=463873)
>Dangit.
>"Well, that was certainly interesting," Alice observes after your KYUUTO BIIMU wears off.
> Information gathering time! Lead your party to the Hieda Residence.
> Bump into Keine on the way there and bring her along.
>You can't expect a Keine encounter out of nowhere! You'll have to roll for that.
>You roll a 2. Not quite what you expected. (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=901565)
>Ah well. You bring the sukusuku hakutaku along for the ride. You two, in fact, make for a rather cute (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=148180) pair.
> Ask Akyuu about the incident.
> Are there recorded precedents in Gensokyo's history? ROLL TO FIND OUT!
>Well, since you know your way around the human village well enough to not have to rely on dice, you reach Akyuu's house with ease.
>"Oh. Well, you certainly are gathering some strange company, Mokou." Akyuu grins. "I've seen the puppeteer before, but who's the spinning one?"
>Hina stops spinning long enough to curtsy to Akyuu. "Hina Kagiyama, goddess of misfortune at your service."
>"Strange company indeed..." Akyuu muses. "Well, if it's past history you want to ask about, I'm not sure if there are record of such an incident happening before. Let me check the archives for it..."
>Wishing for luck, you roll a 6.
>"Ah ha!" Akyuu announces triumphantly. "Here it is! The Strange Coin-Flipping Incident. That's close right? Funnily enough, there's not much information about it, other than the fact that the culprit was using a forbidden grimoire to create the effects."
>Well, now you have somewhere to start. There are magic books all over Gensokyo, and one of them's got to be the reason behind this.
Rika
> Go after the blue-white Shrine Maiden.
> BWSM for shortDUH. Ponder about your addiction to acronyms.
> Engage peacefully. For real, this time. We hold no grudges against her. Yet.
>There's no way you can catch up with such a fast shrine maiden. Why do all the shrine maidens move so fast, anyway?
>Wait, she's turning around. Lucky you. You've definitely caught her attention now.
>She knocks on the tank hatch. You think she's saying something but it's all just muffled noise from inside the tank.
>You open the hatch and pop out. "Hello! I haven't seen you around here before!"
>"Wow! Is that really a tank? It looks so cool! Does it work? How is it powered? Can you actually use it in spellcard battles?"
>Well, she's filled with questions, certainly. You can't get a word in edgewise.
>"Wait! I gotta show Kanako this! A cool tank made by a resident of Gensokyo! The kappa don't build stuff like this. I have no idea why, though."
>That's when you feel the tank getting lifted up. For a moment you think she's lifting the tank with brute force, but then you realize she's lifting it up with a current of wind.
>Gensokyo is full of weirdos.
>Wait, is she going to...?
>She sends the tank flying towards the mountain. Today is going to be a long day.
>"I'll be right behind you!" the shrine maiden calls. Of course, you have other things on your mind.
>Such as the shrine that you are rapidly approaching. You really hope you aren't asked to pay for the damages.
> Add the blue-white to your party! Go exterminate youkai together!
> Do not forget about exterminating the red-white, too.
> Watch out for pink-haired lolis.
>You mentally add her to your party, although it doesn't mean anything.
>Wait, is that some sort of little pink-haired kid you're hurtling towards?
SitaorSatori
> Koishi is right. Utsuho might flip out any moment!
> Ask Kanako and Suwako for eggs.
>"Eggssss~" Utsuho moans. It's no use looking into her head. If she's talking about eggs, she's thinking about eggs.
>"Say, do you have any eggs?" you ask Kanako. "I think we need to cook some before Utsuho goes nuclear."
>"Hold on," Suwako says. She rummages in her hat. "I'm sure I have some in here somewhere."
>She pulls out a sleeping red-haired lady (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=929960) and drops her on the ground next to the hat.
>"Huh. That wasn't in there the last time I checked," Suwako mutters nonchalantly. "Ah. Here's some eggs."
>She tosses two eggs to you. You roll a 4, catching them right before they crack on the ground.
> Call Orin back and check if she's found Sanae's d20. Pocket it. Make sure nobody's watching.
> Use Orin's cartwheel as a saucepan and boil some eggs for Utsuho.
>Satori: Pray that Orin grabbed a d100. Or don't, if you think that would blow your cover.
>"Rin!" you call. She's rummaged around Sanae's room long enough, you expect.
>The kasha in question leaps down from her hiding place on the top of a shelf and lands in your lap. She snuggles you, then palms you a d20.
>You have no idea, but you were vaguely expecting something bigger. A d100, perhaps. Strange.
>You roll your regular 6-sided die one last time for stealth. It's a 3, which means that nobody but Rin and probably Koishi has noticed it.
>She then poofs back into human form. "I take it that you want me to cook some eggs for Utsuho?"
>You hand the eggs to her. "Yup. Do it fast; Utsuho's getting desperate." You point at the raven, who is currently gnawing on the table.
>Rin sighs. "All right then." She grabs Utsuho's hand, then leads the half-conscious bird into another room. "C'mon, Utsuho, I'll cook up a couple of eggs for you,"
> Offer Kanako and Suwako your assistance in sorting out the incident in exchange for the eggs.
> Keep Koishi away from Suwako's hat.
>"Wait, you're really going to help us in exchange for eggs?" Kanako asks incredulously.
>"Not just a couple of eggs. A lifetime's supply on command. Utsuho gets hungry down in the reactor, after all." You think about the possible deal. "Is it possible for them to be pre-boiled for convenience?"
>"Um..."
>That's when you realize that Koishi is nowhere to be seen. You think you have a good idea of where she is, though.
>You walk over to Suwako's upturned hat and yell into it. "Koishi! What did I tell you about playing in extradimensional storage spaces?"
>"But it's so fun!" Koishi's voice drifts up to you. It is followed by her upper body. "Besides, I've hardly ran into any black holes in there!"
>You sigh. "It's the principle of the thing, Koishi."
> Keep watching out for flying tanks. Realize this is what Koishi meant before.
> If there is a tank in sight, engage it. Use a diplomatic approach. Hope it works this time.
>You realize that Koishi is possibly influencing your subconscious thoughts. You have no idea why you would a tank to come barging into the shrine, or even what a tank would be doing in Gensokyo.
>Just to be sure, you check outside.
>There is a tank hurtling towards you. This is perhaps one of the most surreal trips to the surface that you've had. Of course, you don't visit the surface much, but still...
>Whoever's in the tank is thinking of something along the lines of Wait, is that some sort of little pink-haired kid I'm hurtling towards?
>You think that now is not the time for the diplomatic approach as much as it is the time to GET AWAY FROM THE TANK'S COLLISION COURSE!
>Your d20 rolls a 10, which means that you execute a hasty dive-roll that leaves you scratched all over, but it's still better than being in the way of a falling tank.
-
>You attempt to confuse the dice system into bending to your will. It does not work.
>Meanwhile, a poor guy sits in his room with several stacks of scratch paper as he tries to figure out what the heck that command meant.
It meant 'roll to return to normal'.
-
Satori: Successfully solve the following anagram: sUtohu ieRuij.
Mokou: Say "You must gather your party before venturing forth."
Rika: Remark on how you're a PC-98 character.
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Mokou: Go find Motoori. Ask if she lent out anything prior to the incident starting.
-
> Rika - Land.
> Check damage to tank.
> Unbreak any broken bones.
> Shoot that shrine maiden on sight.
> Be extremely annoyed at shrine maiden.
> Mokou - Should probably start with Patchouli. She'd know a lot about grimoures.
> Satori - Once Sanae shows up, read her mind to figure out why she thought hurling a tank at her own home was a good idea.
> Read mind of girl in tank.
-
Mokou
> Stop being chibi.
> Stare at Alice's grimoire.
> Watch Alice's reaction.
> Smile. Shrug it all off as a joke.
> Go visit Kosuzu's store.
> Be unaffected by Kosuzu's cuteness.
> Make sure Kosuzu is unaffected by the Sukusuku Hakutaku's cuteness.
> Ask Kosuzu about the Coin-Flipping Incident and the grimoire.
> Flip a coin for no reason. Roll for the outcome.
> Borrow two random grimoires.
> Mokou - Should probably start with Patchouli. She'd know a lot about grimoures.
... and then this.
Rika
> Attempt a soft landing. Possibly outside the shrine.
> Don't let this minor setback get at you! Hop out of MtPST, greet the residents and have a nice discussion about SCIENCE!
> Have an enthusiastic talk about physics with the big Hell raven with the cape!
> BHRWaCDANGIT!
> Prevent the pink-haired loli from interrupting your discussions. You'll get back to her later, SCIENCE always comes first!
> Hunger check.
> Pet the cat youkai.
> Ignore the blue-white Shrine Maiden.
I'll edit this post later with some commands for Satori, I'm kind of busy at the moment :V
Satori
> Assess damage to self.
> Read Sanae's mind.
> Make a Recollection Spell Card with the incoherent barrage of thoughts in Sanae's mind. Who knows, it might come in handy.
> Make the kid with the tank shut the hell up.
> Be a true leader.
> Attempt to start a calm, serious conversation with everyone on the premises (including Komachi) in order to plan our next actions.
> Disregard Utsuho's advice.
> Roll the die to choose our next destination!
> Round and round and round it goes / Where it points, nobody knows. Who thought about this, again?
-
>Mokou: Continue gathering your party. You need to have a total of six people before venturing forth. Including yourself.
>Satori: You must gather your party before venturing forth.(DON'T FORGET OKUU AND ORIN!)
>Rika: You must gather your party before venturing forth.
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Utsuho is already hungry, birdbrain!
Rika
> Rika - Land.
> Check damage to tank.
> Attempt a soft landing. Possibly outside the shrine.
> Don't let this minor setback get at you! Hop out of MtPST, greet the residents and have a nice discussion about SCIENCE!
>You have two choices. You could either let your tank crash into the shrine with a softer landing, or be courteous to the residents of the shrine and stop before you hit the shrine in exchange for a harder landing.
>No guesses as to which one you chose. You decide to destroy that shrine maiden's shrine in a petty attempt to get revenge.
>And lucky for you, you rolled a 6. Flawless landing for you! No broken bones or damage to your tank! The shrine is not so lucky. You think you broke a wall or something.
>Now, sitting in your tank will get you nowhere. You hop out and take stock of the disaster site.
>Well, could be better, could be worse.
> Have an enthusiastic talk about physics with the big Hell raven with the cape!
> BHRWaCDANGIT!
>You're starting to think that the reason you compulsivly make acronyms is that nobody ever tells you names.
>You don't know why you'd talk physics with the raven girl. She looks like a birdbrain, after all.
>"Well, that raven with the space cape is Utsuho Reiuji, the cat with a wheelbarrow next to her feeding her eggs is Rin Kaenbyou, and that girl clinging on to your back is my sister, Koishi Komeiji. I'm Satori. Nice to meet you."
> Prevent the pink-haired loli from interrupting your discussions. You'll get back to her later, SCIENCE always comes first!
> Hunger check.
>You don't want to talk with any three-eyed youkai! There is science to be done!
>"Well, if it's science you're looking for, go consult Kanako or Suwako. Suwako's the one with the weird hat with googly eyes." The pink-haired youkai thinks for a moment and then adds, "I'm a satori. It's my species too. Oh and Utsuho is a wiz at nuclear physics,so you might want to talk science with her."
>You don't seem to be ignoring Satori very effectively.
>"I read minds. What did you expect?"
>You are currently not too hungry, but you feel strangely heavier than usual.
>"Get off the crazy scientist, Koishi."
>"You never let me have any fun," Koishi pouts from behind you. When did she get there?
> Pet the cat youkai.
>Cat. That's a cat. Cats are meant to be petted. You must pet the cat.
>Well, cat-youkai, but your point still stands. You attempt to pet her, but she swats your hand away. "No petting until I have decided if you are either too much or too little of a threat to be stopped."
>> Shoot that shrine maiden on sight.
> Be extremely annoyed at shrine maiden.
>You have no spellcard copied! What would you shoot her with?
>"Hey!" a familiar voice shouts. "Scientist lady! I forgot to tell you my name! It's Sanae! Sanae Kochiya!"
> Ignore the blue-white Shrine Maiden.
>You decide to ignore her most certainly not out of petty spite.
>Your roll of 2 does not help you with this endeavor. You decide that you must confront her sooner or later, so it's a good idea to get it out of the way now.
Rika: Remark on how you're a PC-98 character.
>Rika: You must gather your party before venturing forth.
>You have no idea what a PC-98 is, or wwhy you would be classified as a PC-98 character.
>Satori glares at her sister. "Koishi, are you planting weird ideas in people's heads again?"
Mokou
>Mokou: Continue gathering your party. You need to have a total of six people before venturing forth. Including yourself.
>You have no reason why you should need an arbitrary headcount of 6. You can gather as many people as you like!
>Of course, you have nobody else to gather, anyway. Your party consists of you, the sukusuku hakutaku, Hina, and Alice (and her dolls).
> Stop being chibi.
>Rolled a 6. Fantastic success! (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=938341)
> Stare at Alice's grimoire.
> Watch Alice's reaction.
> Smile. Shrug it all off as a joke.
>You wonder why Alice always carries that locked book around. Is that the grimoire behind all this?
>Alice senses you doing that somehow. She gives a proper cold glare (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=928756) in retaliation.
>"It was just a joke," you explain defensively.
>Mokou: Go find Motoori. Ask if she lent out anything prior to the incident starting.
>Ah, yes. That girl who's been collecting forbidden books lately. Kosuzu may know something about a book that could do something like this.
> Go visit Kosuzu's store.
> Be unaffected by Kosuzu's cuteness.
> Make sure Kosuzu is unaffected by the Sukusuku Hakutaku's cuteness.
>You know your way around the small village almost by heart. Kosuzu's book store is immediately recognizable because of its advertising.
The only bookstore to collect all those weird forbidden books that nobody's supposed to read!
>You remember seeing Kosuzu when she was younger, and her book-collecting is doing well.
>You have to roll to avoid cuteness, though. 2. You fail at avoiding Kosuzu's cuteness, but at least you weren't physically affected by it.
>Kosuzu does a better job of avoiding the sukusuku hakutaku cuteness.
> Ask Kosuzu about the Coin-Flipping Incident and the grimoire.
> Flip a coin for no reason. Roll for the outcome.
> Borrow two random grimoires.
>"The Coin-Flipping incident? It was before my time, but I've read accounts of it. I can't find the grimoire responsible, though. I do have a good idea where it could be, though."
>"Really?" you ask.
>"Well, if it's not here, then it's at one of the magician's homes. Nobody else has reason to keep a grimoire."
>Alice speaks up. "Well, it's not part of my collection in any case."
>"Well that leaves Marisa and Patchouli," Kosuzu notes to herself. "Hmm..."
>You wonder if you have to roll to decide the outcome of a coin now. You flip a coin and roll a 3.
>It lands on heads, completely independent of your roll.
>An idea pops into your head. "Say, Kosuzu, can we borrow a couple of grimoires?"
>Kosuzu shrugs. "Sure, I guess. I mean, business isn't going that great anyway. Nobody wants to buy strange magical books."
>You grab the first two you see off the shelves, and your die falls out of your pocket.
>Huh, a 1. Wonder what that rolled for. You pick the die up and pocket it again.
> Mokou - Should probably start with Patchouli. She'd know a lot about grimoures.
>Well, everyone knows that the largest collection of grimoires is in Patchouli's library! That shall be your next destination!
>At least, it was going to be until you rolled a 2. Now, there's a big pile of quantum geography standing in the way between you and Castle Scarlet.
>Not literally, of course. There's just a shady narrow path between impassable giant thorn bushes.
>This is not going to be a pleasant trip. On the bright side, it goes in the general direction of Castle Scarlet.
Satori
Satori: Successfully solve the following anagram: sUtohu ieRuij.
>You sigh. "Stop it, Koishi." Now, who could that girl in the tank be?
> Assess damage to self.
>You are rather scratched up, but you're a youkai, so you'll be fine.
> Read mind of girl in tank.
>What kind of person throws tanks at their own shrine? Even the other one never did something as crazy as that!
>Well, could be better, could be worse.
>The girl pops out of her tank. I don't know why I'd talk physics with the raven girl. She looks like a birdbrain, after all.
>Looks like you'll have to set some things straight. "Well, that raven with the space cape is Utsuho Reiuji, the cat with a wheelbarrow next to her feeding her eggs is Rin Kaenbyou, and that girl clinging on to your back is my sister, Koishi Komeiji. I'm Satori. Nice to meet you."
And now the author has decided he doesn't want to make the same scene again with just a different point of view. Fast forward!
>Well, Sanae's arrived and is bugging the scientist now.
> Satori - Once Sanae shows up, read her mind to figure out why she thought hurling a tank at her own home was a good idea.
> Read Sanae's mind.
> Make a Recollection Spell Card with the incoherent barrage of thoughts in Sanae's mind. Who knows, it might come in handy.
>Crazy barrages are surprisingly effective. This spellcard shall be Recollection 'Unrestrained by Common Sense'.
> Make the kid with the tank shut the hell up.
> Be a true leader.
> Attempt to start a calm, serious conversation with everyone on the premises (including Komachi) in order to plan our next actions.
> Disregard Utsuho's advice.
> Roll the die to choose our next destination!
>You think that you have done a fine job of keeping that scientist quiet. It's easy to do to people if you can reply before they speak.
>You decide to take the mantle of supreme leader. "So, what is our plan of action now?"
>"Eat eggs."
>"Shoot people from the inside of my tank."
>"Sleep more."
>"Lick everything, everywhere!"
>"Find some corpses to cart off?"
>"Youkai extermination~!"
>These guys are hopeless. You sigh. "Well, since nobody else has any ideas, shall I just decide the next destination randomly?" You take out your new d20.
>"Hey! That's mine!" Sanae notices.
>You ignore her, and roll a 4. "Castle Scarlet it is," you decide abruptly. "Now, does anyone have any objections?"
>Utsuho raises her hand. I want somewhere with food!
>"...That do not pertain to food?"
>Utsuho lowers her hand again.
> Round and round and round it goes / Where it points, nobody knows. Who thought about this, again?
>"Stop with the silly rhymes, Koishi."
-
AAAAAALAUGHING FIT! My results were RIDICULOUSLY AMUSING~!
-
> Rika - "Why there?"
> Mokou - Burn the thorn bushes.
> Satori - Wonder if you should try for GM or player.
> Distract Sanae by asking her for her character sheet.
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Mokou: Fly, damnit.
-
Sorry, guys, I don't think I'll be able to spam commands this time. I'll edit this post if I can somehow get to it. Looks like I can, after all! :V
Rika, the Crazy Scientist
> Tag along with the pink haired loli Satori's party.
> Satori is a satori, right? How plain! Who are we going to meet next? A nue called Nue, maybe?
> Listen to Utsuho ramble about eggs and nuclear physics.
> Ask the whole party for a demonstration of a spell card of their choice on the first available weak target.
> Roll to choose which spell card MtPST should copy.
> Ask Satori about Recollection spells.
> Change the Pop Star Tank's name to S.A.T.O.R.I.N.! It's way more fitting than M.A.R.I.S.U.H.
> Do not let Koishi push buttons or pull levers on your tank.
> Receive Sanae's apologies. Extort them by force if needed.
> Let the shapely reaper - Komachi, right? - take a nap inside the tank.
> Shoot annoying red-white Shrine Maidens on sight.
> Watch out for quantum geography.
Mokou, the hottest girl in Gensokyo
>Mokou: Fly, damnit.
Seconding this.
> Laugh at that pathetic excuse for a deathtrap. We've seen way more effective ones at Eientei.
> Wonder who could have thought about that worthless trap.
> Ask Hina about Castle Scarlet.
> Misfortune check!
> Try and decipher the grimoires. Ask Alice for help if needed. Hope we roll a critical success :V
> Pet the Sukusuku Hakutaku.
> Enter the Castle.
> Ignore the gatekeeper.
> Find your way to the Library. Refuse any help - we don't need friggin' directions! We can get there on our own!
Pink haired loli Satori
> Lead the way to Castle Scarlet.
> Act as a tour guide for the party.
> Stay the friggin' hell away from Orin's cartwheel!
> Demonstrate Recollection "Terrifying Hypnotism" on a random fairy when asked for by Rika. Fixed. I blame Koishi for the mistake :V
> Laugh at the fairy's thoughts.
> Cringe at Utsuho's thoughts.
> Scan the area for mischievous Koishis.
> Watch out for quantum geography.
> Be on the lookout for non-hostile parties with the same destination as yours. Do not engage yet.
> Enter the Castle.
> Ignore the gatekeeper.
> Find the head maid.
Parse(e)r
Am I issuing too many commands? I'll go easy on you if you say so ;)
-
>Satori: Smack Sanae. In the face.
-
Am I issuing too many commands? I'll go easy on you if you say so ;)
>The command Parsee thanks Marukyuu for the acknowledgement. She's so lonely and bored sifting through commands, but I personally think she won't mind a few more. Don't tell her I said that.
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>I'm sorry, but the command Parsee is on partial strike. She doesn't want anything to do with the raven because of what happened to her in the last adventure.
Rika
> Rika - "Why there?"
>"I told you," Satori cuts you off before you can speak. "I decided randomly since none of us have any ideas."
> Tag along with the pink haired loli Satori's party.
> Satori is a satori, right? How plain! Who are we going to meet next? A nue called Nue, maybe?
>"I'm not too sure why I'm named that, either. I blame my parents. A nue being called Nue is just silly, though."
>In Myouren Temple, Nue gets the feeling that people are doubting her existence.
> Listen to Utsuho ramble about eggs and nuclear physics.
>Satori leads the way, and the rest of you follow. You get in your tank and fly off after them.
>Utsuho is talking animatedly to Koishi. Something about eggs and irradiating food to make it taste better.
> Ask the whole party for a demonstration of a spell card of their choice on the first available weak target.
> Roll to choose which spell card MtPST should copy.
>That's when you realize you're flying weaponless. On your request, though, everyone declares a spellcard for you to copy.
>"Recollection 'Terrifying Hypnotism'!"
>"Esoterica 'Grey Thaumaturgy'!"
>"Death Song 'Ferriage in the Deep Fog'!"
>"Youkai 'Blazing Wheel'!"
>"Atomic Fire 'Nuclear Fusion'!"
>"Suppression 'Super-ego'~!"
>Of the 6 spellcards, you decide to copy Satori's one to correspond with the 1 you rolled.
>That's when you realize that asking everyone to declare spellcards at once wasn't actually that good of an idea.
>And here comes the barrage. How do you fare?
>6. Huh. That's actually pretty successful. Of course, nobody can survive 6 spellcards at once unscathed unless they were either cheating or Reimu.
>Your tank now has the spellcard Mimicked Spell 'Terrifying Hypnotism' and is at 220/280 health.
>"Well, that actually went better than I expected," Satori observes. The fairies who were flying around are now fleeing in terror. The way to Castle Scarlet is cleared.
> Watch out for quantum geography.
>Wait, is the entire ground covered in giant flaming thorn bushes? Good thing you guys are flying.
> Ask Satori about Recollection spells.
> Change the Pop Star Tank's name to S.A.T.O.R.I.N.! It's way more fitting than M.A.R.I.S.U.H.
>"And before you ask, I read the target's mind to make a one-use spellcard based on their memories, either of past spellcards or current mental state."
>You want to change your tanks name. S.A.T.O.R.I.N. is much cooler, anyway. The only problem now is making a new acronym for it.
>"I'm... flattered... that you want to name a tank after me, I guess. You're going to have a bit of trouble making up something for it, though."
> Do not let Koishi push buttons or pull levers on your tank.
>Of course you won't let something like that happen! Koishi's not even in the tank!
>"Ooh! What does this button do?"
>OH CR-
>You roll a 4 and successfully restrain Koishi.
>"YOU! No touchy button. That button means stuff goes boom and we don't want stuff to go boom yet!"
>You've never been one for coherent speak in times of crisis.
>"But it's so fun to mess with things~!" Koishi sings.
>You kick her out of your tank.
> Receive Sanae's apologies. Extort them by force if needed.
>Thinking for a moment, you pop out of the tank's hatch too. "Sanae, don't you have something to say to me?"
>You roll a 3. "What?" Sanae asks cluelessly.
>You try again and roll a 2. "You know, like something about what you did?" you prompt.
>"Nope," Sanae responds cheerfully.
>Calm down, Rika. Roll a higher number and try again. Stay... calm...
>Rolled a 2. "Oh!" Sanae realizes. "Did you like my control over divine wind? It was cool, right?"
>You facepalm. "No, I mean an apology. You threw me and my tank up the mountain and into the shrine."
>"But you're just fine, aren't you?"
>"You do not throw people at buildings, regardless of their physical state afterwards!"
>"Fine, fine. Sorry for launching you with AWESOME WIND POWERS into my shrine."
>Satori smacks Sanae.
> Let the shapely reaper - Komachi, right? - take a nap inside the tank.
> Shoot annoying red-white Shrine Maidens on sight.
>You're about to reenter your tank in a huff when the shinigami flies closer to you. "Hey," she says. "Can I take a break? I won't touch anything."
>"Sure," you accept warily.
>She squeezes in through the hatch after you reenter. "Thanks. I needed the nap." She mumbles before falling asleep.
>Well, your tanks are chiefly made for one person, but you suppose you can still drive your tank fine with another passenger.
>There are no other shrine maidens in the sky besides the annoying green-haired one.
Satori
> Satori - Wonder if you should try for GM or player.
> Distract Sanae by asking her for her character sheet.
>You're pretty sure that you're a player, and whoever's responsible is the GM. Well, you'll end up victorious in the end! This isn't the first time a group of players has risen up against the GM, you're sure!
>"Say, Sanae?" you ask as the thought hits you. "You played D&D, right? Do you still remember your character sheet?"
>"What? No, of course not!" Sanae replies. She is definitely flustered. Half-elf cleric, level 5- wait she can read minds! LALALALALALALALALALA! NOTHING IMPORTANT OR EMBARRASSING TO READ HERE!
> Lead the way to Castle Scarlet.
> Act as a tour guide for the party.
> Stay the friggin' hell away from Orin's cartwheel!
>You take the lead as you guide the group to Castle Scarlet. Rin tries to get you to ride in her wheelbarrow, but you know better than that.
>You decide that what this trip really needs is a boring tour guide! "And to your left, you'll see the oarfish of the skies dragging away the mischievous celestial back to Heaven..." you drone on in the best impression of a unmotivated tour guide that you can manage.
> Demonstrate Recollection "Terrifying Hypnotism" on a random fairy when asked for by Rika. Fixed. I blame Koishi for the mistake :V
> Laugh at the fairy's thoughts.
> Cringe at Utsuho's thoughts.
>"I can't just go flying in unarmed," Rika points out. "I need to copy one of your spellcards."
>"I'm sure something like that can be managed," you reply. "Recollection 'Terrifyling Hypnotism'!"
>One after another, the others declare their own spellcards.
>You suspect that Rika didn't think this all the way through.
>A couple of fairies are caught up in the ensuing chaos, leaving a couple other fairies watching and one of them handing out popcorn.
>Thoughts fly through your mind as the fairies within range panic. That's too many bullets! Help! Don't kill me again! Where's Cirno when you need her?
>Then you turn your attention to Utsuho. BURN! EVERYTHING BURN! AHAHAHAHAHA!
>Ah, yes. This is why you don't let her out without supervision.
>Once the last of the spellcards times out, Rika breathes a sigh of relief.
>"Well, that actually went better than I expected," you say.
>Rika is thinking about your Recollection spellcards, so you explain them to her and politely read her thoughts on changing her tank's name.
>Of course changing its name is useless, you think to yourself. Nobody calls it by name, anyway.
> Scan the area for mischievous Koishis.
> Watch out for quantum geography.
>Rika kicks Koishi out of her tank. So that's where she was. That saves you a roll.
>The giant thorn bush below you is now on fire, most likely because of Utsuho's spellcard.
>When you say below you, you mean roughly below you. The area directly below you is razed clean by all the stray bullets.
>Satori: Smack Sanae. In the face.
>Rika and Sanae are arguing about an apology. You take this chance and smack that shrine maiden. The 15 you rolled allows you to hit her in the back of her head, but not the face.
> Be on the lookout for non-hostile parties with the same destination as yours. Do not engage yet.
> Enter the Castle.
> Ignore the gatekeeper.
> Find the head maid.
>You look around for other people who might be visiting Castle Scarlet, but you find none. You rolled a 15, so you try to sneak past the gate guard.
>She's too vigilant right now, though. Should've tried when she's on nap break.
>"Halt!" Meiling says, standing guard as usual. "What business do you have with the Scarlet Devil?" I feel so stupid having to proclaim this to every visitor we get...
>"Don't worry; it's just a friendly visit."
>Meiling raises an eyebrow. "With a tank?"
>"Not just any tank!" Rika interrupts. "It's S.A.T.O.R.I.N. (don't ask what it stands for) the Pop Star Tank! A marvel of science!" Gotta make a good first impression!
>Meiling sighs. "Just go in. I'm sure Sakuya can deal with you."
>"What was that you said?" Sakuya asks. She appears next to Meiling, startling the gatekeeper. It's better than when she's sleeping, I guess.
>Sakuya notices you and your entourage. "Well, I suppose you can come in. The tank stays outside, though. Go park it next to the gate." Where'd they get a tank?
>Rika frowns. "Why should I?" It's a tank! Defensive and everything! Leaving it defeats its purpose!
>In response, Sakuya throws a couple of knives dangerously close to the scientist. You have to admit, it's effective.
>"OnsecondthoughtI'msurethistankwillbefinejustbeingleftherenowpleasedon'tstabme!"
>Sakuya guides your ragtag bunch of adventurers into the main hall.
Mokou
>Mokou: Fly, damnit.
>You realize that you can just fly over the thorns.
> Laugh at that pathetic excuse for a deathtrap. We've seen way more effective ones at Eientei.
> Wonder who could have thought about that worthless trap.
>Really, what kind of person makes a land-based deathtrap in a place where everyone can fly? Whoever controls the quantum geography really isn't good at designing deathtraps.
> Mokou - Burn the thorn bushes.
>Now, just because you can fly doesn't mean that you should just ignore the bushes.
>In fact, you think that you shall be a help to others and set fire to them.
>There's already some on fire in the distance, in fact.
>You light the nearest part of the bush on fire and watch gleefully as the fire spreads through the dry thorn bush.
>The others stare at you nervously. Huh.
> Ask Hina about Castle Scarlet.
> Misfortune check!
>"Castle Scarlet?" Hina asks. "Oh, right. You weren't really part of the Quantum Geography Incident, weren't you?"
>"Not really," you reply. "I caught a glimpse of it when Utsuho, Sakuya, and Flandre visited the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, and helped them out a bit, but I didn't see the rest of it personally."
>"Well, afterwards, Remilia hosted a giant party that got out of control," Alice explains. "'Everyone declaring spellcards at once' kind of out of control. The Scarlet Devil Mansion got destroyed, so Remilia got Chiri, the youkai responsible for the quantun geography, to quantum up a new castle for her."
>You roll a 2 and fail your misfortune check. Hina scratches her head. "With all this dice interference, it's hard to tell where misfortune is gathering."
> Try and decipher the grimoires. Ask Alice for help if needed. Hope we roll a critical success :V
> Pet the Sukusuku Hakutaku.
>You decide that it'll be a while before you reach the castle, so you get to work on the grimoires.
>You roll a 1. Critical failure; the book sends a smoke cloud up in your face, blinding you temporarily.
>Alice sighs. "I'll just let you decipher those books by yourself."
>"Wait, no! Help me with it!"
>Great. Your critical failure means you can't even ask for help. Well, at least you'll have something to do for the rest of the trip.
>You absentmindedly pet the sukusuku hakutaku.
>Wait, is it flying? What? How?
> Enter the Castle.
> Ignore the gatekeeper.
> Find your way to the Library. Refuse any help - we don't need friggin' directions! We can get there on our own!
>By the time you reach Castle Scarlet, you've failed to understand any part of the grimoires. Several times.
>One is currently clamped on the fingers of your left hand and refuses to open.
>The other is slowly orbiting counterclockwise around your head.
>You roll a 5, and sneak past Meiling on her nap break. Is she sleeping on a tank?
>You enter the main hall, only to find that you and your party aren't the only guests.
>Well, you were planning on finding the library yourself, but the 2 you roll doesn't look promising.
>You decide to wait around in the main hall until someone gives you directions.
-
Scientist, Crazy the Rika
> What a huge castle! There must be a secret lab somewhere! Ask the silver-haired maid about it!
> Collect thrown knives. Use them as spare parts for S.A.T.O.R.I.N.
> Try and shoot a random fairy. Feel powerless without your main source of firepower.
> Realize you can't do much to advance the plot help the party right now. How can we kill time without getting bored to death?
> Talk about nuclear physics with Utsuho.
> Explain the paradox of Schr?dinger's Cat to Rin.
> Pet the cat youkai Rin!
> Catch a glimpse of a blond vampire with weird wings (BVwWWNot again!) trying to destroy her toys.
> Ask yourself if there's a way to explain with SCIENCE how said toys change their shape instead of going BOOM.
> Stumble upon a human phoenix and her merry band of adventurers!
Satori, the youkai babysitter
> Stop Utsuho from asking for more eggs. She's already had her meal.
> Discuss the incident with Sakuya.
> Drink from the nearest age-changing fountain.
> Stop Koishi... nevermind, she's going to drink from the fountain anyway. Oh, well.
> Try and calm Sanae down. She's too impatient. There are no youkai to exterminate yet, but soon there will be.
> Maybe slap her again.
> Catch a glimpse of Flandre kyuu'ing her quantum toys.
> Her idea of fun is kind of awkward, isn't it?
> Let one of the residents lead the way to the Library.
> Stumble upon a human phoenix and her merry band of adventurers!
Mokou, the Human Torch
> Have Alice uncurse the grimoires.
> Have Alice's dolls uncurse the grimoires.
> Have Hina uncurse the grimoires.
> Have the Sukusuku Hakutaku uncurse... nevermind.
> Let the fairy maids read the cover of the grimoires.
> Discuss elemental magic with Alice.
> Discuss the Sukusuku Hakutaku's cuteness with Hina.
> Stumble upon a pink-haired mind reader, a crazy scientist and their merry band of adventurers!
> Merge your party with theirs and go bother Patchy!
-
DARNIT!
>Mokou: Bother the Parsee.
>Satori: Bother the Parsee.
>Rika: Bother the Parsee.
>Utsuho: Bother the Parsee.
>Flandre: Bother the Parsee.
>Sakuya: Bother the Parsee.
>EVERYONE: BOTHER THE PARSEE!
-
>Satori - "Half-Elf Cleric...Interesting choice really. Then again, it makes sense."
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Team SatoRika: LET'S SPLIT UP GANG! Have somebody visit Marisa.
You're not gonna stop telling Okuu to be hungry, are ya?
>Hawkpath1337: Be hungry.
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Team SatoRika: LET'S SPLIT UP GANG! Have somebody visit Marisa.
You're not gonna stop telling Okuu to be hungry, are ya?
>Utsuho: Okuu likey nukey!
>Satori: Thmap Sanae.
-
>Team SatoRika: LET'S SPLIT UP GANG! Have somebody visit Marisa.
I'd rather inconvenience have Patchy brief everyone before splitting the party. Of course Marisa will be one of our next targets in a few updates - maybe even the next. Any thoughts?
-
I'd rather inconvenience have Patchy brief everyone before splitting the party. Of course Marisa will be one of our next targets in a few updates - maybe even the next. Any thoughts?
Yes. I do. WHY ISN'T ANYONE BOTHERING PARSEE!?
-
>Don't split up until talking to Patchouli.
-
>Koishi: Implant the urge to Bother the Parsee in everyone in Gensokyo. Including Parsee.
-
>Koishi: Implant the urge to Bother the Parsee in everyone in Gensokyo. Including Parsee.
>Mokou: Bother the Parsee.
>Satori: Bother the Parsee.
>Rika: Bother the Parsee.
>Utsuho: Bother the Parsee.
>Flandre: Bother the Parsee.
>Sakuya: Bother the Parsee.
>EVERYONE: BOTHER THE PARSEE!
>Parsee cannot be bothered. She has an entire fourth wall between her and the adventurers!
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Utsuho: Okuu likey nukey!
>Parsee takes one look at these commands and then dumps them into the "To Be Incinerated" pile. Invalid commands work surprisingly well as fuel for the Hell of Blazing Fires.
>Hawkpath1337: Be hungry.
>Hawkpath1337... the name sounds familiar to Parsee. Why, though? She doesn't remember having a voodoo doll of whoever that is. Better start making one to be safe.
>Well anyway, this command's gotta go in the incinerator pile, too.
Mokou
> Stumble upon a pink-haired mind reader, a crazy scientist and their merry band of adventurers!
>You have no idea why you would ever stumble upon such a strange group such as the one you have just thought of.
>Satori shrugs. "I suppose we are strange. We're one group that you won't find in any encounter table."
> Have Alice uncurse the grimoires.
> Have Alice's dolls uncurse the grimoires.
> Have Hina uncurse the grimoires.
>Alice smiles. "You seem to be doing just fine. Why would you need anyone to uncurse them?"
>"Shut up and get these book off of me."
>Alice rolls a 3, and her dolls help. The grimoire that was clinging on to your hand is now back to normal.
>"I can help!" Hina chimes in. She rolls a 2, and the grimoire orbiting your head is stuttering in its orbit, now. It's a shame that nobody else can uncurse grimoires.
>You'll just have to wait until its own self-defense magic wears out.
> Have the Sukusuku Hakutaku uncurse... nevermind.
> Let the fairy maids read the cover of the grimoires.
>Wait, what's the sukusuku hakutaku doing?
>The sukusuku hakutaku does the last bit of uncursing the grimoire.
>You decide not to ask how. It won't be able to answer, anyway.
>"Hey, you. Fairy maids. Can you read the title of this? It's all gibberish to me." Well, it's worth a shot.
>Two fairy maids fly up and make a big show about deciphering the words on the cover.
>They are getting nowhere.
>Eventually, the fairies give up. "Sorry, fire lady. We can't read this," one apologizes.
>"But maybe Daiyousei can!" the other one exclaims.
>"Oh, yeah! Do you want us to get her, fire lady?"
>You decide against it. "Nah, you guys don't have to do anything like that."
> Discuss elemental magic with Alice.
> Discuss the Sukusuku Hakutaku's cuteness with Hina.
>Alice shrugs. "Elemental magic isn't my field of expertise. Patchouli's the resident professional in regards to elemental magic. I only got enough down so that my dolls can be used for some spells."
>Hina doesn't notice you talking to her. She's too busy petting the sukusuku hakutaku.
> Merge your party with theirs and go bother Patchy!
>Patchouli's good with books and elemental magic! You should go bothervisit her, in fact.
>Satori calls back to you from down the hallway. "Already ahead of you! You guys coming?"
>Wow. Either youkai grow up fast, or you missed something interesting.
Rika
> Stumble upon a human phoenix and her merry band of adventurers!
>That lady is not good with books. Magic is weird, and doesn't make sense. That's why you think SCIENCE is better.
> What a huge castle! There must be a secret lab somewhere! Ask the silver-haired maid about it!
> Collect thrown knives. Use them as spare parts for S.A.T.O.R.I.N.
>"Secret lab?" the maid thinks about it. "Well, the library is where Patchouli does all of her magic experiments, so that counts?"
>You collect some of the spare knives. Always good to have scrap metal for repairs.
> Try and shoot a random fairy. Feel powerless without your main source of firepower.
> Realize you can't do much to advance the plot help the party right now. How can we kill time without getting bored to death?
>You realize that nothing of interest is happening. Shame. You try to shoot a fairy maid to liven things up.
>Then you remember that you have no power to shoot danmaku without your tank. You feel so helpless without it.
>But you still can do something to the fairy! You reach into your pocket portal to your TSMS and pull out a wrench.
>Your fantastic roll of 6 lets you hit that fairy head on in a nonlethal but painful way with your thrown wrench.
>The fairy rubs her head, then glares at you. "What was that for?"
>"I'm booored!" you whine.
>The fairy frowns. "You didn't have to hit me!"
>"But what else was I supposed to do?"
>"Don't ask me! But if it's a fight you want, I'll be happy to help! Inconsequential Fairy 'Popcorn Barrage'!"
>"That has got to be the weirdest spellcard I have ever seen," you comment before you have to start dodging.
>The rest of the group's attention is divided between you and another two people trying to remove a book clamped on the phoenix person's hand.
>You roll a 6 again and pull off acrobatic moves only achievable if you roll a critical success or if you're Reimu. Which you're not. But the 6 works too.
>You dodge the barrage flawlessly and chuck another wrench at the fairy.
>Your good luck streak ends here. The 1 sends the wrench flying straight at the silver-haired human maid, who turns around and catches it time.
>She disappears and instantly reappears behind you. "I believe this wrench is yours?" she asks you dangerously.
>You take your wrench back cautiously. "Yes. Yes it is. Terribly sorry. Bad throwing arm and all that."
>From the corner of your eye, you see the fairy sticking her tongue at you.
>You whip around to face her and throw the wrench at her again. Drat, another 1.
>It breaks through the window and reminds the gate guard outside that her nap break is over.
>The maid glares at you.
> Talk about nuclear physics with Utsuho.
> Explain the paradox of Schr?dinger's Cat to Rin.
> Pet the cat youkai Rin!
>You attempt to talk about nuclear physics, but you have to forfit this round. The raven out-sciences you completely, and that's not an easy thing to accomplish.
>Fanfare, confetti and a trophy appear above Utsuho. Achievement unlocked! oh wait she isn't a main character anymore.
>You decide to explain an idea of quantum mechanics to Rin instead.
>After you explain it to her, she scratches her head. "How do you get the cat into the box if you close it?"
>"You put it in and then close it, of course!"
>"It's impossible to get a cat in an enclosed space. Believe me; I know about cats."
>"But that's not even the main part of the problem! You know what? Never mind."
>These people obviously do not have the appreciation for science that you do. You decide to pet the cat girl instead.
>"She's not a cat," Satori speaks up from behind you. "Well, not technically. She's a kasha. She carts away corpses."
>You stop petting the corpse taker.
> Catch a glimpse of a blond vampire with weird wings (BVwWWNot again!) trying to destroy her toys.
> Ask yourself if there's a way to explain with SCIENCE how said toys change their shape instead of going BOOM.
>You peek into another room and see a little vampire with weird crystal wing thingies destroying her toys and watching as they transforrm into something else.
>No. You refuse to believe it. There is no possible way that can happen.
>Rikako's voice floats through your head. This is Gensokyo. Weird stuff happens here.
Satori
> Stumble upon a human phoenix and her merry band of adventurers!
>Judging from their minds, the spinning girl is Hina Kagiyama, the phoenix girl is Mokou Fujiwara, and the magician with the dolls is Alice Margatroid. Strange names.
>You can't bring yourself to read the mind of that cute green fuzzy thing that is tagging along. Something about it says that it would either be a very bad idea or a morally wrong one.
>Mokou is contemplating the strangeness of your group. You might as well acknowledge it too. "I suppose we are strange. We're one group that you won't find in any encounter table."
>Sanae perks up a little when you mention an encounter table. Actually, in one adventure I was in... OH WAIT MIND READER LALALALA NOTHING SILLY HERE AT ALL!
> Stop Utsuho from asking for more eggs. She's already had her meal.
> Discuss the incident with Sakuya.
>Eggs~ "Satori, can I have some-"
>"No, Utsuho. You can't."
>You turn your attention to Sakuya, who is glaring at Rika. "So, what do you think of this incident?"
>"It's a pain," Sakuya sighs. "And I can't even go out to solve it because Remilia wants me to keep attending her throughout the incident in case she slips up or something." You're improving your manners, I see. You let me actually voice my thoughts this time.
>"Don't worry, I'll solve this one for you," you reassure her. "Wait, what's this about my manners?"
>Sakuya nods and ignores the second half of your statement. "Thanks I'd like that." Talking with you is weird, usually. Normal people have to listen to what is said before replying.
>Satori - "Half-Elf Cleric...Interesting choice really. Then again, it makes sense."
>Sanae is now covering her ears. "LALALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" NOTHING ABOUT DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HERE, NONE AT ALL!
>You decide to send a thought directly into her head. What was that about encounter tables, again?
>Sanae starts singing louder. Gotta think of something else! Youkai extermination! That'll do fine! Exterminate! Exterminate! No tabletop-game-related thoughts here!
> Try and calm Sanae down. She's too impatient. There are no youkai to exterminate yet, but soon there will be.
> Maybe slap her again.
>Satori: Thmap Sanae.
>You roll a 12. Nope. You don't get in a thmap, but you get in a pretty satisfying SHMOP.
>You consider the sound effect. That did not fit the situation at all.
>Sanae is stunned too. What kind of slapping sound is SCHMOP?
> Drink from the nearest age-changing fountain.
> Stop Koishi... nevermind, she's going to drink from the fountain anyway. Oh, well.
>You remember the weird age-changing fountains that are spread around the place. Time for an age-up to match your authority of this group!
>Well, Koishi can join you too, you guess. Not like you could stop her.
>The author can't find anything on Safebooru to depict the Komeiji Sisters, so yeah. I blame internets.
> Catch a glimpse of Flandre kyuu'ing her quantum toys.
> Her idea of fun is kind of awkward, isn't it?
> Let one of the residents lead the way to the Library.
>Rika stumbles unsteadily away from a door. you decide to peek in to see what all the fuss is about.
>Oh my. Well, at least the toys aren't breaking.
>Team SatoRika: LET'S SPLIT UP GANG! Have somebody visit Marisa.
>Don't split up until talking to Patchouli.
>You get Sakuya's attention. "Do you know where the library is?"
>An unmistakable cry comes from down a hallway. "SAKUYAAAA!"
>Sakuya sighs. "I have to attend to Remilia right now. Lemme give you some directions, though..." Really, I thought she would start acting her age when she started using the age-changing fountains.
>She gives you a brief rundown of the way to the library, and you commit it to memory in case you visit again.
>You get everyone's (Besides Mokou's group. They're busy trying to get the books off of her) attention again. "Right! We're going to Patchouli's library now!"
>They, naturally, notice the age-up you have underwent. They don't notice Koishi, because she's subconscious-hiding to surprise someone.
>Sanae stares longer than the others, who saw it already at the humongous party. You're older than I remember.
>Rika doesn't notice either. Her thoughts are jumbled, but there's one clear line of thought you can read. This is Gensokyo. Weird stuff happens here.
>You ignore her again and start leading the way to the library. You then notice Mokou.
>They've finally got the books off of her. She's thinking of visiting the magician of the library, so you inform her of your plans before heading off. To the library!
-
>Satori - "Age-changing fountain. Works wonders for those who don't physically age. Come to think of it, you could even relive your time as a child. Or even see what you'd look like as an adult. Also, there's no need to feel any shame about tabletop gaming. I happen to have a mild fondness for it myself."
>Rika - Eeeeeyuuuugh...Dead bodies. We don't do THAT kind of science. What are we, some kinda monster? Heck no, we build things.
And if that doesn't work, we just build more things.
>Mokou - "Encounter Table..? Oookay." Makes you wonder if a few of this group isn't a few fries short of a happy meal.
-
>Mokou - "Encounter Table..? Oookay." Makes you wonder if a few of this group isn't a few fries short of a happy meal.
>Mokou: What the hell is a happy meal?
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>Rika: Politely ask Sakuya if you can use S.A.T.O.R.I.N. to copy one of her spellcards.
-
>Rika: Then realize that Sakuya left to go attend to Remilia.
-
Rika
> Ask the party who's that Remilia brat.
> Sympathize with Sakuya.
> Think about building some nuclear-powered robot maids for her when the incident is over.
Rika, Mokou, Satori (and company)
> Have an easy time avoiding any kind of deathtraps on the way to the Library.
> Enter the Library and go bother Patchy!
Rika
> Look around for stuff you'd expect in a secret lab.
> Try and disassemble one of the sentry laser turrets disguised as flying books.
> Approach the little devil with wings on her head. She must be the Patchouli everyone is talking about!
> Nope, she isn't Patchouli.
> Ask Not-Patchouli for books on nuclear physics. That birdbrain won't get the upper hand next time we have a SCIENCE-OFF!
> Approach the bookworm in purple. Yes, Patchouli.
> Listen to her ramblings about the incident. Whip out a PDA and take notes.
> Ask Patchy if dice can be replaced with a pseudo-random number generator.
> Watch out for thieving witches.
Mokou
> Burn a random flying laser-shooting book.
> "See, Rika? If it looks like a book, flies like a book and burns like a book, it IS a book. I know, books don't fly, but hey, this is Gensokyo."
> Ask Patchouli about the incident.
> Mention the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> Get bored of Patchouli's ramblings.
> Take the Sukusuku Hakutaku and go chat about petty stuff with Koakuma! Alice and Hina will handle further questions to Patchouli.
> Ask Koa and Patchy's help in order to decipher the two grimoires from Kosuzu's store.
> Watch out for thieving witches.
> BURN THE WITCH!
Satori
> "Before you even think about it, Okuu: there are no eggs here. Deal with it."
> "Koishi, would you please stop bothering Koa? We're not here to play!"
> "Orin, I'm sorry, but the fairies here will never play zombie with you."
> Read Koakuma's mind.
> Listen carefully to what Patchouli has to say and think. Do not let anyone's thoughts distract you.
> When Patchouli's done explaining things, ask Patchouli all the questions the party have thought about before they do.
> "Koishi, stop it. This incident's about dice, not alligators."
> "... or eggs. Okuu, I think you have a problem."
> Watch out for thieving witches.
> Make a Recollection Spell Card referencing a random copied Spell Card in the thieving witch's repertoire.
> A copy of a copy of a Spell Card?! How's that even possible?
-
> BURN THE WITCH!
> Mokou - The black white one. The purple one is a magician.
> Wonder if there is a difference.
> Rika - recall what it is you went here to do.
> Satori - Check with Patchouli that your D&D rulebook is in fact the most current edition.
-
>Utsuho: Be hungry.
>The Command Parsee grumbles. She get some time away from Keine's finals and the first thing that greets her back at her job is another invalid command.
>Rika: Politely ask Sakuya if you can use S.A.T.O.R.I.N. to copy one of her spellcards.
>Rika: Then realize that Sakuya left to go attend to Remilia.
>Parsee frowns, then places these two commands in the invalid pile. Paradoxical commands would only leave Keine more work to do.
>And when Keine has to do more work, she gets stressed and starts handing out more finals and headbutts.
Satori
>Satori - "Age-changing fountain. Works wonders for those who don't physically age. Come to think of it, you could even relive your time as a child. Or even see what you'd look like as an adult. Also, there's no need to feel any shame about tabletop gaming. I happen to have a mild fondness for it myself."
>Sanae stares at you blankly. "Wait, you're telling me that there is not just one, but multiple fountains of youth in this castle?" IGNORE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS! SHE'S JUST TRYING TO GET YOUR GUARD DOWN!
>"Hey," you reply, "this is Gensokyo. As some people have said, 'weird stuff happens here.' What's with your adverse reaction to D&D anyway?"
>Sanae starts walking faster and trying to ignore you, before walking straight into a pole.
>"Can I carry her in my wheelbarrow now?" Rin asks excitedly. She's unconscious, so it's close enough, right?
>You decide to throw Rin a bone (Metaphorically of course)."Sure. You can wheel her around until she wakes up."
> Have an easy time avoiding any kind of deathtraps on the way to the Library.
> Enter the Library and go bother Patchy!
>There are no deathdraps on the way to the library. There is, however, labels periodically written on the wall. Things like:
There WAS a giant pit of lava here. Just saying.
If you stepped on one of the squares on the carpet here, you would've set off the boulder trap. Sneaky, right?
I kinda liked the hidden fire traps that were here. Shame I had to take them out.
>Where is Chiri, anyway? You assumed she's just sorta roaming around Gensokyo, but nobody in your group has run into her.
> Satori - Check with Patchouli that your D&D rulebook is in fact the most current edition.
>"What?" Patchouli asks. "Why would you mention D&D?" You've got version 3.5, isn't that good enough?
>"I know I've got 3.5, but I'm asking if there's a newer edition."
>"None of them have dropped through the border around here. Why would you need one?" After all, house rules don't need editions.
>Patchouli has a point. House rules are part of the fun whenever you find time to play.
> "Before you even think about it, Okuu: there are no eggs here. Deal with it."
> "Koishi, would you please stop bothering Koa? We're not here to play!"
> "Orin, I'm sorry, but the fairies here will never play zombie with you."
>Now that that's out of the way, you can deal with your party. You do so efficiently, and order returns in the peanut gallery.
>"Why don't they?" Rin whines. "I've got spare zombie clothes just for the situation!" And don't think I'm weird for that. You know as well as I do that Sakuya carries a ridiculous number of maid uniforms and knives wherever she goes.
> Read Koakuma's mind.
> Listen carefully to what Patchouli has to say and think. Do not let anyone's thoughts distract you.
> When Patchouli's done explaining things, ask Patchouli all the questions the party have thought about before they do.
> "Koishi, stop it. This incident's about dice, not alligators."
> "... or eggs. Okuu, I think you have a problem."
>Koakuma is taking a breather after the Koishi-style harassment. Underground youkai are weird. And creepy. And perverted. And... I guess not all that different from youkai up here, when I think about it. Huh.
>You roll a 7 and fail to not get distracted. Patchouli's thoughts are filled with too much complicated magical analysis for you to understand.
>Other people's thoughts are far more accessible.
So, what if I made a tank... that shot giant lasers?
That wheelbarrow was surprisingly comfortable.
Eggs... I'm not hungry, but eggs are still welcome!
If I sneak off, nobody will notice me napping!
You know, I would think that books that set themselves on fire woudn't exist for long. Save me the trouble of burning them myself, though.
Alice, you never use me anymore!
Quiet, Grimoire. There's a mind reader with us!
Spin! Spin! Spin~! No misfortune here, but just making sure~
Books aren't fun to cart away. I've tried.
>You are part of possibly the weirdest group of people you have ever been with.
>"I am of the opinion that incidents such as this can only be improved upon with copious numbers of alligators!" Koishi proclaims. She is holding a stuffed alligator in both hands.
> Watch out for thieving witches.
> Make a Recollection Spell Card referencing a random copied Spell Card in the thieving witch's repertoire.
> A copy of a copy of a Spell Card?! How's that even possible?
>A crash resounds through the library.
>"I see that Marisa has arrived," Patchouli notes. "I've improved the wards now, so I'm sure they'll keep her out."
>A black and white blur on a broom whizzes past you. "Too slow, Patchouliiiiiiii!"
>Patchouli is holding a stopwatch. "5...4...3...2...1."
>The sound of an out-of-control witch unexpectedly hitting a giant wall of rock echoes through the library.
>"Koakuma, do collect the thief and prepare her a seat." Gotta gloat to her, after all.
>She was moving too fast for you to form any sort of recollection card. You plan to make one later, perhaps.
Rika
>Rika - Eeeeeyuuuugh...Dead bodies. We don't do THAT kind of science. What are we, some kinda monster? Heck no, we build things.
And if that doesn't work, we just build more things.
>You like building things. Tanks, specifically. Corpses make you gag just thinking about them.
> Rika - recall what it is you went here to do.
>You didn't choose to go here; that mind-reading youkai did. You're just tagging along.
>Come to think of it, why are you tagging along?
> Ask the party who's that Remilia brat.
> Sympathize with Sakuya.
> Think about building some nuclear-powered robot maids for her when the incident is over.
>"Remilia? She's a vampire. Child, usually, but there are the age-changing fountains everywhere, so now she likes being an adult." Satori explains things before you can ask about them, of course.
>You can't sympathize with Sakuya because you rolled a 1!
>But you do remember having a deactivated robot maid somewhere in your garage. You stole it from the shrine, but Reimu didn't seem to notice.
>You're sure that Utsuho can help you start it again.
> Have an easy time avoiding any kind of deathtraps on the way to the Library.
> Enter the Library and go bother Patchy!
>There are no deathtraps in this castle!
>There are, however, labels of where deathtraps apparently used to be.
And if you didn't hop on one foot across the green sections, the ceiling would fall down on you!
This one used to be a trapdoor. Into a pit full of were-plants. Those things are cool.
I liked this one. You stepped on this tile, and got catapulted through the window!
> Look around for stuff you'd expect in a secret lab.
> Try and disassemble one of the sentry laser turrets disguised as flying books.
>"What are you doing?" a little red-haired devil (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=946548) yells at you. "You don't just hit books with wrenches like that!"
>"They're not books," you explain. "They shoot lasers. Books do not shoot lasers. Therefore they're not books."
>Mokou proves with a demonstration that they are, in fact, books.
> Approach the little devil with wings on her head. She must be the Patchouli everyone is talking about!
> Nope, she isn't Patchouli.
> Ask Not-Patchouli for books on nuclear physics. That birdbrain won't get the upper hand next time we have a SCIENCE-OFF!
>"You're this 'Patchouli' we're apparently here to see, right?" you ask the little devil.
>"Nope. I'm just Koakuma."
>Huh. Well, she probably knows where the books on nuclear physics are. "Do you know where any science-y books are? Ones about nuclear physics?"
>Koakuma points to a shelf in the distance.
>"Thanks," you tell Koakuma, who seems to be distracted by something you can't see.
>"Eep!" she squeals from behind you. You decide that whatever is happening isn't your problem, and go off to study up on nuclear physics to out-science that raven.
> Approach the bookworm in purple. Yes, Patchouli.
> Listen to her ramblings about the incident. Whip out a PDA and take notes.
> Ask Patchy if dice can be replaced with a pseudo-random number generator.
>You return from your independent study to catch the tail end of the purple-pajama purple person's (She's Patchouli, you realize) theories.
>Of course, you don't pay much attention. Your roll of 3 means you get struck with a sudden flash of inspiration about laser tanks.
>"...so the incident currently is definitely caused by one of the magic books, but not one in this library. I checked the catalog, but there haven't been any books like that at all at any time in this library."
>Well, you were too late to take any notes. What is a PDA, though? Why did you think about having one?
>All you have is a notepad and pencil, if you ever needed notes.
>You have the sneaking suspicion that note-taking would need to be rolled on.
>"Say, Patchouli, was it? Could a random number generator be used in place of a die?" you ask. She seems to know more about what's going on than you do, at least.
>Patchouli considers this. "Well, if you have one on hand, I don't see why not. You could always try."
> Watch out for thieving witches.
>You cannot watch for thieving witches, as one has already breached the library's defenses.
>Patchouli sends Koakuma off to collect the intruder, who has been detained by an impassable wall of stone.
Mokou
>Mokou - "Encounter Table..? Oookay." Makes you wonder if a few of this group isn't a few fries short of a happy meal.
>Mokou: What the hell is a happy meal?
>You come up with the strangest ideas, sometimes.
>You think a Happy Meal comes from smiling potatoes. Really, you have no idea.
> Have an easy time avoiding any kind of deathtraps on the way to the Library.
> Enter the Library and go bother Patchy!
>There are no deathtraps to avoid!
>Strangely enough, however, someone has marked the locations of deathtraps.
You had to spin counterclockwise twice here, otherwise you'd get wrapped up by the Chibi-Iku-charged wires.
Spikes shoot out from the walls here. I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This part was so cool! You had to hop from patch to patch over a bottomless pit!
> Burn a random flying laser-shooting book.
> "See, Rika? If it looks like a book, flies like a book and burns like a book, it IS a book. I know, books don't fly, but hey, this is Gensokyo."
>You have to explain to the scientist that these are, in fact, books. Magical ones do shoot lasers.
>Your demonstration is effective and earns you a hit on the head from one of the many Chibi Koakumas patrolling the place.
> Ask Patchouli about the incident.
> Mention the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> Get bored of Patchouli's ramblings.
>You ask Patchouli. "What's up with this incident? Apparently, one happened before, but with coin flipping. There was a magical book behind it, so is there one behind this incident?"
>Patchouli considers your proposal. "You know, it's not at all unlikely, in fact, I would say..."
>You roll a 1 and fail to get bored of Patchouli's musings. They are strangely entrancing.
> Take the Sukusuku Hakutaku and go chat about petty stuff with Koakuma! Alice and Hina will handle further questions to Patchouli.
> Ask Koa and Patchy's help in order to decipher the two grimoires from Kosuzu's store.
>The sukusuku hakutaku has to drag you away. Once you're too far to hear Patchouli, you start up some small talk with the library assistant.
>"So... seen any good danmaku lately?"
>You try to bring up the fact that you would like the two bookworms to decipher the grimoires subtly in the conversation.
>Koakuma outright refuses. Must be the 1 you rolled.
>These dice are getting annoying. You're not even allowed to burn them!
> Watch out for thieving witches.
>You hear a crash. A couple of crashes later, a familiar black and white blur speeds by, laughing maniacally.
>She runs into a stone wall. Looks like that hurt.
>Koakuma stands up. "Excuse me. I have a witch to bring to Patchouli."
>You stand up too. "I'll help," you declare.
> BURN THE WITCH!
> Mokou - The black white one. The purple one is a magician.
> Wonder if there is a difference.
>You decide to help Patchouli by burning Marisa.You roll a 5, but Marisa has apparently rolled a 6 in dodging.
>She jumps away in the nick of time... right into a fire trap.
>Well. You didn't expect that, and judging by the look on her face, Marisa didn't, either.
>You now have a witch on fire. Success?
>Marisa panics into a water trap, which puts her out and restrains her for long enough for Koakuma to take her to Patchouli.
>"Well, there's no difference that I can find," Satori shrugs. "Besides Marisa being human, but I think that's just Marisa being herself."
>Marisa glares at the mind reader and mutters something through her mouth-blindfold-thingy.
>Satori huffs. "Well, I'll have you know that we underground youkai don't get into nearly half as much trouble as you aboveground crazies do."
>Marisa raises an eyebrow.
>"Well, that's just oni being oni! They don't count!"
>Arguments are weird when you can only hear one half of them.
-
Player
> Be ashamed of all those grammar mishaps. Really, how could I miss them after lots of time spent into careful proofreading?!
Alice
> Resist fanon-dictated urges.
Rika
> "Marisa?! Mima's promising prot?g??! Is that really you?"
> "Where's Mima? It's been ages since I last saw her!"
> "Why did you dye your hair blond? Red hair suit you better, y'know?"
> "What's that strange reactor? How does that shoot lasers?"
> "May I dissect it?"
> "Please~?"
> "Utsuho, do you think that reactor is nuclear-powered?"
> Grab the strange reactor!
> Point it at a fairy and shoot.
> Try and dissect one of Alice's sentient flying robots.
> Casually hear something about a sentient grimoire. Feel the urge to examine its brain for SCIENCE!
Mokou
> "What?! Marisa is a redhead?! You've gotta be kidding, right?"
> Set Marisa's hair on decorative fire. "You mean, like this, Rika?"
> Realize it isn't the right time for silly shenanigans.
> Casually hear something about a sentient grimoire. That's not really unexpected, is it? Fixed. *grumbles*
> Have Alice show her grimoire to Patchouli and Satori.
> Let Hina have a peek at it, too. She should check the grimoire for curses.
> Interrogate Marisa about the incident at hand, the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> Let Patchouli have her way with that thieving witch. Watch gleefully until it is ready.
> Discuss possible plans of action with the Sukusuku Hakutaku.
> Actually discussing that with the rest of the party is a better idea.
> Think about the optimal way to split up the party for further investigations.
> Check if Rika knows or has made some kind of remote communication device. Bugging Yukari about that is out of the question.
> Tell Rika about Yukari. She's so clueless...
Not-a-fifth-grader-anymore Satori
> "You've got a point, Orin. Still, I don't want you to bother the fairies in this castle."
> "Koishi, books don't think. Leave Alice alone."
> Wait, Koishi is playing with Marisa.
> "Sorry, Koi. Now what's this...? A sentient grimoire! Very interesting. Alice, would you kindly show it to me and Patchouli?"
> Listen carefully to the grimoire's thoughts and voice them for the whole party.
> Listen to Patchouli's report on the grimoire.
> Now concentrate on Marisa. Read her mind while the others interrogate her.
> Be sure to butt in and make snarky remarks about Marisa's thoughts.
> Assist Mokou in splitting up the party for further investigations.
> Pool suggestions on where to go next. Roll to choose which team goes where.
> "Sanae, are you up for a D&D session with us underground when this incident is over?"
-
> Satori - contemplate whether dice based shennanigans is universe's way of creating incident that can only be solved through live action role-play games.
> Explain theory to Patchouli.
> Rika - show embarrassing pictures of red-headed Marisa to Mokou.
-
Parsee: Be hungry.
Satori: We've got all of the most suspicious grimoire users in a room. Investigate!
-
Parsee: Be hungry.
>Why would Parsee be hungry if she just got back from her lunch break?
>Say what you like about her job, but 5-day lunch breaks are one heck of a benefit.
Player
> Be ashamed of all those grammar mishaps. Really, how could I miss them after lots of time spent into careful proofreading?!
>Parsee stares at this command. What player? Why is it crossed out? Huh?
>Really, some of the commands she gets are weird. There were no grammatical errors in sight for that one.
Alice
> Resist fanon-dictated urges.
>What is fanon? Parsee checks the internet for reference...
>Oh. OH, WHOA. WHAT.
>Parsee is so glad she doesn't have to actually do this command. Failing the roll would be terrifying. She tosses it into the incinerator pile and tries to drink until she forgets it.
Satori
> Satori - contemplate whether dice based shennanigans is universe's way of creating incident that can only be solved through live action role-play games.
> Explain theory to Patchouli.
>Patchouli considers this theory. "You know, given how messed up Gensokyo can be, it's not all that unlikely." How would the magic grimoire fit in, though?
Satori: We've got all of the most suspicious grimoire users in a room. Investigate!
>Well, that isn't saying much, since there are only 3 main grimoire users.
>Investigations are in order, though.
> "Koishi, books don't think. Leave Alice alone."
> Wait, Koishi is playing with Marisa.
> "Sorry, Koi. Now what's this...? A sentient grimoire! Very interesting. Alice, would you kindly show it to me and Patchouli?"
>Koishi sticks her tongue out at you. "See? I'm not always behind everything! Meanie-face!"
>Alice frowns. "All right, I guess. I don't see how it's supposed to help." There we go. See why I tell you to be quiet? Now you have to be investigated.
>Fine, fine. Why do I need to be investigated, anyway? I'm locked. I can't cast any spells.
>"Well, at least we've ruled out you as a culprit," you tell the grimoire.
>Huh? Are you speaking to me?
>"I'm the mind reader that Alice was talking about," you explain.
>Patchouli frowns accusingly at Alice. "Alice, you never told me that your grimoire is sentient! Why can't my magic books be as cool as that?" Talking book~!
>That's because they're not super-powerful grimoires from Makai. And even if they are, you don't use them nearly enough for them to gain sentience.
> Listen carefully to the grimoire's thoughts and voice them for the whole party.
> Listen to Patchouli's report on the grimoire.
>You repeat the grimoire's thoughts to Patchouli, who nods slowly. "Interesting..." Still, talking book! That's pretty cool.
>Alice sighs. "That's because it stopped being remarkable after I fought with Marisa, Reimu, Yuuka, and Mima." Then it started being a bit annoying.
>That's mean, Alice!
>You raise an eyebrow. "You two seem like good friends."
>Patchouli is deep in thought. "So, any book with enough use will become sentient?" I have to start using one book more often, but which one should I choose?
>"Trust me," Alice smiles, "It's not as cool as you think. Once a grimoire become sentient, you're linked to it." Really, try and behave a little! Satori can hear you!
>Alice and I are buddies~! She used to use me more than those stupid musty other grimoires in her house.
>"And once you're linked to it," Alice continues, "You're stuck with it. I mean, it's nice getting a boost in power whenever you use it, but my grimoire is too clingy." Before you say it, yes you are.
>Am not! If I had a tongue, I would be sticking it out at you!
>"Well," Patchouli muses, "The culprit of this incident may be a non-sealed sentient grimoire." An interesting prospect indeed.
> Now concentrate on Marisa. Read her mind while the others interrogate her.
> Be sure to butt in and make snarky remarks about Marisa's thoughts.
>"So, Marisa," Mokou asks, "What do you know about this incident?"
>"Absolutely nothing," the witch declares. Something about a magic grimoire. I tried tracking Chiri, but ended up in the middle of nowhere.
>"That's not surprising," you comment. "It's hard to track someone who changes the layout of the land whenever you're not looking."
>Marisa glares at you. Stop reading my mind! "Is this interrogation over? I don't know anything about this incident."
>"No. I don't feel like it. But yeah, it doesn't look like you know anything we don't. We don't really need to interrogate you any more."
>"Actually," Patchouli interrupts, "I would like to have Marisa to myself for a while." That witch has stolen too many books to get away without any other punishment!
> Assist Mokou in splitting up the party for further investigations.
> Pool suggestions on where to go next. Roll to choose which team goes where.
> "Sanae, are you up for a D&D session with us underground when this incident is over?"
>"Well, now that we have more information, where should we go?" you ask everyone.
>"Home for tea!"
>"Home for eggs!"
>"Fly around to find corpses."
>"Anywhere I can take a nap."
>"Maybe Yukari knows where to go?"
>"I need to go back to the human village. My tanks are waiting!"
>"Somewhere that Chiri might be."
>"Anywhere I can spin~!"
>"I haven't killed Kaguya today. The Bamboo Forest?"
>Some people actually have some good ideas. Others, not so much.
>"Yeah, I think we should just divide into groups and then decide where to go," Mokou sighs.
>With a couple rolls of the d20, you decide that
>Mokou, Sanae, Rin, and Koishi (If she complies) will form a group.
>You, Utsuho, and Hina will be group 2.
>And Rika, Alice, and Komachi (If she wakes up) will be the last group.
>Splitting groups up with a d20 is hard and confusing.
> "Sanae, are you up for a D&D session with us underground when this incident is over?"
>Sanae shakes her head frantically. "Nononono. I'm got miracles to do, shrines to tend to, all that stuff, right? Absolutely no time for tabletop games!" Well, maybe just one adventure...
Rika
> "Marisa?! Mima's promising prot?g??! Is that really you?"
> "Where's Mima? It's been ages since I last saw her!"
> "Why did you dye your hair blond? Red hair suit you better, y'know?"
> "What's that strange reactor? How does that shoot lasers?"
> "May I dissect it?"
> "Please~?"
>"Oh, no," Marisa mutters, "It's the crazy tank scientist again."
>"Look," she says, "I'm not letting you use my mini-hakkero, so stop asking. No. Don't touch it."
>You ignore her.
> Grab the strange reactor!
> Point it at a fairy and shoot.
>Rolled a 6. Great success! You snatch the mini-hakkero out of Marisa's grasp, and fire it at a fairy.
>The laser takes out the fairy, and a sizable chunk of wall.
>Cool. You give Marisa back her mini-hakkero.
> "Utsuho, do you think that reactor is nuclear-powered?"
>Utsuho frowns. "No, that one isn't. I think it's weird magic stuff."
>"Mushrooms," Marisa explains. "Magic mushrooms."
> Try and dissect one of Alice's sentient flying robots.
> Casually hear something about a sentient grimoire. Feel the urge to examine its brain for SCIENCE!
>You try to dissect one of Alice's robots with your trusty wrench.
>You roll a 1. The robot explodes, sending you flying into a bookshelf.
>"Yeah," Alice explains. "They're filled with gunpowder."
>Sentient grimoires obviously have nothing to do with science! That's stupid magic stuff again!
Mokou
> "What?! Marisa is a redhead?! You've gotta be kidding, right?"
> Set Marisa's hair on decorative fire. "You mean, like this, Rika?"
> Realize it isn't the right time for silly shenanigans.
>Marisa flails around in a panic, and you realize that decorative fire only works on yourself. You put her hair out.
>You roll a 1. This is the perfect time for silly shenanigans! Any time is shenanigan time!
>Except for Kaguya killing time, but that's practically a given.
> Rika - show embarrassing pictures of red-headed Marisa to Mokou.
>Well, (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=444906) that certainly is a silly picture.
>Marisa blushes in embarrassment.
>"Oh?" you tease, "Is the ordinary witch embarrassed about her childhood?"
>"Hey!" Marisa glares at you. "I've been in the incident-solving business ever since I had blonde hair!"
>"Looks red to me in this picture!" you tease her.
> Casually hear something about a sentient grimoire. That's not really unexpected, is it? Fixed. *grumbles*
> Have Alice show her grimoire to Patchouli and Satori.
> Let Hina have a peek at it, too. She should check the grimoire for curses.
>Alice is already showing Patchouli and Satori the grimoire.
>You ask Hina about it. She shakes her head. "Nope. It's not any curse. I blame weird magic being weird."
> Interrogate Marisa about the incident at hand, the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> Let Patchouli have her way with that thieving witch. Watch gleefully until it is ready.
> Discuss possible plans of action with the Sukusuku Hakutaku.
>You interrogate Marisa, but then Satori hijacks the interrogation.
>You roll a 6, but Patchouli has already dragged Marisa off. You cannot watch from where you stand, but you do hear the mayhem.
"C'mon, Patch! I'm just borrowing them!"
"Besides, I don't have my reactor, anymore."
"Well, that was a lie, but still!"
>Patchouli's voice echoes through the library. "Sun Sign 'Royal Flare'!"
>You can see some of the glorious fireworks.
>You roll a 1. Your discussion with the sukusuku hakutaku falls flat as you realize that it does not, in fact, talk.
>You're so lonely.
> Check if Rika knows or has made some kind of remote communication device. Bugging Yukari about that is out of the question.
> Tell Rika about Yukari. She's so clueless...
>"Say, Rika?"
>"Yeah?"
>"Do you have a remote communication device? Something like Yukari would have?"
>"Sure! Got several, in fact! Not sure who this Yukari person is, but still!" Rika rummages through her TSMS and pulls out a couple of strange handheld devices.
>You take two of the devices. She doesn't know who Yukari is? Where has this girl been?
>You explain who Yukari is to Rika. She frowns. "So basically, she cheats at life."
>"Yeah."
> Actually discussing that with the rest of the party is a better idea.
> Think about the optimal way to split up the party for further investigations.
>You think about optimal ways to split the party. Satori ignores you completely and decides it all randomly. Hey!
>Well, at least you handed out the communication thingy. Now, you, Satori, and Rika each have one.
>You're with the green-haired shrine maiden, the wheelbarrow cat, and Satori's sister.
>Where shall your group go?
-
> Mokou - Wonder if Satori is trying to stick us with everyone that annoys her.
> Satori - Respond to Mokou's musings.
> Begin by searching Patchouli's collection of RPG rulebooks for sentience.
> Rika - Look through Patchouli's collection of books on modern military weaponry for inspiration.
-
Everyone
> Get out of the castle.
> Do not feel sorry for the ordinary formerly redhead magician.
> Red-headed Marisa. That's hilarious!
Rika
> Give Mokou and Satori accurate instructions on how to use your handheld communication devices.
> Call them "cell phones" for short. Thank goodness it isn't an acronym this time.
> Hop in the tank, ignoring the Chinese gatekeeper napping on it. What was her name again?
> Lift off. To the Human Village! A huge incident requires a huge tank! ... Or just a bigger tank than S.A.T.O.R.I.N.
> Talk about robotics and the grimoire's AI with Alice along the way.
> Shoot any red-white-shrine-maiden-ish figure on sight.
> As soon as we get back to the base, park S.A.T.O.R.I.N. and ask Rikako for a status report on the tanks and any new contraption we're currently working on.
> Hide everything that can be used as a bed. This should keep our sleepy companion(s) in check.
> Choose a random tank and go greet our old friend (?) Yuukarin!
> Load the tank's main cannon with a couple of Alice's robots dolls.
Satori
> Keep Koishi away from the "cell phone".
> Read the "cell phone"'s mind.
> Set off to find Chiri.
> Ask Hina for directions. After all, Chiri needs Hina's services on a regular basis, if we remember correctly.
> "Yes, Okuu. After all the trouble she's caused, she owes you at the very least some boiled eggs."
> Watch out for ineffective deathtraps. If they can't be avoided, Utsuho can blast them away.
> If Chiri is in sight, approach and engage her. Be diplomatic.
> Read her memories in order to make a Recollection spell.
> Ask Chiri about the incident, coin-flipping and that weird grimoire.
> Watch Chiri's display of great misfortune.
> Watch Hina collect huge amount of misfortune.
> Remind Utsuho that misfortune is not made of eggs.
Mokou
> Distract Koishi with the Sukusuku Hakutaku
> Test the "cell phone". Try and call Kaguya.
> Go after Yukari. She's definitely fooling around again.
> End up underground because of Koishi.
> Do not resist the sudden craving for tea.
> Call Satori. Koishi must be constantly kept in check, and we don't have the patience for that.
> Well, since we're there...
> Ask the oni and the Bridge Princess about the incident.
> Distract the Bridge Princess with the Sukusuku Hakutaku.
> Ask Orin to gather all the equipment she deems useful for solving incidents.
> Ditch Koishi.
> Get back to the surface and go after Yukari. Watch out for falling bucket youkai along the way.
> Assist Sanae in youkai hunting.
-
>Grimoire of Alice: Be hungry
>Satori: Start Gensokyo's First Book-Burning.
-
Mokou: Slap Satori
Rika: Slap Satori
Satori: Slap Satori
Utsuho: DO SOMETHING!
-
> Everyone: Don Santa hats and say "Merry Christmas Laser Turtle!"
> Or just do their actions and stuff. That's cool too.
-
>Grimoire of Alice: Be hungry
>Satori: Start Gensokyo's First Book-Burning.
Are you ever gonna cut it out with the 'Be Hungry' thing? it's getting annoying.
>Satori - Wait, why would we burn books? They're valuable resources, even the living ones.
-
Missing: My motivation
Last seen: Eh, I'm too lazy to remember
Reward: More frequent updates
> Everyone: Don Santa hats and say "Merry Christmas Laser Turtle!"
> Or just do their actions and stuff. That's cool too.
>Everyone breaks the fourth wall to wish LaserTurtle a merry Christmas.
>He's thankful for the gesture, but, really, do you know how hard it is to clean up the fragments of fourth wall left around the place?
>Yeah. This is what some people do on their off days. Fix fourth walls across universes.
>So, yeah, while this is all rather belated and nice wouldn't be late is SOMEONE had gotten his butt into gear a few days ago (quiet Koishi, don't break the fourth wall more than you usually do), you're sort of saddling the janitors of the multiverse some extra work.
>Still, it's the thought that counts, right?
Utsuho: DO SOMETHING!
>Parsee stumbles back to her job the morning (or two mornings. Three? Whatever.) after the Christmas party. Yup. More commands.
>She really needs some assistants helping her out. Chibi Parsees, maybe? There are some around here, right?
>For now, though...
>Utsuho does stuff of her own free will. She is not a puppet to play around with!
>But yeah. She's going to be doing something, so I guess you can count it as a moral victory...?
>Grimoire of Alice: Be hungry
>Whoa no. Parsee's not even going to start on how ridiculous that would be. Really, why would a book need food in the first place?
>Magic book, remember?
>Parsee shoves the grimoire back to its side of the fourth wall. Really, the Underground is a mess. More so than usual, anyway.
>And what's with all those "Missing: My Motivation" posters? What wise guy would think that missing posters will help locate an aspect of him that didn't exist much in the first place?
Rika
> Rika - Look through Patchouli's collection of books on modern military weaponry for inspiration.
>You roll a 2 and start looking through transcribed archives about modern popular culture.
>You just might have a way of creating a roflcopter that generates enough lift to fly, actually...
>Well, you wouldn't say that it was a total failure. You do have a new tank design planned out.
>It will be a giant cat. The ammunition will be food objects, particularly cookies or cheeseburgers. The meowing will be a sonic weapon - oh wait that is entirely stupid.
>Stupid dice.
Rika: Slap Satori
>You roll a 1. Critical failure! You slap yourself.
>Your face stings now.
> Get out of the castle.
> Do not feel sorry for the ordinary formerly redhead magician.
> Red-headed Marisa. That's hilarious!
>You roll a 2. Huh. Well, you can sympathize with Marisa. Perhaps you two aren't as different as you think.
>She's a completely bonkers kleptomaniac witch girl and you're a logical, rational scientist and upstanding citizen, but other than that, you have things in common!
>Like...
>...
>...um.
>"You both are human girls," Satori points out helpfully.
>Right! You two are both human and of the female persuasion! There's a start!
>But yeah. Red-headed Marisa could only be topped by that ridiculous shade of purple Reimu's hair used to be.
> Give Mokou and Satori accurate instructions on how to use your handheld communication devices.
> Call them "cell phones" for short. Thank goodness it isn't an acronym this time.
>You roll a 1. Your explanation works and is completely wrong in every single way.
>"So, you press this button here to call for someone. The signal sends out microwaves into the air, which fry your brain until you receive the illusion that the person on the other side has responded. Your electromagnetic-wave-addled head will eventually synchronize realities with the person who receives the signal, due to quantum stuff that is too complicated to be explained logically. The working end result is that it lets you talk with anyone else who has a device like it. Any questions?"
>"Oh, and they're cell phones. It's a good name for them. Just call them that."
>Sanae raises her hand. "I don't think that's how outside world cell phones work..."
>"Yes, well, we're in Gensokyo. Weird stuff happens here," you reply.
>Sanae nods thoughtfully. She seems to have followed your logic.
> Hop in the tank, ignoring the Chinese gatekeeper napping on it. What was her name again?
> Lift off. To the Human Village! A huge incident requires a huge tank! ... Or just a bigger tank than S.A.T.O.R.I.N.
> Talk about robotics and the grimoire's AI with Alice along the way.
> Shoot any red-white-shrine-maiden-ish figure on sight.
>You open the hatch of S.A.T.O.R.I.N. and hop in. Komachi takes a seat on the tank, and Alice gets her dolls all ready for a trip.
As you lift off, the gatekeeper is reminded again that her nap break ended 1 week hour ago.
>Your first stop is the Human Village! Rolled a 4. You fly around a bit before realizing that a programming error made the tank think that going west was actually going north.
>"So, Alice," you strike up a conversation, "What is your Grimoire's A.I.?"
>"Ay-Eye?"
>"Artificial Intelligence. Faking a person's thought processes. I program it into my robots some times."
>Alice stays silent for a minute or two, then starts talking again. "My grimoire says that it is not artificial like, I quote, 'your stupid science stuff.' It has to do with magical power. Magical entities eventually gain enough magic of their own to become a living being, albeit one that does not need sustenance such as food or drink."
>"Oh, well then it's just stupid magic stuff," you conclude.
>Alice nods. "Stupid magic stuff, indeed."
>Komachi yawns. "Believe me, faith has it much worse off than both of your guy's systems. Trust me, it's not good realizing that you're supposed to look like some sort of skeleton in a cowl on some artist's whim. I've got a hard time keeping my appearances straight."
>Well, you've arrived at the village, at any case.
> Shoot any red-white-shrine-maiden-ish figure on sight.
>You see no red-white shrine maiden, only a red-white phoenix girl headed off with her group of 4 3 4 and a half 4 people.
>Still, you stay on the lookout for suspicious armpit mikos.
> As soon as we get back to the base, park S.A.T.O.R.I.N. and ask Rikako for a status report on the tanks and any new contraption we're currently working on.
> Hide everything that can be used as a bed. This should keep our sleepy companion(s) in check.
>You enter your lab through the back entrance to not cause a scene.
>Rikako looks up from her desk. "Ah. I see you're back with some companions."
>You introduce Alice and Komachi to her.
>In an attempt to prevent Komachi from sleeping, you hide everything soft enough to sleep upon.
>Your attempt has rolled a 2. Komachi promptly falls asleep in your swivel chair.
>"So, how are my inventions?" you ask Rikako.
>"Exactly the same as you left them. I do have to wonder: Are you ever going to finish that optical camoflauge tank?"
>Ah, yes. The optical camouflage - wait.
>You never started building a tank like that.
>Someone's been in your lab, building your tanks.
>WHO COULD IT BE?
>But seriously, you would like to know.
> Choose a random tank and go greet our old friend (?) Yuukarin!
> Load the tank's main cannon with a couple of Alice's robots dolls.
>You select Evil Eye Sigma 2.0 randomly. "To wherever 'Yuukarin' is!" you announce.
>Alice freezes. "Do you, by any chance, mean Yuuka?"
>Komachi wakes up just in time to join in the conversation. She thinks about it. "Well that or Yukari. I'm placing my bets on Yuuka, though."
>"Well, of course I meant Yuuka!" you shout. "I remember she started some sort of incident, so maybe she's behind this one!"
>Alice sighs. "Great. Well, you tell me how that goes."
>Komachi grabs Alice with her scythe. She grins. "Don't tell me you're afraid of the big bad flower youkai~!"
>You have no idea what they're talking about. Wasn't Yuuka some sort of powerful sleepy youkai?
>Speaking of having no idea, where is Yuuka?
>Maybe this idea wasn't as good as you thought.
Mokou
Mokou: Slap Satori
>You roll a 5. You give Satori a solid slap for no reason at all.
>Satori glares at Koishi. Rika seems to have slapped herself.
> Mokou - Wonder if Satori is trying to stick us with everyone that annoys her.
>"No, I'm not," Satori explains. "It's all determined randomly. Any unfavorable companions are due to your own bad luck."
> Get out of the castle.
> Do not feel sorry for the ordinary formerly redhead magician.
> Red-headed Marisa. That's hilarious!
>You roll a 2 and feel sorry for Marisa. You have no idea why.
>But yes, Marisa being a redhead is rather entertaining.
> Distract Koishi with the Sukusuku Hakutaku
> Test the "cell phone". Try and call Kaguya.
>You roll a 3. Koishi is sufficiently distracted by the sukusuku hakutaku.
>...well. You're surprised that the sukusuku hakutaku can support Koishi's weight.
>You roll a 6 and call Kaguya even though it should be impossible.
>"Hey, Kaguya! Guess who can bother you from long distances!"
>"SHUT UP MOKOU! NOW IS NOT THE TIME! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THIS NUMBER?"
>This cell phone is the coolest thing ever.
>Although it sounded like Kaguya was in the middle of a fight. Strange.
>In Eientei, the residents are fleeing from a storm of homing amulets. Reimu was bored again.
> Go after Yukari. She's definitely fooling around again.
>When in doubt, Yukari is the culprit. Well, it works for Reimu!
>You head off towards the border in the hopes of finding Yukari's house.
> End up underground because of Koishi.
> Do not resist the sudden craving for tea.
>Koishi shenanigans have obviously taken place. Yukari's house was not underground, the last time you checked.
>"What are we doing down here?" Sanae asks.
>"Don't ask me," you grumble. "Ask Satori's crazy sister."
>The sister in question is currently getting a wheelbarrow ride from Rin.
>You feel a sudden craving for tea. At first you resist it. But then you roll a 4, so that plan goes in favor of getting tea.
>"Actually, tea would be quite nice right now." Sanae speaks up while sipping her tea.
>You take a sip of your tea. Yes. Tea does have a calming effect. Maybe what you need right now is a relaxing cup of tea.
>Wait.
>Stupid Koishi.
> Call Satori. Koishi must be constantly kept in check, and we don't have the patience for that.
> Well, since we're there...
> Ask the oni and the Bridge Princess about the incident.
>You call Satori and roll a 5. The call connects you with...
>...Koishi. "Hello, Mokou? How did you get this number?" Koishi asks innocently.
>Friggin' subconscious manipulations. You hang up.
>Well, now that you're here, you might as well make the most of it.
>"Huh? What about this incident?" Yuugi asks. "It hasn't really changed much here."
>"After all," Parsee grumbles, "We never do anything worthwhile, anyway."
>Yuugi grins. "On the plus side, parties get a lot more wild!"
>Parsee grumbles again. "We never do anything but party. The oni are tiresome. Plus my job and all. I really hope that the chibi is doing everything right."
> Distract the Bridge Princess with the Sukusuku Hakutaku.
> Ask Orin to gather all the equipment she deems useful for solving incidents.
>You decide that the bridge princess needs something cute and distracting. Commence Operation Hakutaku!
>The Parsee is completely distracted by the sukusuku hakutaku.
>Yuugi stares at the scene. "Well, it's not every day that you see the grouchy bridge princess lighten up."
>Rin salutes. "All equipment ready and accounted for! Got my shovel, spray paint, lighter fluid, portable wheelbarrow, and laser pointer!"
>You're not so sure that any of the stuff that Rin has brought will be needed, but whatever.
> Ditch Koishi.
>You ditch Koishi.
>Then you realize that something like that would probably need to be rolled.
>Dangit, Koishi.
> Get back to the surface and go after Yukari. Watch out for falling bucket youkai along the way.
> Assist Sanae in youkai hunting.
>Well, now that your pit stop is finished, you might as well go over to Yukari. On the way up, you watch for bucket youkai.
>You roll a 6 and notice the bucket youkai with unparalleled skill.
>Unfortunately, that skill does not go into dodging the bucket youkai. You fail at that.
>Your head hurts now.
>Sanae is laughing at you. Koishi is giggling.
>You feel like Sanae should be exterminating youkai, so you start with attacking Koishi.
>"Forgiveness 'Honest Man's Death'!"
>Sanae notices what you're doing and decides to join in the fun. "Miracle 'God's Wind'!"
>Koishi announces her counterattack, too. "Depths 'Genetics of the Subconscious'~!"
>Your team may have teamwork issues.
Satori
> Satori - Respond to Mokou's musings.
> Begin by searching Patchouli's collection of RPG rulebooks for sentience.
>You explain to Mokou that you cannot be held responsible for any companions that she gets.
>The search starts by you searching the RPG rulebooks section of the Library. You roll a 19. Successful search, but you find nothing.
>Mokou slaps you for some reason.
Satori: Slap Satori
>What? Slap yourself? That'd be stupid!
>Wait, you rolled a 15. Dangit.
>You slap yourself. It hurts.
> Get out of the castle.
> Do not feel sorry for the ordinary formerly redhead magician.
> Red-headed Marisa. That's hilarious!
>You roll a 9 and only feel sorry for Marisa within acceptable ranges.
>You already knew that Marisa used to be a redhead from when she barged into the Palace of the Earth Spirits way back when Utsuho was planning on taking over Gensokyo.
>It is just as hilarious as you first found it.
> Keep Koishi away from the "cell phone".
> Read the "cell phone"'s mind.
>You keep Koishi away from the cell phone.
>The cell phone has no mind that you can read, but it was worth a shot.
>Why did you roll a 12? Did that mean...?
>Oh yeah. Koishi.
>Dangit Koishi.
>Well, it's too late to prevent her now.
>Satori: Start Gensokyo's First Book-Burning.
>Satori - Wait, why would we burn books? They're valuable resources, even the living ones.
>You think books are a pretty cool guy. eh stores knowledge and doesn't afraid of anything.
>Koishi is really getting on your nerves. You're just glad that she's not grouped with you.
> Set off to find Chiri.
> Ask Hina for directions. After all, Chiri needs Hina's services on a regular basis, if we remember correctly.
>"Oh, Chiri?" Hina wonders. "I haven't seen her recently, either. Funny, with all the stuff happening around the place, you would think that she'd be visiting me more than ever." I wonder if she's being held prisoner or something...
> "Yes, Okuu. After all the trouble she's caused, she owes you at the very least some boiled eggs."
> Watch out for ineffective deathtraps. If they can't be avoided, Utsuho can blast them away.
>You watch out for ineffective deathtraps and roll a 5.
>There are no deathtraps in sight. Mainly because you are in front of a dark cave.
>"Really?" Utsuho brightens up. "Yay!" Eggs! I get more eggs!
>She is so happy about this news that she fires off a laser for good measure. Well, that's one way to illuminate a cave.
>...And a good way to disable all the deathtraps. Very, VERY good.
> If Chiri is in sight, approach and engage her. Be diplomatic.
> Read her memories in order to make a Recollection spell.
> Ask Chiri about the incident, coin-flipping and that weird grimoire.
> Watch Chiri's display of great misfortune.
> Watch Hina collect huge amount of misfortune.
> Remind Utsuho that misfortune is not made of eggs.
>Chiri is nowhere to be seen. This entire string of commands is useless.
>Still, you have a very dark cave to be entered. There's a start.
-
LaserTurtle, I don't know if this is going to give you some of your motivation back, but I'm telling you anyway. This game is loads of fun, and you're doing an incredibly good job at keeping it entertaining. Your latest update in particular made my sides hurt from laughing :V
I'll edit this post later with my usual wall of commands :V
Rika
> Perform the usual routine system checks on Evil Eye Sigma 2.0
> Scan the base for invisible or cloaked guests. Recruit them if successful.
> Go wherever Yuuka is! Let Komachi lead the way.
> Prod Komachi periodically to keep her awake.
> Talk to Alice. Prove to her that magic and technology are basically the same thing. Refer to Komachi as a meatshield.
> Be on the lookout for poison clouds. If there are any, enter one of them in order to test Evil Eye Sigma 2.0's environmental shielding.
> If there are poison clouds: watch Alice's reactions and tease her.
> Find Yuuka and approach her! Peacefully, if possible.
> If under attack, check out how good Komachi is as a meatshield.
> Talk to Yuuka about the incident, the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> As a joke, tell Yuuka that the incident at hand is Alice's fault.
> Let Yuuka join the party, for old times' sake! Now we can go destroy anything and everything, especially the annoying red-white Shrine Maiden!
> If Yuuka is recruited, brag about it with Satori and Mokou on the phone. Watch everyone's reactions.
> Wait, where should we go now? Ask Yuuka, then go wherever she says!
Huziwara no Mokou
> Demonstrate your ability to resurrect in order to impress Koishi and irritate Sanae.
> Wonder around until we get lost, then find Mayohiga.
> Koishi should be of help for that... she's too unreliable, though. We need to make her do what we want one way or another.
> Here's an idea! "Koishi, could you make ourselves lost so we can all go on a great exciting adventure together? It'll be fun, I promise!"
> Get to Mayohiga. Enter it and look for catgirls. We should find Chen here, if our memory serves us right.
> If Chen isn't there, go wherever Koishi wants unless it's underground, then ignore the following commands.
> Prevent Sanae from exterminating Chen.
> Prevent Koishi from glomping and petting Chen.
> Ask Chen for an audience with Yukari (or Ran if the old hag is asleep). Make liberal use of fire if negotiations are unsuccessful.
> Let Chen play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku as a last resort.
> On second thought, let her play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku even if we get our audience with the higher-ups.
> Discuss the incident at hand, the Coin-Flipping incident and the related grimoire with the Yakumos.
> Give Sanae a taste of our fire if she gets restless. Seriously, she should stay put, stick with us and let the Shrine Maiden handle youkai extermination.
> Facepalm. She's a shrine maiden, too. Dangit.
Satorin~
> Notice that we're back to our loli self. Be disappointed.
> Delve into the cave!
> Since she can detect misfortune, let Hina lead the way.
> Read all the signs we find. Smirk at each of them.
> It is pitch dark. We are likely to be eaten by Rumia.
> Well, that isn't our problem. Utsuho is a convenient light source.
> As for Rumia, we can deal with her just fine. Greet her if we bump into her (or SHE bumps into US) then keep going: we have no time to lose.
> As a challenge, think of out-of-the-ordinary ways to avoid or destroy any deathtraps in the way.
> Watch as Utsuho blasts through them. That works, too...
> Inventory check. Have we got something to stop Utsuho nagging us for eggs?
> Gracefully accept Hina's sympathy.
> If Chiri is in sight, approach and engage her. Be diplomatic.
> Read her memories in order to make a Recollection spell.
> Ask Chiri about the incident, coin-flipping and that weird grimoire.
> Watch Chiri's display of great misfortune.
> Watch Hina collect huge amounts of misfortune.
> Remind Utsuho that misfortune is not made of eggs.
-
> Don't worry, after a while it becomes a compulsion. :) ... ;_;
Yep, this quest is fun, and I hope you find your motivation soon. I'd look behind the couch.
> Rika - Realize you should really leave your home more often.
> Just listen to whatever Komachi and Sanae suggest.
> Realize Sanae's suggestion doesn't make any sense and seriously consider Komachi's suggestion of letting someone else handle it, if appropriate.
> Recall reason for being involved in incident.
> Check Sigma 2's status.
> Check out optical camoflauge tank you forgot you invented.
> Mokou - Continue working out teamwork issues with healthy displays of extreme aggression.
> Think of it as a teambuilding exercise.
> Satori - Recall how you found yourself in front of cave. Weren't we just in a library?
> Didn't that Remilia person turn Chiri into her maid or something? Let's ask Remilia.
> If succeed in finding Remilia, "accidentally" cause her to lose her perfect composure.
-
Hooray! Happy new year's eve everyone!
I hope you're not superstitious, or 2013's going to be one heck of a bad year!
> Just listen to whatever Komachi and Sanae suggest.
> Realize Sanae's suggestion doesn't make any sense and seriously consider Komachi's suggestion of letting someone else handle it, if appropriate.
>The Command Chibi-Parsee checks the paperwork again. Nope. Rika is not with Sanae.
>These commands need to be corrected!
Satori
> Satori - Recall how you found yourself in front of cave. Weren't we just in a library?
>Well, yes you were. You left the Scarlet Devil Mansion to search for Chiri.
>And the best way to search for Chiri is to wander around the nondescript lands of Gensokyo.
> Didn't that Remilia person turn Chiri into her maid or something? Let's ask Remilia.
> If succeed in finding Remilia, "accidentally" cause her to lose her perfect composure.
>You roll a 10. Nope. You do not find Remilia. But it's still a half success so...
>You manage to call Remilia using your cell phone. She doesn't answer (not surprising. You don't think she has a cell phone), but you leave a message.
>"Hey, Remilia? It's Satori. What do you know about Chiri? You know, that youkai of quantum geography? I seem to remember you made her a maid for a while."
> Notice that we're back to our loli self. Be disappointed.
>You roll a 3. Failure!
>You don't notice at all that you have returned to your normal not-grown-up self.
>Shame it wasn't a critical failure, though. Then you would have not noticed it so badly that it wouldn't have happened.
> Delve into the cave!
> Since she can detect misfortune, let Hina lead the way.
>You enter the cave. It's not exactly pitch black. You're starting to wish you wandered the caves more often.
>Living in a giant well-lit palace doesn't help your night vision. You're not sure you can make out anything in this darkness.
>You decide with a roll of 16 to let Hina lead the way. A trail of misfortune should guide you to Chiri.
>Hina leads the way, but it ends up being way too dark to see.
> Read all the signs we find. Smirk at each of them.
> It is pitch dark. We are likely to be eaten by Rumia.
>You roll a 2. You can't read any signs in this darkness!
Is that so~?
> Well, that isn't our problem. Utsuho is a convenient light source.
> As for Rumia, we can deal with her just fine. Greet her if we bump into her (or SHE bumps into US) then keep going: we have no time to lose.
>"Utsuho, can you light the place up for us?"
>"Sure thing, Satori!" I get to be useful! Yay!
>Utsuho creates a miniature star. Convenient.
>The inside of the cave is not light enough for you to see.
>Just to be sure, you do a thought-headcount to make sure your entire party is there.
Useful~ useful~ Okuu is useful! Yay! Do I get eggs?
Still, where is Chiri? I can't see her anywhere... her misfortune trail still goes on.
Hah! These unwary travelers can't see me in the darkness, because I can't see me, and if I can't see me, they can't either!
>"Hello, Rumia," you greet the ball of darkness.
> As a challenge, think of out-of-the-ordinary ways to avoid or destroy any deathtraps in the way.
> Watch as Utsuho blasts through them. That works, too...
>You roll a 12. For the deathtraps ahead, you have the start of a plan to make them all disable or set off each other...
>"Ooh! More deathtraps!" Utsuho notices. "Incinerate~!" Lasers!
>Well that works too.
>You can't help but feel that Chiri would throw a fit if she saw Utsuho brute-forcing her way through the traps again.
> Inventory check. Have we got something to stop Utsuho nagging us for eggs?
> Gracefully accept Hina's sympathy.
>You have no inventory! Who do you think you are? Some sort of maid with a time shenanigan maid storage?
>In your pocket, though, you have a boiled egg, but that's only for use in emergencies.
>You roll a 2 and reject Hina's sympathy completely. She'll give no sympathy to you!
>Hina shrugs. "Well, if you're okay with it..." Sheesh, try and be nice...
>Chiri is still nowhere in sight, but the cave now splits into three paths and a service elevator.
Rika
> Rika - Realize you should really leave your home more often.
>You roll a 5 and realize that you miss all the exciting stuff by staying shut in your home.
> Just listen to whatever Komachi and SanaeAlice suggest.
> Realize SanaeAlice's suggestion doesn't make any sense and seriously consider Komachi's suggestion of letting someone else handle it, if appropriate.
>You roll a 6 and listen to Komachi and Alice's take on things.
>"Well," Komachi yawns, "We could always let someone else fix this."
>"No!" Alice announces. "We must conquer Gensokyo! With my army and your tanks we shall be unbeatable!"
>You roll a 6 to realize Alice's suggestion makes no sense.
>How would that help solve the incident, anyway?
> Recall reason for being involved in incident.
>Rolled a 3. Huh? Why were you involved again?
>Ah well. You'll remember it sooner or later.
> Check Sigma 2's status.
> Perform the usual routine system checks on Evil Eye Sigma 2.0
>You roll a 3. Everything seems to be in order. It's still slightly damaged from the test run, but nothing a few spare parts couldn't fix!
> Check out optical camoflauge tank you forgot you invented.
>Ah yes. The optical camouflage tank, your magnum opus. Or something.
>You know, you never actually built anything remotely close to this.
>Well except for that one time, but that tank exploded, so it doesn't count!
> Scan the base for invisible or cloaked guests. Recruit them if successful.
>Truly this must be the work of someone who is skilled at cloaking devices!
>Such a person might even be in this room right now!
>This requires a scan of the room! You roll a 5 and find a hidden kappa in a corner.
>"Hello! Do you like the tank?" Nitori grins.
Nitori Kawashiro has joined your party!
> Go wherever Yuuka is! Let Komachi lead the way.
> Prod Komachi periodically to keep her awake.
> Talk to Alice. Prove to her that magic and technology are basically the same thing. Refer to Komachi as a meatshield.
>You roll a 2. You refuse to let Komachi lead the way to Yuuka, even though she knows where to go! You'll find that youkai yourself! To Evil Eye Sigma 2.0!
>You roll a 5 and set up an auto-poking system to keep the shinigami awake.
>Komachi doesn't like this. You can't imagine why.
>You prove to Alice that magic and science are the same with the help of a roll of 1.
>"You see, Alice, magic and science are basically the same, because science is the rational system of methodical testing. Magic works by stupid magic stuff. The end result is that stuff goes boom. Exactly the same, see?"
>Alice is not convinced. Strange.
>Shame you couldn't work the Komachi-meatshield angle in your argument. Maybe some other time.
>Well, you rolled a 6, in regards to finding Yuuka at least.
>Why are you in some giant sunflower field?
> Be on the lookout for poison clouds. If there are any, enter one of them in order to test Evil Eye Sigma 2.0's environmental shielding.
> If there are poison clouds: watch Alice's reactions and tease her.
>You roll a 5. There are no poison clouds. The field is clear of toxins!
>Your super advanced scanning software has detected no poisonous clouds with 100% accuracy.
>"And there are no poison clouds in sight. That's an easy way to tell," Alice points out. Spoilsport.
> Find Yuuka and approach her! Peacefully, if possible.
> If under attack, check out how good Komachi is as a meatshield.
>There she is! (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=904620)
>Well she has green hair at any rate.
>Time to put your peaceful approach skills to the test! You roll a 3.
>"Hey! Yuuka! You're behind the incident, so own up!"
>She glares at you. "Oh? You're that other scientist, aren't you? The tank girl? Are you by yourself?"
>"Not in the slightest!" You gesture to where your companions used... to... be...
>Komachi is standing far away. How'd she get there so fast?
>Nitori is invisible. Sneaky kappa...
>Alice is gone and replaced with a completely innocent pile of dolls. Or she could be under them. You can't tell.
>"...Well anyway! My point still stands!"
> Talk to Yuuka about the incident, the Coin-Flipping Incident and the related grimoire.
> As a joke, tell Yuuka that the incident at hand is Alice's fault.
>"Well, I can't fess up to something if I don't know what I'm owning up to!" Yuuka laughs. "So, explain!"
>You deliver a stunning, rolled-a-6 explanation. Yuuka nods periodically throughout it.
>"...and the whole thing is Alice's fault," you finish with a flourish. "Even putting hats on stone statues."
>"Whoa! Stop right there!" Alice bursts out from her pile of dolls. "It's not my fault in the slightest! Why does everyone think I put hats on stone statues anyway?"
> Let Yuuka join the party, for old times' sake! Now we can go destroy anything and everything, especially the annoying red-white Shrine Maiden!
> If Yuuka is recruited, brag about it with Satori and Mokou on the phone. Watch everyone's reactions.
> Wait, where should we go now? Ask Yuuka, then go wherever she says!
>"Well, this is certainly an interesting group," Yuuka smiles. "Perhaps I shall tag along."
Yuuka Kazami has joined your party!
>Man, you are on a roll! Wait until Satori and Mokou see all the party members you have!
>In fact, you'll call them right now!
>You roll a 2. Neither of them answer.
>"So, where are we going next?" you ask.
>"I thought you would know," Yuuka points out mildly.
>"Well, you were sort of my only lead so..."
>Yuuka sighs. "I was expecting that you would have some idea. You better pick some place soon."
Mokou
> Mokou - Continue working out teamwork issues with healthy displays of extreme aggression.
> Think of it as a teambuilding exercise.
>You roll a 2. Your aggression seems to have died out, but you can't stop now!
>This teambuilding exercise is one unmatched by anyone! Not even the crazy moon people have teambuilding exercises as cool as this!
> Demonstrate your ability to resurrect in order to impress Koishi and irritate Sanae.
>You roll a 1. No matter how hard you try to run into bullets to show off your immortality, you can't!
>On the plus side, you're impressing everyone with your dodging.
>All the spellcards have timed out. Rin claps appreciatively.
> Wonder around until we get lost, then find Mayohiga.
> Koishi should be of help for that... she's too unreliable, though. We need to make her do what we want one way or another.
> Here's an idea! "Koishi, could you make ourselves lost so we can all go on a great exciting adventure together? It'll be fun, I promise!"
>You can't get lost on command! You'll need a Koishi to do that, and she doesn't seem willing...
>But with the right spin on things...
>You roll a 6! "Koishi. Our mission is to get so lost that we find Mayohiga. Can you manage, sergeant?"
>"Roger that, Snake. Operation Cardboard Gear Solid is go."
>She grabs the sukusuku hakutaku and hops into Rin's wheelbarrow. "I shall lead the way! Follow the cat with the wheelbarrow!"
>Sanae pulls you aside. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"
>"None at all!" you reply. "I won't let that stop us, though! After that cat!"
>You fly off after Rin, cackling madly.
>You hear Sanae behind you. "Hey! Wait up!"
> Get to Mayohiga. Enter it and look for catgirls. We should find Chen here, if our memory serves us right.
TIMESKIP!
>You think you might have accidentally gone through the Hakurei Barrier.
>Ah well. You'll find the way back some way or another.
TIMESKIP! Again.
>And you are finally at Mayohiga! Go idiotic subconscious tactics!
>You roll a 3 and find a catgirl.
>Wait no. That's Rin.
>"Looking for someone?" a voice from behind you purrs.
> Prevent Sanae from exterminating Chen.
> Prevent Koishi from glomping and petting Chen.
>Sanae notices Chen. "Youkai! I shall exterminate!"
>Thankfully for everyone involved, you roll a 5. You grab Sanae before she pulls out a spellcard.
>"No. Keep your shrine-maidenly instincts at bay. This cat is a valuable source of information!"
>The cat in question is shrieking. "Get her off! She's licking me!"
>Whoops. You pull Koishi off of Chen with some effort.
>Well, better late than never.
> Ask Chen for an audience with Yukari (or Ran if the old hag is asleep). Make liberal use of fire if negotiations are unsuccessful.
> Let Chen play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku as a last resort.
> On second thought, let her play with the Sukusuku Hakutaku even if we get our audience with the higher-ups.
>"...So, we need to see Yukari," you explain to Chen. "Is she available?"
>Chen frowns. "But she's sleeping! Ran said not to bother Yukari if she's asleep!"
>"Well, what about Ran?"
>"I dunno..."
>Time to resort to desperate tactics. "I'll let you get a ride in Rin's wheelbarrow..."
>Chen frowns. "But..."
>"And play with the sukusuku hakutaku!" You pull out the sukusuku hakutaku from Rin's wheelbarrow.
>"Um..." Chen is wavering! You move in for the kill.
>"And I won't set you on fire if you do!"
>Chen is rather agreeable if you bargain with her.
>"Ran! Some fire lady wants to see you!" Chen calls. "It's about all this dice rolling that's going on!"
>She snatches the sukusuku hakutaku out of your hands and hugs it.
> Discuss the incident at hand, the Coin-Flipping incident and the related grimoire with the Yakumos.
> Give Sanae a taste of our fire if she gets restless. Seriously, she should stay put, stick with us and let the Shrine Maiden handle youkai extermination.
> Facepalm. She's a shrine maiden, too. Dangit.
>"I see..." Ran muses after you explain things to her. "I don't believe Yukari is behind this. She sleeps through most of the winter, after all."
>A gap opens behind Ran. "Ran! Are you trying to resolve Gensokyo's affairs without consulting your master?"
>Ran is flustered by Yukari's appearance. "I-I thought you would be sleeping!"
>Sanae is getting fidgety with all these youkai around. "C'mon!" she whines. "Can't I at least exterminate one?"
>You answer her question by setting her clothes on fire. "No. Leave the extermination to the shrine maidens."
>"But I am a shrine maiden!" Sanae wails. She's rolling on the ground and muttering to herself. "stop, drop, and roll. stop, drop, and roll. stop, drop, and roll..."
>Whoops. You put the fire out.
>Man, incident solving is harder than it seems. How does Reimu make it look so easy?
-
> Mokou - "Fine, But you only get to exterminate one of them *cough-Koishi-cough*."
> Wonder if it would really be so wrong to abandon both teammates and attempt to resolve quest on own.
> Satori - Follow that misfotune Hina is following!
> Trick Rumia into blinding herself too much to bother you.
> Rika - Wait, why do both Mokou and Satori have no reception?
> Well... we already checked with the sunflowers and the goddesses, so lets go beat up some Taoists next! Or Buddhists, whichever is closer.
> Actually, just do it like Reimu does and beat up all the things until the incident is resolved.
-
>Rika: Find a bunch of chibi-Rikas and have them build a new tank.
-
Rika [REDACTED], Ph.D.
> Why was Alice more concerned about putting hats on stone statues than the incident?
> Well, that's not our problem! We get to wreak havoc with our tank and nothing's gonna stop us!
> Assess the whole party's combined firepower. Consider Evil Eye Sigma 2.0 as a member of the party.
> To the Hakurei Shrine!
> Force Komachi to stay in the front line and tank the damage. No pun intended.
> Have one of Alice's dolls poke Komachi periodically to keep her awake. Just in case, you know. :V
> Ask Yuuka to act as a magic nuke.
> Ask Alice if it's appropriate to grind a couple of levels before reaching the shrine.
> Have Nitori cloak the whole party.
> Have Alice send a couple of cloaked dolls to scout the soon-to-be battlefield.
> Have Alice deploy an offensive doll formation.
> Make the red-white pay for what she did to the Flower Tank and Evil Eye Sigma! Charge towards the shrine at full speed and engage in a fair 5v1 danmaku battle!
> If victorious: brag about it with Mokou and Satori on the phone.
> Sit down with the red-white, have a tea, and discuss the incident and everything related to it.
> Call Mokou and Satori (again) in order to share information.
> Make Komachi shoot a couple of coins into Reimu's offertory box.
Then do this, whatever the outcome:
> Well... we already checked with the sunflowers and the goddesses, so lets go beat up some Taoists next! Or Buddhists, whichever is closer.
> Actually, just do it like Reimu does and beat up all the things until the incident is resolved.
Mokou of the Fujiwara Clan
> Yeah, how does Reimu make things look so easy? That's right! She beats up anything that moves!
> Do so with Koishi. Sanae will be glad to help!
> After our team-building exercise, ask Yukari to gap the party to the Myouren Temple.
> "Stop it, Sanae. Youkai are sources of information, for the time being. When extermination time comes, I'll let you know."
> Prevent Koishi's displays of affection towards the cute yamabiko sweeping outside the temple.
> Who's that yamabiko, anyway? Have we seen her before?
> Watch out for huge pink fists. Make sure Koishi is at the receiving end.
> Let Orin pick up corpses and recruit fairies.
> Do not be fooled by the second Orin with a raccoon tail.
> Think about recruiting the other Sukusuku Hakutaku with a raccoon tail the tanuki.
> Enter the temple and seek an audience with Byakuren.
> Talk about religious stuff with Sanae and Byakuren.
> Talk about the incident and whatever is related to it with the temple residents.
> Pool everyone's ideas about what to do next. Except Koishi's, of course.
> Maybe we've been a bit too harsh with Koishi. Let her play with the shapeshifters and Orin's zombie fairies for a little while.
Yukari
> Fool around again
Lady Satori Komeiji
> Recruit Rumia. Giggle at the thought of a battle of wits between her and Utsuho.
> Ask Utsuho to light up the three hallways. Take a look at the deathtraps in each of them.
> Take the service elevator anyway,
> Keep following the trail of misfortune with Hina's help.
> Read Rumia's mind as Utsuho demolishes all the deathtraps between Chiri and the party.
> Wait... where is Chiri? Try and detect her thoughts.
... and then again:
> If Chiri is in sight, approach and engage her. Be diplomatic.
> Read her memories in order to make a Recollection spell.
> Ask Chiri about the incident, coin-flipping and that weird grimoire.
> Watch Chiri's display of great misfortune.
> Watch Hina collect huge amounts of misfortune.
> Remind Utsuho that misfortune is not made of eggs.
-
Yukari
> Fool around again
>Yukari is too sleepy to fool around again. Besides, one person/youkai/whatever is already fooling around; there's no need to complicate things!
>The Chibi Parsee dutifully places this command in the incinerator pile.
Rika
>Rika: Find a bunch of chibi-Rikas and have them build a new tank.
>You roll a 3. There are no Chibi Rikas in sight. When you get into your tank, however, you find a Chibi Rika sitting in your seat.
>Partial victory? You stuff the miniature version of you into your TSMS for now.
> Rika - Wait, why do both Mokou and Satori have no reception?
>As you realize this, you attempt to take a guess why.
>You roll a 1. You think Mokou might be eaten by a giant frog. Satori might be unconscious.
>Really, you have no idea.
> Well... we already checked with the sunflowers and the goddesses, so lets go beat up some Taoists next! Or Buddhists, whichever is closer.
> Actually, just do it like Reimu does and beat up all the things until the incident is resolved.
>You will have to face off with that shrine maiden again some day or another, so you must emulate her tactics to later use them against her!
>Or something like that. You just want to get going before Yuuka decides to harm everyone just because.
> Why was Alice more concerned about putting hats on stone statues than the incident?
> Well, that's not our problem! We get to wreak havoc with our tank and nothing's gonna stop us!
>There are all these loose ends floating around in your mind! Truly troublesome, but you still have a tank.
>And at the end of the day, all that matters is how many things you got to destroy with your tank.
>And with that in mind...
> Assess the whole party's combined firepower. Consider Evil Eye Sigma 2.0 as a member of the party.
> To the Hakurei Shrine!
>Your rough estimate puts your party as just enough to take out a shrine maiden if she doesn't cheat.
>Only the best fighters get bestowed the title of shrine maiden, after all.
>Or, at least, that's what you think.
>Your religion studies were not comprehensive at all, in hindsight.
>But enough idle thoughts! To the Hakurei Shrine!
>...the 2 you rolled is not helping.
TIMESKIP!
>DANGIT HOW IS A SHRINE SO HARD TO FIND?
>You think you've been going around in circles, and the terrain is not helping.
>Why is everything made out of giant cubes? Where the heck are you?
>Yes. You have decided that you are hopelessly lost. This requires a meeting of all your personnel.
>You open the tank hatch to make an announcement. "Guys? We're lost."
>Alice sighs. "We've been lost. Where have we been trying to go, anyway?"
>Komachi yawns. "These blocks are troublesome. Can't find a comfy place to rest."
>Yuuka growls. "You have the navigational skills of a blindfolded turtle."
>Nitori shrugs. "Well, the quantum geography isn't letting up."
>"Well, I was going to the Hakurei Shrine, but I seem to have lost my way," you explain.
>Yuuka snorts. "That much is obvious."
>Komachi brightens up. "That's where you wanted to go? Why didn't you say so? I can get us all there in an instant!"
>She then proceeds to hook Alice, Nitori, and Yuuka with her scythe and put her other hand on your tank as she steps forward...
>...you feel like the fabric of space-time is crying...
>...and you all are in front of the Hakurei Shrine. Convenient.
> Ask Alice if it's appropriate to grind a couple of levels before reaching the shrine.
>Alice frowns as you explain the concept of level grinding to her. "We're already at the shrine. I'm sure that our combined might will be enough to handle anything coming our way."
> Force Komachi to stay in the front line and tank the damage. No pun intended.
> Have one of Alice's dolls poke Komachi periodically to keep her awake. Just in case, you know. :V
>"Why me?" Komachi complains. "Just because I've got the power to control distances, you want me to lead the assault?"
>She swats the doll assigned to poke her. "And I don't sleep that often!"
>"Hush! We have to commence our assault with the greatest of sneakiness!" you command her.
> Ask Yuuka to act as a magic nuke.
>"Magic...nuke? Strange. What would I do?"
>"Basically we threaten to use you if we don't get our way, but we won't actually use you because you're too destructive."
>"Now that's a bit silly, don't you think?"
>You ignore Yuuka's commentary and move on to the next member of your strike force.
> Have Nitori cloak the whole party.
> Have Alice send a couple of cloaked dolls to scout the soon-to-be battlefield.
> Have Alice deploy an offensive doll formation.
>Nitori grins. "Optical camouflage is already deployed, ma'am! Kappa technology at its finest!"
>You not. "Good, good. Alice, send out a couple of dolls to scout around. Get the rest of them in an offensive attack position."
>"I can't believe I'm cooperating," Alice sighs. She sends a few scouts out.
>After the brief scouting mission, Alice gives you her report. "The grounds are clear. Nobody is in plain sight."
>"How am I supposed to work with that?" you complain. "Fine. We'll have to make this a sneak attack."
>"And how are you going to do that?" someone asks.
>"Simple," you reply. "We're cloaked. The shrine maiden will never see it coming."
>You turn to address the speaker, a little girl with giant horns and a big drinking gourd.
>Huh?
>"Whatever," you mutter. "Horned girl, you just help with the attack, since you're here."
> Make the red-white pay for what she did to the Flower Tank and Evil Eye Sigma! Charge towards the shrine at full speed and engage in a fair 5v1 danmaku battle!
>You attempt to do so. Sneakily.
>The roll of 2 isn't helping in the slightest.
>Well, you've charged at the shrine at any rate.
>Key word being "at." You run into an invisible barrier.
>"Bad news, boss," Nitori reports, "That barrier shorted out the optical camouflage!"
>The horned girl yawns. "Yeah, Reimu declared her spellcard while you guys were planning. If I were you, I'd start dodging. Quickly."
>She vanishes into a purple mist that floats into the shrine as Reimu walks out.
>Well.
>This is bad.
TIMESKIP!
>That could not be considered a win for your team in any way, shape, or form.
> Sit down with the red-white, have a tea, and discuss the incident and everything related to it.
> Call Mokou and Satori (again) in order to share information.
> Make Komachi shoot a couple of coins into Reimu's offertory box.
>You sip your tea. "So, do you have anything on the incident, Reimu?"
>"None at all. It's not those guys at Eientei, or the Moriya Shrine. That's all I have."
>Yuuka grumbles. "Stupid barriers...if I wasn't weakened by all those sealing charms..."
>You don't think that this information is anything worth reporting, but you might as well.
>You roll a 1. Someone answers your call.
>"Koishi Komeiji, Satori Corporation customer service. We read your mind so you don't have to! How may I help you?"
>Well that isn't the right number at all.
>You try again.
>"DANGIT MOKOU DON'T CALL ME - oh wait, who is this? We're not buying any of your salads, in case you're a telemarketer."
>Gee, you are having terrible luck with rolls.
>Komachi sighs. "Currency of the dead. The Yama would throw a fit if I donated it to anyone. 'sides, it's got no monetary value."
>Reimu nods. "Believe me, I've tried."
>Well, it was worth a shot.
>Unless there's another thing to do here, you should get going. Investigationing waits for no man, woman, or person/youkai/whatever of a potential third gender!
Mokou
> Yeah, how does Reimu make things look so easy? That's right! She beats up anything that moves!
> Do so with Koishi. Sanae will be glad to help!
> Mokou - "Fine, But you only get to exterminate one of them *cough-Koishi-cough*."
>Really, it's unfair. Reimu makes everything look so easy!
>Then again, Reimu cheats.
>Out of experimental curiosity, you attack the nearest youkai, like Reimu does.
>You roll a 5 and attack Koishi. Sanae joins in with glee.
>Strangely, in the middle of the fight, Koishi asks for a ceasefire.
>"Time out! Hold on, I gotta answer this call..." She answers the cellphone.
>"Koishi Komeiji, Satori Corporation customer service. We read your mind so you don't have to! How may I help you?"
>She waits, then stares at the phone. "Strange. They hung up. All right, we can start fighting again."
> Wonder if it would really be so wrong to abandon both teammates and attempt to resolve quest on own.
>You roll a 3 and wonder with moderate success.
>The only reason you come up with is that Sanae and Koishi running around without a supervisor would be one of those Very Bad Ideas that Keine mentions.
>"I'm here too," Rin mutters.
> After our team-building exercise, ask Yukari to gap the party to the Myouren Temple.
> "Stop it, Sanae. Youkai are sources of information, for the time being. When extermination time comes, I'll let you know."
>Sanae stops poking Chen. "You mean like how I was allowed to attack Koishi? Yay!"
>Yukari stares at you. "Well, at least you didn't destroy the house," she mumbles. She waves a hand and drops you unceremoniously in front of that new Buddhist Temple.
> Prevent Koishi's displays of affection towards the cute yamabiko sweeping outside the temple.
>You prevent her successfully.
>Wait, dangit.
>"HELP!" the yamabiko yells. "SHE'S LICKING ME!"
> Who's that yamabiko, anyway? Have we seen her before?
> Watch out for huge pink fists. Make sure Koishi is at the receiving end.
>You have no idea who the yamabiko is. Then again, you don't leave the bamboo forest much.
>Koishi implants the strangest ideas. Why would you worry about giant pink fists -
>Oh. There's one.
>You roll a 1, dodging out of its way so amazingly that you dodge right into the other fist.
>Giant pink fists hurt.
> Let Orin pick up corpses and recruit fairies.
> Do not be fooled by the second Orin with a raccoon tail.
>Rin frowns. "It's nice that you're letting me do that, but there aren't any corpses or fairies."
>You ignore her. Both hers.
>Wait.
>Your roll of 6 reminds you that cats do not, in fact, have raccoon tails.
> Think about recruiting the other Sukusuku Hakutaku with a raccoon tail the tanuki.
> Enter the temple and seek an audience with Byakuren.
>You think about it too long. The tanuki has taken its chance and left.
>You decide to enter the temple.
>You roll a 5. Flawless entry!
> Talk about religious stuff with Sanae and Byakuren.
> Talk about the incident and whatever is related to it with the temple residents.
>You roll a 4 and proceed to discuss the current incident with Byakuren.
>"Hmm... well it hasn't affected our lives too much... I mean, as long as we don't roll a series of 1's again, we won't end up burning half the village down."
>Figures. Passive Buddhists.
> Pool everyone's ideas about what to do next. Except Koishi's, of course.
> Maybe we've been a bit too harsh with Koishi. Let her play with the shapeshifters and Orin's zombie fairies for a little while.
>"So," you announce, "where's our next destination?"
>"Somewhere with corpses!"
>"Wherever my shrine-maidenly intuition leads us!"
>"Back underground!"
>Maybe you have been a little harsh on Koishi. You abruptly reach a decision. Since there are no zombie fairies or corpses around...
>"Koishi, you can go play with the tanuki, if Byakuren is okay with it."
>Byakuren smiles. "Sure! I'll send Nazrin with you. She's been itching for something to do lately."
>Your party has lost a Koishi, but gained a Nazrin!
>You aren't sure that's how bartering is supposed to work.
>Now what do you do with a dowser mouse girl?
Satori
> Satori - Follow that misfotune Hina is following!
> Trick Rumia into blinding herself too much to bother you.
>Hina is not following any trails of misfortune. After all, the only trail leads into the service elevator according to her.
>Rumia is already blinded.
>Just to make sure, you roll a 13. Rumia emerges from her ball of darkness at precisely the right moment to catch you off guard and chomp on your head.
>"Ooh, misfortune!" Hina notices. 13 is the best number!
> Recruit Rumia. Giggle at the thought of a battle of wits between her and Utsuho.
> Ask Utsuho to light up the three hallways. Take a look at the deathtraps in each of them.
>You roll an 11. You suppose her clinging onto your head counts as recruiting.
>Utsuho lights up all three hallways.
>The first one is filled with spikes. On the ceiling and floor.
>The middle one is filled with...well, nothing. It's a bottomless pit.
>The one on the right is the normal one. You feel like you should take that path.
> Take the service elevator anyway,
> Keep following the trail of misfortune with Hina's help.
>But then again, it's Chiri you're thinking about. It doesn't look like there's deathtraps in that one because she hid them.
>You decide to take the sensible option. You ring the service elevator with a roll of 13.
>The doors explode outwards. You get knocked back into the bottomless pit. Rumia is still clinging on to you.
>Utsuho screams. "Satori!" Who will make eggs if you're gone?
>She dives in after you.
>Hina sighs. "Well, it'd be boring here by myself." Might as well.
>She hops into the pit.
>Your team isn't exactly the most competent, but you never expected it to fail this badly.
THIS IS A REALLY LONG TIMESKIP!
>"Scissors beats rock!" Hina announces. "I win the tournament!" Sweet victory!
>"But I almost have a royal flush!" Utsuho whines. And I even bet my eggs on it!
>"Really, Hina?" you ask with a smile. "Uno. Everyone switches hands!"
>Hina frowns. "Curses! I knew that the queen of spades would be used against me!" Why didn't I see it coming?
>House rules make for the most fun card games, even when falling down a bottomless pit.
>Really, though, you should do something about this situation. The problem with bottomless pits is that they don't end. You're going to be here for a while.
>Unless, of course, someone does something about it.
-
>Satori - "You know, all this falling was fun, but...Everyone can just fly."
-
> Rika - Next stop, Sanzu River and Higan. Ask Komachi about it.
> Is there any chance we can just scan areas using our technology stuff?
> If not, call Mokou and Satori so that your three parties can organize a systematic search of every spot inside (and outside) of gensokyo.
> Mokou - Ask Nazrin if she can find this Chiri-person.
> If not, might as well go to Hakugyokurou. They have corpses, right?
-
Satori
> Chiri will pay for this.
> Get out of the pit and take the path without deathtraps.
> Send Utsuho ahead and let her go postal on all the traps in and out of sight. We've had enough of them already.
> If we find Chiri, interrogate her.
> Make her quantum up a safe landing zone and some boiled eggs for Utsuho.
> Have Utsuho fire a huge, long lasting laser, then call Rika and Mokou and tell them to follow the beacon.
> Force Chiri to join the party. Okuu will finally have her infinite supply of eggs she always dreamed of!
Mokou
> To Hakugyokurou!
> On the way there, pester the Prismriver sisters about the incident if they're at the gates.
> Ask them to perform a relaxing BGM.
> Let Sanae blow off some steam against the Prismrivers if they are too noisy.
> Burn the Saigyou Ayakashi to get Youmu and Yuyuko's attention. Use decorative fire if possible.
> Put out the fire as soon as they are aware of it.
> Send Nazrin to search around for treasures and useful equipment.
> Pester Youmu and Yuyuko about the incident and everything related to it.
> We're kind of understaffed, so let Orin recruit fairies and corpses... or ghosts.
> Ask Youmu to join the party.
> Burn "Myon". Watch Youmu's reaction, then put out the fire.
> Remind Sanae that Youmu is still half-human and engaging in half a danmaku battle against her is pointless.
> Besides, they're both main protagonists in a bunch of Touhou games. Be jealous of them. Just a little bit.
> If we receive a call from Satori and see a beacon in the sky, go towards the beacon.
Rika
> Ponder for a little while if Yuuka has something to do with the blocks we've seen before (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za8qogxoy0I).
> Before taking off to another place, have a drink with the oni.
> Let Komachi lead the way to Higan.
> Annihilate everything that moves on the way there!
> What was Komachi's stupid magic power again? We could use it to our advantage.
> Look at the Titanic. We should definitely work with Nitori on a new nice boat for Komachi.
> Take a good look at Alice. We've seen her before, haven't we? Talk about it with Yuuka.
> Use any opportunity to tease Alice about the PC-98 era her past.
> Request an audience with the Enma. Make use of Komachi's influence if not successful.
> Enter (or invade, if necessary) Eiki's office.
> Interrupt her lectures with SCIENCE TALK.
> Investigation time! Ask Eiki the usual stuff about the incident. Share information with Satori and Mokou if we find anything of interest.
> If Yuuka wants to stay and fight Eiki, let her do her thing and watch the fight from a safe distance.
> If we receive a call from Satori and see a beacon in the sky, let Yuuka rejoin the party and go towards the beacon.
-
I'M NOT QUITE DEAD YET!
okay maybe I am, but still!
In all seriousness, I'm sort of intimidated by the giant amount of writing I have to do for the command dump. Bleh.
Satori
>Satori - "You know, all this falling was fun, but...Everyone can just fly."
>You point this marvelously obvious in hindsight gem of a fact, and everyone around you grins in embarrassment.
>"Oh yeah," Hina mumbles, "we can fly." Now I feel stupid.
>"But falling is fun!" Utsuho complains. And maybe if we fall enough, Satori will give me an egg!
> Chiri will pay for this.
> Get out of the pit and take the path without deathtraps.
>Now is a good time to stop falling, so you do so. You slow down your descent, and Hina and Utsuho follow suit.
>Then you realize that the cave entrance is just below your altitude.
>So... you've been falling down... and somehow ended up higher than you started.
>Does Chiri even think about what she makes?
>Well, whatever. You get back to the crossroads.
>You notice that the service elevator is replaced by a normal wall of rock. Chiri came by here recently...
>That leaves the spike path and the one without anything noticeable. You know which one you're going to take.
> Send Utsuho ahead and let her go postal on all the traps in and out of sight. We've had enough of them already.
>Well, just to be sure...
>"Utsuho," you command, "I want you to destroy any traps we come across. In fact, just fire a laser down the path just to be sure."
>"Yes, Miss Satori!" Utsuho salutes, then fires her nuclear laser through the tunnel.
>You determine that the path is now safe. Nearly burnt to a crisp, but safe.
>You roll a 12 and notice that you're walking towards the spike path before you actually reach it.
>Freakin' dice. You are not in a good mood.
>You walk down the now-charred path and follow it to the end...
>...where you find a door labeled "emergency exit". Of course.
>You really wish you could fire off giant lasers at will right now. Chiri is so infuriating!
>In fact you kick open the emergency exit, then roll a 19. Nearly good enough to fire off a giant destructive laser, even though it's impossible!
>You have to settle with a less destructive giant laser. You have no idea how you managed it.
>Well, you are outside after a huge waste of time, and nearly ready to murder Chiri if you see her.
>Of course, she's nowhere in sight. How can a youkai be so hard to find?
Mokou
> Mokou - Ask Nazrin if she can find this Chiri-person.
> If not, might as well go to Hakugyokurou. They have corpses, right?
>Nazrin stares at you. "Of course I can't!" she explains, "You don't dowse for people! Corpses, maybe, but not people."
>Rin perks up at the mention of corpses.
>This group is impossible to handle. You decide to give the half-ghost and her master a visit.
>The afterlife has corpses, doesn't it?
> To Hakugyokurou!
> On the way there, pester the Prismriver sisters about the incident if they're at the gates.
> Ask them to perform a relaxing BGM.
>On the way there, you see a giant laser being shot into the air near a strange mountain.
>Gensokyo is weird.
>"Halt!" someone says. "You can't just enter the afterlife at will!"
>You turn to face the three poltergeists.
>"Yukari does it all the time," you point out.
>"Well yeah, but she's Yukari. What are we going to do about it?" the red one says. "I'm Lyrica Prismriver. These are my sisters Lunasa and Merlin."
>"Good point," you muse. "I'm Mokou. Nice to meet you. Say, you're musicians, aren't you? Why don't you play something exciting?"
>Wait, you meant to say relaxing. Stupid 2 you rolled.
>"Well, we aren't in a hurry to go anywhere, so we can indulge you!" Merlin grins. "How's this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr4Wiz0SYUk)?"
>How the heck are they playing that with only a trumpet, violin, and keyboard?
>Sanae stares. She must be thinking the same thing.
> Let Sanae blow off some steam against the Prismrivers if they are too noisy.
>Sanae is looking fidgety again.
>May as well let her attack something before she decides to attack you. "Go ahead. They're playing too loud anyway."
>"What?" Lunasa asks. Sanae has already declared her spellcard.
>"Sea Opening 'The Day the Sea Split'!"
>You decide to leave her with the Prismrivers. She seems to be having fun. Onwards!
> Burn the Saigyou Ayakashi to get Youmu and Yuyuko's attention. Use decorative fire if possible.
> Put out the fire as soon as they are aware of it.
>You burn the Saigyou Ayakashi with a wonderful decorative fire, courtesy of a rolled 6.
>"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU CAN'T JUST SET DEMON TREES ON FIRE LIKE THAT!" Youmu yells. "THEY MURDER PEOPLE!"
>"Immortal, remember?" You grin and put the fire out. "Now, can we go talk to Yuyuko?"
>Youmu ignores you and is staring down Rin. "Corpse stealer."
>Rin is glaring at Youmu. "Half ghost."
>You think they might not be on the best of terms.
>Rin speaks up. "Just saying, you're pretty much half dead. It was a legitimate mistake!"
>Youmu ignores her and grabs your arm. "You were saying that you wanted to speak with Yuyuko?" ske asks you while dragging you away from Rin.
> Send Nazrin to search around for treasures and useful equipment.
> Pester Youmu and Yuyuko about the incident and everything related to it.
>"Nazrin, go search for valuables," you command before being dragged into the house by Youmu. That girl's got a strong grip.
>Yuyuko is waiting inside. "Well, immortal, what business do you have here? Why did you bring that infernal cat?"
>Wow. They really don't like Rin.
>"I came to discuss the recent incident with you. Chiri is acting up again."
>"Well, as long as she doesn't come over here, it's not really our problem." Yuyuko sighs. "I suppose I could send out Youmu to investigate, but I'm sure Sanae, Marisa, and Reimu are doing so already."
> We're kind of understaffed, so let Orin recruit fairies and corpses... or ghosts.
> Ask Youmu to join the party.
>You decide that what you really need now is more party members. You're pretty sure Rin is gathering spirits or something, so you do your part and try to persuade Youmu to join you.
>"I am not working with that cat," Youmu declares.
>Well, you tried.
> Burn "Myon". Watch Youmu's reaction, then put out the fire.
>You burn Youmu's ghost-half-thingy with a roll of 6. She panics.
>Specifically, she screams. "PUTITOUTPUTITOUTPUTITOUTPUTITOUT!"
>You extinguish the decorative fire and Youmu breathes a sigh of relief.
>Sanae enters the room. "What'd I miss? Rin is rolling Nazrin around in the wheelbarrow outside."
> Remind Sanae that Youmu is still half-human and engaging in half a danmaku battle against her is pointless.
> Besides, they're both main protagonists in a bunch of Touhou games. Be jealous of them. Just a little bit.
>Sanae hasn't said anything silly yet, but you're on your guard.
>Parsee sighs and grabs the duct tape. She begs of you, please stop breaking the fourth wall.
Rika
> Ponder for a little while if Yuuka has something to do with the blocks we've seen before (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=za8qogxoy0I).
> Before taking off to another place, have a drink with the oni.
>Yuuka is a really powerful youkai, so it's not out of the question...
>You roll a 4. "Hey oni, can I have a drink?" you ask.
>"Sure!" she grins and shoves her gourd into your mouth.
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINTERNALSCREAMING
>...You are now thoroughly inebriated. You've always been a lightweight.
>What is that sake made out of, anyway?
>Well, in any case, you have to go banana spoon trumpet before the rainbow demands you to accidentally flying across.
>Weird. Why are there two of Komachi and only half of Alice?
> Let Komachi lead the way to Higan.
> Annihilate everything that moves on the way there!
>Komachi is saying something. What was in that drink? You can't think straight.
>You can't think squiggly either. Or circular. Or at all, really.
>Komachi's dragging you off somewhere. Why can't she just let you stare at the little green explosion piggies in peace?
>Ooh, what if you made a slingshot... that fires birds?
> Annihilate everything that moves on the way there!
> What was Komachi's stupid magic power again? We could use it to our advantage.
>You roll a 6. Being drunk won't stop you from destroying all that moves! HAHAHAHAHA! EAT WRENCH, WEIRD FLYING FAIRY-TURTLE!
>You think you need to lie down. Or up. Or left. You just need to lie in some orientation.
> Look at the Titanic. We should definitely work with Nitori on a new nice boat for Komachi.
>Nitori looks concerned. "Are you all left?" she asks you.
>You think she asked you that. Yeah. She probably is waiting for an answer.
>You manage to slur out something vaguely comprehensible. "Yeah, I'm all fine an' stuff..."
>Wait, when did you get on a boat and why is it floating on a sea of red bubbles?
> Take a good look at Alice. We've seen her before, haven't we? Talk about it with Yuuka.
> Use any opportunity to tease Alice about the PC-98 era her past.
>Whew. You are way too drunk to make fun of anybody.
>Or you think you are. In fact, you'll just let everyone else deal with stuff and things before while you unconscious your way to a sober mind.
>You pass out.
DRUNK TIMESKIP!
>Your head hurts. What made you think that drinking oni liquor would be a good idea?
>You think you'll just lie here and wait for the room to stop rolling around.
>Everything's a blur. You hope your group managed to get something done while you were out, because you sure didn't.
>When did you come back to Yuuka's sunflower field?
>"Ah, you're awake," Alice notices. "Well, Eiki didn't know about the incident either, but she was upset about it. Chiri's going to have one heck of a lecture once the Yama catches her."
>Why do you feel like your group is more competent when you're not leading it?
>You decide you're asking yourself too many questions.
>Now you just need to decide what to do next...
-
Heavy metal is relaxing.
> Satori - continue doing the thing you are doing.
> Is the emergency exit like a fire escape that goes up? Try following it to the bottom.
> Else tell Okuu that she can have a dozen eggs if she finds Chiri.
> Mokou - Apologize for bringing Rin. "Didn't realize Rin was on such bad terms."
> Offer to attempt to kill demon murder tree, if they want. A demon murder tree sounds like a bad thing after all. If they don't, ask why they don't want you to kill the demon murder tree.
> Leave Hakugyokurou with just Rin. And maybe Nazrin. Leave Sanae and Koishi behind to... you dunno, spread the word of Kanako and double check that the incident isn't there. Yeah, that excuse works.
> Figure out relationship between Nazrin and Orin. If Orin is anything like the cats you've seen, you don't really want to explain to Byakuren how Nazrin became Orin's lunch (and you definitely don't want her gifting you a half dead mouse youkai at 3 am.)
> Go to Mystia's lamprey stand. Spend a few hours there listening to the local gossip, see if anything useful turns up.
> While at Mystia's ask Rin what happened to make Yuyuko of all people dislike her so much. Find out about prior incidents at Hakugyokurou. Ply her with alcohol if necessary.
> Rika - Wow, they are efficient.
> Let teammates lead party.
-
This time around I'll refrain from giving commands, as compensation for having issued too many of them up to now. :derp:
-
>Satori: Obviously we used Recollection powers to fire an Utsuho-style laser.
>Wait, we have an easier way to find Chiri. If she's been using her power this much, she'll have a lot of misfortune.
>"Hina, Chiri probably has a great deal of misfortune built up by now. Can you sense it and lead us to her?"
>Follow the curse goddess.
-
>RIka - "Wooogh. What kinda crazy idea was it to drink Oni Booze..."
>"Y'know, it actually gave me a few ideas. I gotta figure out what that stuff's made from."
-
gaaah I forgot again
Rika
> Rika - Wow, they are efficient.
> Let teammates lead party.
>You roll a 2. There's no way you can step down from the position of leader! You may be horribly incompetent, but you get things done!
>In fact, you think you might have negotiated setting the date of your death back a couple of days with the Yama.
>Maybe forward. You were too drunk to remember.
>Well, your point still stands!
>RIka - "Wooogh. What kinda crazy idea was it to drink Oni Booze..."
>"Y'know, it actually gave me a few ideas. I gotta figure out what that stuff's made from."
>Alice doesn't turn to you as she speaks. "You were the one who asked for a drink."
>Yuuka smiles and nods. "As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. And I wouldn't try to build off of those ideas, if I were you."
>You think you have ideas at any rate. You probably scribbled them down somewhere.
>Ah, yes, here they are.
>Time-travel tank? A tank that shoots cupcakes? Flying tank with meat missiles?
>Um. Well. You're not getting that drunk ever again.
>The time travel tank seems like it could be useful though...
Satori
> Satori - continue doing the thing you are doing.
> Is the emergency exit like a fire escape that goes up? Try following it to the bottom.
>There's the other thing. You're now too high up in the air.
>That is, too high as in "logically judging by the steepness of the paths you took, there's no way this could have happened."
>Well, there's a sign next to the door.
Fire escape will come soon, I promise! Don't burn this place down 'til then.
-Chiri
>...of course.
> Else tell Okuu that she can have a dozen eggs if she finds Chiri.
>Utsuho visibly recoils in surprise as you say that. "A whole dozen? At once?" On one hand, it's eggs! But maybe it's a trick so that'd be bad. But eggs!
>"Yup," you nod. "Only if we can find Chiri, though."
>"Are you sure bribing her with eggs is a good id-" Hina begins. I really hope she doesn't do anything rash-oh there she goes.
>"SIR YES SIR!" Utsuho salutes sharply and carves a cavern through the mountain with a giant laser, this one sloping upwards. It's a crusade for the egg!
>Huh. Maybe it wasn't that good of an idea after all.
>Satori: Obviously we used Recollection powers to fire an Utsuho-style laser.
>Wait, we have an easier way to find Chiri. If she's been using her power this much, she'll have a lot of misfortune.
>"Hina, Chiri probably has a great deal of misfortune built up by now. Can you sense it and lead us to her?"
>Follow the curse goddess.
>Strange. You subconsciously used a Recollection? Well, it could be possible.
>You're not the expert in matters like this. In this you have to defer to Koishi.
>Hina smiles and curtsies. "It may be possible, yes. Keep in mind that we'd be following where she's been, not where she is." Anything's better than leaving this task up to Utsuho.
>Utsuho frowns. "You sure you don't want to go my way? I made it already!" Can't let giant lasers go to waste!
>"Yes we can," you say in response to her thoughts. Hina flies towards the Forest of Magic, so you follow her.
Mokou
> Mokou - Apologize for bringing Rin. "Didn't realize Rin was on such bad terms."
>"She takes corpses and burns them in the pits of Hell!" Youmu fumes. "Has she no respect for the dead?"
>"My dear Youmu seems to hold a grudge with her," Yuyuko explains. "If Youmu holds a grudge, there is a very good reason behind it. I trust her judgement."
> Offer to attempt to kill demon murder tree, if they want. A demon murder tree sounds like a bad thing after all. If they don't, ask why they don't want you to kill the demon murder tree.
>"No, no, no!" Youmu shakes her head rapidly. "It's not that simple! It's a powerful youkai!"
>"So?" you ask. "I'll just apply more fire."
>"There's also the problem of me being sort of linked to that 'demon murder tree,' as you so eloquently put it." Yuyuko shakes her head too.
>"Ah. That is a problem."
> Leave Hakugyokurou with just Rin. And maybe Nazrin. Leave Sanae and Koishi behind to... you dunno, spread the word of Kanako and double check that the incident isn't there. Yeah, that excuse works.
>You roll a 5. Successful abandoning!
>"Well, I suppose I shouldn't burden you with Rin any longer," you stand up. "I'll take her and the mouse when I leave."
>"But what about Sanae?" Youmu asks.
>"She'll stay to spread the word about Kanako. Plus it's good shrine-maidenly training for incident-solving. Yeah. That's a good excuse."
>Youmu narrows her eyes with suspicion, but doesn't say anything.
>As you leave, you catch Rin rolling Nazrin around.
>Nazrin appears to have motion sickness.
>"C'mon, we're leaving."
> Figure out relationship between Nazrin and Orin. If Orin is anything like the cats you've seen, you don't really want to explain to Byakuren how Nazrin became Orin's lunch (and you definitely don't want her gifting you a half dead mouse youkai at 3 am.)
>As you leave, you decide to get a problem out of the way. "Rin, what do you think of Nazrin?"
>"She's fun to toy with," Rin says carelessly while carting the unconscious mouse in the wheelbarrow.
>Just to be sure, you're not going to try and eat her or something, right?"
>"What do you think I am, a cat?" Rin asks indignantly. "Oh, wait."
>You nod as realization dawns on her. "Yeah. So, you're not going to eat her or gift me her dead body or something, are you?" you ask again.
>"Well, I'm a youkai, too. We have etiquette! Plus, spellcard system and all, so she's probably capable of defending herself."
> Go to Mystia's lamprey stand. Spend a few hours there listening to the local gossip, see if anything useful turns up.
>It's nice having a destination in mind. You go to Mystia's lamprey stand to hear some of the local gossip.
>There's the usual mix of youkai, fairies, and wary humans at the stand.
>The usual sign is hung in front, too.
I don't care whether you're human or youkai. If you start a fight at my stand, you're going to be sung so far into night-blindness that you'll have to feel your way around for days.
-Mystia
>The gossip here can be about anything, so you hope for the best. You roll a 5 and hear some juicy information.
>"That weird land-changing youkai is back at it again."
>"She is, but when I caught a glimpse of her in the Forest of Magic, she seemed to be nervous. Holding a book, too, if I recall correctly."
>"Think she's started stealing from the library like Marisa does?"
>"Dunno. She seems too nervous in general for something like that, though."
>"You can never tell with youkai. Who knows what's going on in their heads?"
>"You're at a primarily youkai-populated food stand. This isn't the best place to ask that question. Sheesh, humans are weird."
>This gossip certainly is getting you somewhere. Well, since you're here, there's something else you want to try...
> While at Mystia's ask Rin what happened to make Yuyuko of all people dislike her so much. Find out about prior incidents at Hakugyokurou. Ply her with alcohol if necessary.
>You're curious about what happened with Rin. "Hey, park your wheelbarrow here and lemme buy you a few drinks," you tell her.
Girls are drinking and telling stories, please wait warmly...
>"...an' I tried carting her away while she was asleep. She wasn't moving, and there was a ghost next to her!" Rin finishes up another story drunkenly. "Anyway, there's this other time that I was carting away evil spirits..."
>By now the other customers are listening to Rin's stories with interest.
>You can sympathize with both sides, you suppose. Rin's just doing her job, after all. Stories about death aren't ones you're good with, at any rate.
-
Rika
> Time travel tank? Nitori must definitely help us. Next time, we should also ask Suika if her booze can be used as fuel.
> We're out of options, by the way. Call Mokou and Satori and ask them if they've found something of interest.
> Go look for them.
> Destroy everything in our way! Being drunk with power is way better than being drunk with oni booze.
> Have Komachi shorten the distance between our current location and our destination(s) via her stupid magic powers.
> If we find Satori and/or Mokou, do not look like we found nothing of use.
Mokou
> Land-changing youkai? Too bad we left Sanae at Hakugyokurou. We can exterminate Chiri just fine, but the help of a specialist is always a good thing to have. Eh, whatever.
> Chiri, a strange book, Forest of Magic... Roll to digest the information we found.
> Search the Forest of Magic regardless.
> Help Nazrin get back to her senses and ask her to look for... quantum stuff. Follow her.
> Ponder about burning Rin's wheelbarrow. That "Hell's Traffic Accident" thing is true, after all...
> If there are powerful fairies around, make them play zombie with Rin. The more, the merrier.
Satori
> Using Utsuho's Recollections might be a good thing. We too get to punish Chiri with humongous lasers and "miniature" suns. The more firepower we unleash on her, the better.
> Think of other useful Recollection spells.
-
>Satori: "Don't worry, Okuu; you'll still get your eggs."
>Once we find Chiri, we can just have her make the eggs.
>Follow that Hina!
-
> Mokou: "That explains a lot."
> Check on Nazrin.
> Follow Forest of Magic lead. See if Nazrin can track a book in a forest, even if it means going through Alice and Marisa's house first.
(> Or just track down Chiri's magical dress thing if we know about it.)
> Rika: Pick a direction.
> Go in that direction.
> Satori - Follow that goddess!
-
Spellcheck considers Northeaster a word, but not Southwestest. Strange.
(> Or just track down Chiri's magical dress thing if we know about it.)
>Nope. Mokou has no idea about Chiri's magic quantum dress. Parsee tosses this command in the incinerator pile.
>It's a good thing a backlog of invalid commands were gathered early. They're becoming scarce.
Satori
> Using Utsuho's Recollections might be a good thing. We too get to punish Chiri with humongous lasers and "miniature" suns. The more firepower we unleash on her, the better.
> Think of other useful Recollection spells.
>Chiri will get what's coming to her. Oh yes she will...
>"You okay there, Satori?" Hina asks. "You're looking a little creepy right now." By a little, I mean really, really creepy. And foreboding. And evil.
>Generally, as a rule of thumb, you can make a Recollection spell on the fly off of anyone you're with. You currently have the crazy barrage you recollected from Sanae, too.
>Sadly, your Recollection cards only can be used once. The only ones you can pull off consistently are the ones you take from your own mind, like Terrifying Hypnotism.
>Satori: "Don't worry, Okuu; you'll still get your eggs."
>Once we find Chiri, we can just have her make the eggs.
>"Really? I get to have eggs when we're done?" Utsuho exclaims. "Yay!" We're gonna investigate this incident and get more eggs!
>Of course, if Chiri's going to quantum up the eggs, that means you can't beat her up so much. Hm. Decisions, decisions.
>Hold on, Rika's calling you...
This call can be seen on Rika's side of the story!
>Follow that Hina!
> Satori - Follow that goddess!
>Well, you can't plot forever! You'll get nowhere that way.
>Hina's going to the Forest of Magic, so you gotta keep up. You trust Utsuho to follow you and not get lost.
>On the way there, you roll a 4.
>You don't know how it happened, but now you're in the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, which certainly lives up to its name.
>You have no idea where you are. Well, at least you know that Hina and Utsuho are with you.
>Maybe it's for the best, Utsuho thinks. There aren't any hallucinogenic mushrooms here, are there? Ooh, a mushroom!
>Nearby exits are North, West, East, South, Southeast, Northwest, Southwest, Northeast, Northeaster, Southwestest, North-Southwest-East, Up, and Sideways
Mokou
> Mokou: "That explains a lot."
>Rin shrugs, then slumps on the table. "mmyeah, I guess..."
> Land-changing youkai? Too bad we left Sanae at Hakugyokurou. We can exterminate Chiri just fine, but the help of a specialist is always a good thing to have. Eh, whatever.
> Chiri, a strange book, Forest of Magic... Roll to digest the information we found.
>You suspect that Sanae is a specialist at Youkai Extermination. Then again, Reimu and Marisa probably are, too.
>You have no idea what that would entail. What would be the difference between them and any other people who use spellcards to beat up youkai?
>You roll a 6. Perfect Information Digest!
>The information digests flawlessly through your brain and passes through the body with minimal waste - oh wait that's not how metaphors work.
>So, from what you suspect, Chiri is roaming around Gensokyo with a book that's probably magical and possibly sentient. Her being in the Forest of Magic was probably to gather ingredients for a spell or something; Marisa uses mushrooms in potions and stuff all the time.
> Search the Forest of Magic regardless.
> Help Nazrin get back to her senses and ask her to look for... quantum stuff. Follow her.
>This thinking, while informative, gets you no closer to finding where Chiri is currently. You need an expert in finding things.
>Luckily, you have one right here! Sure, she's unconscious, but not for long!
>Hold on, Rika's calling you...
This call can be seen on Rika's side of the story!
> Check on Nazrin.
>You poke her until she wakes up. It takes 494 pokes.
>"DON'T EAT ME, EAT SHOU INSTEAD! Oh, hi. You're the phoenix lady, right?"
>"Yup. Mokou Fujiwara, immortal human. Can you just look around for quantum ...stuff or something?"
>Nazrin looks unsure. "Okay. I'm not sure it'll come up with anything, though."
>She holds her dowsing rods up in the air, and concentrates.
>The dowsing rods start spinning and gaining speed. Eventually, they are spinning so fast, they're lifting the little mouse youkai in the air.
>Nazrin panics and lets go. She falls to the ground and her dowsing rods land next to her.
>She scratches her head. "From what I've gathered, quantum stuff is everywhere. Yeah. That's not going to be a good lead."
> Search the Forest of Magic regardless.
> Follow Forest of Magic lead. See if Nazrin can track a book in a forest, even if it means going through Alice and Marisa's house first.
>Well, you might as well search the Forest of Magic.
>"Hey! Rin!" you call to the cat. "We're leaving for the Forest of Magic! Come on!"
> Ponder about burning Rin's wheelbarrow. That "Hell's Traffic Accident" thing is true, after all...
> If there are powerful fairies around, make them play zombie with Rin. The more, the merrier.
>"Your reputation precedes you," you tell Rin. "I've got half a mind to just burn your wheelbarrow to prevent accidents."
>"No!" Rin throws herself protectively over her wheelbarrow. "It's mine! It keeps me company!"
>There aren't any powerful fairies in sight. Mystia's stand usually doesn't attract those.
Rika
> Time travel tank? Nitori must definitely help us. Next time, we should also ask Suika if her booze can be used as fuel.
>Nitori looks over your shoulder. "Time travel tank? No way. Even if it was possible, using it would just irritate Keine."
>Ah yes, the schoolteacher. Apparently she controls history or something.
> We're out of options, by the way. Call Mokou and Satori and ask them if they've found something of interest.
>You roll a 4 and Satori picks up. "Rika? Are you any closer to finding Chiri?"
>"Well, that's what I wanted to ask you about."
>"Apparently, Chiri passed through the Forest of Magic some time ago. Other than that, I've got nothing."
>"Well, thanks anyway," you tell her and hang up.
>Now for Mokou! Rolled a 6.
>"Rika? Hey there! I've just figured out a possible theory! Listen to this..."
>Mokou explains what she thought about. Chiri using some sort of sentient magical grimoire? Seems actually pretty likely.
>"Huh," you say after Mokou finishes talking. "Well, that does make sense. I'll call you and Satori if I find anything."
>You hang up.
> Go look for them.
>You have no way of finding them! How is that going to happen?
> Rika: Pick a direction.
> Go in that direction.
>Well, that works. You roll a 3 and start heading South-Northwest-Up towards the big forest of bamboo.
> Destroy everything in our way! Being drunk with power is way better than being drunk with oni booze.
> Have Komachi shorten the distance between our current location and our destination(s) via her stupid magic powers.
>Yes. It is much better. When you're drunk with power, you can actually remember all the glorious destruction you cause.
>Of course, you have no idea where you parked your tank.
>Well, you'll have to make do by throwing wrenches at everyone. CHARGE!
>Alice nudges Komachi. "That crazy scientist is going at it again. Can you get us closer to our destination so we don't have to worry about her again?"
>Komachi nods. "It's probably for the best."
>The space around you and the others warps. You are suddenly in front of the big bamboo forest.
>You didn't even get to throw a single wrench at anyone!
>Now that you're close to it, that bamboo forest looks like it's somewhere you can easily get lost in. For all you know, everyone else could be lost in it too!
-
>Rika: Maxe a GPS out of dirt, bamboo, and whatever else is around. That way we won't get lost.
>If that doesn't work, just mark our path so we know if we're going in circles.
-
Mokou: Call Kaguya.
Everyone: Start searching.
-
LaserTurtle fails at remembering to do things, part 7!
Mokou
Mokou: Call Kaguya.
>You don't need to roll for this! After all, it's saved in your call history.
>"MOKOU I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL THIS NUMBER!"
>"Calm down Teruyo Kaguya, it's not like I can kill you over the phone. not for lack of trying, though..."
>"So? Why are you calling me, anyway? and did you just call me Teruyo? I think I might have imagined that..."
>Good point. Why did you call her?
>"Huh. I guess I just wanted to say hi to you. Hey, can you search the bamboo forest for that quantum geography youkai? I can't find her anywhere."
>"Well, what would you say if I told you we have her in one of Tewi's pit traps?"
>"Do you?"
>"No."
>"Thought not."
>It's clear that Kaguya's not going to be of any help. You hang up.
Everyone: Start searching.
>You assume that everyone else is already searching for Chiri. You might as well start too.
>Where should you search, though?
Rika
>Rika: Maxe a GPS out of dirt, bamboo, and whatever else is around. That way we won't get lost.
>Well, this forest of bamboo looks like quite a maze. It would do you no good to get lost in here!
>You shall have to put your amazing science skills to use! LET'S IMPROVISE A GPS!
Girls are failing to make making a GPS, please wait at whatever temperature you see fit.
>So far, you have this little spinny bamboo pinwheel. There's this shiny rock that you put on as decoration.
>Nope. You're not going to get anything invented with this sort of bamboo. Clearly, it is not the technological bamboo plant, which conducts electricity without shocking anyone who touches it.
>If that doesn't work, just mark our path so we know if we're going in circles.
>You pocket the bamboo pinwheel and shiny rock, just in case.
>You should know when you go in circles! Well, just to be safe, you tighten a wrench on one of the many bamboo shoots. There. You have to remember to do this periodically.
Everyone: Start searching.
>Well, you can't let getting lost impede your progress! Onward into the labyrinth of bamboo!
Time is sorta weird here. Blame Sakuya.
>Alice sighs. "You really don't know where you're going, do you?"
>"Hmm," Yuuka looks at the bamboo thoughtfully. "I prefer sunflowers. Do you think the residents would mind if I added a few around the place?"
>Nitori laughs nervously. "Go ahead. What could they do to you? You're Yuuka, after all."
>"Hold it!" a voice calls from above.
>A small rabbit girl in a pink dress (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=948079) drops down from her hiding place. "I've filled this place with hidden pit traps! You need to pay me, or else I won't guide you through!"
>Komachi groans. "Not that irritating little rabbit. Why did it have to be her?"
Satori
Everyone: Start searching.
>Well, you are completely lost. It's not all that great of a place to start.
>You've just passed by a bamboo shoot with a wrench on it.
>Hina examines the wrench. Who would put a wrench on a shoot of bamboo?
>"Probably Rika," you guess. "If she's marking her path."
>That's actually a good idea. You should have thought of something like that before you got hopelessly lost.
>Utsuho's being strangely quiet in the back. That's not a good sign.
>Woop woop woop. Why did I eat that mushroom? Woop woop woop. I'm expecting for its crazy effects to start up any minute now, but nothing's happening. It tasted like eggplant, anyway.
>Yeah. Something is wrong with that girl.
>Someone come running up behind you, and you catch their thoughts.
>You're behind it, are you? "Stop! Do you know how tiring it is to have to find and remove all the wrenches on the bamboo?"
>You turn to face a red-eyed rabbit girl (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=973451). "Nope. We're not behind it. We know who it is, but I don't think we can lead you to her."
>The girl sighs. "Great. She's still putting more wrenches on bamboo plants, is she?"
>"Probably."
>Utsuho collapses on the ground. "Spork origami elephant..." she mumbles
>She suddenly sits up. "RAPTORS!" she screams. She points her control rod at the bunny girl and starts charging up her laser.
>That isn't good.
-
>Satori - Dope slap Okuu. "You want eggs, right? Then behave."
-
> Rika - Remind bunny girl the reason pit traps don't work in Gensokyo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRjpna_3pFA).
> Then, use the advanced interrogation teqnique "5 seconds with Yuuka" to find out what the bunny girl knows.
> Mokou - Might as well start searching forest of magic, that was our last lead.
> Satori - Demand Utsuho give her control rod to you.
> Have Hina put Utsuho in a full nelson immediately.
-
>Satori: Then wonder why we would want Utsuho to have less control over her abilities, and give the control rod back.
-
Part 8 of the continuing saga of procrastination! Critics are raving about it! We're not entirely sure if that's a good thing, but still!
Mokou
> Mokou - Might as well start searching forest of magic, that was our last lead.
>Well, you could always start to search the Forest of Magic. The gossip says that you should, in any case.
>You drag the tipsy Rin and wary Nazrin into the Forest of Magic.
Just like in a game, we skip to an important scene!
>The Forest of Magic may not be as confusing as the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, but it's not for lack of trying.
>You entered a cave a while back. It seemed like a good idea at the time, for some reason.
>Rin giggles. "Heyy... ish sorta like the big network of caves leading to the underground! 'Cept there's more mushrooms."
>Nazrin frowns. "If you're looking for Chiri, why didn't you ask me to dowse for something of hers?"
>"You said you couldn't dowse for people! Plus I didn't think of it."
>Nazrin sighs. "Of course."
>A familiar voice appears from behind you. "What are you doing in my mushroom garden?"
>Rin turns around and waves. "Hello, Marisa!" she greets the witch.
Satori
>Satori - Dope slap Okuu. "You want eggs, right? Then behave."
>Utsuho promptly points her third arm at you. "You're not Satori! You have too many eyes!"
>A peek into her thoughts reveals that she's hallucinating. Hahaha! This can't be happening! I must be dreaaaaammiiiiiing! Oh hey, a turtle! No wait, focus on the raptors!
> Satori - Demand Utsuho give her control rod to you.
>"You'll never take this drumstick alive!" Utsuho yells furiously. Those raptors are tricky, but they don't know about Satori's emergency arm confiscation feature!
>You disarm her. You are so glad that you got the kappa to install a secret arm removal override.
> Have Hina put Utsuho in a full nelson immediately.
>"Please put Utsuho in a full nelson, Hina," you command her.
>"Full nelson?" Hina looks confused. What's that?
>You use the lesser-known half of your powers to send an image of the restraining position into Hina's head.
>Realization dawns on her face. "So that's what it's called!" Not that I needed to know, but it's still a pretty cool fact.
>She restrains Utsuho, who is currently babbling about cauldrons and helicopters.
>Reisen just stares at the whole scene. What is happening? I'm so confused!
>You explain to the bunny girl. "Apparently, this girl ate a mushroom. Now she's gone crazy. Again."
>Reisen smiles. "Then how about I take you to Eientei? Eirin cured her of this last time, if I remember correctly." I'm not even going to try, especially after what happened last time.
>"Wait, last time?" Hina asks. What last time? Has this happened before?
>Satori: Then wonder why we would want Utsuho to have less control over her abilities, and give the control rod back.
>You're holding Utsuho's control rod and wondering why you took it off.
>If memory serves, she now has even less control of her power.
>Yup, she's generating a miniature sun in one of her hands.
>You re-attach it to her. Just to be safe.
>Reisen leads you to Eientei, or, as Mokou put it in her thoughts, "The place with those dang moon people and bunnies."
Rika
> Rika - Remind bunny girl the reason pit traps don't work in Gensokyo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRjpna_3pFA).
>"Pretty much everyone can fly, remember?" you tell the bunny girl.
>"If that's so, why aren't you flying right now?"
>Oh right. You can't fly, even if the others can. "...that's not the point!"
>The bunny girl's not buying it. Time for Plan C, parts 5a to 43f.
> Then, use the advanced interrogation teqnique "5 seconds with Yuuka" to find out what the bunny girl knows.
>"Yuuka, can you take this little girl somewhere secluded and convince her to help us?" you ask.
>"It would be my pleasure," Yuuks grins. "Now come with me, Tewi; you have a lot to answer for..."
>She grabs the little bunny's arm and drags her off.
>Moments later, you hear the sound of a giant laser. And then another. And another.
Timeskip, WITH LASERS!
>Yuuka drags Tewi back. Tewi looks a lot more nervous.
>"So, about that guide..." you begin.
>"I'lltakeyoutoEienteisopleasedon'tleavemealonewithYuukaagain!"
>Komachi looks at Alice and shrugs. "Works for me."
-
> Satori and Rika: Go follow the bunnies.
> Mokou: Dialog options.
> Plot: Begin to suddenly unfold.
-
Where's my motivation? I could've sworn I had it a moment ago...
Rika
> Satori and Rika: Go follow the bunnies.
>Tewi guides you to Eientei, without anything interesting or dangerous happening.
>Well, you did use Yuuka. That would explain things.
>She even opens the door for you. Whatever Yuuka did, it was effective. You and your posse step inside...
>...and fall into a gap. Er, what?
>Yukari is glaring at you. You glare back. You were about to go to Eientei, and she just gaps you into this weird 10-dimensional space.
>You grab a wrench that is floating aimlessly in the air (there's another thing. Your Trans-dimensional Scientific Material Storage is wandering around the place. Stupid cheating border.) and ready your throwing arm.
Satori
> Satori and Rika: Go follow the bunnies.
Reisen opens the door to Eientei. "Hey, Tewi. Why are you here? Don't you have pit traps to tend to?" Not that I'm complaining. Less pit traps for me to fall in.
>"Oh, I'm just glad that Yuuka isn't here anymore. Remind me to thank Yukari once I get the chance." Giant lasers are not conducive to rational thinking.
>Hina scratches her head. I feel like we just missed something interesting.
>Utusho smiles. "You guys have eggs right?" she asks. Because I want an egg. You guys should have some. Crazy moon people probably have crazy moon eggs, though. Are those edible? Do I have to irradiate them?
>She takes a step into Eientei and falls into a gap. Moments after, you and Hina drop into one.
>You land in front of a very upset Yukari. A wrench hits you on the back of your head.
>"What? That's cheating!" Rika exclaims. It's not fair; you can't just gap people in to block hits!
>"Yes she can. She's Yukari," you reply bluntly. Thrown wrenches hurt.
>"Great, you guys are here. Now to find Mokou..." Yukari claps her hands once.
>You don't try to read her mind. She probably has some block of some sort in place, anyway.
Mokou
> Mokou: Dialog options.
>You consider several dialog options.
"Being lost; you?"
"I lost at rock-paper-scissors."
"What are your mushrooms doing in my hermit cave?"
"Stuff and things, Marisa. Stuff and things."
"If I told you, you'd probably use your Master Spark."
"I've claimed this cave for the territory of the bamboo forest."
>Unfortunately for you, you and your group drop into a gap before you have time to pick a good line.
>You land in a pile of wrenches. Nazrin lands on top of you, and Rin lands on top of Satori.
> Plot: Begin to suddenly unfold.
Convenient Third-Person Point-of-View
>Yukari waits for everyone to stop fussing around, and takes a deep breath.
>"What have you guys been doing?" she yells to get everyone's attention. "You guys aren't getting anywhere! It's been what, three months eight hours? Whenever Reimu finally gets off her butt, incidents usually get resolved within a half hour!"
>Yuuka frowns. "Well, why don't you get Reimu to solve this, then?"
>"I tried! She just threw some charms at me and flew back out through the gap. So, you guys are now responsible for solving this."
>Alice sighs. "And why did you choose us?"
>"I can't answer that without getting Parsee upset. Actually, you guys were just tagging along. Really, the ones in charge are Mokou, Satori, and Rika."
>"So, did you bring us all here just to lecture us?" Rin asks. "Wait, did you just make me not drunk without a hangover? Cool."
>"Yes to the second question, no to the first. You'll see. Stop trying to sneak out of here, Nitori. There isn't an exit."
>"Aww..."
>Yukari pauses in thought before opening up a gap and yelling into it. "You too! This is your fault too! If you actually planned things out in advance, maybe these people would be getting somewhere!"
>She closes the gap and turns back to her audience.
>"Anyway! Get back out there! Go solve this incident before I go crazy!"
>"I'd say you're pretty crazy already," Komachi mutters.
>Yukari ignores her. "You know how irritating it is that I can't sleep because of bad rolls?"
>Yukari finishes her lecture, and kicks everyone through another gap.
>Everyone ends up in a big pile. Hina is on the bottom. Unlucky her.
>Satori looks up from her position in the middle of the pile and sees a tower that stretches into the sky.
>Utsuho notices it, too. "I think this is Chiri's work."
>Rika rolls off of the top of the pile and stands up. "Why do I even build these tanks if I don't get to take them along for an adventure?" she complains.
>A gap opens, and S.A.T.O.R.I.N. drops out next to her.
>A note is attached.
Take this one. Get going; we might have all day, but that doesn't mean you should take that long!
-
>Satori: Wait, didn't Chiri make a big tower when Utsuho was chasing after her with Sakuya and Flandre?
>"Utsuoh, Chiri made a big tower before, right?"
>Compare Utsuho's memory of that tower to the tower in front of us. Does it look like they're the same tower?
-
Derp. I missed out on all the fun while I was busy doing... uh, productive stuff. Time to
ruin get back into this game. I'm truly sorry if I actually did ruin this game, by the way.
Everyone
> Evaluate how good an idea flying directly to the top of the tower is.
> Screw that. Charge in!
Rika
> Make sure to control S.A.T.O.R.I.N. before charging towards the tower.
> Check S.A.T.O.R.I.N.'s status. Can we do it while flying?
> Copy the first bullet pattern we see. Y'know, just in case.
Satori
> If Yuuka is still in our party, make a Recollection Spell Card based on her memories.
Mokou
> Be the first to enter the tower. We're so going to burn this place to ashes...
-
Naw, man, it's fine. We're all friends here! Bonded by the mutual enjoyment of ridiculously overpowered flying girls!
oh no Touhou Wiki is down and I can't refer to spellcards whatdoidowhatdoido
Satori
> If Yuuka is still in our party, make a Recollection Spell Card based on her memories.
>You scope out Yuuka's mind to create a new Recollection spellcard. This one will be called Recollection 'Master of Flowers'.
>It is full of flowery patterns. And a giant laser beam. Or two. Actually, there are a lot of lasers.
>It's a good card. Shame you can only use it once.
>Satori: Wait, didn't Chiri make a big tower when Utsuho was chasing after her with Sakuya and Flandre?
>"Utsuoh, Chiri made a big tower before, right?"
>Compare Utsuho's memory of that tower to the tower in front of us. Does it look like they're the same tower?
>"Unyu? Yeah, she did!" Hey, it looks exactly the same! Is the hole at the top still there?
>Utsuho seems to recognize the tower. That's nice. Maybe she'll be able to guide you through it with her memories.
> Evaluate how good an idea flying directly to the top of the tower is.
> Screw that. Charge in!
>You consider flying up to check out the hole Utsuho's thinking of. It doesn't look like a viable method of reaching Chiri.
>Mainly because there is a huge downdraft preventing anyone from flying above 100 feet.
>Well, that only leaves one option, right? You enter the building after Mokou kicks the door down, dragging along a spaced-out Utsuho with you.
>Hina follows you as you enter.
Rika
> Make sure to control S.A.T.O.R.I.N. before charging towards the tower.
> Check S.A.T.O.R.I.N.'s status. Can we do it while flying?
>You open the hatch to enter S.A.T.O.R.I.N.
>A Koishi is inside. Um.
>Koishi waves cheerfully. "Hi! Did you miss me?"
>You kick her out and hop into your tank. Everyone else is already entering the tower, but you want to be a bit more prepared.
>Wait, who would leave an umbrella in the middle of the road? And why is it eggplant-colored?
> Copy the first bullet pattern we see. Y'know, just in case.
>"Surprise! Meta-Surprise 'Bet you didn't know I had this spell'!"
>Wait, what?
>You roll a 5. Success! You copy the spellcard and defeat the umbrella youkai with only a few scrapes.
>You decide to call this temporary spellcard Mimicked Spell 'Annoying Umbrella'. The original name was stupid. Of course you didn't know she had that spell. You don't even know who she is!
>Well, you're going to get left behind at this rate. You roll your tank into the tower.
>Man, it's a huge tower. Usually, tanks can't fit into buildings.
Mokou
> Be the first to enter the tower. We're so going to burn this place to ashes...
>Of course, burning a tower down when you're inside it is a bad idea. You tried it once. Killed Kaguya, but had burns all over. Figures. The one time you forgot to wear your fire seal hair ribbon... ah, memories.
>You kick the door down. With a flaming kick. You don't know who this Chiri person is, but right now all you want to do is get this done with and go back to killing Kaguya. You've already thought of three more ways to do it! Maybe you can enlist her help once this is all over.
>"Holding grudges is unhealthy," Satori remarks.
>"She's a crazy moon person. She deserves it," you reply.
>There is a sign on the wall.
That's right! I rebuilt this tower! Thought you saw the last of it before? Hah!
also please help me I'm being threatened by a talking book
>There is a complementary buffet table set out in the middle of the room. It is filled with delicious food.
>The table has a little sign on it, too.
Technically, you're guests here. Why don't you have a bite to eat before entering my deathtrap gauntlet?
>The wall across from you has stairs and a service elevator. Why does Chiri keep building service elevators, anyway?
-
> Satori and Rika: Mokou is the official death trap tester, have her check on the food and the service elevator.
> Mokou: Object to being the death trap tester.
> Consider leaving tower, then burning it down. We don't have to be inside the tower to smoke her out.
-
Satori
>"Okuu, take care of things like you did the last time you were here. I'll just sit back and trust it to you."
-
I was planning to update on the lunar new year for fun, but then I realized that I'm too lazy to keep a schedule currently.
Rika
> Satori and Rika: Mokou is the official death trap tester, have her check on the food and the service elevator.
>Logically, an immortal would make a good everything-tester. If she dies, she'll just come back!
>Satori has had the same idea, and is arguing with Mokou about it.
>"C'mon, Mokou! It's for the good of the team!" you try to persuade her.
>"If this ends up killing me, it'll be on your conscience," she mutters.
>"Only until you're alive again."
Satori
> Satori and Rika: Mokou is the official death trap tester, have her check on the food and the service elevator.
>You decide to take an idea floating around Rika's mind. "Hey, Mokou. You can just test the food and service elevator for deathtraps, right?"
>"And risk getting killed?" No way.
>"You're immortal. You'd get better."
>"Dying still hurts." It's not like I don't die. I just don't stay dead.
>Rika joins in pressuring Mokou. "C'mon, Mokou! It's for the good of the team!" Convenience, more like, but that doesn't need to be said...
>Mokou gives in. "If this ends up killing me, it'll be on your conscience." Maybe I should just burn this place down. Smoke the annoying youkai out.
>"Okuu, take care of things like you did the last time you were here. I'll just sit back and trust it to you."
>Mokou's jaw drops. "What? You're sending me to explore the tower with that birdbrain?" No way. Not ever. Can't trust her.
>"Hey!" Utsuho pouts. "I'm not a birdbrain!"
>Her mind is empty. "Yes you are," you tell her.
>She pouts, but falls silent. You clap your hands to get everyone's attention. "Well, since we've got this all figured out, let's not let this food go to waste! Mokou, if you'd please?"
Mokou
>"Mokou, if you'd please?"
> Mokou: Object to being the death trap tester.
>You grumble sour nothings under your breath.
>The food doesn't taste like poison, in any case. You give the thumbs-up sign. This is actually quite good.
>Upon your signal, everybody digs in.
OM NOM NOMSKIP!
>Rika is giving some ridiculously overdramatic speech about you testing out the service elevator.
>You catch something about "The good of SCIENCE" and "without a spatula, of course," but other than that, you don't pay much attention.
>And then Rin pushes you into her wheelbarrow before dumping you unceremoniously into the elevator.
>Well, you might as well try it out, since you're here.
> Consider leaving tower, then burning it down. We don't have to be inside the tower to smoke her out.
>The elevator music (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjC0bhNgOdA) is relaxing. For some reason, you feel like it fits the infinite nightmare that this tower must have been planned to be.
>You turn your thoughts to watching the tower burn once you get back down.
>It doesn't look all that flammable, though. Maybe if you apply hotter fire...
>The elevator dings. Ah. You've reached the top.
>It opens to a blank wall.
>Wait, no. It's got writing on it.
Ya tryin' to cheat? TOO BAD!
Inescapable deathtrap! Bam! This whole thing's rigged to explode!
If anyone is reading this, I won the bet. Take that, magical talky book!
>That's when the elevator explodes.
Interlude
>Satori hears a distant explosion that sounds like it came from the top of the elevator shaft.
>"Well, looks like that was a deathtrap," she remarks.
Mokou
Reviving, please wait...
>You suppose Chiri didn't count on someone surviving the explosion. After all, you didn't land back at the bottom.
>Conveniently, the wall was broken down. You can see Chiri arguing with an open book, but you can only hear her side of the argument.
>"Hah! Told you!"
>"What? It's an explosion! Nobody 'just survives' something like that!"
>"Yeah, I know everyone here cheats. Still, it's an explosion! That's the most effective deathtrap you can get, short of throwing a train at someone."
>"...what do you mean by 'look behind you'?"
-
> Mokou - Well that was easy.
> Approach Chiri and book.
> Resolve incident.
> Satori and Rika - Check to see if Mokou is ok.
-
Mokou
>"Death has a bad habit of not sticking when I'm the target, y'know?"
-
Mokou
> Mokou - Well that was easy.
> Approach Chiri and book.
>The two are still arguing, somehow.
>This is going to be fun. Oh, yes.
>"Death has a bad habit of not sticking when I'm the target, y'know?"
>Chiri doesn't look at you and tries to wave you away. "Yes, yes. Magical cheaty powers. Now, can this wait? I'm winning the argument!"
>Then she realizes that someone is in the room with her. "Oh. Well, this is awkward..."
>She yells at the book. "And stop laughing, you!"
> Resolve incident.
>This is a good time to declare a spellcard, you decide. "'Imperishable Shooting'!"
>Chiri backs away slowly, but her efforts to escape fail as she starts having to focus at not getting hit. "Why are there so many bullets?! Isn't the usual ridiculous number of them crazy enough?"
>"Danmaku duels can never have enough bullets~!" You sing. It feels good to let out your stress on the perpetrator.
Satori
> Satori and Rika - Check to see if Mokou is ok.
>"Perhaps we should check on Mokou," you muse.
>"You guys can go do that," Yuuka shrugs. "I'm staying here. This food is delicious." Didn't know that Chiri was quite the chef. Maybe I'll kidnap her to cook for me or something...
>Murmurs of agreement are heard around the room.
>Looks like you'll have to do this yourself - oh wait. Rika's bashing the elevator doors open with a wrench.
>"How did they just slide open at the touch of a button?" she asks nobody in particular. In my experience, the best way to start to understand something is by breaking it and looking at all the pieces.
>That's convenient. You grab Rika and start flying up the elevator shaft.
>"Wait, I wanted to see how it worked!" Rika whines. Not fair! I should be able to use it! Don't know why or how, but it's SCIENCE!
>You ignore her. Near the top, you can see that Mokou has declared a spellcard.
>This wouldn't have happened if you kept casting the spell!
>"Shut up, book! Trying to dodge, here!" 'sides, you kept nagging me about it and I don't like having to roll for everything.
>I can read your thoughts. Stop it. You should have listened to me.
>"Yeah, you were telling me to take over Gensokyo. I heard how well that went for Utsuho." I only went along with things because I would be able to make deathtraps again!
>Clearly, you aren't fit to rule. My last link was much more cooperative.
>"Yeah, yeah. Yadda yadda yadda. Why am I the only one that gets punished?" Don't care about the last time you tried this! Too busy focusing on dodging!
>Chiri doesn't look like she can keep dodging for much longer.
-
Rika - > Discover mechanics of elevator.
Satori - > Contemplate using book yourself to take over Gensokyo.
> Roll for initiative. Detemine whether talking is a free action.
Mokou - > Is it bad form to combine Fujiyama Volcano with Imperishable Shooting?
-
Satori
>Taking over Gensokyo? That's just silly. Remember what happened when Okuu tried it?
-
You now, one would think that I'd be more motivated to do stuff during vacation...
Rika
Rika - > Discover mechanics of elevator.
>Well, from where you are right now, you have a possible theory...
>The bottom of the shaft must contain a large spring that compresses based on the button you push. The spring launches the elevator to the desired floor, where the electromagnets activate, holding the elevator in place for people to exit.
>This does sound like a logical idea. Clearly this is how elevators work.
>Oh, stuff is happening between other people. You feel like you should start throwing wrenches because everyone else is shooting HOLY FRIG THAT IS A LOT OF BULLETS
Mokou - > Is it bad form to combine Fujiyama Volcano with Imperishable Shooting?
>Well, considering spellcard rules forbid that, it is. Then again, Chiri hasn't been following the spellcard rules now, has she?
>Yes. This is going to be fun. "Hourai 'South Wind, Clear Sky -Fujiyama Volcano-'!"
>Chiri's jaw drops. "Aw, come on! One spellcard's enough bullets already!"
>You briefly wonder whether any of your allies are going to join the fight. If they are, you kinda made it hard for anyone except you to be up here.
>There's also a flash of concern for Chiri, but then you remember she's a youkai. She'll heal up soon after this.
Satori
Satori - > Contemplate using book yourself to take over Gensokyo.
>You consider taking over Gensokyo with that book, but then again, there's not much use for a stupid spell that forces everyone to do things by chance.
>At least the spell not active, now. You haven't needed your die for the past 6 updates 20 minutes.
> Roll for initiative. Detemine whether talking is a free action.
>Huh. You've actually spent a lot of that time talking.
>Taking over Gensokyo? That's just silly. Remember what happened when Okuu tried it?
>And why would you want to take over Gensokyo, anyway? Not even Yukari can control it.
>Chiri still manages to keep an argument up with a book while attempting to dodge two spellcards at once. Girl's got talent.
>Of course, you'd be more impressed if she actually could dodge. Right now she's just dodging into other bullets.
>You have no chance of dodging this. Cast the spell and you might get lucky.
>"Yeah, and what if I'm UNlucky?" Worse outcome, right there!
>Why do you refuse to follow my advice?
>"Well, I can't feel any more threatened than I do right now." Threatening me is out of the question. Hey, wait! I have an idea!
>Chiri holds the book in fron of her to shield herself. She's got some pretty good ideas.
>No. Stop. I am not a shield to use for your amusement.
>"You are now! Get castin' or you're the one who's going to be pummeled!" Haha! I finally get the upper hand against someone!
>Insufferable little youkai!
>"Yes. I'm quite charming, aren't I?" Adrenaline high~
>You're delirious!
>"And you don't even know a single shielding spell. So, where does that leave us?" What am I doing I am not being rational oh man this book's a talking grimoire and insanely powerful why am I trying to get on his nerves
>You think you should intervene, but you also don't like getting hit by a whole lot of bullets. What the heck is Rika doing, anyway?
Now that just leaves the question of how the elevator goes down...
>Off pondering her science again. So, that just leaves you to finish things up around here.
>Well, not exactly. You could always wait until Mokou's had her fill of breaking spellcard rules.
-
> Mokou - Continue doing what you are doing until Chiri gives up.
> Satori - Wait until Mokou is done, then copy the most cheatingest spellcard in Mokou's memory and use it.
> Rika - Do we have the copy tank up here with us?
-
Updates faster than a cheetah, considering that cheetahs don't update adventures!
Mokou
> Mokou - Continue doing what you are doing until Chiri gives up.
>Chiri is screaming in terror.
>You think that a minute or so should do it.
>Chiri's screaming dies down, and she starts talking again. "Am I allowed to give up yet?"
>Again you can only hear one side of the conversation.
>"Look, I'm just about ready to pass out anyway."
>"Yeah, well, I'm starting to think giant lasers are preferable to this friggin' giant storm of bullets."
>One momentary lapse in concentration later, Chiri runs headfirst into an amulet, and then stumbles back into the blast radius of a Fujiyama Volcano explosion. Sweet.
>This seems like an okay time to stop the barrage. You break your own spellcards, a practice that isn't used often because usually the only time you'd want to stop is if you wanted to forfeit.
>You consider the implications, then decide that Chiri's been through enough at your hands.
>Oh, there's Satori and Rika. You wave to them. Satori's got a strange look on her face, though...
Rika
> Rika - Do we have the copy tank up here with us?
>You knew you were forgetting something! You don't have it with you, mainly because you couldn't fit it up the elevator shaft.
>Ow. Getting dropped onto the ground hurts. What was Satori thinking?
>On second thought, you don't want to know. She's got a scary look on her face.
>How somebody who looks like a child is still able to make a bone-chilling smile (http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=797336) like that, you have no idea. Chalk it up to weird youkai stuff. wait are those veins connecting to the third eye really shaped like a noose? That's just creepy.
>She looks like she's ready to declare a spellcard. Thinking quickly, you construct a makeshift barricade out of wrenches, and get ready to wait out the storm.
Satori
>Well, Mokou has decided that she should stop attacking Chiri, judging by the current lack of general chaos.
>You fly up with Rika, and drop the scientist unceremoniously onto the ground.
>You, however, have yet to exact your revenge. And you need to. That youkai has put you and everyone else through a lot of trouble.
>You suspect that if she was around before the Underground was formed, she would be one of the youkai forced to migrate down along with the oni and other youkai.
>The time for thoughts, however has passed. You have a veritable library of phoenix-themed spellcards, and you're not about to let it go to waste, so...
>You browse through Mokou's memories and pick out a fun one.
>"Hey, Chiri and grimoire! Guess what I can do?" you grab their attention. You're probably grinning in an unsettling way right now, but that's secondary to the cathartic feeling of beating up a perpetrator. "Recollection 'Phoenix's Tail'!"
>Chiri's eyes widen and even the grimoire manages to look terrified as you ready your first phoenix for launch. They shout simultaneously, "Oh, fri-!"
-
Satori
>"You've caused quite a lot of trouble, so it's punishment time~"
>If Yuuka could see us now...Hey, there's a thought! Didn't we copy a move off her too? Well, if we're going for the maximum pain route we may as well go 'all in', as Yuugi says.
>So once the Phoenix's Tail copy ends, we'll let that one off too!
Mokou
>Man, we gotta remember to 'Beware The Nice Ones', or whatever it is those rabbits are always saying. Being immortal's pretty nice, but reviving hurts too.
-
Schedule? What schedule?
Mokou
>Man, we gotta remember to 'Beware The Nice Ones', or whatever it is those rabbits are always saying. Being immortal's pretty nice, but reviving hurts too.
>Reviving does hurt, and you do not want to be caught in the crossfire.
>That Rika girl has the right idea. You walk up to her bunker.
>"Hey! Build your own hideout!"
>"I lack the wrenches necessary to do so. Now let me in," you reply.
>"Fine," she grumbles. She constructs a temporary opening big enough for you to slip through, then closes it up after you enter.
Satori
>"You've caused quite a lot of trouble, so it's punishment time~"
>"I'd say I went through enough punishment already!" Chiri screams. If you want to punish someone, punish the book!
>You know as well as I do that we're linked until I'm sealed. You just have to deal with it.
>"Ah, but the book wasn't the one who was messing with the landscape, was it?" you laugh. "And by the way, book, I can hear what you're saying." You toss the phoenix at them while readying another one.
>What? A satori? Well, that would explain why you're using a spellcard that looks more like one that the phoenix girl would use.
>You might be drunk with power. Just a bit.
>"Please stop throwing phoenixes at us! I don't like recovering from burns!" Chiri begs. They huuurt...
>Come on, girl. You're a youkai! You can't just whine like a child!
>"On the contrary, she can," you point out helpfully. "She's only been alive for about two days or so."
>Stop interrupting my conversations with her!
>"Miiind reader~!" you sing. This is fun!
Satori
>If Yuuka could see us now...Hey, there's a thought! Didn't we copy a move off her too? Well, if we're going for the maximum pain route we may as well go 'all in', as Yuugi says.
>So once the Phoenix's Tail copy ends, we'll let that one off too!
>Suddenly, you have an idea. You break your spellcard, then smile sweetly at Chiri. "All right. I promise that I won't attack you with any more phoenixes..."
>Chiri breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank you!" I'm beat. Maybe I'll actually get to have a nice long nap.
>Careful, girl. Something's up. I don't trust this satori.
>You ignore them. "...but I never said I was done punishing you, did I? Recollection 'Master of Flowers'!"
>"On second thought go back to using phoenixes just don't use lasers please," Chiri babbles. Please don't be what I think it is...
>What are you afraid of, girl? The lasers I use can't be that traumatizing, can they?
>"Now," you announce as the first laser charges up, "here's a little spellcard that I got from someone I know named Yuuka..."
>Chiri whimpers. "It's not your lasers I'm traumatized by, book. It's hers."
Rika
>In the safety of your wrench-bunker, you watch as Satori fires off a HOLY FRIG THAT LASER IS RIDICULOUSLY HUGE.
>You think that you should take cares not to anger her. Especially if she has been with Yuuka lately.
>and... Yup. There's the maniacal laughter.
>"So," you strike up a conversation with Mokou. "What do you think about the whole incident-solving business?"
-
Mokou
>"Hectic. And remind me to not let that kid stick too close to Kazami, that's a recipe for insanity."
Satori
>"Aaaah~ That's more like it! I can see why she does this! It's so...relieving and cathartic! Have some more~!"
Rika
>Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, she's having fun alright.
-
> Satori - Is she defeated yet? If not, then why isn't she defeated yet?
> Maybe we should just slit her throat or something.
> Rika - be slightly disappointed that this plan did not include howitzers. Or an M1 Abrams. Or any tanks at all. We really wanted to blow things up from our unstoppable mobile fortresses of death.
> Maybe we can start an incident for the soul purpose of having a tank war. Consider whether we can get out of the post-incident beating by surrendering when our tanks fail, donating to Reimu's shrine, or if the beating would be inevitable.
> Maybe we can include giant lasers into our tank designs!
> Mokou - "Well, the Moriya shrine maiden and the satori's sister were a bit troublesome, but after I got rid of them it went pretty smoothly."
> "Actually, I may have accidentally started an incident when I abandoned them in the Netherworld."
> Bop Rika on the head for wanting to start pointless tank wars.
> Satori: Wait, what did Mokou just say about my sister?
-
Rika
>Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, she's having fun alright.
>It's times like these that remind you why you never go outside of your lab anymore. Youkai can be terrifying.
> Rika - be slightly disappointed that this plan did not include howitzers. Or an M1 Abrams. Or any tanks at all. We really wanted to blow things up from our unstoppable mobile fortresses of death.
> Maybe we can start an incident for the soul purpose of having a tank war. Consider whether we can get out of the post-incident beating by surrendering when our tanks fail, donating to Reimu's shrine, or if the beating would be inevitable.
>It's a shame that you wren't able to use your tanks. Really, you were preparing them to go out on the warpath against the shrine maiden, but now that there's two of them, you should probably rethink a purpose.
>Though, if you have enough tanks...
>Wait, Reimu might still beat you. You could give her a tank, maybe. You're sure that she wouldn't mind if her donation box had a tank in it.
>On second thought, she might. Actually, she probably will. You shouldn't do that.
> Maybe we can include giant lasers into our tank designs!
>But there's also the chance to use some giant lasers, and that's always fun.
>Time to get feedback. "Say, Mokou, what's your stance on laser tanks? Do they counter shrine maidens?"
>"Nothing counters the red-white. She cheats," Yuuka explains tersely.
>WHOA SNAP WHEN DID YUUKA GET HERE?
Mokou
>"Hectic. And remind me to not let that kid stick too close to Kazami, that's a recipe for insanity."
>Rika nods. Her head seems to be lost in the clouds. She doesn't even notice Yuuka squeezing into the wrench-bunker.
>You think that you should warn her, but on the other hand...
>Yeah. You'll just see how that works out.
>"Say, Mokou," the scientist asks, "what's your stance on laser tanks? Do they counter shrine maidens?"
>Oh, no. She can't really be considering... wait of course she is.
>Yuuka speaks up before you do. "Nothing counters the red-white. She cheats."
>Well, now that Yuuka's presence has been noticed, you think that you'll give your answer.
>Wait, is Rika really frozen up with fear?
> Bop Rika on the head for wanting to start pointless tank wars.
>You give her a couple of experimental pokes. Rika doesn't respond.
>You hit her on the head. It was a stupid idea, anyway. "Tank wars are bad idea. You're going to start some sort of arms race and then it's only a matter of time until somebody gets it into their head to build the ultimate tank by fighting everyone else in Gensokyo with tank warfare."
>"That sounds like the plot of an outside-world 'video game'," Yuuka remarks. "In more logical news, how were things going on your end before Yukari interfered?"
> Mokou - "Well, the Moriya shrine maiden and the satori's sister were a bit troublesome, but after I got rid of them it went pretty smoothly."
> "Actually, I may have accidentally started an incident when I abandoned them in the Netherworld."
>"Oh, Sanae?" Rika interjects. "Yeah. She's insane. She flung my tank at her own shrine! You did a good deed by abandoning her."
>"Koishi means well, I'm sure," Yuuka remarks. "She's just a bit strange in the head. I suspect that her shutting off her third eye did that."
>A laser grazes the bunker. "What did you do with my sister?!" Satori yells.
>Oh, shoot. You broke the number 1 rule for spellcard audiences: Never get on the spellcard user's bad side.
>"Aaaah~ That's more like it! I can see why she does this! It's so...relieving and cathartic! Have some more~!"
>"Please don't hurt me any more than you already have, Miss Satori," Chiri begs. I'm surprised I haven't collapsed with exhaustion yet.
>Obviously not. I'm reaching into my vast energy reserves to keep you active. You'd do me no good passed out.
> Satori - Is she defeated yet? If not, then why isn't she defeated yet?
> Maybe we should just slit her throat or something.
>Ah. That's why she isn't defeated yet. You should do something about it, perhaps. Still, this spellcard's a powerful one. It's not timing out any time soon, so you're not in a hurry.
>You can't slit her throat, obviously. You don't have a knife on you! Also, that'd be against spellcard rules, and you don't want Reimu after you.
>You take a glance at Rika's... wrench-bunker? How did she make that? And how is it big enough to hold three people?
>For that matter, how did she make a bunker shielded from your power to read minds?
>Scientists are weird.
>Say, what are they talking about in there?
> Satori: Wait, what did Mokou just say about my sister?
>That woman abandoned your sister in the Netherworld? Here's something that requires your immediate attention! You focus your lasers on the bunker.
>"What did you do with my sister?!"
-
> Mokou - "Don't worry, I left her with Sanae. They'll be fine having eachother to look after themselves."
> Satori - Burn the book.
> We don't need to follow spell card rules against inanimate objects, even if they are inconveniently sentient.
> Worry about Koishi.
> Sanae and Koishi - Have Super Happy Funtime Adventures.
-
Mokou
> Mokou - "Don't worry, I left her with Sanae. They'll be fine having eachother to look after themselves."
>Satori raises an eyebrow. "Think about what you said. Sanae and Koishi can look after themselves?"
>Yeah. She has a point there.
>That's... actually terrifying. What are they up to right now?
>On second thought, maybe it's better if you don't know.
Satori
> Satori - Burn the book.
> We don't need to follow spell card rules against inanimate objects, even if they are inconveniently sentient.
>You can deal with Mokou later. Right now you have a grimoire to get rid of. "Chiri, please hand me that book."
>Don't do it, girl.
>Chiri looks thoughtful. "Well, it looks like this comes down to a simple decision. Should I give Mr. Meanie-Grimoire over to Crazy-Mind-Reader-Lady? Or rather, whose lasers am I more afraid of?" Legitimate questions, all of them!
>Are you serious? She's going to burn me if she gets a hold of me!
>"And I'm sure you will be missed. Now let me finish deliberating on my situation and we can discuss this at a later date." Sheesh, just give me a second, okay?
>Those two are like a comedy duo. Not a particularly good one, mind. "Have you made your decision?" you ask Chiri.
>Chiri hands you the grimoire. "Please don't hurt me!" And I'm addressing both of you by the way.
>What? You're actually going through with this?
>Chiri frowns. "That's coming from the magical grimoire that threatened me with lasers if I didn't cooperate. I'd say my choice has solid reasoning."
>She backs off slowly. "Now, if you'll excuse me... LOOK OVER THERE" LOOK OVER THERE!
>You are so surprised by Chiri's sudden outburst that you actually look in the direction she was pointing. When you look back, Chiri is gone, and an open door in the side of the tower slowly swing shut.
>She can be more competent than she seems, apparently. Reminds you of a certain little umbrella youkai.
>"Hey! Surprising people is my job!" That's no fair!
>"Hello, Kogasa," you remark.
>Well, in any case, you have the grimoire.
>Is it possible that I can persuade you into not burning me?
>"Nope~!"
> Worry about Koishi.
>Now where is that sister of yours? You're worried she's getting herself into trouble.
>Scratch that. You know she's getting into trouble. Especially with Sanae around.
> Sanae and Koishi - Have Super Happy Funtime Adventures.
>On the other side of the fourth wall, Parsee is about to toss this command into the incinerator before being interrupted.
>"Frog Sign 'Wily Toad'!"
>Ohhh no...
Miracle♪Sanae and Love♥Koishi Adventure Hijack!
>Through the power of miracles, Sanae is on both sides of the fourth wall! Adventure START!
>You are Sanae Kochiya, the absolute bestest shrine maiden in Gensokyo!
>Well, besides Reimu, but that's because nobody can beat Reimu.
>You have just been kicked out of the Netherworld. Those people are rude. You just wanted to see what ghosts tasted like!
>Koishi Komeiji is with you, and currently riding on a turtle.
>There is a strange tower visible in the distance, so you fly towards it with all your miracle-empowered speed. Koishi follows by riding on a turtle.
>"Get off me! I am for use of the Hakurei shrine maiden only!"
>Cool. A talking turtle.
>What happened to the tank scientist anyway? She was cool. Maybe you can get her to work with the kappa, and then they could build a cool giant robot!
>Wait, did that girl just throw herself out a door on the side of the tower? Why would she do that?
>She's falling! Quick! What do you do?
-
> Koishi and Sanae - Discuss theories about why falling girl isn't flying.
> Comment on falling girl's form as she goes splat.
> Satori - Realize you really have to finish up here before Koishi convinces Utsuho that the world would be a better place if it were 110 degrees fahrenheight.
> Or Sanae attempts to exterminate the Taoists.
> Mokou - Wonder what kinds of things Koishi and Sanae do when unsupervised.
-
Collaborative KoiNae Perspective
> Koishi and Sanae - Discuss theories about why falling girl isn't flying.
>"Say, Koishi, do you know why she's not flying?"
>"Perhaps she forgot that she could?"
>"That seems likely. Should we help her? I've got a miracle for that."
>"Nah. I hear that falling is a learning experience."
> Comment on falling girl's form as she goes splat.
>"Learning experience? Koishi, you're not making sense!"
>"I'm serious, Sanae. You gotta know how to fall. See how she's flailing around wildly? That mean she's panicking. Never panic while falling."
>"Well then, what do you do while you're falling?"
>"Try to land on someone. Hopefully they'll break your fall."
>"Landing on someone neutralizes fall damage? I thought that was a video game thing!"
>"At any rate, the only way she'll survive a fall like that is if she's a youkai. Or if she lands on someone. Or both."
>"Hey, there's Reimu! Hi, Reimu!" Sanae waves wildly to the other shrine maiden, who is flying towards the tower.
>"Resentment 'Grudge Returning'! That'll show you to take over my job!"
>Parsee has wrested command back from Sanae. Sheesh, give a girl the power to make miracles and she just uses it to get into the spotlight...
Mokou
> Mokou - Wonder what kinds of things Koishi and Sanae do when unsupervised.
>Well, the last you saw of the two, you left them in the Netherworld, where Koishi was licking ghosts and Sanae was preaching to the evil demon tree.
>Suffice to say, they're probably acting on whims most of the time.
>Why is Rika so quiet?
>Yuuka pokes the scientist. "I suspect she's gone catatonic. Sheesh, surprise a human just a bit and they never recover."
>"But she was just fine a couple of minutes ago," you point out.
>"And then her brain caught up to the situation. She's unresponsive now," Yuuka explains.
Satori
> Satori - Realize you really have to finish up here before Koishi convinces Utsuho that the world would be a better place if it were 110 degrees fahrenheight.
>So, you're not letting me go, are you?
>"Not at all. Hey, Mokou! Can you burn this book for me? I'm in a hurry."
>Mokou climbs out of the bunker. "Don't leave me alone with Yuuka, nooooo" Rika moans
>We, can't we negotiate this?
>"I don't think so," you reply. "Mokou, do you think we should negotiate with this grimoire?"
>Mokou grins and sets her hand on fire. "I'd say you know my answer." Burn the witch! Er, book. Magic book. Evil magic book.
>Somehow, people were more lenient before spellcard rules. That's really an anomaly.
>You toss the book to Mokou, who catches it in her burning hand.
>M one regret is that I didn't get to threaten anyone except Chiri with giant lasers.
>"Just saying, but those last words do you no favors," you sigh.
>Any moral qualms you have about this are dispelled when you remember that it was being a jerk that nobody liked. Also, there's that whole "take over Gensokyo" thing.
> Or Sanae attempts to exterminate the Taoists.
>The thought that Sanae is left unsupervised sends chills down your spine.
>The thought that she's with Koishi lets you relax. You know your sister's brand of madness, so that's easier to deal with.
>Who knows? Maybe the two are being perfectly rational and are just commenting on events as they happen.
That's right! It's epilogue time!
>Chiri screams as she falls down the tower. Really, it's her fault that she didn't remember how to fly until it was too late.
>Is that Reimu walking out? Oh no. This won't be good for anyone involved.
>Reimu's miko-senses intuition warns her of an incoming youkai attack. She aims a spellcard upwards. "Dream Sign 'Evil-Sealing Circle'!"
>Direct hit! And Chiri goes flying! Well, she's a youkai so she should be fine.
>Sanae applauds appreciatively.
>"So, is the incident solved yet?" Reimu asks.
>Sanae shrugs. "Don't ask me. I was having a religious debate with a evil demon tree in the Netherworld for half of it."
>Koishi hops onto Sanae's shoulders. "I expect that big sis is resolving the conflict! That's what she does in the Underground, too!"
>Sanae looks in the direction where Chiri was thrown. "Say, where do you think she's going to land?"
-
Koishi
>"Hmmmmmmmmmm~ Dunno. Wanna follow her so we find out? Adventure~!"
Rika
>"Lasers. Lasers. Eeeeeegh...."
Mokou
>"Hm...Maybe I should go into the garbage disposal business too. Fire solves a lot of problems after all."
>Beat.
>"...Mostly because I just keep throwing fire at my problems until it's not a problem anymore."
Satori
>....And people say the Underground is insane....Then again, we somewhat went a little crazy there ourselves.
>Beat.
>Let's make another copy of that spellcard we just used. Never hurts to have something like that on hand.
-
> Satori: "Well, I guess we won?"
> Er, find Koishi.
> Begin preparations for mandatory post-incident tea party.
-
Playable epilogues! Everyone is controllable! Go wild!
Third-person something-or-other. Sheesh, I'm not a professional writer!
Rika
>"Lasers. Lasers. Eeeeeegh...."
>Yuuka nudges Rika. "Well, if you don't mind, I'll get out of this bunker. My compliments to the builder; it's very well constructed."
>Rika doesn't respond. She's too busy mumbling about giant lasers.
Satori
>....And people say the Underground is insane....Then again, we somewhat went a little crazy there ourselves.
>Beat.
>Let's make another copy of that spellcard we just used. Never hurts to have something like that on hand.
>Satori gets another copy of Recollection 'Master of Flowers' as Yuuka climbs out of the wrench-bunker.
>Kogasa is pouting. "Don't just ignore me! Be surprised!"
>Satori ignores her.
>Rika peeks out of her hideout. "Ah. It's the umbrella."
> Satori: "Well, I guess we won?"
>Mokou nods thoughtfully. "That seems to be the case. I think we're all supposed to have tea or something, now."
>"Are we?" Rika asks. "Hey, there wasn't any tea when I caused my incident!"
>"You were the second real incident, Rika," Reimu explains as she flies in through the door Chiri left in the side of the tower. "I didn't have any incident-solving guidelines then."
>"Oh hello it's the red-white shrine maiden I think I'll just hide back in my safe spot," Rika babbles.
>Reimu walks over to the wrench-bunker and systematically dismantles it. "By the way, you left your tank at the ground entrance. I hope you don't mind that I got the yin-yang balls to throw it back into the village."
>"But I liked that tank!" Rika whines.
> Er, find Koishi.
>"Great," Satori mutters. "Now I just need to find Koishi..."
>"Oh, her? She's with Sanae. They said something about finding where Chiri flew off to," Reimu gestures at the door.
>"Should we go look for her too?" Mokou asks.
>"That can happen later. Right now, there's free tea and food!" Reimu grins. "Well, someone's going to have to supply it soon."
> Begin preparations for mandatory post-incident tea party.
>"Well, if it's food you're looking for, Chiri left a banquet on the first floor. We can go down the elevator shaft and finish it off, if the others haven't finished it already," Satori points out.
>Reimu practically lights up with excitement. "Banquet? Oh, this is going to be good. See you guys there!"
>She rockets down the elevator shaft at speeds that normal humans aren't meant to go at.
>"That doesn't look safe," Yuuka remarks. I'm sure humans aren't supposed to go that fast.
>Satori stretches. "She's a shrine maiden. She's going to be fine."
Mokou
>"Hm...Maybe I should go into the garbage disposal business too. Fire solves a lot of problems after all."
>Beat.
>"...Mostly because I just keep throwing fire at my problems until it's not a problem anymore."
>"Does that actually work?" Rika asks with interest.
>"Sure it does! By my calculations, Fire can solve four problems out of five, including moon people," Mokou grins.
>"Wow, I need to install more flamethrowers on my tanks, if that's the case," Rika muses.
>"At any rate," Yuuka remarks, "We'd better get to the feast before everyone else finishes it."
>She picks Rika up. "Since you can't fly, I guess I'll carry you down."
>"This feels rather demeaning," Rika mutters.
Scene change!
Koishi
>"Hmmmmmmmmmm~ Dunno. Wanna follow her so we find out? Adventure~!"
>Sanae smiles. "All right! Miracle powers, activate! Let's find that girl!"
>"To adventure!" Koishi announces. "And I'm staying on your shoulders, by the way."
>It seems that she was launched in the direction of Hakurei Shrine! Onwards!
-
Guys help I'm terrible at writing endings
This needed a conclusion some time!
>"So, what happened next?"
>"Well, obviously there was a party. Lasted for a couple of days or so. I think it just ended up being that long because Suika was bored."
>"Right. Thanks, Reimu. I just have one question..."
>"Yes?"
>"How does this relate to my original question?"
>"Oh, yes. Um. Hmm. Well. What was your question again?"
>"I asked, 'What is daily life in Gensokyo like?'."
>"Wow. I got a bit sidetracked there, didn't I?"
>"Yes. You got extremely sidetracked."
>"Heh. Well, I hope you enjoy being in Gensokyo, because you're probably not getting back outside the border again."
>"Er, what?"
>"Outsiders always react the same way when I tell them that. Apparently, the border is easiest to pass through if you're not aware of its existence."
>"That's not very logical, is it?"
>"Did you forget my entire story? This place was made for being illogical."
>"Well, there is that."
>"At any rate, the human village is just down that way. Do you want me to escort you there?"
>"I think I'll be fine. Thanks for the offer, though!"
>The outsider tips his hat to the shrine maiden as she waves goodbye to him.
>Reimu waits until the newest addition to Gensokyo's human population is out of site, then turns to glare at a youkai sitting at the table.
>"I think it's time that I ask what you're still doing here, Chiri. It's been almost a month!"
>Chiri raises her hands defensively. "I'm just here until my house is fixed! I fell in through the roof after you threw me out of the shrine."
>"Why don't you just quantum it back together again?" Reimu fumes.
>"Everyone knows the place as my house now, so I can't do that! It's practically got a name already!"
>Reimu sighs. "Even when the party isn't at the shrine, I still get freeloading youkai," she grumbles.
>"Hey, I brought a donation!"
>"No. Indestructible teddy bears do not count as donations."
>"But it even matches your red-white-ness!"
>"I appreciate the sentiment," Reimu mutters, "but still, you can't buy food with teddy bears."
>"It worked all right at Kourindou. I got a candy bar from outside."
>"Yes, you did. As I recall, you spent the next few days coughing up bits of your insides."
>"So it was a little out of date. I wasn't too sick!"
>"You were. I seem to remember dragging you to Yukari to gap the candy out of your system."
>Gensokyo is a place unrestrained by common sense. The residents know that and the visitors soon learn that. People have abilities that defy logic, and youkai roam the countryside. Not every day in this place is an adventure, but the days with incidents are remembered with either fondness, confusion, or outrage.
>I hope you have enjoyed this nonsensical tale of mine!
-
> Begin next adventure?
-
Well, I want to take a break right now, but don't be surprised if I decide to make Off The Rails 3 sometime later this year. Right now, I'm relaxing and playing some of the other adventures in this board until I get more motivation to do things/decide that I have a good idea that's worth making into an adventure or story.